This week’s WWE Friday Night SmackDown is the final broadcast before Extreme Rules 2014 and features a Fatal Four-Way match for the U.S. title.
MATCH 1: The Wyatt Family (Luke Harper, Erick Rowan and Bray Wyatt) vs. WWE Tag Team Champions the Usos (Jey & Jimmy) and Sheamus
Jey starts with Harper, and Harper immediately begins hitting some punches. Jey comes back with some of his own, hits a boot out of the corner and a running schoolboy for 2. He nails a mule kick and an uppercut, then hits a flying shoulderblock off the ropes for 1. Sheamus tags in, and he & Harper trade blows before Harper backs him into the Wyatt corner. Rowan tags in and applies a side headlock, ramming Sheamus head-first into the top buckle in the process. Harper tags back and hits a chop to the throat. Sheamus comes back with rights until he gets sent to the corner. Harper charges in, and Sheamus catches him in a rolling fireman’s carry slam. Sheamus drops a jumping knee for 2, then gets nailed with an uppercut. Rowan back in, and he misses a splash in the corner. Sheamus hits a running shoulder and a running kneelift. Rowan hits a back elbow out of the corner, ducks a clotheslone, then gets sent to the floor with a cross-body, with Sheamus being sent to the floor in the process as well. Commercials.
WINNERS: The Wyatt Family.
After the match, Jey takes Harper and Rowan out with a suicide dive. Wyatt throws him into the barricade, and now Sheamus is taking on the Wyatts. It’s all for naught, as he gets thrown into the steps. In the ring, Harper lays Jimmy out with a discus clothesline.
Oh, yay. We get a contract signing between El Torito and Hornswoggle.
A video for Adam Rose, who debuts on RAW Monday night.
3MB, Hornswoggle, El Torito and Los Matadores are in the ring to sign their contract for the “WeeLC” Match. L. Ron Hubbard, help me. The teams talk some trash to each other, and absolutely no one cares. Vickie Guerrero, who is presiding over the thing, makes a short joke. Torito “signs” the contract with a hoof print. They climb up on the table and start shoving each other. Now they’re fighting, and JBL won’t shut the hell up. Eventually, Torito “gores” Hornswoggle off the table, and the Matadores send 3MB to the floor. Torito comes off the top with a springboard somersault plancha, taking all four out.
I can assure you, the segment was probably less exciting than I made it sound.
MATCH 2: Rob Van Dam vs. Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Colter)
Before the match starts, Cesaro and Paul Heyman come out to do some color commentary. The bell rings, and Swagger nails RVD with some kneelifts in the corner before throwing him across the ring. Swagger hits the Swagger Bomb for 2, then hits a belly-to-belly for another 2. RVD blocks a kick and hits a step-over spinning heel kick, sending Swagger to the floor by the announce desk. Swagger gets up and blasts Cesaro with a forearm. RVD dropkicks him through the ropes, then goes for a moonsault off the apron. He misses, lands on his feet on the floor, then gets nailed with a big boot. Cesaro temporarily stops Swagger from re-entering the ring, which allows RVD to hit a spinning heel kick. He comes off the top with a Five-Star Frog Splash and gets the 3.
WINNER: Rob Van Dam.
Cesaro attacks RVD after the match with some forearms to the back, then lays him out with the Neutralizer.
A video for Bo Dallas airs. I’m guessing he’ll be debuting on Monday as well.
MATCH 3: R-Truth (w/Xavier Woods) vs. Alexander Rusev (w/Lana)
Lana’s hair looks especially stupid tonight. She rants about hating Americans before introducing Rusev. Does anyone truly like this gimmick? Wasn’t the invading evil foreigner gimmick already overdone oh, I don’t know, 20+ years ago? Rusev shoves Truth to the corner for a series of kneelifts. Truth comes back with an uppercut, but Rusev no-sells and continues the attack. Truth hits a couple more shots, gets hit with a kneelift, escapes a powerslam, ducks a clothesline and hits a jumping side kick. He knocks him off his feet with a second, sending Rusev to the floor. Outside, Rusev knocks Woods down. Truth tries wiping him out with a plancha, but Rusev catches him and rams him back-first into the apron. Back in the ring, Rusev tries to continue the attack, but Woods jumps on his back, leading to the DQ.
WINNER VIA DISQUALIFICATION: Alexander Rusev.
After the match, Truth hits Rusev with a dropkick, then he and Woods hit a double dropkick that sends Rusev to the floor, where Woods hits a somersault plancha. Rusev gets back on the apron, and Truth knocks him down with another dropkick.
Daniel Bryan comes down to the ring, still sporting a neck brace. He says we are all the same. He’s no different than anyone in the world. We stand up for what we believe in. We fight for what we have. We overcome insurmountable odds every day. Also, we take care of our families. Ask anyone, our number-one priority is to protect our families. This Sunday, with faith, hope, determination and heart, he’s going to walk into Extreme Rules as champion, and he will walk out as champion. But this is about way more than the WWE World Championship. He has been beaten up, attacked, put in a neck brace, and he doesn’t care, because Kane put his hands on Bryan’s wife. This is more than a fight; this is a war. This Sunday, at Extreme Rules, by any means necessary, the “Devil’s Favorite Demon” is going home. Even if Bryan has to go with him, he’s sending Kane straight to hell.
Kane appears on the TitanTron and he says Bryan says this like it’s a bad thing. Kane likes hell. When they arrive together, Kane will give him a tour. It looks something like [a video of Kane destroying Bryan in recent weeks]. You think him putting his hands on Brie was bad? He’s only just begun to show Bryan the depths of his depravity. Kane begins laughing, and Bryan takes his neck brace off, throwing it to the ground.
MATCH 4: Dolph Ziggler vs. Magneto
Magneto is Damien Sandow, in case you didn’t watch RAW on Monday night. Ziggler hits a hip toss and an armdrag into an armbar. Magneto backs Ziggler to the corner for a boot, then nails a right to the head. Ziggler reverses a corner whip, hits a jumping corner clothesline and a neckbreaker. The Show-Off Elbow gets 2. Magneto trips Ziggler into the middle rope, then hits a flipping neckbreaker for 2. He follows up with some kneelifts in the corner and goes for a suplex, but Ziggler reverses into a small package for 2. Magneto gets up and hits a clothesline for 2, then applies the Magnet. Ziggler counters with a jawbreaker, but Magneto boots him in the gut. The Side-Russian legsweep connects, as does the “Elbow of Magneto”. Ziggler comes back with rights, then pretends to be affected by Magneto’s powers. He hits a dropkick, hits the Zig-Zag and gets 3.
WINNER: Dolph Ziggler.
Poor Sandow. Someone in WWE must truly hate him.
MATCH 5: Intercontinental Champion Big E vs. Titus O’Neil (non-title)
E hits a waistlock takedown, then rolls Titus to the ropes for a break. They crisscross, and E hits a shoulderblock. He goes for the Big Ending, but Titus escapes, so E clotheslines him to the floor. Outside, Titus throws E over the announce desk, stomps him, then throws him on the desk before dumping him nearly head-first to the floor. Back in the ring, Titus continues the attack with mounted punches and a series of slaps to the chest. He nails more rights in the corner, then hits E with an over-the-shoulder backbreaker drop. Titus stomps E down while holding the ropes and refuses to stop, forcing the ref to ring the bell.
WINNER VIA DISQUALIFICATION: Big E.
After the match, E pretty much no-sells everything that just happened and tackles Titus in the ring before taking him outside and throwing him into the barricade. Tits then gets sent back-first into the steps. E then slams the back of Titus’ head into the front of the announce desk. E stomps him, then throws him into the barricade once more before launching him across the announce desk. E tosses the commentator’s chairs aside, grabs Titus and rolls him in the ring, where E just stands on his chest and raises his arm over his head.
Can someone explain to me what WWE is attempting with Titus O’Neil lately?
Bray Wyatt plays a record of the solo child singing from Monday Night RAW, then says children make beautiful music. If only John Cena could have seen his own face on RAW. It was priceless. It’s as if those children reached inside of Cena’s beating heart and pulled his soul out before handing it to Wyatt. They trust Wyatt because he believes children are the future. He offers them hope, a way out. He offers them love and understanding. His word is the one they shall follow, and his light shall lead them. Extreme Rules has become so much more than a cage match; it will be the reckoning of the entire Cenation. When he climbs out of the cage, he’ll be taking them all with him. They’ll be his, and then what will that leave Cena with? Nothing. Just a withered, old man, rotting alone with a decrepit old heart. Follow the buzzards.
MATCH 6-Fatal 4-Way for the WWE United States Championship: Dean Ambrose (Champion) vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Curtis Axel vs. Ryback
Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins have been banned from ringside. Axel, Ryback and ADR corner Ambrose, and he says, “screw it”, attacking all three. Eventually, they overpower him and stomp him down. ADR foot-chokes Ambrose over the bottom rope, then shoves him to the corner. Ambrose fights back once again, and once again they triple-team him. ADR throws him to the floor, and Axel rolls ADR up in a schoolboy for 2. ADR then does the same to Ryback. Axel breaks it up and throws ADR to the floor. Ryback gets in Axel’s face, and Ambrose clips Ryback’s knee from behind before doing the same to Axel. Ryback recovers and hits a standing spinebuster before Rybaxel throw Ambrose to the floor. Commercials.
WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: Dean Ambrose.
Rybaxel begin attacking Ambrose after the match, but it doesn’t last long, as Reigns and Rollins show up. Reigns cuts through Ryback with a spear, then launches Axel to the floor, where Rollins wipes him out with a somersault plancha. Rollins rolls Axel back in, where Reigns nails him with a Superman Punch. Axel then gets laid out with a triple powerbomb.
End of show
Dustin Nichols is a freelance writer, and you can keep track of all of his work on his Facebook page, which can be found at www.facebook.com/DustinNicholsWriter. Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out his mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:
[amazon_link id=”B00JHH1YAW” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]WWE The Paul Heyman Story[/amazon_link]
[amazon_link id=”B00HRYH7G2″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ] Ultimate Warrior: The Ultimate Collection DVD[/amazon_link]