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This week’s SmackDown opens up with the Shield on the big screen. Dean Ambrose says he’s sick of the Usos sticking their nose in the Shield’s business. They’ve beaten the Usos time and time again, and tonight, it’s no contest. Seth Rollins says they can beat any tag team on Earth, and the Usos are no exception. Ambrose says he and Rollins make sure justice gets served. Believe in the Shield.

MATCH 1: WWE United States Champion Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins (w/Roman Reigns) vs. The Usos (Jey and Jimmy)
Ambrose starts off with Jimmy. Jimmy applies a side headlock, and Ambrose turns it into a top wristlock, into a side headlock. He shoulders Jimmy off the ropes before running into a jumping clothesline. Jey tags in, and the Usos hit a double elbow drop for 2. Ambrose comes back with a jawbreaker and tags in Rollins, who runs right into a hip toss. Jey misses a splash in the corner, and Rollins stomps him down before foot-choking him. Rollins fires off some rights in the corner before stomping Jey down. He runs in for a splash, but gets backdropped to the floor. Ambrose tags himself in on the way down, and he’s met with a mule kick, followed by an uppercut. He comes back with a kneelift before knocking Jimmy off the apron. Jey is thrown to the outside, and as Reigns looks to attack him, Big E. Langston heads down to ringside to step between Jey and Reigns. Commercials.

Back from the break, Ambrose has Jey in a rear chinlock, combined with an armbar. Ambrose breaks the hold to hit a short-arm clothesline for 2. He follows up with a power-drive elbow for 2, then tags in Rollins, who hits a fist to the shoulder from the top rope for 2. Rollins attacks Jey in the corner, then sends him across the ring, hitting a running forearm to the face. Rollins mounts the middle rope, waits for Jey to get back to his feet and dives, only to get caught with a Samoan drop on the way down. Jey crawls under Rollins and tags in Jimmy. Ambrose tags in, gets two clotheslines, a superkick and a full-nelson bomb. He crawls to the corner, where Jimmy hits a running hip bump for 2. Jimmy ducks a shot, hits a spinning kick to the head and a jumping side kick for 2 as Rollins breaks it up. Jey comes in, misses a kick, but hits a spinebuster. They knock Reigns off the apron with a double mule kick to the gut. Jey dives over the top rope, wiping Reigns out on the floor. In the ring, Jimmy catches Ambrose coming off the middle rope with an uppercut. He goes up top, but Ambrose sees him coming. Jimmy lands on his feet and avoids a back body drop with a diving schoolboy for 3.

WINNERS: The Usos. After the match, Ambrose continues to attack Jimmy before Langston hits him with a standing avalanche. He goes for the Big Ending, but Reigns puts a stop to that. The Usos get back in the ring, and Reigns & Langston have a staredown until Ambrose and Rollins pull Reigns to the floor.

John Cena makes his way down to the ring in a rare SmackDown appearance. We see video of him beating Damien Sandow on Monday Night RAW, and then Cena tells us he’s excited. He’s been busy this week, coming back at HIAC to win the World Championship. The next night, he retained the title against Sandow. However, he’s more excited about what’s about to happen, because the World Champ is here. Having the belt means he and Friday nights are going to get really comfortable together. It’s a new day. He mocks the crowd for being too quiet, trying to get them to liven up. He’s putting every superstar on business, but the business card is the same: The World Heavyweight Champ is here. You want some, come get some.

The Real Americans’ music hits. Zeb Colter introduces himself to Cena, then congratulates him on winning the World title. More importantly, he wants to thank Cena beating Alberto Del Rio and getting him one step closer to sneaking back across the US/Mexican border. Unlike the people here in Tampa, who have no moral values whatsoever, and no moral compass to live by, Cena has a lot in common with the Real Americans. He is a real American hero, a real American patriot, and a real American legend, just like the Real Americans. So, they’d like to invite him to join their struggle, fight, agenda, and become an official Real American. And to show their respect, they do their catchphrase, inviting Cena to join them. Cena does the “You can’t see me” gesture, then says he sees three dumb people. Swagger now looks like Biff from Back to the Future, telling him to make like a tree and get out of here. Antonio Cesaro, he’s quite impressive, and everyone is talking about the giant swing. Cena can’t focus on anything but his giant nipples. He then makes a joke about Pizza Hut. Finally, there’s Zeb. There isn’t enough time on the show. He looks like Yosemite Sam had too many Zimas one night and stumbled into the soup kitchen with the cast of Duck Dynasty. Cena is joking, but does have a problem with what these guys say. Freedom of speech is right, but they are still full of Brittney Spears’ initials (his words). Cena tells them to look at real America, pointing at the crowd. This is the land of the free, home of the brave. People can say what they want, and that is the American way. Right now, the real American way is for these three to march out of Tampa, or there will be some repercussions.

Damien Sandow marches down to the ring (with slightly different theme music, BTW), and calls Cena a hypocrite. He doesn’t know the first thing about American values. In America, people make their opportunities, just like when he stabbed his best friend in the back and won MITB. Cena wouldn’t know anything about that. Since Cena has been in WWE, he’s been handed everything. Sandow is out here to tell Cena face-to-face that he is a false champion. Despite what anyone thinks, Sandow is still your uncrowned World Champion. One more thing, from this point on, Sandow’s sole purpose in life is to end the Cena era in WWE, and he will do that by any means necessary. You’re welcome. The trio surround Cena until Cody Rhodes and Goldust hit the ring, sending the heels to the outside.

Vickie Guerrero comes out and says as the GM, she will have order. Since these guys feel like fighting, all of them will face each other in a 6-man tag team.

MATCH 2: The Prime-Time Players (Titus O’Neil and Darren Young) vs. Luke Harper and Erick Rowan (w/Bray Wyatt)
Wyatt appears on the screen says he knows what plagues the sick, false heroes, and he has the cure in the palm of his hand. Ashes, ashes, we all fall down. When the lights come back on, Harper and Rowan are already in the ring. Rowam and Young start the match. Young hits some forearms before trying to corner whip him. Rowan reverses and sends Young sailing over the top rope. He slides outside and rolls Young back in the ring, takes off his mask, then begins assaulting Young in the corner. Harper tags himself in and sends Rowan in for an avalanche. Rowan then sends Young straight into a big boot by Harper. Harper hits a clothesline against the rope, then catapults Young into the middle rope. Rowan tags back in, and he hits a bodyslam before applying a neck vice. Young fights out and tries to dive for a tag, but Rowan catches him and throws him into the corner before knocking Titus off the apron. Rowan misses a splash in the corner, but Harper tags himself in and hits an elbow to Young’s back before applying a rear chinlock. Young manages to hit a weak enziguri and make the tag to Titus. Titus hits a couple of shoulderblocks and a big boot. Harper gets sent into the corner, where Titus hits an avalanche. He follows up with a powerslam for 2. Rowan comes in and receives a big boot. Young clotheslines him to the floor before Titus turns around and gets hit with a discus clothesline by Harper for 3.

WINNERS: Luke Harper and Erick Rowan. After the match, Bray Wyatt enters the ring. Young tries to interject, but immediately gets hit with Sister Abigail by Wyatt.

We get yet another oh-so-exciting installment of “MizTV”. His scheduled guest tonight was supposed to be Shawn Michaels. Unfortunately, HBK has left the building. Miz is not HBK, but he has something to say: had it not been for HBK, Randy Orton would not be WWE Champion. But, like it or not, Orton is the face of the company.

Randy Orton now makes his way out. He says he appreciates Miz’s view, but he’s wrong. At HIAC, with or without HBK, he proved he was better than Daniel Bryan. The reason HBK didn’t show is because Miz is irrelevant. No one cares about him or his show. A couple months ago, Orton beat the holy hell out of him in his hometown, and the WWE Universe cheered him. Now, it’s not up to him, but if it were, he’d have Miz join the unemployment line with the Big Show, who violated his restraining order on Monday as Orton celebrated his 11th WWE Championship. Show came down, violated the order and knocked Orton out. Because of that KO, the authority has banned Show from WWE for life. What do you think about that? How about you, Miz? How does that make you feel? Before Miz can answer, Orton RKOs him.

MATCH 3: The Bella Twins (Brie & Nikki) and Natalya vs. Alicia Fox, WWE Divas Champion AJ Lee and Tamina Snuka
Nikki and Fox start the match. Fox trips Nikki, then sends her into the corner before running into a back elbow. Nikki hits a running facebuster for 2, then sends Fox into the corner. Brie tags in as Nikki hits a monkey flip, then hits a clothesline off Nikki’s back for 2. Tamina makes a blind tag as Brie hits a hip toss. Tamina levels Brie with a clothesline, then hits a suplex before dropping a knee for 2. AJ tags in, hits a snapmare and applies a dragon sleeper. Brie fights out, but AJ quickly applies a guillotine. Brie manages to ram AJ into the corner, and Nattie tags in. She hits a clothesline, a snap suplex, a snapmare and a seated dropkick to the back. AJ comes back with a kick to the face before running into a discus clothesline for 2 as Fox breaks up the pin. Nikki Bella sends her to the floor, and Tamina sends Nikki flying before Nattie does the same to Tamina. In the ring, AJ rolls Nattie up for 2. Outside, the Bellas hit a double clothesline on Tamina, and back in the ring, AJ taps out to a Sharpshooter by Nattie.

WINNERS: The Bella Twins and Natalya.

We get a sit-down interview with Michael Cole and Triple H, regarding the Big Show’s current lawsuit with WWE. Cole goes over the details with Trips, and Trips calls the lawsuit frivolous. If Cole wants breaking news, as of this moment Show is banned from WWE for life.

MATCH 4: World Champion John Cena, and WWE Tag Team Champions Goldust & Cody Rhodes vs. The Real Americans (Antonio Cesaro & Jack Swagger) and Damien Sandow (w/Zeb Colter)
Cesaro and Rhodes start with a lock-up. Rhodes applies a side headlock and shoulders Cesaro off the ropes before hitting a hiptoss for 1. Goldust tags in, and he hits a snapmare, followed by an elbow drop for 1. Rhodes tags back in, and hits a high knee for 2 as Swagger breaks it up. All six men begin brawling in the ring, with the heels getting sent to the floor. Commercials.

Back from the break, Cena and Sandow are in the ring, and Sandow is in control with an armbar. He hits an armbar takedown and goes for the pin, getting 2. Cesaro tags in, and he applies a top wristlock. Cena powers out, and the two trade various strikes. Cena ducks a clothesline and hits a hurricanrana. Swagger tags in, as does Goldust. Goldust hits a clothesline off the ropes. He follows up with another clothesline, an inverted atomic drop, and a bulldog. He backbdrops Swagger to the outside, onto Swagger’s teammates. Goldust follows out, knocking Sandow down with a right. He rolls Swagger back in, and Swagger comes back with a chopblock. He drags Goldust to the heel corner, where Cesaro tags in. He stomps Goldust down, then rams his hip into Goldust’s face, knocking him to the outside. On the floor, Swagger hits a running clothesline before rolling Goldust into the ring. He is somehow legal now (I may have missed the tag), and he tags in Sandow, who rams Goldust into the buckles. He hits a series of kneelifts, then clubs Goldust across the back before foot-choking him across the bottom rope. Sandow goes for the pin, getting 2. Swagger tags back in, and he stomps Goldust down. He applies a front chancery now, and Goldust tries to back him into his corner to make a tag. Swagger shoves him back into the ropes, and Goldust comes back with a right before getting clotheslined. Cesaro tags in, and he stomps Goldust before a rear chinlock. Goldust gets back to his feet and rolls Cesaro off of him. However, Cesaro quickly leaps over Goldust and hits a deadlift gutwrench suplex for 2. Swagger back in, and he throws Goldust to the corner as we go to commercials.

Back from the break, Cesaro is legal once again, and he hits a suplex on Goldust for 2. He applies a rear chinlock once more, taking Goldust down to the mat. Goldust tries to fight his way out, so Cesaro turns the hold into a front chancery. He makes the tag to Cena, but the referee doesn’t see it, and Cesaro immediately backs Goldust to the heel corner. Swagger comes in as the ref is distracted and begins stomping Goldust down, then leaves before the ref turns around. Swagger tags in, picks Goldust up and hits a bodyslam. He connects with a Swagger Bomb, and Cesaro tags in, hitting the leapfrog double stomp for 2. Goldust comes back with a DDT off the ropes. Sandow tags in and nails Goldust with some rights before hitting a jumping knee for 2. He applies a rear chinlock, but Goldust fights out. Sandow clubs him and sends him into the buckles, where Goldust connects with a springboard back elbow. Goldust leaps for a tag, but Sandow catches him and shoves him into the ropes. Goldust comes back with his signature uppercut, knocks Cesaro off the apron, crawls under Sandow’s legs and goes for a tag. Sandow grabs his foot and drags him back before knocking Cena off the apron. He turns around and runs right into a powerslam by Goldust. Goldust crawls to his corner and tags in Rhodes, who nails a springboard dropkick on Sandow. He knocks an incoming Swagger out of the ring and to the floor. Sandow gets nailed, and Rhodes hits a sunset flip out of the corner for 2. Rhodes hits the Goldust Uppercut now, then follows up with a moonsault for 2. Rhodes sets up the Holly Kick, then calls for Cross Rhodes. Sandow snapmares out of it and hits a boot off the ropes. Cesaro makes a blind tag, and Rhodes hits the Cross Rhodes. Cesaro comes in and grabs Rhodes by the legs and goes for the Cesaro Swing, circling 24 times before the camera cuts away to Cena clotheslining Swagger on the floor. Back in the ring, Cesaro gets a couple more swings in on Rhodes before going for the pin, getting 2 when Goldust breaks it up. Sandow tries to knock Goldust down, but Goldust clotheslines him to the floor, the momentum carrying him over as well. Cesaro looks for a tag, but both of his partners are out. Rhodes tags out to Cena, who loads the spaceship with the rocket fuel before hitting the Proto-Bomb. The Five-Knuckle Shuffle follows suit, He goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Cesaro counters into a deadlift gutwrench suplex. Cesaro calls for the Cesaro Swing once more, but Cena counters into the STF. Cesaro kicks him away and nails a vicious, Very European Uppercut. Rhodes comes in with the Disaster Kick on Cesaro, and Sandow follows up with a full-nelson slam on Rhodes, which seems to be his new finisher (and is apparently called “You’re Welcome”). Goldust hits a bulldog on Sandow, and Swagger tags himself in. He hits an elevated belly-to-belly suplex on Goldust. Swagger looks for the Patriot Lock on Cena. Cena manages to roll through after a moment, and Swagger runs right into the Attitude Adjustment for 3.

WINNERS: John Cena, Goldust and Cody Rhodes.

End of show.

Dustin Nichols is a freelance writer, and you can keep track of all of his work on his Facebook page, which can be found at www.facebook.com/DustinNicholsWriter. Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out his mom’s official site by clicking the banner below: