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WWE Slammy Awards 2013 Are Not For Prime Time Television

The WWE’s final pay-per-view is only six days away and guess what? The company destroys any momentum the less than thrilling event has by throwing the Slammy Awards at us tonight on Monday Night Raw.

Excuse me why I chuckle for a moment. Nothing surprises me anymore. I am kind of empty inside when it comes to the logical thinking of this company. The last pay-per-view of the year, the possibility of John Cena turning heel, the potential return of Paul Heyman or Brock Lesnar or some other WWE superstar and we get an awards night.

What was I thinking?

This could be a very stale night for WWE television – one that ranks with the best of Hee Haw and Alf, and unless we see something clear out of the Dukes of Hazard or Night Rider, then the pay-per-view which should leap frog us through some cold weather, awful egg nog and another fruit cake will be a dud and one we gripe and moan about for the next four weeks.

I have the solution to everyone’s misery …

PAUL HEYMAN!

Why doesn’t the WWE bring him back tonight, let him pontificate about everything that he is right about in the WWE and how he is the masterful soul that keeps the company moving (which he is on screen)? Nothing would be better than seeing a rejuvenated Heyman out on the ramp, walking toward the ring, with JBL waxing profound on how great he is and how shocked Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole are that the man who took a “brutal beating from CM Punk” was able to rise from the ashes and make a triumphant return to the WWE in time for the last show of the year.

I don’t know who comes up with this stuff, but it sounds pretty good to me (yes, people, that was sarcasm).

The only other thing I can think of that could save this event (which is hosted by Shawn Michaels) is a confrontation between Michaels and Daniel Bryan or a cameo from none other than Hulk Hogan, much like Ric Flair last year. It leads to a spot with Hogan and Cena on stage together and leads us to write millions of articles of how the two should meet at WrestleMania XXX.

Please, God, I hope not – but in case you were wondering, I am already writing my script on how that one ends as well with Hulk saving the day much like Sting when Hogan reinvented himself as a good guy on TNA. Pretty boring stuff, huh?

The end of the year is supposed to be a culmination of many things. Title reigns being honored, new champions being found (the next being Damien Sandow) and the chance to make us want to see a bigger, better product with new matches, new feuds and new villains and heroes.

I think we will get some of that this month with the pay-per-view – with Heyman coming out to join forces with either The Wyatt Family, The Shield or both. It seems everything in the WWE comes full circle when we talk about Heyman and his brilliance. I only wish there was a way to clone his mind. If we look at it with full vision, Heyman is – more than Bobby Heenan or Gary Hart – the new version of Mr. McMahon – which I think is “great for business.”

Over the years we have been left wondering what happens in this company come the end of December and then the WWE amps up the coverage a bit come January 1, with the promotion of the Royal Rumble and the Road to WrestleMania. This year, I do not see that happening unless Sheamus is Heyman’s new pet project.

But first, we have to get the great mind of the screen. Then we can watch things really take off.

Follow David on Twitter @davidlevin71

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