If you missed TNA Impact Wrestling Sacrifice 2012 you missed one of the better pay per view events in TNA history. Bobby Roode and Rob Van Dam topped off a fast paced show with one of the most exciting matches of the year.
I tend to be more critical of TNA Wrestling on a week to basis than I’d like to be. Unfortunately they just have a great knack of making moves in and out of the ring that makes you scratch your head. At the same time I think it is important to give the company props when deserved and in my mind they deserve all of the props they can get for an outstanding Sacrifice event on Sunday night.
Bobby Roode retained the TNA Impact Wrestling world heavyweight championship defeating former champion Rob Van Dam in a ladder match. As far as TNA pay per view main-events, I’d rank this as one of the top main-events in company history. Now purists (or if fans with the last name Cornette) will probably hate this match due to the excessive high risk bumps you get from a ladder match. But if you like crazy, action-packed, crazy bumping ladder matches than this is right in your wheelhouse.
The finish of this one was weird to say the least. I have seen a few reports that have called it a botched finish, yet I am not so sure it didn’t go exactly as planned. Roode was climbing the ladder when RVD tied to jump towards him to stop the climb. Van Dam landed with his knee or ankle twisted and tangled between the rungs. It looked sick! Both guys tried once again to climb the ladder. Roode kicked RVD off the ladder, grabbed the title, and retained.
I am becoming a bigger Bobby Roode fan by the week. I’ll admit that I didn’t get it and was critical of the push and title run early on. However, I can admit that I was dead wrong on this one. The guy has worked his butt off putting on very good-great matches every time he has had the spot on pay per view. The kid is a workhorse and has done more to put an emphasis on championship matches than anyone has in a long time. His promos and presence are just as good and I think TNA has a great thing going with Roode in the championship spot.
The other highlight of the night for me was the Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles match. This one reminded me a lot of those early Randy Orton vs. Christian matches where both were babyfaces. Angle got the win here with a heel hook in a great match if you are into those babyface vs. babyface matches (which I am). Even better, the post match set up a feud with Kazarian and Christopher Daniels vs. Angle and Styles in what has potential to be the feud or match series of the year. Kazarian and Daniels beat down Styles after the match and Angle made the save. All of the sudden I have a big reason to start tuning in on Thursday nights.
The fail of the show and believe me there is one big fail on every TNA show goes to my least favorite pushed wrestler in Ken Anderson. Anderson defeated Jeff Hardy in a fairly average match which was not nearly as exciting Jeff’s recent matches in TNA. Referee Earl Hebner botched the finish here and counted to three after Hardy kicked out. That is a big fail but the huge fail came when Anderson threw a temper tantrum following the match…in which he just won! Yes, it was a screwed up finish but nobody had to know that at home. Instead, Anderson looks like an idiot getting mad after he just defeated Jeff Hardy because the 5,000 people watching didn’t see his last few spots. This was bush league to me and probably looked very odd to the casual fan who couldn’t make heads or tails of what was going on.
Overall the show was pretty damned good with two great main-events. It should be noted that whether it is coincidence or not that believe it or not, Dixie Carter nor Eric Bischoff were reportedly at the show. So TNA has its best show in ages with Dixie and Eric reportedly out of the building. I’d say that is a little more than just coincidence.
Full TNA Impact Wrestling Sacrifice 2012 results & winners…
Kazarian and Christopher Daniels defeated Magnus & Samoa Joe to win the tag team championship
Gail Kim defeated Brooke Tessmacher to retain the Knockouts championship
Devon defeated Robbie E & Robbie T to retain the TV title Mr. Anderson defeated Jeff Hardy Crimson defeated Eric Young Bully Ray defeated Austin Aries
Kurt Angle defeated AJ Styles
Bobby Roode defeated Rob Van Dam in a Ladder Match to retain the world heavyweight championship
It was smiles this week in the TNA Impact Wrestling camp when it was announced that they had signed King Mo Lawal as part of a dual MMA and wrestling contract. Yet a closer look at the signing has me wondering whether Dixie Carter was suckered by Bellator and Spike TV.
I really don’t like to be a nitpicker when it comes to TNA Impact Wrestling but this one had me scratching my head. On the surface it looks like a good deal for the company. As part of the deal they get a recognized MMA fighter, dual promotion on Bellator, and in a favorable position with Spike TV. However, once I started taking a look at this deal in detail I started wondering if signing Mo was really a good idea after all.
The first thing that immediately jumped out at me here was how this deal came about. Dixie Carter on a conference call stated that nobody knew of the deal but her, Mo, Spike, and Bellator. She stated that her and Mo talked storylines without consulting anyone in creative. This sent off a red flag to me and is exactly why there are more days than not where you sit back and have to feel sorry for the poor people in TNA that have to answer to this woman.
It is one thing for Vince McMahon to secretly sign someone and come up with ideas but it is a whole other idea for Dixie to do it. In this case, Dixie is now pushing a guy on her creative team that they may not even want. Additionally, you now are disrupting whatever plans the creative team had over the next several weeks and months with King Mo. Can the creative team really get behind a guy they may not have even wanted or will they secretly sabotage his push to prove a point to Dixie? It sounds cynical but if you have been around the wrestling business, you will understand that what I am saying is not some kind of crazy conspiracy theory. That is going to be the first and biggest hurdle with King Mo.
Second, this man has very little pro wrestling experience. Who knows how well he will pick up pro wrestling? Maybe he gets it quick and pays off immediately but there is very little precedence that says he could. Even Kurt Angle and Brock Lesnar had extensive training in OVW before they were brought up to the WWE. Ken Shamrock and Dan Severn both had pro wrestling experience before signing with the WWE. Dixie Carter is sitting around plotting angles for a guy that could get into the ring and become a big embarrassment. Let’s face it. TNA’s track record of taking non-wrestlers and putting them in the ring (Jenna Morasca, Jersey Shore kids) isn’t very good.
Three, you now look like a follower rather than a leader. King Mo and Brock Lesnar are completely different animals. However, to the casual eye you look like the company that is trying to imitate the WWE by putting an MMA guy in the ring. On top of that, you are putting an MMA guy in the ring that probably not even a quarter of your audience even heard of. Perception can sometimes be reality and while the situations are a lot different, some may see them the same.
Four, King Mo was not a big MMA star. He wasn’t even in the UFC. TNA had a bigger star in Bobby Lashley who was a dual MMA/pro wrestling star and he did nothing for them. If they couldn’t get it right with a pro wrestler who was fighting MMA how will they get it right with an MMA fighter doing pro wrestling? Mo has only headlined one MMA event in his career and that was on Showtime! This isn’t as if you are bringing over a known MMA quantity. Quite frankly TNA would have been better off bringing in an unknown pro wrestler and giving him an MMA gimmick. It is one thing for the WWE to bring in the biggest draw in MMA and it is another for TNA to bring in a guy that a very small audience is familiar with.
Five, there is baggage here with Mo. For one, he is under suspension right now for testing positive for anabolic steroids. Yes here we go again with another wrestler being signed coming off a drug suspension. Two, Mo was fired after calling a member of the Nevada State Athletic Commission a “racist b*tch” on Twitter. Everyone is entitled to meltdown once in a while but is the guy you want out there as one of the faces of your company? Heck with as much crap as Dana White has put up with from his fighter going over the line on Twitter even he wasn’t comfortable with that and fired Lawal.
Six, what happens if Mo goes into Bellator and loses his first fight? In the world of MMA strange things happen and unless you are fixing the fight, Mo has just as much a chance of losing as he does of winning. What happens after he has gone through a bunch of TNA wrestlers and he comes up short or even gets dominated in Bellator? You have spent the last several months telling your audience what a tough guy Mo has been, beaten several of your name wrestlers, and yet at the end of the day he is no tougher than half of your roster in the eyes of the TNA fans. What now? In the case of Brock, WWE fans have seen Brock kick some major butt in the UFC. Even more, Brock won’t be fighting while wrestling. Mo does have a great MMA record but who knows how healthy he is and where his head is at when he fights in Bellator. TNA can wind up looking like a big joke when this whole thing is said and done.
Seven, could this money be better spent elsewhere? There is a former WWE wrestler out there on the sidelines who was pretty darn good when he had the opportunity to shine and his name is John Morrison. I don’t know what the situation is between him and TNA but over the long run I can’t help but think an investment in Morrison would better benefit the company than investing in a part-time MMA fighter who has barely wrestled.
The only people this deal makes sense for is Spike TV and Bellator. Both companies will keep Mo on television weekly up until he gets cleared to fight. I think there is a much better chance of getting a pro wrestling fan who sees Mo to tune in to watch him fight in MMA than getting any MMA fan who doesn’t like pro wrestling to all of the sudden care about watching Mo wrestle in TNA. This deal keeps Mo busy in the interim keeping him away from signing with any other MMA company. For Spike and Bellator it is a win-win. When only two are benefiting in a three-way deal someone is getting suckered and in this case I think we know who that is.
Could this thing work out for TNA? Honestly I have never seen anything work out for TNA in the ten year history of their company. They have tried everything from using MMA fighters (Tito Ortiz, Ken Shamrock) to using mainstream celebrities (Jersey Shore, Survivor stars), to bringing in legendary pro wrestlers (Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair) and nothing and I mean nothing has made a difference in pay per view buyrates or television ratings over the long haul. I can’t imagine that King Mo will be that guy.
Welcome to the 5-10-12 edition of Impact Wrestling. I really need to find a new way to start these things, don’t I?
Show starts off with footage from last week, as Bobby Roode laid out Mr. Anderson, RVD and Jeff Hardy with a chair. This segues into the Impact Zone, where Bobby Roode is making his way down to the ring. This coming Sunday, Roode will defend the World Championship against RVD. If TNA is smart, Roode will retain the title and continue being one of the better champions they’ve had in a long time. Of course, this is TNA, so RVD will probably win. Roode asks if there’s anything more he can do to prove to the fans he’s the best champion in the history of the company, as well as the most dominant. Last week, not only did he defeat and embarrass Mr. Anderson, but he also took Mr. Anderson out. Not only that, but he took out Jeff Hardy. And, he took out RVD as well. One man, one athlete, one champion, taking out three men all at the same time. Sometimes, he amazes himself on how great of a champion he is. Speaking of great things, he has great news for everyone. In fourteen days, Bobby Roode goes down in history, as he will become the longest-reigning World Champion in the history of TNA. Longer than AJ, Hardy, Angle, Sting, no one has held the title longer than him (again, I can see RVD winning here, unfortunately). In three days, when RVD gets in the ring with the IT Factor of professional wrestling. If RVD thinks he’ll outwrestle Roode and take the belt, he’s sadly mistaken. There is absolutely no one and nothing that will stop his World title domination.
RVD decides it’s time to earn his paycheck for the week and comes down to chase Roode off. As RVD is standing in the ring with the belt, Mr. Anderson comes down from behind and attacks Roode like a coward. The faces then double-team Roode, and this leads to Jeff Hardy coming down for a triple-team. Hardy and Anderson then start fighting each other as referees and the Elite Beat Agents (Snow, D-Lo and Kenney) come down to break things up. Hulk Hogan’s music hits, and he stops at the stage. He says he likes what he’s seeing. By the looks of things, Hardy and Anderson both want a piece of Roode, as well as each other. RVD, are you sending Hogan a message you want a piece of Roode right now? That’s the way it looks. Hogan’s got a main event tonight that will “flip-flop” this whole company. He needs to talk to RVD about it, because if RVD agrees, Hogan will set up a fatal 4-way tonight where each person has both something to gain and lose. If Hardy or Anderson win, they take RVD’s spot at the PPV. If Roode wins, he can pick whoever he wants to face of the three at Sacrifice. If RVD agrees to the match and wins, he can make the PPV match feature any stipulation he wants. Is RVD willing to make the Sacrifice, brother? RVD nods in agreement, and now the PPV match that TNA has surprisingly been promoting for the last couple of weeks will potentially become typical TNA booking in that it gets changed at the last minute. Brother. Dude. Jack. Pythons.
We see Bully Ray talking to Anonymous Interviewer in the back about Austin Aries. He makes fun of Aries for being 5’8”, and 175 lbs. “on a good day, soaking wet, with a brick in his pocket”, and he’s also been the biggest “thawn in my side in the six yeahs I been heah”. Love how Ray slips in and out of his accent. Austin Aries, last week, you made a lot of disparaging comments towards him. You want to make fun of him, talk down to him, raise your voice to him? He’s sick and tired of Aries bullying him around. He’s not going to let it happen anymore. The whole locker room is talking about Aries. He’s the real problem, and Ray isn’t going to stand for it any longer. He’s going to take care of this little problem. Watch what he’s about to do. He doesn’t push people around; he takes them down and puts them out. Stay tuned.
Later tonight, we will hear from James Storm for the very first time in a couple weeks. Also, the final confrontation between Crimson and Matt Morgan. Up next, it’s Workrate vs. Anonymous Brooke.
In the ladies’ locker room area, we see Gail Kim and Madison Rayne talking. Kim is talking about how Tessy has been lucky lately, but she can’t beat Kim when the title’s on the line. Rayne asks her what she thinks of Rayne’s shirt. “It’s fine. It’s shiny.” Everyone talks about how beautiful Tessy is and how great her body is; she’s Photoshopped. Kim doesn’t need all of that. Rayne asks her about her underwear for the evening. Kim says they’re fine before asking what’s up with Rayne. Rayne says it’s a guy, but she doesn’t want to talk about it. Kim leaves to watch the next match.
MATCH 1: Velvet Sky vs. Brooke Tessmacher
I really hate the way TNA does the WCW thing where they briefly film the wrestler coming out before zooming in the big screen or company logo. Tie-up to start, with Sky backing Brooke into the corner. Sky shakes her butt off the clean break. Brooke then does the same thing, jiggling her butt. Sky goes into a side headlock, and lands a shoulder off the ropes for 1. Arm wringer by Sky into a corner whip. Sky hits a running forearm in the corner and looks for a bulldog, but Brooke shoves her off into the opposite corner. Brooke runs in and lands a monkey flip, sending Sky into the other corner. Brooke goes up for mounted punches, and Sky shoves her off for 2. Sky does her stupid kick/chop combo, but runs into a Dropsh*t, sending her into the corner. Brooke does a hip bump, followed by a stinkface. Sky climbs back up and sidesteps a charge, landing a bulldog for 2. Sky sends Brooke into the corner, then kicks her in the gut a few times. Sky with her stupid knees to the face, followed by a snapmare and seated dropkick for 2. She goes to pick Brooke up, and Brooke snags her in a small package for 2. Sky sets up for In Yo Face, but Brooke backs her into the corner, breaking the hold. Brooke drop-toe holds her into the corner, then botches her finisher, which I am calling the Brooke Shield until she gives it a name. Brooke goes for the pin and gets the 3.
WINNER: Anonymous Brooke. Gail Kim runs into the ring and attacks from behind after the match. Kim nails Eat Defeat on Brooke before talking some trash.
Still to come, we apparently get footage of James Storm feeding horses and playing in dirt.
Up next, a match rivaling Ed “Strangler” Lewis vs. Lou Thesz as Crimson takes on Matt Morgan.
Anonymous Interviewer stops AJ Styles when he enters the building to ask obvious questions about Kazarian and Christopher Daniels. Styles says he has Kurt Angle in three days, and that’s who he’s focused on, and nothing else. As far as this secret goes, no comment.
Jeff Hardy is talking to AI #2. The Selfish Generation is coming to end, and thanks to the main event tonight, he gets a chance to be the one to end it.
MATCH 2: Crimson vs. Matt Morgan
As Morgan makes his way out, he is attacked by Bully Ray from behind. Ray takes his chain out before kicking Morgan in the stomach. Ray then screams at Christy Hemme and SoCal Val before grabbing a chair. Morgan pulls himself up on the ring post, and Ray smacks the ring post, completely missing Morgan in every way possible. Morgan still sells it like he got hurt, though. He then turns to the camera and tells Austin Aries that will be him. Morgan has smeared some corn syrup on his head to make it look like he’s busted open. Either that, or he did a very, very obvious blade job, because Ray wasn’t even close to making contact. The Elite Beat Agents make their way out to try and stop this, but Ray yells at them.
WINNER: No contest. Morgan is pretending to twitch as the medics check on him. They’re missing their white masks and matching tights, though, which makes it totally obvious they’re fakes.
Back from the break, we see that Morgan was loaded on a stretcher when the cameras were off. Ray still hung around on the map, watching as Morgan was being wheeled away, still pretending to shake.
Crimson is still in the ring, saying what just happened was unfortunate. What else is unfortunate is that week after week, Morgan would continue to yell that he was going to be the man to end Crimson’s undefeated streak. Delusion is a scary thing, and he knows it (he should, since he thinks he’s a star). He’s feeling very gracious and benevolent tonight. How about the referee give Morgan another chance to come down here and fight tonight. Give him a count of ten, and let him try to answer the count. The referee rings the bell, so I guess this is officially a match now.
MATCH 2, Part 2: Crimson vs. Matt Morgan
The referee counts down to 10, so Crimson wins by count-out.
WINNER: Crimson. By far, his best performance ever. Crimson says what happened was sad, but also predictable. He calls Morgan an underachiever and that his career is a disappointment. Can’t say I disagree with that part.
We get a video package for RVD, talking about how rough he had things and blah, blah, blah. I really don’t care.
Up next, Austin Aries actually gets to defend the World X-Division title. Huzzah! Another Festivus miracle!
Make sure you vote for James Storm’s “music video” on some country music site! Or don’t, as it doesn’t matter.
MATCH 3-World X-Division Championship: Zema Ion vs. Champion Austin Aries
I was wondering if Ion still worked here. Let’s see if he can end another career with a botched moonsault tonight. Tie-up to start, with Aries backing Ion into the corner. Ion uses some hairspray on his head. Criss-cross sequence ends with Aries breaking a headscissors and landing a dropkick, sending Ion to the floor. Aries goes up top for a dive, but Ion moves out of the way, sending Aries into the guardrail. Ion botches a running somersault plancha to the floor. Back in the ring, Ion lands some kind of stupid kick for 2, followed by some stomps for another 2. Aries fights back from his knees. Ion responds with a thumb to the eyes and lands his back suplex into a facebreaker for 2. Bodyslam by Ion, and he goes for a running middle rope moonsault, which Aries blocks with his knees. Aries with some forearm shots and elbows to the top of the head. Aries sends Ion into the turnbuckles chest-first and lands a rolling elbow. Aries clotheslines Ion offer the top to the floor, then follows up with a suicide dive. Ion gets back in the ring, where he receives a hotshot and a very theatrical splash by Aries for 2. Aries goes up to the top, where Ion blocks him. Ion goes up for the hurricanrana, but Aries holds on, sending Ion back to the mat. Aries lands a missile dropkick, sending Ion to the opposite corner. Aries lands a running dropkick in the corner and follows up with a vicious brainbuster for the 3.
WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: Austin Aries. Aries has easily one of the top three best brainbusters I’ve ever seen.
We see Kazarian and Christopher Daniels in the back. Daniels says Styles isn’t their friend. As far as their jobs go, they are on solid ground, so it’s time to go out there and show the world what they’ve got.
Back from the break, we see the footage of what opened the show, which, for those of you keeping score, happened less than an hour. Guess TNA thinks their fans all have ADD.
We get another interview with RVD. Typical “I know I can beat these guys…I do things my way” crap that he’s been doing for years. He then makes a veiled remark about winning Money in the Bank a few years ago.
Video package for the Kazarian/Daniels/Styles feud. I love Daniels and Styles, but this feud is so stupid and obnoxious. It doesn’t help that Kaz is factored in, who is worthless. Back in the ring, Daniels and Kaz are there, and Daniels has a microphone. He calls the crowd “sad clowns”. Last week, he gave Styles an ultimatum, to come out here and reveal his secret, or Daniels would do it for him. He hasn’t heard from Styles in the last seven days, but he’s going to give Styles one more chance. AJ, come out here and set the record straight. Styles doesn’t show up after a few seconds, so Daniels says he hates to do this, but as the new face of the company, he thinks the fans deserve to know the truth about their boy. Styles’ music finally hits and he makes his way to the ring. Styles stops at ringside. He tells the heels he doesn’t know what they think they have over him, but it needs to stop now. Why? Because these two are about to make the biggest mistake of their lives. Kaz says Styles made the mistake. He was trying to protect Styles, but then he looked at all of Styles’ accomplishments compared to theirs, and then began to ask himself why he’s protecting Styles. Styles made a mistake, and this is the proof. Kaz opens an envelope and shows a picture to Styles. It’s a photo of Styles and Dixie Carter standing together, talking. Styles doesn’t get what the big deal is. Daniels says he has more pictures. The next picture is Daniels holding Carter’s face in his hands. Daniels says this looks more touchy-feely. What could they be talking about that Styles would put his hands on the president of the company? Styles is speechless. Daniels then reveals another picture, and it’s Styles kissing her on the neck, hugging her close to him. Daniels says that, since day one, Styles has been the poster boy of this company. When he looks at these photos, well, as the old saying goes, a picture is worth a thousand words. Daniels leaves the ring, followed by Kaz, who drops the photos at Styles’ feet.
After the commercial, you get to see what you just saw one more time.
MATCH 4-World Television Championship: Robbie E (w/Robbie T) vs. Champion Devon
Why do I feel like this match has happened repeatedly over the last few weeks or so? What’s that? Oh. My sources are telling me it feels that way because it’s true. Devon charges the ring and begins attacking both guys. T gets clotheslined out of the ring as the match officially starts. Devon pounds E in the corner. Thesz Press off the ropes, followed by some punches and a jumping headbutt. T trips Devon off the ropes and drags him to the floor. Devon slams his head into the steps. E tries to attack from behind, but Devon sees him coming and clotheslines him (Tenay: “Knockout punch!”). Back in the ring, Devon hits the standing spinebuster and gets the 3.
WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: Devon. After the match, Robbie T runs in and slams Devon into the turnbuckle. He then follows up with an over-the-shoulder powerslam that has Davey Boy Smith spinning over in his grave. Robbie E then holds up the belt over his head.
Footage from last month when we saw James Storm the last time. This leads into a video package for James Storm, saying he needs to take time for himself right now. He’s on his ranch, showing us how he does his chores. It’s pretty much what you’d expect, as Storm is playing up the angle, droning on about self-doubt and that kind of thing.
Mike Tenay hypes tonight’s 4-way match, completely ignoring that Mr. Anderson and Jeff Hardy are in it, only talking about what will happen if RVD or Roode wins, which pretty much gives away that either Roode or RVD are winning this one. Genius work there, “Professor”.
Joseph Abyss is in the back, asking a stagehand which direction the ring is, as apparently he’s headed that way.
Devon is in the back, yelling at Anonymous Interviewer. It’s never been a fair fight since he won the title, as those two jacka**es (E.T.) are always in his face. If they want a fight, they got one. At Sacrifice, he wants both of them, and the outcome will still be the same. He’ll spinebuster both their a**es. Oh, his brother! Testify.
Video package for this whole stupid Abyss angle. The whole thing with Styles is stupid, but this thing with Abyss is approximately 812 times worse. Joseph Abyss makes his way out, pretending to be really excited by all of this. Love how they’ve added he’s a “renowned lawyer” in Chicago. Abyss is trying to talk to the crowd, but forgets to grab a microphone. The morons in the crowd chant “Where’s Abyss?” Abyss finally gets his microphone. Over the last few months, he’s watched a ton of his own matches in this building, and he tore this place down to the ground. Fun, wasn’t it? Abyss would like to thank Hogan for allowing him to come out here. We’ll have to bear with him, as he’s not used to speaking to large crowds. Everyone knows why he’s here-he’s looking for himself. You know, Abyss? Over his investigation, every clue he received, every lead he followed, every interview he did, there was one common thread: Bully Ray. He told Ray last week he wasn’t going away until he gets answer about where is himself. On his way in tonight, he saw a sign for Sacrifice this Sunday. He might just buy a ticket to that thing and sit with the fans to watch it.
Bully Ray’s music hits, and he comes out, already screaming into a microphone. Ray says he’s tired of hearing this crap. This is a load of crap. There’s something not right with Abyss and himself. Something’s not right. Does this look like a courtroom to you? Does this look like a cauwtroom to you? No, it’s not a courtroom, stupid! It’s a wrestling ring, and you have no business being in a wrestling ring or wrestling arena? Did Abyss see what he did to Matt Morgan? How would he feel if Ray did that to him? Aybss says Ray is right; he’s everything he says he is. It got Abyss thinking, though, back to the night when he disappeared. That night, Abyss had a match with Ray, and beat him. Table that for a second. Two weeks ago, Ray’s former partner of 20 years who Ray claims to have carried (Devon, for those of you keeping score), called Ray down to the ring, and then beat him. Abyss says to table that as well. God, Abyss is a horrible actor. Let’s go back to last week when Ray was invited down to the ring by Austin Aries, a man with incredible talent but half Ray’s size. Aries beat Ray down then. How is that bullying thing working out for Ray? In response to this, Ray knocks Abyss down to the mat before saying, “That’s how it’s working out for me.” Abyss then begins to laugh as Ray leaves the ring.
Mr. Anderson is in the back, talking obnoxiously about his match tonight. He’s scheduled to face Jeff Hardy at Sacrifice, but if he wins tonight, Hardy steps aside, and “I’m taking my title back, BUDDY! *whispers* My title. My title.”
King Mo has signed with TNA. So, he finally usurped Mabel and is now getting his time in the spotlight.
We get Slammiversary moment #9, which is footage of Hogan’s debut with the company. Only problem? This didn’t happen at Slammiversary, and in fact happened on an episode of Impact.
Kurt Angle is talking to Anonymous Interviewer about AJ Styles. Angle calls Styles a good guy, and he needs to focus on the task at hand, which is getting crippled by Angle at Sacrifice. When his bones are mending, he can focus on these allegations.
Mike Tenay and Taz runs down the card for Sacrifice, which has apparently added Samoa Joe and Magnus defending the tag belts against Kazarian and Christopher Daniels, as well as Bully Ray vs. Austin Aries. You know, I expected these matches to happen, but TNA could have possibly announced them a little earlier in order to get people to start talking about them and get interested in them.
Another RVD video. I’m beginning to hate him.
MATCH 4-Fatal 4-Way Match to Potentially and Needlessly Change the Sacrifice Card: Rob Van Dam vs. Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy vs. World Champion Bobby Roode (non-title)
Thankfully, Anderbotch skips his stupid self-introduction. Match starts with the three faces taking turns attacking Roode in the corner. Anderson shoves the other two off and begins choking Roode with his foot. RVD shoves him off and lays in some punches on Roode. Hardy and Anderson are trading blows now. Roode fights back on Hardy and Anderson. He sends both Anderson and RVD to the floor before throwing Hardy into the corner. Roode with some punches and a corner whip. Hardy gets his elbow up and goes for Whisper in the Wind, but Roode sidesteps it, sending Hardy’s stupid ass crashing to the mat. Roode goes for the pin, but only gets 2. Commercials.
Back from the break, Roode drops Hardy with a suplex. Hardy moves out of the way from a jumping knee drop, hits an inverted atomic drop, a double legdrop and seated dropkick for 2. RVD tries to get back in the ring, but Hardy kicks him down. Hardy goes for a dive off the apron, but RVD moves, sending Hardy into the guardrail. Back in the ring, Anderson tries for a pin on Roode, but only gets 2. Roode whips Anderson in the corner, but Anderson fires back with a clothesline. Roode tries for the Payoff off the ropes, but Anderson reverses into a swinging neckbreaker for 2. RVD breaks the pin up, and Anderson hits him with a knee lift. RVD gets a high kick out of the corner and lands the split-legged moonsault for 2. Anderson reverses a corner whip. RVD elbows off the charge and hits a thrust kick off the middle rope. He goes for the Rolling Thunder, but he’s intercepted by Roode, who lands a spinebuster for 2. Roode stomps away on RVD. RVD comes back with a botched superkick, sending Roode to the corner. RVD lands a roundhouse in the corner before trying a monkey flip on Hardy, who blocks it and botches Whisper in the Wind for 2. RVD hits the step-over roundhouse and Rolling Thunder. Roode quickly comes in and throws RVD out. Roode goes for the Payoff on Hardy, who counters it into a sit-out Twist of Fate. Anderson comes in and drops Roode with the Mic Check before tackling Hardy through the ropes to the floor. RVD climbs up top, hits the Five-Star Frog Splash and gets the 3. WINNER: Rob Van Dam. Gee, who didn’t see that coming, especially since he already announced the stipulation he wants for the match on Sunday (a ladder match, BTW) earlier in the show. RVD goes under the ring and pulls out the ladder that just happens to be there. He then climbs up and taunts Roode from the top. Meanwhile, Anderson and Hardy are yelling at each other. We see fireworks go off, and Abyss makes his way out. Only this time, he’s actually dressed like Abyss and not Joe. Abyss sends a message to himself, Joseph. Joseph is getting to close to the fire. Back off before you get burned. Abyss’ music is more generic than ever.
End of show.
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Thanks for reading, and as long as Spike TV still fronts the bill, I’ll see you next week.
Welcome to the 5-3-12 edition of Impact Wrestling! The opening video is of the farce of a “celebration” for Eric Bischoff last week that was nothing more than yet another sad attempt to get Garett Bischoff over with the fans. Guess what? Not happening. Oh, and is it just me, or did SoCal Val look like she’s packed on quite a bit of weight?
We immediately cut to the Impact Zone, where Ric Flair is in the ring. He says that Hogan always plays with him, and that Hogan thinks Flair is his pawn. He thinks Flair will always be under his thumb. Flair’s not buying it, and he doesn’t have to. Why? Because he’s “Ric G-O-D Flair”. In our world, he’s just plain “God”. Last week, Hogan and Garett ran one of the biggest names in history out of the business. Of course, he’s talking about Eric Bischoff. Flair wants to talk to Hogan tonight in the ring tonight because he’s pissed off. He mentions how expensive all of his clothes are, saying his Sears clearance special shirt cost him $2000.
Hogan’s fake now music hits, and he’s making his way out, microphone in hand. Go figure. Remember when this would be a great way to open a wrestling show 17 years ago? Flair calls this “good vs. evil”, with Hogan being good, beyond a shadow of a doubt. But, Flair is “the baddest man in the planet”. He’s tired of Hogan running roughshod over him. What does he have to do? Take Dixie Carter back to Hard Rock? Huh? Anyway, Hogan says he’s not here to fight him. Flair knows that; Hogan’s here to boss him around. Hogan says that, as GM, he’s making it a priority to “step the game up” in Impact Wrestling. When Flair talks about evil, he should have said Eric Bischoff. Eric spread a lot of evil, even to his own son, brother. Hogan’s taking his new GM position very seriously, even hanging his boots up in the process. There’s a chance to make Impact Wrestling one of the longest-running promotions out there. In passing, Flair does work for Hogan, and since Hogan is his boss, he’s going to ask Flair for something; he wants Flair to be a judge for “Gut Check”. With Ric Flair in the lead position with the judges, “we all have a chance to live forever”. We have a chance to live through the new talent, telling them when to stay down or get back up. Hogan is asking Flair to do something for the fans with this. He wants Flair to help shape the future of the business with this job. He doesn’t have to respect Hogan here; he just needs to be “The Nature Boy”. Flair says it doesn’t matter what his response is, because Hogan will tell him he has to do it anyway. Flair says he loves the kids, and as a result, will agree to the position.
Later tonight, RVD and Bobby Roode will choose opponents for each other tonight. Up next, Velvet Sky and Brooke Tessmacher take on Gail Kim and Madison Rayne.
We see Velvet Sky and Brooke Tessmacher in the back with Anonymous Interviewer. She calls Gail Kim a cheater, cheating to beat Sky at every time. But, at the right circumstances at the right time, Sky will beat her. Tessy then says she’s beaten Kim twice, and she’ll do it a third time tonight. Sky says one of them will beat Kim for the title.
MATCH 1: Knockouts Champion Gail Kim and Madison Rayne vs. Brooke Tessmacher and Velvet Sky
I love how TNA turns the blue lights up on the stage so much that you can barely see who’s coming out. Tessy and Workrate might be nice to look at, but it’s a serious test of patience listening to them talk. Is it a requirement for all Knockouts to be obnoxious on a microphone? For whatever reason, Earl Hebner starts patting the faces down, which allows the heels to attack from behind. Kim and Sky are now in the ring, and Kim dominates with punches and kicks. Sky hits a clothesline, followed by a pair of dumbass facebreakers and a bulldog. Swinging headscissors by Sky, but Kim attacks from behind off a distraction by Rayne. Rayne tags in and goes to work on Sky in the corner. Kim tags back in. Double corner whip, followed by a pair of partner whips. Kim pulls Sky down by the hair as she’s on the apron. She gets back in and knocks Tessy off the apron. Rayne tags in, and Kim hits a leg stunner, followed by a botched jumping side kick by Rayne for 2. Rayne locks in the Taco Twister before knocking Tessy off the aprong yet again. Sky fights back with kicks and chops, but Rayne rakes the eyes. Kim tags back in and kicks Sky in the ribs, followed by a running clothesline for 2. Kim sets Sky up on the top turnbuckle and looks for a super hurricanrana, but Sky holds the ropes and follows up with a “bulldog-style faceplant”, according to Tenay’s stupid ass. Tessy tags in and hits a couple of clotheslines, a Dropsh*t and a hurricanrana. She looks for her finisher, but Kim blocks it and lands a clothesline. Kim sets up for Eat Defeat, but Tessy blocks it and shoves Kim into the corner. Rayne comes in, but she’s speared by Sky, sending them both to the floor. Kim blocks a kick from Tessy and taunts her. Tessy goes for a punch, and Kim blocks that as well. Tessy turns the blocks into her own version of Eat Defeat, scoring the 3.
WINNERS: Velvet Sky and Brooke Tessmacher. During this match, Mike Tenay could not stop talking about Alex Silva’s “amazing” performance last week, and how there’s so much buzz about him. Obviously, he and I were watching two entirely different matches.
In preparation for Slammiversary 10, we see moments from TNA’s first anniversary show, which saw Jeff Jarrett retain the NWA World title against Raven.
Back in the Impact Zone, RVD is in the ring. He’s talking about how people have been entertained by him for years. He doesn’t have to tell us how great he is, but he’ll do it anyway because he can. He’s Rob Van Dam, the Whole F’n Show. He’s one of a kind, often imitated, never intimidated (his words). Mr. Pay-Per-View. He’s also the man who’s going to beat Bobby Roode and become the next champion. He doesn’t have to tell us he never lost the title in the first place. He knows what he brings to the table-he’s R-V-D. Boy, that was about as cliché of a Van Dam interview as it gets.
Bobby Roode makes his way onto the stage. He was sitting in the back trying to mind his own business, but he couldn’t help but hear how overconfident RVD has been. He knows RVD’s head is in the clouds 99.9% of the time, and he was on hiatus for a while, so let him remind RVD who he is-he is Bobby Roode, the World Champion, the IT Factor and the leader of the Selfish Generation. He’s not just any champion; he’s the most dominant World Champion in the history of the company. He’s done that by beating guys like AJ Styles, Jeff Hardy, Sting and James Storm, just to name a few. At Sacrifice, RVD’s name will be added to that list. As for tonight, the GM has made a plan for tonight. Hogan is allowing RVD to choose Roode’s opponent, and vice-versa. He’s going to give RVD the chance to announce his choice first. RVD says he’s got a guy Roode knows very well, and a guy Roode hit over the head with a beer bottle last month-Mr. Anderson. Roode says that great, and he’s got someone in mind for RVD, a close friend. As you would expect, Roode announces Jeff Hardy as RVD’s opponent. Aside from a pointless “You are garbage” chant at Roode during this segment, the crowd was completely dead for the whole thing.
MATCH 2-World Television Championship: Robbie T (w/Robbie E) vs. Devon
Well, this match has “workrate” written all over it. T starts attacking Devon in the corner, hitting him with a knee to the gut before throwing him to the opposite corner. T hits a short-arm clothesline. Devon fights back with punches, but T cuts him off with a back elbow. I’ve just realized something-both Robbie T and Mason Ryan are Welshmen, both are huge, and both suck something fierce. Is the best Wales can offer pro wrestling? T hits an over-the-shoulder powerslam, but only gets 2. T charges to the corner, but Devon hits a back elbow and a pair of shoulderblocks. He hits a flying shoulderblock, sending T into the corner. Avalanche in the corner, which leads to another flying shoulderblock. Devon climbs to the top rope, hitting the headbutt. His family is dead now. The headbutt only gets 2. Robbie E jumps on the apron, but Devon just hip tosses him in. Devon manages to hit a spear off the ropes, but turns around into a shot to the head with a clipboard by Robbie E.
WINNER VIA DISQUALIFICATION, AND STILL CHAMPION: Devon. Robbie E then stands over Devon after the match, holding the belt up.
We see Al Snow and Ric Flair talking in the back. They’re talking about being “Gut Check” judges, before Al Snow introduces the third judge, Bruce Pritchard.
After the break, we see “highlights” from the “Gut Check” last week, which saw Alex Silva get his ass handed to him by Robbie E. We then cut away to the judges discussing the match. Flair says, “You can’t make chicken salad out of chicken sh*t”, then calls the kid a twig and says he’ll never be World Champion. Agreed on all fronts. Snow says we’re looking at future potential, not right now. Flair says Silva doesn’t have the potential. Pritchard says he’s seen Silva many other times, and this wasn’t his best outing. Flair says he’s not big enough, and he’ll never get ratings. Pritchard mentions the X-Division, and Flair doesn’t even see X-Division in him. Pritchard points out that not everyone believed in Flair in his earliest days. Snow makes up some crap about how he tested positive with fans, saying 63% of Twitter responses were positive. Flair says the fans don’t run the business. Funny, but I’m pretty sure the business wouldn’t exist without the fans. Just a thought. Pritchard does point this out. Flair says he respects the fans, but doesn’t respect their opinions. I’m not even going to begin to dissect that one. They continue to rattle on about Silva, saying they need 2 votes to get him on the roster, and Snow tells Flair not to make his final vote just yet.
Back from the break, we see Hulk Hogan and Mr. Anderson talking in the back. Hogan is informing Anderson his opponent for tonight is Roode. Anderson is stupidly chewing on a spoon. Hogan says Anderson is the number one guy, and deserves the number one spot. He then makes his match with Roode tonight No Disqualification. They then share Anderson’s catchphrase as I choke on my own bile.
MATCH 3: Jeff Hardy vs. Rob Van Dam
Match starts with a side headlock by Hardy. RVD reverses into a top wristlock, turning it into a leg scissors for a 1-count. Hardy counters out with an arm drag. RVD goes into a waistlock, which Hardy reverses. RVD reverses, but Hardy counters with a back elbow and a reverse enziguri, sending RVD to the floor. Hardy knocks him down with a dropkick through the ropes before landing a clothesline off the apron. Hardy throws RVD back in for a pin, but only gets 2. RVD throws som punches. Hardy counters a monkey flip with a double legdrop pin for 2. RVD reverses a corner whip and lands a monkey flip out of the corner. RVD nails a roundhouse in the corner. Hardy comes back with Whisper in the Wind for 2. RVD hits a jawbreaker and a roundhouse thrust kick. RVD goes for Rolling Thunder, but Hardy gets his knees up. Bobby Roode makes his way down, belt in hand. Roode has a brand new Affliction knock-off t-shirt. It’s TNA. What do you expect: Roode cracks Hardy across the back with the belt as the referee tries to dive out of the way of an Irish whip. Roode wanted to hit RVD, but RVD countered, causing Roode to nail Hardy. RVD lands a superkick and gets the 3.
WINNER: Rob Van Dam.
We see Bully Ray walking in the back. He’s stopped by Joseph Abyss, who had just been on the phone. Abyss says Ray didn’t get answers last week. Ray says he still won’t get any this week. Abyss knows Ray had something to do with the disappearance of himself, and he’s going to prove it. Ray shoves him, telling him to back off. Ray says Abyss knows exactly what he does to guys like Abyss. He tells Abyss to just ask himself about that. Oh, wait; Abyss can’t do that, because Abyss is missing. Ray then tells him to stay out of his way.
As if once wasn’t enough, we then see the Garett/Eric angle from last week once again.
Jeremy Borash is talking to Anonymous Interviewer, saying a bunch of stupid stuff about Eric Bischoff. I hate listening to this bloated waste of space. Ray cuts him off. He wants to hear everything Borash has to say. He wants to hear about how Borash took care of Eric last week. Ray then grabs him by the collar and drags him to out to the ring, saying they’re going to discuss it in front of everyone. Ray just loudmouths a bunch of crap before telling Borash to get on his knees. He then grabs a microphone (as if he needs one) before shoving Borash into the ring. Ray asks if Borash forgot what he did last week. You bowing up to me? You bowing up to me? Ray is sick of hearing about “anti-bullying”. They should start a new campaign: The “Stop being a little b*tch and stick up for yourself” campaign. Borash is the poster boy for all the little b*tches guys like Ray take advantage of. He asks Borash if he’d like to punch Ray in the face. The crowd stupidly cheers for this. Ray walks all over guys like Borash because he can.
Austin Aries’ music hits, and he makes his way out. He makes fun of Ray’s “Do you know who I am?” line. We know who Ray is-the guy who picks on lawyers. Ray tells him not to step in the ring. Aries steps into the ring. He only cares about him and Ray. Ray called him out, and when he did that, he did so in regards to the only thing he could-Aries’ size. Aries believes Ray has taken bigger craps than him, and eaten bigger chicken wings than him, because, in case Ray forgot, he spent most of his career as “Blubber Ray”, a big, fat, pasty poster boy for all-you-can eat buffets and type 2 diabetes. Thank you, Austin Aries. Yet another reason why you’re great. Ray slaps the mic out of his hand and says that playtime is over. He shoves Aries and continues to mouth off, saying Aries will now have to stand up for himself. But he won’t, because at the end of the day, he’s the champion, and he represents small, insignificant men. Ray isn’t all talk; Aries is. Ray then spits in his face. As Ray continues to run his fat mouth, Aries finally snaps. He decks him a bunch of times, beating Ray down in the corner. He begins kneeing Ray in the head as “security” comes in to break things up. They pull Aries back, and Ray kicks him in the nuts. On the plus side, Aries split Ray’s lip open in the process. Ray leaves the ring and moos like a cow. No, really. He did.
We see Christopher Daniels and Kazarian in the back. Kaz is talking about how they didn’t get their title match last week. Kurt Angle is also back here. Daniels talks about winning the tag titles and humiliating AJ Styles. Angle tells them to shut up, and the only thing he cares about is making Styles tap out tonight and at Sacrifice. Kaz makes some stupid joke about ostrich jerky.
James Storm is debuting his “music video” on CMT.com. Who in the hell cares? Storm will be back next week to talk some more, which is about all he’s been doing lately.
We see Bobby Roode in the back, in some weirdly-lit area. He’s complaining about Hulk Hogan’s added stipulation for tonight. He should call Sting and find out where he’s at, because he was the last authority figure in the company, and Roode took care of him. And if RVD thinks he’s taking the belt, he’s got another thing coming.
MATCH 4-Six-Man Tag Team Match: Kurt Angle, Christopher Daniels and Kazarian vs. World Tag Team Champions Magnus & Samoa Joe, and AJ Styles
Have you ever noticed that Angle has feuds in both major companies over a necklace? Random thought for you. The faces charge the ring, with the champs cleaning house on Daniels and Kaz. Styles and Angle start off with some chain wrestling, followed by trading blows. Angle hits a European uppercut, but runs into a dropkick by Styles off the ropes. Angle reverses a suplex attempt with a punch. Daniels comes in and knocks Styles down. Angle gets mad and tells him to get back out of the ring. Meanwhile, Joe has tagged in, and he nails Angle with a bunch of rights. Magnus tags in, and they hit their inverted atomic drop/big boot/running senton combo for 2. Magnus gets Angle in the corner and lands an uppercut. Daniels nails Magnus with a hotshot, allowing Angle to clothesline Magnus down. Daniels and Kaz are asking for a tag, but Angle is refusing. He lands a European uppercut on Magnus before going into a rear chinlock. Magnus fights out with elbows, but telegraphs a back body drop. Magnus still manages to connect with a misdirection clothesline before tagging in Styles. Kaz tags in (at least, according to Taz. I never saw a tag), who eats a roundhouse and a fireman’s carry into a neckbreaker. He looks for the Styles Clash on Angle, but Daniels nails Styles with a Ghetto Blaster. Joe comes in and chops Daniels across the chest. Magnus blocks a corner whip, allowing Joe to back drop Daniels to the floor. He nails Daniels with a suicide dive into a forearm shot. The champs set Daniels up for Styles, but Angle trips Styles up and goes into the ankle lock. Apparently, I was right, and Angle is still legal. Kaz tags himself in as Daniels and Angle begin to argue. Joe charges at Daniels from behind, sending both him and Angle to the floor. Kaz sets up the Fade to Black on Styles, but Magnus boots him right in the chest. Styles rolls through into a Styles Clash, and connects for the 3.
WINNERS: Magnus, Samoa Joe and AJ Styles. After the match, Angle begins berating Kaz and Daniels. Angle shoves Daniels before getting in his face. Eventually, he backs off. Daniels grabs a microphone and says he’s going to end this once and for all with AJ Styles next week. Styles has seen the photographs, so either he comes out and tells the world his secret, or Daniels and Kaz will. How much do you want to bet this involves either Daniels or Kaz being the real father of one or all of Styles’ kids?
Up next, we learn what Alex Silva’s future will be. Considering how embarrassing his match was last week, I expect him to get a massive push, winning the tag titles with Garett Bischoff. That sounds like TNA logic to me.
The three “Gut Check” judges are in the ring, and most of the lights have been shut off, I guess to add some unnecessary drama. Al Snow rattles off some cliché stuff before introducing his fellow judges, saying, “joining me alongside Ric Flair and myself” as he introduces Pritchard. He then calls Alex Silva out to the ring. Crowd doesn’t seem all that interested. We then get some overly-dramatic music for no reason. Flair gives his thought, and that’s he likes Silva’s attitude, but he needs to grow some more. Pritchard says last week, Silva came down like he already had a job. Last week probably wasn’t his best outing, but TNA needs talent. True, so why are they looking at this clownshoe? Snow reminds Silva that he needs the vote of 2 of the 3 judges to get a job. Flair gives his vote as Silva “Woos” at him. Flair simply says no. Silva gives him an angrypants look. Boo-hoo. Snow says yes before once again reminding him that he needs two votes, then gives him the microphone and tells him he has 30 seconds to sell himself. Silva addresses each judge by name, then looks up at the ceiling and talks to his apparently dead dad. He rambles on about how he was poor at 13, and became more and more poor…the timer runs out. Flair tells him not to talk to the marks, talk to them. Start over. 30SECONDS!30SECONDS!ISTANDUPFORMYSELFEACHANDEVERYNIGHT! I MOVEDTOTHEUNITEDSTATESFROMCANADAPOORIWANTTOLIVEMYDREAMDADILOVEYOU! Or something like that. Flair then changes his answer to “yes”, and I lose just a bit more respect for “The Man”. Pritchard says his original answer was no based on his performance last week. Last week, his nerves got the best of him. This week, he got a second shot, and his answer is now yes. So. There you go. Silva joins the roster, and will join some illustrious names like Mark Starr, Bunkhouse Buck, Buddy Lee Parker and Tim Horner in regards to his place in wrestling.
God, that went on too long. Still, most anything is better than listening to or watching Mr. Anderson, who refers to himself as the “archetypal asshole” (which remains uncensored, though ass and bitch are still bleeped), despite the fact I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even know the definition of “archetypal”.
MATCH 5-No Disqualification Match: Mr. Anderson vs. World Champion Bobby Roode (non-title)
Anderson meets Roode at ringside, where he begins brawling with Roode, slamming his head into the barricades. Anderson with some punches. Roode blocks a slam into the steps before landing a side-Russian leg sweep into the ring apron. Roode sets up for a piledriver, but Anderson blocks it and turns it into a slingshot into the ringpost. Anderson hits the rolling fireman’s carry slam on the floor as we go to commercials.
Just saw the preview for “That’s My Boy”. Can someone please, please, PLEASE explain to me how Adam Sandler keeps getting work? Oh, wait. He had to open his own production company for himself and his friends because no one else will hire any of them anymore. Never mind.
You know, I just noticed that the ringposts in this promotion are square shaped, which means they have sharp edges. That’s a pretty stupid design when you consider how much more dangerous that could be than the standard round posts. Then again, this is TNA. Anyway, we’re back from the break, and Roode is begging off in the corner from Anderson, who has apparently went back on offense during the break. Roode lands a low blow before stomping Anderson in the nuts. Anderson rolls to the floor, where Roode follows him in order to throw him back in the ring, where he gets a 2-count. Roode stomps Anderson down before taunting the crowd. Roode with a suplex and a jumping knee drop for 2. Anderson fights back from his knees with punches and chops, but runs right into a back elbow off the ropes. Roode goes to the floor and grabs a chair and wedges it in between the top and middle turnbuckles. Roode goes to throw Anderson in, but Anderson reverses, sending Roode in head-first.
Hey, remember when Hogan totally buried Roode in several interviews? Now, he’s doing nothing but sucking up to the guy, saying how badly TNA needs him as champion. Just some information for you. Back to the match, Anderson and Roode are trading blows. Anderson eventually dominates, hits a clothesline, a back elbow and a swinging neckbreaker. Roode ducks a kick, but Anderson keeps spinning and hits a version of the Ghetto Blaster. Anderson looks for the Mic Check, but Roode elbows out. He gets his feet up on a corner charge, in the corner with the chair. Roode knocks the chair down and goes to the top rope. Anderson crotches him and looks for the rolling fireman’s carry again, but Roode shoves him into the ropes, catching him with the spinebuster. Roode sets up for the Payoff on the chair, but Jeff Hardy runs down and lands a reverse enziguri on Roode. He turns around to Anderson, who nails Hardy with the Mic Check. Roode grabs the chair, hits Anderson in the stomach with it before landing a shot to the back, then hits Anderson with the Payoff for the 3.
WINNER: Bobby Roode. After the match, Roode continues the attack with the chair, taking turns on both guys. RVD runs down to chase Roode out of the ring before checking on the other two. As he’s doing so, Roode comes back into the ring and cracks RVD across the back before landing a DDT on the chair.
End of show.
The main event wasn’t much of a No DQ match, outside of a couple chair shots and low blows. Well, at least the 6-man was relatively enjoyable.
As always, feel free to follow me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/XDustinEFLX, and if you like Married…With Children, you can follow my Al Bundy parody account at http://www.twitter.com/bundyisms. Also follow my personal blog at http://nerdslikeme.blogspot.com (feedback is welcome). Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out my mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:
Thanks for reading, and as long as Spike TV still fronts the bill, I’ll see you next week.
WWERAW ratings through the WrestleMania 28 season were way down this season yet WrestleMania 28 appears to have blown away WrestleMania 27. This begs the question as to whether the ratings even matter when it comes to pro wrestling buyrates?
I remember talking about this very subject a week or two before WrestleMania on the Still Real to Us podcast with Jeff Peck. We discussed the ratings and whether or not WrestleMania 28 would be a catastrophic failure. I mentioned to Jeff that it would be interesting to see what the buyrate is and whether or not at the end of the day we all make a fuss over ratings for nothing. It looks like that may be the case.
I went back and did a little detective work over the last hour and took a look at the WWE Monday Night RAW ratings for the five weeks leading into the last two WrestleMania events. The first thing I quickly noticed was how many more viewers the WWE had last year going into WrestleMania as opposed to this year. Yet ironically when all is said and done, the WWE came close to doubling the percent of domestic eyes that paid to see WrestleMania 28 than did last year’s big event. What happened?
I think this is where the WWE and TNA as well have made their biggest mistakes. Both companies spend way too much time watching the ratings and not enough time worrying about the actual percentage of fans that like what they are seeing. The WWE (we’ll stick with them since this is about WrestleMania) reportedly live and die by the ratings. Vince McMahon will change a creative idea that has been in place for months at the drop of a hat if ratings decline. Yet the pattern shown this past winter and spring is that while ratings do matter, they aren’t as important as the WWE brass think.
I went back and took a look at the numbers and here is what I found. I am not going to link every single source, but most of these ratings came from Dave Meltzer’s Wrestling Observer newsletters found on F4Wonline.com.
2011
Raw on 2/28 did a 3.82 rating and 5.61 million viewers.
Raw on 3/7 did a 3.92 rating and 5.78 million viewers.
Raw on 3/14 did a 3.66 rating and 5.68 million viewers.
Raw on 3/21 did a 3.35 rating and 5.13 million viewers.
Raw on 3/28 did a 3.84 rating and 5.89 million viewers.
2012
Raw on 2/27 did a 3.14 rating and 4.64 million viewers.
Raw on 3/5 did a 3.23 rating and 4.61 million viewers.
Raw on 3/12 did a 3.29 rating and 4.84 million viewers.
Raw on 3/19 did a 3.10 rating and 4.38 million viewers.
Raw on 3/26 did a 3.05 rating and 4.44 million viewers.
Now as you can see, RAW was a heck of a lot stronger leading up to WrestleMania 27 than it was for WrestleMania 28. The program didn’t even break five million viewers this year while last year RAW came close to bringing in six million eyes. If I didn’t already set this up you would easily assume that last year’s WrestleMania crushed this year’s in terms of a buyrate. Guess again junior!
Last year’s WrestleMania 27 buyrate came in at around 1,120,000 buys, specifically with 663,000 buys coming domestically. If you do the math, that comes down 2.36% of domestic eyes that watched the RAW shows leading up to the big event felt compelled to buy the show. While 663,000 buys for a show that featured John Cena vs. The Miz is practically a miracle, enticing only 2.36% of your viewers to the buy show is a bit of a letdown.
Now take this year’s early estimates on WrestleMania 28 and compare this to last year’s numbers. Remember, there are no final numbers out yet on WrestleMania 28 so we can only go with an estimate. The show is estimated to draw somewhere in the 1.6 million buy range with 750,000 eyes domestic. In other words, 4.05% of this year’s viewers felt compelled by what they saw to order the show as opposed to 2.36 % last year.
So what happened? I can only guess but my hunch is that last year you had a lot more casual eyes tuning in to see the return of The Rock. These are eyes that haven’t followed the WWE in years and while it was fun to watch The Rock on television, none of those people felt compelled by the totality of the show to pay $50 to watch a show in which The Rock wasn’t even going to wrestle!
This also proves my point about the WWE waiting one year too late to do The Rock vs. Cena. While the company did great business with WrestleMania 28, imagine how big the number would have been last year? I think it is obvious that the WWE lost a big chunk of that audience once The Rock left after WrestleMania 27 and they never came back. I can’t help but think that if you gave those fans the match they wanted that the WWE would have done business with WrestleMania 27 far beyond this year’s number as well as future shows.
This year you had the vast majority of viewers tuning in that already followed the WWE product. The casual fans were done with The Rock, they have moved on, and may have even forgotten about the match announced a year in advance. Additionally the casual eyes you did grab were getting a payoff here of watching The Rock wrestle as opposed to Guest Host at WrestleMania. Another point could be that by now they were familiar with the rest of the WWE stars as opposed to last year when they were watching some of these talents for the first time?
I just hope that the WWE (and TNA) look at these numbers and think twice the next time they want to point fingers or scratch off a good angle that may not have the rating point they hoped to see. It is about good storylines, star talent, and matches that the people want to see. It is easy to hot shot an angle or segment for a ratings boost but will those eyes actually pay to watch your product? I think there is a lesson here for everyone and that is at the end of the day the ratings don’t matter nearly as much as the ones in charge think they do.
Welcome to the 4-26-12 edition of Impact Wrestling. Tonight is the debut of “Open Fight Night”, and if you read my column earlier this week, you know it should just be phenomenal, a smashing success that will last for years to come.
We see some footage at the beginning from OVW, TNA’s “developmental system” that they’ve used to develop approximately zero new stars thus far. Hulk Hogan is in the back, talking to all of the current champions, reminding them again of what exactly this stupid night is about. He refers to Samoa Joe and Magnus as the greatest tag team of all time. Once again, the Knockouts Tag Team Champions are absent, as is Television Champion Devon. He singles out each competitor, complimenting them for various reasons. He tells Joe and Magnus they need to “shut up or put up”. The problem is there are too many teams wanting to challenge the tag champs. He’s going to be listening to a lot of whining and crying about who deserves a spot. That’s why the tag champs need to step it up and prove themselves. Hogan is completely incoherent tonight.
We get a zazzy new video and theme song for “Open Fight Night” to attempt to make it seem much more important than it actually is. Devon is out for the opening match, with Mike Tenay reminding us the TV title will now be defended each week from now on (until someone in the company forgets and they scrap it with no explanation). Devon reminds us of what Hogan said about the company champions last week, then tells us again that his belt must be defended every week. We see some of the locker room looking on in the back as Devon tells us who he is calling out for his title defense tonight. He calls out the guy everybody hates and needs an ass-kicking worse than anyone, Bully Ray.
Bully Ray makes his way out, asking Devon if he’s serious. He calls Devon stupid. What makes Devon think Ray wants to be in a ring with him? They had to be in a ring together for 15 years, and it made Ray sick. For 15 years, Ray carried Devon. He wouldn’t even have the opportunity to be TV Champion if it wasn’t for Ray. Ray won’t get in the ring to make Devon look good, because if they’re in the ring together, that makes Devon a star, and Ray isn’t going to help Devon become a star. Ray says the match won’t happen tonight, and go to hell. As he’s heading back up the ramp, Devon charges after him, taking him down from behind. Devon continues punching Ray until they’re back around the ring, where the bell rings to start the match.
MATCH 1-World Television Championship: Champion Devon vs. Bully Ray
Devon continues decking Ray before hitting him with a bottle of water. That only works for R-Truth. They finally get into the ring, where Ray begs off. Love how neither of these guys will agree to wear normal ring gear. Ray offers a handshake, which Devon accepts and turns into a short-arm clothesline. Devon hits a horrible Thesz Press, then knocks Ray down again with an uppercut. Devon goes up top, but Ray crotches him as we go to commercials.
I’m beginning to think the people behind 5-Hour Energy have never seen how actual people operate in their real day-to-day lives.
Back from the break, Ray drops an elbow. He has a little cut above his left eye. Ray spits a loogie in the air, then catches it in his mouth. Now that’s classy. Ray with a bodyslam and a running splash for 2 before locking in a Trapezius claw. Devon catches Ray with a spear off the ropes. There are bunch of really cool guys in the front row with their faces painted. Ray and Devon trade a bunch of punches before Devon hits a spinning back elbow off the ropes, followed by the Miz’s Reality Check, only in slow-motion. Ray gets his foot up on a corner charge, then nails a clothesline for 2. Ray sets up for the Bully Bomb. Devon counters out, but Ray counters again into the Bubba Cutter for 2. Ray charges out of the corner, but runs right into Devon’s standing spinebuster, which is enough for the 3.
WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: Devon.
Austin Aries is in the back, talking to Anonymous Interviewer about how Bully Ray can’t win a match when he doesn’t cheat. He wants to get his hands on Ray.
Ric Flair is elsewhere in the back, talking to Anonymous Interviewer #2 about his party for Eric Bischoff (which is sans-bleep tonight. See what I mean about TNA forgetting things quickly?). Flair says we are going to “rock and Randall”. I don’t know, either. He just continues to verbally fellate Bischoff before giving out a “Woo”.
We will find out later who Hulk Hogan is picking for the tag champs’ opponents tonight. Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t Hogan picking the opponents for that match pretty much go against everything he talked about in regards to Open Fight Night last week?
In the locker room, we Christopher Daniels and Kazarian walk in on Kurt Angle. Kaz is rambling on about how pathetic AJ Styles is. Angle says he never asked for their help last week, and if they ever get involved in his matches again, they’ll see a side of him they never want to see. Daniels calls Angle and ungrateful ass. Angle hears it, so Daniels plays it off like he’s on the phone. So, Angle’s a face now? Great.
We see wrestlers looking on in the back as Jeremy Borash makes his way out for some reason. Borash reminds us of what night it is. He thanks Hogan for this, as this gives all employees the opportunity to air a grievance or possibly call someone out. He’s not here to call out a wrestler, but he’s here to call out another employee. He’s been here longer than anyone on the current roster, and it’s universally known that there hasn’t been a bigger prick in the last three years to come into the company than Eric Bischoff. If this is going to be Bischoff’s last night here, instead of getting liquored up and demeaning employees on his Facebook page, he’d like to call Bischoff into the ring face-to-face and shove his fist down Bischoff’s throat. So, this is what it’s come to, folks-announcers calling out managers. Because this equals ratings.
Bischoff makes his way down. Honestly, does anyone care about any of this? Borash is about as entertaining or viable as Eric’s worthless son, Garett. The crowd is doing the “Na na na na” chant. Eric takes a picture of Borash. Borash says there needs to be a breathalyzer on Eric’s phone, then asks about apps involving drunk tweets. Eric says he hopes Borash enjoys his 15 seconds of fame here, because he knows he will. He corrects Borash that his phone is an iPhone and not a Blackberry, because we all give a damn. Eric starts to say something else, when Bully Ray comes in from behind and gives Borash a low blow. Eric calls Borash an idiot as Ray films him with his phone. Eric asks a referee to come into the ring, since it’s Open Fight Night.
MATCH 2: Jeremy Borash vs. Eric Bischoff
The referee gets down and counts a 3, making Eric Bischoff the winner of this “match”.
WINNER: Eric Bischoff. Correct me if I’m wrong, but even though Eric is here tonight, he lost his job as an employee in the Lethal Lockdown match, meaning Borash calling him out and him “getting the win” were both even more pointless. Yeah, this concept is going to last a really long time.
Mr. Anderson is in the back, talking to Anonymous Interviewer now. He’s rambling on about respect for Eric Bischoff, as Eric is the one who brought him in the company. He more or less calls Eric two-faced. He says everyone thinks Bischoff is an asshole, but that’s not true because Anderson is an asshole; it’s a term of indearment. God, I hate you so much, Anderson. He then calls Bischoff a “frickin’ douchebag, and that douchebag needs to go BUH-BYE.” So much hate for this man.
Mexican America is in the ring. Speaking of wrestlers I hate, Anarquia has been given a microphone. He’s screaming about not being considered for the Tag Team title match. Nobody can beat them at all. Except, you know, everyone on the roster since they haven’t won a match in months. Kurt Angle is apparently going to do so. Anarquia keeps spewing nonsense with fake Spanish peppered in. He makes it look like Hernandez is going to take the match, but attacks Angle from behind as he’s looking at Hernandez.
MATCH 2: Anarquia (w/Hernandez, Rosita and Sarita) vs. Kurt Angle.
Again, when did Angle become a face? Anarquia is punching Angle in the corner, followed by a corner whip. Remember when Angle was the most hated guy in the company? Neither doe these fans. Angle sidesteps a corner charge, hits a release German Suplex, follows up with the Angle Slam and the ankle lock for the submission.
WINNER: Kurt Angle. You know your show is bad when the best match of the night so far has been Bully Ray vs. Devon.
We get a video package for Alex Silva, who will get a chance at a TNA contract tonight in the first Open Fight Night “Gut Check”. Alex Silva makes his way into the Impact Zone, flanked by Al Snow, who has a microphone. Guess we have to wait until after the commercial to hear what Snow has to say.
Back from the break, Snow and Silva are in the ring. Snow is telling us he is the lead judge for these “Gut Checks”. He describes what the Gut Check is, with these guys basically attempting to earn a spot on the roster when facing a TNA star. He then tells all independent stars to sign up for the Gut Check if they want a shot in the future. Tens of independent stars are signing up right now as we speak.
MATCH 4: Alex Silva vs. Robbie E (w/Robbie T)
Al Snow is taking over for Mike Tenay on commentary for this match. E slaps Silva. Silva slaps E. Silva looks like a monkey. He throws a few really weak punches and a clothesline for a 0-count. E hits a clothesline and a bunch of weak kicks. This could headline flea markets all over the country. E with a double axe handle and a back elbow. E with a bodyslam, a knee lift and another bodyslam. E goes to the middle rope, but misses the elbow drop. Silva hits a pair of back elbows and a powerslam. He goes to the middle, but E moves out of the way, kicks him in the gut and hits a punch. The camera awkwardly cuts to a shot of some fans who look terribly bored. E hits a weak implant DDT and gets the 3.
WINNER: Robbie E. Al Snow tells us to email TNA and let them know what we think of Alex Silva. I think I can speak for the other 9 people watching this show when I say that, Silva, you are only embarrassing yourself.
Dixie Carter is telling Anonymous Interviewer about what she’ll miss about Eric Bischoff. Basically, she sarcastically says she’ll miss everything about him, before saying “Pretty much nothing.” Ha! That was so clever.
We see Hulk Hogan in his office, talking to the possible challengers for the Tag Team titles. He lists off the “so many great teams” on the roster, which consist of the Motor City Machine Guns, the mash-up team of Anderson & Jeff Hardy, Kazarian & Christopher Daniels (who have barely teamed since this angle started) and ODB & Eric Young. This is your TNA tag team division, folks. Hogan asks Daniels why his team deserves the shot. Daniels points out the Guns lost at Lockdown. He says in ODB, one of them is a man, and the other has a bad beard. He calls Anderson a “potty mouth”, saying he and Hardy hate each other. Chris Sabin points out the Guns’ accolades, saying they want it more than anyone else. Hogan then calls Hardy and Anderson two of the greatest pieces of talent in history. Anderson kisses Hardy and say he loves him. Apparently, that’s his reason for deserving a shot. As Hogan is asking ODB and Young if they’re ready, you can see that he’s stoned out of his mind. Young says they’re undefeated, and they’re already champions. Hogan tells the Guns they are out of the competition due to Shelley’s knee being bad after Lockdown, but he’ll make his final decision later tonight. Makes sense-eliminate the best team on the roster and one of the best in the world. Good decision.
Brooke Tessmacher makes her way down, calling for a microphone on the way. The former notch on Batista’s bedpost says the entire wrestling world is talking about how she pinned Gail Kim last week. Except no one is talking about that. At all. People are saying it was a fluke (bingo). She’s here to prove that was no fluke, that she’s no fluke, and she’s not a pair of ASS-ets. Oh, that was so good. It may not be a championship match, but she’s calling out Gail Kim’s “high maintenance…self…” out here now.
MATCH 4: Brooke Tessmacher vs. Knockouts Champion Gail Kim (non-title)
Tessy tries to charge in before the bell, but referee Earl Hebner keeps them separated. He then rings the bell after Kim decks Tessy in the back of the head. Kim throws her into the corners a couple of times before whipping her face-first into the mat. Kim botches a running clothesline for 2. Kim slaps her in the face and kicks her in the ribs. Another corner whip, followed by a corner clothesline? I guess? I don’t know. It looked bad. Kim’s off her game tonight. Tessy moves out of the way of a second charge, and fires off some punches. Corner whip by Tessy, but Kim counters with a running clothesline. That one looked better. Kim slams Tessy’s head into the mat before stomping on her. She gets Tessy up in a fireman’s carry, and just releases her face-first. Tessy fights back from her knees, hitting some forearms and a pair of running clotheslines. She hits the Eve Torres Dropsh*t, but Kim sidesteps her on a charge, sending her throat-first into the ropes. Kim gets her in the corner and applies a foot choke. She grabs the title belt and shoves it in Tessy’s face before calling her a “piece of sh*t”. Kim hits the running shoulder in the corner, then goes up top for a seated dropkick. Tessy moves and hits a back suplex into a facebuster for 3.
WINNER: Brooke Tessmacher. Guess she finally upgraded her finisher from the small package.
Up next, Hogan eliminates the second team for the Tag Team title match tonight. I’m on the edge of my seat here.
Anonymous Interviewer is asking Daniels and Kazarian if they’ll get the title match tonight. Daniels says of course. Kazarian makes reference to “a disturbance in the force”, saying AJ Styles isn’t here tonight, but he better show up next week, or they let the “kitty out of the bag”. Kazarian, quit trying to be a nerd. You’re a total dork and a tool, and it’s time you accepted that.
We get video from last week, when RVD became the new #1 contender for the World title, despite really not having done anything at all for months. Just like last year! Hooray for fresh ideas!
We see Al Snow talking to Alex Silva. He hopes Silva realizes the chance he got, and he’ll talk to the other judges and get back to Silva next week with their decision. World Champion Bobby Roode walks in. He calls Silva the “Gut Check kid” before introducing himself. Silva had a chance at a contract tonight. Does he know how long it took Roode to get a contract, to even get seen in this company? He wishes Silva luck before telling him he always has to be ready for the unexpected. Roode then punches him in the stomach.
We’re now back in Hogan’s office with the title contenders. He singles out ODB and Eric Young, saying they’ve “over-trained”. Okay. They’re out of the running for tonight. As Young walks away, his bacne is more prevalent than ever. Hogan tells the two remaining teams to head to the ring, as he’ll make his decision there.
Great. We’ve got Garett Bischoff talking to Anonymous Interviewer now. He’s putting in his two cents about Eric Bischoff now. I’m sure you can guess everything that the face son will say about the heel dad, so I’m not recapping it. I’ve had enough of this asshat.
We see Bully Ray in the back, talking on his cellphone to his girlfriend or whatever. Joseph Abyss walks in and introduces himself. He says it’s a pleasure to meet Ray. Ray responds with, “Of course it is.” Abyss says Ray might know the whereabouts of himself. Ray doesn’t know anything, but if he didn’t, he wouldn’t say anything. Abyss hands him his card, asking him if he knows any information on the whereabouts of himself, Ray should give him a call. Ray tells him to “shove it”. Abyss laughs.
The World Tag Team Champions Magnus and Samoa Joe make their way out to the ring, as it’s time to find out who their opponents are for the night. Christopher Daniels and Kazarian make their way out next, followed by Jeff Hardy and Mr. Anderson. And, because he has to be out last, Hulk Hogan finally makes his way out. As everyone else is in the ring, he stays on the stage to make his announcement. He wants everyone to know that the atmosphere for Open Fight Night is even wilder in the back than it has been for everyone out here, brother. This decision for the title match has been his toughest decision of the night. Basically, he says he doesn’t like Kazarian and Daniels, but at the same time, Anderson and Hardy can’t work together. Much like Kurt Angle turning face, since when? Anyway, because of this, um, logic?, Hogan says that Anderson and Hardy get the title match. Oh, and in case you weren’t sure it was Open Fight Night, Hogan has said it about 812 times during this broadcast.
MATCH 5-World Tag Team Championship: Champions Magnus and Samoa Joe vs. Jeff Hardy and Mr. Anderson
Taz just referred to this as “Crash TV”. I thought Vince Russo left? Joe starts off with Anderson, backs him into the corner and punches him down. Anderson returns the favor before tripping Joe for 2. Anderson with an arm wringer as Hardy asks for a tag. Anderson ignores it, allowing Joe to tag in Magnus. Anderson tags in Hardy by shoving him. Magnus with a punch and some corner kicks. Hardy catches a headscissors out of the corner and a reverse enziguri for 2. Hardy with an arm wringer as he tags in Anderson. The challengers try a double-team, but Magnus fights them both off and tags in Joe. Joe comes in and runs into a back elbow from Anderson as we go to commercials.
Back from the break, Joe is back in control. He throws Anderson to his corner and tags in Magnus. Magnus runs into a trip by Anderson, who turns it into a side headlock. Hardy tags in, hits an inverted atomic drop, a double legdrop and a seated dropkick. Magnus rolls to the outside, and Hardy follows. Joe manages to level Hardy with a clothesline on the outside as Magnus rolls back in the ring. Joe rolls Hardy into the ring for a 2 by Magnus. Joe tags in, and the champions hit the inverted atomic drop/bit boot/running senton series for 2. Joe with a headbutt before throwing Hardy to the corner. Hardy gets his elbow up on a charge, then blows Whisper in the Wind (as always), taking Joe down. Anderson and Magnus both tag in. Anderson hits a clothesline, a back elbow and a swinging neckbreaker for 2. Anderson goes for the rolling fireman’s carry, but Joe charges at him. Anderson drops Magnus and hits Joe with a clothesline. Anderson charges in at Magnus, but Magnus sidesteps, sending Anderson to the floor. Hardy sends Magnus to the floor. Joe hits Hardy with a powerslam for 2, even though neither are legal. Joe picks Hardy up, but Hardy hits a sit-out jawbreaker and the Twist of Fate. Outside the ring, Magnus sends Anderson into the stairs. Hardy gets distracted and nails Magnus with a running clothesline from the apron. Anderson slides back in the ring and goes for the Mic Check. Joe reverses, but Anderson reverses as well into a roll-up. Joe turns the roll-up into the Kokina Clutch, and Anderson taps out.
WINNERS AND STILL CHAMPIONS: Magnus and Samoa Joe. At least the right team went over here. Considering what company this is, it wouldn’t have surprised me if Hardy and Anderson won the belts and then held them for the next two years. As the champs are making their way back up the ramp, they’re attacked by Daniels and Kazarian.
Ric Flair’s going-away party for Eric Bischoff is up next. Because it would be stupid to have a match close the show when a Flair/Bischoff party has been promised. Ratings!
They’ve laid out the red canvas in the ring, and filled it with a random fancy chair, a podium and a picture of Eric Bischoff on an easel. Ric Flair comes out, flanked by Bully Ray, Gunner, Kazarian and Christopher Daniels. The camera zooms in on Ray’s face for some reason, and he’s starting to look really old. Flair says we’re here tonight not to mourn, but to celebrate, and no one alive knows how to celebrate more than him. Google him. That’s his wife’s favorite line, apparently. We’re celebrating Eric Bischoff tonight. If you have any knowledge of this sport, Eric has been a major impact player, no pun intended. More stupid “na na na na” chants. And people wonder why Flair doesn’t like wrestling fans. They are the rudest people he’s ever met. And now, a man who has impacted TNA Wrestling more than anyone, Mr. Eric Bischoff. As Eric comes out, I notice that his name on his entrance “video” has been blurred, despite the fact that they’ve been saying and showing his name uncensored Ad nauseum all night.
Eric takes his seat in the fancy chair. Flair says he needs to tell Eric what Eric has meant to him, as well as to the other men in the ring and the hundreds who have worked for him. Dixie Carter should be on her knees thanking Eric for the day he came to him. Even though Flair doesn’t like Hogan, Eric is the reason Hogan is here, and more importantly, he’s the reason Flair’s here. These gentlemen here all know what Eric’s done for them as individuals. Flair asks if there are any women in the audience who want to go home and sleep with Eric tonight, meaning he wants to give one of them the poster. Flair then thanks everyone, and hopes everyone knows and appreciates what Eric has done in this business. Gunner then grabs the microphone. He says it’s a sad day for all of us. Eric’s been like a father figure to him and has given him nothing but opportunities. Flair then presents Eric with a gift on behalf of everyone in the ring. It’s a Rolex watch. Bully Ray says he’s never admitted this to another man before, but Eric is the wind beneath his wings. Ray then hugs Eric as Daniels fake cries.
Garett Bischoff’s music hits, and he comes out with Jeremy Borash, Austin Aries, the Motor City Machine Guns and Rob Van Dam. He says JB has a really good idea. If this is really Eric’s last night, they all wanted to pitch in and get him a farewell gift. Again, the crowd is so into Garett, they’re chanting “RVD! RVD!” Borash says that, although Eric’s Rolex is nice, they have something more symbolic. Tonight, they’d like induct him into the “TNA Shed of Shame”. We see SoCal Val somewhere else in the arena by a curtain, and the curtain pulls back to reveal a yellow port-a-John. The heels and faces begin brawling as Garett grabs his dad in a headlock and drags him to the toilet, where Borash opens the door and helps shove Eric in. They lock a chain around it as Garett pretends that the crowd gives a flying damn about him. Borash and Garett then push the toilet over, and we see a puddle of poop below where it was sitting, because poop=comedy. Eric manages to climb out, and he’s covered in more poop, making things so much more hilarious.
End of show.
What’s left to say, Mama Walton?
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Elimination Chamber, Money in the Bank, Destination X and Monsters Ball are just a few of the many gimmick or concept events and matches from both World Wrestling Entertainment and Total Non-Stop Action Wrestling. As a long-time fan of wrestling fan I have enjoyed my fair share of gimmick or concept matches.
With a decline in both television ratings and pay-per view buys, both WWE and TNA have been relying too heavily on gimmick or concept matches. While there is nothing wrong with having a special gimmick or concept type match, I think both promotions have the average wrestling fan on gimmick match overload.
WWE, in 2009 went through a pay-per view overhaul (all but the big four) by changing pay-per view names and giving each event a gimmick or concept theme in order to entice viewers to plunk down $44.95 for what looks on paper to be something new and different. However, both in 2010 and 2011, according to The Wrestling Observer Newsletter, the numbers for both 2010 and 2011 years were bleak, even with record low numbers for WWE. This is disappointing for a company that is supposed to be the global leader of the professional wrestling industry.
A report by Cageside Seats, lists that TNA’s Hardcore Justice pay-per view event had roughly 7,500 buys in 2011. This is just an example of why TNA should really either get out of the pay-per view business or cut back the number of pay-per views with a full emphasis on good old fashioned wrestling and not a ring full of chairs, thumb tax, etc.
Both companies need to generate a real buzz that is going to want to make fans care about their product, something that has been lacking for quit sometime in professional wrestling. Yes, I am intrigued by the return of Brock Lesner to WWE and found the big brawl with at the beginning of Monday Night Raw between John Cena and Lesner great television, especially when Lesner botched a punch to Cena and actually caused him to bleed and have a fat lip for the night.
I enjoy a good brawl, as it adds realism to a feud, something that has not been seen on WWE television in a long time. If this feud is done right, it could generate some interest in the upcoming Extreme Rules pay-per view, and the stipulation of no count-outs, no disqualification, etc. makes perfect sense for this kind of pay-per view concept, but according to reports Kane and Randy Orton continue to have this kind of match at house show events and television taping dark matches, which either televised or not, is repetitive.
Because Ring of Honor doesn’t have pay-per-views every month, the concept or gimmick matches in ROH tend to have more meaning, but are carbon copies of the original Extreme Championship Wrestling and a WWE TLC pay-per view event. Yes, they tend to be the same both WWE and TNA when it comes to using tables and chairs, but you don’t see it month after month on their iPPV events or what can seem like week after week at times on TNA television.
A good start to get fans interested again is for both WWE and TNA need to step away a bit from the gimmick and concept format and put more focus on the surprise factor that has been missing from professional wrestling since the Monday Night War from the mid 1990’s.
Because Ring of Honor doesn’t have pay-per-views every month, the concept or gimmick matches in ROH tend to have more meaning, but are carbon copies of the original Extreme Championship Wrestling and a WWE TLC pay-per view event. Yes, they tend to be the same both WWE and TNA when it comes to using tables and chairs, but you don’t see it month after month on their iPPV events or what can seem like week after week at times on TNA television.
A good start to get fans interested again is for both WWE and TNA need to step away a bit from the gimmick and concept format and put more focus on the surprise factor that has been missing from professional wrestling since the Monday Night War from the mid 1990’s.
If you watched Impact Wrestling last Thursday night (the nine of you besides me), you heard Hulk Hogan’s “big announcement” about the title pictures in TNA. If you didn’t watch the show (everyone else), allow me to fill you in. Hogan called all current champions into the ring-save for ODB and Eric Young, because they were on their “Honeymoon”-and told them that, starting next week, TNA would feature “Open Fight Night” once a month.
What is “Open Fight Night”? There are a couple of aspects to it. First off, each OFN, a wrestler outside of the company will get a tryout match, and if Hogan and three unnamed judges like what they see from said competitor, he or she will be offered a TNA contract. Second, anyone can challenge anyone else on that night, and if the challenged wrestler is in the building, he or she has to accept and take the match. Furthermore, if a champion is challenged, the match is automatically for the title.
This might sound like a decent concept on paper, and it could be. However, the chances of that are very slim, and the reason for that is quite simple. Any time TNA announces a major change, specifically involving increased competition and a bigger focus on championships, they keep it going for a couple of weeks before forgetting about it altogether. Don’t believe me? Take a look at TNA’s track record. In the past, TNA has increased focus on both the tag team and X-Divisions.
It works for a few weeks, getting fans all excited with promises of more action and deeper divisions. And then…nothing. It’s forgotten about in a few weeks, and we’re back to square one. Look at TNA’s current tag team division. The champions are mash-up team of two guys who were doing nothing as singles wrestlers in Samoa Joe and Magnus (although I admit they make a surprisingly good team), and their only challengers are the awfulness known as Mexican America, the Motor City Machine Guns (who have only had one run as champs despite being one of the best teams in the world), and, to a much lesser extent, the Robbies.
As for the X-Division, despite the fact that the current champion, Austin Aries, is one of the best wrestlers/performers in the world, the belt is being treated like an afterthought. Instead of being in awesome, highly competitive matches like he should be, he’s instead stuck in a meaningless, go nowhere feud with Bully Ray that will likely see him get buried due to Dixie Carter’s girl boner for Ray. And it hasn’t just started with him; the belt has been nothing but a prop for most guys for quite a while right now, bouncing around from guys who aren’t in the company anymore (Daivari and Brian Kendrick), to “comedy” acts (Eric Young), to guys who have absolutely no business holding the belt (Abyss). And the Knockouts aren’t safe, either. The tag team titles were added to that division because, at one point, there was admittedly a lot of depth. Now, there are two regular teams and the belts are held by a “comedy” act, with one half not even being female.
Anyone remember the “TNA Power 10”? No? Didn’t think so. Let me refresh your memory. When Eric Bischoff first took over as the TV figurehead for the company, he created the “Power 10”, a top 10 list that would be constantly updated based on win/loss records and performances, with the 10 men on the list being considered the top 10 challengers for the World Championship. Again, it was kept around for a couple of weeks, and then never mentioned ever again. It was never explained why it was dropped or where the guys on the list would go from there in regards to challenging for the belt.
Most of them have gone onto do nothing but flounder in the mid-card since then, not even getting within sniffing distance of a World Championship match. Sadly, this isn’t even the first time this kind of thing has happened, either. During the weekly PPV days, TNA once tried this same thing using a Russo brain-fart, the “Reverse Battle Royal”. The first 10 men to get in the ring would be in a gauntlet match following, with the order of elimination equaling the placement in the top 10, with the winner becoming the number-one contender to TNA’s then-main title, the NWA World Championship. I can’t remember who won (I believe it was Ron “R-Truth” Killings), but I do remember that the title match was never happened, and the rankings were completely forgotten immediately following that match.
As you can see, TNA’s track record for this kind of thing is far from stellar. They can slap whatever name they want on it now, but it’s still going to be the same thing we’ve seen over and over again. As I’ve said before, I would love nothing more than for TNA to succeed. I know it doesn’t seem like it in my columns, but it is true. The U.S. needs a strong number 2 promotion, and based on their funding, TNA is the best chance of that happening. On paper, OFN sounds like a great idea, and a pretty good concept that could really help things out. However, based on TNA’s past, I’m not holding my breath on it succeeding.
Hogan said this would happen at least once a month from now on. If this thing goes past 3 months, I will be absolutely shocked. I guess time will tell, but for now-because watching TNA has programmed me to do so-there is very little hope.
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If you missed TNA Impact Wrestling Sacrifice 2012 you missed one of the better pay per view events in TNA history. Bobby Roode and Rob Van Dam topped off a fast paced show with one of the most exciting matches of the year.
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Elimination Chamber, 
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