SmackDown opens with a rare John Cena appearance. Well, rare for SmackDown, anyway. Cena does pandering to Milwaukee, then says he’s ready for tonight. On Monday, he was looking to fight Seth Rollins, but wound up fighting Dean Ambrose. They were so focused on the Authority that the Authority kicked the crap out of them. Ambrose wants revenge for the curb stomp through the cinder blocks. At Summerslam, Cena was destroyed by Brock Lesnar at Summerslam, suffering the most lopsided defeat in WWE Championship history. Members of the WWE Universe, including Hall of Famers, told him it was time to call it quits. Hearing those words lit a fire under him. He wanted to take the fight with Lesnar, and he did it at NoC. He had Lesnar beat in that rematch, but Rollins took that away. He needed the win against Lesnar to prove that he’s not done, but that egomaniac saw opportunity. Rollins is an opportunist and claims he’s the future of WWE. So, he wants to give Rollins a chance to prove himself tonight. Anyone who says they’re the future of WWE has to go through him to prove it. Rollins can proves he’s good as he says he is. Cena doesn’t want the contract; he just wants to prove he hasn’t lost a step.
Instead of Rollins, we get Ambrose. He says he’s sorry to disappoint, but Cena’s not the only one with a problem with the Authority. He has a lot of issues, especially regarding Rollins. He plans to work out those issues, as he plans on making Rollins pay. Cena says he doesn’t want to do this with Ambrose. Ambrose says Cena is right; he doesn’t want to do this. Ambrose doesn’t want it either, but Rollins is his thing, and Cena got in his way. Cena tells Ambrose he has no idea what it’s like to face Lesnar. Cena does, he had him beat, and Rollins took it away. Ambrose says Cena lost one night. Ambrose nearly lost his career at the hands of Rollins, and he’s not going to let anyone else wipe the smug look off Rollins’ face, especially Cena. Cena tells him he’s got guts, and they shouldn’t waste their time on each other. The longer this goes on, the faster they get their asses kicked by the Authority. Cena calls for a truce and a handshake. Whoever gets to Rollins first gets to him, no hard feelings.
Ambrose starts to accept the handshake, but before that happens, Rollins, Corporate Kane and Randy Orton appear on the TitanTron. There’s a rumor Orton is going to turn face again soon. That thought makes my skin crawl. Anyway, Orton calls this his new favorite “bromance”. He speaks for all three of them when he says they’re happy Ambrose and Cena are working things out. They each needed a friend, and they deserve each other. Kane says Rollins told them what Ambrose used to say about Cena in the Shield. He called Cena an over-hyped action figure who couldn’t wrestle his way out of a box of cereal. Orton then says Cena used to call Ambrose a nutjob and a wannabe who thought he could get over by pretending to be crazy. Kane says they probably don’t care what each has said about the other in the past so, if they’ve mended fences, let’s put it to the test in a match against himself and Orton. Will they work as a team, or destroy each other? Kane knows where he’s placing his bets. He asks Rollins for some comments, and Rollins just seethes.
MATCH 1: THE MIZ AND DAMIEN MIZDOW VS. INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION DOLPH ZIGGLER AND WWE UNITED STATES CHAMPION SHEAMUS
Apparently, this week is about rematches from last week and last Monday. Miz and Sheamus start with a lock-up. Sheamus backs Miz to the corner, missing a punch in the process. They lock up again, and Miz hits a kneelift, followed by some forearms and more knees. He backs Sheamus to the corner, where Sheamus blocks a kick and nails a running boot on the opposite side. Mizdow tags in and runs into a tilt-a-whirl powerslam for 1. Mizdow hits a kick, but then gets tossed to the apron. Miz charges in, and gets backdropped to the floor. Mizdow receives the 10 Beats until Miz yanks him down to the floor. Sheamus goes up top and takes them both out with a plancha off a Ziggler distraction. Commercials.
WINNERS: SHEAMUS AND DOLPH ZIGGLER.
Sheamus grabs the chair from earlier and chases Miz out of the ring. He then turns to Mizdow and nails him in the back.
We get a video for Bray Wyatt “releasing” Luke Harper. Sounds like Harper’s in for a big push.
MATCH 2: PAIGE (W/ALICIA FOX) VS. NAOMI
Apparently, WWE once again feels the need to bring Fox out of the mothballs to the delight of no one. The match starts with Paige nailing a boot to the gut, then applying a modified surfboard, right into a double chicken-wing. Naomi breaks it by backing into the corner, then hits a couple of dropsh*ts and a hurricanrana off the ropes. Naomi hits a cartwheel, into a headscissors, into a modified DDT. Okay, that was kind of a cool spot. Fox tries to pull Paige to the floor, so Naomi wipes her out with a suicide dive. Back on the apron, Naomi hits a kick. Paige comes back with one of her own, yanks Naomi into the ring and locks in the PTO for the quick submission win.
AJ Lee charges down to the ring. Paige bails, and Lee tackles Fox, nailing her with rights. She hits a roundhouse, then throws Fox to the floor as Paige is hiding behind JBL at ringside.
The Big Show comes down to the ring, and he’s decked out in a 3-piece suit. A “U-S-A” chant breaks out. Show says that, as human beings, we need to be held accountable for our actions. Sometimes, others hold us accountable for those actions. Ultimately, we need to rely on ourselves for that. With that being said, he’d like to address what happened on RAW. Maybe his sense of nationalistic pride got the better of him. However, his actions were maybe a bit overzealous in pulling down the Russian flag. He actually likes the majority of Russian people he’s met. What makes America great is it’s a melting pot for different people from different parts of the world. With that being said, when he went home from RAW, he started thinking. What if someone did that to the US? How would he feel if someone pulled down “Old Glory”? He’d be damn mad. He can’t take back his actions. But, what he can do as a WWE Superstar and an American is stand here in front of everyone and sincerely and humbly apologize to the Russian people he may have offended. It has to be done. There’s not one…
Rusev and Lana interrupt the apology. Lana says, “Double-double-E has publy apologized for your actions.” She tells Show this apology doesn’t appease them, and they demand a personal apology. Show says he has apologized to the Russian people he may have inadvertently disrespected. However, as far as these two are concerned, he disrespected both of them on purpose. Rusev tells Show he spit on the Russian people with his action, him and his stupid Americans. Show and America suck. Rusev then begins attacking Show with his Russian flag, nailing him in the shoulder. As Show gets to his knees, Rusev drops him with a jumping side kick. JBL says, “Show made the wrong Russian mad”, forgetting that Rusev is actually Bulgarian. Rusev begins waiving the flag as Show starts to get up. Lana screams for Rusev to turn around. He sees Show getting up and bails to the outside.
MATCH 3: SLATER GATOR (TITUS O’NEIL AND HEATH SLATER, W/LITTLE GATOR) VS. THE USOS (JEY AND JIMMY)
So…that really is the team name for Slater and Titus. They’e even got their own entrance theme and video. I don’t want to know who thought this was a good idea. Slater and Jey start. Slater backs Jey into the corner, and Jey comes back with a chop. He nails a clothesline from the other side, then misses a corner splash. Slater nails a Harlem Side Kick, then knocks Jimmy off the apron. Slater hits a few punches as the Bunny hops down to ringside. They send Little Gator after him, and Bunny leapfrogs him, then suckers him into charging into the ring post. Titus and Slater turn around after seeing this, and the Usos nail them with a pair of superkicks. Bunny rolls Gator into the ring and he, & both the Usos hit all three with a trio of Samoan Splashes, with Jey getting the 3 on Slater.
WINNERS: THE USOS.
Adam Rose and the Exotic Express come down to celebrate as one of the Usos attempts a Spinaroonie.
Renee Young is standing by with Dean Ambrose. She asks how he feels about teaming with John Cena again tonight. Boy, she really digs deep for her stories, huh? Ambrose says he has nothing to say about Cena, or to him. But, let’s talk about the guy in both their crosshairs, Seth Rollins. This business is about ass-kicking, but all the stuff Ambrose did with his case is the kind of stuff that an egomaniac can’t stand. While it was fun for Ambrose, no amount of embarrassment he can put Rollins through will erase the memory of his head getting driven through cinder blocks. So, he will go through everyone the Authority wants to put in front of him. Nothing will get in his way, and nothing will stop him from getting to Rollins.
MATCH 4: CESARO VS. R-TRUTH
Before the match starts, Truth asks the crowd where he’s at, taking a jab at himself for mistaking Milwaukee for Green Bay a few years ago. Cesaro hits a kneelift and drops Truth with a European uppercut. They trade shots until Cesaro throws Truth to the corner for some shoulderthrusts and a gut shots. He hits the deadlift gutwrench suplex, then applies a modified cobra clutch. He breaks the hold to ram Truth to the corner. Truth fights back with a few rights, corner-whips him and hits a back-body drop. Truth nails a boot and goes for the axe kick, but Cesaro avoids it and falls into the buckles. Truth meets him with some forearms, but Cesaro comes back by picking Truth up and crotching him across the top rope. He drops Truth with the Neutralizer and gets the easy win.
Lilian Garcia is in the ring, and she introduces WWE Hall of Famer, Bob Uecker, who is in the audience. Deservedly so, “Mr. Baseball” gets a huge ovation from the crowd.
Stardust is with one of those electric crystal ball things (I forget what they’re called), and he’s rambling about celebrating amongst his friends, which consist of drawings on a chalkboard. Goldust enters and says they have the cosmic key, and only it determines their fate. All of this stuff is just science fiction. Stardust starts laughing and shoves the ball to the floor before calling this science fact.
I really don’t understand the point of all the promo time Gold & Stardust get when they are otherwise not featured on the show.
Surprised Ambrose got to come out last. Ambrose and Orton start with a lock-up. Orton breaks it with a kneelift and tries to send Ambrose to the corner. Ambrose puts on the breaks and assaults Orton before sending him across the ring. Ambrose hits a snapmare, a low clothesline and a power-drive elbow for 1. Cena tags in off an armdrag and begins hitting Orton with rights. He hits a running facebuster out of the corner for 1, then hits a release fisherman’s suplex. Kane tags in, and Cena goes after him with rights. Kane comes back with rights of his own, but Cena loads the spaceship with the rocket fuel. Ambrose tags in, and the faces hit a double suplex for 2. Ambrose nails a seated dropkick against the ropes, but Kane comes back with a shoulderblock. Orton tags in and hits a boot before grinding his shin into Ambrose’s face. Ambrose explodes out of the corner with a clothesline, then tags in Cena. He and Cena hit a double wishbone, and Cena goes for the STF. Orton gets to the bottom rope, then comes back with a clothesline. Orton grinds his boot into Cena’s face, but Cena comes back with rights and a belly-to-belly for 2. Orton gets tossed to the floor, and an incoming Kane gets low-bridged outside as well. Ambrose tags in and wipes them both out with a suicide dive. Commercials.
Back from the break, Kane has Ambrose in a rear chinlock. Ambrose gets loose with a jawbreaker and hits a few rights before running into a big boot for 2. Orton tags in, and he stomps Ambrose down in the corner. Orton throws Ambrose to the outside, and Kane hits him with a kick for good measure. Orton outside now, and he goes to ram Ambrose into the announce desk. Ambrose blocks and does it to Orton instead. He hits a few rights and looks to whip Orton into the steps, but Orton reverses, sending Ambrose back-first into them. Back in the ring, Orton gets 2, then applies a rear chinlock. Ambrose breaks free with a headbutt, but Orton hits a kneelift and sends him into the corner. Ambrose blocks the charge and hits a seated missile dropkick from the middle rope. Kane tags in as Orton is holding Ambrose’s leg, preventing a tag on his end. Kane drops a quick elbow, then picks Ambrose up for an uppercut. He hits another one in the corner, then follows up with a snapmare and a low dropkick for 1. Kane applies another rear chinlock, but Ambrose breaks it by biting Kane’s hand. He then fights out of the corner, hitting Orton with a hotshot on the apron as well. Kane boots Ambrose, but Ambrose comes back with a rebound clothesline. Ambrose crawls to make a tag, but Cena drops down and heads up the ramp. Turns out Seth Rollins has come out, and Cena chases him to the back. Back in the ring, Orton tags in, and Ambrose nails him with rights, a cross-body and more rights. He knocks Kane off the apron, but then turns around into a boot by Orton. Orton hits the suspended DDT, then coils up for the RKO. Ambrose sees it coming and sneaks in a quick schoolboy for 2. He goes for Dirty Deeds, but Orton shoves him into a big boot by Kane, somehow leading to the DQ.
WINNERS VIA DISQUALIFICATION: DEAN AMBROSE AND JOHN CENA.
Orton and Kane continue to double-team Ambrose until Kane puts him down with a chokeslam. Orton then picks him up before putting him back down with an RKO. Cena runs back down to the ring, but Orton and Kane bail before he can do anything. Rollins joins Kane and Orton on the stage to celebrate.
End of show.
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