We are in Atlanta, GA this week, and Dean Ambrose is opening up the show. Ambrose is limping a bit and holding his side as he makes his way down to the ring. Ambrose grabs a chair to sit down on while he talks about how banged up he is. He says he doesn’t set a lot of goals; he likes to work off a 5-second plan. Sometimes, it doesn’t work out. Sometimes he angers someone like Brock Lesnar, who then throws him through a windshield. Sometimes, however, it does work out. On RAW, Triple H rambled on, and Ambrose got into his face. He got beat down, but it works out okay, because on March 12th on the WWE Network, Ambrose gets a shot at the WWE World title. If all goes well, he’ll be the one defending the title at Wrestlemania. Here’s where things get messy, because all the promo stuff has been made. He’s screwing things up. If he’s the champion on April 3rd, what does he do? Does he defend the title against Roman Reigns? Might be the right thing to do, but he still wants a piece of Lesnar. On a third hand, Triple H runs the show, so he might book himself into a rematch. Maybe Ambrose will fight them all in a cage instead. Anything can happen. The road to WM is getting bumpy…but that’s later. Until then, he’ll do his own thing.
Kevin Owens interrupts. He asks Ambrose why he’s out spewing crap? What gives him the right to open SD this way? All he’s been doing lately is getting beaten up. Lesnar used his face as a doormat, and Trips used him as a punching bag. Yet, here Ambrose is here, with two huge matches: Trips at Roadblock and Lesnar at WM. Owens is here as the IC Champion, and he doesn’t even have an opponent for WM. Ambrose tells him to make some challenges, if he’s that concerned. Ambrose tells him to wear a helmet if he challenges Lesnar. Owens says Ambrose makes him sick. He’s everything wrong with WWE. Owens then shoves Ambrose in his chair, knowing Ambrose is broken down. Owens tries a cheap shot and misses a clothesline. Ambrose grabs the chair and cracks him across the back, sending him to the floor. Ambrose points out the giant TV screen, and how he could see Owens a mile away. Ambrose then challenges Owens to a match right now.
Tonight, Sasha Banks faces Becky Lynch for a shot at the Divas title. Up next, the Usos face Sheamus and Rusev.
MATCH 1: THE USOS (JEY AND JIMMY) VS. RUSEV AND SHEAMUS (W/KING BARRETT & ALBERTO DEL RIO)
Sheamus starts with Jimmy and rams him to the corner. Sheamus beats him up in the corner before sending him across the ring. Jimmy puts on the brakes and comes back with a pair of uppercuts. Chops for Sheamus before Jey tags in. Sheamus blasts him with a forearm and tags in Rusev. The two trade some punches before Jey goes for a side headlock. Rusev gets a rope break, misses a shot and gets another headlock before catching a knee. Jey comes back with a Samoan drop, but Rusev escapes and shoves Jey to the floor. Jey tries to fight his way back in before Rusev dropkicks him to the floor. Behind the ref’s back, Sheamus launches Jey into the barricade. Commercials.
Back from the break, Jey is fighting out of a chinlock. Sheamus knees him and hits a botched standing suplex. He calls for the 10 Beats of the Bodhran, hits them, then tags in Rusev, who splashes the back of Jey in the ropes. Rusev gets 2 and just screams “Your braddah!” repeatedly before hitting a field goal kick. Rusev rakes the face and goes for a back suplex. Jey lands on his feet and goes for a tag, but Rusev blocks and sends Jey into the ropes. Jey comes back with a float-over DDT, then tags in Jimmy as Sheamus comes in. Hot, hot, HOT tag action from Jimmy, ending in a Samoan drop. He hits the hip attack in the corner for 2 as Rusev breaks it up. Jey comes in and low-bridges Rusev. Jey then wipes out Barrett and ADR with a suicide dive. Outside, Rusev blasts Jey with a superkick before Jimmy ducks a Brogue Kick in the ring and wipes Rusev out with a suicide dive. Sheamus heads out and eats a superkick as he comes off the stairs. Back in the ring, Jimmy nails Barrett with a superkick on the apron, then heads up for the Samoan Splash. Sheamus gets his knees up, then connects with the Brogue Kick for 3.
WINNERS: RUSEV AND SHEAMUS.
Barrett is completely no-selling the superkick, which makes me oddly happy.
As the League of Nations are celebrating, the Dudley Boyz come down to the ring, carrying a table. Jey goes after them as they hit the ring, but gets quickly double-teamed. Bubba Ray sets the table up, then screams in Jimmy’s face about lying about taking this personally. He drops Jimmy with a big boot before D-Von starts screaming in his face. D-Von then turns the table over.
MATCH 2: DOLPH ZIGGLER VS. THE MIZ
Yes, this feud is still going. The bell rings and Miz hits a cheap shot before pounding Ziggler and landing a boot to the face for 2. Another boot. Then another boot for 2. He stomps Ziggler down in the corner, then flails across the ring for the hanging clothesline, only for Ziggler to block and catch him with a backslide for 3.
WINNER: DOLPH ZIGGLER.
Jerry Lawler claims Ziggler’s win was faster than Miz’s win on RAW. Not that it matters.
We see R-Truth at a catering table, talking to some random guy. He spots Goldust eating another table. He sits down to chat, and Goldust is ignoring him. Truth apologizes for the things he said on RAW. Goldust says he’s not a joke and doesn’t need pity or scorn. Truth is all of a sudden on board for a tag team with Goldust. Goldust doesn’t buy it and smashes his own food in his face.
MATCH 2-WINNER BECOMES THE #1 CONTENDER TO WWE DIVAS CHAMPIONSHIP: BECKY LYNCH VS. SASHA BANKS
This should be a killer match…which leads me to believe we’ll get another schmozz ending.
The two go into a lock-up, which Banks turns into a pin for 2. Lynch holds on, gets vertical and shoves Banks off before hitting an armdrag for 1. Lather, rinse, repeat. Lynch gets Banks in a test of strength and muscles her down for a trio of 1-counts. Banks reverses into a victory roll for 1, then locks in a front chancery. Lynch trips Banks and hits two more armdrags. She misses a corner attack, hits a back elbow and a kick out of the corner, then applies a top wristlock and powers Banks down before going for a jujigatame. Banks stacks her up for 1, and Lynch keeps the hold on. She gets vertical, where Banks nails a couple forearms and hits a springboard armdrag. Lynch blocks a monkey flip and sets Banks on the top, where Banks gets in a sunset flip for 2. Lynch gets in a jackknife for 2, and the two go for simultaneous dropkicks.
This is when Charlotte and her drunk grandmother come down to ringside. Commercials.
Back from the break, Banks has Lynch in a modified surfboard. Lynch tries to reverse, but gets snapped back down for 2. Banks goes for a double underhook, back into the surfboard. Lynch reverses, breaks the hold with a knee, then comes off the ropes with a clothesline, followed by another and a leg lariat. She connects with a forearm in the corner before Banks reverses an exploder into a roll-up for 2. Lynch catches the exploder on the second try for 2, then comes off the ropes with a quick leg and a quick elbow before missing the revolution legdrop. Banks nails a double knee right into a pin for 2. Lynch comes back with a schoolgirl for 2, only to have Banks reverse into the Banks Statement. Lynch manages to get a rope break, and Banks is frustrated as she stares at the WM sign. This gives Lynch a chance to recover and go for the Disarmer. Banks escapes and hits two double knees in the corner for 2. Banks lands a kick to the chops before getting caught with a Very European Uppercut for 2. Lynch is now the one getting frustrated. The two trade forearms as they fight to their feet until Banks reverses a European into a backslide. Lynch escapes and dropkicks her to the floor. She comes off the apron with a clothesline and misses. The two then simultaneously clothesline each other. Grandma Flair dances around, wooing at both women. They get in his face, leading to Charlotte forearming both of them in the back for the end of the match.
WINNER: NO CONTEST.
Yep. Great match ruined by a schmozz ending.
Charlotte beats on both women, throwing Lynch into the barricade and throwing Banks with an exploder.
Dean Ambrose vs. Kevin Owens is officially confirmed for the main event tonight.
We see Charlotte and grandma celebrating when they’re interrupted by Renee Young. She states the obvious, which then leads to Charlotte to say neither of them deserve a title shot. She’s beaten Lynch twice, and Banks has never done anything to deserve a title match. Young says she got a scoop during the break: Charlotte will defend the title against both in a triple threat at WM. Charlotte and Uncle Grandpa are speechless.
The New Day come out for a match, but first…hell, you know damn well what’s coming first: promo about unicorns and gold or something.
Oh, and Y2AJ is in there, too.
MATCH 3: WWE TAG TEAM CO-CHAMPION KOFI KINGSTON (W/BIG E AND XAVIER WOODS) VS. AJ STYLES
Styles goes after Woods, then gets rolled up by Kofi, only to reverse for 1. He gets a backbreaker in for another 1 before Kofi hits a forearm. Crisscross leads to a Styles dropkick. Styles grabs Woods’ trombone, and the distraction allows Kofi to nail him from behind. Styles fights him off and hits a pescado on Woods on the floor. Kofi drops him with a baseball slide. Commercials.
Back from the break, Kofi has Styles in an armbar. Styles fights out, gets kneed and then thrown to the corner. Kofi then goes into a one-man Unicorn Stampede, including pretend tags, ending with a basement dropkick in the corner. Kofi kicks Styles right in the face for 2, then grinds him down with a chinlock. Styles counters with a sit-out jawbreaker before Kofi trips him off a rope bounce. Kofi heads up top, only to have Styles block the dive and hit a back-body drop. Styles hits a clothesline, a back elbow, a snapmare and a basement flying forearm. A corner clothesline connects, as does the Ushi Kobashi for 2. If I am spelling that wrong, please correct me. Anyway, Styles is up first, but it’s all for naught as Kofi catches him with a nice roundhouse. He follows up with the SOS for 2, then starts a clap. He misses Trouble in Paradise, then gets caught with the Pele’. Styles charges into the corner and gets backdropped to the floor. Woods tries for a cheap shot as E has the ref distracted, but the ref catches them before ejecting Woods and E from ringside. As Kofi is arguing with the ref, Styles comes off the top with a flying forearm and gets 3.
WINNER: AJ STYLES.
E and Woods return to ringside and try to corner Styles, but he outsmarts them by running back into the ring and up the ramp.
Wyatt Family promo time. WWE has mismanaged this group so badly I no longer look forward to Bray Wyatt doing…well, anything anymore. The promo is about Brock Lesnar, who he’s facing at Roadblock. Wyatt says he’s more than just a man. Where he comes from, beasts bow to him. Soon, so will Lesnar. Run.
MATCH 4: WWE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION KEVIN OWENS VS. DEAN AMBROSE (NON-TITLE)
Ambrose applies a side headlock, then hits a hip throw. He hits a shoulder off the ropes, hurting himself in the process, then connects with another hip throw. Owens nails him in the ribs, and Ambrose bails to the floor in pain. Ambrose slaps himself around a bit and comes back in, going for a half-nelson. He turns it into a snapmare, then applies an armbar. Ambrose turns it into a hammerlock, only to have Owens escape and knee him in the gut. Owens assaults Ambrose in the corner, then does the same in the adjacent corner. Ambrose gets sent across the ring, avoids contact and goes for Dirty Deeds. Owens senses it and bails to the floor as we go to commercials.
Back from the break, Ambrose is heading up top. He dives over Owens, rolls through, then goes for DD again. Owens instead rams him into the corner with some shoulder thrusts, then hits a running senton for 2. Owens kicks Ambrose in the spine, then stomps him in the corner. Ambrose fights back with a punch, but Owens puts a stop to that, nailing him with body blows before locking in a low abdominal stretch. Ambrose fights to his feet and hits a hiptoss. He charges at Owens, only to get thrown to the floor. Outside, Owens hits another running senton on the floor. Ambrose barely breaks the count at 9, and Owens tosses him right back out before launching him into the barricade. Owens screams at Mauro Ranallo at ringside, then rolls Ambrose back in. Ambrose spins through and clotheslines Owens on the floor. Ambrose then gets back in, followed by Owens at 9. In the ring, Ambrose sends Owens shoulder-first into the post for 2, then unloads on Owens with strikes. He hits a couple running forearms, a third in the corner and goes for the bulldog. Owens shoves him off, then gets low-bridged to the floor. Ambrose wipes Owens out with a suicide dive. Ambrose rolls Owens back in and heads up top for a diving elbow, but Owens sends him gut-first into the top buckle. Owens connects with the cannonball in the corner, but it’s still only good for 2. Owens sets Ambrose on the top and looks for a superplex. He hits a few gut shots first and rips off the bandages before Ambrose starts pelting him with wild swings. Owens goes down, and Ambrose nails the flying elbow for 2. Owens heads to the floor, and Ambrose goes for another suicide dive. Owens catches him this time and rams him back-first into the apron. Owens starts ripping up the announce desk as Ambrose crawls back into the ring. Owens sees him, heads in and misses a clothesline. Ambrose ducks and goes for DD once more. Owens escapes and sends him into the ropes for the pop-up. Ambrose counters with hurricanrana, but then turns around into a superkick. Owens goes for the senton once more, but Ambrose blocks with his knees. Ambrose then surprises Owens with Dirty Deeds and gets 3.
WINNER: DEAN AMBROSE.
END OF SHOW.