This week, we are in the Cajundome in Lafayette, LA, and we’ve got a triple main event tonight. First, the Dudley Boyz will take on Luke Harper and Erick Rowan in a tables match. Next, new US Champion Kalisto defends his title against the former champion, Alberto Del Rio. Finally, Dean Ambrose and Neville face Sheamus and Kevin Owens.
Renee Young is outside the building, waiting on Dean Ambrose, who has apparently requested time to make a statement. Moments later, a truck hauls ass up to the entrance, and it’s Ambrose. The truck peels out after Ambrose exits. Ambrose says he has a statement concerning Kevin Owens, but he likes to say things to people’s faces. He’s headed to the ring now and suggests Owens joins him.
Ambrose comes down to the ring, and we take a look at what happened last week in the main event, then clips from RAW between Sheamus and Ambrose, ending with Owens assaulting Ambrose after the match. Back to the arena, Ambrose says he has an announcement, then calls for a drumroll, which he is surprised to actually get it. He then cuts it off and says something is missing, Oh, right. Owens needs to be out here right now. After a minute, Owens doesn’t come out. Ambrose says it’s no big deal, he asks for a drumroll again, then says he’s challenging Owens to a last man standing match at the Royal Rumble. If Owens wants the IC title, he needs to try to do what no one else has done and keep Ambrose down.
Sheamus comes out a moment later. He says looking at Ambrose getting excited like a little kid, he must be so excited right now. Just like a little kid, he’s starting to annoy Sheamus and all the other adults here. Watching Ambrose in his fantasy world…this isn’t fantasy; this is reality. Ambrose says Sheamus formed the League of Nations Treehouse Fantasy Club, yet he’s the one supposedly living in a fantasy. Sheamus says he doesn’t have time for these jokes. The truth is, his best friend Roman Reigns stole the WWE World title from Sheamus. Because of him, Sheamus now has to compete with 29 other wrestlers in the Royal Rumble match. On top of that, he never got to finish his brawl with Ambrose on RAW. If there’s one thing he hates,
it’s starting a fight he doesn’t get to finish. The little souvenir on his head…well, he’s filling unfulfilled and needs to repay. He’s not waiting for later tonight. He’s going to embarrass Ambrose here and leave a mark on his face that will last forever. Ambrose responds by saying he’ll give Sheamus some physical therapy and beat on him until he cries.
Sheamus marches down to the ring, and that’s when Owens’ music hits. Owens says he heard the challenge earlier, and he’s not out here because his partner for tonight happened to come out here first. Now, there’s two of them and one of Ambrose. No, he’s out here to let Ambrose know it doesn’t matter what kind of match they have; Ambrose won’t walk out the IC Champion. In fact, he won’t walk out at all. Consider the challenge accepted. But that’s at the Rumble. As far as tonight goes…Owens and Sheamus drop their mics and circle the ring. Ambrose fights Owens off, only to get attacked by Sheamus from behind. Neville runs down and attacks Owens at ringside as Sheamus gets clotheslined back to the floor by Ambrose.
MATCH 1-TAG TEAM TABLES MATCH: THE DUDLEY BOYZ (BUBBA RAY AND D-VON) VS. LUKE HARPER AND ERICK ROWAN
The Dudleyz wait for their opponents, but instead of Harper and Rowan coming down to the ring, the intro of their video plays and the lights go out. When they come back in, the Wyatts are already in the ring, and they assault the Dudleyz from behind. The Wyatts maintain the attack for the first couple of minutes before Rowan hits a bodyslam on Bubba. Harper then forearms Bubba in the back before whipping Rowan into him in the corner. Bubba backdrops Rowan to the floor, then hits a couple clotheslines on Harper before hitting a back-body drop. D-Von is back up as Bubba hits a bodyslam. D-Von goes up top to connect with the Wassup?!, and now Bubba is calling for the table. D-Von grabs a table from ringside and slides it in before the Dudleyz get it set up near the ropes. D-Von turns around into a superkick by Harper, and Rowan takes Bubba out with a roundhouse. Commercials.
Back from the break, the Wyatts are assaulting D-Von in the corner as Bubba is laid out at ringside. Rowan sets up the table in the ring before the two assault D-Von in the corner. They go for a double suplex through the table, but Bubba moves it. He then boots Rowan and hits Harper with a uranage. The Dudleyz then hit 3-D #2 on Harper, then D-Von clotheslines Rowan. D-Von heads out to go after Harper at ringside, and in the ring, Bubba & Rowan clothesline each other simultaneously. Outside, D-Von slams Harper face-first into the ring steps, then slams him face-first onto a table set up at ringside. D-Von heads up to the apron, then goes up top. Strowman stands between D-Von and Harper, which allows Rowan to attack D-Von from behind. D-Von gets crotched, and now Strowman hands a kendo stick to Rowan. As Rowan goes for the stick, Bubba elbows him across the back of the head. He then hits Rowan with the stick a couple times and uses it to clothesline him to the floor. Strowman hits the ring and charges at Bubba, but Bubba moves out of the way and sends Strowman shoulder-first into the ring post, then crashing to the floor. Harper climbs the buckles with D-Von as, outside, Rowan charges at Bubba, only to miss and collide with the ring steps. D-Von fights Harper off, and Bubba runs up to shove Harper off the apron, right through the table at ringside.
WINNERS: THE DUDLEY BOYZ.
Strowman attacks both Dudleyz after the match with a double clothesline to the back. The three Wyatts then tear up ringside and slide tables into the ring. Strowman and Rowan set tables up in the corners. D-Von is thrown through one, then the other. Harper and Rowan turn their attention to Bubba at ringside as they continue to tear up the announce desk and toss furniture. Harper nails Bubba with uppercuts and forearms as Rowan sets up two tables in front of the announce desk. Bubba tries to fight them off, but to no avail. They roll Bubba onto the announce desk and climb up after him, where they put him through the tables with a double chokeslam. We then hear Bray Wyatt say, “Follow the buzzards” over the sound system.
Jojo is standing by with Kalisto. She points out all of his recent accomplishments, leading to him winning the US title on RAW. Kalisto says this feels surreal. Years ago, when he was training to be a WWE superstar, he lost hope. Little guys like him don’t survive in WWE. Then he saw what Eddy Guerrero did when he won the WWE title in 2004, followed by Rey Mysterio winning the Rumble in 2006. It gave him hope. All he needed was one opportunity. As you can see, he’s now the US Champion, and he plans to stay that.
MATCH 2: THE SOCIAL OUTCASTS (CURTIS AXEL, BO DALLAS, ADAM ROSE AND HEATH SLATER) VS. GOLDUST, ZACK RYDER, DAMIEN SANDOW AND JACK SWAGGER
I was starting to wonder if Sandow still worked here. He and Slater start, with Slater hitting a boot and applying a headlock. He bails to the floor off an Irish whip, where Dallas tries to lead the team in a victory lap. Sandow grabs Slater, nails a punch and rolls him back in for a tag to Goldust. Goldust hits an atomic drop, a kick and a drop-down uppercut before sending Slater into the buckles. Goldust mounts the buckles for some punches, then knocks Axel off the apron as he tries to interfere. It’s enough for Slater to come back with a kick and make a tag to Axel, who stomps Goldust down and lands a dropkick off the ropes. Goldust fights his way out of the corner and goes for a tag, but Axel hits a drop toehold and tags into Rose, who drops a forearm to Goldust’s back and gets a 2-count off a kneedrop. Off the ropes, Rose runs into a snap powerslam. Goldust crawls for a tag and tags to Swagger as Dallas tags in. Swagger hits a clothesline, a knee in the corner, a corner clothesline and a short-arm. Swagger goes for the Swagger Bomb, but Dallas gets his feet up. Swagger sees it coming, grabs Dallas’ foot and applies the Patriot Lock. Axel breaks it up with a forearm and accidentally sends Swagger in for a tag to Ryder, who then low-bridges Axel to the floor. On the apron, Ryder blocks a throw to the buckles, hits one of his own and climbs into the ring. He hits Dallas with a pair of knees in the corner, then comes off the middle with a missile dropkick. He then nails a corner forearm before knocking Rose and Slater off the apron. Ryder connects with the Broski Boot, but only gets 2. Dallas gets whipped into the corner and avoids contact, allowing Slater to nail Ryder with a forearm. Slater then turns around to celebrate as Dallas hits the Running Bo-Dog, using Slater’s head and back for momentum and knocking him off the apron. Dallas then covers Ryder and gets 3.
WINNERS: THE SOCIAL OUTCASTS.
We get an update on John Cena, who had surgery for a torn rotator cuff. The surgery was successful, and he’s already going through rehabilitation.
Renee Young is standing by with Alberto Del Rio. She points out Kalisto beating him for the US title, then asks if the huge response from the crowd has gotten to him at all. He says he could care less who people cheer for. Tonight, he brings them back to reality when he crushes the little mosquito and takes back what is his.
MATCH 3-WWE UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP: KALISTO (CHAMPION) VS. ALBERTO DEL RIO
ADR immediately knocks Kalisto down and throws him to the corner for some kicks. ADR mounts the buckles for some punches, then hits a snapmare and a basement dropkick to the back for 1. Kalisto comes back with some kicks before ADR knees him in the gut and hits a back suplex for 2. ADR puts Kalisto in the corner for some punches, then throws him down by the neck. ADR then picks Kalisto up and sets him up top. He goes after Kalisto’s mask and nearly gets it all the way off before Kalisto elbows him in the head and knocks him down. Kalisto gets to his feet and hits a seated a missile dropkick for 2. ADR comes back with a quick clothesline for 2. ADR taunts the crowd from the middle rope, then heads up top for a clubbing blow to the head for 2. ADR throws Kalisto to the corner by the mask, but then runs into a pair of boots. He blocks them, but get sent shoulder-first into the post off a hurricanrana out of the corner. Kalisto charges in, but gets tossed over ADR’s head. He lands on his feet on the second rope and hits a back kick. ADR comes back with a shot, then hits a double-knee armbreaker from the middle for 2. Kalisto rolls to the floor, and ADR follows suit. ADR slams the arm into the steps four times, then rolls Kalisto back in for a 2-count. ADR then applies an armbar, but Kalisto fights out with kicks, only to run into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for 2. ADR throws Kalisto shoulder-first into the post, then nails him with a right. He continues the assault in the adjacent corner before Kalisto hits a boot and a cross-body from the middle. He connects with a headscissors and charges into the corner, only to have ADR sidestep him and send him into the post once more. Kalisto falls to the floor as we go to commercials.
Back from the break, ADR hits a hammerlock suplex on the bad arm. King Barrett is now at ringside. ADR ties Kalisto in the tree of woe and kicks him repeatedly in the midsection. ADR heads up top for the double stomp, but Kalisto kicks him in the chest, then manages to pull off a hurricanrana while still hanging upside-down. ADR is up first, and he misses a corner charge. Kalisto comes off the top with a springboard sit-down splash, ducks a pair of clotheslines, then goes for the corkscrew cross-body. ADR sees it coming and moves, sending Kalisto to the mat. ADR hits the thrust kick out of the corner, but only gets 2. He calls for the rolling jujigatame, but like last week, Kalisto pops up with a hurricanrana for 2. He then connects with the springboard corkscrew and caps the series off with a spike ‘rana for 2. Kalisto is favoring his arm as ADR comes back with an arm wringer snap. ADR talks some trash and slaps Kalisto across the face. He lifts Kalisto up by the neck, but Kalisto counters with a jawbreaker. Kalisto gets up into an electric chair, but ADR throws him off. He lands on his feet and goes for the ropes, but ADR grabs his tights. Kalisto turns around and nails a big kick to the head. Kalisto goes for the Salida del Sol, but Barrett jumps up to distract him. ADR uses the distraction to counter into an armbar takedown, right into a jujigatame. Kalisto tries to get to the ropes, and manages to get his bottom foot on one after a good amount of time. I have to point out that was a ridiculously slopping jujigatame from ADR. ADR throws Kalisto onto the middle rope and nails him in the back a few times before coming off the ropes for a back splash. Kalisto moves and ADR slides through the ropes, apparently tweaking his knee on the landing. Kalisto goes for a somersault suicide dive, but Barrett pulls ADR out of the way, with Kalisto landing flat on his back. He rolls Kalisto back in, locks the jujigatame in once more, and Kalisto taps.
WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION: ALBERTO DEL RIO.
I have always hated fast title changes like that, and the fact that the man my friend Solomon Grundy and lovingly refer to as Alberto Del F**kface was involved in one this time isn’t helping anything. There is absolutely no point to them except for a quick “feel-good” moment, and they’re even more pointless when the new champion drops the belt right back to the guy he beat in the first place.
We get a quick blurb announcing Sting as the first inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame, Class of 2016. After some commercials, we get a full video.
Renee Young is standing by with Becky Lynch. Renee Young goes back to some footage from two weeks ago of the match between Lynch and Charlotte, with Lynch getting the win with a handful of tights, followed by a post-match attack by Charlotte. Back to Lynch, she says this isn’t the Charlotte she knew. Her best friend attacked her because she beat her in a match. It got her down. Young then turns the conversation to this past Monday, where Lynch assaulted Charlotte prior to her scheduled match with Brie Bella. Back to Lynch once again, she says she’ll stay that fired up until she takes the Divas title. She wants a match at the Rumble with Charlotte. Charlotte can bring the entire Flair clan. Lynch will be ready for them. There will be no distractions; just a straight-up “lass kicking”.
MATCH 4: BRIE BELLA (W/ALICIA FOX) VS. BECKY LYNCH
The two lock up, and Brie knees Lynch in the gut before slamming her face-first into the mat not once, not twice, but thrice. Lynch blocks a slam into the corner and counters with one of her own. Brie comes back with an elbow and a middle rope missile dropkick for 2. She then drops some elbows onto Lynch’s neck and shoulder before locking in an armbar/chinlock combo. Lynch fights out with punches before getting whipped down by the hair. Brie lands some kicks in the corner, but tries one too many, as Lynch blocks the last kick and sends Brie face-first into the middle buckle. Lynch hits a few punches and some European uppercuts before connecting with two clotheslines and a leg lariat. She hits a forearm in the corner and a jumping kick before hitting an exploder suplex for 2. Brie gets in a small package for 2, then kicks Brie and goes for the facebuster. Lynch blocks it, grabs Brie’s foot, snaps her down, hangs and rolls through into the Disarmer for the submission win.
WINNER: BECKY LYNCH.
MATCH 5: SHEAMUS AND KEVIN OWENS VS. NEVILLE AND INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION DEAN AMBROSE
Neville and Sheamus start with a lock-up, and Sheamus immediately hits a kneelift. He follows up with a forearm to the back before Neville hits a hurricanrana off the ropes. Ambrose tags in and grinds Sheamus’ face across the top. Sheamus comes back with forearms and uppercuts. Ambrose kicks Sheamus off the ropes, hits a seated dropkick, then clotheslines him to the floor. Owens tries to interfere, but Ambrose knocks him to the floor and follows up with a slingshot plancha. Sheamus then wipes Ambrose out with a clothesline at ringside. Commercials.
Back from the break, Owens is in control of Ambrose. He chokes Ambrose over the middle rope, then hits a short-arm clothesline. Owens knees Ambrose in the spine, then stomps on his hand before hitting a straight right. Owens then knees Ambrose in the face before tagging in Sheamus. Sheamus clubs Ambrose in the gut, then hits a bodyslam. Sheamus connects with a boot to the head, then drops a knee for 2. Owens tags in and punches Ambrose in the face. Ambrose gets corner-whipped, but blocks Owens with a boot and goes for a tornado DDT. Owens tosses him off, but Ambrose lands on his feet and hits a spinning neckbreaker. Neville tags in and hits a springboard seated dropkick. He follows up with a series of kicks before getting caught in a fireman’s carry. Neville lands on his feet off a throw and connects with a step-up enziguri. Neville goes for a German suplex, but Owens elbows out and tags in Sheamus. Sheamus runs into a superkick, and now Neville heads up top. He goes for a shooting star press, but Sheamus moves. Neville lands on his feet, only to have Owens yank him down by the hair from the apron. Sheamus then makes the tag, and Owens puts the boots to Neville before hitting a straight right. Owens kicks Neville in the spine while mocking Mauro Ranallo at ringside. Owens hits a headbutt before tagging in Sheamus. Sheamus stomps Neville before Neville hits a surprise jawbreaker. Sheamus recovers and hits an Irish Hammer for 2 before applying a rear chinlock. Neville fights out before Sheamus cuts him off with a kneelift. Owens tags in and hits a running senton. Owens taunts Ambrose, then stomps Neville for 2 before applying a chinlock. Neville gets to his feet, but Owens cuts him off with a knee. Neville flips off a back suplex and goes for a waistlock. Owens reverses and sends Neville flying with a release German, with Neville landing on his face. He measures Neville in the corner for the cannonball, but Neville sidesteps him and snaps off a quick German suplex of his own. Neville makes the tag to Ambrose as Sheamus tags in as well. Ambrose ducks a clothesline, hits a forearm and a clothesline of his own, then connects with a corner forearm before stomping Sheamus down and lighting him up with chops and jabs. Sheamus reverses a corner whip and charges in, only to miss and hit the post. Ambrose then plants him with a tornado DDT. Ambrose heads up top and connects with a flying elbow for 2 as Owens breaks it up. Ambrose blasts Owens with a forearm, then turns around into a fireman’s carry by Sheamus. Ambrose escapes, but gets caught with a European uppercut. He falls into the ropes for the Lunatic Lariat, but Owens stops that with a kick to the back. Sheamus then catches Ambrose with White Noise for 2. Owens begs for the tag, comes in and looks for the pop-up powerbomb. Ambrose counters into a hurricanrana. Owens recovers and hits a forearm, only to have Ambrose fall and rebound into the Lunatic Lariat. He looks for Dirty Deeds, but Owens quickly escapes to the floor. Ambrose then hits a suicide dive, but Sheamus grabs him from behind and sends him shoulder-first into the steps. Meanwhile Owens takes the top off the reassembled announce desk and slams it across Ambrose’s back, leading to the DQ.
WINNERS VIA DISQUALIFICATION: DEAN AMBROSE AND NEVILLE.
Owens continues to tear up the announce desk, then pulls the bottom half of the ring steps up to the desk. Owens and Sheamus then fight over who is going to put Ambrose through the table, and that allows Neville to wipe them both out with a somersault plancha. Ambrose rolls Owens back in and plants him with Dirty Deeds, then drags him into position for Neville’s Red Arrow. Neville then kicks Owens to the floor before he and Ambrose celebrate.
END OF SHOW.