This is the go-home show before Roadblock, and we are in Milwaukee, WI. Tonight, Dean Ambrose, Dolph Ziggler and the Usos take on the Wyatt Family in the main event.
The Miz is in the ring for “MizTV”. His guests are friends-turned-enemies. His first guest prevented Kevin Owens from powerbombing Neville on the apron on RAW, that being Sami Zayn. His second guest is Owens himself. Zayn is out first for a solo interview. Miz blathers on about Zayn’s journey to WWE. He asks who Zayn is. Zayn starts to tell his story, but Miz cuts him off and tells him to fast-forward to his relationship with Owens. Zayn starts to tell his story about touring with Owens and their entire history. He points out he was even the best man at Owens’ wedding. He doesn’t know what happened between them. Owens debuted the night Zayn won the NXT title and immediately turned onto Zayn. Zayn says the worst part is he doesn’t fully understand why Owens did what he did. Miz says there’s two sides to every story, then introduces Owens.
Owens comes out, mic already in-hand. He says Zayn knows why Owens did what he did. He did what he did because it was best for his career. It wasn’t personal; it was the best thing for Owens. Zayn got signed two years before Zayn did, yet Owens debuted on RAW a year before Zayn. Tell him he’s wrong. Owens then brings up the Royal Rumble and this past Monday on RAW. Owens claims he’s the real victim here. Zayn disagrees. He’s here to stay, and the first thing he’s going to do is beat Owens for the IC title at Wrestlemania. Owens says Zayn is not worthy of the title. This is “The Kevin Owens Show”, and here, Zayn is nothing. Zayns says since they’re both here, why doesn’t Owens prove his worth right now? Owens says Zayn doesn’t deserve to share the ring with Owens. Owens is out of here.
As he heads up the ramp, Neville blocks his path. Zayn isn’t the only person Owens has to worry about. As far as Neville is concerned, the IC title would look mighty fine around his waist. Miz reminds us he’s still here, then bitches about why they should get IC title matches over him. If anyone deserves it, it’s him. He’s a five-time champion and main-evented WM while Zayn and Neville main-evented bingo halls. Zayn says Miz isn’t concerned with this issue. Also, his years of main-eventing WM are far, far, far behind him. Miz then blasts Zayn with a forearm from behind, leading to Zayn nailing him with a few of his own before Miz bails to the floor.
MATCH 1: SAMI ZAYN AND NEVILLE VS. THE MIZ AND KEVIN OWENS
Miz and Zayn start with a few reversals. Zayn eventually takes control with an armbar and tags in Neville. Neville continue to work over the arm as we get a quick tag back to Zayn. More in-and-out from the faces, with Neville coming back in. Miz shoves Neville to the heel corner and tags in Owens, who shoulders Neville off the ropes. Neville kips up, hits a forearm, avoids a corner whip and snaps off a hurricanrana. Zayn in, but Owens quickly rolls to his corner for the tag. Miz runs into an armdrag, then another. Neville tags in and hits a corkscrew moonsault off Zayn’s back after a short powerslam for 2. Miz low-bridges Neville to the floor and tags in Owens, who stomps Neville down after he rolls back in. Neville comes back with kicks before getting low-bridged again by Miz. Commercials.
Back from the break, Owens pins Neville for 2, then tags in Miz. Miz does some stuff, then distracts the ref for an Owens cheap shot before getting a 2. Miz goes to the rear chinlock, only for Neville to fight out. He goes for the tag, but Miz whips him down by the hair. A low running boot gets 2. Miz then amps up the action with an armbar. Neville forearms Miz, then runs into the Reality Check for 2. God, that move sucks. Miz misses a kick and gets rolled up for 2. A stiff-arm clothesline by Miz gets 2 before Neville throws him to the floor. Miz dives back in to prevent the tag, but fails. Zayn with a few shots and a clothesline before he chases Owens off the apron. Zayn comes off the top with a cross-body, then mounts the buckles for some corner punches. Zayn chops Miz and hits a tornado DDT. He begs for Owens to get in the match, but Owens bails on the match instead. Zayn goes after him, but gets rolled up for 2. Miz now realizes what’s going on before he runs into a head-and-arm suplex into the buckles. Zayn with a Helluva Kick in the corner, and that’s good for 3.
WINNERS: NEVILLE AND SAMI ZAYN.
I hope Zayn develops a better finisher than that down the road.
We see Goldust in a bathroom stall, looking for toilet paper. A hand appears on the screen in front of his stall door, belonging to R-Truth. Truth offers partnership again. Goldust just wants TP. Truth sensed Goldust was in need. Goldust has what Truth needs, and Truth has the same for Goldust (the aforementioned TP). Goldust takes the TP and goes back to his stall before telling Truth the answer is still “no”.
MATCH 2: BRIE BELLA VS. SUMMER RAE
Oh, what fresh hell is this? Lana is sitting on the announce desk for commentary. Three of the absolute worst female talents on the roster in one segment. Calgon, take me away. Typical match from both ends with Brie co-opting the Yes! Lock for the submission win.
WINNER: BRIE BELLA.
Lana taunts Brie after the match, and Rae tries to get in a cheap shot. Brie sees it coming and gives Rae the Brie Mode before Lana comes in and hits what is apparently now known as the Bella Buster. Like I said, hell.
Long video package for Shane McMahon. I still find it funny that the Mean Street Posse were brought in as a comedy act to make Shane look better by comparison, despite one third of the group, Jason Arndt (Joey Abs), actually being a trained wrestler who had been a jobber in WWF for years prior and was vastly superior in every way.
Chris Jericho makes his way out, and he’s got like a suit slung over his shoulder. We go back to RAW, where Jericho ended his short-lived team with AJ Styles, courtesy of a trio of Codebreakers. Turns out what I thought was a suit is a “Y2AJ” shirt, which Jericho hangs on a garbage can in the ring. Jericho gets mad at the fans for booing him. When they could have cheered for him, they cheered for Styles instead. Everyone has disrespected him, forgetting he’s the best in the world at what he does, and he can do it all. Jericho says he excels at everything he does, and the screen freezes while the audio keeps going. After RAW, who did everyone chant for? Styles. Never mind all the classics Jericho has delivered in. Never been hurt a single day in 17 years with WWE, yet the fans still chant for Styles. Everyone chanting for Styles can go to hell. They chanted for him on RAW, despite all of Jericho’s accomplishments. Jericho has seen the “next big thing” time and time again. The guy always disappears months later. Jericho isn’t the next big thing; he’s the only thing. Styles has been here for six weeks, yet the fans chose him over Jericho. Shame on them. Now, Jericho will watch Styles’ career burn out and fade away. He’s seen it before, and it’ll happen again. Styles is a bum. Jericho squirts lighter fluid into the trashcan, then says Styles’ career is going up in flames. Y2AJ was something special, and everyone ruined it because they chose Styles over Jericho. Jericho says it’s his fault to let Styles be his partner. A “rookie” should never have been his partner. Styles burned him, and now Jericho will burn Styles in effigy. Jericho lights the shirt on fire, then drops it in the trashcan. Y2AJ is officially over, and it’s Styles’ fault. As a result, his career will go up in flames, and Jericho will be the one to light the fire.
We get a video for the Big Boss Man being inducted into the Hall of Fame this year.
MATCH 3: THE LUCHA DRAGONS (WWE UNITED STATES CHAMPION KALISTO AND SIN CARA) VS. KING BARRETT AND SHEAMUS (W/RUSEV)
We are informed Barrett and Sheamus will face the New Day for the tag titles at Roadblock. Sheamus and Kalisto start the match by circling each other. Sheamus piefaces Kalisto, so Kalisto throws some kicks. Sheamus quickly clubs him down, then throws him to the floor. Kalisto lands on the apron, hits a hotshot and a springboard hurricanrana. Cara tags in and works the arm before Sheamus forearms him. Cara comes back with some dropkicks. Kalisto in, and they do their monkey flip/splash spot, sending Sheamus to the floor. The Dragons celebrate as we see Ryback watching on a monitor in the back. Sheamus comes back with a shot, then runs into a boot. Barrett causes a distraction, allowing Sheamus to knock Kalisto to the floor. Commercials.
Back from the break, Barrett has Kalisto up on the buckles and is clubbing him across the back before hitting a field goal kick for 2. Barrett grinds Kalisto down, but Kalisto fights back with kicks. He reverses a corner whip and goes for a headscissors, but Barrett blocks and kicks Kalisto in the gut for 2. Sheamus in, and it’s more kicks from the Irishman. Kalisto sent shoulder-first into the post, and Sheamus follows that up with a kneelift. Sheamus screams “This is Sparta!” before hitting a powerslam for 2. I thought he only quoted Gladiator? I guess he likes 300, too. Barrett tags in and snap suplexes his way into 2. Sheamus back in, and he smacks Kalisto around a bit. Kalisto with more kicks until Sheamus blocks and goes for a back suplex. Kalisto lands on his feet and falls into the buckles, where Sheamus charges, only to miss and crash to the floor after smacking into the post. Cara and Barrett tag in. Cara with some high-flying before he kicks an incoming Rusev. Cara gets sent to the apron, then low-bridges Barrett before hitting a suicide dive. Back in the ring, Cara hits an Asai moonsault for 2 before Sheamus breaks it up. Cara escapes a Sheamus powerslam and sends him to the floor before backdropping an incoming Kalisto outside as well. Barrett eats an apron kick, and now Cara is up top. Rusev shoves him down behind the ref’s back, which allows Barrett to hit the Royal Bull Hammer for 3.
WINNERS: KING BARRETT AND SHEAMUS.
When the hell was the last time Barrett got a pin? Perhaps WWE convinced him to stay with the company a bit longer.
Ryback is still looking on from backstage, leading into an inteview by Jojo. Ryback says two little men can’t beat two big men. The little guys put up a good fight, but he feels sorry for them. From a genetic or physical standpoint, not all men are created equal.
Renee Young is standing by with the Usos. She mentions the Dudley Boyz. This leads to the two yelling over each other. OOS! SUPERKICK! HOOTY-HOO! Dolph Ziggler and Dean Ambrose walk up. Young points out Ziggler’s deal with Stephanie McMahon. He mentions beer. Ambrose says “Wyatt hunting” is one of his favorite things to do.
MATCH 4: THE WYATT FAMILY (LUKE HARPER, ERICK ROWAN, BRAUN STROWMAN AND BRAY WYATT) VS. DOLPH ZIGGLER, THE USOS (JEY & JIMMY) AND DEAN AMBROSE
Ambrose and Harper start. Ambrose with a couple of holds before he attacks the arm. Harper comes back with a shoulder off the ropes before flexing, which doesn’t fit this gimmick at all. Then again, this gimmick hasn’t made sense in ages. Ambrose catches Harper with an armdrag, then tags in Ziggler. Ziggler continues working the arm, then nails a dropkick. Jimmy in, more work on the arm. Jey in, and he hits a shot to the face in the corner. Harper breaks an arm wringer with a forearm before bailing to the floor. Commercials.
Back from the break, Harper knocks Jey to the corner with an uppercut, then stomps him down. Harper attacks the face, then lights him up with a double chop in the corner. Harper with another chop after ripping the shirt, only for Jey to come back with some uppercuts. Ziggler in, and he nails a dropkick and a corner splash. Harper shoves off the neckbreaker, which allows Rowan to clothesline Ziggler from the apron. Wyatt tags in and continues the attack, giving Ziggler a Hart bump in the corner before tagging in Strowman’s worthless ass. Strowman rams Ziggler into the buckles and soaks in the Jarrett Heat before stomping and clubbing Ziggler. Harper tags in for a 2-count and applies a side headlock. Ziggler fights to his feet, escapes and goes for a dropkick. Harper catches him and catapults him under the second rope before rolling him to the floor. Ziggler makes it in at 9, where Harper lands a European uppercut. Ziggler kicks him and goes for the rocker dropper. Harper blocks and goes for a powerbomb, which Ziggler counters into a sunset flip for 2 before hitting a leaping DDT. Ziggler tags to Jey, and it’s a hot, hot, HAWT tag. Jey hits a Samoan drop, then goes for the hip attack. Rowan blocks, then eats a superkick from Jimmy. The Usos audition for a Double Mint commercial, with a pair of stereo spots before Jey comes off the top with a Samoan Splash, only to land on Harper’s knees. Ambrose and Rowan tag in. Ambrose hits his usual stuff, dives over Rowan, ducks a clothesline and connects with a swinging neckbreaker for 2. Ambrose goes up again and hits a flying elbow for 2 before Harper breaks it up with a cannonball. Jimmy sends him out with a superkick. Wyatt drops Jimmy with a standing uranage. Ziggler hits a superkick on Wyatt and sends him out. He hits two more on Strowman, then gets blasted with a clothesline. Jey gets caught off the top and locked in Strowman’s lame choke. Ambrose breaks that up and sends Strowman shoulder-first into the ring post. As you watch Strowman’s lack of action in this match and how sloppy he is, remember that he was supposed to headline Wrestlemania against both the Undertaker and Brock Lesnar at various points this year. Anyway, Rowan rolls Ambrose up for 2, then goes for a powerbomb. Ambrose escapes, ducks a roundhouse and plants Rowan with Dirty Deeds for 3.
WINNERS: DEAN AMBROSE, THE USOS AND DOLPH ZIGGLER.
END OF SHOW.
Four matches, three of which were tag team affairs. What the hell?