Dean Ambrose’s music hits, and we see him in the crowd, still carrying the WWE World title. He hits the ring and says it’s been a wacky week. It’s amazing what you can see for a handful of beads in Louisiana. There’s a saying that he was taught in New Orleans. Ambrose tries to speak French and fails, before saying the saying translates to “let the good times roll”. That’s what he did on RAW, when he took the title belt to Bourbon Street. He had the best time, and we see pictures of his adventures. After all that, he hit the casino and played roulette with the title belt. He looked up and saw a commercial for RAW, featuring Seth Rollins. So, he hailed a cab and bought a ticket. We see a picture of him with a scalper, and Ambrose makes a crack about how he doesn’t think it was a real ticket. Luckily, Roman Reigns saved him a seat at ringside. Even after a night in New Orleans…I don’t know what he says next, because the screen blips, then the RAW logo flashes for a second before we’re back to Ambrose. He says that stings (still not sure what). He hopes Rollins is watching and remembers what it felt like to be abandoned by his friends. He hopes Rollins remembers when his world crumbled. He hopes Rollins remembers Ambrose standing over him with the title. He hopes Rollins remembers Ambrose planting him with Dirty Deeds. If not, they’re going to replay the whole thing this Sunday at MITB when Ambrose officially becomes the World Champion.
Kane comes out and says Rollins is in fact done with Ambrose. This week on RAW, he had the opportunity to choose any opponent to prove he could win on his own. He chose J&J Security, and he failed. If that happens Sunday, Rollins loses the title. Rollins won’t have any help from the Authority. On Sunday, he will truly be on his own, just like he’ll be on his own tonight against another MITB participant, Dolph Ziggler.
Tonight, Neville, Randy Orton and Roman Reigns will take on Sheamus, Kofi Kingston and Kane.
MATCH 1: INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION RYBACK VS. THE MIZ (NON-TITLE)
We learn Ryback will defend the IC title against the Big Show at MITB, because punching Sheamus makes you the #1 contender to a title, apparently. Miz does his stupid prematch crap, and Ryback tries to go after him, only to have Miz bail to the floor. Miz tries to sneak in, but Ryback sees him coming and scares him back to the apron. Miz tries for a roll-up through the legs, but Ryback just steps back a few steps and begins slamming the back of Miz’s head into the mat while calling him stupid. Ryback hits a delayed vertical suplex, holding him up for an impressive amount of time before impact, which gets 2. Miz rolls back to the floor, and Ryback follows. Miz suckers him and sends him face-first into the announce desk. Commercials.
Back from the break, Miz has Ryback in a terrible sleeper. Two simple submissions, and Miz can do neither of them correctly. Miz tries to jump onto Ryback’s back to add a body scissors to it, but Ryback turns it into a backpack stunner instead. Ryback hits a pair of shoulders, ducks a clothesline and hits a powerslam off the ropes for 2. Ryback sets up a powerbomb, but Miz escapes and clips his left knee. He boots Ryback in the head, then applies the figure-4, aka the other simple submission he’s terrible at. After a 2-count, Ryback easily breaks free and hoists Miz up for a powerbomb. Miz escapes and hits a snap DDT for 2. Miz goes for the SCF, only to have Ryback immediately escape and plant him with a spinebuster. Miz bails to the floor as the Meat Hook gets loaded up, but Ryback follows him and nails him in the back. Back in the ring, Ryback goes for Shell Shocked, but Miz grabs the ropes and escapes before hitting the Skull-Crushing Finale. He goes for the pin, but Ryback kicks out at 2 to Miz’s disbelief. Miz stomps Ryback down, then tries to choke him over the ropes in the corner. Ryback pulls himself up as Miz mocks him, calling for a Meat Hook. Miz charges in, and Ryback Meat Hooks him into oblivion. Shell Shocked connects and gets 3.
As Ryback celebrates, the Big Show comes out onto the stage. He congratulates Ryback. He wouldn’t say he’s impressed, but it’s impossible to impress him. He has 20 years experience and a lifetime of being a giant. From day one, he’s had a license to do what he wants, when he wants. This Sunday, he’s going to take the IC title, and there’s nothing Ryback can do about it. Ryback had his moment on RAW when he hit Shell Shocked. Woo-hoo. This Sunday, it will be a different ball game. No matter how hungry Ryback gets, he won’t be able to digest the KO Punch. The reality is the “Big Guy” is no match for the Big Show. Ryback says if Show wants to step in the ring, he’ll not only have to deal with a raging Ryback, he’ll have to deal with thousands of ragin’ Cajuns. So, don’t sing it; bring it, little man. Ryback taunts Show, and Show screams that he’ll tear Ryback’s head off while marching down to the ring. He stops short and says he doesn’t give fights away, and he doesn’t do what people want. Sorry, “Big Guy”. Show walks up to the stage, turns and tells Ryback his feeding time is this Sunday.
R-Truth is on commentary for the next match. He’s calling Byron Saxton “The Coach” before calling Todd Phillips “JBL” and saying he lost weight.
MATCH 2: JACK SWAGGER VS. KING BARRETT
Barrett and Truth will go one-on-one this Sunday on the kick-off show. Swagger gets the jobber non-entrance this week. Swagger grabs a waistlock, but Barrett elbows his way out and proceeds to stomp Swagger down. Swagger comes back with rights, but then runs into a back elbow. Truth starts trying on Barrett’s entrance gear, which gets Barrett’s attention, allowing Swagger to roll him up for 2. Barrett ducks a clothesline and nails a mule kick before looking back at Truth and telling him to take it off before he gets a Royal Bull Hammer. Barrett rolls to the apron as Truth climbs onto the announce desk and does a dance. He sees Barrett looking at him and starts to take off the gear. Barrett approaches him as Truth drops the crown and runs away. Barrett chases after him, but is met with a clothesline by Swagger at ringside. Back in the ring, Swagger hits the Swagger Bomb for 2. Swagger goes for the Patriot Lock, but Barrett kicks him away, then nails the Royal Bull Hammer for 3.
WINNER: KING BARRETT.
We get a recap of the promo “battles” between Paige and Nikki Bella. This leads to Paige walking around backstage before Alicia Fox gets into her face. She says Paige doesn’t speak for her, and the only change needed around here is Fox removing her from the divas division tonight.
Part of a sit-down interview with Lana is shown. She talks about how kind Dolph Ziggler is, and how he respects her. She continues complimenting him before saying the rumors don’t matter. Rusev hobbles in and says not to ruin this because Ziggler is brainwashing her. Ziggler’s been with a bunch of other women. Rusev has always been with Lana and never needed anyone else. He begs her to just submit herself to him and no one else. Lana looks at him and simply says it’s over before leaving the studio. Rusev begins screaming at Michael Cole (the interviewer) before chasing him off.
MATCH 2: DOLPH ZIGGLER VS. WWE WORLD CHAMPION SETH ROLLINS (NON-TITLE)
Rollins applies a wastelock and turns it into a front chancery. Ziggler counters into a hammerlock beofre Rollins gets a rope-break. Back up, Rollins boots Ziggler and hits a hip throw. Ziggler tries to break free from the side headlock, but Rollins applies more pressure. Ziggler manages to twist to his knees and get back up before Rollins shoulders him off the ropes. They crisscross before Ziggler hits a hiptoss. He goes for the superkick, but Rollins sees it coming and hits the floor. Back in, Ziggler applies a waistlock and tries to turn it into an abdominal stretch. Rollins backs him into the corner and hits a cheap shot while calling for a break. Rollins chokes Ziggler over the middle rope and sends him in for an Irish whip and a back-body drop. Ziggler counters with a neckbreaker for 2, then goes for some mounted punches in the corner. Rollins slides out and hits Ziggler with an electric chair for 2. He drops a couple knees, then hits a short-arm clothesline for another 2 before applying a rear chinlock. Ziggler eventually escapes, but Rollins quickly puts him back down with a suplex for 2 before reapplying the hold. Ziggler escapes once more before Rollins goes for another suplex. Ziggler escapes and clotheslines Rollins to the floor, the momentum taking him down as well. Outside, Ziggler rams Rollins’ head into the barricade. Rollins hits a back elbow before Ziggler tries for a dropkick. Rollins catches him and catapults him into the timekeeper’s area. Rollins rolls in to break the count as we go to commercials.
Back from the break, Rollins nails a corner forearm, then sends Ziggler face-first to the mat. Rollins hits an abdominal stomp before Ziggler hits a few quick punches. Ziggler sends him in with an Irish whip, but Rollins comes back with a Sling Blade for 2. Rollins rakes at Ziggler’s face, then applies another rear chinlock. Ziggler gets to his feet and gets free with a jawbreaker. Rollins runs into a back elbow, then gets backdropped to the floor. Rollins manages to roll back in pretty quickly, and now both are struggling to get to their feet. Rollins pulls himself up first, misses a clothesline, gets hit with two from Ziggler, then receives a corner splash. He reverses a neckbreaker and goes for a back suplex. Ziggler lands on his feet and hits a leaping DDT for 2. Ziggler gets up and goes for the rocker dropper, but Rollins catches him in a powerbomb. Ziggler reverses into a sunset flip for 2. He misses the rocker dropper again, gets rolled up, rolls through, ducks a thrust kick and rolls Rollins up in a schoolboy for 2. Rollins misses a roundhouse, and Ziggler backslides him for 2 before finally hitting the rocker dropper for 2. I absolutely refuse to call it the Fame-Asser/Famouser, regardless of the commentators. Rollins pulls himself up and catches Ziggler in a fireman’s carry. Ziggler slides to the apron and hits a hotshot before coming off the top with a cross-body. Rollins rolls through and grabs a handful of tights for 3.
WINNER: SETH ROLLINS.
MATCH 3: ALICIA FOX VS. PAIGE
The two lock up before Fox applies a waistlock. Paige breaks free by ramming Fox into the corner, then nails a series of back elbows and a big kick to the face. She climbs to the middle rope and repeatedly kicks Fox in the head. Fox goes for a running boot, but Paige catches it and turns it into a version of the Regal Stretch. Fox crawls to the ropes and manages to get the break, then kicks Paige in the head from the apron. Fox snaps Paige’s neck into the middle buckle from the apron, and a boot from the apron gets 2. Fox gets another 2, attempts a submission, forgets how to apply it, then goes for a rear chinlock instead. Paige gets to her feet, but Fox snaps her down by the neck before reapplying the rear chinlock. Fox breaks it to hit a few knees, then applies it once more. Paige breaks free, avoids a big boot in the corner and rolls Fox up for 3. She misses a clothesline and eats a big boot and a clothesline, getting Fox a 2-count. Fox climbs to the top, but Paige meets her with a forearm. They trade shots as Paige climbs up, before she sends Fox to the floor with a hotshot. Paige goes to the apron and wipes Fox out with a cannonball before rolling her back into the ring. Paige goes for the PTO, but Fox kicks her away. She misses the axe kick, then eats a pair of back kicks. Paige locks in the PTO, sits ALL THE WAY down, and Fox quickly taps out.
You know, I’m glad Kevin Owens is getting so much attention in this feud with Cena, but I’d like to know why the US title hasn’t been involved, especially since it started in the midst of Cena’s open challenge bit.
Renee Young is standing by with the Prime-Time Players. She starts to ask a question, but Titus O’Neil interrupts and asks the question for her, which is whether or not they’re ready to face the New Day for the tag belts this Sunday. He says you damn right they’re ready. Darren Young says the PTP are like butter-they’re on a roll. Titus says fans have recently been seeing a “coming out” party for the PTP. Young says that party was last summer. Titus says that was exclusively Young’s “coming out” party (referring to Young being openly gay), and he should be proud of that. This Sunday, however, they both will be proud to get rid of the New Day, as well as the clap, which they will replace with a more subtle clap. They do their own version, with their name in stead of New Day, and Renee Young joins in.
Koif starts for his side, while Reigns volunteers for his. They lock up, and Kofi applies an arm wringer. Reigns counters and whips Kofi down by the neck before hitting a running boot for 1. Reigns hits a headbutt, then tags in Neville. Neville continues to work on the arm, driving Kofi to the mat. Kofi rolls to his feet and nails a forearm. He kicks Neville in the corner and whips him across the ring. Neville avoids contact, handsprings across the ring and hits a springboard cross-body for 2. Kofi backs him to the corner and tags in Sheamus, who stomps Neville down. Neville crawls for the tag, but Sheamus drops him with a forearm. He escapes a slam attempt and tags in Orton. Orton hits a hotshot from the apron, then nails Sheamus with punches and kicks. He hits a clothesline out of the corner, then goes for the Garvin Stomp before dropping a knee for 1. He comes back with a kitchen sink, then backs him into the corner. Orton fights off Sheamus’ teammates before running into a tilt-a-whirl powerslam. Commercials.
Back from the break, Sheamus has Orton in a rear chinlock. Orton counters with a back suplex. Orton rolls to his corner and tags in Neville. Neville ducks a clothesline, slides through the legs, hits several kicks and lands a boot to the head. He dropkicks Kane and Kofi off the apron, then blasts Sheamus with a corner enziguri. He heads up top, but Kofi distracts the referee, allowing Kane to crotch Neville. Sheamus recovers and hits Neville with a series of kneelifts, then slams him off the buckles. Kane tags in, and the crowd falls deathly ill. He hits an uppercut after some stomps, then hits another stomp. Neville gets corner-whipped, receives a clothesline and walks into a sidewalk slam for 2. Kofi tags in and stomps Neville int he back for 2 before applying a chinlock with a 3/4-nelson. Neville counters with a legdrag, but Kofi pops up with a quick dropkick for 2. Sheamus tags back in and hits the Irish Curse not once, not twice, but thrice, as Woods won’t shut the hell up at ringside. Sheamus applies a rear chinlock as Neville reaches for his corner. He manages to fight his way out, so Sheamus throws him to the corner. Neville avoids a shoulder charge, and Sheamus collides with the ring post before falling to the floor. Neville makes the tag to Reigns as Kofi tags in. Reigns hits a pair of clotheslines, ducks one and hits a third, turning Kofi inside-out. Reigns nails a corner clothesline as E jumps on the apron. Reigns hits him with an uppercut, then slingshots Woods into the ring from the apron. Woods gets thrown to the floor, and when Reigns turns around, he catches Kofi with a Samoan drop. He loads up the Superman Punch, but Kane intercepts him and hits a chokeslam. Orton drops Kane with an RKO. Sheamus drops Orton with a Brogue Kick. Sheamus eats a missile dropkick from Neville. Kofi nails Neville with Trouble in Paradise. Kofi charges at Reigns in the corner, who moves. Kofi lands on the middle rope and dives off, only to have Reigns knock him out of the sky with a Superman Punch. Reigns covers for 2, only to have the other 2/3 of the New Day break up the pin, leading to the DQ.
WINNERS VIA DISQUALIFICATION: NEVILLE, RANDY ORTON AND ROMAN REIGNS.
The New Day continue to work over Reigns, with E and Woods hitting the leaping DDT/Big Ending combo. Woods pulls a ladder from under the ring as E helps Kofi back up. Woods sets it up, and the two help Kofi begin to climb. Dolph Ziggler’s music hits, and he brings out a ladder of his own. E and Woods try to meet him at ringside, but he runs through them with the ladder. He then clotheslines Kofi to the floor, sending himself out in the process. Neville rolls in, pulls the ladder next to the ropes as the rest of the wrestlers are fighting at rings, then climbs up. He perches himself, then wipes out everyone with a cross-body. Have I mentioned how much of an afterthought Orton is in WWE right now? Anyway, Neville recovers, sets the ladder up in the ring once more, then climbs up and retrieves the briefcase before standing triumphantly at the top.
END OF SHOW.