This week’s WWE SmackDown episode opens with the Usos, Los Matadores, the Ascension, Slater-Gator and the Miz & Damien Mizdow in a locker room with Kane. He’s talking about some kind of match being about the luck of the draw (my feed likely missed the first part; I’m guessing we’re looking at some kind of tag team turmoil match for tonight). He says the matches are chosen at random, but it’s certain that the turmoil match (yep) will start with Roman Reigns and Daniel Bryan teaming together. The Big Show steps in and tells these guys this is their chance to prove who is the dominant team in WWE, to grab the bull by the horns. El Torito flips out at this comment, so the Matadores grab him by the horns. Kane says anyone can win tonight. Miz/Mizdow could be back in the title hunt. The Ascension are young bucks looking to make a name for themselves. Slater-Gator have reinvented themselves. The Usos…well, all they have to do is prove they are the champs. All of these men have the opportunity to make an impact, so let’s get out there! The teams shove each other a bit before leaving the area.
I guess there’s no love for the Masters of the WWE Universe or Gold & Stardust in the division this week.
MATCH 1: BRAY WYATT VS. R-TRUTH
Wyatt shoves Truth to the corner right away and goes for a punch. Truth blocks, hits a few of his own, hits a kick off the ropes and an uppercut before Wyatt puts him down with an uppercut of his own. Wyatt chokes Truth over the middle rope, then nails a straight right and a knee to the back. Wyatt chops Truth against the ropes, then hits another uppercut. Truth puts on the brakes off an Irish whip, does some dancing and suckers Wyatt into a low bridge. Wyatt is back up on the apron, and Truth puts him down with a hotshot. Truth heads out to the apron, and the two trade blows before Wyatt snaps Truth down onto the apron with an arm wringer. Wyatt drags Truth to the ring post, places his head against it and blasts him with a right to the side of the head. Back in the ring, Wyatt hits a sit-down splash out of the corner, then drags Truth to the middle for a trapezius claw. He turns it into a rear chinlock as Truth tries to fight out. Wyatt hits a kneelift and sends Truth into the ropes. Truth goes for a sunset flip and gets blocked. Wyatt tries for another sit-down splash and misses. Back up. Truth hits a jumping side kick. He follows up with an elbow in the corner, ducks a clothesline and connects with the Lie Detector for 2. He goes for the axe kick, misses and hits a jawbreaker. It’s all for naught, however, as Wyatt turns around and drops Truth with a clothesline. Wyatt does the crab walk, spins over and lays Truth out with Sister Abigail for 3.
MATCH 2: SUMMER RAE VS. PAIGE
The Bella Twins are on commentary, so my feed goes on mute. The two lock up, and Paige hits a snapmare into a pin for 1. She then hits an armdrag for another 1. Rae comes back with a roll-up for 1, and Paige responds with a big side kick and a headbutt for 2. Rae misses a roundhouse, and Paige hits a mule kick. In the corner, Paige hits a series of back elbows, then screams at the Bellas before pulling Rae to the apron for some kneelifts over the middle rope. Back in the ring, Rae connects with a roundhouse for 2, then hits a few weak punches and attempts to apply an Indian deathlock. She shoves her free foot into Paige’s chin, turning the move into a pin for 2. Paige reverses into a roll-up for 2. Rae comes back with a roll-up into some mounted punches, then does god knows what before sending Paige into the ropes. Paige comes back with a boot and a trio of short-arm clotheslines. She hits a dropkick off the ropes, ducks a clothesline and hits a back kick to the face before locking in the PTO for the submission win.
After the match, Nikki does what she does best-holds the Divas title over her head while making stupid faces.
We get a promo for Sheamus, who is set to make his return soon. That is followed by a blurb about Rikishi, who is the newest inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame.
MATCH 3: FANDANGO (W/ROSA MENDES) VS. ADAM ROSE (W/THE EXOTIC EXPRESS)
Rose comes out and goes for the trust fall bit again, but then decides no and orders all of the Rosebuds to back off. The bell sounds, and Rose drops to the outside to lecture the Rosebuds. Fandango grabs him by the hair, but Rose breaks it with a hotshot. Back in the ring, he throws Fandango to the corner, then hits a short-arm clothesline. Rose hits a European uppercut, then stomps Fandango down in the corner. Rose hits a snap suplex for 2, then applies a bodyscissors. Fandango falls back into a pin for 2, so Rose breaks the hold and applies a sleeper. Fandango counters with a back suplex, then snaps off a few left jabs and a pair of clotheslines. Rose comes back with a boot off the ropes, but then runs into a powerslam. Fandango goes up top for the Last Dance, hits it and gets 3.
One of the Rosebuds checks on Rose after the match, so Rose shoves him down and hits another one with a forearm to the face before storming off to the back.
MATCH 4-TAG TEAM TURMOIL MATCH; PARTICIPANTS: DANIEL BRYAN & ROMAN REIGNS, THE MIZ & DAMIEN MIZDOW, WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS THE USOS (JEY & JIMMY), LOS MATADORES (DIEGO & FERNANDO, W/EL TORITO), SLATER-GATOR (TITUS O’NEIL & HEATH SLATER), THE ASCENSION (KONNOR & VIKTOR), AND THE BIG SHOW & KANE
Bryan/Reigns and Miz/Mizdow are the starting teams. Bryan and Miz lock up, with Bryan quickly turning it into a snapmare and hitting a kick to the back. He tags out to Reigns, who throws Miz to the corner for some rights. Reigns talks some trash to Bryan before throwing Miz down, then tags Bryan in. The fans want Mizdow, and surprisingly, he’s tagged in. He locks up with Bryan, and Bryan sends him into the ropes for a kitchen sink. Back up, Mizdow ducks a clothesline and hits the Reality Check. He goes for a corner charge, but Miz stops it and tags himself in. Miz misses a clothesline, and Bryan nails him with a corner dropkick. Bryan goes for it again, but Reigns tags himself instead. Reigns nails Miz with the Superman Punch and calls for the spear, but Bryan tags himself in. He nails Miz with the running knee and gets 3.
Miz/Mizdow are eliminated.
Team #3 is the Usos. Bryan puts a side headlock on Jey, then turns it into a schoolboy for 2. They lock up, and Jey applies an arm wringer, but Bryan counters into an armdrag, then turns that into an armbar before stomping the arm. Jey applies a waistlock, but Bryan counters with an armbar into a wringer. Jimmy makes a blind tag, and the Usos hit a pair of back elbows and a double elbow drop for 2. Reigns tries to talk Bryan into tagging him out as Michael Cole mentions, I think for the first time ever, that Reigns is a cousin of the Usos. Bryan begrudgingly makes a tag and now Reigns locks up with Jimmy. Jimmy applies a side headlock, but Reigns breaks free and hits a shoulder off the ropes. Jey tags in and applies a side headlock before suffering the same fate as his brother moments before. Reigns and Jey lock up once more, and Jey goes back to the headlock. Jimmy makes a blind tag as Jey hits a shoulder off the ropes. Reigns doesn’t go down until Jimmy comes flying off the middle rope with a shoulderblock. The Usos then clothesline Reigns to the floor and call for the dive, but Reigns sees it coming and circles to his corner, exchanging some words with Bryan in the process. Bryan offers a tag, and Reigns takes it. Bryan applies a waistlock on Jimmy, then takes him down before applying an Indian deathlock. He breaks his own hold to pelt Jimmy with rights and a jumping knee. Jimmy comes back with a chop, and now the two are trading blows until Bryan fires up the kicks in the corner. He drapes one of Jimmy’s legs over the middle rope and hits it with a running dropkick. Bryan nails a European uppercut, and Jimmy comes back with a few shots of his own. He shoves Bryan into the corner, where Jey makes the tag and follows up with a big splash for 2. Jey shoves Bryan to the corner for a shoulder thrust and tags in Jimmy, who comes off the top with an elbow to the shoulder. Jey tags in and does the same. Jimmy tags back in, but Bryan slides to the floor before the third one can connect. Now, Reigns is jaw-jacking with Bryan, reversing the roles from a few minutes ago. Commercials.
Back from the break, Bryan is still in control of Jey, holding him in a hammerlock. Jey elbows his way out, then runs into a dropkick. Bryan taunts Reigns with the “Yes!” chant, then covers Jey for 2. He looks for a tag from Reigns off an arm wringer, but Reigns isn’t having it. Bryan folds Jey’s arm in an awkward way, then hits a butterfly driver into an armbar. Jey quickly gets his feet on the ropes to break the hold, so Bryan picks him up for another European uppercut. He goes back to an armlock, but Jey counters with a Samoan drop. Jimmy makes the tag and hits Bryan with a pair of clotheslines, a superkick, a drop-down uppercut and a full-nelson bomb that sends Bryan to the corner. Bryan avoids the hip attack by backdropping Jimmy, but Jimmy makes the tag before landing on the apron, and Jey comes off the top with a cross-body for 2 as Reigns breaks it up. Jimmy gets in Reigns’ face and then hits an uppercut. Reigns throws him to the corner, misses a charge, blocks a kick, then gets hit with a reverse dragon whip, setting him up for the hip attack. Reigns rolls tot he floor to avoid the move, and Bryan comes up with a corner dropkick on Jimmy, sending him to the apron, in perfect place for Reigns’ apron dropkick. Jey takes Reigns out with a suicide dive, so Bryan does the same to Jey. Jimmy rolls back in for a dive of his own, but Reigns flies into the ring with a Superman Punch. Jey then puts Reigns down with a superkick before Bryan comes off the top. Jey sees him coming and meets him with a superkick. He goes for the Samoan Splash, but Bryan blocks it with his knees and rolls the move right into the Yes! Lock for the submission win.
The Usos are eliminated as Reigns has to pry Bryan off his cousin. Reigns screams at Bryan that Jey tapped and he needed to break the hold. Bryan talks some trash of his own. Commercials.
Another video for Sheamus.
Back from the break, Reigns and Bryan are still arguing as team #4 comes out, that being Los Matadores. Bryan gets hit with an armdrag by Diego, then comes back with an arm wringer. Diego ducks a clothesline and hits a spinning headscissors that sends him to the corner. Diego stomps him down in the corner, but Bryan comes back with a kitchen sink off the ropes. Bryan goes for a surfboard, then turns it into a dragon sleeper combo. Diego punches his way out, so Bryan hits him with a European uppercut. Diego avoids a kick and trips Bryan into the middle rope before hitting a sit-down splash across Bryan’s back. Up top, Bryan crotches Diego, then climbs up for a butterfly suplex, right out of William Regal’s playbook. Bryan applies the Yes! Lock, and Los Matadores are done.
Los Matadores are eliminated.
Team #5 is Slater-Gator. Slater got a haircut. Reigns tags himself in, to Bryan’s chagrin. Reigns immediately drops Slater with a right, then hits a misdirection flying clothesline. He knocks Titus off the apron, hits Slater with a corner splash and a fireman’s carry into a flapjack. Titus tries to come back in, so Reigns drops him with a Superman Punch. Slater eats a spear and Reigns gets 3 as he stares at Bryan.
Slater-Gator are eliminated. Commercials.
Back from the break, and team #6 is on their way out, that being the Ascension. Bryan is back in for his team, starting off with Viktor. The two lock up, and Viktor breaks it with a straight right. He throws Bryan to the corner for an assault, but Bryan fights his way out with kicks and elbows. He applies a side headlock, goes into a crisscross, and gets low-bridged by Konnor. The Ascension double-team Bryan on the outside until Reigns gets involved. He fights them off for a minute, but the Ascension quickly overwhelm him, then toss him over the announce desk. They turn their attention back to Bryan, beating him down against the barricade before throwing him into the ring post. Reigns then meets the same fate before Bryan is rolled back into the ring. The referee appears to have ended this match, but the Ascension don’t care and hit Bryan with the Fall of Man.
The Ascension are eliminated.
The Ascension continue their assault, rolling Reigns into the ring as another referee comes down to try to restore order. The rest of the refs come down, and they are finally able to hold the Ascension back as the Big Show’s music hits.
Looks like we have a team #7, and it’s Show/Kane. Commercials.
Back from (hopefully) the last break, a limping Reigns is starting with Kane. Kane immediately goes on the attack, stomping Reigns down for 1. Kane applies a side headlock, then hits a shoulder off the ropes for 2 before applying a rear chinlock that he turns into a hammerlock. Reigns elbows out, ducks a clothesline and hits a flying one of his own. Bryan tags in and fires up the Yes! Kicks, but misses the Buzzsaw and runs into a big boot. Show tags in, drops to the floor and drags Bryan to the apron for a chop to the chest. He pulls Bryan to the floor and throws him into the ring post, then gorilla presses him back into the ring. Show stands on Bryan’s hand, then hits a bodyslam. Show casually pushes Bryan with his foot, then kicks him in the ribs. Kane tags in as Show stands on Bryan’s face. Kane stomps Bryan down in the corner, then sends him into the adjacent corner for a splash before hitting a sidewalk slam for 2. Bryan gets thrown to the heel corner, where he tries to fight his way out. Kane goozles him, but Bryan starts kicking him in the legs. Kane shoves Bryan into the ropes, and into Show in the process. Show yells at Kane for not paying attention before Kane tags out. They pick Bryan up and hit him with a double back elbow. Show taunts Reigns on the apron as Reigns looks for a tag. Kane lectures Show about focusing on business, so Show picks Bryan up for the chokeslam. Bryan kicks his way out once more and hits a DDT. Bryan crawls for the tag as Show is slow to get up. He nearly makes it, but Show splashes him across the back to stop the tag and get a 2-count. Kane and Show continue to argue as Show picks Bryan up by the neck for a headbutt. Kane tells Show to finish Bryan, but Show says he’s having fun and taking care of his job. Show goes up for Vader Bomb, but Kane tags in. He tells Show not to take any risks and cause him this match. Kane goes to pick up Bryan, but Bryan pulls him down into the Yes! Lock. Show breaks it up after a moment, causing Reigns to come in. As the ref is distracted, Show pulls Kane to his corner to make the tag. Bryan crawls for the tag as Show and Kane continue to argue. Show puts Bryan down with a headbutt, then knocks Reigns off the apron with an elbow. Show calls for the chokeslam, but Bryan reverses into the Yes! Lock once more. Kane breaks it up with a boot this time and continues to berate Show. Show tells Kane to get out of his face, and that this isn’t all about him. Show turns his back on Kane, and Kane turns him back around, only to have Show blast him with the Knockout Punch. Reigns comes in and takes Show down with a spear as Bryan pulls himself up in the corner. He calls for the running knee, hits it and gets 3.
WINNERS: DANIEL BRYAN AND ROMAN REIGNS.
Bryan celebrates the win before both he and Reigns stare up at the big Wrestlemania sign. Reigns helps Bryan to his feet, and they nod at each other out of respect.
End of show.