This week’s WWE SmackDown! opens with Fandango and Anonymous Broad heading down to the ring. Lilian Garcia enters the ring, and Fandango begins fondling her. He tells her she’s looking excellent tonight, then asks if she’s ever been dipped before. Have you ever made moves on anyone before? Lilian, have you ever Fandangoed before? It feels good. Real good. Fandango then spins her and goes to kiss her, but instead dips her before telling her that was terrible. Fandango then drops Lilian in the middle of the ring. He tells her she’s beautiful, but there’s nothing beautiful about the way she dances. You’re just like each and every one of these people who butcher his name and mock his dance. Can you at least pronounce his name correctly? Pay attention: It’s FAN…

Santino Marella comes out on the stage and calls him “Fandingo”. Fandango is a very rude person, the way he talks to the WWE Universe and the way he just treated Lilian. Hi, Lilian. It pains Santino to admit it, though: Fandango has some good moves. That dance looks like so much fun. In fact, he really hopes if the WWE Universe doesn’t mind if Santino does his version. But first, he’d like to introduce his dance partner…it’s the Cobra. Together, they are going to do a 2-step all over Fandango’s face. Santino begins dancing to Fandango’s entrance theme, getting in Fandango’s face in the process. Fandango eventually charges at Santino, but Santino low-bridges him to the outside.

MATCH 1: Fandango (w/Anonymous Broad) vs. Santino Marella
Fandango immediately attacks Santino and throws him to the corner. Santino counters a corner whip and mocks Fandango, so Fandango kicks him. Boot to the head by Fandango, and now some mounted punches. Santino fails at a kip-up, so Fandango stomps him some more. The “You can’t wrestle!” chants have already started. Forearm shots in the corner by Fandango, and then he slams Santino face-first into the mat. Santino once again fails at a kip-up, and Fandango goes for more mounted punches before applying a cravat. Fandango snaps him back to the mat, then rubs himself. Santino succeeds at the kip-up this time, hits some rights, does the splits and hits a hip toss and a saluting headbutt. He goes for the Cobra, but Fandango blocks it and hits a variation of the Flatliner to get the 3.

WINNER: Fandango.

We see Booker T and Teddy Long in Book’s office. Book tells Teddy things are different now. Teddy didn’t consult him when making a match Monday night between Swagger and Ziggler. The Big Show walks in and thanks Teddy for giving him a tag team partner against Sheamus and Orton. Unlike some who put him in a handicap match, Teddy had the foresight to make sure he’s in a situation where he won’t get injured. Book then stares at Teddy as Teddy leaves.

MATCH 2-Champion vs. Champion: WWE United States Champion Kofi Kingston vs. Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett (non-title)
Lock-up to start, and Wade backs Kofi into the corner. Kofi ducks a right and hits some kicks. Wade counters an arm wringers with a right hand, then begins hitting some elbows to the back of the head. Kofi flips out of an arm wringer and snaps off a hurricanrana for 2. Wade shoulders Kofi off the ropes, and a crisscross ends with a dropkick by Kofi for 2. Kofi applies a top wristlock, and Wade fights out before hitting some straight left jabs. Kofi ducks one and hits a side-Russian legsweep before hitting a kick to the chest. Kofi hits a springboard splash from the middle rope for 2. Wade begins to fight back, but runs into a Pendulum by Kofi. Kofi goes up top, but Wade boots him in the face, sending him to the floor. Wade follows outside, where he continues striking Kofi before slamming him into the announce desk. Back in the ring, Wade rolls Kofi over for the pin, getting 2. Wade sets Kofi horizontally across the top rope, hitting a running kneelift to the gut. Wade goes for the pin again, getting another 2 before applying a rear chinlock. Kofi fights out of the hold with lefts and rights until Wade hits a kneelift and sends Kofi to the corner. Kofi blocks the charge and mounts the middle rope, but Wade whips him back to the mat for 2. Wade drops an elbow off the ropes before going back to the chinlock. Kofi fights out once more, ducks a clothesline, ducks another and gets caught with the Winds of Change. He tries to counter the move into a crucifix, but Wade drops backward into a modified Samoan drop for 2. Kofi holds on and counters the pin into a crucifix and gets the 3.

WINNER: Kofi Kingsotn. Not the best outing for these two, but still a solid match. These two are pretty much always guaranteed to deliver when they face each other.

Renee Young stops Mark Henry in the back to ask why he’s been attacking Sheamus. He says it’s because he can, and that’s just what he does. Sheamus then runs in and tackles Henry through a table and tells him that’s what he does, fella. These two feuded once before, and it was surprisingly entertaining, so I’m okay with WWE renewing this feud.

MATCH 3: Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo Rodriguez) vs. Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Colter)
ADR starts with a side headlock, and Swagger immediately goes to the injured left leg. ADR attacks Swagger’s injured shoulder, causing a clean break. ADR goes into a waistlock, and Swagger counters. ADR counters into an armbar, but Swagger fights him off. Swagger hits a kneelift and a hip throw. ADR shoves him off, and Swagger hits a shoulderblock. They go for a crisscross, but ADR lands badly on his injured leg. Swagger capitalizes and kicks him in the knee before dragging him to the ring post from the outside. ADR fights him off, kicking him into the barricade. ADR heads outside and nails Swagger with a kick to the chest before slamming the bad arm into the steps. Back in the ring, ADR goes for the pin and gets 2. ADR kicks Swagger between the shoulders for another 2. Swagger blocks a suplex and hits his own. Back up, ADR counters a corner whip. Swagger back drops him coming in. ADR lands on the apron, but his leg gets caught on the top rope. Swagger hotshots the leg, then knocks ADR to the floor. Commercials.

Back from the break, Swagger has a step-over toehold applied on ADR. ADR kicks him off, then hits a big kick to the bad arm. He jumps off the middle rope, and Swagger shoulders him in the bad leg on the way down for 2. Swagger drags ADR to the middle where he applies a legbar. ADR punches his way out of the hold. Back up, he ducks a clothesline and counters into a crucifix for 2. Swagger gets back up and hits a shoulderblock. Foot choke by Swagger now, but ADR begins to fight back. Swagger backs ADR into the corner and hits a series of kneelifts before working over the bad leg through the ropes. Swagger hits a short-arm clothesline, getting 2. Swagger begins ripping the bandage off of ADR’s knee and strikes it before going for the step-over toe hold again. ADR punches Swagger off and goes for the step-up enziguri, but Swagger ducks and hits an elevated belly-to-belly suplex for 2. ADR rolls to the apron, and he applies a jujigatame on the bad arm over the top rope. Back in, they trade strikes until Swagger kicks the bad knee. ADR ducks a running boot and hits a pair of clotheslines and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. However, ADR does it over his bad knee, putting himself down in the process. Swagger rolls to the apron, and ADR pulls him through the middle rope, hitting some forearm shots to the back and a Backstabber for 2. ADR calls for the rolling jujigatame, but Swagger counters and picks him up. ADR counters into a sunset flip for 2, then locks Swagger into the jujigatame. Swagger counters into the Patriot Lock. ADR manages to get a rope break, so Swagger breaks it and hits a Swagger Bomb to the back for 2. ADR tries to counter the Swagger Bomb the second time, but Swagger grabs the feet. He goes for the Patriot Lock again, but ADR kicks him in the bad arm and hits a double-knee armbreaker. ADR picks Swagger and goes for the rolling jujigatame, but Swagger shoves him off to the floor on the outside. ADR makes in before the count and hits a thrust kick to the face, getting 2 as Swagger grabs the ropes. Swagger trips ADR and gets the Patriot Lock on, but ADR rolls through and applies the jujigatame. Swagger gets back to his feet and tries to pin ADR, but ADR rolls through and rolls him into a pin for 3.

WINNER: Alberto Del Rio. Match was so-so, but had a nice finish.

We get a video for the Ryback/Cena feud. I don’t know if they’re planning on turning Ryback full heel right now, but it might not be a bad idea.

The announcers are talking about The Shield when the group interrupts. They talk about beating down John Cena this past Monday night, as well as Ryback watching on as Cena got beat down without helping out. Ryback knows how justice feels. He doesn’t want any more of their justice, and the look on Ryback’s face on Monday night was the same as the face on the Undertaker two weeks ago. They saw fear in ‘Taker’s eyes. He was terrified, and has never been so relieved to see Kane and Daniel Bryan. ‘Taker may be undefeated at Wrestlemania, but The Shield are undefeated, period. ‘Taker has run the company for 20 years, but all legends eventually get pushed aside, and ‘Taker’s time is up. Believe in The Shield.

MATCH 4-6-Person Tag Team Match: The Great Khali, Hornswoggle and Natalya vs. Epico, Primo and Rosa Mendes
I am still standing by my policy that matches involving Hornswoggle as a legal competitor will not be recapped. I apologize to his fans out there, but I’m sure both parents understand. Rosa looks good at least. This match apparently came about after an altercation in the parking lot between the two teams. Khali pins Epico after a Punjabi Plunge.

WINNERS: The Great Khali Hornswoggle and Natalya.

“From the Vault” segment featuring Berserker vs. “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka from 1991. Did anyone else find it strange when Snuka inexplicably started wearing boots to wrestle in when he spent so many years doing it barefoot? And speaking of footwear, I remember when Berserker joined WCW and started wrestling as John Nord. Despite no longer doing the Viking-type gimmick, Nord continued to wear the big furry boots for his matches, which was really weird.

MATCH 5: Mark Henry and The Big Show vs. Randy Orton and Sheamus
Sheamus and Henry start the match and begin yelling at each other. Henry decides to immediately tag in Show instead of fight. Show comes in, and the two immediately trade punches with Show getting the best of it. He drops Sheamus over the top rope onto the apron, then hits several open-hand chops to the chest, knocking Sheamus to the floor. Back in the ring, Sheamus cuts Show off on the apron with a hotshot, then nails Show with several forearms to the chest. Show shoves Sheamus into the corner, and Sheamus boots him in the knee before going up top. Show sees the Battering Ram coming, and Sheamus lands on his feet. He turns around into a kick from Show. Show goes for an elbow drop, but misses. Orton tags in and fires off some rights until Show throws him to the corner. Orton fights out, but gets hit with a sidewalk slam off the ropes. Headbutt by Show, and now Henry tags in. He chokes Orton over the middle rope. Orton fights back with rights before getting caught in a bearhug. Orton fights his way out, but Henry picks him up and rams him into the corner by Show. Show tags in and hits a body blow on Orton, knocking him down. Show hits another one in the middle of the ring. Orton begins to fight back, but runs into a goozle. However, he counters the chokeslam into a DDT. Sheamus tags in, ducks a clothesline and hits a pair of flying forearms. He rams Show into the corner, hits a running kneelift and follows up with a Battering Ram. White Noise connects, and now Sheamus calls for the Brogue Kick. He sees Henry run towards Show on the apron, so Sheamus knocks him down before getting hit with a spear by Show. Commercials.

Back from the break, Show knees Sheamus in the head. Sheamus tries to fight back from his knees, but winds up running into a clothesline. Show hits the Final Cut for 2. Bodyslam by Show, and now he tags in Henry. Henry applies a trapezius claw. Sheamus fights out before running into a big boot by Henry, which gets 2 as Orton breaks up the pin. Show tags in and hits a running body blow on Sheamus as Henry holds him up. Sheamus falls into the corner, where Show hits another body blow. He stumbles across the ring to another corner, and Show hits an open-hand chop. Sheamus starts hitting some rights until Show hits a kneelift and applies a trapezius claw of his own. Show picks Sheamus up and hits a forearm across the back before going back to the claw. Show throws Sheamus to the corner and hits a running hip bump. He goes to the ropes, and Sheamus comes out of the corner with a chopblock. Orton and Henry tag in. Orton ducks a clothesline, hits some kicks and punches, ducks a clothesline and finally knocks Henry down with one of his own. Orton hits a DDT on Henry from Henry’s knees, getting 2. Henry rolls to the apron, and Orton goes for the suspended DDT. Show comes in and hits Orton across the back. Henry tags Show in, and as Show is climbing in over the top rope, Orton catches him with the suspended DDT. Orton calls for the RKO, but Henry comes in and clotheslines him. Sheamus tackles Henry through the ropes, sending them both to the floor. Show gets up and hits the chokeslam on Orton, getting 3.

WINNERS: The Big Show and Mark Henry.

End of show.

As always, feel free to follow me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/xdustineflx ,and if you like Married…With Children, you can follow my Al Bundy parody account at http://www.twitter.com/bundyisms. Also follow my personal blog at http://nerdslikeme.blogspot.com (feedback is welcome). Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out my mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:

-Dustin

WWE: WrestleMania 29 DVD

WWE: Bret Hitman Hart – The Dungeon Collection

Grab discounted WWE DVDs, merchandise, t -shirts, figures, and more from the WWE Shop on Amazon.com

This week on WWE Friday Night SmackDown, Triple H will appear for the first time in a long time. Also, the NEW World Champion Dolph Ziggler will be making an appearance. I cannot tell you how excited I am to finally see him wearing the gold (yes, I know he was champ for 15 minutes once, but even Ziggler himself doesn’t count that reign).

Big E. Langston makes his way onto the stage to formally introduce the new champ. Ziggler, AJ Lee and Langston make their way down to the ring. Ever since he debuted, he’s been the most physically gift athlete in wrestling, and that’s an understatement. People would look at him and just knew that he was the future of the company, and this World title proves the future is now. Each and everyone of you feels like you’re a part of this. You chanted for him at Wrestlemania despite not being in the match. Then, the next night at RAW, when he made history…the WWE Universe would love to join in on this celebration. But the fact is that the title and that moment belong to only one person, and that’s Dolph Ziggler. He didn’t win the belt because of the fans; he did it in spite of us. All of his life, people have ridden his coattails for whatever reason, but no matter what, you will never be him when you look in the mirror…

Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter appear on stage, and Zeb has a mic in-hand. Ziggler isn’t happy and wants to know what they’re doing out here. Zeb formally introduces himself to Ziggler, and he congratulates Ziggler for what happened on Monday night. Beyond that, as far as the title is concerned, everyone in the WWE Universe knows who to thank for Ziggler’s success, and that’s Jack Swagger. Ziggler says this is his interview time and celebration. Jack, you had your chance at Wrestlemania and you blew it, so go to the back of the line. This is Ziggler’s time. Swagger starts to get in the ring, but then backs down when he realizes he’s outnumbered. Zeb tells Ziggler he should be grateful and give Swagger what he wants and deserves. The feed I have scrambles here, so I’m not sure what was said next by Zeb or Swagger. Ziggler tells them to stop playing Swagger’s music, then says that you can watch what happened on Monday night on DVR, but no one will ever be…

Alberto Del Rio now interrupts. Ziggler asks if ADR is here to steal the spotlight, or if he’s just bummed out because he’s no longer champion. Or, is he out here to get his rematch? If that’s the case, hobble on down and he can have the rematch right now. ADR says he didn’t come out to complain or anything; he came out here to say congratulations. He knows how it feels to cash in the MITB contract. That’s how he won the WWE title, and it feels great. But, when his ankle heals and he gets his rematch, Ziggler will be the one crying and complaining, perro. Until then, hasta la vista, baby.

Ziggler then asks for ADR’s music to be cut off. This is HIS night and HIS celebration. He’s sick of being interrupted. The next person that feels like they need to interrupt him will see why he is the real World Heavyweight Champion. No one comes out for a moment, and as Ziggler starts to talk again, Chris Jericho interrupts. Jericho asks him to please shut the hell up. Congratulations on winning the title, but you’re babbling about everything, including your crazy girlfriend AJ. AJ covers her ears and begins to scream as the fans chant “Crazy!” at her. Ziggler talks about being a show-off; Y2J is the original show-off, baby. It’s time to stop talking and start rocking. Jericho just came from Booker T’s office, and he had some very interesting information for everyone, including Ziggler. He refers to Ziggler’s fans as “Dolphins”. The news is that his very first match as champion is going to be Jericho himself, and it will be later tonight. And when you’re finished with the match, Ziggy Stardust, you will never, ever, EVER be the same again.

You know, JBL is a decent color commentator, but hearing him say “We fight on Friday night” all the damn time is really obnoxious.

MATCH 1: The Prime-Time Players (Titus O’Neil and Darren Young) vs. WWE Tag Team Champions Team Hell No! (Daniel Bryan and Kane; non-title)
I am amazed Kane and Bryan are still champions. I was certain Ziggler and Langston were going to win on Sunday. Oh, well. Ziggler’s WHC now, so it’s all good. Titus starts off with strikes on Kane. Kane counters into a pair of corner clotheslines. Up top, Kane hits a flying clothesline and calls for the chokeslam. Young tags himself in and runs into an uppercut. Bryan in now, and Kane sends him into Young with a corner whip into a corner dropkick. Bryan fires off some No! Kicks, but telegraphs a back body drop. Titus back in and Bryan ducks a double clothesline. Kane comes back in and chokeslams Young. Bryan applies the No! Lock on Titus, and Titus taps out.

WINNERS: Team Hell No! Man, that was short. The Shield appear on the TitanTron after the match and Dean Ambrose talks about the Brothers of Destruction reuniting, and hopes they don’t think The Shield is afraid. Gotta have a brain to survive, and that’s knowing where and when to strike. They don’t back down or ever run from a fight. Believe that. Believe in The Shield.

MATCH 2: Santino Marella vs. Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett (non-title)
Barrett starts with a side headlock before shouldering Santino down. Santino shoves him and ducks a clothesline, but Barrett nails a mule kick to the gut and hits an elbow to the back of the head for 1. Santino tries to kip up, but can’t do it. Barrett goes into a mount and hits some punches for 2 before going to a rear chinlock. Santino fights out, but gets hit with a knee to the gut. He avoids being sent into the corner before running into the Winds of Change for 2. Barrett signals for the Bull Hammer as Santino finally does the kip-up correctly. He ducks a clothesline, hits a few punches, a hip toss and a saluting headbutt for 2. Santino goes for the Cobra, but Barrett kicks the arm away and absolutely levels Santino with the Bull Hammer for 3.

WINNER: Wade Barrett.

Teddy Long and Booker T are in Book’s office talking when Sheamus interrupts. He wants to know why Book overruled him on Monday night, then booked a match against Randy Orton later on. Randy Orton steps in and is basically complaining about the same thing. Book starts to explain when Teddy interrupts. He says this is Book’s mistake, not his. Book says that Big Show was wrong, and he’s going to right that wrong. Both Sheamus and Orton want Show, and they’ve got it in a 2-on-1 Handicap match tonight. After they leave, Book then stares at Teddy.

MATCH 3: The Bella Twins (Brie & Nikki) and Tamina Snuka vs. The Funkadactyls (Cameron & Naomi) and WWE Divas Champion Kaitlyn
Kaitlyn and Snuka start the match, and Snuka immediately goes on the attack, knocking Kaitlyn down. Kaitlyn quickly recovers with a spear and goes for the pin. One of the Bellas breaks it, so Kaitlyn spears her. The other Bella tags in, and Naomi tags in, hitting a springboard cross-body and a flying headscissors. Rear View connects, and Naomi mounts the middle rope, but the other Bella yanks her to the floor. Cameron takes her out on the floor, and in the ring, one of the Bellas whips Naomi down by the hair and gets the 3.

WINNERS: The Bella Twins and Tamina Snuka. A hair whip ends the match? For f*ck’s sake.

Triple H makes his way out to the ring now. He says he told us the ass kicker’s back. He told Brock Lesnar they wouldn’t wrestle or fight, but that they were going to war. Well, they went to war, and Paul Heyman can make any excuses…

3MB of all people interrupt Trips’ celebration. Heath Slater tells Trips to shut up and listen up. Apparently, around here, you have to jump one of the big dogs to get noticed, and what bigger dog is there than Triple H? You think that battle with Brock Lesnar was bad? You ain’t seen anything yet, because 3MB is about to rock your face. 3MB surround the ring as Trips throws down the leather jacket. Before they can attack, The Shield’s music hits, and we see them coming down through the crowd. The Shield yank the members of 3MB off the aprons and destroy them on the floor before staring Trips down in the ring. They now jump on the apron, but before they can attack, Team Hell No! hits the ring to even things up. The Shield decides to head for higher ground.

In Booker T’s office, we see Book and Teddy arguing. Big Show enters, so Teddy leaves. He asks about the match tonight, and Book says it’s because he stuck his nose in business that didn’t concern him. Show says this is typical of Book’s bias against him. How about Show messes up his plans and just leaves the building? With his iron-clad contract, he can do what he wants. Book tells him to go ahead, because he’ll do whatever he can to get that contract destroyed in court. If Show wants to stay, though, his match is next.

MATCH 4-2-on-1 Handicap Match: Randy Orton and Sheamus vs. The Big Show
Orton starts for his side and attacks Show with kicks and punches. He corners Show and hits more punches and kicks. Show hits a sidewalk slam off the ropes before walking across Orton’s stomach. Show hits a body blow, then follows up with a bodyslam before mounting the middle rope, missing an elbow drop. Sheamus tags in, tackles Show and hits some punches. Sheamus hits a pair of Irish Hammers and a clothesline before shouldering Show in the corner and hitting a running kneelift. However, Show rebounds and hits Sheamus with a spear before nailing Orton with another body blow. Show grabs Orton, but Orton surprises him with an RKO. Sheamus calls for the Brogue Kick now, nails Show and sends him to the floor. Show manages to get to his feet, but instead of going back to the ring to make the count, he heads up the ramp instead.

WINNERS VIA COUNT-OUT: Randy Orton and Sheamus.

We see Orton and Sheamus heading back to the locker room, and they’re happy about getting some revenge. Orton walks off as Renee Young stops them for an interview. Sheamus tells her it did take two of them to take Show down, but it still felt sweet, and heart is what matters, not how big and strong you are. As Sheamus says this, Mark Henry clobbers Sheamus from behind, sending him through a table.

MATCH 5: WWE United States Champion Antonio Cesaro vs. Kofi Kingston (non-title)
Cesaro starts with an armbar. Kofi flips out of it, but gets clobbered. Cesaro hits some mounted forearm shots, then nails a straight right. Kofi comes back with a sunset flip for 2, but Cesaro rolls through and nails Kofi for 2. The deadlift gutwrench suplex hits, and now Cesaro yodels before hitting a running European uppercut in the corner for 2. Cesaro applies a mounted rear chinlock before just whipping Kofi down. He misses the double stomp, and Kofi hits a pair of double chops and a dropkick. He goes for the leaping clothesline, but Cesaro counters with a Very European Uppercut for 2. Cesaro charges into the corner, and Kofi counters with a pendulum kick. Up top, Kofi goes for the pumping cross-body, but Cesaro catches him. He looks for snake eyes, but Kofi slides out and shoves Cesaro into the corner. Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise and gets the 3.

WINNER: Kofi Kingston. I am very disappointed with how WWE has been booking Cesaro lately.

Fandango and his anonymous broad make their way out. It absolutely kills me that fans have latched onto Fandango solely for his entrance music. Granted, the music is insanely catchy (I have it set as both my ringtone and morning alarm), but it’s still hilarious, especially when Fandango still is average-at-best in the ring and still has an awful gimmick. I am interested to see if WWE latches onto this or if they pay attention to it for a couple of weeks before deciding to ignore it, as is the norm. The fans are “Fandangoing” by chanting along with the entrance theme here in Boston similar to Monday, only not quite as loud. Still pretty audible, though. Looks like he’ll be looking on during the main event, which means his feud with Jericho likely isn’t over.

MATCH 6: World Champion Dolph Ziggler (w/Big E. Langston and AJ Lee) vs. Chris Jericho (non-title)
Lock-up to start, and Jericho quickly armdrags Ziggler. Another lock-up, and Jericho applies a side headlock this time. Jericho shoulders Ziggler off the ropes, and a crisscross ends when Jericho chops Ziggler in the chest. Suplex by Jericho, but Ziggler begins to fight back with shots to the gut in the corner and follows up with a jumping avalanche. Ziggler hits a few more shots on Jericho in the adjacent corner before sending Jericho into the opposite corner. Jericho blocks a charge and hits a missile dropkick for 2. Jericho chokes Ziggler over the middle rope. AJ trips him, and that allows Ziggler to hit a rocker dropper for 2. Commercials.

We’re back, and Ziggler mocks Jericho with a posing pin. Jericho begins to fight back with rights before getting caught with a neckbreaker for 2. Ziggler applies a rear chinlock, complete with a headstand. Ziggler lands on his feet, turning the hold into a modified inverted STF before rolling back into a rear chinlock. Jericho gets back to his feet, but Ziggler cuts him off with some punches. Jericho comes back with a running forearm and a couple of shoulder tackles before Ziggler sends him to the outside. Jericho lands on his feet on the apron and goes to the top, connecting with a double axe handle. Jericho goes for a bulldog, but Ziggler shoves him off and hits a leaping DDT for 2. Jericho ducks a clothesline and dropkicks Langston through the ropes before knocking Ziggler down and following up with a top rope cross-body for 2 as Fandango and Jericho lock eyes. Ziggler pops back up with a gorgeous dropkick for 2. Jericho blocks the Zig-Zag and tries to roll Ziggler into the Walls. Ziggler rolls through, but Jericho knocks him down and hits the Lionsault for 2. Fandango jumps on the apron, so Jericho hits him with a springboard dropkick. Ziggler comes from behind and hits another rocker dropper and gets the pin with a handful of tights.

WINNER: Dolph Ziggler. Jericho attacks Ziggler after the match. Langston comes in, so Jericho hits him with a step-up enziguri. He scares Fandango off the apron, and that allows Ziggler to hit the Zig Zag. Langston gets back up and hits the Big Ending. So much for “Sudden Impact” being the name of his finisher. Fandango gets back up and gets in the ring. He dances for a moment, then begins attacking Jericho. Fandango dances some more, then jumps to the top rope. More dancing, and the guillotine legdrop connects. His anonymous broad gets in the ring and Fandango announces his own name as she does the splits. The fans go from booing Fandango mercilessly to chanting along with his theme music in a matter of seconds.

End of show.

As always, feel free to follow me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/xdustineflx ,and if you like Married…With Children, you can follow my Al Bundy parody account at http://www.twitter.com/bundyisms. Also follow my personal blog at http://nerdslikeme.blogspot.com (feedback is welcome). Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out my mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:

-Dustin

WWE: WrestleMania 29 DVD

WWE: Bret Hitman Hart – The Dungeon Collection

Grab discounted WWE DVDs, merchandise, t -shirts, figures, and more from the WWE Shop on Amazon.com

WRESTLEMANIA XXVIII
From SunLife Stadium in Miami, FL
April 1, 2012

BACKGROUND
It’s been purported that each WrestleMania event is generally planned a year in advance, and the booking is written backwards to support what they want to present on the grandest stage. While recent WrestleManias seem a bit more thrown-together at times, owing to an increasingly frenetic Vince McMahon being known to make constant changes, WrestleMania XXVIII was an event where a year-long plot was used, this time as an actual storyline.

One night after WrestleMania XXVII in Atlanta, John Cena called out The Rock. Rather than thrash the previous night’s guest host for costing him his World Title match against The Miz, a calm and happy-go-lucky Cena simply challenged Rock to a match at next year’s big event, giving both men one year to prepare for the clash of the ages.

The idea was unique for a modern time frame in which that $45 secondary PPV that you’re being offered has but two matches booked sixteen days before the event. It’s a little hard to get up for those shows (and buyrates seem to agree), but a WrestleMania where the main event is entrenched in everyone’s brains for 363 days?

Those “in-the-know” fans who balked at WWE’s most overexposed star, and most overexposed part-timer, getting a full calendar of non-stop billing would be rewarded by the successes of their heroes.

WWE was becoming a different place, as CM Punk and Daniel Bryan, who’d each passed through Philadelphia’s Murphy Rec Center on the way to the top, won the WWE and World Heavyweight Championships in 2011.

In spite of all of the social media blitzes, irksome moments from Michael Cole, and use of gimmickless FCW/NXT castoffs, it seemed WWE was crafting a WrestleMania unique among the pack. Between a year-long main event build, and two “workrate” champions, the everyday mold was finally being broken.

THE EVENT
Cena and Rock crossed paths prior to the WrestleMania main event, as Rock’s movie schedule allowed him to wrestle at Survivor Series 2011. That night at Madison Square Garden, he and Cena formed a super-team that annihilated The Miz and R-Truth. Afterward, Rock dropped Cena with a Rock Bottom as a reminder that, in four months, they’d each engage in a defining match in their careers.

After Cena was sidetracked by a hard-boiled feud with Kane through early 2012, he and Rock criss-crossed on the remaining road to WrestleMania, insulting each other in their typical juvenille fashion. Rock would host one of his trademark “Rock Concerts” laden with entendres and jibes toward the current company flagbearer, while Cena reinstituted his “Doctor of Thuganomics” persona, ripping into Rock with some lines that would make the kid-friendly sponsors cringe.

The match was even given a TV special on USA Network to promote the history of the icons, giving this match, dubbed “Once in a Lifetime”, a super fight feeling like no other in recent memory.

As if the dream match wasn’t enough to churn buyrates, the “end of an era” was also promised. The Undertaker, 19-0 at WrestleMania, wasn’t happy with how he barely eked the win out over Triple H one year earlier, and demanded a rematch with COO of the company.

Hunter initially balked, but The Dead Man persisted, eventually goading the man technically his boss into a fight. The Game agreed on one condition: that it be a Hell in a Cell match. Shawn Michaels, who’d had his career ended by Undertaker, was made guest referee as one last twist of the screw.

Sheamus was the winner of the 2012 Royal Rumble, last ousting a quizzically-acting Chris Jericho. The Celtic Warrior waited three weeks before deciding which championship to challenge for, ultimately deciding on the World Heavyweight title held by an increasingly-self-indulgent Daniel Bryan.

Bryan was an anomaly, winning the title as an underdog hero on December 18 via briefcase cash-in, but slowly took on a portrayal as an egomaniac jerk. Not only did he ignore the affection of girlfriend AJ Lee, but Bryan began to praise himself more and more for minor victories, many of them tainted. He even allowed AJ to be injured by a stampeding Big Show, all just to keep his title.

As for the WWE Championship, anti-hero CM Punk would face the winner of a ten man battle royal that took place on February 20. Jericho would win, and thus be afforded a chance to continue his vague “end of the world” crusade via the company’s top champion.

Jericho first began the mind games with Punk by claiming the “Straight Edge Superstar” had stolen his “Best in the World” moniker, which Punk gladly challenged Jericho to try and take back. With the champ not fazed, Y2J resorted to revealing the ugly family history of Punk, complete with the addictions his family members all once had. Jericho promised to lead Punk down the road of self-destruction en route to taking his title.

Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler were the evening’s commentators, joined by a now-goateed Jim Ross for the Hell in a Cell match. For the third time, Lilian Garcia performed America the Beautiful. The Hall of Fame Class of 2012 consisted of Edge, The Four Horsemen (dual induction for Ric Flair), Ron Simmons, Yokozuna, Mil Mascaras, and celebrity inductee Mike Tyson.

THE RESULTS
World Heavyweight Championship: Sheamus def. Daniel Bryan in 18 seconds to win the title
(And we stumble out of the gate. Boy the fans at SunLife dumped on them for this decision. I’ve said it in other mediums: it’s not the treatment of Bryan that made this moment suck; it was the belief by the company that Sheamus was going to look stronger as a result. The people who run WWE couldn’t find the pulse of the fans if they had a GPS)

Kane def. Randy Orton in 10:56
(I don’t know who this “Daniel Bryan” fellow is, but he sure got a lot of chants during this match. Decent contest that ended with a flying chokeslam)

WWE Intercontinental: Big Show def. Cody Rhodes in 5:18 to win the title
(The build was entertaining, with Rhodes showing film of Show’s WrestleMania embarrassments to psyche him out, but the match was all too brief. Rhodes actually reigned as champion for eight months)

Maria Menounos/Kelly Kelly def. Eve Torres/Beth Phoenix in 6:49
(All of these women are gone from WWE, which is a commentary on how women would rather do “something else” than work there. But I’d take a stinkface from Miss Menounos, at least)

Hell in a Cell/”End of an Era”: The Undertaker def. Triple H in 30:50
(Opinions of this one are a little divided. Some call this the greatest match in the history of the galaxy. Others think it was stupid to have Triple H assault Undertaker with basic moves, and have Michaels nearly “stop the match” because Taker couldn’t continue. Because Hunter’s so bad ass. Eh, 20-0 is 20-0, even if was slower and more plodding than Heaven’s Gate)

David Otunga/Mark Henry/The Miz/Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger/Drew McIntyre def. Kofi Kingston/Santino Marella/Great Khali/R-Truth/Zack Ryder/Booker T in 10:38
(As a result of this, John Laurinaitis won complete control of Raw and Smackdown from Teddy Long. Oh, and Zack Ryder looked like a useless tool. That’ll learn em)

WWE Championship: CM Punk def. Chris Jericho in 22:21
(A highly physical and intense battle that took some time to find second gear, I still found it to be the best match of the night. The battle at the end over the Anaconda Vise, with Punk refusing to give up on the hold, despite Jericho’s vicious struggle, was a nice touch)

“Once in a Lifetime”: The Rock def. John Cena in 33:34
(Nice throwback to the big-time WrestleMania main events of old, even if it was preceded by a six hour concert featuring Flo Rida and anorexic Shannon Moore. Cena’s undoing came as he tried a People’s Elbow, only to be Rock Bottom’d. Some said it was boring, but I actually liked it. Whether Rock has the endurance for another 30 minute match is another story)

ITS PLACE IN HISTORY
It’s hard to argue with 1.22 million buys, a WWE record, so some would say that a year-long build is the way to go. Rock would remain a part of WWE in a limited capacity, sticking around to challenge for the WWE Title at the 2013 Royal Rumble, but we’ll get to that next year.

The show began disastrously, and the fans largely didn’t come out of their anger-induced coma until the Hell in a Cell match. As many people who remember that match, and Rock and Cena’s epic showdown, equally remember how the show opened with the misstep of Sheamus and Bryan, possibly the worst WrestleMania booking since Hogan went over a tired Yokozuna at WrestleMania IX.

It wasn’t a terrible show, but it wasn’t a home run in any way except financially (undoubtedly important, despite our gripes). For the official “portrait” of the show, my pick will be a split screen. On one side is Shawn Michaels and Undertaker holding up a semi-conscious Triple H on the stage, while The Rock stands tall on the other side. WWE more than ever lives off of the past, as it can’t create an exciting present. Logically, their imagery should make you think you’re in 1998.

Justin Henry is a freelance writer who splits time between this site, WrestleCrap.com, and FootballNation.com. He can be found via his wrestling Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/wrestlecrapjrh

WWE: WrestleMania 29 DVD

WWE: Bret Hitman Hart – The Dungeon Collection

Grab discounted WWE DVDs, merchandise, t -shirts, figures, and more from the WWE Shop on Amazon.com

WrestleMania time always has me thinking of the great matches, and the great wrestlers, and the great Mania moments over the previous 28 editions of this great PPV. After all, the PPV is WWE’s version of the Super Bowl, the World Series, the Breeder’s Cup, whatever sports reference you want to use. WWE fans get to not only look forward to this year’s Mania, but they start reminiscing about past Manias. Many times, you will get to think about great memories,such as a great wrestler winning his/her first major title, but at times, you will remember sad ones as well, such as you remember seeing that wrestler in the PPV who is now dead .

In this blog, I will post my personal top ten WrestleMania moments of all time. I admit it was hard to narrow it down to just ten, but I did. I should state that they are not in any strict order, as you could ask me next week, and I could write a different list. Before I start, I do want to say, that my definition of “moment” is broad: Moment could be defined from an embrace to the entire PPV.

Here we go, and I hope you enjoy.

10. Hogan slamming Andre in WM3 in Detroit, MI

No matter how many times Hogan exaggerates Andre the Giant’s weight, and no matter how many times I see on YouTube or on TV, this spot is amazing. The match isn’t great, but it is a heck of a moment. Hogan finishing off Andre with the leg drop was cool. It is one of the most defining moments in WrestleMania history, in front of over 93, 000 screaming fans at the Pontiac Silver Dome in Detroit, Rock City (sorry. I had to get that in) in Michigan.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMoXP6zY1QY&feature=endscreen&NR=1

9. “I’m sorry. I love you” – HBK defeats Ric Flair in Flair’s Retirement Match at WM 24 in Orlando, FL

The night after a very emotional, and teary WWE Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony, which I was present at, the newly inducted Ric Flair, and soon to be Hall of Famer HBK Shawn Michaels had an excellent match which had all the emotional heat you could imagine. It was Flair’s “last match ever.” (of course we all know it would not be the case) Flair would have it with the best worker in the company, HBK, and why not. The ever defining moment was right before Shawn delivered the match winning Sweet Chin Music, he said, “I’m sorry. I love you.” After the pin, there was so much adoration and love between the two competitors and the fans, yours truly included. I was really believing that this would be Flair’s last. Great moment.

http://youtu.be/mMewKqXG9vg

8. World Champion Eddie Guerrero and his friend WWE Champion Chris Benoit embracing at the end of WM 20 in New York, NY

Yes, I know this pick is controversial, but this moment is still unforgettable nonetheless. I am not one to erase history because of the treacherous acts of one of the people in a sport or whatever.

Now, I was at this PPV, and AT THE TIME, this was a fantastic moment. It was very emotional seeing two guys who not only were friends, and were in not only ECW together, but WCW as well before joining WWE. Both guys were seen by some as “too small” to carry the World Titles, but were finally given a chance, and at the company’s biggest event, Eddie retained his World Title in a fantastic match against Kurt Angle, and Benoit, in one of the best WrestleMania main events ever defeated both Shawn Michaels, and the defending WWE Champion Triple H in one of the best Triple threats ever, at least in my opinion.

After the match, while Chris Benoit was celebrating, out came Eddie Guerrero with his belt, and the two embraced. It was such a great moment. Of course, as wrestling fans know, that image is marred by the devastating tragedies that would befell both men and their families. I want to add that I feel sad for Eddie and his family, and I CONDEMN Benoit for his TREACHEROUS ACTIONS. However, this moment is still one that is on my list regardless.

http://youtu.be/eh4hoiJppCQ

7. Anytime Vince McMahon got owned at WrestleMania

This moment is a culmination of moments, and it involves the one and only WWE Chairman Vincent Kennedy McMahon (God, how I love saying that.). Vince McMahon has an 0-4 record at WrestleMania, and that is no accident. As much as some moan and groan about seeing him put himself in matches with his own talent, I think it is awesome, because we all know that he is going to get his ass handed to him. Now, I am going to show a couple of my favorites. In fact, I was present for two of them: Vince McMahon getting his head shaved bald by his fellow Billionaire (except his opponent is an actual Billionaire) Donald Trump at WM 23 in Detroit, Rock City in Michigan at Ford Field, and at WM 22 (I was 9th Row ringside.) in Chicago at Allstate Arena when Vince McMahon was laying on a table, the top half of him in a garbage can, and HBK did an elbow drop from the top of a huge ladder. The third, which I was NOT at, was when at Safeco Field in Seattle, WA at WM 19, Vince gets his comeuppance from Hulk Hogan. I was not at this PPV either, unfortunately (KISS was in Australia at the time, and I was there for three weeks for six of their shows), but at WM 17 at Houston’s AstroDome, Vince got his butt kicked by his own son, Shane, after his “comatose” wife Linda got up and hurt Vince where the sun don’t shine.

WM 22 against HBK (last part of match): http://youtu.be/9OIPmNZ0DDo

WM 23 gets shaved bald: http://youtu.be/UZ1L013k5Hw

WM 19: against Hogan ( last part of match): http://youtu.be/QbBXe_qNeUs

WM 17. Linda’s Revenge: http://youtu.be/E17jqpLYajg

6. Stone Cold Steve Austin’s bleeding face as Austin refuses to say “I Quit,” while in Bret Hart’s Sharpshooter in WM 13 at the then named Rosemont Horizon (now All State Arena) in Chicago.

WM 13 is not known as one of WWE’s best Manias. It is known as one of the worst. The highlight of this PPV is this “Submission” or “I Quit” match between “Hitman” Bret Hart and Stone Cold Steve Austin. Bret was going into a tweener mode in early 1997, while Austin was still in a heelish mode. During the buildup, there is this famous confrontation between Bret Hart and Vince McMahon where during an interview in the ring and Bret went on a obscenity filled rampage saying how he isn’t respected, etc. Austin eventually comes down and the two go at it.

The match at WM 13 itself is a classic. Bret Hart comes out as a babyface. Austin comes out as his heel persona. Ken Shamrock is the special guest referee. Austin and Hart go all over the arena, and during the match, the crowd changes loyalties. The crowd starts cheering for Austin, and Bret starts getting booed. When Bret locks on the Sharpshooter, and won’t let go, and Austin passes out from the pain, a few things happen. One, you get one of the most classic moments in not only WrestleMania History, but in wrestling history. Two, you have , at least in my opinion, one of the best double turns I have ever seen. I mean, I think this has assisted Austin becoming the top star that the company ever had, along with the famous, “Austin 3:16″ promo at King of the Ring 1996. Bret would go on to become an awesome heel, and start that Canada vs the USA angle, and create the new Hart Foundation with his brother Owen Hart, the British Bulldog, Jim “the Anvil Neidhardt, and Brian Pillman. Lastly, you see an example of the art of “putting someone over.” For me, it wasn’t so important that Bret “won” the match, that makes this so awesome. It was that Austin got put over. Watching the product today, it feels like forever since I have seen a promising young talent being properly put over.

One could say the entire match could be a moment, but it is the image of Austin’s bleeding face and the aftermath that is so striking.

(Last part of the match) http://youtu.be/qTYcx8dq7KY

5. Stone Cold Steve Austin shaking hands with Vince McMahon after defeating The Rock at WM 17 in Houston, TX.

Well, here is another Austin moment, and it involves my personal favorite WrestleMania main event match EVER. Mind you, I have seen six WrestleManias in a row, Manias 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, and 25, and I plan to be at this one. I mean, my readers who know me well, you all didn’t think I was going to miss Edge being inducted into the Hall of Fame now, did you? Anyway, the only one that had a shot of toppling this particular Austin match was Mania 24′s Edge (c) vs Taker in Orlando. Very VERY close. This match also happens to be my favorite match by Steve Austin.

Before I go on, I nearly made the entire PPV the 5th best moment. WM 17, at least in my opinion, was an amazing PPV. I just thought every match was booked just about perfectly, even the silly stuff like the McMahon vs McMahon stuff. I mean, there was something memorable about every match, and I can not remember a match that was bad. I thought it was a nearly perfect PPV from the McMahon match (as in being a fun match), to the Taker/HHH match to the TLC match (Edge’s spearing Jeff Hardy in mid air is a memorable moment in itself) to this fantastic main event between the Rock (C) vs Austin.

As I discussed previously about the “I Quit” match, Bret Hart went on to have his heel run in 1997, and everyone knows what happened on November 9, 1997 in Montreal at the Survivor Series. Well, out of the ashes came this whole Evil Mr. Vince McMahon character where he was the evil owner who would try to thwart the hard working hero Stone Cold Steve Austin. As most fans know, this feud lasted for years during the Attitude Era.

Well, leading up to this particular match between the Rock (C) and Austin for the WWE Championship, Vince McMahon was manipulating both men by having Austin’s wife, Debra promise that there would be no contact between the two. Well, when there was contact between the two as one week, Austin gave Rock a stunner, and the Rock in retaliation, gave Austin a Rock Bottom, Debra got fired by Vince.

The match itself was a spectacle, and a classic. Great work by both guys, and Earl Hebner was fantastic as referee. Both Paul Heyman and Jim Ross were great on commentary. Ross especially was great, especially at the start when he was wondering about the mysterious announcement before the match began that the match was “No Disqualification.” Fans were treated to two terrible looking Sharpshooters, but other than that, the match was great. During the latter part of the match, who comes down the aisle, but Vincent Kennedy McMahon in his wrestling gear from his prior match with his son. There was a point where Rock had the cover, and the likely win where Vince pulled him out. Rock gave Vince the look of death, and chased Vince around the ring, and it was on. With the help of Vince and some chairs, Stone Cold Steve Austin not only won the title, and not only turned heel (which even he admitted was a bad idea), but did the unimaginable. He shook hands with the once evil, and reviled, Vincent Kennedy McMahon, and had beers with him.

That is an image I can’t get out of my mind, and I can STILL remember Jim Ross going crazy.

Scroll to about the 30:00 mark and go to the end: http://youtu.be/zwkQ2WNkXqY

4. Undertaker’s Return to face his brother Kane at WM 20 in New York, NY

Yes, I know that there are certain things that are guaranteed in this world: Death, Taxes, and the Undertaker winning at WrestleMania. Taker has defeated 19 previous opponents, and sorry, Hunter, as much of a die hard fan of yours that I am, you will be number 20. You could have Shawn as the ref, and Peyton Manning calling your plays or designing your game plan, you are, for the THIRD TIME, lose to the Undertaker. Heck, even the newly retired Hines Ward breaking through the Cell, and giving Taker one of his famous hits with former Steeler teammate James Harrison coming in, and hitting Taker, and leading with his helmet without fear of Commissioner Goodell is going to help HHH. HHH is losing at Mania……Career vs Streak or not.

That being said, what is also guaranteed is Undertaker’s long, but fantastic entrances. I mean, sure it takes him forever and a day to get to the ring, even on Raw and Smackdown, but at a PPV, especially at WrestleMania, it is well worth it.

In late 2003, Undertaker took some personal time off when he lost a Buried Alive Match at Survivor Series to Vince McMahon of all people, with the help of his “brother,” Kane. During this time Kane had gloated about putting away Taker, and said Taker was dead, etc. Right before Mania, on Raw, he faced a casket in the ring. The ring lifted up with Kane in it, and there was an urn with 11-0 in it which was a challenge from the Undertaker.

At the event itself, it was a spectacle to see. Out came the druids with flames, and with Paul Bearer leading them, and finally, the Undertaker. I was at this show, and it was a great site to see. I had seen Taker wrestle previously at shows, but this was my first WWE PPV, and I had never seen Taker all decked out in his costume walking with the druids and Bearer with Bearer carrying that urn. Great stuff to see live for the first time.

Of course we know who won, but that’s not important. Great moment.

At the 1:16 mark: http://youtu.be/dWd4B4Onu2o

3. A pair of Edge Landmark Moments. One at WM 21 in Los Angeles, and the other at WM 22 in Chicago

Well, my readers didn’t think I was going to leave Edge off of my favorite moments of all time list, did you? Well, I paired these two moments up into one because I feel they were landmarks and were kind of intertwined.

I will start with WrestleMania 21. That was the very first Money In The Bank Ladder Match. Of course, being that it was a ladder match, as his fan, I was worried about his neck, and all, but the other guys are professionals and such. Anyway, as people know by now, the idea of the MITB match is the person who climbs the ladder, and grabs the briefcase hanging above, wins the case, and its contents which is a contract. The winner has a year to “cash it in” from that year’s Mania, and challenge for whichever World or WWE Title he wants.

Of course, everyone knows Edge won it. When he did, it was a great moment. Being at the PPV, I could sense that he got a lot of heat. Of course, Shelton Benjamin had that awesome spot with the ladder in the match. However, it was Edge’s winning moment. I felt at that moment that we could be seeing a potential star. Well, he cashed in his case at New Year’s Revolution in January 8, 2006 on John Cena, and since then won the WWE/World Titles 10 more times, and became one of the best heels, and one of the best wrestlers in WWE history (yes, I said it). I would say he became a star.

Now, the second moment I picked: Edge’s first title, despite his ratings success, lasted three weeks. He started a feud with Mick Foley who Edge blamed for costing him a chance to headline WrestleMania 22 as the WWE Champ. That lead to a feud between the two which lead to a Hardcore match.

I was 9th row for this match, and the match not only kicked ass, but it was the best match on the card. The match also, at least in my opinion, solidified Edge as a main eventer in WWE. At least in my eyes it did. It showed me that he was willing to do just about anything to prove to a lot of those “in the back” (and there WERE the doubters) that he was a great singles star. The moment for me was the image of Edge spearing Mick Foley into that flaming table. It was awesome, but scary as well. After it was over, I was more concerned that Edge got to the back and got treatment.

However, it was a great moment. Both were great moments, and I thought they related to each other well.

Edge Winning MITB at WM 21: http://youtu.be/XsBZCXkT40E

Edge Spearing Foley at WM 22: http://youtu.be/OP-Iz1tQQoI

2. Edge’s last match at WM 27 in Atlanta, GA

Well, at the previous WrestleMania, fans saw the “Career vs Streak” match between Shawn Michaels and the Undertaker. Of course, Taker won the fantastic match which was a rematch of their sensational WM 25 classic in Houston. Shawn, of course, lost, and retired which he was going to do anyway. Shawn Michaels made a heartfelt speech at Raw tonight, and hugged HHH, his real life best friend after the speech.

The point of all this is that this particular last match, and retirement,was expected. The moment I am going to discuss was not, at least to the FANS anyway.

At WrestleMania 27, Edge was in a match to defend his World Title against the Royal Rumble winner, Alberto Del Rio. Inexplicably, at the PPV, the match , a WORLD TITLE MATCH, mind you, was put on first. Why WWE did that, I have NO clue. Being that it was for the World Title, and I know Smackdown is the red headed stepchild, but really. They could have started with the Rey/Cody match. Maybe it is just me, but I think when you have a World Title match, it should be higher up on the card than the curtain jerker spot. Anyway,in an excellent, 10 minute match where both Edge’s sidekick Christian, and Del Rio’s sidekick Brotus Clay (now the Funkasaurus) ran a little interference, Edge retained his World Title, and post match, destroyed Del Rio’s precious car.

Of course, we all know what happened with Edge about a week later on April 11, 2011, and the background leading up to the heartbreaking announcement. In recent interviews, Edge said that he had no idea it would be his last Mania. The plan was that they would get through the Ladder Match at Extreme Rules (where I assume Del Rio would get the belt), and he would take time off for his sore neck,but when the MRI came back, he was told he was done. He knew he planned to retire soon, but it just came sooner rather than later. He said everyone else was shocked, but he wasn’t as he knew his neck was off for some time.On a personal note, I had noticed for a few months that he seemed to be in a lot of pain, especially when he was hit in the left arm. I remember from his book when he started having neck issues, the left arm would go numb.Well, on that Raw after the 2011 Rumble, when Del Rio hit him with the guitar, even though he was selling, I could see him flexing his left hand trying to get the feeling back in. I was wondering if his neck was starting up.

The moment, at least to me, is incredible. Yeah, there were probably some who thought it was his last, but evidently it wasn’t the case. I thought after the ladder match he would take time off, but unfortunately it wasn’t to be. Yes, HBK retired, but I knew it was coming. Edge said he was going to retire within the next couple of years way back in June 2010, but I figured it would be in 2012 (right about now, and even he said this year’s Mania would have been his last had he not been forced to retire). It was just when I was trying to mentally prepare for Edge’s eventual retirement, that is when Edge made that announcement on Raw. It was so shocking. I just was not ready. I had such a crisis of faith as well. The realization that he had just wrestled at his last Mania was very hard to take. The finality of it. What’s even harder is the realization is that he can never wrestle again.

The great thing about it, though, is that a great wrestler , gets to leave on top, as champion. That does not happen a lot in wrestling. I am so glad, and so proud, as his fan, that he got to do that.

Edge’s Entrance and Match Only: http://youtu.be/O4shJ7k33kk

1. Shawn Michaels “Boyhood Dream” Coming True at WM 12 in Anaheim, CA

Well, here is the moment that for me is the best WrestleMania Moment EVER. It was at WrestleMania 12 at the Anaheim Pond in Anaheim, CA. It was in the Main Event, which was the 60 minute Iron Man Match. The two contestants were “Hitman” Bret Hart, who was the defending champion, against Shawn Michaels. The backstory is that Bret was going to take some time off, and Shawn was going to be pushed as the young man going for his “Boyhood Dream” of becoming WWE Champion.

Bret Hart made his usual entrance, and Shawn made this fantastic entrance that could be a moment in itself. He was wearing white and silver tights, and came down this wire from the rafters onto the floor. Great image. Anyway, after the rules of the match were laid out, etc, the two went back and forth in what I thought, and still think was a fairly good match. I personally am not in love with this particular match, despite the two participant, and despite many fans’ being in love with it. Anyway, in the last couple of minutes of the 60 minute regulation, Bret had Shawn in his sharpshooter, and Shawn would not give up. The time expires, and here was Bret, thinking he retained the belt, walking away, and all, but not so fast, the late Gorilla Monsoon announces that in case of a tie, they go into overtime. Let’s say the Hitman was not happy. He runs in and tries to finish off Shawn, but it was not to be. Shawn had to hit Sweet Chin Music twice to put the Hitman away, but Shawn won his first of four WWE/World Championships.

It is the post match moment that I just love. That moment of him with the belt. His looking at the belt, and cradling it. What a moment. That image of the man who would go on to become the Showstopper, the Headliner, the Main Event, or as I call him, the Greatest of All Time, with his belt is just amazing and will always be my favorite WrestleMania moment ever.

The moment is at about the 7:50 point, but this is the last 2 minutes of regulation: http://youtu.be/NpOZxSkp2DU

Well, that is my list. I hope you all enjoyed it.

Terri Bey currently blogs for CamelClutchBlog.com about Wrestling, NFL, and other sports/pop culture related subjects. Her work has appeared in BleacherReport and for F4WOnline.com. Terri can be found here at Facebook- http://www.facebook.com/TerriBey and at Twitter- http://www.twitter.com/giopontifan

WWE: WrestleMania 29 DVD

WWE: Bret Hitman Hart – The Dungeon Collection

Grab discounted WWE DVDs, merchandise, t -shirts, figures, and more from the WWE Shop on Amazon.com

WRESTLEMANIA XXVII
From The Georgia Dome in Atlanta, GA
April 3, 2011

BACKGROUND
WrestleManias these days are more like the Super Bowl than ever before. In the NFL’s biggest annual game, while the outcome determines a champion, thus making the game the most relevant part of the weekend, the lure and aura of the halftime show, commercials, and interminable pre-game shows loaded with puff pieces draw in the casual viewer.

With WWE’s ratings and buyrates waning incrementally from the Attitude Era’s ending, Vince McMahon has discovered other ways to appeal to the casual viewer, especially come “WrestleMania season.”

In the last year and a half or so, World Wrestling Entertainment has dove into the deep end of social networking. You can’t sit through more than five minutes of Monday Night Raw anymore without Michael Cole prattling on in his cacophonic shriek about “hashtags” and “trending” and whatnot. Wrestlers tweeting threats to each other on off-days, usually in character, have begun to replace traditional story elements of tag team miscues and title shot demands as a means of fueling feuds and grudges.

With Twitter and Facebook as prime means of communication, it’s no doubt that WWE would exploit any chance to reach potential viewers.

Of course, WWE also continues the time-honored tradition of immersing past stars into the present story world. In recent years, we’ve seen Chris Jericho run afoul of Hall of Famers like Ric Flair and Ricky Steamboat on the Road to WrestleMania. One year later, Vince McMahon and Bret Hart modified their years of bad blood into a three month story arc that culminated in one of WrestleMania’s most unlikely matches.

With a Georgia Dome to fill, and fans to get talking, WWE brought somebody in off the bench to help ensure the likelihood of both. It had been nearly seven years since he was last seen….

But finally……he came back.

THE EVENT
On February 14, 2011, a day devoted to love, wrestling fans jilted by the loss of WWE’s classic spontaneity and assertiveness were greeted to the sports entertainment equivalent of John Cusack standing below their bedroom window with a boombox.

One week after Vince McMahon announced a special guest host for WrestleMania, The Rock showed up in Anaheim, to an ungodly ovation from fans who had missed one of the sport’s greatest heroes. Dwayne Johnson systematically riffed on The Miz and John Cena, the two would-be main eventers, the latter in particular for some scathing public comments. Cena had derided Rock for leaving WWE completely behind in his pursuit of Sunset Boulevard, and now “The People’s Champion” was back to dress down his verbal attacker.

For weeks, Rock and Cena exchanged jibes back and forth so often, you’d think they were facing off at WrestleMania. Instead, Cena (who won #1 contendership at Elimination Chamber) would be challenging The Miz for the WWE Championship. Miz became a secondary figure to Rock and Cena’s trash talk, even while Michael Cole was championing Miz as “the most must-see WWE Champion in history.”

Ahh, Michael Cole’s heel turn. That ties into WrestleMania as well, as Cole, now pro-heel to the hilt, kept getting under the skin of Jerry Lawler, his longtime partner. When Lawler attempted to become WWE Champion in his only-ever shot, and felt short vs. The Miz, Cole rubbed it in to Lawler in antagonistic fashion. Emotions spilled over when Cole let slip that Lawler’s now-dead mother watched her son lose, and “The King” finally put his hands on his partner.

Soon enough, a match would be signed, with Jack Swagger as Cole’s trainer, and Stone Cold Steve Austin (what did I say about classic acts?) as the guest referee.

We haven’t even mentioned the Royal Rumble winner yet. Alberto Del Rio won the only 40-Man Rumble in history, and selected Edge, the World Heavyweight Champion, as the hilltopper he wished to knock off the summit. This feud had the added advantage of involving Christian, whom Del Rio put out of action in the fall of 2010. The reunited brothers (not friends, screw you WWE) banded together against Del Rio, his servant Ricardo Rodriguez, and protégé Brodus Clay.

To add more star power, The Undertaker’s streak of eighteen WrestleMania wins would be put on the line. Rumors swirled about who would try to end the mark. First, former UFC Champion Brock Lesnar was considered, but a deal never occurred. Then Sting was to jump from TNA, but re-signed with the company in the eleventh hour. Finally, Triple H stepped in, and engaged in weeks of tremendous dueling promo monologues with The Dead Man. The one from March 28 involving Shawn Michaels was some of WWE’s best TV to date.

CM Punk would face Randy Orton in a war over some of Orton’s past acts of aggression. And speaking of aggression, Orton would take out each of Punk’s Nexus flunkies on the road to their showdown.

Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Josh Mathews provided commentary, with Jim Ross and Booker T joining in later. Keri Hilson performed America the Beautiful. The Hall of Famers included Shawn Michaels, The Road Warriors, Paul Ellering, Sunny, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Abdullah the Butcher, Bob Armstrong, and Drew Carey.

THE RESULTS
World Heavyweight Championship: Edge def. Alberto Del Rio in 11:10
(Not only did the Royal Rumble winner open the show, but he also lost, looking like quite the “chumpstain” in the process. This would be Edge’s final match before retiring due to spinal injuries, but at least it was a really good opener. But still, why did it have to open?)

Cody Rhodes def. Rey Mysterio in 12:00
(This was quite an important match, as not only was it really good, but it showed that Rhodes can shine in a role outside of being Randy Orton’s lackey, or Ted Dibiase’s co-conspirator. If you wonder why Rhodes is trusted with a serious push, look here)

Kane/Big Show/Kofi Kingston/Santino Marella def. The Corre in 1:35
(As of this match, Santino Marella is 2-0 at WrestleMania, and Big Show is 3-8. Let that sink in)

Randy Orton def. CM Punk in 14:48
(If the crowd wasn’t so restless by this point, and if the night didn’t have a sour tone overall, this would be remembered as something more. Damn good match, but greater things lie ahead for both. Especially Punk about three months later….)

Michael Cole by Jerry Lawler by DQ in 13:42
(Why yes, this got more time than the first two matches. Coupled with The Rock wasting fifteen minutes at the start of the show with a cheerleading session, and you see why Sheamus and Daniel Bryan’s US Title match was bumped. The only good this match provided was getting Jim Ross to do commentary for the rest of the evening. Watching Cole on extended offense is like watching a midget do a caber toss)

No Holds Barred: The Undertaker def. Triple H in 29:26
(Not the five star classic some were hailing it as, but still a match of the year contender, surpassed by Christian/Del Rio a month later, and then Cena/Punk at MITB and Summerslam. Just a wild brawl with an insanely intense last few minutes. Undertaker springing back from the dregs of death to make Triple H tap out was heart-stopping excitement, and it pretty much saved the show. 19-0)

John Morrison/Trish Stratus/Snooki def. Dolph Ziggler/Michelle McCool/Layla in 4:00
(I’ll say it: Snooki + WWE’s make-up team = mildly attractive. She filled out those shorts nicely, even if I find her repulsive otherwise. Morrison snubbed Trish for much of the post-match, out of protest for Melina not getting to be on the show, and would fall out of favor with WWE entirely, leaving by year’s end. Actually, factoring in Layla’s near year-long injury, and Dolph is the only one still there)

WWE Heavyweight Championship: The Miz def. John Cena in 16:10
(If there’s one thing Miz doesn’t know how to do, it’s put on an epic match. Pedestrian, Raw-like, and building to nothing exciting, the match ended in a double countout before Rock restarted it, just so he could screw Cena with a Rock Bottom. Then Miz, after winning, got one too, and Rock celebrated to end the show. Really, that was the ending. The Seinfeld finale was better conceived)

ITS PLACE IN HISTORY
Rock and Cena would immediately begin to hype their one on one match for a year later, but the fans were still coming to grips with the show that they’d just been fed. Bryan/Sheamus bumped? Edge opening? Rock rambling in horrible segments? Cole wrestling for fifteen minutes? Snoop Dogg hosting a sing-off? No title changes? SNOOKI?!?!

Four of the matches (Edge/Alberto, Rey/Cody, Punk/Orton, Taker/HHH) were all WrestleMania worthy, and keep this from being a complete clunker. That said, there were so many head-scratching decisions involved with WrestleMania XXVII, you’d think Vince McMahon was bound and gagged backstage while Vince Russo and Herb Abrams ran amok with the booking sheet.

As for the show’s most enduring image, it has to be The Rock. It was supposed to be, theoretically, a night for Cena and Edge, two longtime heroes, to wage war with two upstart villains, Del Rio and Miz, in championship matches, but they were mere appetizers. Rock leading the fans in a chant exhibition, and then cavorting around with Mae Young and Peewee Herman…..this was somehow necessary, according to WWE.

Rock standing tall to close the show is the official portrait, and that pretty much sums up the show’s downfall.

Justin Henry is a freelance writer who splits time between this site, WrestleCrap.com, and FootballNation.com. He can be found via his wrestling Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/wrestlecrapjrh

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WRESTLEMANIA XXVI
From University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale, AZ
March 28, 2010

BACKGROUND
One of the biggest differences between WWE and TNA is that when WWE utilizes older wrestlers, it’s to their maximum.

In the fall of 2009, TNA went ahead with a considerable end-run to bolster their roster, with the target of running a monster three-hour episode of Impact, live on Monday, January 4, up against Raw.

To sweeten the pot and lure in casual fans not familiar with TNA, the company brought in Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff to be major players, while negotiating with Scott Hall, Sean Waltman, Ric Flair, and Jeff Hardy, as well as other familiar faces.

WWE, knowing that TNA was going to bring their best laid plans to that Monday night, countered with something that would shock fans all over the world.

On January 4, 2010, for the first time in over twelve years, Bret “The Hitman” Hart would return to Monday Night Raw.

WWE Fans didn’t know what to think. Bret Hart, really? The same man who, while he’d done a few side ventures with WWE in recent years, had a rocky relationship with the company that embarrassed him on PPV with the “screwjob”? The same Bret Hart that locked horns with the company when the two sides became embroiled over who was responsible for the death of Bret’s brother, Owen?

Indeed, Hart showed up on January 4 in Dayton, OH, where he’d won the 1993 King of the Ring tournament.

To add to the surreal nature of Hart even standing in a WWE ring, he called out longtime nemesis Shawn Michaels. Hart had Michaels removed from the 2006 Hall of Fame ceremony, not wanting him there to witness his speech.

On this night, Hart and Michaels shook hands, and then embraced with a hug, dropping the jaws of fans around the world.

Only in WWE.

THE EVENT
Edge made a surprise comeback after a near six-month injury layoff, and won the 2010 Royal Rumble from the #29 spot. Edge waited to pick the champion he would face, and it paid off when he selected Chris Jericho, who won the World Heavyweight Championship three weeks later at Elimination Chamber.

Jericho and Edge had won the Unified Tag Team Titles in the summer, and then Edge bowed out with the mentioned injury. Jericho chose Big Show as his replacement, and then would off-handedly slag Edge for his shortcomings. Edge would taunt Jericho with threats of spearing him, getting the fans to yell, in Pavlovian fashion, “SPEEEEEEEEEAR”. Jericho’s improbable title win on February 21 meant he might have to eat his words at WrestleMania.

On the opposite brand, John Cena won the Raw Elimination Chamber match, winning Sheamus’ WWE Championship. Immediately after the grueling contest, Vince McMahon, who was on bad terms with Cena after he’d stood beside Bret Hart (explanation forthcoming), sent Batista to the ring for an immediate title match. Batista mauled Cena to win the belt within seconds.

Cena had a chance for a WrestleMania rematch if he could beat Batista in a non-title rematch the next night on Raw. Batista got himself disqualified intentionally, due to his hatred of Cena, his success, and what he stood for. In fact, Batista made it clear that when the two men had their skyrocketing career paths parallel each other just several years earlier, Cena got more love and Batista admitted that he was jealous.

Batista also made it clear that Cena had never, ever beaten him, and promised that WrestleMania, in front of the world, would be no different.

But back to Hart, Vince McMahon had assaulted him at the end of the January 4 Raw, continuing the bad blood that had existed since 1997. McMahon would spend over two months ripping Hart for hanging onto the past, claiming that he’d made “The Hitman”. Bret, however, would get a chance at revenge as he’d challenged Vince to a street fight.

McMahon accepted, but after Bret attacked him, Vince would renege. After Hart was then injured in a car accident backstage, McMahon would accept, thinking Bret was too hurt. However, after Vince signed the contract, Hart proved that his injuries were merely a ruse to get Vince to agree, and that the accident was all a set-up. Hart would have his chance to get 12 years worth of revenge after all.

Speaking of revenge, Shawn Michaels had some in mind as well.

Michaels lamented not ending The Undertaker’s WrestleMania streak one year earlier, and became obsessed with doing so.

Shawn Michaels had cost The Undertaker the World Heavyweight Title at Elimination Chamber, doing whatever he could to get a rematch at WrestleMania, so that he could end the streak. After weeks of hounding “The Dead Man”, Michaels finally got Undertaker’s attention. However, Undertaker would only accept the match if Michaels agreed to put his career on the line.

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Michaels implied acceptance, saying “If I can’t beat you….I have no career.”

Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Matt Striker called the action from ringside. Fantasia Barrino performed “America the Beautiful”. Entering the WWE Hall of Fame were Ted Dibiase, Antonio Inoki, Wendi Richter, Mad Dog Vachon, Gorgeous George, Stu Hart, and Bob Uecker.

THE RESULTS
Unified Tag Team Championship: The Miz/Big Show def. John Morrison/R-Truth in 3:24
(Miz and Morrison get a “make up call” from one year earlier, and get to be on the actual show. Of course, it gets 1/3 of the time as their dark match from last year. Life’s just not fair)

Triple Threat Match: Randy Orton def. Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase in 9:01
(This was decent, and did what it was supposed to do in elevate Orton, but Rhodes and DiBiase’s slap fest was so horribly goofy that it became hard to take either man seriously. Some Mania debut for both)

Money in the Bank: Jack Swagger def. Kane, MVP, Christian, Dolph Ziggler, Matt Hardy, Shelton Benjamin, Kofi Kingston, Drew McIntyre, and Evan Bourne in 13:44
(Swagger was an interesting choice for a winner. And by “interesting”, I mean “odd”. He’d become World Heavyweight Champion two nights later in one of the most forgettable reigns in recent memory)

Triple H def. Sheamus in 12:09
(Ever feel like Orton and Hunter were punished for their crappy main event from last year by being stuck in the first half of the show? Match was pretty good, actually. Sheamus deserves more love)

Rey Mysterio def. CM Punk in 6:30
(Damn good match, but way short. Mysterio had to go “straight edge” if he lost, as if that were a heelish thing to have to do. “How dare that villain infringe on Rey’s right to take HGH! That cad!”)

Lumberjack Match: Bret Hart def. Vince McMahon in 11:09
(All of the Hart siblings, as well as the Hart Dynasty, surrounded the ring for a match in which Bret slowly and meticulously stomped Vince and beat him with a chair for eleven minutes. Well, it’s fine by me. By the way, look at the match’s time. What date was Montreal again? 11/09! CREEPY!)

World Heavyweight Championship: Chris Jericho def. Edge in 15:48
(Like Jericho’s previous WrestleMania World Title match, this had no heat, seemed a bit awkward, and is not often remembered. It’s a shame, because it was a pretty good match, but Edge’s entire face schtick centered around him bellowing “SPEEEEEEEAR!!!” which does nothing for anyone)

Michelle McCool/Layla/Vickie Guerrero/Maryse/Alicia Fox def. Mickie James/Beth Phoenix/Kelly Kelly/Gail Kim/Eve Torres in 3:26
(The last major WWE appearance of Mickie “Lesbian Stalker” James. I’ll always have the memories)

WWE Heavyweight Championship: John Cena def. Batista in 13:31
(A bit abbreviated, but still a damn good outing. Cena and Batista have pretty good chemistry when they’re not bogged down by pointless stipulations, as they were in subsequent rematches. Batista’s face when Cena kicked out of the Batista Bomb is a sight to behold)

Career vs. Streak: The Undertaker def. Shawn Michaels in 23:59
(Not quite as “epic” as last year’s match, but epic nonetheless. Gah, I’m splitting hairs here. This was a great match, and a great way for Shawn Michaels to go out. I hope, unlike Flair, he stays retired and lets his tremendous legacy tell the story of how amazing a performer he was. I hope when Undertaker retires one day, he has the sense to do the same. Great ending to the show)

ITS PLACE IN HISTORY
I never would have guessed, in 2010, that we’d see Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels wrestle on the same show ever again. Hart and Michaels were, at one point, both retired simultaneously, until Michaels found the itch to wrestle again in 2002.

Hart’s match wasn’t really a match as it was a slow beating. Michaels’ match was an enthralling epic, considered the best match of 2010.

But for both men, WrestleMania XXVI was about closure.

For Hart, it was about giving the fans “one more match”, the one he’d wished for at his Hall of Fame speech in 2006. Sure, it wasn’t anything great, but it was one more Sharpshooter in front of millions of fans, as a way of putting some of his bitterness into his past.

For Shawn Michaels, it was one last great performance. The most talented wrestler the world has known stole the show once more, from peers young and old. He could now rest his battered body forever.

A photo surfaced one day after WrestleMania with both Hart and Michaels smiling, congratulating each other after the show had ended.

If you can think of a more appropriate portrait for this show, I’d like to see it.

Justin Henry is a freelance writer who splits time between this site, WrestleCrap.com, and FootballNation.com. He can be found via his wrestling Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/wrestlecrapjrh

WWE: WrestleMania 29 DVD

WWE: Bret Hitman Hart – The Dungeon Collection

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WRESTLEMANIA XXV
From Reliant Stadium in Houston, TX
April 5, 2009

BACKGROUND
There have been many to criticize WWE for not knowing their history, often distorting facts and erroneously relaying anecdotes with the frequency of a con man on the witness stand. But this time, WWE is going to be taken to task for its poor math skills as well.

WrestleMania XXV was dubbed “The Twenty-Fifth Anniversary of WrestleMania”, which implies that WrestleMania began in 1984. While one may argue that the idea for event’s inception may have come from the year of Ronald Reagan’s re-election, the first event, clearly, took place in 1985.

“The Twenty-Fifth Anniversary of WrestleMania” was a repeated phrase, used dozens of times per broadcast in the weeks leading to the April 5 bonanza. It seemed almost apropos that a company would get something wrong, and then to their guns, continuing to get it wrong night after night, week after week, in every medium in which WrestleMania was advertised.

WWE can make its audience run a gamut of emotions, from “high satisfied to the point of pledging lifetime loyalty” to “wow, what made them think THAT was a great idea?” A misnomer in advertising would merely be the tip of the iceberg for a show that held high expectations.

Since WWE was demonstrating their ability to make continued miscalculations, it makes sense that they would bungle a number of other roads to their grand spectacle.

In the two world title matches, one would feature a nonsensical home invasion incident that would serve to take the story’s villain and reduce him to being a weakened oaf. The other would see the hero reveal a love triangle that featured the champion, his shrill authoritarian wife, and a seven foot monster.

Thankfully, there was one historically great match that would keep the show out of the landfill of wrestling’s mismanaged atrocities.

THE EVENT
Randy Orton would win the 2009 Royal Rumble, adding another brick to his well-built newer persona. Orton had ditched his generic “evil jock” routine, and was now bent on playing an unstable creep, whose deplorable random acts of violence were facilitated by intermittent explosive disorder (IED). The condition came to the forefront six days before the Rumble when Orton, about to be fired by Vince McMahon for insubordination, struck the boss, and then delivered a vicious punt to his head.

Orton would then target the McMahons further, horribly injuring Vince’s son Shane, and then dropping daughter Stephanie with an RKO. The latter act was done as a message to the WWE Champion, Stephanie’s husband Triple H.

After Hunter broke into Orton’s house and attempted to maim him with a sledgehammer, Orton one-upped the champion by DDTing Stephanie a week later, while Hunter was handcuffed to the ropes. Then, to punctuate his misdeed, Orton kissed Stephanie’s lifeless face while Triple H could only scream at him helplessly.

Over on Smackdown, Edge had finagled his way into becoming World Heavyweight Champion the same night he lost the WWE Title. After being eliminated from Smackdown’s Elimination Chamber at No Way Out three minutes into the match, Edge attacked Kofi Kingston and took over in the Raw match, outlasting champion John Cena and others to win the title.

In order to keep Cena out of the title picture, Vickie Guerrero inexplicably announced that Edge would defend the World Heavyweight Title against Big Show at WrestleMania. Cena, however, interrupted the signing by whispering something to Vickie, who then canceled the signing abruptly. Cena then was inserted into the match, as it was revealed that Vickie and Big Show had been having a discreet affair, and Cena had used video proof to extort his way into the match.

Speaking of depravity, Matt Hardy had double crossed his brother Jeff, costing him the WWE Title in January. Hardy had tired of Jeff stealing the spotlight designed for both Hardy Boyz, and would sign to face him in an Extreme Rules match at WrestleMania.

Also on the demented side, Chris Jericho’s obsession with the movie “The Wrestler”, starring Mickey Rourke, had brought him to rail against legendary figures who hang on for too long. Jericho would violently assault Ric Flair, Jimmy Snuka, Rowdy Roddy Piper, and Ricky Steamboat, leading to him signing for a three-on-one elimination match against the latter three Hall of Famers. Rourke would be in attendance as well.

On February 16, Shawn Michaels def. JBL in a match where the winner would have the right to challenge The Undertaker for WrestleMania, with a chance to end his streak at stake. Michaels would try to outduel Taker with the mind games, pointing out how “The Phenom” never once pinned him, and also tried to get in his head with religious overtones. Michaels was content to break his nice-guy facade, one upping The Undertaker with sneak attacks in the winding weeks as well.

Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, and Michael Cole called the entire event as a trio. Nicole Scherzinger performed “America the Beautiful”, while Kid Rock performed a song medley. The Hall of Fame saw inclusion of Stone Cold Steve Austin, Ricky Steamboat, Cowboy Bill Watts, The Funk Brothers, The Von Erichs, Koko B. Ware, and Howard Finkel

THE RESULTS
Money in the Bank: CM Punk def. Kane, Shelton Benjamin, MVP, Finlay, Christian, Kofi Kingston, and Mark Henry in 14:24
(The fans actually booed when Punk, still a face, won. That may have been the catalyst for one of my all time favorite heel runs in wrestling history. Match was solid, but nothing great, thanks to some very awkward spots)

25 Diva Battle Royal: Santino Marella won, last ousting Beth Phoenix and Melina in 9:26
(I refuse to dignify this crap any further. You can’t make me)

3 on 1 Handicap Elimination Match: Chris Jericho def. Rowdy Roddy Piper, Jimmy Snuka, and Ricky Steamboat in 8:53
(Jericho’s point about legends needing to go away was vindicated by Piper and Snuka wrestling like, well, Piper and Snuka. Steamboat looked amazing for having a 15 year layoff, and he and Jericho salvaged a crap match with just four minutes of work)

Extreme Rules: Matt Hardy def. Jeff Hardy in 13:13
(An underrated match sees both men have as violent a spotfest as possible. Hilarious moment: Jeff misses a pointless ladder leg drop, Matt hits a chair-wrapped Twist of Fate (which looked SICK), wins, and JR screams of how Matt has ruined the moment for Jeff. Uhh, Jim? Matt’s trying to win too)

WWE Intercontinental: Rey Mysterio def. JBL in 21 seconds to win the title
(The first time the Intercontinental belt is defended in the “WWE” era at WrestleMania, and it goes twenty one seconds. What a way for JBL to go. I did enjoy Rey’s “Joker” tribute though)

The Undertaker def. Shawn Michaels in 30:41
(If not for this match, we’d be talking about WrestleMania XXV the same way we talk about WrestleMania IX, or even an orphanage burning down. Just dramatic as could be throughout, and it deserved all the accolades that it received. It’s one of the five or ten greatest WrestleMania matches ever, and it saved the show)

World Heavyweight Championship: John Cena def. Edge and Big Show in 14:42 to win the title
(It wasn’t as bad as it could have been, as it did have a number of creative double teams and wild moments. But Cena winning (again), Show jobbing (again), and much of the action just seemed so derivative. It was alright)

WWE Heavyweight Championship: Triple H def. Randy Orton in 23:34
(They decided to blow off one of their hotter angles with a slow, awkward, punch-filled alleged brawl in which the crowd, all 70,000+ of them, was totally dead. Orton losing failed to get any kind of reaction, and you’ve noticed that Triple H hasn’t been involved in a major World Title program since)

ITS PLACE IN HISTORY
There was a Tag Team Title unification match scheduled for the show, with John Morrison and The Miz taking on Carlito and Primo, but due to time constraints, the match was relegated to the pre-show. Those fans who didn’t check the internet during the show didn’t realize the match had already taken place until near the end of the night.

It seems about right that WWE would take four hard working young talents and excise them from the main card in favor of the Divas Battle Royal, which had a 10 minute concert that no one liked, followed by 10 minutes of insulting “wrestling”.

This is one of those nights where WWE seemed to not know what the fans wanted. Triple H won to no reaction. John Cena won, again, to the misery of his detractors. Piper and Snuka waddled through the motions while the two aforementioned teams got pushed aside.

But at least, with Undertaker and Shawn Michaels, the fans were treated to a half hour of no pointless swerves, no cutesy self-congratulation, and no overbooking to build to another show. Instead, two of the greatest wrestlers in history wrestled, and they wrestled well.

So at least we had that.

Justin Henry is a freelance writer who splits time between this site, WrestleCrap.com, and FootballNation.com. He can be found via his wrestling Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/wrestlecrapjrh

WWE: WrestleMania 29 DVD

WWE: Bret Hitman Hart – The Dungeon Collection

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