I apologize for the delay for my recap this week. I was having problems with my internet yesterday, and the feed for this week’s show didn’t go up on YouTube until this morning (Sunday).
Looks like we’re starting the show with a match. Brad Maddox is once again on commentary for the night.
Before the match starts, Damien Sandow says that, what happened last Monday on RAW was nothing short of a professional and managerial abomination. Not only was their sure-fire victory over the New-Age Outlaws taken from them, and not only was their post-match endeavor with The Bella Twins postponed, but they were involved in a match they were neither mentally or physically prepared for against these two Bulgarians (Sheamus and Orton). His uncle Minnish Sandow told him a story once, and it goes like this…Cody Rhodes cuts him off and says they don’t deserve the story. It’s simple: Sheamus and Orton ruined their date and their night, so it’s their turn to ruin Sheamus’ and Orton’s.
Rhodes and Sheamus start with Sheamus hitting a hip throw. Sheamus runs through Rhodes off the ropes, but gets caught with some rights. Sheamus counters a corner whip and catches Rhodes, but he escapes and tags in Sandow. Sheamus blocks a kick, hits a short-arm and drops a leg. Sandow fights out of the corner with kicks. Sheamus counters a corner whip again, hits a running shoulder thrust, a kneelift and a pair of Irish Hammers. Sandow escapes White Noise, but gets sent to the apron, where he’s hit with the tied-up forearm shots. Sheamus knocks Rhodes off the apron for good measure, and that allows Sandow to hotshot him. On the floor, Rhodes hits the Beautiful Disaster from the announce desk. Commercials.
We’re back, and Sheamus is hit with a dropkick by Rhodes for 2. Sandow tags in and beats Sheamus down. He pulls Sheamus to the apron, where he drops a series of elbows. Sheamus fights back with headbutts, so Rhodes tags in and prevents Sheamus from making the tag. Rhodes tags Sandow back in off an arm wringer, and Sandow applies a front chancery. Sheamus fights out, so Sandow decks him before stomping him down in the corner. Sheamus fights back from his knees until Sandow boots him. Sandow charges in, but gets caught with a pair of boots. Sheamus backflips to the top, where he hits the Battering Ram. Orton and Rhodes tag in, and Orton hits 3 out of the 4 Moves of Boredom. He changes things up by hitting an exploder suplex, then hits Move 4 with the Suspended DDT. Sheamus nails Sandow with a Brogue Kick, and Orton hits the RKO on Rhodes for 3.
WINNERS: Randy Orton and Sheamus. The Shield’s music hits, as you would probably expect. Orton and Sheamus are looking all over the place for them, but we see them on the TitanTron. Dean Ambrose tells them to relax and not to be afraid. Or maybe they do. Roman Reigns says not tonight, thought. Ambrose tells them they’re standing in The Shield’s ring, and if they don’t believe it, ask The Big Show. They served justice to Show just like they’ve done to everyone else: Ryback, Sheamus, Cena, Orton, The Rock, etc. Rollins says they’ve taken Cena and The Rock multiple times, and flattened them each time. Reigns compares them to roadkill. Rollins says they take from The Shield because they’re the main event. Somehow, The Shield doesn’t even have a match at Wrestlemania, and that’s the greatest injustice he’s ever heard of. Ambrose tells Sheamus and Orton to find a partner. Orton says he’s in, and Sheamus says he’ll see them at Wrestlemania. Rollins calls Wrestlemania “The Showcase of Justice”, and we will believe in The Shield. Looks like we’ve got a 6-man for WM29.
In the main event tonight, Chris Jericho takes on Jack Swagger. Also tonight, Ryback faces Mark Henry.
Another Fandango video. Please fire this man, Vince.
We see Orton and Sheamus talking, and Sheamus says they definitely made the right choice. The Big Show walks up and says they look like they could use a partner against The Shield. He doesn’t trust either of them, but he wants that spot. They need a partner who can bulldoze anything in front of him. Orton says they agree, and Sheamus says Show is right, and that’s why they’ve picked…him. The camera pans over to show Ryback standing there.
MATCH 2: Aksana and Tamina Snuka vs. WWE Divas Champion Kaitlyn and Layla
Snuka and Layla start, and Snuka shoves Layla into the corner. Layla comes back with some kicks. Snuka blocks an Irish whip, but gets a mule kick. She ducks the Bombshell and catches the second one, shoving Layla to the mat. She whips Layla across the ring, then throws Layla to the corner a couple of times. Aksana tags in for some kicks before tagging Snuka back in for kicks of her own. Aksana back in as we see the Funkadactyls looking on from the back. Aksana puts Layla in a modified bow-and-arrow, then lets go to go for a pin, getting 2. Layla gets sent to the corner once more, where Snuka tags in, hitting a float-over suplex for 2. Layla tries to fight back, but gets hit with a knee lift. She dodges a corner charge and rolls Snuka up for 2. Kaitlyn tags in, as does Aksana. Kaitlyn hits a pair of clotheslines and a running shoulderblock. She hits an inverted DDT for 2 before going to the ropes. Snuka hits her in the back from the apron, so Aksana goes for a bodyslam. Kaitlyn escapes and shoves Aksana into Snuka before hitting a spear. Layla makes a blind tag and hits LOL for 3.
WINNERS: Kaitlyn and Layla. We see the Funkadactyls walking from the monitor when they’re stopped by The Bella Twins. They call the Twins a big influence on them. Nikki makes some stupid snide remarks, then Brie does the same thing before attacking the Funkadactyls. God, I did not miss listening to the Bellas speak. If they weren’t dating John Cena and Daniel Bryan, we’d never have to see them again. Thanks, John and Bryan.
MATCH 3: WWE Tag Team Co-Champion Kane (w/Daniel Bryan) vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/AJ and Big E. Langston)
Kane immediately attacks Ziggler with kneelifts in the corner. He hits a body blow and an uppercut before stomping Ziggler down. Kane hits a shoulder thrust in the corner, followed by another uppercut. Hip toss out of the corner before Kane sends him in with a whip. Ziggler avoids a charge, but still gets nailed with an uppercut, sending him to the floor. Ziggler plays cat-and-mouse to sucker Kane back in the ring. He hits some rights before running into a big boot. Kane hits a bodyslam, then another. Ziggler manages to hit a back elbow and some rights, but gets backdropped to the floor. He lands on the apron, though, and hotshots Kane. Up top, Ziggler hits a nice missile dropkick for 2. Ziggler hits the Show-Off Elbow for 2. Rear chinlock is applied, but Kane throws him off. Ziggler hits a drop toehold into the buckles and follows up with a leaping DDT for 2. Kane fights back with an uppercut and hits a clothesline. Delayed vertical suplex connects, and Kane follows up with a low dropkick for 2. Corner clothesline by Kane followed by another, and he goes for the sidewalk slam. Ziggler spins out and applies a sleeper. Kane breaks it by backing into the corner. Ziggler blocks a charge and comes off the middle rope but jumps right into an uppercut for 2. Kane goes up top and hits a flying clothesline. He calls for the chokeslam, but AJ jumps on the apron to cause a distraction. Meanwhile, Bryan tries to attack Langston from behind, but Langston throws him through the timekeeper’s table. Kane drops Langston with a big boot, and as he’s getting back in the ring, he hits a rocker dropper. Ziggler hits the Zig Zag and gets the 3.
WINNER: Dolph Ziggler. Kind of surprised by that ending, but the right man went over. After the match, Ziggler taunts Kane, and Kane goozles him. He looks to go for the chokeslam, but Langston runs through Kane before hitting Sudden Impact.
We get another video of Ricardo Rodriguez and ADR making fun of Swagger and Colter. This time, it’s about Canadians smuggling maple syrup into this country. This segues into R-Truth and Chris Jericho watching this video on a monitor, laughing. Swagger and Colter enter and asks if Jericho thinks it’s funny when Swagger beat him and four others at EC and put the weight of the country on his back. Jericho is no different than ADR. He snuck across the border from Canada and is now taking what doesn’t belong to him. Jericho points out he was actually born in America and calls Colter a cross between Rush Limbaugh and Yosemite Sam. Swagger should be more worried about his match against ADR at Wrestlemania, as well as his match against Jericho tonight. So, until they can beat Jericho, please shut the hell up.
More Fandango propaganda. Did Vince McMahon honestly think this gimmick would get over?
We’re supposed to have a match between Fandango and The Great Khali. However, Fandango comes out with his anonymous broad as Khali and Natalya are in the ring, and says something about interpreting the language of dance, then calls Khali’s dancing unacceptable. It’s obvious he can’t dance at all, so let’s try this: let’s see if you can pronounce his name correctly. Khail calls him Fandango, so Fandango coaches him on how to pronounce it. Khali obviously butchers it, and Fandango calls that horrible. He hopes Khali has a lot of money, because he’s going to have to reimburse everyone here, since they’re going to once again miss out on the debut of Fandango.
Matt Striker is in the back, and he announced the 6-man mentioned earlier has been made official. He’s standing by with Sheamus and Randy Orton. He asks Sheamus about the odds being evened up with Ryback on their side, and Sheamus says the odds are now in their favor. Orton says we’re about to get a sample of Ryback in his match with Mark Henry in a few moments. Just as Sheamus is about to speak again, The Shield assault both guys, and Striker becomes a casualty of war in the process. They throw Orton into the wall a few times before throwing Sheamus through a table.
After the commercials, we see Booker T, Teddy Long and some officials checking on Sheamus and Orton. Ryback walks up and asks what happens. Book tells him they’ve got this, and right now, Ryback needs to deal with Mark Henry.
MATCH 4: Mark Henry vs. Ryback
Lock-up to start, and Ryback eventually backs Henry into the corner. The Shield’s music hits right away, and we see them enter through the crowd. Henry bails, and the three attack Ryback.
MATCH 5: Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Colter) vs. Chris Jericho
Swagger backs Jericho into the corner with a lock-up, but gives a clean break. Another lock-up, and Swagger turns it into a waistlock. Jericho counters into his own and turns it into a side headlock. Swagger backs Jericho into the corner, then knocks Jericho down with a right. Swagger stomps Jericho down, then pulls him up for some rights. Jericho counters with chops and rights, then hits a nasty clothesline. Jericho backdrops Swagger to the floor, but Swagger lands on the apron. Jericho hits a springboard dropkick, sending Swagger to the floor. Commercials.
We’re back, and Swagger hits a running knee in the corner. He applies a standing legbar on Jericho, then locks in a double chicken wing as he continuously screams, “We the people!” Jericho breaks the hold by kicking Swagger in the knee, then hits a back suplex. Swagger pops back up and hits a running clothesline for 2. Swagger grinds Jericho’s face into the mat before applying a front chancery. Jericho gets back to his feet, then gets a 2 off a move I didn’t see since there was a glitch in my feed. Jericho assaults Swagger in the corner until Swagger reverses a corner whip and hits a running chop block. He applies the Patriot Lock, but Jericho kicks him off and rolls him into a small package for 2. Swagger is back up, and he hits a belly-to-belly suplex for 2. Commercials.
Back from the break, Swagger hits an avalanche and picks Jericho up for a slam, but Jericho counters into a DDT for 2. Jericho kicks Swagger a few times, but gets pancaked off the ropes. Swagger grabs Jericho in a gutwrench, but Jericho counters into the Walls. Swagger punches his way out and manages to apply the Patriot Lock once more. Jericho counters into a victory roll, then turns it into the Walls of Jericho. Colter jumps on the apron, and the slight distraction allows Swagger to get a rope break and roll to the floor. Jericho baseball slides him through the ropes, then sends him into the steps. Back in the ring, Jericho goes up top and hits a cross-body for 2. Jericho hits a series of knee strikes until Swagger sends him into the middle buckle. Swagger misses a corner charge and Jericho goes for the Codebreaker, but Swagger shoves him off into the turnbuckles in a nasty spot. He hits the falling Doctor Bomb, and it’s enough to get the 3.
WINNER: Jack Swagger.
End of show.
Good main event tonight, and the Kane/Ziggler match was pretty fun, too.
As always, feel free to follow me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/xdustineflx ,and if you like Married…With Children, you can follow my Al Bundy parody account at http://www.twitter.com/bundyisms. Also follow my personal blog at http://nerdslikeme.blogspot.com (feedback is welcome). Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out my mom’s official site by clicking the banner below: