Tonight, David Otunga, who is now apparently the lawyer for Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez, will address the legal action they plan to take against Sheamus for Brogue Kicking Ricardo on Monday Night RAW.
We see the three gentlemen leave Booker T’s office as the show goes to the awful Green Day opening.
And now the three of them are making their way out to the ring. Ricardo has a neck brace on. I didn’t think Otunga could get more ridiculous-looking. That was until he shaved off the goatee. Somehow, he actually looks worse without that stupid pencil mustache/beard combo. ADR says he’s on the greatest roll of his career. Two weeks ago, he made Randy Orton tap out. Last week, he defeated Kane. Last Monday, in a Falls-Count-Anywhere Match, he destroyed John Cena. In two weeks, he will face Sheamus for the title at Night of Champions. To be honest, though, he’s not completely happy. At this moment, Sheamus has an advantage in that match. He can use something more dangerous than a steel chair, something so dangerous that it should be illegal, and that is the Brogue Kick. The move should be banned. Kicking someone in the head is a criminal act. This man right here (Ricardo) is not only his personal ring announcer, but he is ADR’s only friend. And now, he may have permanent physical and moral damage. There are hundreds who have suffered the same. The cross-armbreaker is pure and artistic, like poetry. The Brogue Kick is a travesty and a criminal act. David Otunga now takes the mic, because things were going so well in the first place. He reminds us he went to college, then says he was hired because what happened was no accident. Sheamus had the intent to commit bodily harm on an innocent person. We then get a video package of Sheamus dropping damn near everyone with the kick. I like the kick personally and I gotta admit, this package actually makes it look even better. Back to Otunga. He says that, if WWE continues the Brogue Kick to be allowed, there will be problems. The three just spoke to Booker T, and they demand justice. By making the Brogue Kick illegal, they will send a message…
Up next, Sin Cara and Rey Mysterio take on The Miz and Cody Rhodes.
We see a video package for Alberto Del Rio.
MATCH 1: Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara vs. Cody Rhodes and Intercontinental Champion The Miz
I hear Rey and Cara are possibly going to team until before Wrestlemania, then split up and have a match at the big PPV. As long as Rey’s not main eventing, that’s fine. I just don’t want him anywhere near the WWE or World titles. Miz and Rey start with a tie-up. Miz backs Rey to the corner, where he lands a boot and some forearms. Left hand knocks Rey down. Rey backflips off a back suplex and kicks Miz in the thigh twice before tagging in Cara. Snapmare by Rey, and the faces follow up with a pair of kicks to the chest and back for 2. Commercials.
We now see a video package for Sin Cara. Not sure what’s up with these tonight.
Back from the break, Cara is in control of Rhodes, nailing several kicks. He goes up top and hits a twisting armdrag. Rey tags in, and Cara picks him into a tilt-a-whirl, which Rey turns into a headscissors on Rhodes, sending him to the middle rope. Rey signals for the 619, but Miz pulls Rhodes to the floor. Rey misses a baseball slide, allowing Rhodes to forearm him from behind. Back in the ring, Rhodes hits a snapmare and running knee for 2. Armbar is applied now, before he shoves Rey to the corner. Rey gets the boot up on the charge, then hits a drop toehold into the middle turnbuckle. Cara tags in and hits a springboard plancha. He follows up with a handspring back elbow and a running hurricanrana. Cara nails a kick out of the corner and goes for a springboard, but Miz yells for Rhodes to duck, who does just that. Cara rolls through the move, running right into a boot. Cara lands a boot of his own and goes for a sunset flip, but can’t pull Rhodes down. Rhodes tags in Miz as Cara is finally successful, allowing Miz to come in and boot him from behind. Stomps by the IC Champion now, and he gets Cara to the corner, where he pounds away. Miz nails the hanging clothesline in the corner, and follows up with a double axe handle off the top for 2. Rhodes tags in and hits a standing gourdbuster for 2. He locks in a cravat after that, and Cara counters into a version of the Asai DDT. Miz and Rey tag in, and Rey comes off the top with a cannonball. Rey nails a kick to the head, a dropkick to the knee and a Buzzsaw for 2. Rey nails a mule kick by the ropes and goes for a headscissors, but Miz shoves him off to the apron. Rey blocks an attack by Miz and goes for a sunset flip, but Miz rolls through and lands a boot to the face for 2. Rey goes for a bodyscissors off the ropes, and Miz counters into a full nelson. Rey counters that into a victory roll, and Miz counters that into a pin of his own. Just as Rey was going for the pin, Rhodes came charging in, and wound up nailing Miz with a boot to the face when they switched position. Nice little sequence there. Cara takes Rhodes out with a springboard dropkick, sending Rhodes to the floor. Cara levels him with a corkscrew plancha. Back in the ring, Mysterio hits the 619 and the falling splash from the top rope for the 3.
WINNERS: Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara.
Daniel Bryan is walking around in the back. Hornswoggle stops him and asks him to hug it out. Bryan shakes his hand, and Hornswoggle stomps him on the foot. A Slappy Squirrel catchphrase immediately comes to mind here.
Back in Booker T’s office, David Otunga is laying into him for basing his decision-making on the WWE Universe’s reactions. Otunga asks if he wants to be a GM who puts his stars at risk every night, or one who takes a stand. Book cuts him off and says he gets it. Otunga asks if the Brogue Kick is now going to be illegal, and Book says he’ll think about it. Otunga says that isn’t good enough, and asks Book to meet him in the training room.
This Kane/Daniel Bryan sh*t is hilarious. Just saying.
Bryan now makes his way out to the ring, doing his best “Serenity Now!” impression.
Speaking of Bryan, we get a video for him now, but this one is a “Don’t Try This” message.
MATCH 2: Daniel Bryan vs. Zack Ryder
Bryan starts off with a hammerlock, and Ryder counters into a schoolboy for 1. Bryan snaps and lays Ryder out with the No! Kicks, followed by some stomps. Kitchen sink off the ropes, followed by some more No! Kicks to the chest, and finally a running kick off the ropes that turns Ryder inside-out for 2. Bryan tries to calm himself at this point. Ryder comes back with a facebuster off the ropes, followed by a discus clothesline. He gets the knees up in the corner as Bryan comes in, sending Bryan to the adjacent corner and setting up the Broski Boot in the process, which connects. Ryder signals for the Rough Ryder, but Bryan tells him to stop, saying he’s sorry and asking for a hug. The two hug, and Bryan quickly turns the hug into the No! Lock, getting the immediate tap-out.
WINNER: Zack Ryder. Bryan refuses to let the hold go after the match, causing the referee to overturn the decision. So, your winner is now Zack Ryder. Bryan then snaps in the ring as crowd chants “Yes!” at him.
Randy Orton is in action next, but first, a Randy Orton video package. Seriously, what is up with these videos tonight?
As Damien Sandow makes his way out for the next match, he tells the crowd he knows there is a match scheduled, but he feels it is imperative he get something off his chest. Last week, he lost a match-via count-out, mind you-to Sheamus. He sees this as nothing more than karmic justice. Booker T put him in a match he was not prepared for. He needs proper time to assess his opponent, seek out his weaknesses, and exploit them, which is the reason he has yet to be pinned, thank you. He knows us, the unwashed masses, have a hard time comprehending this, but allow him to make the following statement: he was disgusted and appalled at the response in the annals of social media. He saw tweets and touts that called him a coward. He assures you this-his actions were intelligent, not craven. The anonymous people that send their feelings via social media are the real cowards, and he assures us that none of us have the gumption to call him “craven” to his face. He cannot comprehend the fascination of the WWE with social media. Instead of tweeting, how about reading? When Albert Einstein discovered the theory of relatively, he assures us Einstein did not Tout about it.
Orton then cuts off the speech by making his way out. Sandow asks him what he could possibly add to this discussion. Orton introduces himself and says he’s not here to add to the discussion. He’s here to fight. He told Booker T his original opponent could wait, as Orton wants to fight Sandow. Sandow says this isn’t right. Booker T can’t just go around switching opponents. Orton says he can, and did.
MATCH 3: Damien Sandow vs. Randy Orton
Well, until Orton came out and muddled things up with his mere presence, that was a great promo. Before the action starts, Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler make their way out for color commentary. Tie-up to start, and Orton goes into a side headlock, right into the hip throw. Sandow counters with a headscissors before going into his own headlock. Orton switches with the help of a hair pull. He knocks Sandow down off the ropes with a shoulder, but Sandow rolls to the floor before Orton can capitalize. The two go back into a tie-up, and are now jockeying for position. When was the last time you heard that phrase uttered? Orton backs Sandow into the corner, and as the ref is trying to break it up, Sandow nails Orton with a cheap shot. Sandow lays in some shoulder thrusts in the adjacent corner. Orton counters a corner whip, but Sandow slides to the floor instead of going into the turnbuckles. Back in the ring, Orton lays in some shots, hits a back elbow off the ropes, and begins the Garvin Stomp. Orton hits a European uppercut and looks for the 3.0, but Sandow escapes and heads to the floor once again. I love this chickensh*t aspect of Sandow’s gimmick. He does it so well. Orton heads out as well and drops Sandow with a clothesline. He slams Sandow’s head into the apron a couple times, as well as the announce desk. Orton looks for what I would guess is a suplex on the floor, but Ziggler jumps on the table and begins yelling at him. Sandow takes the distraction as a chance to ram Orton back-first into the ring post. Sandow picks Orton up and throws him face-first into the post. Back in the ring, a pin attempt gets 2. Commercials.
Video package for Dolph Ziggler. I’m already tired of these, which makes me think this trend will continue for at least the next few weeks.
Back from the break, Sandow hits a snapmare and a knee to the back, following up with a rear chinlock. Orton gets back up, but is immediately taken down with a side-Russian leg sweep. Sandow follows up with the Elbow of Disdain for 2. Sandow pulls the knee pad down for a kneedrop, but Orton moves away at the last second. Sandow tries to charge in on Orton in the corner, but Orton moves out of the way and hits his Four Moves of Boredom. Orton signals for the RKO, but Sandow jumps out of the ring and charges to the back, giving Orton the count-out win.
WINNER VIA COUNT-OUT: Randy Orton. After the match, Orton stops Ziggler from leaving. He blocks a punch and hits one of his own before throwing Ziggler in the ring. There, Ziggler cuts him off with some stomps, but runs into a powerslam, Orton signals for the RKO, but before he can hit it, Sandow races back out. Orton nails the RKO on him instead, allowing Ziggler to head for the hills. Just as typed that, Josh Mathews said, “…head for the hills”. Coincidence? Absolutely.
We’re now in the training room, and David Otunga is showing Booker T some x-rays of a normal person’s spine compared to Ricardo Rodriguez’s, proving that the damage of the Brogue Kick is dangerous and needs to be banned. Otunga threatens legal action if Booker T doesn’t ban the move. Book tells Otunga that he isn’t going to demand anything, as Book is the one running this show. Book says he’s going to think about it, and Otunga needs to get his gear, because he’s demanding Otunga face Sheamus in a match.
Kofi Kingston video.
The WWE Tag Team Champions, the aforementioned Kingston and R-Truth make their way out for commentary during this next match.
MATCH 4-Triple Threat Tag Team Match to determine new #1 contenders for the WWE Tag Team titles: Epico & Primo (w/Rosa Mendes) vs. The Prime-Time Players (Titus O’Neil & Darren Young) vs. The Usos (Jey & Jimmy)
This is under triple threat rules, so each team will have a legal man at all times. I hate matches like this. Young nails Primo with a shot, then lays boots to an Uso. Primo hits the Backstabber on Young, and now Primo and an Uso are taking turns trying to pin him, pulling the other off each time. Primo stomps Uso down, then tags in Epico, who does the same. Epico nails a dropkick on Uso for one, then hits a dropkick to the gut on Young. Back suplex for Uso. Epico rolls through, hitting two more. Meanwhile, Young tags in Titus, who nails Epico with a big boot. Backbreaker for the Uso, which Josh tells me is Jey. I love how Michael Cole is trying to convince fans that Titus weighs 300 pounds. Titus picks Epico up and hits him with a spinning drop. Young tags in and they hit the double-team gourdbuster on Jey, who counters by getting his knees up. Epico takes Jey out with a dropkick and tries to tag in Primo, but Young cuts him off with a northern lights suplex for 2. Epico ducks a clothesline and hits a nice tornado DDT. He gets up just as Jey gets back in the ring, and they take each other down with simultaneous clotheslines. Jimmy tags in and takes both Epico and Young down with a double clothesline. He sends Titus to the floor, drops Epico with a mule kick and a palm thrust, then hits Young with a full-nelson bomb. Primo tags in, and Jimmy sends him into the corner before nailing Young in the opposite corner with a hip bump. Primo gets back up and eats a superkick, sending him to the floor. Titus charges, and Jimmy low bridges him to the floor as well. Epico then gets backdropped to the floor, on top of Primo and Titus. Back in the ring, Jimmy hits the Alley-Us on Young before tagging in Jey. Jimmy takes Titus and Epico out down on the floor with a suicide dive as Jey mounts the top rope. Primo crotches him, and tries for a superplex. Young comes in from under and nails Primo with Forever Young while Jey is still on the turnbuckles. Jey hits the Samoan Splash on Primo, but before the ref can count 3, Young throws Jey off and takes the pin himself, getting the 3.
WINNERS AND NEW #1 CONTENDERS: The Prime-Time Players. I’m not big on tag team triple threats, but this was a pretty fun match.
We see Teddy Long and Kaitlyn in the back, just outside the GM’s office. Long says Otunga is suing him, too. Kaitlyn calls Otunga an ambulance chaser. Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero walk up, and Ziggler demands to see Booker T so he can get another match against Orton, at Night of Champions. Long says he will advise Book to make that match, and he’s sure Book won’t have any problem making it. Ziggler says, by that point, he may already be champion. Vickie then makes some remark about Long getting sued.
Wade Barrett returns next. Yes! Another Festivus miracle!
MATCH 5: Yoshi Tatsu vs. Wade Barrett
Unfortunately, Barrett still has awful music. However, he does have some fantastic new facial hair and an old-style tee shirt to match his new gimmick, which meets my approval. Tatsu avoids a couple punches and goes into a waistlock. Barrett backs him into the corner and delivers some vicious elbows. He ties Tatsu up in the ropes, hits a pair of knee lifts and a running boot that sends Tatsu to down to the apron. Barrett drags him into the ring for 2. He pulls Tatsu up by the hair and begins laying in some punches to the kidneys while still holding onto the hair before dropping Tatsu with a headbutt. Tatsu comes back with some kicks from the mat, but misses the roundhouse, allowing Barrett to drop him to his knees with a mule kick to the gut. Barrett grabs Tatsu with what appears to be a straightjacket, but then spins him around short-arm clothesline style, but nails a forearm to the head instead. Guess that’s his new finisher, as Barrett easily gets the 3.
Alberto Del Rio makes his way out for the next match.
MATCH 6: David Otunga (w/Alberto Del Rio) vs. World Champion Sheamus (non-title)
I could be mistaken, but Otunga appears to have had his sissy-ass tattoos removed. Sheamus backs Otunga to a corner, giving him a clean break. Otunga fires back with a kick and some punches before shouldering Sheamus into the opposite corner. Sheamus comes back with a pair of knees and blocks a hip toss with a clothesline. Otunga ducks a Brogue Kick, sending Sheamus to the apron. However, Sheamus recovers and ties Otunga up for the forearms to the chest. Otunga counters with a back elbow and kicks Sheamus in the knee, sending him to the floor. Back in the ring, Otunga gets 1. Otunga hits some punches in the corner and a running clothesline. Shoulder tackle puts Sheamus down for 1. Rear chinlock is applied, but Sheamus is quickly back up, nailing a pair of Irish Hammers. Shoulder thrust in the corner, followed by a running knee that puts Otunga down and to the apron. Sheamus hits the tied-up forearms this time, getting in ten. He pulls Otunga back in and hits White Noise. Sheamus calls for the Brogue Kick, but before he can connect, Booker T comes out and tells him to hold on. He’s sorry to interrupt, but due to evidence that was presented to him, Sheamus, he has no choice to ban the Brogue Kick. ADR is laughing on the outside. Otunga manages to nail a forearm, but runs right into the Irish Curse. Sheamus then locks in a Texas clover leaf and gets the tap-out victory.
WINNER: Sheamus, who adds another finisher to his move set. Going with a submission hold was not a bad way to go, either, especially one that doesn’t get used too often anymore. He applied it pretty well, too, so I’m okay with this.
End of show.
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