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WWE Wrestler of the Week: December 27th, 2013 – January 2nd, 2014

January 03, 2014 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

Happy new year to everyone as we welcome the first WWE Wrestler of the Week in 2014. However, the decision for a winner was not easy. There were three potential candidates. Three nominees are what we will call them in Daniel Bryan, Big E Langston and Brock Lesnar. Bryan has seemingly joined the Wyatt Family, while Langston has been nearly unstoppable since becoming Intercontinental Champion. However, we can’t ignore the return of the Beat Brock Lesnar, whose 2014 debut was cut short by another kind of beast.

On the final SmackDown of 2013, Bryan defeated Damien Sandow with the running knee in a showdown of former Money in the Bank winners. However, it was on Raw where Bryan made some interesting noise. He faced all three members of the Wyatt Family in a gauntlet match. First, Harper was defeated, followed by Rowan. Bryan would defeat Bray by disqualification to finish the match. After being attacked by all three members, Bryan agreed to join the Wyatt Family.

I think this has a lot of potential with Bryan in the Wyatt Family. He could be leading the Wyatts into a trap that ultimately has him defeating the group once and for all. However, I think it would be a great move if Bryan were to lead the faction. Bryan has been playing the role of underdog to everyone in WWE as of late. He will always be an underdog. One way for Bryan to even the odds is to become the leader of a group. The Rock had the Nation of Domination, Triple H had D-Generation X and even Hulk Hogan had the New World Order. Bryan could do wonders as the leader of the Wyatt Family.

While Daniel Wyatt may be joining WWE soon, Intercontinental Champion Big E Langston is business as usual in the company. On Smackdown, Langston defeated Dean Ambrose in a midcard champions fight. There had been talk on WWE.com about the potential of unifying the two midcard titles. I don’t see this as necessary, but I am certainly not against it. There’s no reason to have two midcard titles without one being a specialty. I say keep the Intercontinental title and then reintroduce the Cruiserweight or Hardcore Championship. On Raw, Langston defeated the most recent number one contender for his title in Fandango. Here’s a question to consider – when was the last time Langston lost? Answer: it’s been almost two months!

Our final nominee didn’t have any matches, but Brock Lesnar did what he does best on Raw this week. Triple H, his old nemesis, reintroduced the beast. Lesnar, through Paul Heyman, vowed to become WWE World Heavyweight Champion. The beast will face the winner of the John Cena-Randy Orton match for the title. It should be noted that Lesnar, a former member of the Minnesota Stretching Crew, may face the champion at Elimination Chamber. The February pay-per-view will take place where? Minneapolis, Minnesota. Lesnar’s feud before then may be against the World’s Strongest Man Mark Henry who interrupted the beast on Raw. Lesnar put a nice beating on Henry and perhaps we will see these two square off in the near future.

So who deserves the weekly award? Bryan, Langston or Lesnar? I have a hard time giving it to Langston since this week didn’t seem any different than the past four, despite the continuous success. Lesnar is also a tough call since he just returned and didn’t have any matches. Bryan’s joining the Wyatt Family may have the most potential after this week and therefore, I award WWE Wrestler of the Week to Daniel Bryan.

Who do you think deserves WWE Wrestler of the Week? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below or tweet me @sethmikey

Seth Guttenplan is the owner of GuTTWrenchPowerBlog. When Seth is not writing about wrestling, he is a Special Education teacher in New Jersey. To read more from Seth, follow him on twitter (@sethmikey) and visit http://guttwrenchpowerblog.com

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WWE Wrestler of the Week: December 20th – 26th, 2013

December 27, 2013 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

Welcome to the final full WWE Wrestler of the Week for 2013. Just like last year, the Christmas week editions of Raw and SmackDown were jokes. Most of the storylines take a break and WWE tries to give the fans a very positive show heading into the holidays. This week was not any different, but one part of the storylines that did continue includes our winner.

While Big E Langston, CM Punk and John Cena were all winners on Raw and Smackdown, there was a heel that came out victorious and a number one contender. This week’s winner is Fandango.

On Smackdown, Fandango was victorious against Kofi Kingston. These two wrestlers have been midcard guys for their whole career so normally this match wouldn’t matter much. However, don’t forget that Fandango also was victorious over Dolph Ziggler during TLC’s pre-show.

Speaking of Ziggler and Fandango, the two new rivals squared off in a present on a pole match on Raw. The winner, Fandango, became number one contender for Big E Langston’s Intercontinental Championship. The outcome of this match gave me two thoughts.

First, this is the second time Ziggler has lost a number one contender’s match for the Intercontinental title. Last time, he lost to Damien Sandow who would go on to lose to Langston at TLC. A match between Ziggler and Langston would be very intriguing as they used to be friends. However, with both wrestlers being babyfaces right now, it doesn’t seem likely to happen.

The second thought I had after this match between Ziggler and Fandango is it looks as though Langston is just going through the midcard heels on the roster. Langston could have continued the feud with Sandow, but instead WWE just drops the Intellectual Savior of the Masses out of the title picture. If Fandango loses to Langston and Alberto Del Rio or Wade Barrett become the next challenger, then my theory seems correct.

As for Fandango and his award-winning week, perhaps this is just what fans thought they were going to see back in April. When Fandango’s entrance music became a hit the night after WrestleMania 29, I thought he was going to get a push as a result. In fact, Fandango was supposed to be in a triple threat match for the Intercontinental title against Barrett and the Miz until a concussion prevented him from competing.

Remember what happened? Curtis Axel was inserted into the match and won the title. He kept the gold until Langston won it.

Time will dictate if this week is a way of WWE changing their minds back to what they wanted in April or if Fandango is just another rung on Langston’s ladder to the top of the company. With only one world champion now in WWE, the Intercontinental title’s value and prestige should improve. Langston could very well be the next Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels, Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Rock or Triple H. Wrestlers who used the Intercontinental title as a stepping-stone to the world title. Or perhaps Fandango will become champion and do just that. Maybe we will find out at the Royal Rumble. Or maybe we will find out sooner.

Who do you think deserves WWE Wrestler of the Week? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below or tweet me @sethmikey

Seth Guttenplan is the owner of GuTTWrenchPowerBlog. When Seth is not writing about wrestling, he is a Special Education teacher in New Jersey. To read more from Seth, follow him on twitter (@sethmikey) and visit http://guttwrenchpowerblog.com

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WWE Wrestler of the Week: November 15th-21st, 2013

November 22, 2013 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

Welcome back to another edition of WWE Wrestler of the Week! We are just two weeks away from the one year anniversary of this column. Many WWE Superstars have won this award and this week we have a brand new winner. But first, we have two different honorable mentions to discuss.

The Miz made some headlines this week when he reverted back to the old heel Miz almost exactly a year after turning babyface. Last year, the Miz turned good just in time for WWE Survivor Series. Unfortunately, his face run was a complete disaster. He won the Intercontinental title, but beyond that, didn’t accomplish anything. It is unfortunate as I thought he would have made a great babyface to compliment the work he does for WWE outside the ring. Nonetheless, Miz deserted his tag team partner on Raw, Kofi Kingston and solidified his return to the dark side. Now, Miz will face Kofi during the Kickoff to Survivor Series.

Another wrestler I want to give an honorable mention to is Xavier Woods, who made his Raw debut this past Monday. Woods teamed with R-Truth to defeat 3MB. It is great to see another NXT Superstar making it to the main roster. I have only recently been watching NXT on a regular basis on Hulu so I wasn’t as familiar with Woods. However, I was still very impressed. His energy was fantastic and his two signature moves were creative and unique. Pairing him with R-Truth is somewhat questionable though. I like that it is different from how other NXT alumni have debuted on the main roster, but R-Truth is at the end of his career. This is a good starting point for Woods and I am looking forward to him showcasing more of his talent.

Now, to our winner. Like Woods, he is an NXT alumnus. He is a former NXT champion as well. In fact, thanks to a friend on Twitter, I learned that he is the first wrestler to become NXT champion and win a WWE title in the same calendar year. This week’s winner of WWE Wrestler of the Week is Big E Langston.

Langston reached the highest level of success in career thus far when he defeated Curtis Axel for the Intercontinental Championship on Raw. This was the right move for both Langston and Axel. Langston has been super impressive from the start, but has had the crowd behind him for sure since turning babyface. Putting a midcard title proves that WWE believes in Langston as part of the future and choosing the Intercontinental title was the right choice.

Axel wasn’t going to achieve any more than this midcard title. Plus, his stock is only going down with Paul Heyman off television. Axel is best off in a tag team. When Ted Dibiase Jr. was in the WWE, I thought pairing those two would be a good move. With Ryback joining Heyman, I could have seen Axel joining the Big Guy to form a tag team. WWE decided to move Ryback away from Heyman for some reason.

Two NXT Superstars made it to this column this week and by the looks of it, there are many more to come. Langston, the WWE Wrestler of the Week, will defend his title in a rematch against Axel and let’s just hope it’s another win for the former NXT champion.

Who do you think deserves WWE Wrestler of the Week this week? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.

Seth Guttenplan is the owner of GuTTWrenchPowerBlog. When Seth is not writing about wrestling, he is a Special Education teacher in New Jersey. To read more from Seth, follow him on twitter (@sethmikey) and visit http://guttwrenchpowerblog.com

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Showing Respect for the WWE Intercontinental Title

November 19, 2013 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

The WWE got it right on Monday night when it put the Intercontinental Title on the waist of Big E Langston when he defeated Curtis Axel. In a move that was both needed and warranted, it opened the door for new feuds over the title and a chance to see if Axel really has a place in the company as a self-made man rather than a member of the Paul Heyman machine.

Langston’s rise through the mid card shows the company’s desire to keep titles on big men in the mold Vince McMahon created almost 30 years ago.

But with the change in titles, who faces the neophyte and will a solid feud come from a challenger? Personally, I think Ryback becomes the guy to make that move. Two big behemoths in the ring matching move for move. It could be what Mark Henry and Ryback were supposed to be earlier this year. Since Ryback himself is no longer a “Paul Heyman Guy,” how he reacts to a sudden bump in the food chain can only help him grow as a wrestler. Right now, Ryan Reeves is nothing more than a jobber and needs a place in the company before he becomes extinct.

But with the move to change titles on Monday on live television, what now becomes of Axel? He may not have gotten over with the WWE Universe as he was thought to be able to – but there may be some reason for that. He started out fast, winning matches over Triple H and John Cena and then fizzled out once he won the title on Father’s Day. For six months he walked around with a title to defend, but had no one to challenge him.

Countless attempts with R-Truth, Kofi Kingston and others failed. Dolph Ziggler would have had to carry a match with him and there really is no place for him in the singles division.

He won the World Tag Titles before with David Otunga – which put him on the map, I cannot see anyone else stepping up to be a partner with him in the division. So instead of making things a bit easier for the WWE, it may have in fact created a mountain out of a mole hill.

Don’t get me wrong, I like the Langston move, but for the money, the company probably needed to think things through a bit.

Would a re-characterized Fandango (as Johnny Curtis) be the right man to team with Axel? Would he be the right man to challenge Langston? Maybe a Seth Rollins solo act would capture the title. And does this mean that if Axel lost the title on Monday, Dean Ambrose will soon drop the United States Title?

With the WWE changing stripes again, I also wonder if Langston is just a transitional champion and he and Axel trade the belt back and forth over the next two pay-per-view event. Tis the season of giving.

The Intercontinental Title used to be the second most revered title in the WWE. Tito Santana, Pedro Morales, Greg Valentine, The Honkytonk Man, Ricky Steamboat and Randy Savage all held it and honored it.

The WWE is doing nothing of the sort and in a way, making a mockery of it and an embarrassment to what Vince McMahon Sr. did in terms of its prestige. Not only does the company need to find solid champions to carry the strap, it needs to find solid long-term challengers.

And for that matter, make the Intercontinental and United States Titles prominent on Main Event and SmackDown, which would boost ratings.

But most of all, show the title the respect it deserves.

Follow David on Twitter @davidlevin71

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WWE SmackDown Results April 19 and Recap

April 22, 2013 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

This week’s WWE SmackDown! opens with Fandango and Anonymous Broad heading down to the ring. Lilian Garcia enters the ring, and Fandango begins fondling her. He tells her she’s looking excellent tonight, then asks if she’s ever been dipped before. Have you ever made moves on anyone before? Lilian, have you ever Fandangoed before? It feels good. Real good. Fandango then spins her and goes to kiss her, but instead dips her before telling her that was terrible. Fandango then drops Lilian in the middle of the ring. He tells her she’s beautiful, but there’s nothing beautiful about the way she dances. You’re just like each and every one of these people who butcher his name and mock his dance. Can you at least pronounce his name correctly? Pay attention: It’s FAN…

Santino Marella comes out on the stage and calls him “Fandingo”. Fandango is a very rude person, the way he talks to the WWE Universe and the way he just treated Lilian. Hi, Lilian. It pains Santino to admit it, though: Fandango has some good moves. That dance looks like so much fun. In fact, he really hopes if the WWE Universe doesn’t mind if Santino does his version. But first, he’d like to introduce his dance partner…it’s the Cobra. Together, they are going to do a 2-step all over Fandango’s face. Santino begins dancing to Fandango’s entrance theme, getting in Fandango’s face in the process. Fandango eventually charges at Santino, but Santino low-bridges him to the outside.

MATCH 1: Fandango (w/Anonymous Broad) vs. Santino Marella
Fandango immediately attacks Santino and throws him to the corner. Santino counters a corner whip and mocks Fandango, so Fandango kicks him. Boot to the head by Fandango, and now some mounted punches. Santino fails at a kip-up, so Fandango stomps him some more. The “You can’t wrestle!” chants have already started. Forearm shots in the corner by Fandango, and then he slams Santino face-first into the mat. Santino once again fails at a kip-up, and Fandango goes for more mounted punches before applying a cravat. Fandango snaps him back to the mat, then rubs himself. Santino succeeds at the kip-up this time, hits some rights, does the splits and hits a hip toss and a saluting headbutt. He goes for the Cobra, but Fandango blocks it and hits a variation of the Flatliner to get the 3.

WINNER: Fandango.

We see Booker T and Teddy Long in Book’s office. Book tells Teddy things are different now. Teddy didn’t consult him when making a match Monday night between Swagger and Ziggler. The Big Show walks in and thanks Teddy for giving him a tag team partner against Sheamus and Orton. Unlike some who put him in a handicap match, Teddy had the foresight to make sure he’s in a situation where he won’t get injured. Book then stares at Teddy as Teddy leaves.

MATCH 2-Champion vs. Champion: WWE United States Champion Kofi Kingston vs. Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett (non-title)
Lock-up to start, and Wade backs Kofi into the corner. Kofi ducks a right and hits some kicks. Wade counters an arm wringers with a right hand, then begins hitting some elbows to the back of the head. Kofi flips out of an arm wringer and snaps off a hurricanrana for 2. Wade shoulders Kofi off the ropes, and a crisscross ends with a dropkick by Kofi for 2. Kofi applies a top wristlock, and Wade fights out before hitting some straight left jabs. Kofi ducks one and hits a side-Russian legsweep before hitting a kick to the chest. Kofi hits a springboard splash from the middle rope for 2. Wade begins to fight back, but runs into a Pendulum by Kofi. Kofi goes up top, but Wade boots him in the face, sending him to the floor. Wade follows outside, where he continues striking Kofi before slamming him into the announce desk. Back in the ring, Wade rolls Kofi over for the pin, getting 2. Wade sets Kofi horizontally across the top rope, hitting a running kneelift to the gut. Wade goes for the pin again, getting another 2 before applying a rear chinlock. Kofi fights out of the hold with lefts and rights until Wade hits a kneelift and sends Kofi to the corner. Kofi blocks the charge and mounts the middle rope, but Wade whips him back to the mat for 2. Wade drops an elbow off the ropes before going back to the chinlock. Kofi fights out once more, ducks a clothesline, ducks another and gets caught with the Winds of Change. He tries to counter the move into a crucifix, but Wade drops backward into a modified Samoan drop for 2. Kofi holds on and counters the pin into a crucifix and gets the 3.

WINNER: Kofi Kingsotn. Not the best outing for these two, but still a solid match. These two are pretty much always guaranteed to deliver when they face each other.

Renee Young stops Mark Henry in the back to ask why he’s been attacking Sheamus. He says it’s because he can, and that’s just what he does. Sheamus then runs in and tackles Henry through a table and tells him that’s what he does, fella. These two feuded once before, and it was surprisingly entertaining, so I’m okay with WWE renewing this feud.

MATCH 3: Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo Rodriguez) vs. Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Colter)
ADR starts with a side headlock, and Swagger immediately goes to the injured left leg. ADR attacks Swagger’s injured shoulder, causing a clean break. ADR goes into a waistlock, and Swagger counters. ADR counters into an armbar, but Swagger fights him off. Swagger hits a kneelift and a hip throw. ADR shoves him off, and Swagger hits a shoulderblock. They go for a crisscross, but ADR lands badly on his injured leg. Swagger capitalizes and kicks him in the knee before dragging him to the ring post from the outside. ADR fights him off, kicking him into the barricade. ADR heads outside and nails Swagger with a kick to the chest before slamming the bad arm into the steps. Back in the ring, ADR goes for the pin and gets 2. ADR kicks Swagger between the shoulders for another 2. Swagger blocks a suplex and hits his own. Back up, ADR counters a corner whip. Swagger back drops him coming in. ADR lands on the apron, but his leg gets caught on the top rope. Swagger hotshots the leg, then knocks ADR to the floor. Commercials.

Back from the break, Swagger has a step-over toehold applied on ADR. ADR kicks him off, then hits a big kick to the bad arm. He jumps off the middle rope, and Swagger shoulders him in the bad leg on the way down for 2. Swagger drags ADR to the middle where he applies a legbar. ADR punches his way out of the hold. Back up, he ducks a clothesline and counters into a crucifix for 2. Swagger gets back up and hits a shoulderblock. Foot choke by Swagger now, but ADR begins to fight back. Swagger backs ADR into the corner and hits a series of kneelifts before working over the bad leg through the ropes. Swagger hits a short-arm clothesline, getting 2. Swagger begins ripping the bandage off of ADR’s knee and strikes it before going for the step-over toe hold again. ADR punches Swagger off and goes for the step-up enziguri, but Swagger ducks and hits an elevated belly-to-belly suplex for 2. ADR rolls to the apron, and he applies a jujigatame on the bad arm over the top rope. Back in, they trade strikes until Swagger kicks the bad knee. ADR ducks a running boot and hits a pair of clotheslines and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. However, ADR does it over his bad knee, putting himself down in the process. Swagger rolls to the apron, and ADR pulls him through the middle rope, hitting some forearm shots to the back and a Backstabber for 2. ADR calls for the rolling jujigatame, but Swagger counters and picks him up. ADR counters into a sunset flip for 2, then locks Swagger into the jujigatame. Swagger counters into the Patriot Lock. ADR manages to get a rope break, so Swagger breaks it and hits a Swagger Bomb to the back for 2. ADR tries to counter the Swagger Bomb the second time, but Swagger grabs the feet. He goes for the Patriot Lock again, but ADR kicks him in the bad arm and hits a double-knee armbreaker. ADR picks Swagger and goes for the rolling jujigatame, but Swagger shoves him off to the floor on the outside. ADR makes in before the count and hits a thrust kick to the face, getting 2 as Swagger grabs the ropes. Swagger trips ADR and gets the Patriot Lock on, but ADR rolls through and applies the jujigatame. Swagger gets back to his feet and tries to pin ADR, but ADR rolls through and rolls him into a pin for 3.

WINNER: Alberto Del Rio. Match was so-so, but had a nice finish.

We get a video for the Ryback/Cena feud. I don’t know if they’re planning on turning Ryback full heel right now, but it might not be a bad idea.

The announcers are talking about The Shield when the group interrupts. They talk about beating down John Cena this past Monday night, as well as Ryback watching on as Cena got beat down without helping out. Ryback knows how justice feels. He doesn’t want any more of their justice, and the look on Ryback’s face on Monday night was the same as the face on the Undertaker two weeks ago. They saw fear in ‘Taker’s eyes. He was terrified, and has never been so relieved to see Kane and Daniel Bryan. ‘Taker may be undefeated at Wrestlemania, but The Shield are undefeated, period. ‘Taker has run the company for 20 years, but all legends eventually get pushed aside, and ‘Taker’s time is up. Believe in The Shield.

MATCH 4-6-Person Tag Team Match: The Great Khali, Hornswoggle and Natalya vs. Epico, Primo and Rosa Mendes
I am still standing by my policy that matches involving Hornswoggle as a legal competitor will not be recapped. I apologize to his fans out there, but I’m sure both parents understand. Rosa looks good at least. This match apparently came about after an altercation in the parking lot between the two teams. Khali pins Epico after a Punjabi Plunge.

WINNERS: The Great Khali Hornswoggle and Natalya.

“From the Vault” segment featuring Berserker vs. “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka from 1991. Did anyone else find it strange when Snuka inexplicably started wearing boots to wrestle in when he spent so many years doing it barefoot? And speaking of footwear, I remember when Berserker joined WCW and started wrestling as John Nord. Despite no longer doing the Viking-type gimmick, Nord continued to wear the big furry boots for his matches, which was really weird.

MATCH 5: Mark Henry and The Big Show vs. Randy Orton and Sheamus
Sheamus and Henry start the match and begin yelling at each other. Henry decides to immediately tag in Show instead of fight. Show comes in, and the two immediately trade punches with Show getting the best of it. He drops Sheamus over the top rope onto the apron, then hits several open-hand chops to the chest, knocking Sheamus to the floor. Back in the ring, Sheamus cuts Show off on the apron with a hotshot, then nails Show with several forearms to the chest. Show shoves Sheamus into the corner, and Sheamus boots him in the knee before going up top. Show sees the Battering Ram coming, and Sheamus lands on his feet. He turns around into a kick from Show. Show goes for an elbow drop, but misses. Orton tags in and fires off some rights until Show throws him to the corner. Orton fights out, but gets hit with a sidewalk slam off the ropes. Headbutt by Show, and now Henry tags in. He chokes Orton over the middle rope. Orton fights back with rights before getting caught in a bearhug. Orton fights his way out, but Henry picks him up and rams him into the corner by Show. Show tags in and hits a body blow on Orton, knocking him down. Show hits another one in the middle of the ring. Orton begins to fight back, but runs into a goozle. However, he counters the chokeslam into a DDT. Sheamus tags in, ducks a clothesline and hits a pair of flying forearms. He rams Show into the corner, hits a running kneelift and follows up with a Battering Ram. White Noise connects, and now Sheamus calls for the Brogue Kick. He sees Henry run towards Show on the apron, so Sheamus knocks him down before getting hit with a spear by Show. Commercials.

Back from the break, Show knees Sheamus in the head. Sheamus tries to fight back from his knees, but winds up running into a clothesline. Show hits the Final Cut for 2. Bodyslam by Show, and now he tags in Henry. Henry applies a trapezius claw. Sheamus fights out before running into a big boot by Henry, which gets 2 as Orton breaks up the pin. Show tags in and hits a running body blow on Sheamus as Henry holds him up. Sheamus falls into the corner, where Show hits another body blow. He stumbles across the ring to another corner, and Show hits an open-hand chop. Sheamus starts hitting some rights until Show hits a kneelift and applies a trapezius claw of his own. Show picks Sheamus up and hits a forearm across the back before going back to the claw. Show throws Sheamus to the corner and hits a running hip bump. He goes to the ropes, and Sheamus comes out of the corner with a chopblock. Orton and Henry tag in. Orton ducks a clothesline, hits some kicks and punches, ducks a clothesline and finally knocks Henry down with one of his own. Orton hits a DDT on Henry from Henry’s knees, getting 2. Henry rolls to the apron, and Orton goes for the suspended DDT. Show comes in and hits Orton across the back. Henry tags Show in, and as Show is climbing in over the top rope, Orton catches him with the suspended DDT. Orton calls for the RKO, but Henry comes in and clotheslines him. Sheamus tackles Henry through the ropes, sending them both to the floor. Show gets up and hits the chokeslam on Orton, getting 3.

WINNERS: The Big Show and Mark Henry.

End of show.

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WWE SmackDown Results April 12 and Recap

April 14, 2013 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

This week on WWE Friday Night SmackDown, Triple H will appear for the first time in a long time. Also, the NEW World Champion Dolph Ziggler will be making an appearance. I cannot tell you how excited I am to finally see him wearing the gold (yes, I know he was champ for 15 minutes once, but even Ziggler himself doesn’t count that reign).

Big E. Langston makes his way onto the stage to formally introduce the new champ. Ziggler, AJ Lee and Langston make their way down to the ring. Ever since he debuted, he’s been the most physically gift athlete in wrestling, and that’s an understatement. People would look at him and just knew that he was the future of the company, and this World title proves the future is now. Each and everyone of you feels like you’re a part of this. You chanted for him at Wrestlemania despite not being in the match. Then, the next night at RAW, when he made history…the WWE Universe would love to join in on this celebration. But the fact is that the title and that moment belong to only one person, and that’s Dolph Ziggler. He didn’t win the belt because of the fans; he did it in spite of us. All of his life, people have ridden his coattails for whatever reason, but no matter what, you will never be him when you look in the mirror…

Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter appear on stage, and Zeb has a mic in-hand. Ziggler isn’t happy and wants to know what they’re doing out here. Zeb formally introduces himself to Ziggler, and he congratulates Ziggler for what happened on Monday night. Beyond that, as far as the title is concerned, everyone in the WWE Universe knows who to thank for Ziggler’s success, and that’s Jack Swagger. Ziggler says this is his interview time and celebration. Jack, you had your chance at Wrestlemania and you blew it, so go to the back of the line. This is Ziggler’s time. Swagger starts to get in the ring, but then backs down when he realizes he’s outnumbered. Zeb tells Ziggler he should be grateful and give Swagger what he wants and deserves. The feed I have scrambles here, so I’m not sure what was said next by Zeb or Swagger. Ziggler tells them to stop playing Swagger’s music, then says that you can watch what happened on Monday night on DVR, but no one will ever be…

Alberto Del Rio now interrupts. Ziggler asks if ADR is here to steal the spotlight, or if he’s just bummed out because he’s no longer champion. Or, is he out here to get his rematch? If that’s the case, hobble on down and he can have the rematch right now. ADR says he didn’t come out to complain or anything; he came out here to say congratulations. He knows how it feels to cash in the MITB contract. That’s how he won the WWE title, and it feels great. But, when his ankle heals and he gets his rematch, Ziggler will be the one crying and complaining, perro. Until then, hasta la vista, baby.

Ziggler then asks for ADR’s music to be cut off. This is HIS night and HIS celebration. He’s sick of being interrupted. The next person that feels like they need to interrupt him will see why he is the real World Heavyweight Champion. No one comes out for a moment, and as Ziggler starts to talk again, Chris Jericho interrupts. Jericho asks him to please shut the hell up. Congratulations on winning the title, but you’re babbling about everything, including your crazy girlfriend AJ. AJ covers her ears and begins to scream as the fans chant “Crazy!” at her. Ziggler talks about being a show-off; Y2J is the original show-off, baby. It’s time to stop talking and start rocking. Jericho just came from Booker T’s office, and he had some very interesting information for everyone, including Ziggler. He refers to Ziggler’s fans as “Dolphins”. The news is that his very first match as champion is going to be Jericho himself, and it will be later tonight. And when you’re finished with the match, Ziggy Stardust, you will never, ever, EVER be the same again.

You know, JBL is a decent color commentator, but hearing him say “We fight on Friday night” all the damn time is really obnoxious.

MATCH 1: The Prime-Time Players (Titus O’Neil and Darren Young) vs. WWE Tag Team Champions Team Hell No! (Daniel Bryan and Kane; non-title)
I am amazed Kane and Bryan are still champions. I was certain Ziggler and Langston were going to win on Sunday. Oh, well. Ziggler’s WHC now, so it’s all good. Titus starts off with strikes on Kane. Kane counters into a pair of corner clotheslines. Up top, Kane hits a flying clothesline and calls for the chokeslam. Young tags himself in and runs into an uppercut. Bryan in now, and Kane sends him into Young with a corner whip into a corner dropkick. Bryan fires off some No! Kicks, but telegraphs a back body drop. Titus back in and Bryan ducks a double clothesline. Kane comes back in and chokeslams Young. Bryan applies the No! Lock on Titus, and Titus taps out.

WINNERS: Team Hell No! Man, that was short. The Shield appear on the TitanTron after the match and Dean Ambrose talks about the Brothers of Destruction reuniting, and hopes they don’t think The Shield is afraid. Gotta have a brain to survive, and that’s knowing where and when to strike. They don’t back down or ever run from a fight. Believe that. Believe in The Shield.

MATCH 2: Santino Marella vs. Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett (non-title)
Barrett starts with a side headlock before shouldering Santino down. Santino shoves him and ducks a clothesline, but Barrett nails a mule kick to the gut and hits an elbow to the back of the head for 1. Santino tries to kip up, but can’t do it. Barrett goes into a mount and hits some punches for 2 before going to a rear chinlock. Santino fights out, but gets hit with a knee to the gut. He avoids being sent into the corner before running into the Winds of Change for 2. Barrett signals for the Bull Hammer as Santino finally does the kip-up correctly. He ducks a clothesline, hits a few punches, a hip toss and a saluting headbutt for 2. Santino goes for the Cobra, but Barrett kicks the arm away and absolutely levels Santino with the Bull Hammer for 3.

WINNER: Wade Barrett.

Teddy Long and Booker T are in Book’s office talking when Sheamus interrupts. He wants to know why Book overruled him on Monday night, then booked a match against Randy Orton later on. Randy Orton steps in and is basically complaining about the same thing. Book starts to explain when Teddy interrupts. He says this is Book’s mistake, not his. Book says that Big Show was wrong, and he’s going to right that wrong. Both Sheamus and Orton want Show, and they’ve got it in a 2-on-1 Handicap match tonight. After they leave, Book then stares at Teddy.

MATCH 3: The Bella Twins (Brie & Nikki) and Tamina Snuka vs. The Funkadactyls (Cameron & Naomi) and WWE Divas Champion Kaitlyn
Kaitlyn and Snuka start the match, and Snuka immediately goes on the attack, knocking Kaitlyn down. Kaitlyn quickly recovers with a spear and goes for the pin. One of the Bellas breaks it, so Kaitlyn spears her. The other Bella tags in, and Naomi tags in, hitting a springboard cross-body and a flying headscissors. Rear View connects, and Naomi mounts the middle rope, but the other Bella yanks her to the floor. Cameron takes her out on the floor, and in the ring, one of the Bellas whips Naomi down by the hair and gets the 3.

WINNERS: The Bella Twins and Tamina Snuka. A hair whip ends the match? For f*ck’s sake.

Triple H makes his way out to the ring now. He says he told us the ass kicker’s back. He told Brock Lesnar they wouldn’t wrestle or fight, but that they were going to war. Well, they went to war, and Paul Heyman can make any excuses…

3MB of all people interrupt Trips’ celebration. Heath Slater tells Trips to shut up and listen up. Apparently, around here, you have to jump one of the big dogs to get noticed, and what bigger dog is there than Triple H? You think that battle with Brock Lesnar was bad? You ain’t seen anything yet, because 3MB is about to rock your face. 3MB surround the ring as Trips throws down the leather jacket. Before they can attack, The Shield’s music hits, and we see them coming down through the crowd. The Shield yank the members of 3MB off the aprons and destroy them on the floor before staring Trips down in the ring. They now jump on the apron, but before they can attack, Team Hell No! hits the ring to even things up. The Shield decides to head for higher ground.

In Booker T’s office, we see Book and Teddy arguing. Big Show enters, so Teddy leaves. He asks about the match tonight, and Book says it’s because he stuck his nose in business that didn’t concern him. Show says this is typical of Book’s bias against him. How about Show messes up his plans and just leaves the building? With his iron-clad contract, he can do what he wants. Book tells him to go ahead, because he’ll do whatever he can to get that contract destroyed in court. If Show wants to stay, though, his match is next.

MATCH 4-2-on-1 Handicap Match: Randy Orton and Sheamus vs. The Big Show
Orton starts for his side and attacks Show with kicks and punches. He corners Show and hits more punches and kicks. Show hits a sidewalk slam off the ropes before walking across Orton’s stomach. Show hits a body blow, then follows up with a bodyslam before mounting the middle rope, missing an elbow drop. Sheamus tags in, tackles Show and hits some punches. Sheamus hits a pair of Irish Hammers and a clothesline before shouldering Show in the corner and hitting a running kneelift. However, Show rebounds and hits Sheamus with a spear before nailing Orton with another body blow. Show grabs Orton, but Orton surprises him with an RKO. Sheamus calls for the Brogue Kick now, nails Show and sends him to the floor. Show manages to get to his feet, but instead of going back to the ring to make the count, he heads up the ramp instead.

WINNERS VIA COUNT-OUT: Randy Orton and Sheamus.

We see Orton and Sheamus heading back to the locker room, and they’re happy about getting some revenge. Orton walks off as Renee Young stops them for an interview. Sheamus tells her it did take two of them to take Show down, but it still felt sweet, and heart is what matters, not how big and strong you are. As Sheamus says this, Mark Henry clobbers Sheamus from behind, sending him through a table.

MATCH 5: WWE United States Champion Antonio Cesaro vs. Kofi Kingston (non-title)
Cesaro starts with an armbar. Kofi flips out of it, but gets clobbered. Cesaro hits some mounted forearm shots, then nails a straight right. Kofi comes back with a sunset flip for 2, but Cesaro rolls through and nails Kofi for 2. The deadlift gutwrench suplex hits, and now Cesaro yodels before hitting a running European uppercut in the corner for 2. Cesaro applies a mounted rear chinlock before just whipping Kofi down. He misses the double stomp, and Kofi hits a pair of double chops and a dropkick. He goes for the leaping clothesline, but Cesaro counters with a Very European Uppercut for 2. Cesaro charges into the corner, and Kofi counters with a pendulum kick. Up top, Kofi goes for the pumping cross-body, but Cesaro catches him. He looks for snake eyes, but Kofi slides out and shoves Cesaro into the corner. Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise and gets the 3.

WINNER: Kofi Kingston. I am very disappointed with how WWE has been booking Cesaro lately.

Fandango and his anonymous broad make their way out. It absolutely kills me that fans have latched onto Fandango solely for his entrance music. Granted, the music is insanely catchy (I have it set as both my ringtone and morning alarm), but it’s still hilarious, especially when Fandango still is average-at-best in the ring and still has an awful gimmick. I am interested to see if WWE latches onto this or if they pay attention to it for a couple of weeks before deciding to ignore it, as is the norm. The fans are “Fandangoing” by chanting along with the entrance theme here in Boston similar to Monday, only not quite as loud. Still pretty audible, though. Looks like he’ll be looking on during the main event, which means his feud with Jericho likely isn’t over.

MATCH 6: World Champion Dolph Ziggler (w/Big E. Langston and AJ Lee) vs. Chris Jericho (non-title)
Lock-up to start, and Jericho quickly armdrags Ziggler. Another lock-up, and Jericho applies a side headlock this time. Jericho shoulders Ziggler off the ropes, and a crisscross ends when Jericho chops Ziggler in the chest. Suplex by Jericho, but Ziggler begins to fight back with shots to the gut in the corner and follows up with a jumping avalanche. Ziggler hits a few more shots on Jericho in the adjacent corner before sending Jericho into the opposite corner. Jericho blocks a charge and hits a missile dropkick for 2. Jericho chokes Ziggler over the middle rope. AJ trips him, and that allows Ziggler to hit a rocker dropper for 2. Commercials.

We’re back, and Ziggler mocks Jericho with a posing pin. Jericho begins to fight back with rights before getting caught with a neckbreaker for 2. Ziggler applies a rear chinlock, complete with a headstand. Ziggler lands on his feet, turning the hold into a modified inverted STF before rolling back into a rear chinlock. Jericho gets back to his feet, but Ziggler cuts him off with some punches. Jericho comes back with a running forearm and a couple of shoulder tackles before Ziggler sends him to the outside. Jericho lands on his feet on the apron and goes to the top, connecting with a double axe handle. Jericho goes for a bulldog, but Ziggler shoves him off and hits a leaping DDT for 2. Jericho ducks a clothesline and dropkicks Langston through the ropes before knocking Ziggler down and following up with a top rope cross-body for 2 as Fandango and Jericho lock eyes. Ziggler pops back up with a gorgeous dropkick for 2. Jericho blocks the Zig-Zag and tries to roll Ziggler into the Walls. Ziggler rolls through, but Jericho knocks him down and hits the Lionsault for 2. Fandango jumps on the apron, so Jericho hits him with a springboard dropkick. Ziggler comes from behind and hits another rocker dropper and gets the pin with a handful of tights.

WINNER: Dolph Ziggler. Jericho attacks Ziggler after the match. Langston comes in, so Jericho hits him with a step-up enziguri. He scares Fandango off the apron, and that allows Ziggler to hit the Zig Zag. Langston gets back up and hits the Big Ending. So much for “Sudden Impact” being the name of his finisher. Fandango gets back up and gets in the ring. He dances for a moment, then begins attacking Jericho. Fandango dances some more, then jumps to the top rope. More dancing, and the guillotine legdrop connects. His anonymous broad gets in the ring and Fandango announces his own name as she does the splits. The fans go from booing Fandango mercilessly to chanting along with his theme music in a matter of seconds.

End of show.

As always, feel free to follow me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/xdustineflx ,and if you like Married…With Children, you can follow my Al Bundy parody account at http://www.twitter.com/bundyisms. Also follow my personal blog at http://nerdslikeme.blogspot.com (feedback is welcome). Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out my mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:

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-Dustin

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WWE SmackDown Results March 29 and Recap

March 31, 2013 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

This week’s WWE Friday Night SmackDown opens with the reigning WWE Champion, The Rock, making his way into the arena. We are just about a week away from Wrestlemania, so I guess they are trying to give him as much screen time as possible. About a month ago on RAW, Rock did “Story Time With The Rock”. He felt it should continue tonight, and the reason why is because, at 15, he moved with his family from Nashville, TN to a little town about an hour away from here, that being Bethlehem, PA. At 15, he was 6’4” and 220 lbs., rocking a creepy mustache. He asks if we want to see a picture of him at that age, and we see the same picture that’s been floating around on the internet.

He calls himself “looking like a bouncer from Menudo”, then demands the picture be taken off the screen. One of the great benefits of living in Bethlehem, he was an hour away from a special town. In that town, he and his friends went to a special park, rode some rides and ate some chocolate (they’re in Hershey, PA, BTW). He rambles for another minute before doing his “Finally…” bit. He continues telling stories about his childhood, talking about trying to find a Whatchamacalit candy bar. He found one, but someone else grabbed it. That night, he said something to that person, and that something was, “If you don’t put down that candy, I’m going to kick your candy ass.” Just like that, two seconds later, that old lady put that candy down and got the hell out of that store. Bottom line is that “kicking your candy ass” started right here in Hershey. A man will go to great lengths to get what he wants. That means candy bars, as well as beating John Cena at WM29. Last Monday on RAW, Cena got in his face and Rock kicked his candy ass. At WM29, Cena will come back with more passion and fire, but Rock will keep kicking his candy ass if Cena steps to him, and he’ll do it in front of the millions and millions…

Oh, great. John Laurinaitis is back. He comes out just before we go to commercials.

We’re back, and Johnny Ace is now in the ring with Rock. Rock asks who in the blue hell Ace is. Ace says everyone knows who he is. His name is Mr. John Laurinaitis. He is the former executive V.P. of talent relations, and the former GM of the WWE. Rock says he doesn’t give a crap, and Ace interrupted story time. Ace says Teddy Long gave him permission to talk to Rock right now. Everyone thinks he’s going to talk too long and end up getting a Rock Bottom. That won’t happen, though, because he and Rock are a lot alike: Rock is the “People’s Champion”, and Ace created “People Power”. He was the greatest GM of all time, and it was ended by John Cena. Cena is the same reason he’s back tonight. The point is, John Cena will do whatever he needs to do at WM29, so he’s got a business proposition for Rock. At this point, Ace offers to be in the corner of Rock at WM29. The people may not like it, but does he want to be popular, or does he want to win? With Ace in his corner, there is no way Cena will beat him at WM29. In Rock’s corner, Ace can guarantee victory. He then compares them to a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup. Rock says he loves those cups, but he feels it’s appropriate to involve the people. He asks if the fans would like to see this stale, old, indigestible, stick to the roof of your mouth until you want to vomit piece of peanut butter team up with the most electrifying piece of chocolate the world has ever seen? The crowd obviously boos, so Rock has a proposition for Ace now. It’s not a Rock Bottom. How about together, they send Cena a message together? Ace likes the idea, and Rock says the first part of the business deal is a handshake. Ace shakes his hand, and Rock won’t let go. Rock smiles for a moment and pulls Ace in for a spinebuster before hitting the People’s Elbow. Rock then tells Cena his candy ass is going down again, if you smell what The Rock is cookin’.

MATCH 1: Chris Jericho vs. Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett (non-title)
The Miz is on commentary for this match. He gets a shot at the IC title at WM29 as a result of defeating Barrett on Monday night in a non-title match. Lock-up starts the match, and Barrett turns it into a side headlock before shouldering Jericho off the ropes. Jericho comes back with chops and a back elbow. He follows up with a dropkick before clotheslining Barrett to the floor. Jericho baseball slides him before slamming him face-first into the apron. Back in the ring, Jericho lays in some kicks until Barrett fires off some rights and headbutts. He stomps Jericho down in the corner, and Jericho counters a corner whip. Barrett backdrops Jericho to the outside, where he lands feet-first on the apron. Jericho starts to climb to the top, so Barrett boots him to the floor. Commercials.

We’re back, and Barrett has Jericho locked in a rear chinlock. Jericho fights out and knocks Barrett down with a pair of shoulderblocks. Barrett tries to throw him to the floor, and Jericho lands on the apron, goes to the top and comes off with a double axe handle. Barrett dodges the Lionsault, and Jericho runs right into the Winds of Change for 2. Jericho blocks a corner charge and goes up top, hitting a cross-body for 2. Jericho comes off the ropes, and Barrett catches him over his shoulders Jericho counters into a crucifix and tries to turn it into the Walls, but Barrett fights out. He charges in at Jericho, and Jericho sends him to the floor. Jericho goes for an inside-out plancha, but Barrett moves out of the way, sending Jericho crashing to the floor. Barrett rolls Jericho into the ring before talking some trash to Miz. Barrett eventually gets back in the ring and runs right into a Codebreaker by Jericho.

WINNER: Chris Jericho. Jericho says he’d love to savor this victory with every single Jerichoholic in this arena tonight, but as we can all see, the stage set-up indicates the man he’ll be facing at WM29 will be making his grandiose entrance. The problem is Jericho still can’t pronounce his name proplerly, but he’s going to try again. Jericho makes fun of Fandango’s name a bunch of time, ending with a lyric from Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody”. Fandango’s music hits, and his anonymous broad comes first, followed by Fandango himself. Fandango begins to stomp down to the ring, so Jericho goes to the apron and invites him to come in as the “You can’t wrestle” chants begin. Fandango backs off and twirls his broad around a few times before heading to the back.

We get an interview from earlier today with Josh Mathews interviewing Paul Heyman. Heyman stops the interview and says WM29 is a “must-lose” situation for Triple H. He meant not just Triple H’s in-ring career with this match, but his corporate career. After this match is over, Triple H will have to sit back and watch everyone else do what he loves, because Lesnar will take that option away from him. As a result, Trips will resent the entire locker room, because he will be jealous of them. The locker room will rebel against that jealousy and rise up against him. After all these years, Trips made the two biggest mistakes of his life: first, Trips thought he could compete intellectually with Heyman. Second, he thought he could compete physically with Brock Lesnar. Trips is no match for either of them.
Up next, Ryback faces Mark Henry in a “Bench Press Challenge”.

We get a “From the Vault” segment, which features a women’s tag team match between The Glamour Girls and The Jumping Bomb Angels. I certainly don’t mind seeing these segments, but I’m not sure why they’re featured on the show in this way.

Booker T and Teddy Long are on stage with a bench press set up. Tonight, before their match at WM29, two of the most powerful men in WWE will prove who is the strongest. This contest is also used in the NFL, and it’s called the “Bench Press Challenge”. Book first introduces Ryback. We find out the barbell holds 225 lbs., and the contest will be who can do more reps. Before Book can introduce Mark Henry, Teddy Long cuts him off and does the introduction himself. Apparently, the record for this weight is 51 reps. Book steps in between Henry and Ryback and tells them not to violate the “no-contact” clause, or they will be banned from WM29. Teddy and book then argue over who is going first, and Long tells Henry he’s up first. Henry does 53, which would break the record, but no officials from Guinness are here, so I guess it doesn’t matter. Ryback ties it at 53, and as he goes for 54, Henry grabs the barbell and begins pressing it against Ryback’s chest and throat, attempting to choke him. Technically, Henry only touched the bar, so he hasn’t violated the clause. And yes, I realize this set-up probably wasn’t regulation and the weights may have even been props. I’ve been around powerlifting and bodybuilding long enough to know better.

MATCH 2: AJ Lee and Dolph Ziggler (w/Big E. Langston) vs. WWE Tag Team Co-Champion Daniels Bryan and WWE Divas Champion Kaitlyn (w/Kane)
I wish WWE would decide if AJ is going by just AJ or using the surname Lee as well. Seems like it changes every week. The guys starts off this match with Ziggler applying a side headlock and knocking Bryan down with a shoulder off the ropes. He runs into a deep armdrag by Bryan, but fights out of an armbar. Kaitlyn tags in, which mean AJ comes in by default. AJ kicks Kaitlyn in the gut and lands a roundhouse to the face for 2 before slamming Kaitlyn’s head into the mat. She then hits a neckbreaker, rolls through and hits another one for another near-fall. AJ hits a spinning back kick, but Kaitlyn runs through her with a shoulderblock and tags in Bryan. Bryan hits a running clothesline and follows up with a corner dropkick. On the middle rope, Bryan hits a super hurricanrana, and Ziggler rolls through into a sunset flip for 2. Bryan nails several No! Kicks as AJ is distracting the referee. Langston trips Bryan, which allows Ziggler to hit a nice dropkick for 2. Kane drops Langston on the outside, and Ziggler nails him with a baseball slide. Bryan goes for the No! Lock, so Ziggler tags out to AJ. The guys fight on the outside, so AJ jumps on Bryan’s back. Ziggler kicks Bryan before he gets backdropped into the timekeeper’s area. On the apron, AJ hotshots Kaitlyn. She gets in the ring, and is immediately nailed with a spear for 3.

WINNERS: Daniel Bryan and Kaitlyn. This match was a lot of fun for being so short. Very fast-paced and high impact.

The Shield is somewhere in the back, talking about WM29. Dean Ambrose mentions clichés, and says the biggest one is Sheamus, Show and Orton claiming they can put their differences aside. Seth Rollins says they don’t stand a chance against The Shield. Their opposition will be lucky if they don’t implode before WM29. This is not a game; this is a story of justice, and the final chapter will be written by The Shield. After Wrestlemania you will believe. Believe in The Shield.

MATCH 3: The Great Khali (w/Hornswoggle and Natalya) vs. Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Colter)
Khali throws Swagger back out of a lock-up, then backs him into a corner with another one. Khali misses an open-hand chop and fires off some rights before running into a clothesline. Khali throws him back into the corner and connects with a chop this time. He throws Swagger into the adjacent corner for another chop, which also connects. He calls for the Punjabi Plunge, but Swagger breaks free and hits a series of kneelifts in the corner. Khali throws him off and hits a back elbow, followed by a big boot. Another clothesline by Khali, followed by another. He calls for the brain chop, but Swagger sees it coming and rolls to the floor. As Khali follows out, Swagger hotshots the leg and gets back in the ring, where he hits a running shoulder into Khali’s leg in the corner. Khali rolls to the floor and Swagger goes for the Patriot Lock. Khali kicks him off, so Swagger boots him in the face before applying the Patriot Lock. The ref is still counting, and gets to 10.

WINNER: Double Count-Out. Hornswoggle tries to break the hold by grabbing Swagger’s leg. Swagger and Colter corner him, and Swagger rams Hornswoggle face-first into the barricade, becoming my favorite wrestler ever in the process. Ricardo Rodriguez appears on the stage on a crutch, and he challenges Swagger to take him out a third time as he limps down the ramp. Alberto Del Rio slides into the ring and begins attacking Swagger before applying the jujigatame. Colter rakes ADR’s eyes, so Ricardo nails him with a crutch. He throws the crutch to ADR and ADR swings for the fences, but Swagger ducks both times and bails to the outside.

Video package for Antonio Cesaro.

Some woman named Renee Young is in the back with Sheamus, Randy Orton and The Big Show. She says no one would assume they could work together as a team. This segues into this past Monday on RAW, when the three of them managed to one-up The Shield by attacking first. Back to the interview, Young asks Orton how they are getting along. Orton says they have a common enemy, so it doesn’t matter. Sheamus says he’s set aside his differences with Show, and Show says he never had problems to begin with, and it’s not his problem Sheamus has trust issues. Orton steps in and says they need to focus, since they have a match tonight. Show and Sheamus agree. Orton says they’re on the same page, which is bad news for their opponents tonight, and worse news for The Shield.

Arnold Schwarzenegger has confirmed that he will be inducting his long-time friend Bruno Sammartino into the WWE Hall of Fame, which is pretty cool.

MATCH 4: Sheamus, Randy Orton and The Big Show vs. WWE United States Champion Antonio Cesaro and The Rhodes Scholars (Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow)
Before the match starts, Sandow says that, unlike this motley crew they are about to face this evening, he, Damien Sandow, his best friend, Cody Rhodes, and their esteemed colleague, Antonio Cesaro are the quintessential six-man team. Not only do they possess superior intelligence, they share a mutual distain for ignorance. Rhodes takes the mic and says their opponents have nothing common except that they are common. He refers to his team as the “instruments of their (Orton’s team) downfall”, and Cesaro yodels for a moment. You’re welcome! Orton and Cesaro start the match with a Cesaro side headlock. Crisscross ends in an Orton back elbow. Orton follows up with a European uppercut and tags in Sheamus, who beats Cesaro down in the adjacent corner. Cesaro counters a charge, then hits a series of forearms and uppercuts. Sheamus blocks a hip toss and nails a short-arm clothesline before tagging in Show. Cesaro tags out to Rhodes. Show shoves him into the corner, hits a body blow and a series of open-hand chops to the chest. He knocks Cesaro off the apron and scares Sandow off before hitting a bodyslam on Rhodes and tagging out to Orton. Commercials.

We’re back, and Sheamus & Sandow are legal. Orton tags in and hits some corner punches on Sandow before hitting a European uppercut. Sandow backs Orton to his corner for some shoulder thrusts, and Sandow then stomps him down. Rhodes tags in for a stomp, then tags out to Cesaro, who hits a double stomp for 2. He grabs Orton by the waist and hits the deadlift gutwrench suplex for another 2. Rhodes back in, and he applies a hammerlock/rear chinlock combo. Orton breaks free and headbutts Rhodes before running into a kitchen sink. Sandow tags in and pins Orton for 2. He hits a series of a kneelifts and a side-Russian legsweep before connecting with the Cobito Aquiet for 2. Sandow applies a rear chinlock, and Orton fights out. He reverses an Irish whip and counters into the 3.0. Cesaro goes to the top to interfere, and Show knocks him to the floor. Rhodes and Sheamus tag in, and Sheamus hits most of the hot tag offense before throwing Rhodes to the apron for the forearm shots to the chest. Sheamus then does the same thing to Sandow for good measure. Rhodes hotshots Sheamus and gets back into the ring, where he immediately runs into White Noise. Sheamus calls for the Brogue Kick, but Sandow and Cesaro attack him. Show knocks Cesaro out with the WMD, then throws Sandow into an RKO from Orton. They order Sheamus to hit the Brogue Kick, which he does and gets the 3.

WINNERS: The Big Show, Randy Orton and Sheamus. The Shield’s music hits, and we see them coming down through the crowd. Instead of waiting, Show, Orton and Sheamus jump the barricade and start heading through the crowd, leading to a brawl between the two teams. They brawl up to the top of the arena, where the faces are getting the best of the fight. The Shield eventually manages to get away and exit the building as Show, Orton and Sheamus pose for the crowd.

End of show.

As always, feel free to follow me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/xdustineflx ,and if you like Married…With Children, you can follow my Al Bundy parody account at http://www.twitter.com/bundyisms. Also follow my personal blog at http://nerdslikeme.blogspot.com (feedback is welcome). Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out my mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:

Gerri Davis Banner, NPC National Level Heavyweight and Masters Female Bodybuilder

-Dustin

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WWE SmackDown Results March 22 and Recap

March 24, 2013 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

On this week’s episode of WWE Friday Night SmackDown, we’re in Cincinnati, OH, and the show is opening with the hometown boy, The Miz, for another edition of MizTV. In the ring with him are Randy Orton and Sheamus. He says their world has been turned upside-down. Ryback is no longer their partner at WM29 per orders of Vicki Guerrero and Teddy Long. Orton starts and says that in his opinion, the man to replace Ryback will be The Big Show. Sheamus admits if Show didn’t come down on Monday night, they would have had their arses handed to them. However, he doesn’t trust Show.

Orton doesn’t either, but you have to do what you can to survive. Show needs them as much as they need him, and come WM29, he wants the big, bad, angry giant on his side. Miz then welcomes Show out to answer for himself. Miz thinks Show can agree with Orton’s mistrust, especially since they used to be partners, and Show ended the partnership by knocking Miz out. Show says Miz’s opinion doesn’t matter to him. As far as Orton and Sheamus are concerned, he’s done something they couldn’t, and that’s knock out a member of The Shield. He can’t stand Orton and Sheamus, but if they work together, no one can stop them. Sheamus says they’ve been to war with each other, and there’s no doubt Show is one of the toughest opponents he’s ever faced, but he’s also one of the most devious. How does he know Show won’t leave them hanging? Show says that, if he were a coward, he wouldn’t have beaten Sheamus for the title. Orton interjects and says they need to work together and get along. Miz makes fun of Orton for being the voice of reason for this group. Show starts to tell Sheamus this will work when Booker T interrupts the proceedings. Book says he needs to know if these three can work together and somehow get along, and that will happen tonight as these three team up in a 6-man main event tonight. Now can you dig that, sucka?

Later tonight, Jack Swagger faces Chris Jericho in a rematch from last week.

MATCH 1: Mark Henry vs. Zack Ryder
Henry throws Ryder into the corner and lands a big back elbow. Hard corner whip by Henry, followed by another one. Ryder escapes a running powerslam, but runs right into the World’s Strongest Slam for 3.

WINNER: Mark Henry. After the match, Henry hits Ryder with another WSS, then a third. Ryback’s music hits, and the two have a stare-down in the ring. Henry talks a bunch of trash and runs into Ryback, but gets nailed with a Meat Hook, sending him to the floor.

Teddy Long enters Booker T’s office and asks Book what he thinks about him and Vicki making the Ryback/Henry match at WM29. Book likes the match, but doesn’t like how Long handled his business. Long works for Book, not Vicki. Long says he thought he worked WITH Book, not FOR him.

Speaking of Booker T, he is the latest inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame, Class of 2013. Pretty awesome video package here. Oh, and just in case I haven’t made it clear on Facebook, anyone who says Book’s induction is “too soon” a) has no idea what the phrase means, and b) clearly doesn’t understand what constitutes a HOF career. Book most definitely deserves this induction, and his track record speaks for itself. Honestly, I hope he gets a DVD set out of this at some point.

MATCH 2: Dolph Ziggler (w/AJ and Big E. Langston) vs. Kofi Kingston
AJ will be doing color commentary during this match, and that’s fine with me. Kofi lands some kicks and punches in the corner, but Ziggler quickly comes back with a neckbreaker. Kofi decks Ziggler, hits a back elbow and a dropkick. Jumping clothesline connects, as does the Boom Drop. He calls for TIP, but Langston causes a distraction. Ziggler pops up with a beautiful dropkick off the distraction for 2. Commercials.

We’re back, and Kofi is fighting back with rights. Ziggler sends him to the counter, where Kofi counters a charge with a Pendulum. Kofi goes up top, but gets crotched and crashes to the mat for 2. Kofi fights back from his knees, but runs into another gorgeous dropkick for 2. Ziggler applies a rear chinlock, and Kofi fights out once more. Ziggler boots him in the gut, then fires off some shots in the corner. He misses a shoulder thrust, going right into the post. Kofi hits a couple of double chops and a dropkick. Spinning cross-body from the top connects for 2. Kofi goes for a springboard splash, but Ziggler blocks it for 2. He sees TIP coming off the ropes and cinches in the sleeper. Kofi backs into the corner and armdrags out of it before hitting the SOS for 2 as Ziggler grabs the ropes. Ziggler rolls to the floor as Kofi goes for a suicide dive. Langston stands in the way, so Kofi goes up top and hits a plancha on Langston. From behind, Ziggler hits a rocker dropper before throwing Kofi back into the ring. He calls for the Zig Zag, and hits it for 3.

WINNER: Dolph Ziggler. After the match, Langston picks Kingston up and hits Sudden Impact.

We see Show, Orton and Sheamus in the locker room, arguing about what’s going on in their match tonight. Orton says that, if they don’t work together, they are sitting ducks for The Shield before storming off.

Before the next match starts, Jack Swagger welcomes us to his America. Zeb takes the mic and says it’s a beautiful day in Swagger’s America, and what happened on RAW to Ricardo Rodriguez was unfortunate but necessary, and was nothing compared to what will happen to Alberto Del Rio. In Swagger’s America, if bones need to be broken, they will be. What happened to Ricardo should not only serve as a wake-up call to Ricardo, but to everyone who disagrees with what they say, and that includes Chris Jericho. Swagger catchphrase time.

MATCH 3: Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Colter) vs. Chris Jericho
Jericho starts with some forearm strikes and punches, followed by a back elbow off the ropes. Corner clothesline by Jericho, followed by a chop, more punches and a knee lift. More strikes, but Swagger blocks an Irish whip and rolls to the floor. Jericho lands a baseball slide through the ropes, then throws Swagger into the barricade. Back in the ring, Swagger pops up and hits a chop block before stomping Jericho down. Running shoulderblock hits, as does a second one. Swagger goes to the ropes once more, but gets hit with a dropkick for 2. Jericho ducks a clothesline, but gets caught by Swagger off the ropes and gets rammed into the corner. Swagger punches Jericho before propping him on the top rope. Jericho kicks Swagger away until Swagger boots him in the gut. Swagger goes for a superplex, but Jericho fights him off and knocks him to the mat. Jericho gets to his feet and hits a cross-body from the top for 2. Swagger rolls to the floor, and Jericho flattens him with a slingshot plancha. Commercials.

We’re back, and Jericho gets planted with a big boot for 2. Swagger applies a hammerlock/armbar combo, then punches Jericho in the midsection a few times. Swagger ties Jericho’s arm up in the ropes before hitting Jericho in the back with some forearm shots. He sends Jericho shoulder-first into the opposite corner, but misses an avalanche. Jericho hits a couple shoulderblocks and follows up with a double axe handle from the top rope. He hits 10 corner punches as Swagger tries to counter into a powerbomb. Jericho tries to counter that into a hurricanrana, but Swagger counters once more into the Patriot Lock. Jericho manages to roll through and send him to the outside before hitting a springboard dropkick. Fandango’s music hits and…please don’t tell me it’ll be Fandango/Jericho at WM29. Please, no. Fandango makes his way down the ramp with his random woman as, back in the ring, Swagger hits an elevated belly-to-belly suplex for 2. Jericho ducks a clothesline and goes for a crucifix for 2. He goes for the Codebreaker and turns it into a sunset flip, which he then tries to turn into the Walls of Jericho. Swagger blocks, Jericho slingshots him into the ropes before hitting a bulldog. Colter gets on the apron as Jericho goes for the Lionsault. While the ref is distracted, Fandango gets on the apron and blasts Jericho with a kick. Swagger hits the Swagger Bomb out of the corner and gets the 3.

WINNER: Jack Swagger. Fandango enters the ring after the match and beats Jericho down. Fandango leaps to the top rope and hits a guillotine legdrop. He grabs a mic and tells Jericho what his name is.

Matt Striker is in the back with Big Show, and he says it’ll be a challenge for Show to get along with his partners. Show tells Striker that Orton is right and that they need to get on the same page. They’ve all been beaten up by The Shield. Orton and Sheamus can trust him as much as they can trust each other. Trust him.

The Rhodes Scholars and The Bella Twins are in the ring. Rhodes says that, tonight, even though we don’t deserve, they bring to us a special gift. Sandow says that his best friend and he are more than proud to present to all of us, the class of the divas division, the only two women with enough beauty and intelligence to accompany the Rhodes Scholars, the Bellas. You’re welcome. I like both of these guys, and being paired with the Bellas is making it hard for me to approve of them.

MATCH 4: Brodus Clay and Sweet T (w/The Funkadactyls) vs. The Rhodes Scholars (w/The Bella Twins)
I like the fact that Cameron and Naomi deck themselves out in thigh-high socks each week. Just saying. T and Rhodes start with T nailing an uppercut. Rhodes comes back with a Goldust uppercut, but runs into a clothesline. He dodges a splash before Clay tags in. He hits a pair of clotheslines, then a back elbow on Sandow. Avalanche on Rhodes, and one of the Bellas tries to distract Clay from the apron. Cameron yanks her to the floor as Naomi tackles the other Bella. T and Clay try to pull their women off as the Scholars try to interject. The ref just throws the match out at this point.

WINNERS: No contest.

Matt Striker is now in the back with Sheamus and Randy Orton and asks if they’re on the same page. Sheamus says absolutely. They trust each other and trust Show as much as he trusts them. Trust him. No seriously, trust him.

MATCH 5: WWE United States Champion Antonio Cesaro vs. The Miz (non-title)
Wade Barrett is on commentary for this match. Okay Cesaro has dominated this feud. Move him onto something else. Lock-up to start, and Cesaro turns it into a side headlock. Crisscross ends with a Miz roll-up for 2, but he runs right into a kneelift to the face for 2. Cesaro connects with the double stomp for another 2. Deadlift gutwrench suplex hits for another 2. He yanks Miz up by ear before applying a cravat. Miz breaks free and hits some lefts, then hits a knee lift and a running boot. Hanging clothesline in the corner by Miz, and he mounts the top rope for a double axe handle. He calls for the figure-4, but Cesaro boots him off. Miz sidesteps a clothesline and dropkicks Cesaro in the knee. Miz locks in the figure-4, and sadly, Cesaro taps.

WINNER: The Miz. After the match, Miz applies the figure-4 once again while taunting Barrett. Barrett simply holds the IC title up over his head and walks away.

MATCH 6: Randy Orton, Sheamus and The Big Show vs. 3MB (Jinder Mahal, Drew McIntyre and Heath Slater)
Mahal and Orton start with Mahal hitting some strikes before running into a pair of clotheslines. Mounted punches in the corner by Orton, and now Sheamus tags in. The faces hit a double back elbow, and now Sheamus beats Mahal down in the corner. Mahal manages to fights back, but it’s cut short by Sheamus, who sends Mahal into the corner, hits a running shoulder thrust, a kneelift and a rolling fireman’s carry slam. Sheamus mocks Show with some open-hand chops in the corner, then tags in the giant. Drew tags in on the other side, and he tries to attack Show with punches. Show headbutts him, then drapes him over the top rope for the tied-up forearms, mocking Sheamus. Mahal is tagged back in, and Show hip tosses him into the ring. Mahal tags Slater, and Show does the same thing to him. Orton tags in, and he hits a jumping kneedrop. Slater boots Orton in the gut before running into a powerslam. Orton sets him up for the suspended DDT, but Mahal runs interference. Slater hotshots Orton before landing a jumping sidekick for 2. Slater stomps Orton down before tagging in Drew, who beats Orton down in the corner. Mahal tags in and hits a swinging neckbreaker as Slater tags in to get a 2. Slater hits a kneedrop before mounting the top rope. He comes off right into a dropkick by Orton, and Orton tags in Sheamus as Mahal tags in. Show hits a pair of clotheslines, a hip bump in the corner and a spear. Drew lands a big boot on Show, so Sheamus tags himself in. Show knocks Drew out with a WMD, and Sheamus drops Mahal with a Brogue Kick for 3.

WINNERS: The Big Show, Randy Orton and Sheamus. After the match, Show and Sheamus argue about the finish of the match, and Orton tries to cool things down. The Shield make their way down to the ring through the crowd. Show and Sheamus begins shoving each other and Orton gets elbowed by Show as well. The three are all shoving each other now as The Shield surround the ring. The faces stop fighting to hold The Shield off for a moment, and The Shield decide to leave things where they stand and head back through the crowd.

End of show.

Pretty much a throw-away show, but Swagger/Jericho was once again good, and Ziggler/Kofi was also very enjoyable.

As always, feel free to follow me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/xdustineflx ,and if you like Married…With Children, you can follow my Al Bundy parody account at http://www.twitter.com/bundyisms. Also follow my personal blog at http://nerdslikeme.blogspot.com (feedback is welcome). Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out my mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:

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-Dustin

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WWE SmackDown Results March 15 and Recap

March 18, 2013 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

I apologize for the delay for my recap this week. I was having problems with my internet yesterday, and the feed for this week’s show didn’t go up on YouTube until this morning (Sunday).

Looks like we’re starting the show with a match. Brad Maddox is once again on commentary for the night.

Before the match starts, Damien Sandow says that, what happened last Monday on RAW was nothing short of a professional and managerial abomination. Not only was their sure-fire victory over the New-Age Outlaws taken from them, and not only was their post-match endeavor with The Bella Twins postponed, but they were involved in a match they were neither mentally or physically prepared for against these two Bulgarians (Sheamus and Orton). His uncle Minnish Sandow told him a story once, and it goes like this…Cody Rhodes cuts him off and says they don’t deserve the story. It’s simple: Sheamus and Orton ruined their date and their night, so it’s their turn to ruin Sheamus’ and Orton’s.

MATCH 1: Sheamus and Randy Orton vs. The Rhodes Scholars (Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow)
Rhodes and Sheamus start with Sheamus hitting a hip throw. Sheamus runs through Rhodes off the ropes, but gets caught with some rights. Sheamus counters a corner whip and catches Rhodes, but he escapes and tags in Sandow. Sheamus blocks a kick, hits a short-arm and drops a leg. Sandow fights out of the corner with kicks. Sheamus counters a corner whip again, hits a running shoulder thrust, a kneelift and a pair of Irish Hammers. Sandow escapes White Noise, but gets sent to the apron, where he’s hit with the tied-up forearm shots. Sheamus knocks Rhodes off the apron for good measure, and that allows Sandow to hotshot him. On the floor, Rhodes hits the Beautiful Disaster from the announce desk. Commercials.

We’re back, and Sheamus is hit with a dropkick by Rhodes for 2. Sandow tags in and beats Sheamus down. He pulls Sheamus to the apron, where he drops a series of elbows. Sheamus fights back with headbutts, so Rhodes tags in and prevents Sheamus from making the tag. Rhodes tags Sandow back in off an arm wringer, and Sandow applies a front chancery. Sheamus fights out, so Sandow decks him before stomping him down in the corner. Sheamus fights back from his knees until Sandow boots him. Sandow charges in, but gets caught with a pair of boots. Sheamus backflips to the top, where he hits the Battering Ram. Orton and Rhodes tag in, and Orton hits 3 out of the 4 Moves of Boredom. He changes things up by hitting an exploder suplex, then hits Move 4 with the Suspended DDT. Sheamus nails Sandow with a Brogue Kick, and Orton hits the RKO on Rhodes for 3.

WINNERS: Randy Orton and Sheamus. The Shield’s music hits, as you would probably expect. Orton and Sheamus are looking all over the place for them, but we see them on the TitanTron. Dean Ambrose tells them to relax and not to be afraid. Or maybe they do. Roman Reigns says not tonight, thought. Ambrose tells them they’re standing in The Shield’s ring, and if they don’t believe it, ask The Big Show. They served justice to Show just like they’ve done to everyone else: Ryback, Sheamus, Cena, Orton, The Rock, etc. Rollins says they’ve taken Cena and The Rock multiple times, and flattened them each time. Reigns compares them to roadkill. Rollins says they take from The Shield because they’re the main event. Somehow, The Shield doesn’t even have a match at Wrestlemania, and that’s the greatest injustice he’s ever heard of. Ambrose tells Sheamus and Orton to find a partner. Orton says he’s in, and Sheamus says he’ll see them at Wrestlemania. Rollins calls Wrestlemania “The Showcase of Justice”, and we will believe in The Shield. Looks like we’ve got a 6-man for WM29.

In the main event tonight, Chris Jericho takes on Jack Swagger. Also tonight, Ryback faces Mark Henry.

Another Fandango video. Please fire this man, Vince.

We see Orton and Sheamus talking, and Sheamus says they definitely made the right choice. The Big Show walks up and says they look like they could use a partner against The Shield. He doesn’t trust either of them, but he wants that spot. They need a partner who can bulldoze anything in front of him. Orton says they agree, and Sheamus says Show is right, and that’s why they’ve picked…him. The camera pans over to show Ryback standing there.

MATCH 2: Aksana and Tamina Snuka vs. WWE Divas Champion Kaitlyn and Layla
Snuka and Layla start, and Snuka shoves Layla into the corner. Layla comes back with some kicks. Snuka blocks an Irish whip, but gets a mule kick. She ducks the Bombshell and catches the second one, shoving Layla to the mat. She whips Layla across the ring, then throws Layla to the corner a couple of times. Aksana tags in for some kicks before tagging Snuka back in for kicks of her own. Aksana back in as we see the Funkadactyls looking on from the back. Aksana puts Layla in a modified bow-and-arrow, then lets go to go for a pin, getting 2. Layla gets sent to the corner once more, where Snuka tags in, hitting a float-over suplex for 2. Layla tries to fight back, but gets hit with a knee lift. She dodges a corner charge and rolls Snuka up for 2. Kaitlyn tags in, as does Aksana. Kaitlyn hits a pair of clotheslines and a running shoulderblock. She hits an inverted DDT for 2 before going to the ropes. Snuka hits her in the back from the apron, so Aksana goes for a bodyslam. Kaitlyn escapes and shoves Aksana into Snuka before hitting a spear. Layla makes a blind tag and hits LOL for 3.

WINNERS: Kaitlyn and Layla. We see the Funkadactyls walking from the monitor when they’re stopped by The Bella Twins. They call the Twins a big influence on them. Nikki makes some stupid snide remarks, then Brie does the same thing before attacking the Funkadactyls. God, I did not miss listening to the Bellas speak. If they weren’t dating John Cena and Daniel Bryan, we’d never have to see them again. Thanks, John and Bryan.

MATCH 3: WWE Tag Team Co-Champion Kane (w/Daniel Bryan) vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/AJ and Big E. Langston)
Kane immediately attacks Ziggler with kneelifts in the corner. He hits a body blow and an uppercut before stomping Ziggler down. Kane hits a shoulder thrust in the corner, followed by another uppercut. Hip toss out of the corner before Kane sends him in with a whip. Ziggler avoids a charge, but still gets nailed with an uppercut, sending him to the floor. Ziggler plays cat-and-mouse to sucker Kane back in the ring. He hits some rights before running into a big boot. Kane hits a bodyslam, then another. Ziggler manages to hit a back elbow and some rights, but gets backdropped to the floor. He lands on the apron, though, and hotshots Kane. Up top, Ziggler hits a nice missile dropkick for 2. Ziggler hits the Show-Off Elbow for 2. Rear chinlock is applied, but Kane throws him off. Ziggler hits a drop toehold into the buckles and follows up with a leaping DDT for 2. Kane fights back with an uppercut and hits a clothesline. Delayed vertical suplex connects, and Kane follows up with a low dropkick for 2. Corner clothesline by Kane followed by another, and he goes for the sidewalk slam. Ziggler spins out and applies a sleeper. Kane breaks it by backing into the corner. Ziggler blocks a charge and comes off the middle rope but jumps right into an uppercut for 2. Kane goes up top and hits a flying clothesline. He calls for the chokeslam, but AJ jumps on the apron to cause a distraction. Meanwhile, Bryan tries to attack Langston from behind, but Langston throws him through the timekeeper’s table. Kane drops Langston with a big boot, and as he’s getting back in the ring, he hits a rocker dropper. Ziggler hits the Zig Zag and gets the 3.

WINNER: Dolph Ziggler. Kind of surprised by that ending, but the right man went over. After the match, Ziggler taunts Kane, and Kane goozles him. He looks to go for the chokeslam, but Langston runs through Kane before hitting Sudden Impact.

We get another video of Ricardo Rodriguez and ADR making fun of Swagger and Colter. This time, it’s about Canadians smuggling maple syrup into this country. This segues into R-Truth and Chris Jericho watching this video on a monitor, laughing. Swagger and Colter enter and asks if Jericho thinks it’s funny when Swagger beat him and four others at EC and put the weight of the country on his back. Jericho is no different than ADR. He snuck across the border from Canada and is now taking what doesn’t belong to him. Jericho points out he was actually born in America and calls Colter a cross between Rush Limbaugh and Yosemite Sam. Swagger should be more worried about his match against ADR at Wrestlemania, as well as his match against Jericho tonight. So, until they can beat Jericho, please shut the hell up.

More Fandango propaganda. Did Vince McMahon honestly think this gimmick would get over?

We’re supposed to have a match between Fandango and The Great Khali. However, Fandango comes out with his anonymous broad as Khali and Natalya are in the ring, and says something about interpreting the language of dance, then calls Khali’s dancing unacceptable. It’s obvious he can’t dance at all, so let’s try this: let’s see if you can pronounce his name correctly. Khail calls him Fandango, so Fandango coaches him on how to pronounce it. Khali obviously butchers it, and Fandango calls that horrible. He hopes Khali has a lot of money, because he’s going to have to reimburse everyone here, since they’re going to once again miss out on the debut of Fandango.

Matt Striker is in the back, and he announced the 6-man mentioned earlier has been made official. He’s standing by with Sheamus and Randy Orton. He asks Sheamus about the odds being evened up with Ryback on their side, and Sheamus says the odds are now in their favor. Orton says we’re about to get a sample of Ryback in his match with Mark Henry in a few moments. Just as Sheamus is about to speak again, The Shield assault both guys, and Striker becomes a casualty of war in the process. They throw Orton into the wall a few times before throwing Sheamus through a table.

After the commercials, we see Booker T, Teddy Long and some officials checking on Sheamus and Orton. Ryback walks up and asks what happens. Book tells him they’ve got this, and right now, Ryback needs to deal with Mark Henry.

MATCH 4: Mark Henry vs. Ryback
Lock-up to start, and Ryback eventually backs Henry into the corner. The Shield’s music hits right away, and we see them enter through the crowd. Henry bails, and the three attack Ryback.

WINNER VIA DISQUALIFICATION: Ryback. Ryback actually dominates The Shield this time, and Henry starts to get back in the ring. However, it’s mostly a distraction, as The Shield re-enter the ring and triple team Ryback as Henry just paces around the ring. They eventually hit the triple powerbomb, and Ryback is left laying. Henry gets back in the ring after they leave, hitting the World’s Strongest Slam on Ryback. He then hits another WSS for good measure. And, just for fun, a third WSS connects.

MATCH 5: Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Colter) vs. Chris Jericho
Swagger backs Jericho into the corner with a lock-up, but gives a clean break. Another lock-up, and Swagger turns it into a waistlock. Jericho counters into his own and turns it into a side headlock. Swagger backs Jericho into the corner, then knocks Jericho down with a right. Swagger stomps Jericho down, then pulls him up for some rights. Jericho counters with chops and rights, then hits a nasty clothesline. Jericho backdrops Swagger to the floor, but Swagger lands on the apron. Jericho hits a springboard dropkick, sending Swagger to the floor. Commercials.

We’re back, and Swagger hits a running knee in the corner. He applies a standing legbar on Jericho, then locks in a double chicken wing as he continuously screams, “We the people!” Jericho breaks the hold by kicking Swagger in the knee, then hits a back suplex. Swagger pops back up and hits a running clothesline for 2. Swagger grinds Jericho’s face into the mat before applying a front chancery. Jericho gets back to his feet, then gets a 2 off a move I didn’t see since there was a glitch in my feed. Jericho assaults Swagger in the corner until Swagger reverses a corner whip and hits a running chop block. He applies the Patriot Lock, but Jericho kicks him off and rolls him into a small package for 2. Swagger is back up, and he hits a belly-to-belly suplex for 2. Commercials.

Back from the break, Swagger hits an avalanche and picks Jericho up for a slam, but Jericho counters into a DDT for 2. Jericho kicks Swagger a few times, but gets pancaked off the ropes. Swagger grabs Jericho in a gutwrench, but Jericho counters into the Walls. Swagger punches his way out and manages to apply the Patriot Lock once more. Jericho counters into a victory roll, then turns it into the Walls of Jericho. Colter jumps on the apron, and the slight distraction allows Swagger to get a rope break and roll to the floor. Jericho baseball slides him through the ropes, then sends him into the steps. Back in the ring, Jericho goes up top and hits a cross-body for 2. Jericho hits a series of knee strikes until Swagger sends him into the middle buckle. Swagger misses a corner charge and Jericho goes for the Codebreaker, but Swagger shoves him off into the turnbuckles in a nasty spot. He hits the falling Doctor Bomb, and it’s enough to get the 3.

WINNER: Jack Swagger.

End of show.

Good main event tonight, and the Kane/Ziggler match was pretty fun, too.

As always, feel free to follow me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/xdustineflx ,and if you like Married…With Children, you can follow my Al Bundy parody account at http://www.twitter.com/bundyisms. Also follow my personal blog at http://nerdslikeme.blogspot.com (feedback is welcome). Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out my mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:

Gerri Davis Banner, NPC National Level Heavyweight and Masters Female Bodybuilder

-Dustin

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Dolph Ziggler Talks Losing, Fans, MITB, and More

March 06, 2013 By: Category: Videos, WWE | Pro Wrestling

You aren’t the only one who hates seeing Dolph Ziggler lose on WWE television every week. Dolph is not happy with it either, as a matter of a fact he hates it. A great interview with Ziggler reveals his honest thoughts on losing, his place on the cards, his fan support, and much more.

Ziggler sat down with Chris Van Vliet in Cleveland in what is probably the most interesting interview you will see with a current WWE superstar. Ziggler walks the fine line initially of work and shoot but shifts completely into shoot just a few minutes into the discussion. If you are a fan of Ziggler in the ring, it is hard not to appreciate him even more after watching this interview.

The topic of Dolph losing has been a hot one lately on the Internet. I just wrote an entire blog devoted to the subject a few days ago. Dolph has turned into a real popular wrestler offline, especially in the world of social media thanks to his hard work and entertaining style inside of the ring. Ziggler calls himself a “cult, unsung hero” at one point in the interview as a result of the support. As far as losing goes, Dolph is not happy. As a matter of a fact, he hates it.

“It does me. Since I was 5 years old and started wrestling, I lost once. I hated it and never wanted it to happen again. And all through my life, it wasn’t just about being a great wrestler, it was about proving myself. I’ve done well in High School and college and even here in WWE, I’ve had some streaks. Right now, I am not winning very often and it disappoints me and it disappoints my fans.”

That is just the tip of the iceberg. Here are a few other topics Dolph touches on in the 21 minute interview.

- His cult-like status on the Internet
- The WWE Attitude Era coming back
- His faction’s place on the cards
- The Rock’s schedule
- If he’ll cash in at WrestleMania 29
- Tweeting with his fans
- Whether he is afraid of his high-impact style will come back to haunt him later
- His reaction at TLC against John Cena
- Going from Vickie to AJ
- Jack Swagger’s recent troubles

- Whether he reads what fans are saying or writing about him on the Internet
- Why the fans are behind him
- The Rock vs. John Cena “Once in a Lifetime” rematch
- Whether he should pull back in the ring

Check out the interview. It’s one of the best you’ll read in 2013 with a WWE superstar. If you liked him before, you’ll have even more of an appreciation for Dolph after the interview.

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WWE SmackDown Results February 22 and Report

February 24, 2013 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

This week’s WWE Friday Night SmackDown opens with Ricardo Rodriguez introducing the World Champion, Alberto Del Rio. We are 44 days away from ADR/Swagger, but only if Swagger doesn’t get his title match taken away as a result of him getting arrested shortly after this taping concluded.

ADR says that last Sunday, he retained his title at Elimination Chamber. So that means he and Ricardo are going to Wrestlemania. He also found out who his opponent is that night, that being Jack Swagger. Swagger has a new friend and a new attitude, and with this new attitude, Swagger believes he is everything that is right with America, and ADR is everything that is wrong. Jack, he saw the State of the Union address on RAW, as well as all the YouTube videos. Swagger says the problem is immigration. According to Swagger, immigrants are taking the jobs from people like him. This country was built by immigrants, real, hard-working people trying to provide their families with a better life. That is why America is so great. Jack, this is the result of his hard work. This (the title) is the result of the American dream. And Jack, if you are a real American, to him, you are just a real jackass. We, the immigrants just want handouts, why don’t you come out here so he can lay his hand out across your face, perro.

Randy Orton’s music hits. He makes his way down to the ring. He says he’ll do his best to stay calm, cool and collected, but something was taken from him. This past Sunday, he was this close to getting a chance at regaining the title in the main event at Wrestlemania, but that was taken from him by Jack Swagger. Part of him admires it, because he would have done the same thing. Another part of him wants to take out all of his aggression on Swagger tonight. He knows it’s ADR/Swagger at ‘Mania, so he’s asking ADR to step aside tonight, as Swagger is his. If they have to fight over it, so be it.

Booker T comes out onto the stage now and he tells everyone to slow down. He doesn’t see SD going down that way tonight. His plans are this: a champion vs. champion match tonight, as ADR will face IC champ Wade Barrett. As far as Swagger goes, he will be going one-on-one with Orton. Randy, you got your wish tonight. Now can you dig that, sucka?

Sheamus is making his way out for a match with Damien Sandow, and that’s next.

Promo video for Fandango. If he makes it more than six months with this gimmick, I will be impressed.

MATCH 1: Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow
Before the match, Sandow has something to say. Tonight, you will all bear witness to a monumental occasion: the destruction of your false idol, Sheamus. A man whose only purpose has been dragging you further into the bowels of your own ignorance. Tonight, Sheamus, your reign of terror comes to an end. You’re welcome. Sandow and Sheamus trade strikes, with Sheamus getting the better of it. Sandow fights back out of the corner until Sheamus trips him. Short-arm clothesline by Sheamus, and Sandow once again fights back. Sheamus blocks a hip toss and hits another short-arm. Clothesline over the ropes sends Sandow to the floor. Sheamus follows, sending Sandow into the barricade. He does it again on the other side before throwing Sandow back in. Sheamus hits the slingshot Battering Ram on the way back in, but Sandow connects with a clothesline out of the corner. Sheamus fights back with rights, but Sheamus grabs him by the hair and hurls him to the apron, where he gets set up for the forearms to the chest. Sheamus goes for a suplex back in, but Sandow drops to the floor. Commercials.

Back from the break, Sandow has Sheamus in a rear chinlock. Sheamus fights out, but Sandow connects with the side-Russian legsweep. Cobito Acquiet follows, as does a clothesline for 2. Sandow hits some crossface punches across the middle rope, then hits Sheamus with a low clothesline and some mounted punches. He chokes Sheamus under the bottom rope with his foot, then goes outside for some punches and elbows across the apron. Back in, Sheamus fights back with strikes, but Sandow cuts him off, hits a snapmare and applies a rear chinlock. Sheamus headbutts his way out, but gets tripped into the middle rope, where Sandow lands a legdrop across the back for 2. Back to the rear chinlock, and Sheamus fights out once more, hitting several rights. He hits a charging shoulder tackle in the corner, follows up with a running knee and a couple of Irish Hammers. Sandow runs right into a tilt-a-whirl, but escapes and shoves Sheamus into the corner. Edge-O-Matic by Sandow gets 2. Sandow with some knee lifts now, and he looks for the Terminus, but Sheamus won’t let him lock it in. Sheamus reverses it and headbutts Sandow before going for White Noise. Sandow escapes and avoids the Brogue Kick before dropkicking Sheamus in the knee. He misses a flipping neckbreaker and runs right into White Noise. Sheamus calls for the Brogue Kick, and it connects for 3.

WINNER: Sheamus.

Wrestlemania XXX is taking place in New Orleans. Honestly, I figured they’d go back to MSG for the big 3-0.

MATCH 2: Aksana and Tamina Snuka vs. WWE Divas Champion Kaitlyn and Layla
Layla and Aksana start the match. Layla randomly dances, so Aksana does the same and gets kicked in the ass. Kaityln tags in, and she hits a flying shoulderblock before applying a rear chinlock. She gets distracted by Snuka, and Aksana knocks her to the floor. Outside, Snuka clotheslines Kaitlyn. Back in, Aksana hits a sidewalk slam for 2. She sends Kaitlyn into the heel corner, then slaps her. Aksana stomps her down before applying a headscissors. Aksana turns it into a Taco Twister before missing a splash off the ropes. Layla and Snuka tag in. Layla hits a hairmare and a hook kick to the face. Dropkick by Layla, followed by LOL. Snuka rolls through, though, and hoists her up for the Samoan drop. However, Layla makes the blind tag, and Kaitlyn spears Snuka for the 3.

WINNERS: Kaitlyn and Layla.

MATCH 3: Randy Orton vs. Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Coulter)
Swagger has new, uber-patriotic marching band entrance music. Swagger pushes Orton to the corner, and they fight all over the ring in the lock-up position, giving a clean break in the middle of the ring. Swagger goes for a quick schoolboy for 1 before Orton comes back with strikes in the corner, stomping Swagger down. Swagger kicks him the knee, but runs into a back elbow. Orton hits a back suplex for 2. Orton chokes Swagger over the middle rope, but he comes back with some rights and shoulder thrusts in the corner. Orton no-sells and punches Swagger down before throwing him to the corner. Swagger reverses a corner whip, and Orton comes back with a clothesline. Snapmare by Orton, and now he goes to the rear chinlock, his most favorite of moves. Swagger counters into a back suplex, breaking the hold. Swagger goes for the pin, getting 2. He drops a series of elbows, then hits a running a shoulderblock. He hits another one, and Orton quickly schoolboys him for 2 before hitting a dropkick. Orton does the Garvin Stomp and follows up with a jumping knee for 2. Swagger rolls to the floor, where he drags Orton toward the ring post, wrapping the leg around the post. Back in the ring, Swagger goes for the Patriot Act (which Josh Mathews is now calling the Patriot Lock. Not sure which is correct now), but Orton kicks him to the outside. Orton hits a horrible Thesz Press on the outside before Swagger rolls back in. He rolls back out, where Orton drops him with a clothesline. Commercials.

We’re back, and the two are trading punches. Orton sends Swagger over the top, but Swagger lands on his feet on the apron. Orton boots him and goes for the suspended DDT, but Swagger back drops him to the floor. Orton lands on his feet and drags Swagger out, where he hits more punches. Swagger reverses a whip into the steps, sending Orton in shoulder-first. He slams Orton face-first into the steps before rolling him back in the ring for 2. Swagger hits some kneelifts in the corner before hitting a modified belly-to-belly suplex. Avalanche connects for another 2. Swagger applies a double chicken wing, and Orton elbows out. Swagger headbutts him before he gets backdropped to the outside. Orton heads outside, hitting a back suplex across the top of the barricade. Back in, Swagger chopblocks Orton from the front, then follows up with the Swagger Bomb for 2. Orton blocks a suplex a couple of times, then hits his own. Swagger pops back up, but misses a shoulder thrust in the corner, hitting the post. Orton loads up the Four Moves of Boredom, but goes for the 3.0 instead. Swagger fights out and kitchen sinks him. He goes for the Swagger Bomb again, but Orton sees it coming and connects with the 3.0 after a kick. Swagger rolls to the apron, where Orton hits the suspended DDT. He coils up for the RKO as Zeb helps Swagger back up. Swagger hotshots Orton, thumbs him in the eye and stacks him up with his feet on the ropes for the 3.

WINNER: Jack Swagger.

MATCH 4: The Miz vs. Cody Rhodes
We get a cut-away promo from Rhodes, and he’s sick of people criticizing him for his mustache. The ladies are apparently calling it a “love-stache”. Looks like WWE is starting a romance angle between him and Kaitlyn as well. Miz starts with a waistlock, and Rhodes trips him up. Crisscross ends with a back elbow by Miz. Rhodes backdrops him to the floor, but Miz lands on the apron and climbs to the top. Rhodes hotshots the bad arm from this position, then stomps the shoulder. He stomps it once more before going for the pin, getting 1. Rhodes applies a hammerlock, and Miz elbows out. Rhodes boots him in the knee, kicks him in the shoulder and lands a dropkick for 2. Rhodes boots Miz in the head, then fires off some rights. Miz fights back and goes for a sunset flip, but Rhodes rolls through and knees him in the face for 2. Rhodes applies a modified armbar, then knees him in the gut. Miz backflips out of a back suplex and lands a big boot for 2. Miz shoves Rhodes to the corner, but misses a shoulderblock. Rhodes goes for the Alabama Slam, but Miz rolls through and applies the figure-4. Rhodes taps.

WINNER: The Miz.

MATCH 5-Champion vs. Champion: Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett vs. World Champion Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo Rodriguez; non-title)
Before the match starts, Jack Swagger and Zeb Coulter make their way onto the stage to apparently watch this match. Barrett immediately goes into an arm wringer, and ADR flips out and hits a hip toss. Barrett comes back with strikes in the corner, and ADR counters with corner kicks. Snapmare by ADR, followed by a kick to the spine. Barrett rolls to the floor, where ADR hits a dropkick through the ropes off a Ricardo distraction. Back in the ring, they trade strikes until Barrett sends ADR into the corner. ADR mounts the buckles, and Barrett shoves him to the floor. Outside, Barrett slams ADR face-first into the steps , then whips him into another set. Back in the ring, Barrett goes for a cover, getting 2. He applies a rear chinlock now, but ADR fights out. Barrett ducks a clothesline, hits a mule kick, then follows up with a pumphandle slam for 2. Barrett chokes ADR with his knee over the middle rope, ties him up through the ropes for some kneelifts, then knocks his ass to the floor with a running boot to the face. Outside, Barrett rolls ADR back in the ring for a cover, getting 2. Barrett hits a series of elbows off the ropes for another 2. Barrett goes back to a rear chinlock before whipping him into the corner. ADR blocks a charge and hits a seated dropkick from the middle rope. Back up, ADR ducks a clothesline, hits a couple of his own, ducks another and hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. ADR connects with a thrust kick out of the corner, but only gets 2. Barrett pulls himself up in the corner, and as ADR charges in, Barrett catches him with the Winds of Change for 2. Barrett goes for Wasteland, but ADR slides out and shoves Barrett into the corner. ADR blocks a kick, hits some forearms to the back and a Backstabber for 2. He calls for the rolling jujigatame as Swagger begins marching down to ringside. ADR is distracted, and Barrett rolls him up for 2 before hitting a running boot. Barrett calls for the Bull Hammer and pulls down the elbow pad. ADR ducks and manages to lock in the jujigatame, and Barrett taps out.

WINNER: Alberto Del Rio.

End of show.

As always, feel free to follow me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/xdustineflx ,and if you like Married…With Children, you can follow my Al Bundy parody account at http://www.twitter.com/bundyisms. Also follow my personal blog at http://nerdslikeme.blogspot.com (feedback is welcome). Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out my mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:

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WWE: Elimination Chamber 2013

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WWE SmackDown Results February 15 and Report

February 17, 2013 By: Category: WWE | Pro Wrestling

This week is the “go home” episode of SmackDown, as Elimination Chamber takes place this weekend. I gotta be honest-this year’s installment looks pretty weak. Last year was a great show, but this one just has me saying, “Meh”.

We’re in Little Rock, AR tonight, and the show opens up with the #1 contender for the World title, The Big Show. We see a replay of what happened to him last week, and he doesn’t find it funny. He hopes we are happy. Because of those actions, three innocent people on RAW suffered his wrath. Alberto Del Rio has never pinned Show. ADR doesn’t have what it takes to pin Show. He will never pin Show. The rage Show has inside right now will unload at EC. He’s going to ball that rage up nice and tight, and when he lets it fly, ADR’s fiesta will turn into a siesta.

Chris Jericho makes his way down to the ring, returning to SD for the first time in quite a while. Jericho says he’s known Show for 16 years. He can read him like a book and knows what he’s feeling right now. Show says that, if Jericho knows him like he says, Jericho needs to be as far away as possible. Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be on tour with Fozzy or writing a book? Shouldn’t you be hosting a robot fighting show? Stay away. Jericho says he’s back in WWE, and he feels better than ever, and everyone knows it to be true. But, he can read Show like a book, and knows he’s angry and maybe a little doubtful. They’ve been tag champs. He knows how dangerous Show is, and he’s the biggest force in this company. However, Jericho is a 6-time champion. He has been in more Chamber matches than anyone. This Sunday, he’s in another one. If and when he wins the Chamber and if and when Show wins the title, it’s Jericho/Show at Wrestlemania. If that happens, Jericho will beat him for the title, and that’s a fact Show can never…EEEEEVVVVVEEEERRR…forget again. Show says they’ve been through a lot together. If Jericho wins at EC and Show wins the title, it’ll be the last ‘Mania appearance of Jericho’s career. Get out of his face before he hurts you so bad you can’t make it to EC.

SD General Manager Booker T comes out to the stage, and he sees where this is going. He likes it, so since we don’t know if that ‘Mania match will happen, let’s make it happen tonight. Tonight, the main event will be The Big Show vs. Chris Jericho. Now can you dig that, sucka?

Randy Orton gets stopped by Matt Striker in the back. Striker asks about facing Mark Henry tonight. Orton starts to answer, but just stares. The camera pans over to show Henry standing there. They stare each other down as Henry’s music hits. Henry leaves.

The Rock is in the building tonight.

MATCH 1: Mark Henry vs. Randy Orton
Mark Henry hitting the World’s Strongest Slam on Hornswoggle is one of the best things I’ve ever seen. Right up there with Bender steering the Planet Express ship with his ass. Henry backs Orton into the corner with a lock-up, giving a clean break. Another lock-up, and Henry throws him to the corner. Orton fires off some rights before sending him face-first into the middle buckle. Henry rolls to the floor, and Orton follows, knocking Henry down. Back in the ring, Henry drops Orton with a headbutt. He beats Orton down in the corner, then throws him across the ring. Orton recovers and knocks Henry down, following up with a dropkick. Mounted punches in the corner by Orton, but Henry throws him to the floor. Commercials.

We’re back, and Henry has a trapezius claw applied. Henry clubs him down before hitting a running powerslam for 2. He punches Orton in the back of the head before going back to the trapezius claw. Orton fights out, so Henry throws him to the corner. Orton blocks an avalanche, then tries a clothesline. A second one knocks Henry off his feet. Orton ducks one by Henry, but Henry ducks another attempt by Orton before connecting with one. Orton escapes a WSS and hits a snap DDT for 2. Henry rolls to the apron, where Orton connects with a suspended DDT. Orton calls for the RKO, but Henry shoves him off and forearms him in the face, knocking Orton to the floor. Orton tries for an RKO outside, but Henry shoves him off once more. He goes for the WSS again, but Orton slides out over the barricade. Orton hits a gut shot on Henry with a chair, leading to the DQ.

WINNER VIA DISQUALIFICATION: Mark Henry. Orton rolls into the ring behind Henry and cracks him over the back with the chair. He goes for a chairshot to the face, but Henry grabs the chair, swings Orton into the ropes with it and nails him with the World’s Strongest Slam.

We see Henry in the back after the commercials. He grabs a mic out of Striker’s hand and says he’s been at home for 9 months, frustrated about his return. Well, it’s official-the Hall of Pain is open for business, and it’s been getting full as of late. You see what happened to Orton. They’re going to lock five stars in a steel cage with him. He suggests law enforcement is handy, as well as the national guard, the army, the marines and the navy, because they’re going to need it. Nobody, and he means nobody, is stopping his road to Wrestlemania.

Before Tamina is introduced for the next match, we’re “treated” to another Fandango vignette. This time, he’s dancing with a woman, and pronounces his name FAHN-DAHN-GOO. A fancy new gimmick is not going to help Johnny Curtis at all. You know, Pepper, you can’t polish a turd.

MATCH 2: Layla vs. Tamina Snuka
Snuka backs Layla into the ropes with a lock-up, then shoves her. Another lock-up, and Layla goes into a waistlock. Snuka elbows out and goes for a hip toss, but Layla counters into a roll-up for 1. Jackknife by Layla for 2. Springboard cross-body for 2. Layla bumps her ass in Snuka’s face, knocking her to the floor. Layla tries a dropkick from the apron, but Snuka moves and trips Layla, sending her crashing to the apron and to the floor between the ring and the skirt. Back in, Snuka stomps Layla for 2. A rear chinlock is applied by Snuka. Layla fights out, so Snuka whips her down by the hair. Snuka goes back to the rear chinlock, and we see Kaitlyn watching from the back. Layla fights out once more, so Snuka knees her in the gut and whips her into the buckles. Snuka misses a charge, and Layla schoolgirls her for 2. Layla hits a few kick, misses a crescent kick but connects with a savate kick. She goes for a cross-body, but Snuka catches her and throws her into a Samoan drop. Up top, Snuka connects with the Superfly Splash for 3.

WINNER: Tamina Snuka. While her splash isn’t the most graceful, she definitely gets some height.

The Rock makes his way out, and he wants to make something clear to CM Punk: Punk, this past Monday, you ran off with the title, but that doesn’t make you champion. You only made a trade, and that trade is holding onto the Rock’s belt for 6 days in exchange for an ass-kicking that will haunt you forever. Punk, you can hear the people, because what happens on Sunday is Rock will make you suffer. The people want it, and they want you to be treated like the spoiled little boy you are. You lose your toy, so you run your mouth and try to steal it back, keep a “yes man” like Heyman around…Rock isn’t a spoiled boy; he’s a man. It took Rock 10 years to win the belt back, and it will take him one night to make sure Punk never touches it again.

We see Punk and Heyman on the TitanTron. Punk says this isn’t a belt; this is a title, and it belongs to the best in the world. Everyone saw at the Royal Rumble when Rock committed grand larceny. Now he’s here, throwing a fit. He complains about Punk throwing a fit, but he’s doing the same thing. He’s angry, and that fits into Punk’s plan. He wants a beating from Rock. He wants him to get DQ’ed, because that means he wins at EC. He beat Rock 1-2-3 at the Rumble, and just to change things up, he’s going to let Rock beat himself. If Rock gets DQ’ed or counted out, Punk wins. The People’s Era will be a blip on the radar. After this Sunday, Punk will still be champion. Rock says Punk talks a big game about what he’ll do. These days, Punk’s words are worthless. He said he’d stop Rock at the Rumble, and he didn’t. Rock promised he’d be champion, and he held up his promise. Even after The Shield was paid off, at the end of the night at the Rumble, Punk got beat. Here’s what Punk should do: He should think about what will happen Monday. Punk will wake up and realize he failed. This Sunday, Punk is a spoiled little boy, and he’s facing the Rock, a steamroller of a man. Rock will beat Punk this Sunday and go onto ‘Mania as champion, and everyone knows it, including Punk…if you smell what The Rock is cooking.

MATCH 3: Jinder Mahal and Heath Slater (w/Drew McIntyre) vs. Brodus Clay and Tensai (w/The Funkadactyls)
Tensai and Slater start the match. After a mini dance-off, Slater boots Tensai in the gut and goes for an Irish whip. Tensai counters and hits an uppercut. Slater comes back with a jump kick and tags in Mahal, who stomps Tensai down. Mahal hits a running knee for 2 before applying a rear chinlock. Tensai fights out and botches a Sidewinder after catching Mahal off the ropes. Clay tags in and clotheslines Mahal. Exploder suplex connects, and he drops an incoming Slater with a headbutt to the chest. The faces hit a pair of avalanches and Tesnai hits a Derailer on Mahal. Clay follows up with Ah, Funk It for the 3.

WINNERS: Brodus Clay and Tensai. After the match, The Shield’s music hits, and they come down through the crowd. The faces try to fight them off, but The Shield is too much for them. Tensai gets hurled into the steps on the outside, and now they are triple-teaming Clay in the ring. They beat Clay down before hitting the triple powerbomb. Dean Ambrose grabs a mic and he tells the crowd this Sunday won’t look any different. John Cena, Sheamus and Ryback, you will learn the hard way that your actions have consequences. This Sunday, you will be put on trial, sentenced, and you will believe in The Shield. Nothing against Rollins or Reigns, but they should just let Ambrose do all of the talking for them, all the time.

Another vignette for Tobey Maguire-er, I mean Fandango.

MATCH 4: Cody Rhodes vs. The Miz
Miz’s taped up thanks to Antonio Cesaro beating his ass this past Monday. Miz starts with a waistlock, and Rhodes fights out before Miz slaps him. Miz applies a hammerlock, and Rhodes counters into a side headlock. Crisscross ends in a Miz back elbow. Rhodes blocks a corner charge and goes to the middle rope, but Miz yanks him back down. Rhodes boots him in the bad shoulder and hits a hammerlock slam for 2. Rhodes begins working over the bad arm and shoulder, then beats him down against the ropes. Rhodes applies a top wristlock, but Miz eventually armdrags him off. Miz hits a couple clotheslines and goes for the Reality Check, but Rhodes shoves him into the buckles. Miz blocks a charge and goes for a spear, but Rhodes counters into a sunset flip. Miz rolls through and goes for a boot. Rhodes ducks and schoolboys him for 2. Rhodes arm whips Miz back down and goes for the Beautiful Disaster, but Miz catches him and goes for the figure-4. He gets it applied, and Rhodes taps.

WINNER: The Miz.

MATCH 5: Zack Ryder vs. Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Coulter)
I do not understand pulling Dutch Mantell out of the mothballs. Again. It’s fine that Swagger now has a mouthpiece other than Vickie Guerrero, but is Dutch really the best they could do? Harvey Whippleman wasn’t available? Swagger tackles Ryder, then forearms him in the back. Ryder comes back with some forearms to the face. He tries to block a corner charge with the knees, but Swagger catches him and whips him down. Swagger hits some kneelifts in the corner, then sends Ryder hard into the opposite buckles. Ryder ducks a clothesline and hits a flapjack. He beats Swagger down in the corner and calls for the Broski Boot, but misses. Swagger grabs the leg and whips it around the ringpost. Back in the ring, Swagger chopblocks Ryder’s bad leg before connecting with the falling Doctor Bomb and applying the Patriot Act for the tapout.

WINNER: Jack Swagger. Swagger grabs a mic and introduces his great friend. This man is a native and a great American. This man is Zeb Coulter. Zeb takes the mic and says that in the Declaration of Independence, all men are created equal, but it’s the choices that define you. Do you end up being a great patriot like him and Swagger, or a real American like they are? Or, do the choice you make resemble a clown like Zack Ryder, who cares more for his hair and tan than the country he lives in? You people are not blind, but you refuse to see. Their eyes are wide open. This country is broken, and they know how to fix it. Swagger is a great man, a great patriot and a real American. He knows how to fix the problem, and it starts right here. Remember: We the people. Zeb Coulter is officially the favorite wrestling performer of Fox News.

Matt Striker is backstage with Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez. He reminds ADR that Show said he’s never pinned Show. ADR says they won’t answer that question. Ricardo, is he the champion? Si. Did he beat Show twice? Si. Did he look like a giant punk last week? Si. Show was right, though. He’s never pinned Show. However, he loves to do the impossible. Will he pin Show on Sunday and retain his title? Si! Si! Si!

MATCH 6: The Big Show vs. Chris Jericho
Show immediately backs Jericho to the corner, and Jericho reverses things before landing a few punches. Show shoulders him down off the ropes, then headbutts him, sending him to the floor. Show follows out and hits an open-hand chop against the announce desk. Back in the ring, Jericho hits a springboard dropkick, sending Show back down to the floor. Jericho hits a baseball slide, then heads out himself. Show grabs him and throws him over the announce desk. Back in, Show headbutts Jericho down to the mat. Open-hand chop against the ropes follows, as does another headbutt. Jericho tries to fight back, but Show stops that with a bodyslam. Show drags Jericho to the corner, where he goes up top. Jericho cuts him off, and Show shoves him away before hopping back down. Jericho goes up top now, and Show grabs him by the throat. Jericho hotshots the arm, then dropkicks Show in the knee before booting him in the face. Show comes back with a spear, getting 2. He calls for the chokeslam, but Jericho breaks the goozle before going up top once more. However, he jumps off right into a chokeslam. Jericho rolls to the floor, and Show seems content on a count-out for a moment. He finally rolls to the outside, where he tosses Jericho back in the ring. He mounts the middle rope, but Jericho avoids a big elbow. Lionsault connects for 2. He goes for the Codebreaker, but Show holds on. Jericho slides out into a sunset flip, and Show picks him up for a tree slam. Jericho counters with a DDT, getting 2. Jericho hits a seated dropkick to the side of the head, then tries to apply the Walls. Show eventually boots him off, and as Jericho gets back up, he walks right into a WMD for the 3.

WINNER: The Big Show. We see ADR and Ricardo staring at Show from the stage.
End of show.

As always, feel free to follow me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/xdustineflx ,and if you like Married…With Children, you can follow my Al Bundy parody account at http://www.twitter.com/bundyisms. Also follow my personal blog at http://nerdslikeme.blogspot.com (feedback is welcome). Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out my mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:

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Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you next week.

WWE: Elimination Chamber 2013

WWE: Bret Hitman Hart – The Dungeon Collection

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