This week, WWE Friday Night SmackDown! stars will attempt to impress GM Booker T in order to gain entry into the Elimination Chamber. There are three spots left.
The show opens with The Big Show’s private bus pulling into the parking lot. He gets off and immediately heads into the building. After the opening theme song, Show is headed into the arena. Show has one more match with Alberto Del Rio for the World Championship at Elimination Chamber. Show tells the crowd that things around here are completely unacceptable. He’s tired of the way he’s being treated, and all of the double standards around here. He gets that no one likes him. Is it a crime to be unpopular? Because he’s not popular, it’s okay for him to be forced to put his title on the line a month ago in a Last Man Standing Match? He supposes that it’s okay that a Latin maniac like ADR can ambush him in his hotel room, too. You cheer the champion for acting like a criminal. He guesses that’s why people like ADR want to be on your good side, because when you’re popular, you can do what you want. Show doesn’t get the fans. He tries, and just doesn’t get it. When he fights like a man and decimates ADR and Ricardo Rodriguez, people call him a bully and a bad person. He tries to conduct himself like a businessman and refrains from confrontation with ADR, and people call him a coward. ADR can attack him, and people cheer the champ? Well, he’s got some news: before ADR attacked him, he signed a championship contract. That means at EC, the World title is coming back where it belongs. The double standards around here? Big deal. ADR gets suspended for the week. Woo-hoo. He gets a night off. One person is responsible for everything around here, and that’s Booker T. Book is jealous. He’s jealous of Show’s accomplishments, ability, wealth, but most of all, he’s jealous because Show is still an in-ring, dominant, competitive force, and Book is a sad man behind a desk, pushing a pencil.
MATCH 1: Kofi Kingston vs. Cody Rhodes
We get a cut-away with Rhodes. He says he and his friend Damien Sandow have mutually decided to part ways. But, when one door closes, one opens, and behind that door is a vision everyone wants to see-Rhodes at the top of WWE. Kofi thinks he can stand in Rhodes’ way. Think again. Match starts with a Kofi waistlock. Rhodes fights out, and Kofi comes back with a monkey flip. He sends Rhodes to the floor, then hits a baseball slide. Back in, Kofi goes for a corner splash, but Rhodes moves out of the way. Rhodes covers Kofi, getting 2. He drops an elbow to the neck from the middle rope, then throws him to the corner. Kofi fights his way out, then hits a chop. Another chop, followed by a jumping clothesline. Boom Drop connects, and he calls for TIP, but Rhodes falls back into the buckle. Kofi charges in, so Rhodes moves out of the way. Kofi lands feet-first on the middle buckle, hops to the top and hits the cross-body for 2. Kofi goes for the SOS, but Rhodes shoves him off, ducks a TIP, and goes for the Cross Rhodes. Kofi slides out and goes for TIP once more, but hangs onto the ropes. Rhodes throws him outside, and as Kofi gets back on the apron, Rhodes hits the Beautiful Disaster. Back in, Cross Rhodes connects for 3.
WINNER: Cody Rhodes.
We see Kane in his locker room when Daniel Bryan walks in. He apologizes for what happened on RAW. Kane accepts and orders him to leave. Bryan says he didn’t intend to cost him his match against Sheamus, and he’s sure Kane didn’t mean to cost him against Damien Sandow. He forgives Kane, and he thinks he should come out with Kane to support him in against his match against Show. He once beat Show in 45 seconds, and it wouldn’t hurt Kane to be seen with someone who is already in the Chamber. Kane threatens to annihilate him before telling him to shut up. Not another word. Not “yes”. Not “no”. Nothing! The next word out of Bryan’s mouth will be “congratulations” after he chokeslams Big Show into oblivion later tonight.
We get a cool video for Bruno Sammartino’s induction into this year’s HOF class. While I am glad Bruno is finally in, I am tired of everyone saying things like, “It’s about time Vince inducted him!” Sorry, but that’s not the case. The reality is that Vince has been trying to get him to accept for several years now, and Bruno has refused to budge. He was the one who finally had to change his mind, not Vince. While Vince is wrong a lot, no question, the fact is he swallowed his pride on this one years ago, and was waiting for Bruno to do the same. Having said all of that, Bruno is the single most deserving guy to go into the Hall that hadn’t already been inducted, if for no other reason than his championship track record.
MATCH 2: The Great Khali (w/Hornswoggle and Natalya) vs. Titus O’Neil
Josh Mathews just called Khali a future Hall of Famer. I just died a little bit. Khali hits Titus with a forearm to the head. Open-hand chop to the chest in the corner. And another. Titus comes back with strikes, then hits a running boot to the head for 1. Front chancery is applied, then hits a couple more strikes before Khali connects with the brain chop for 3.
WINNER: The Great Khali. Mark Henry’s music hits, and the “World’s Strongest Man” is back in WWE. He throws Titus to the floor, then throws him into the barricade before telling him, “Sit down! Grown folks gotta talk!” He gets in the ring, where they trade punches. Henry hits an avalanche in the corner before getting caught by a brain chop. He calls for the Punjabi Plunge, but Henry breaks out, shoves him to the corner and hits another avalanche. World’s Strongest Slam connects. Actually glad to see him back, as his World title reign was enjoyable.
After the commercials, Henry is still in the ring, and he tells the crowd that the “Hall of Pain” is now open. He’s bent on destruction. Are there any questions? As you can see, Khali and Titus didn’t have any questions. Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara, last week on RAW, if they had any questions, Henry thinks he answered every last one of them. See for yourself. We see video from RAW, where Henry destroyed both of them. Henry says that’s what he does, and all of this tonight as well as all of that Monday night could have been avoided. This is all Booker T’s fault. Book assembled an elite group of champions to be in the Chamber, but he made one mistake: he didn’t call Henry. He left Henry out. How do you forget the strongest man that ever lived? That was a critical time to overlook him, because he’s not to be looked over. He needs an explanation, because he can’t wrap his brain around this. Booker T, you owe him an explanation. Walk out here and answer to him, because if you don’t, he’s coming back there, and he’s going to destroy the entire SD! roster. Get out here!
Book comes out, sans music. He tells Henry he can’t just attack people and impress the GM. This is Smackdown! Henry tells him there’s no room in the Chamber for him. If Book doesn’t make room, then he’ll make room for himself. You know what that means, right? It means that if Book doesn’t, Henry will injure enough people that he’ll be the only one in the Chamber. Book says Henry has been out nine months, dawg. He has to know if Henry can still go. So, if Henry can beat one of the guys that’s already in, he’ll grant Henry a spot. Tonight, Henry will face Randy Orton one-on-one.
Show is outside, yelling at his personal bus driver/butler. Show shakes his head and stomps back towards the arena. We see Alberto Del Rio emerge from the side of one of the buses as Show leaves the area.
MATCH 3: WWE Tag Team Co-Champion Kane vs. The Big Show
Kane starts with rights to the face. Show sends him to the corner for a hip bump. Kane comes back with a shot, sending Show to the floor. Outside, Show slams Kane into the steps. He throws Kane in, then wraps his leg around the post. Show gets back in the ring and begins working over Kane’s left leg, applying a modified ankle lock. Kane boots him off, but gets speared for his troubles. Commercials.
We’re back, and Show hits a Vader Bomb for 2. He goes up again, but misses the second one. They trade punches before they both go for the chokeslam. Show breaks it with a kick, but gets hit with a DDT off the ropes. Kane goes up top for the clothesline, which connects. Kane’s left knee is hurting. As he gets up, Show hits the WMD for 3.
WINNER: The Big Show. As Show is leaving, ADR pops up on the TitanTron, and he’s still around Show’s bus. He says that, when he attacked Show in the hotel, he wondered what he was going to do. Then it occurred he could make a new friend, meaning the butler. ADR decided to help the guy, as well as make some changes. Show storms up the ramp, and he’s obviously headed to the parking lot. Outside, we see that ADR has put the bus up on blocks. Show throws a fit, and we see a bucket of orange paint get dumped on him from on top of the bus. A tow truck pulls up, and ADR is in the back. He tells Show that if he needs new tires, he knows a guy before speeding off.
MATCH 4: Jack Swagger vs. Justin Gabriel
Cut-away promo for Swagger. He says that a real American doesn’t take handouts, or wait for something to happen. A real American takes what he wants, and tonight, he shows Booker T why the Chamber needs a real American, why it needs Jack Swagger. Swagger immediately backs Gabriel into the corner, then hits a walking belly-to-belly suplex. Gabriel ducks a clothesline and rolls Swagger up for 2. Swagger pops up and drops him with a clothesline. Swagger hits some forearms to the chest, then throws him across the ring. Swagger Bomb connects, but Gabriel counters a corner charge with a pair of boots. Springboard cross-body connects, and Swagger rolls to the floor. He tries to trip Gabriel up from the apron, but Gabriel jumps and boots him away. He goes for an Asai Moonsault, but Swagger yanks him to the floor. Back in, Swagger hits a running chop block. Falling Doctor Bomb connects, and he applies the ankle lock, which is now known as the Patriot Act. Gabriel taps.
WINNER: Jack Swagger.
We get a “From the Vault” moment featuring the Bushwhackers vs. the Bolsheviks. Not sure why we’re seeing this right now. Not only that, but rather than just a clip, we seem to be getting nearly the whole match.
We’re already up to three “Please don’t try this” videos, which makes me wonder if reports of kids doing this are appearing more regularly lately.
We get a video for Fandango, aka Johnny Curtis. I can’t believe they still haven’t given up on this guy. Not only that, but he’s got an uber-douchey new look, styling his hair after Tobey Maguire in Spider-Man 3.
MATCH 5: Drew McIntyre (w/Jinder Mahal and Heath Slater) vs. Tensai
Drew hits some forearms to the back, and follows up with a mafia kick for 1. He slaps Tensai, so Tensai beats him down before hitting an avalanche in the corner and continuing the beatdown. He hits the Derailer and goes for the pin, but the other two members of 3MB assault him.
WINNER VIA DISQUALIFICATION: Tensai. 3MB triple-team Tensai until Brodus Clay runs down. The two destroy 3MB, then stare each other down. Clay’s music hits, and he begins to dance. He and the Funkadactyls ask Tensai to join them, and he eventually obliges. Looks like we have a new tag team. Fine with me, as both guys have been pretty aimless for a while.
MATCH 6: Sin Cara vs. WWE United States Champion Antonio Cesaro (non-title)
Cesaro has some of the best ring jackets I’ve ever seen. The Swedish rap entrance theme isn’t too bad, either. Cesaro starts with a back heel trip, but Cara comes back with a bodyscissors into an armdrag. He stomps Cesaro’s hand and goes for the twisting springboard armdrag, but Cesaro drops him to the apron before hotshotting him, sending Cara to the apron. Back in, Cesaro hits the deadlift gutwrench suplex and the double stomp. Kneelift connects, as does a kick to the spine. Cara blocks a corner charge and hits an amazing-looking version of the sunset flip for 2. No, really. It was damn beautiful. Cara sends Cesaro to the floor with a hurricanrana, and follows up with a suicide dive. Back in, Cara hits a kick from the apron, but when he comes off the top, he’s hit with a Very European Uppercut. Neutralizer connects for 3.
WINNER: Antonio Cesaro.
Matt Striker is in the locker room with Randy Orton. He asks about Mark Henry’s return and their match later. Orton points out Henry’s injury, then he comes back and puts out a bunch of guys, thinking he can just get what he wants. It’s a good plan, but tonight, he’s hitting a roadblock, that being Orton. He knows Henry is the world’s strongest man, but he’ll have to be the world’s luckiest man if he thinks he can go through Orton tonight. If he’s not careful, Orton will put him right back on the shelf.
MATCH 7: Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry
Lock-up to start, with Henry backing Orton into a corner. Orton fights out with punches, then hits a corner clothesline. Henry knocks Orton down, then kicks him before throwing him to the floor. Outside, Henry clubs Orton across the back. He goes to lawn dart Orton into the post, but Orton slides out and shoves Henry into it. Henry no-sells it and gets back in the ring. Orton fights him in the corner, then mounts the middle buckle to hit some forearms to the chest from behind. Henry turns around and knocks Orton to the floor with one right hand. Back outside, Henry rolls Orton back in the ring for 2. Orton rolls to the ropes, and Henry stands on his chest. Henry applies a trapezius claw, but Orton fights out. Henry headbutts him before missing an avalanche in the corner. Orton takes Henry down with a clothesline and another. Henry rolls to the apron, where Orton connects with the suspended DDT. He coils up for the RKO, but Henry shoves him off and hits an avalanche. World’s Strongest Slam connects for 3.
WINNER: Mark Henry. Henry now has a spot in the Elimination Chamber.
End of show.
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