This week’s show opens up with the return of both Chris Jericho and “The Highlight Reel”. He says he’s been away for a few months, but he’s been paying attention to what’s been going on. The first thing he wants to know is who Adam Rose’s Bunny is, because that guy is awesome. Jericho thinks it might be Funaki. A “Funaki” chant breaks out. Second, he knows that if Team Authority loses at Survivor Series, they’re out of power forever, so he wants to introduce our favorite power-hungry couple, the Authority.
Triple H and Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley make their way down to the ring. Jericho wants to know why they asked to be on the show tonight. Steph says that isn’t the question; the question is why they invited him to Jericho. How long has it been since Jericho or his show have been on Smackdown? It’s because they give the WWE Universe what they really want. In all seriousness, she likes to have fun with the fans, and this show wouldn’t exist without them. The fans represent the hard-working men and women, overcoming on a daily basis. They need wrestlers they can respect. What Vince McMahon is doing to them is what they’ve been doing to the locker room: making wrestlers fights for what they believe in. It’s why the fans still chant “YES! YES! YES!” Daniel Bryan has been gone for months, but he overcame the odds and the fans revere him for it. But where would Bryan be without the Authority? Where would Superman be without Lex Luthor? Where would the sun be without the moon? Where would WWE be without a McMahon in charge? Who could possibly run this place except the Authority? Jericho says he could do it, but seriously, he likes what Cena said on RAW about how the WWE Universe can run this place. It’s not rocket science. You ask the fans a question, and they answer yes or no. He asks if the fans would like to see Trips lick his boots and clean his shoes. Yes. Would they like to see him clean the toilets? Yes. Would they like to see Steph soiled in a pool of filth again? This cuts to Vickie Guerrero shoving Steph into a pool filled with mud from a few months back. Back to the arena, Jericho asks if the fans want to see it again. Trips cuts him off and says he doesn’t need Jericho’s acceptance. They don’t need anyone’s acceptance, and that goes for both fans and talent. The wolf does not ask to be embraced by sheep. So enjoy the laugh, because at Survivor Series, Team Authority is going to tear through Team Cena. When the Authority wins, like always, and they are standing tall, who’s going to be laughing then? It won’t be Jericho or the fans; it’ll be the Authority themselves. Trips tells him to keep that in mind the next time Jericho calls asking to come back and get his WWE fix. Maybe next time he calls, maybe the Authority won’t be so accepting. Maybe by then, they’ve erased Jericho from the history books of WWE.
The Authority leave the ring, and Jericho says he sees an arena full of Jerichoholics, and he likes to sing. There’s a song he’s going to sing a song after Team Authority loses after Survivor Series, and he’s going to sing it now. You can guess what song that is.
Wyatt nails an uppercut, then drops Cara with a headbutt to the back of the neck. He then nails a clothesline off the ropes. Wyatt throws Cara to the corner, then whips him across the ring. Cara blocks a charge and nails a few shots, ducks a clothesline and hits a springboard cross-body for 2. He rolls to the apron, where he hits a kick on an incoming Wyatt. Up top, Cara goes for the swanton bomb and misses. Wyatt cuts him down with a flying back elbow, throws him to the corner and hits an avalanche. Wyatt hits a standing suplex, throws himself on his back, then begins to crab-walk. He flips back over, hits Sister Abigail and gets 3.
WINNER: BRAY WYATT.
After the match, Wyatt says he can hear Dean Ambrose. He can feel him in his chest, in his heart. He can hear Ambrose screaming for help. He knows all about those lonely nights, and how Ambrose felt unloved. He knows about how, every Christmas morning, Ambrose woke up, praying that this would be the day daddy came back. But when he went downstairs, all that was waiting was darkness, darkness that has become a way of life. It doesn’t have to be this way. Wyatt is here. He is the light Ambrose has been searching for. He wants to fix Ambrose. Salvation is at-hand.
Ambrose marches down to the ring, knocks over the rocker and hits the ring. Wyatt quickly slides out of the ring and says Ambrose is right on time, so hostile. What a hero, ready to change the day. How predictable is Ambrose? Every time he wants to see Ambrose, all he has to do is push buttons or pull strings. He knows Ambrose wants to hurt him. He wants to punish Wyatt, so go ahead and do it, just like he wants to punish his daddy. Wyatt hits the ring, but Ambrose knocks him to the floor with a right. Wyatt says Ambrose wears the mask of a lunatic, but he’s just a child screaming for someone to show him the way. Have no fear, because he’s the key to the light. Follow him, and Ambrose will never be in the dark again.
MATCH 2: WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS GOLD & STARDUST VS. THE BUNNY AND ADAM ROSE (W/THE EXOTIC EXPRESS) (NON-TITLE)
Rose and Goldust start, with Goldust applying a side headlock. He hits a shoulder off the ropes before running into a hiptoss. Bunny asks for a tag, but Rose blows him off. Goldust throws Rose to the corner and tags in Stardust, who stomps Rose into oblivion. Goldust back in, and he drops an elbow before applying a rear chinlock. Rose fights out, the two crisscross, then collide in the middle of the ring. Stardust tags in, as does Bunny. Bunny hits a couple kicks, then hits a seated dropkick from the middle. Rose asks to be tagged back in, but Bunny won’t do it. He goes up top, and Rose is yelling at him. He goes for the Bunny Splash, but Stardust gets his knees up. Stardust hits Dark Matter and gets 3.
WINNER: GOLD & STARDUST
Rose scolds Bunny after the match about what just happened. He says Bunny never listens, pulls him up to his feet, hits a mule kick and drops him with the Party Foul. Rose gets up and celebrates with the rest of the Exotic Express on the way out of the arena.
Byron Saxton is standing by with Dolph Ziggler. Saxton points out his troubles the last few weeks with the Authority, and that cuts to a video package of said troubles. Back to Saxton, he mentions that Ziggler has to defend the IC title tonight in a Triple Threat Match. Ziggler says he’s somehow survived everything the Authority has thrown at him, and now he has to deal with Luke Harper. Once again, he’s defending his title tonight. If this is it, if he loses, he’s not going down without a fight…and he’s staying on Team Cena at Survivor Series. The Authority is on borrowed time. All he has to do for the next 10 days is what he does best: survive. At Survivor Series, if his team survives, that means the Authority doesn’t.
Saxton is now standing by with Ryback after a video package. After defying the Authority on RAW, is Ryback now on Team Cena? Ryback says he’s on his own team, and the only one who needs to worry about surviving is Kane. The Authority are fearing for their lives, and they were right trying to recruit “The Big Guy”. What we saw on RAW was an appetizer, and his appetite is insatiable. Unfortunately for Kane, it’s almost feeding time.
MATCH 3-TRIPLE THREAT ELIMINATION MATCH FOR THE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP: TYSON KIDD VS. CESARO VS. DOLPH ZIGGLER (CHAMPION)
God, JBL is insufferable. The bell rings, and Ziggler shoves Kidd away. Cesaro boots Ziggler and hits Kidd with an exploder suplex. He covers Ziggler for one, then goes after Kidd. Kidd hits a flipping kick, and Cesaro turns around into a Ziggler dropkick. Kidd rolls Ziggler up from the apron for 2. Ziggler hits a backslide for 2. Cesaro rolls him up for 2. Kidd rolls Cesaro up for 2. Ziggler rolls Kidd up for 2. Cesaro rolls up Ziggler for 2. Kidd rolls up Cesaro for 2. Cesaro comes back with a clothesline on Kidd, but then gets hit with another Ziggler dropkick. Ziggler hits a running Show-Off Elbow on Kidd as we go to commercials.
Back from the break, Cesaro tries to throw Ziggler to the corner, but Ziggler blocks it and goes for a suplex. Kidd joins in to look for a double suplex. Instead, Cesaro suplexes them both at the same time to a big pop. He covers Ziggler for 2, then looks for a tigerbomb. Ziggler holds on and goes for a hurricanrana. Cesaro blocks it and hits a powerbomb. Kidd hits a springboard elbow on Ziggler, and Cesaro drops him with a deadlift gutwrench suplex. Cesaro gets 2 on Ziggler as Kidd is rolling back into the ring. Cesaro stomps him, then misses a corner charge on Ziggler, hitting the post. Ziggler hits a rocker dropper on Kidd for 2, then charges at Cesaro in the corner. Cesaro sidesteps him and immediately sets him up for a back superplex. Ziggler fights him off, and Kidd nails him with a seated dropkick. Ziggler falls into the tree of woe position, and Kidd ducks a Cesaro clothesline before hitting a dropkick on Ziggler. Kidd turns into a belly-to-belly from Cesaro and ends up in the corner. Cesaro nails him with a running European uppercut for 2. Kidd fights Cesaro off, and Ziggler nails Cesaro with a top rope cross-body for 2. Ziggler hits a pair of corner splashes on his opponents, then hits the two with with a neckbreaker and a DDT simultaneously. He gets 2 on Cesaro, then 2 on Kidd. Kidd comes back with a swinging neckbreaker for 2, then goes up top. Cesaro nails him with another uppercut, then a straight right. He climbs up for a superplex as Ziggler crawls back into the ring. Kidd fights Cesaro off, and now all three are perched in the corner. Cesaro has Kidd up in a fireman’s carry and looks for a superplex on Ziggler at the same time. Kidd turns it into a sunset flip powerbomb while Cesaro holds onto the superplex (your basic “Tower of Doom” spot). Kidd gets 2 on Cesaro, then locks in the Sharpshooter. Cesaro crawls over to Cesaro, and gets a 2-count on him while still in the hold. Kidd drags Cesaro to the other side of the ring, Sharpshooter still locked on. Cesaro manages to kick him out of the ring by turning onto his back. Ziggler goes for the leaping DDT, but Cesaro blocks it and nails the Very European Uppercut. Kidd comes back in off a springboard, and Cesaro catches him mid-air with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for 2. Cesaro gets another 2 on Ziggler. Commercials.
Back from the break, Cesaro drops an elbow on Ziggler. Kidd nails a forearms on Cesaro from the apron, then hits a top rope blockbuster, with Cesaro falling onto Ziggler’s knees in the process. Cesaro rolls out to the floor as Kidd goes for the Sharpshooter on Ziggler, locking it on in the middle of the ring. Cesaro is back in, and he applies a crossface. Kidd breaks his half of the hold and goes for the Sharpshooter on Cesaro. Cesaro quickly escapes and nails him with the Cesaro Swing. Cesaro turns around, and Ziggler drops him with a leaping DDT for 2. Ziggler goes for the rocker dropper once more, and Cesaro counters into a hotshot as Kidd nails Ziggler with a kick from the apron at the same time. Cesaro hits a bridging German suplex for 2 on Ziggler, then knocks Kidd to the floor with a knee to the face. Ziggler ducks a clothesline, then hits a spinning headscissors into the Zig-Zag. Kidd throws Ziggler to the floor and picks up the 3 on Cesaro.
Cesaro has been eliminated.
Kidd hits a baseball slide into a headscissors that sends Ziggler face-first into the ring steps. Kidd then throws Ziggler into the barricade before nailing a kick to the face from the top of the barricade. Back in the ring, he gets a 2-count. Kidd knee-chokes Ziggler against the bottom rope, then looks for an outside-in legdrop, which misses. Ziggler pulls him back in for a 2-count, then counters a suplex into the Zig-Zag. Kidd blocks it by holding onto the ropes before hitting a twisting fisherman’s suplex for 2. Kidd rolls to the apron and goes for a springboard, but Ziggler meets him mid-air with a superkick, which gets 2. Kidd hits a kick from his back, then goes for the Sharpshooter yet again. Ziggler somehow rolls his way out, snaps off the Zig-Zag and gets 3.
WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: DOLPH ZIGGLER.
Hot damn, that was a good match. Kudos to all three participants. I like the fact that WWE seems interested in giving Ziggler another chance, and Kidd’s career seemingly has new life.
We get another promo video for Randy Watson and Sexual Chocolate. Er…I mean Xavier Woods his New Day faction.
MATCH 4: LAYLA (W/SUMMER RAE) VS. NATALYA
The two lock up, and Nattie applies an arm wringer. Layla counters into her own. Nattie flips out of it, and Layla hits her with her stupid roll-up for 2. Nattie then goes for the Sharpshooter, but Layla grabs the bottom rope before hitting a weak forearm. Nattie shows her how its done by hitting her right in the face. Layla comes back with a high kick to the face that sends Nattie to the floor. Nattie rolls back in at 9, and Layla stomps her in the back before knee-choking her against the middle rope. Layla humps her for 2, then applies a headscissors before immediately breaking it and applying a bodyscissors. Nattie turns around and blasts Layla with forearms. Layla holds on and applies more pressure before adding in a guillotine. Nattie gets to her feet and goes for a bodyslam, but Layla escapes and yanks Nattie down by her hair for 2. Nattie blocks a kick, snaps Layla down onto her stupid face, then hits a low seated dropkick for 2. She goes for a suplex, but Layla rams her into the buckles before kicking her to the floor. Outside, Nattie ducks a clothesline, hits Rae in her even stupider face, then throws Layla into Rae. Back in the ring, Nattie recovers from a kick and locks in the Sharpshooter for the submission win.
Another video for Sexual Chocolate. This time it’s Kofi Kingston front and center. Now we get to wait for the Big E videos, and the group is set.
Byron Saxton stops Dean Ambrose as he’s trying to leave the building, asking if Bray Wyatt’s message is starting to have an effect on him. Ambrose says that Wyatt is playing games. He’s sick of games. If Wyatt’s going to get inside his head, he’s going to regret it. Wyatt appears and rams an equipment box into Ambrose before nailing him with a punch. He hits Sister Abigail into a wall, then cradles Ambrose in his lap. He says this world wasn’t meant for people like them. Once they put a label on you, they put you in a box. Once they get you in that box, the next one will be in the ground.
MATCH 5: CORPORATE KANE (W/THE AUTHORITY) VS. RYBACK
The two lock up, and Ryback muscles Kane back to the corner. Kane reverses positions, then gives somewhat of a clean break. Ryback shoves him, and Kane applies a side headlock. Ryback tries to reverse, and Kane nails a kneelift. He hits an uppercut, misses a clothesline, and Ryback runs through him with a shoulderblock. Ryback hits a few shots until Kane hits a knife-edge. He hits another uppercut in the corner, then sends Ryback across the ring, following in with a corner clothesline. He hits a right and goes for another whip. Ryback reverses and hits a corner clothesline of his own. He stomps Kane down, but Kane recovers and hits a boot. He goes for a suplex, but Ryback blocks it and hits one of his own. Ryback sends Kane to the floor with a clothesline as we go to commercials.
WINNER VIA DISQUALIFICATION: RYBACK.
Kane continues the assault by cracking Ryback over the back. Ryback rolls into the ring, as does Kane. Kane hits another gut shot as the Authority are now on the apron. Kane celebrates with them, then turns around into a spinebuster by Ryback. Ryback grabs the chair and assaults Kane, then sends him flying with a shot to the back. Triple H stares him down as he goes nose-to-nose with “the boss”.
End of show.