The Big Show opens up this week’s episode of SmackDown. He says that, lately, he’s been pretty ashamed of himself. He’s done some bad things to some really good people. We then see a montage (MONTAGE!) of all of Show’s recent knockouts on Daniel Bryan, Dusty Rhodes, etc. Back to Show, he wants the fans to understand he did those things because he has no alternative. Triple H and Stephanie are holding his job over his head. When you’re a giant, there aren’t a lot of job opportunities out there. The fans have been in similar situations where they do something at work they don’t want to do because they want to keep their jobs. He deserves the boos.
He’s tried to do the best for his family, and sometimes, that involves doing things that make him look like a lunatic. What he has done is unforgivable, but he would like to ask for forgiveness. If Stephanie McMahon told you weren’t man enough for your own wife, you’d question your manhood, too. He’s at his wit’s end, and he doesn’t know what he’s going to do. He has so much anger and frustration, that on RAW, he threatened to knock the COO of the company out. But we all know if he would have done that, he would have been fired on the spot. Maybe it would have been for the best, but right now, he has to face the Shield in a Handicap Match because of that threat. Understand this, though: all the rage and frustration he’s had these past few weeks will be unleashed on the Shield. They won’t be in the ring with just a giant; they’ll be in the ring with a certified lunatic, and if he’s going down, he’s taking them down with him.
Triple H comes out and says he’s ashamed of the man Show has become, and as a locker room leader, he feels the need to question Trips’ authority. Show’s pent-up anger and problems are all on him. The fact that Show can’t pay his mortgage and will lose his house is on him. But, Trips has considered Show a friend for 20 years, he wants to help him. As of tomorrow, Show will no longer owe a bank any money on his mortgage. Trips has the paper in his hand, and Show now owes him for the mortgage. Trips doesn’t want to fire Show or see him lose his life, but to thank Trips for that, Show threatens him. Trips’ patience is running thin, and if Show doesn’t get his emotions in check, Trips will be living in that house, not Show. As for tonight, he and his wife are all about opportunity, but thanks to Show’s tirade, he doesn’t want to put the Shield in harm’s way. So, for tonight, Randy Orton will team up with them to make the match 4-on-1. As for Show’s personal threat to Trips goes, no harm done. They’re cool. Trips then walks off, mortgage paper still in-hand.
MATCH 1: Fandango (w/Summer Rae) vs. Rob Van Dam (w/Ricardo Rodriguez)
RVD blocks a kick, but Fandango nails a left and a back elbow. He follows up with a right, then a few more in the corner. RVD reverses things and hits his own before kicking Fandango down. RVD sends him across the ring and hits the rolling monkey flip out of the corner. Off the ropes, Fandango backdrops RVD to the outside. RVD lands on his feet on the apron, but gets sent sailing into the barricade with a back elbow. Commercials.
We get a video for Rob Van Dam.
Back from the break, RVD blocks a charge in the corner and hits a springboard side kick. He follows up with a pair of clotheslines and a jumping roundhouse. He calls for Rolling Thunder, which connects. RVD springs up top, and Summer Rae crotches him in front of the referee, which leads to the DQ.
WINNER VIA DISQUALIFICATION: Rob Van Dam. After the match, Fandango assaults RVD with rights and a falcon arrow. He heads outside and begins looking for a weapon under the ring. I really hate that JBL refers to weapons/foreign objects as “toys”. Not as bad as when Tygress used to refer to them as “props”, but still. Anyway, Ricardo Rodriguez stops Fandango from looking for a weapon under the ring, and the distraction is enough for RVD to baseball slide Fandango through the ropes. RVD heads outside, rolls Fandango back in the ring and hits a nice slingshot DDT. He heads outside once more and pulls out a trashcan. Looks like we might see a Van Terminator. Ricardo holds the trashcan in front of Fandango’s face as he’s slouched in the corner, and sure enough, a Van Terminator is what we get. Nice to see he can still hit it all the way across the ring.
Later tonight, Dolph Ziggler takes on Alberto Del Rio in yet another chapter of Ziggler’s unnecessary burial and ADR’s even more unnecessary push.
MATCH 2: Ryback (w/Intercontinental Champion Curtis Axel and Paul Heyman) vs. R-Truth
Before the match gets underway, we learn R-Truth will face Axel at Battleground for the IC title as a result of his win on Monday Night RAW. The match starts with a lock-up, and Ryback backs Truth into the corner. Truth slugs him, so Ryback grabs him over the shoulder and rams him into the corner. Truth fights out with a kick and a right hand, knocking Ryback to the outside. Heyman tells Ryback Truth is a bully, and Ryback grabs Truth by the leg as he approaches, tripping him in the process. Ryback gets back in the ring and stomps Truth down as he screams his hatred for bullies. Truth escapes a gorilla press and hits a series of rights, followed by a jumping side kick. Truth hits a seated dropkick from the middle rope for 2, but misses the axe kick. Ryback nails the Meat Hook and follows up with Shell Shocked for 3.
WINNER: Ryback. After the match, Axel enters the ring after Ryback and Heyman leave, nailing Truth with a clothesline to the back of the head. He shoves his belt in Truth’s face and reminds him who the champion is.
Renee Young is joined by Alberto Del Rio. She says this Sunday will be the first Hardcore Match ADR has ever been in, and asks if she saw what RVD did to Fandango earlier tonight. ADR did and says he’ll use a trashcan, too. After he beats RVD, he’s going to put him in the trashcan and send him to the garbage dump where he belongs. Young then asks about Ziggler tonight, but before ADR can answer, a stagehand comes up and says he was told by RVD to give ADR the crumpled trashcan from earlier tonight. ADR stares at it for a moment, then throws it on the ground and stomps away.
We get a video for the Wyatt Family.
MATCH 3: World Champion Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler (non-title)
Damien Sandow is on commentary, which makes me happy. Ziggler immediately goes for a schoolboy, getting 1. He does it again, to the same result. ADR nails a mule kick and goes for a bodyslam. Ziggler rolls him up in a schoolboy once more, getting 1. ADR bails to the floor, then gets back in the ring. He headbutts Ziggler several times, misses a clothesline and goes for the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Ziggler keeps spinning, lands on his feet and sends ADR to the floor with a dropkick. Commercials.
Back from the break, Ziggler is fighting out of a side headlock, but gets yanked down by the hair. ADR scores 2 off a kick to the head, then goes into a rear chinlock. Ziggler fights out and hits a sunset flip for 1 before hitting another dropkick. He misses a corner charge, going shoulder-first into the ring post and landing on the apron. ADR pulls him back into the ring and hits a back suplex for 2. He goes back to the rear chinlock, and as Ziggler tries to fight out, ADR headbutts him, sending him into the corner. Ziggler backdrops ADR to the outside, where he lands on his feet. ADR grabs Ziggler by the hair from the middle, so Ziggler turns around and sends ADR to the floor with a dropkick. ADR gets back on the apron and hits a hotshot before climbing to the top rope. Ziggler intercepts and hits a sit-out facebuster from the top rope. Sandow acts like he’s going to hit the ring as ADR and Ziggler begin trading punches. Ziggler sends ADR into the corner and leaps up for some mounted punches before hitting a neckbreaker. He follows up with a hooking clothesline, but ADR avoids the rocker dropper and hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for 2. ADR kicks Ziggler in the back, then climbs up to the top rope, where he gets hit with a dropkick in mid-air by Ziggler, which scores a 2-count. Ziggler picks ADR up, but ADR counters with the double-knee armbreaker, sending Ziggler into the corner. ADR follows with a step-up enziguri for 2. He props Ziggler on the top rope for a superplex, but Ziggler fights him off and hits a sunset flip powerbomb for 2. Ziggler ducks a clothesline and applies the scissored sleeper, but ADR quickly breaks it by ramming Ziggler face-first into the top turnbuckle. He follows up with a double stomp to the back, but Ziggler ducks the thrust kick and rolls ADR up for 2. He misses an avalanche in the corner, and ADR manages to connect with the thrust kick for 2. Sandow’s commentary is hilarious, BTW. Ziggler recovers and goes for the leaping DDT, but ADR counters into the rolling jujigatame. Ziggler rolls through and lands the rocker dropper for 2. Nice sequence there. Both climb back to their feet, and Ziggler goes for the Zig-Zag. ADR blocks it, and as Ziggler dives at him, ADR counters with a pancake. He quickly applies the rolling jujigatame and gets the submission win.
WINNER: Alberto Del Rio.
We get a video for Los Matadores. I already hate this gimmick, but at least Primo and Epico are getting to do something for once. This video is then followed by a Real Americans video. I have heard Antonio Cesaro will be turning face soon and getting a big push, which I am excited about.
MATCH 4: Jinder Mahal and Heath Slater vs. Los Matadores (Diego and Fernando, w/El Torito)
We see an interview with Mahal and Slater earlier today, basically saying they demanded this rematch and need a rope for El Torito. Slater says maybe Drew McIntyre has a rope, but then again, he’s not in the building (rumor has it he may be in for a renewed push as a solo act). Slater and one of the Diego start the match. Diego applies a hammerlock and turns it into a snapmare. He follows up an armdrag and a spinning headscissors. Slater comes back with some punches and tags in Mahal. Diego ducks a clothesline and hits a legsweep. Fernando tags in and the two hit a double back body drop. Mahal reverses a corner whip, but Fernando counters and hits a hurricanrana. He gets a double-leg and slingshots Mahal into Diego. Tag is made, Diego hits a forearm to the face, Mahal lands across Fernando’s knees, and Diego comes in with a corkscrew splash. Mahal comes back with an elbow to the head and tags in Slater, who hits a kick to the face off a Mahal gut shot for 2. Slater applies a rear chinlock, but Diego breaks free and sends Slater to the corner. Slater backdrops him, but Diego does the old Ultimo Dragon headstand in the corner before hitting a spinning headscissors. Fernando and Mahal tag in, and Fernando hits a flying forearm and a headbutt. Mahal misses a dive in the corner, and Fernando hits an overdrive neckbreaker. He mounts the middle rope and hits a double axe handle. Diego makes the tag, and they hit their double inverted flapjack for the 3.
WINNERS: Los Matadores. After the match, Slater and Mahal charge at Los Matadores, but get backdropped to the floor. Torito levels them both with a plancha from the top rope.
Renee Young is standing by with Paul Heyman, Curtis Axel and Ryback. She asks how Heyman feels about his clients chances at Battleground. He says Axel believes R-Truth’s dreams of becoming IC Champion are nothing but fiction, but at least his name isn’t CM Punk, because Punk will suffer a hero’s fate. He will go down in a blaze of glory and fight with every breath in his body as he faces a bigger, stronger, meaner opponent in Ryback. Punk will finally be deterred from ever seeking revenge against Heyman at his expense, for at Battleground, Punk will be Shell Shocked, and then the hero will be flat on his back, looking up at Heyman’s big, bad, beautiful Ryback, as well as Punk’s lord, master and owner, Paul Heyman, the best in the world.
MATCH 5: Aksana vs. Brie Bella (w/Nikki Bella)
Aksana backs Bella into the ropes. Bella shoves her down and hits a clothesline for 1. She blocks a corner whip, ducks a clothesline and hits a Dropsh*t. She follows up with a horrible running knee against the ropes, sending Aksana to the floor. Aksana is thrown back in, where she trips Bella into the ropes. Aksana hits a pair of elbow drops for 1, then applies a half-nelson/rear chinlock combo. The Bella Twins have not shut up this entire match. Aksana snaps Bella down by the hair, does a stupid crawl and covers Bella for 2. They trade punches until Aksana rams Bella into the corner. Bella kicks her in the face and hits a diving sit-out facebuster from the middle rope for 3.
WINNER: Brie Bella. AJ Lee’s music hits, and she comes out, accompanied by Tamina Snuka. From the stage, AJ says she’s feeling inspired. She has something special in-store for Brie. At Battleground, she’s going to do the same thing to Brie what Randy Orton did to Brie’s tin can-chewing fiancée on RAW, and then Brie and Daniel Bryan can disappear, get married and have a baby-the first baby ever born with a goat-face beard. And when the doctor sees that hideous atrocity Brie unleashes on the world, he won’t spank the baby; he’ll spank Brie.
MATCH 6: Big E. Langston vs. Kofi Kingston
Langston immediately clubs Kofi down and hits a belly-to-belly suplex for 1. Langston follows up with a Warrior Splash for 2. He throws Kofi to the corner, where Kofi boots him in the face and follows up with the Pendulum Kick. He comes off the top with a cross-body, but Langston catches him. He goes for a powerslam, and Kofi counters into a victory roll for 3.
WINNER: Kofi Kingston. As Kofi is celebrating on the ramp, the Wyatt Family’s music hits. We see Bray Wyatt come out, and a spotlight reveals Luke Harper and Erick Rowan in the ring behind Kofi. Wyatt tells Kofi he is no hero; just a façade, another shining example of a decayed generation. Kofi doesn’t know it, but his laws have failed him. On this Sabbath, he promises Kofi the first will fall. Follow the buzzards.
We get a video for Big E. Langston. Funny hearing him talk about how badly he beats opponents after he just got squashed by a guy who he outweighs by the better part of 100 pounds.
We learn that Kofi Kingston vs. Bray Wyatt has been made official for Battleground this Sunday.
MATCH 7-4-on-1 Handicap Match: The Shield (WWE United States Champion Dean Ambrose, and WWE Tag Team Champions Roman Reigns & Seth Rollins) and Randy Orton vs. The Big Show
Ambrose starts for his team against Show, and Show immediately backs him into the corner, hitting a series of body blows and an open-hand chop to the chest. He knocks Ambrose down with a headbutt and follows up with a bodyslam. He hits another headbutt, and Ambrose tags in Rollins. Rollins tries to go for the legs, but Show throws him into the corner for body blows and a headbutt. Show stands on Rollins’ chest near the ropes, then shoves him into the corner by the throat. Reigns tags in and runs into a shoulderblock from Show. Show headbutts him, and Orton is tagged in. Orton kicks Show in the gut a couple of times, but receives a body blow and a headbutt. Show chops him in the corner, then does it in the adjacent corner. He elbows Ambrose off the apron, and Orton kicks him in the knee. Rollins tags in and hits a flying knee for 1 before hitting a series of kicks to the face for 2. Reigns in, and he stomps Show down before hitting a headbutt for 2. Orton back in, and he begins kicking Show in the head before hitting a jumping kneedrop for 2. Show gets up and goozles Orton, but Orton counters the chokeslam with a DDT for 2. Reigns back in, and he applies a rear chinlock. Show counters the hold with a back suplex. Show drops Reigns with a pair of clotheslines, then sends him into the corner for a running hip bump. Show follows up with a spear and signals for the chokeslam. Ambrose, Rollins and Orton all come in, and Show hits each one with a clothesline. The three then triple-team Show after a kick by Rollins, but Show fights them all off. Ambrose comes in with a chair, and Show lands a Knockout Punch into the chair, dropping Ambrose.
WINNER VIA DISQUALIFICATION: The Big Show. Rollins comes off the top rope, and Show catches him by the throat. He goes for a chokeslam, but Orton cracks him over the back with the chair. Show shakes it off and grabs Orton by the throat, and that’s when Reigns comes in and spears him. Reigns and Ambrose hold Show up, and Orton drops him with an RKO. Orton looks to Pillmanize Show’s neck, and that’s when the Usos run down. They brawl with the Shield on the outside, and as Orton goes after Show once more, Daniel Bryan runs down and assaults Orton with kicks. Orton comes back with a headbutt, but Bryan shakes it off and hits some rights before throwing Orton into the corner. He fires up the Yes! Kicks, then proceeds to apply the Yes! Lock. Ambrose runs in and clobbers Bryan to break the hold, and Bryan turns around and drops him with a roundhouse before hitting the running knee strike.
End of show.
Dustin Nichols is a freelance writer, and you can keep track of all of his work on his Facebook page, which can be found at www.facebook.com/DustinNicholsWriter. Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out his mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:
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