Chris Jericho returns and Randy Orton goes one-on-one with Dean Ambrose on this week’s WWE Friday Night SmackDown.
MATCH 1-WWE United States Championship: Sheamus (Champion) vs. Alberto Del Rio
ADR begins with rights, but Sheamus quickly comes back with some of his own before backing ADR into the corner for an assault. ADR comes back with a pair of boots, a snapmare and a kick to the spine. ADR hits some mounted punches in the corner, but then runs into a back elbow. Sheamus ducks a clothesline and hits a rolling fireman’s carry slam. A jumping kneedrop connects, and now Sheamus pelts ADR with rights. Sheamus nails a pair of European upeprcuts, but ADR comes back with a clothesline out of the corner. He completely whiffs a stomp, then kicks Sheamus to the apron. Outside, ADR nails a boot to the side of the head, and now both men are on the floor. Sheamus makes a comeback, throwing ADR into the barricade. ADR returns the favor by whipping Sheamus into the steps. ADR rols Sheamus onto the apron, where he hits a Backstabber, sending Sheamus back to the floor. Commercials.
WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: Sheamus.
Seth Rollins comes out, MITB case in-hand. He says that, last Monday, he was seconds away from cashing in on John Cena. He has a message for Cena: you got lucky, but the clock is still ticking. Not even 24 hours into his 15th reign as champion, he was unconscious, flat on his back in this ring. That doesn’t bode well for Cena because, on a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero (nice Fight Club reference there). What that means is that, sooner rather than later, Rollins will cash in and become the new WWE World Champion. Look at this face. Look at it and get used to it, because very soon, this will be the new face of WWE.
Dean Ambrose comes out and calls Rollins delusional. He really thinks he’ll get his hands on the titles? Not while Ambrose is around. No matter where Rollins is, no matter what he does, no matter what plans he and his sugar daddy, Triple H, concoct, Ambrose will be there. How did Rollins’ coronation pan out on Monday night? We go to the footage of Rollins attempting to cash in, only to have Ambrose take him out. Back to the arena, Ambrose tells Rollins to watch that footage over and over again, because that’s his life for the next year. That case is a curse, not a blessing. It’s every excuse Ambrose needs to ruin Rollins’ life. Rollins doesn’t care. He knows Ambrose better than everyone, and Ambrose can’t keep this up for a year, and he can’t stop Rollins from cashing in. Ambrose walks down to the ring, saying of course he can, and he’ll start right now. Ambrose hits the ring, ducks a shot with the case and begins assaulting Rollins. Randy Orton hits the ring and begins double-teaming Ambrose with Rollins. Roman Reigns hits the ring to even things up. He fights both Rollins and Orton off before throwing Rollins into Ambrose’s fists. Eventually, both heels retreat up the ramp. That’s when Triple H comes out and says Ambrose and Reigns have made their point. Now he’ll make his point, which is the only one that matters. Ambrose wants a fight, so he’ll get one against Orton tonight. As for Reigns, since he likes to stick his nose in the business of others, he’s out of the Fatal 4-Way at Battleground if he interferes in tonight’s main event.
We get another Stardust promo, and he’s talking about a name for his team with Goldust. What’s in a name? Goldust says he doesn’t know, but it must be important. He points up and says it’s written in the stars. Stardust calls their team a celestial entity like the world has never seen, then blows glitter everywhere.
Byron Saxton is standing by with Roman Reigns. He asks about what Trips just said about tonight’s main event. Reigns says Trips will do what he has to do to protect his baby boy. He also knows Ambrose will be just fine tonight. He’s not jeopardizing his spot in that Fatal 4-Way. He’s walking out of Battleground as the new champion. Believe that.
Bo Dallas comes out and says he thinks we can all Bolieve that, despite Daniel Bryan’s recent shortcomings, that he’s still a pretty special little fella. That’s why when he enters Battleground’s Battle Royal, he’s going to win for “Little Daniel”. After all, our injured superstars are proof that no matter how much you lose, you’re still winning as long as you Bolieve!
MATCH 2: Bo Dallas vs. Diego (w/El Torito)
Diego hits a dropkick after they trade oles. Dallas gets up, rams Diego into the corner and stomps him down. He hits a short-arm clothesline and a kneedrop, then corner-whips him. Diego blocks a charge and hits a headbutt from the middle rope. He hits a spinning headbutt off the ropes, then a chop. Diego gets backdropped in the corner, lands on his feet and rams Dalls face-first into the top buckle. He goes for a headscissors, but Dallas throws him face-first into the canvase. Diego goes shoulder-first into the ring post, and Dallas hits the Running Bo-Dog for 3.
WINNER: Bo Dallas.
Dallas calls Torito “little fella” and says he’s a Bovine. But if one day, he wants to grow taller, all he has to do is Bolieve! As Dallas leaves, Torito gores him in the ass. Dallas then scolds Torito, so Torito mocks him. Dallas then drops him with a bodyslam.
Chris Jericho comes out and says that, for the first time in a year, Y2J is back on Smackdown. It feels good to be in front of his millions of Jerichoholics, and to come back on Monday night as a complete surprise was one of the greatest moments of his career, and that felt good. And then…along came a spider. A big, dark, venomous spider and his family. Since he’s been gone, he knows the Wyatt Family have become one of the most dominant forces in WWE history. When they surrounded him, he knew it wouldn’t be good, and they completely beat him down, and it did not feel good. So, to the Wyatt Family, he says…thank you. He thanks them for reminding him that WWE isn’t all about glitz and glamour; it’s also about survival. This ring is a dangerous place, but he can be a little bit dangerous. The Wyatts have never worked with someone like him. He doesn’t look, think or act like anyone else. That makes him the best in the world at what he does. So the Wyatts can come to the ring, light a torch, rock in a chair, sing a song or whatever. But, if they want to get crazy, he can get a little crazy. If they want to get nuts, he can get nuts. If he gets crazy with them, they’ll never be the same again. That’s a promise.
The screen goes black and the Wyatts appear on the screen. Bray Wyatt says the world does not have a voice of its own. It can’t tell you what it wants or what it needs. But it’s yearning for something to point it in the right direction. A savior, perhaps. Wyatt then formally introduces himself. He has a thousand faces and a million names. He is the color red in a world of black and white, and if Jericho values his ability, breathe. Don’t get too close. Save us, Chris. Save yourself.
Back to the ring, Jericho says he wants to get close with Wyatt. So, instead of hanging out in the back, why doesn’t he come out here…
What looks like a movie trailer appears on the screen. Instead, it turns out it’s just the Miz’s new entrance video. The worst face in WWE history comes out and asks Jericho how it feels to be interrupted. Last Monday night, Jericho deprived the world of something special, a moment that would be remembered forever: the return of the Miz. It’s a shame what happened to Jericho afterwards, but he could have helped Jericho. It could have been two former champions fighting the Wyatts, but Jericho broke the golden rule: he tried to hurt Miz’s face. Jericho got lucky. Nothing happened to his face. Miz continues to talk about his supposedly beautiful face as he gets in the ring, and Jericho immediately lays him out with a Codebreaker.
MATCH 3: Big E vs. Cesaro (w/Paul Heyman)
A cut-away promo from E involves him standing up for his friend Kofi Kingston. He’s still doing this bizarre MLK thing, too. Paul Heyman comes out and introduces Cesaro as the next IC Champion. Cesaro hits the ring and immediately nails E with a running knee before throwing him to the outside. Cesaro whips E into the barricade, then rams him. E reverses a corner whip, then lands a clothesline before throwing Cesaro into the timekeeper’s area. Cesaro grabs a chair and nails E twice with it before dumping him back to ringside. He grabs the timekeeper’s leather chair and throws it at E before tossing him over the announce desk. This match has not officially started, BTW. Cesaro throws E into the barricade, then tries to ram him face-first into the ring post. E puts on the breaks and manages to drop Cesaro with an overhead belly-to-belly. Several referees hit ringside and hold E back as Heyman holds Cesaro back. E gets in the ring and challenges Cesaro to come back, but Heyman won’t let that happen.
WINNER: No contest.
MATCH 4: Eva Marie vs. WWE Divas Champion AJ Lee (non-title)
Paige is watching the match from ringside. I’m very happy to see AJ back, BTW. Marie slaps AJ, then shoves her down. She pie-faces AJ, then immediately goes to the ropes before hitting a boot to the gut. AJ gets tossed to the floor. She eyeballs Paige, then crawls back into the ring. Marie throws her into the buckles, then hits the weakest clothesline ever for 2. AJ hits a pair of boots out of the corner and jumps on Marie’s back. Marie coutners into a sidewalk slam, and AJ then counters that into the Black Widow for the submission win.
WINNER: AJ Lee.
Paige enters the ring and applauds AJ before giving her a handshake. She continues applauding as she leaves the ring. I smell a heel turn.
Damien Sandow is in the ring, dressed like Bruce Springsteen. He then starts to cut a promo in the Boss’ voice, but Rusev’s music interrupts that. He and Lana make their way down to the ring, and Rusev climbs in. Sandow tries to attack him, but Rusev quickly drops him with a jumping side kick before tossing him to the floor. So…is Sandow a face now? Lana then cuts one of her typical promos. Before she can finish, Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter interrupt her. Colter says there’s two types of people he hates: illegal immigrants, and ungrateful illegal immigrants. Lana talks about the US, so Zeb has a history lesson for her regarding the US and Russia. Who invented the internet? Who invented the car? Who was the first to land on the moon? None of them were Russia. The only thing Russia invented has been vodka. Lana tells him to shut up, so Swagger steps in the ring and stares her down. Zeb tells Lana to shut up. Did she forget their chat about the 1st Amendment? He’s not here to chat tonight; he and Swagger are here to get something straight, and they want to do it tonight. Swagger takes off his jacket, and Zeb asks the crowd to join them in their catchphrase. Lana holds Rusev back. Instead of a fight, Lana and Rusev leave the ring, while Swagger stares them down the entire time.
Seth Rollins is on commentary for the main event.
Ambrose immediately goes on the attack with rights before throwing Orton to the corner. Orton comes back with a boot and tries to throw Ambrose to the corner. Ambrose blocks, reverses, then hits some mounted punches and a short-arm clothesline. Orton yanks his bad arm, then drops to the floor. Back in the ring, Ambrose nails a kneelift and a headbutt before tying Orton in the ropes for a chop. Orton avoids a suplex when Ambrose’s shoulder gives out, and Orton nails a dropkick to the bad shoulder for 2. He goes for an armbar, but Ambrose rolls through, trips Orton and stomps him in the gut. Ambrose applies a modified Regal Stretch, then stomps Orton’s fingers. Orton grabs him by the pants and sends him face-first into the middle buckle. On the apron, Orton hotshots the bad arm before getting back in the ring to apply a fujiwara. Ambrose breaks the hold with forearms to the face, ducks a clothesline and hits a cross-body into some punches. Orton kicks the bad shoulder, sends Ambrose into the ropes, then boots him to the floor. Commercials.
Back from the break, Orton pins Ambrose for 2. Orton continues to target Ambrose’s shouldber, but then gets booted in the corner. Ambrose heads up top and misses a seated dropkick. Orton covers him for 2, then applies a hammerlock before sending Ambrose shoulder-first into the ring post. Ambrose falls to the apron, and Orton heads outside to pound Ambrose in the shoulder. Ambrose falls to the floor, and Orton wraps his arm around the ring post before hitting a back suplex across the barricade. Back in the ring, Orton gets 2, then applies a top wristlock. Ambrose fights out, but Orton goes right back to the arm. He tries to send Ambrose into the post again, but Ambrose reverses it. They trade punches until Ambrose dominates. He nails a headbutt, a forearm, a cross-chop, a running shoulder in the corner and a forearm to the face. He hits a back elbow on the opposite side, then nails a spinning back elbow from the middle rope. Orton falls to the ropes, and Ambrose clotheslines him to the floor. Ambrose floors Orton with a suicide dive, and now both are down. Ambrose whips Orton into the barricade, then rolls him back in the ring. Ambrose then circles the ring, dives over the announce desk and tackles Rollins. After some punches, he throws Rollins back-first into the barricade. From the apron, Ambrose hits a hotshot, then gets back in the ring for a 2-count. Orton nails a boot and sends Ambrose into the ropes, but Ambrose rebounds and hits a clothesline. JBL has said “fun to watch 3 times” in less than 5 minutes. Ambrose goes for Dirty Deeds, but Orton shoves him off and catches a powerslam. He tosses Ambrose to the apron for the suspended DDT, but Ambrose counters with a backdrop to the floor. He goes for a suicide dive again, but Rollins nails him mid-air in the shoulder with the MITB case, leading to the DQ.
WINNER VIA DISQUALIFICATION: Dean Ambrose.
After the match, Orton rolls Ambrose in the ring and drops him with an RKO. He rips off the bandage from Ambrose’s shoulder, then locks Ambrose in an armbar. Rollins goes up top, but he’s shoved to the mat by Roman Reigns. Reigns nails Orton with the Superman Punch and signals for the spear. Before that can happen, Rollins pulls Orton to the floor.
End of show.
Dustin Nichols is a freelance writer, and you can keep track of all of his work on his Facebook page, which can be found at www.facebook.com/DustinNicholsWriter. Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out his mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:
[amazon_link id=”B00JHH1YAW” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]WWE The Paul Heyman Story[/amazon_link]
[amazon_link id=”B00HRYH7G2″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ] Ultimate Warrior: The Ultimate Collection DVD[/amazon_link]