This week emanates from Little Rock, AR. Seth Rollins makes his way down to the ring, and says this Sunday at Night of Champions, he will make history. He will make history when he defends both of his titles against John Cena and Sting, two future first-ballot of Hall of Famers, on the same night, and defeat them both. He only speaks the truth. For Cena, it will look a lot like Summerslam. He will not only beat Cena again, he will break Cena again, and for the last time, he will break Cena’s spirit. As for Sting, the freak who’s bitten off much more than he can chew, at NoC, Rollins will show everyone why Sting is the past and Rollins in the now. Rest assured, at NoC, he will make history. But tonight, he will make some more history when he teams with Sheamus to take on Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns. Some of you may be asking, why would any man team with the one guy who can cash in for a title match any time? Not any man would be okay with that, but THE man is very okay with it. He lives by the adage “Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer”, and besides that, he’s not worried about Sheamus.
Cue Sheamus. He says that’s an interesting concept. He just wondering, what Rollins considers Sheamus: a friend or an enemy? Trust him when he says this, you don’t want him as an enemy. But keep him as far or close as you want, because when he cashes in, Rollins won’t see it coming, friend. Rollins says he’ll see “all of this” coming if Sheamus ever tries to cash in. He doesn’t always agree with the WWE Universe, but they’ve got a point when they say Sheamus looks stupid. Sheamus takes offense to that and tells everyone to “Respect the ‘hawk”. If Rollins continues with the insults, Sheamus promises Rollins they won’t make the main event tonight. He wants them to be friends. That’s what everyone wants. He loves to fight, and tonight, they’ve got a great match against Rollins’ former comrades. There’s an added bonus for Sheamus. He can stand on the corner, and he can watch Rollins for strengths and weakness. When he’s ready, it won’t matter if Rollins sees him coming or not, because he’ll still walk away the new champion because of his case. So! He’ll see Rollins in the main event…friend.
Later tonight, Cesaro will face the Big Show.
MATCH 1: BECKY LYNCH AND PAIGE (W/CHARLOTTE) VS. SASHA BANKS AND NAOMI (W/TAMINA)
Lynch and Naomi start, with Lynch going right into some European uppercuts. She hits a snapmare and some mounted punches before snapping Naomi off the ropes. She hits a dropsh*t before Banks tags in and walks into a pair of armdrags. Lynch ducks a clothesline and goes for a roll-up. Banks grabs the ropes, so Lynch turns it into sunset flip for 2. She follows up with an Oklahoma roll for another 2. Lynch applies an arm wringer before Banks reverses a corner whip. She nails Lynch in the back, then knocks her on her back. Commercials.
WINNERS: SASHA BANKS AND NAOMI.
Far too many kicks and stomps in that match.
Stardust cuts a promo about facing Neville and the Lucha Dragons on the kickoff show at NoC. He’s joined by the Ascension, who will be his partners. The promo continues before we get the catchphrase.
MATCH 2: WWE TAG TEAM CO-CHAMPION KOFI KINGSTON (W/BIG E AND XAVIER WOODS) VS. D-VON DUDLEY (W/BUBBA RAY DUDLEY)
Before D-Von comes out, the New Day cut a promo about their love of tables again. Also, apparently the Dudleyz are being mean to Mother Nature in the process. They have a petition to “save the tables” that they want the Dudleyz to sign. Then they chant about karma. This is so damn stupid.
D-Von and Bubba Ray come out for the match to start. Kofi offers the petition to D-Von, and he breaks the clipboard. D-Von unloads on Kofi in the corner, then biels him across the ring. He hits a Thesz press into some punches, and now the other members of the New Day are pulling a table out. D-Von knocks E down with a vertical splash as D-Von hits a flapjack on Kofi in the ring. Woods jumps on the apron, and D-Von slingshots him into the ring. Woods rolls to the apron, and as D-Von grabs him by the hair, Kofi rolls him up in a schoolboy with a handful of tights for 3.
WINNER: KOFI KINGSTON.
Rip Thomas pointed out that Kofi was the legal man in the match. Considering it was a one-on-one match…
We see Team C*m Dumpster Fire in the back. They’re planning a celebration (no, I’m not calling it what they’re calling it) for Nikki breaking AJ Lee’s record. Easy to do when you never defend it and you’re humping the top guy in the company. This segment seems to go on and on and on to the delight of absolutely no one.
Big Show is heading out for his match, but he’s stopped by the Miz. Miz hands him a binder that he needs to take a look at. Show briefly glances at it, rolls his eyes and throws it to the ground.
MATCH 3: CESARO VS. THE BIG SHOW
Cesaro immediately hits a pair of dropkicks, then follows up with some European uppercuts in the corner. Show turns it around with a pair of open-hand chops, then lands a big gut shot in the adjacent corner. Show goes for another chop, but Cesaro blocks it with a jujigatame over the top rope. Cesaro then dives onto Show’s arm from the top rope before driving it across his shoulder several times. Show shakes it off and throws Cesaro across the ring, then pins Cesaro in the corner before shoving his ass into Cesaro’s midsection. Show drops Cesaro to his back, then drives an elbow into Cesaro’s left leg. He stands on the left foot before putting all of his weight down onto it. He does this one more time, then ties Cesaro’s leg up in the ropes in the corner. He boots Cesaro in the knee, then stands on it over the bottom rope. Show drags him towards the center, then lifts Cesaro up in a version of a kneebar. Cesaro climbs himself up the ropes and breaks the hold with a version of a headscissors. He hits a series of European uppercuts in the corner, then lands a running knee. He goes up top and takes Show down with a cross-body for 2. Cesaro hits a low spinning European for 2, but Show recovers and goes for the chokeslam. Cesaro breaks it and locks in a vertical crossface. Show breaks free, so Cesaro goes for more Europeans. He runs into the goozle again, and Show picks him up for the chokeslam. Cesaro backflips out of it in a cool spot, then goes for the Neutralizer. Show counters with a back-body drop. Cesaro lands on his feet, but tweaks his knee in the process. He turns around and gets pancaked. Show drops the straps and hits the KO Punch for 3.
WINNER: THE BIG SHOW.
Whatever. F*ck the Big Show.
Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns are talking before they are interrupted by Renee Young. She points out their six-man against the Wyatt Family at NoC, says they’ve found a partner, and ask who it is. Reigns says everyone wants to know. He’d love to tell her, but he’s not going to. After everything Bray Wyatt has done and all the people he’s taken out, he’s playing this close to his chest. Ambrose had a bright idea to make a phone call to someone and made the call. Ambrose says sometimes the ideas just come to him. Young asks for a hint. Ambrose says she’ll find out when the Wyatts find out at NoC. Ever since Wyatt let the “black sheep” out of his pen and unleashed Braun Strowman, they’ve been outgunned and outnumbered. But this Sunday, the odds are even, and they’ll be ready. Reigns turns his attention to tonight. Seth Rollins is the champ, and Sheamus has the contract. There’s no way they can get along. That means he and Ambrose get a big win tonight, then head to Sunday for war.
MATCH 4: KEVIN OWENS VS. DOLPH ZIGGLER
We get an inset promo from Rusev and Summer Rae. Rusev accuses Ziggler of trying to steal his “Hot Summer”, then says something about Ziggler’s arms and breaking him in half.
Ziggler charges at Owens in the corner with punches. Owens shoves him off, and Ziggler repeats. Eventually, Owens catches him with a back elbow off the ropes, then goes for a bodyslam. Ziggler ducks and hits a dropkick. He goes for a cross-body, but Owens catches him for a fall-away slam. Ziggler counters into a schoolboy for 2, then goes for another dropkick, only to have Owens swat him away. Owens hits a senton to the back for 2. Owens throws Ziggler to the corner, and Ziggler slumps to the mat. Owens nails a right to the face, then whips Ziggler hard into the buckles. Owens drags him to the middle and stomps his right wrist for 2. Owens talks a bunch of trash before Ziggler fires off some rights. He goes for the leaping DDT, but Owens tosses him off and plants him with a DDT of his own for 2. Commercials.
Back from the break, Owens has Ziggler in a rear chinlock. Ziggler counters with a jawbreaker, then nails a back elbow. He avoids a corner charge and sends Owens shoulder-first into the ring post. Owens misses a clothesline, and Ziggler hits a pair of his own. He follows up with a corner splash and goes for a neckbreaker. Owens reverses into a back suplex. Ziggler lands on his feet and rolls Owens up in a schoolboy for 2. He then backslides Owens for 2 before connecting with the rocker dropper for another 2. Ziggler goes for the Zig-Zag, but Owens blocks by grabbing the ropes. He tries for a superkick, but Ziggler blocks it and connects with the leaping DDT for 2. Owens rolls to the floor and slumps onto the barricade. Ziggler follows, only to get a fall-away slam into the barricade. Owens rolls in to break the count, and Ziggler is crawling to break it as well. He does so at 8, so Owens rolls him back out and throws him into the ring post before tossing him into the timekeeper’s area. The ref starts his count again, and Ziggler is trying to beat the count. Ziggler barely makes it back in, and now Owens is screaming for him to get up. Ziggler pulls himself up on the ropes, and Owens superkicks him to the floor. Owens heads outside and looks for a powerbomb on the floor. Ryback charges to the ring and goes after Owens, leading to the DQ.
WINNER VIA DISQUALIFICATION: KEVIN OWENS.
Ryback knocks Owens down before hitting a spinebuster. He goes for Shell Shocked, but Owens escapes and runs up the ramp.
More crap with Brie Bell and Alicia Fox. They have a security guard. No one on their guest list has called them. Thrilling television.
Now we see Nikki has joined them. She wants to go to her party. She walks in, and there’s no one around. Brie says no one showed up. She demands they fix it. PCB show up a moment later. Charlotte says she should get used to feeling lonely, because it’s going to get lonelier. At NoC, if Nikki loses in any fashion, she loses the title. They leave, and Adam Rose is now there. He says her party sucks, while wearing fake glasses. Nikki throws her cake at the other members of Team C*m Dumpster Fire.
We see Dolph Ziggler in the back. Summer Rae checks on him, then says the gift he gave her on RAW was unexpected. Ziggler says enough of everything, and they need to let bygones be bygones. She calls it an expensive peace offering. He says sometimes a rose is just a rose. Then again, sometimes it means more.
Rollins and Sheamus exchange some words before the match. Rollins and Ambrose start, with Ambrose taking Rollins down by the arm. Sheamus tags himself in, then goes outside for a microphone so he can yell at the fans again. Rollins is laughing as Sheamus starts insulting the audience. Back in the ring, Sheamus rolls him up for 2, then applies a side headlock. He hits a forearm off the ropes, then tees off on Sheamus with punches before tagging in Reigns. Ambrose hits a dropkick against the ropes before Reigns hits a leaping clothesline. Rollins charges in and gets backdropped to the floor. Ambrose tags in and goes for a suicide dive. Rollins sees it coming and ducks, so Reigns blasts him with a clothesline. He ducks one from Sheamus, and Ambrose hits Sheamus with a slingshot plancha. Commercials.
Back from the break, Rollins has Ambrose in a cobra clutch. During the commercial, apparently Sheamus and Rollins were arguing. Back to the match, Ambrose fights out of the hold, armdrags Rollins, then runs into a complete shot into the middle buckle. Rollins hits him with a back suplex into a backbreaker for 2, then reluctantly tags in Sheamus. Sheamus hits Rollins with a standing suplex, then does it again. Sheamus hits Rollins with a right, then goes for a third suplex, only to have Ambrose counter with a small package for 2. Sheamus nails him with a clothesline, then tags in Rollins. Rollins stomps Ambrose down, then kicks away at him in the corner. He hits a running corner forearm, then tags in Sheamus. Sheamus boots Ambrose, hits a snapmare and applies a rear chinlock. Ambrose escapes with some elbows, but then gets clubbed in the gut before Sheamus gets him up in a powerbomb. Ambrose counters with a hurricanrana over the top rope. Sheamus comes back in and gets dropped with a swinging neckbreaker. Reigns and Rollins tag in, with Reigns muscling Rollins into the corner. He hits a running Samoan drop, then nails Rollins with a series of corner clotheslines. Rollins escapes a powerslam and rolls him up for 2. Reigns blocks a thrust kick, rolls Rollins up for 2, then powers him and drops him in a powerbomb. Reigns calls for the Superman Punch, but Rollins rolls to the apron. He gives Reigns a hotshot, then comes back in with a chop block and a thrust kick. Sheamus begs for a tag, but then drops to the apron. Rollins grabs his case. As Sheamus jumps on the apron to wrestle it from him, Rollins slaps him for a tag and drops to the floor. Sheamus goes after him, but then gets hit with a suicide dive from Ambrose, who has apparently tagged in. Reigns hits Sheamus with a Superman Punch, and Ambrose drops him with Dirty Deeds for 3.
WINNERS: DEAN AMBROSE AND ROMAN REIGNS.
The lights go out, and a Wyatt Family video package appears on the TitanTron. Bray Wyatt then appears on the screen and asks them who would be foolish enough to join them at NoC. To be honest, it doesn’t matter, because he knows in the end, they all fall down. Luke Harper appears on the screen, as does Braun Strowman. Strowman takes off his mask and tells them to run.
END OF SHOW.