This week’s WWE Friday Night SmackDown opens with Teddy Long in the ring. As most of us know, Mr. McMahon has hired a new GM for RAW, and that’s Brad Maddox. Long doesn’t know much about his qualifications, but he has to be better than Vickie Guerrero. McMahon knows what he’s doing, and he will be here later tonight. Rumor has it Long will be getting a job evaluation. He asks the crowd if he’s been doing a good job, and they cheer. They also cheer when he asks if he should be permanent GM.
Before Long can go any further, the actual GM of the show, Booker T makes his long-awaited return. Book thanks Long for filling in during his absence, and he did a hell of a job. But Book is back, and if everyone’s ready to watch him do his GM duties, let him hear it. The crowd cheers, and that’s when Mr. McMahon comes out. McMahon is out here to tell them that only one person can be the GM of SmackDown. It’s important for him to make that decision tonight. If it’s Long, what would he do to impress McMahon? Long makes a match between Curtis Axel and Chris Jericho for the IC title. McMahon then asks the same question of Book, and Book pits World Champion Alberto Del Rio against the winner of the All-Star ladder match, Randy Orton.
[adinserter block=”1″]Before McMahon can go any further, Brad Maddox comes out. He says that, before McMahon makes a decision, he’d like a work. He’s already made Maddox the GM of RAW; he should also be the GM of Smackdown. He was already going to suggest both matches mentioned. He then mentions tonight is the SD return of Rob Van Dam. McMahon thinks about his decision for a moment as a drumroll plays, and he then announces the GM as…Vickie Guerrero.
Vickie now comes out and hugs McMahon in the ring as a huge “No!” chant breaks out. She thanks Mr. McMahon, then says these people are the reason she was fired from a job on RAW. With that, she hates each and every one of them. She’s back with power. There is nothing anyone can do in this ring, and there is nothing anyone out there can do about it. She is Vickie Guerrero, and she is the permanent GM of Smackdown.
MATCH 1: Jack Swagger (w/Antonio Cesaro and Zeb Colter) vs. Dolph Ziggler
Ziggler rolls up Swagger for 1, and Swagger immediately rolls to the floor. Back in, Swagger clubs Ziggler down as AJ Lee and Big E. Langston watch on a monitor in the back. In the ring, Ziggler kicks Swagger in the knee and goes for a rocker dropper, but Swagger moves and once again bails to the floor. Back in, Ziggler avoids a corner attack and goes for some mounted punches, but Swagger counters with an elevated belly-to-belly and a running boot. Ziggler pops up with a dropkick off the ropes, and Swagger once again goes outside. Ziggler throws him back in, and as he’s getting back in, Swagger distracts the ref. This allows Cesaro to hit a Very European Uppercut from the apron. The ref’s pretty sure something’s gone on when he sees Ziggler laid out, and he ejects both Cesaro and Colter. Swagger rolls Ziggler back in the ring, and Ziggler rolls Swagger up for 2. Sunset flip gets another 2, and Swagger counters into the Patriot Lock. Ziggler escapes, sending Swagger into the buckles in the process. He hits the Zig-Zag and gets 3.
WINNER: Dolph Ziggler. Ziggler says he dumped his girlfriend AJ on Monday night. He then says he’s sorry…he’s sorry he didn’t do it a hell of a lot sooner. Cut back to AJ and Langston. AJ starts pulling at her hair, throwing chairs around and screaming. Langston tries to pick her up, and she starts slamming her fists into him before she gives up and starts crying. Langston then kisses her on the forehead before leaving. AJ looks confused.
MATCH 2: WWE Tag Team Champions Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins vs. The Usos (Jey and Jimmy) (non-title)
The Usos attack 2/3 of the Shield before the bell even rings. The two teams brawl until Dean Ambrose runs down and helps the Shield dominate. The Usos get thrown to the floor as Mark Henry runs down. He knocks all three down and fights them off until the numbers are too much. The Usos join the fight once more, and they help Henry clear the ring.
WINNER: No contest, as the match never even started.
MATCH 3: Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan
Lock-up, and Barrett backs Bryan into the corner. Bryan fights out, ducks a clothesline and goes for a cross-body. Barrett catches him, sets him across the tope rope and clubs him in the back before hitting a running kick to the ribs for 2. Barrett hits a kneelift and a slingshot backbreaker for another 2. Barrett applies a modified surfboard and turns it into a rear chinlock. Bryan fights out and fires off the Yes! Kicks in the corner before getting a mule kick to the face. He backflips off a corner whip and counters the Winds of Change into a crucifix, which he then turns into the Yes! Lock. Barrett taps.
WINNER: Daniel Bryan. This match was too short for these guys, but at least the finishing spot was cool.
We see Vickie Guerrero talking to some random guy in the back when Brad Maddox shows up. He congratulates her before reminding us they’re the two GMs of the company now. Vickie offers a handshake, then slaps him in the face.
MizTV is up next. I’m beside myself with glee.
After the commercials, MizTV is underway. Tonight’s guest is Paul Heyman. Miz gives a condescending introduction to Heyman, who was responsible for Brock Lesnar attacking CM Punk on Monday Night RAW. Heyman sits down for the interview. Miz says he’ll know Heyman will just lie about everything, so he has nothing to ask. He hands the mic to Heyman and tells him to just say whatever he wants. Heyman assures us he is merely an advocate. However, his client, Brock Lesnar, is a monster with his sights set on CM Punk. Lesnar has no conscience, but Heyman must confess to everyone that this is painful for him. He still has love in his heart for his former best friend, so he offers this public plea to Punk: stay down. Go home. Leave the WWE Universe behind. Lick your wounds and don’t ever think of getting back up again. If you ever show your face here again, Brock Lesnar will take it personally and you will have to deal with the consequences. Miz spits his stupid catchphrase 812 times, then says Heyman is enjoying all of this. He understands why Heyman lies. When he tells the truth, it’s even uglier than the liar we’ve come to know and hate. Miz is revolted by Heyman, and that he swore on his children and still lied. Miz drops the mic and leaves. Heyman stops him on the ramp and says he’d like to introduce everyone to the man who beat Miz at MITB, the reigning Intercontinental Champion, Curtis Axel. We hear the best entrance theme in the company right now, and Axel makes his way onto the stage. He stares Miz down as they cross paths. Axel/Jericho is up next.
MATCH 4-Intercontinental Championship: Curtis Axel (Champion, w/Paul Heyman) vs. Chris Jericho
Axel applies a side headlock out of a lock-up before shouldering Jericho off the ropes. He ducks a clothesline, leapfrogs Jericho, then gets hit with a dropkick. Jericho clotheslines Axel to the floor, then dropkicks him through the ropes. He rolls Axel back in and climbs up to the top, hitting a flying forearm for 2. Haven’t really seen that before. Axel comes back with a kneelift, and knocks Jericho down with a punch. Hard corner whip by Axel gets 1. Axel drops an elbow to the top of the head and applies an armbar/chinlock combo. Jericho chops his way out and hits a forearm off the ropes. He ducks a pair of clotheslines and hits a northern lights suplex for 2 before kicking Axel in the chest. Axel reverses a corner whip, Jericho dodges the impact, and Axel hits him with a Northern Lariat for 2. Jericho dodges a corner charge and hits a top rope cross-body for 2. He goes for the Codebreaker, and Axel snaps him back to the mat. Axel goes for the pin, getting 2. Commercials.
Back from the break, Axel has Jericho in a rear chinlock. Jericho fights out once more and sends Axel into the corner. He charges in, but winds up going shoulder-first into the ring post. Axel hits a bodyslam and mounts the middle rope, missing the Hart Elbow. Jericho hits a pair of shoulders of fthe ropes, ducks a clothesline and lands a step-up enziguri for 2. Jericho chops Axel in the corner and goes for the running facebuster, but Axel avoids it, boots Jericho in the stomach and hits the Broken Axel for 2. Jericho avoids a dropkick and hits the Lionsault for 2. Jericho knees Axel in the face several times then goes for a bodyslam. Axel escapes and sends Jericho to the outside. Jericho lands on the apron and comes off the top with a double axe handle. Axel sees it coming, blocks it and goes for the Perfect-Plex. Jericho escapes and goes for the Walls. Heyman jumps on the apron to cause a distraction, and Jericho breaks the hold. Axel rolls him up for 2, and Jericho goes right back to the Walls, eventually locking it in all the way. Axel tries to crawl to the ropes, so Jericho sits down further. Axel pushes himself back up and manages to get to the ropes. He immediately crawls outside, where Jericho floors him with a slingshot cross-body. He slams Axel face-first into the announce desk before rolling him back in the ring. Heyman distracts Jericho once more, and it’s enough to allow Axel to boot Jericho in the head and hit a Stone Cutter for 3.
WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: Curtis Axel. Ryback’s music hits after the match, and he marches down to the ring. He pushes Jericho’s head with his foot a few times, then smacks him a bit before picking him up. Jericho gets a second wind and hits some forearms before Ryback runs through him with a Meat Hook. Ryback hits the Shell Shocked, then smiles at the crowd before acting like he’s going to leave. Instead, he turns around and punts Jericho in the ribs.
“Mr. Money in the Bank” Damien Sandow is in the ring. He quotes Mahatma Ghandi in regards to forgiveness. He’d like to clarify something about this past Sunday, where he knocked Cody Rhodes off a ladder just before he grabbed the case, saying it was every man for himself. Everyone knew it, and despite what everyone has been saying, he did not screw Rhodes. Which now begs the question, why did Rhodes do what he did on RAW? We see footage of Christian beating Sandow on Monday night, followed by Rhodes assaulting Sandow after the match. Back to Sandow in the arena, he says he’s not going to react to this the same we you slack-jawed, mouth-breathers would. He’s not going to condemn Rhodes or retaliate, because that’s what separates him from the unwashed masses. Silence! He and Rhodes are both civilized gentlemen, and more important than that, they are still best friends. He’d now like to give Rhodes the opportunity to come out and explain himself so they can get past this.
Rhodes makes his way out, and Sandow says no explanation is necessary. He just wants to tell Rhodes man-to-man that he forgives him. He forgives Rhodes for everything. He may have prevented Rhodes from winning, but he’d like to offer an olive branch. He’d like to give Rhodes the job of “protector of the case”. Until Sandow cashes in, Rhodes will be responsible for its protection and safety. Rhodes has earned this. He hands the case to Rhodes and Rhodes thanks him before hitting him with the case. Rhodes stomps Sandow down before throwing the case up the ramp.
MATCH 5: Darren Young (w/Titus O’Neil) vs. Rob Van Dam
Hopefully, RVD won’t go through the motions like he did in TNA. Young applies a side headlock, then shoulders RVD off the ropes. RVD comes back with a leg scissors into a pin. He hits a step-over spinning heel kick and a standing moonsault for 2 as Young slides to the floor. RVD levels him with a slingshot cross-body, then rolls back into the ring to pose for the crowd. Young is back in and gets kicked right back down. He goes for Rolling Thunder, but Titus causes a distraction, allowing Young to clothesline RVD from behind. Young hotshots RVD across the top rope for 2, then applies a rear chinlock. RVD blocks a shot in the corner and hits a high kick to the face before hitting a springboard cross-body and a roundhouse. Young comes back with a clothesline for 2. RVD comes back with Rolling Thunder, and Young rolls to the apron. He shouldesr RVD and goes for a sunset flip, but RVD blocks it and hits a springboard side kick. He kicks Titus off the apron and then comes off the top with the Five-Star Frog Splash for 3.
WINNER: Rob Van Dam.
Vickie Guerrero is on the phone, saying she wants her office redecorated. Teddy Long walks in. She says they’ve mistreated each other, and they need to let bygones be bygones. There’s plenty of room for them to work together. Long asks if she really means that. She stares him down before telling him hell no. She calls for security, then says she wants Long out of her office, out of her building, and out of her life. If Long ever wants back on Smackdown, he better buy a ticket.
We find out The Big Show will return to action next week.
MATCH 6: Randy Orton vs. World Champion Alberto Del Rio (non-title)
[adinserter block=”2″]At this point, I’m just going to assume Ricardo Rodriguez got fired or quit. Orton begins headbutting ADR and clotheslines him in the corner before hitting some mounted punches. Orton pulls ADR out of the corner for a dropkick, then mounts him on the top rope on the opposite side. ADR counters into a jujigatame across the top rope, and after he breaks it, he rams Orton shoulder-first into the opposite ring post. ADR kicks him in the shoulder and stomps him down before hitting an armbar takedown for 1. He rakes Orton’s eyes in the ropes, then applies an armbar. Orton punches out, gets sent into the corner, and counters a charge with an Oklahoma roll for 2. ADR comes back with a kick to the shoulder, then headbutts Orton. Orton rolls to the barricade on the outside, and ADR follows. Orton kicks ADR and back suplexes him across the top of the barricade. ADR reverses a whip into the steps, sending Orton shoulder-first into them. He rolls Orton back in, then climbs to the top rope. Orton meets him mid-dive with a dropkick. Orton sets up the Four Moves of Boredom and hits the clotheslines, but ADR avoids the powerslam, causing Orton to spin like a jackass mid-ring. ADR applies the jujigatame, but Orton gets to the ropes. ADR stomps him down, but Orton ducks a clothesline and hits the 3.0 for 2. ADR rolls to the apron, where Orton goes for the suspended DDT. ADR escapes and backdrops Orton to the apron. Orton lands on his feet, where ADR hits the step-up enziguri, knocking him to the floor. Outside, ADR starts to tear apart the announce desk before rolling Orton back in the ring for 2. He hits a running kick to the shoulder. ADR mocks Orton by coiling up for the RKO. He tries to hit it, but Orton shoves him off and hits a powerslam for 2. ADR comes back with the double-knee armbreaker and then charges in, but Orton sidesteps him, throws him to the apron, then pulls him right back in for the suspended DDT. Orton calls for the RKO, but ADR counters into a Backstabber for 2. He signals for the rolling jujigatame, boots Orton and applies the hold. Orton rolls through, however, avoids a running kick and hits the RKO for 3.
WINNER: Randy Orton.
End of show.
Dustin Nichols is a freelance writer, and you can keep track of all of his work on his Facebook page, which can be found at www.facebook.com/DustinNicholsWriter. Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out his mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:
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