Tonight, we begin WWE Friday Night SmackDown!’s build towards Summerslam next month, with Money in the Bank taking place last weekend. In case you didn’t watch it, you missed a damn good show, and yet another installment in WWE’s trend in 2012 of making enjoyable PPVs. Crazy concept, I know, but it does work. If nothing else, you should at least watch Punk/Bryan, who tore the roof off the place with an unbelievable match. The 8-man ladder match opened the show, and was incredibly good as well. That’s 2 years in a row where the SmackDown! ladder match proves to be the superior. The RAW one wasn’t bad by any means, but it was just far too predictable for my tastes. Still, a very enjoyable PPV overall.
We open with the return of Rey Mysterio, giving me a very disappointing start to the show. I have a feeling he’s going to cut some promo that sounds something like, “Blah, blah, blah, 6-1-9!” He says he it’s been nearly a year since he was injured, in this very arena. But, he never lost hope during that time, and it feels good to be back with all of his friends and family here in is home town, and he is officially back. He couldn’t wait, because there’s someone here he has unfinished business.
[adinserter block=”2″]That someone interrupts the festivities. It’s Alberto Del Rio, along with Ricardo Rodriguez. ADR calls Mysterio a Chihuahua, and you should never pick a fight with ADR. He is the one who took him out a year ago and nearly ended his career. He could finish the job right now, but he’s going to give Mysterio another chance. Rey, leave the ring right now. While Mysterio was gone, ADR won everything, and he’s had enough of Mysterio. He’d rather talk about Sheamus. Mysterio says Sheamus beats ADR’s face in. ADR accuses him of not learning anything. The good news is, the return will be short, and lucky for him, the man who will end the return will be ADR.
Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero make their way out now. He tells Mysterio he can’t take any comfort in that, because if his career will be ruined by the next World Champion, it will be Ziggler’s doing. However, he’s not out here for Mysterio; he’s out here for ADR. He beat 7 other guys at MITB to earn his briefcase, and he was going to cash in on Sheamus on Sunday. He would be champ right now if it wasn’t for ADR interfering. ADR doesn’t work for Ziggler, and he’s not doing the dirty work so Ziggler can take what is rightfully his. In fact, he wanted, Ziggler and burrow (Vicki) could be working for him right now. Mysterio tells them both to shut up and fight if they’ve got beef. Ziggler agrees with that idea, but just not with each other. Both men then turn their attention to Mysterio, but Sheamus makes his way out before anything further can happen. Sheamus shakes Mysterio’s hand before telling him it’s so good to see him. As for the other two, let him put it this way: you take one more step, he’s going to shove the briefcase up inside them, then throw them off into the Pacific Ocean, or something to that effect. Sheamus says we should do this right now, and ADR sneaks out the back door. Sheamus knocks Ziggler down, but Ziggler manages to escape the ring before the 619 connects.
Later tonight on The Peep Show, AJ and Daniel Bryan will discuss their wedding plans for Monday night.
Did You Know? The Eiffel Tower was built solely to be a part of the 1889 World’s Fair, and was scheduled to be torn down in 1909 when its 20-year contract expired, and was also painted completely orange. However, the tower was saved when the builder, Gustave Eiffel, had the idea that it could be used as an ideal radio tower. 5 years later, during World War I, it was used exactly for that reason, jamming German radio communications in the process.
MATCH 1-8-Man Tag Team Match: Camacho, Hunico and The Prime-Time Players (Titus O’Neil and Darren Young, w/AW) vs. Epico, Primo, and WWE Tag Team Champions Kofi Kingston & R-Truth (w/Rosa Mendes)
Hunico starts off with Epico, and they trade several moves before Epico lands an armdrag. Hunico gets back up and chops Epico before shouldering him down. Criss-cross ends with a trip by Hunico. Epico comes back with a hurricanrana and another deep armdrag into an armbar. Primo tags in and hits a dropkick for 2. Hunico nails a gut shot before tagging in Camacho, who runs right into a hip toss for 2. Primo holds onto the arm and turns the move into an armbar. Camacho gets back to his feet, backs Primo into the corner and nails some shoulder thrusts and punches. He misses a corner charge, and Primo rolls him up for 2 before going into a side headlock. R-Truth makes the blind tag off the ropes and punches Camacho in the face before hitting a dancing legdrop for 2. Camacho powers Truth into his corner, but Truth rolls away before he can get quadruple teamed. Both teams hit the ring and brawl for a moment before we go to commercials.
Back from the break, the tag champs double-team Camacho with an avalanche whip. Kingston hits the Boom Drop and sets up for Trouble in Paradise, but Hunico trips him up, allowing Camacho to nail a spinebuster for 2. Camacho gets him into the heel corner, where he stomps away. Hunico tags in and hits a tope con hilo for 2. O’Neil tags in, picks Kingston up for a slam, and instead just drops him. Kingston tries to fight back to his feet, but O’Neil cuts him off with a bodyslam for 2. Abdominal stretch time, which O’Neil decides to release after some shots to the chest. Young tags in, but Kingston kicks him away and low bridges O’Neil. Primo tags in, hits a spinning back elbow, a sweep, a legdrop and an elbow drop. Back to his feet, Primo throws Young to the corner for a chop, followed by a somersault plancha from the top. Primo knocks Young down with a boot shot in the corner, but gets distracted by AW. O’Neil pushes Primo off right into Forever Young for the 3.
WINNERS: Camacho, Hunico and The Prime-Time Players. After the match, Big Show hits the ring. He nails Truth, but Kingston hits him with Trouble in Paradise. PTP double-team him on the floor as Show begins taking out everyone else left in the ring. WMD for Truth, and a double chokeslam for Hunico & Camacho. He then stands on Primo’s lower back before knocking him out with the WMD as well. Show calls for a microphone, simply asking the crowd, “And? What?” before leaving.
RAW moment time. Jeremy Piven relives guest-hosting the show and being injured by John Cena.
MATCH 2: Damien Sandow vs. Zack Ryder
Before the match can start, Sandow cuts Ryder’s music, telling the crowd they are embarrassing themselves by supporting this brainless broski. Before he can finish, Ryder tackles him and lays in some punches. The referee pulls them apart and starts the match. Ryder hits a running forearm, but Sandow takes him down with a kick to the knee and a foot chocke. Sandow lays in the stomps, a jumping knee bomb and a knee choke. Sandow drags him to the ring apron then slides to the floor, dropping a pair of elbow across the neck. Back in the ring, Sandow stomps away some more before hitting some vicious knee lifts to the midsection. Sandow hits the straightjacket neckbreaker and gets the 3.
WINNER: Damien Sandow. I see an IC title run in the near future for this man.
Speaking of the Intercontinental Championship, the current champion Christian and The Peep Show are up next.
The Peep Show starts, and Christian says he’s seen a lot of strange things happen in his long WWE career. This past Monday, bizarre was taken to a whole new level, when he saw (AJ accept Daniel Bryan’s wedding proposal). His guests will be getting married on Monday night for RAW 1000, please welcome AJ and Daniel Bryan. The happy couple make their way out. Michael Cole says AJ’s ring cost $20,000. I’d bet it’s one of those $20 ones they show on late night commercials during Married…With Children reruns on TBS. You know the one. Christian starts the interview by asking about the wedding planning. Bryan says it’s going well, and AJ says they have a clip. We see them doing the obligatory wedding planning activities, like picking out flowers and cake, all set to stereotypical wedding music. Christian calls the video “special”. He wants to know if Bryan is sure he’s doing the right thing? Yes. And AJ, you’ve completely forgiven Daniel for everything he’s done? Yes. So, this is true love? (Simultaneously) Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Christian now has some questions for the Peeps. Do they think AJ and Bryan should get married? No. Do you think Bryan really loves AJ? No. Do you think AJ has any idea what she’s really doing? No. Christian then asks AJ herself that same question. She responds by slapping him. The couple start to leave, but Christian stops them. He’s married, so he’ll let the slap go. Bryan’s been so busy prepping for the wedding, he doesn’t realize he has a match tonight. And, before Bryan goes any further with AJ, he should maybe check into her past, maybe for a psychotic ex-boyfriend. A psychotic ex-boyfriend that Bryan will be facing right now. Kane’s music hits, and we have our match after the break. Only problem is Kane and AJ never actually truly dated on TV.
MATCH 3: Daniel Bryan (w/AJ) vs. Kane
Match starts after the break, and Bryan goes right for the Yes! Kicks to the legs. Kane cuts him off with a knee and a punch. Bryan ducks a boot, but gets nailed with it the second time for 2. Kane goes locks him in a bodyscissors with a rear chinlock for good measure. Bryan breaks the hold with elbow strikes to the knee, then stomps Kane in the midsection. Kane catches him off the ropes with a backbreaker, then turns it into a submission hold. Bryan breaks free with knees to the head, but Kane continues the assault with some corner stomps. Bryan boots off a corner charge, but walks right into a boot. He backflips off a second corner whip attempt and dropkicks Kane in the knee. Yes! Kicks to the chest, but Kane ducks a Buzzsaw and goes for the chokeslam. Bryan breaks free, sends Kane to the corner and nails a running dropkick. Buzzsaw connects this time, but it’s only good for 2. Bryan up top now, and he’s met with an uppercut for 2. Kane sends Bryan into the corner again and catches him with a sidewalk slam for 2. Kane’s turn to go up top. Bryan blocks the clothesline attempt with the Yes! Lock, but is having a hard time powering Kane down. Kane manages to throw him off before it’s cinched in, but Bryan low bridges Kane, sending him to the floor. Kane lands a shot on Bryan, who was checking on AJ after she accidentally got knocked down. Kane then throws Bryan into the steps, the barricade and the announce desk before sending him back into the ring. Kane signals for the chokeslam, but AJ jumps off the top rope on his back, causing the DQ.
WINNER VIA DISQUALIFICATION: Kane. AJ continues to hold on, raking at his eyes. Kane manages to chokeslam Bryan with her on his back, but she continues to rake at the eyes. He eventually spins her around to face him, and AJ just stares into Kane’s eyes for a minute before letting go. She then gives him her confused, tilted-head look before Bryan drags her to the floor and walks with her to the back, but not before a make-out session on the stage.
Another RAW moment, and it’s Zack Ryder. He talks about the old GTV segment. Fun fact: the man behind these videos was, at one point, supposed to be “Vicious” Vic Grimes. Much like “Who was driving the Hummer?”, the identity of the man or woman behind this one was never revealed.
As Heath Slater waits for his opponent, we get a replay of his RAW moment, which is a collection of him being humiliated by legends. I hear this angle is supposed to have some kind of big payoff this Monday night. Slater says all of this happened to him on RAW, but now he’s on SmackDown!, baby. His luck is about to change, because he says it’s going to. The LOD music hits, and Road Warrior Animal makes his way out.
MATCH 4: Heath Slater vs. Road Warrior Animal
Animal has noticeably added more ink, and he appears to have trimmed down a bit as well. Animal immediately takes Slater down with a clothesline, then begins stomping away at Slater in the corner. Slater fights back with punches, kicks and elbow strikes. Animal counters with a powerslam off the ropes and a jumping elbow drop gets 3.
WINNER: Road Warrior Animal.
In the words of my colleague Justin Henry, f*ck Tout. Seriously.
We see Vickie Guerrero and Ricardo Rodriguez arguing in the back about what happened earlier tonight. Rodriguez calls Vickie jealous. She screams in his face. Then does it again. Then again. Was this really necessary?
MATCH 5: Alberto Del Rio and Dolph Ziggler (w/Ricardo Rodriguez and Vickie Guerrero) vs. World Champion Sheamus and Rey Mysterio
Sheamus and Ziggler start things off. Ziggler goes into a waistlock, and Sheamus manages to shrug him off. Sheamus nails a hip throw into a side headlock. Ziggler throws him off, and Sheamus nails a shoulder. Criss-cross ends in a Ziggler dropkick. Sheamus fights back and goes for a fireman’s carry, but Ziggler escapes and kicks him in the knee. Sheamus manages to catch him again, and hits the rolling fireman’s carry slam for 2. Mysterio tags in and hits a legdrop for 2. Ziggler throws him to a corner, and Mysterio gets the boot up. Off the ropes, Mysterio runs right into a clothesline for 2. ADR tags in and nails a running kick to the ribs for another 2. Mysterio kicks ADR in the head and tags in Sheamus, but ADR quickly tags out to Ziggler. Sheamus takes Ziggler down before throwing him over the top rope. Ziggler lands on the apron, where Sheamus ties him up for the forearm shots, nailing ten of them. Back in the ring, ADR trash-talks Sheamus. This causes enough distraction for Ziggler to dropkick Sheamus off the apron, where ADR nails him with a kick. Commercials.
[adinserter block=”1″]Back from the break, Ziggler has Sheamus in a front chancery, which Sheamus throws off. Mysterio tags in and hits a Cannonball from the top rope, followed by a spinning headscissors. He counters a sunset flip with a Buzzsaw for 2. Ziggler goes for a slam, and Mysterio slides out. He kicks Ziggler in the knees, setting up the 619. ADR kicks him in the back off the ropes, allowing Ziggler to nail the Rocker Dropper for 2. Ziggler drags Mysterio to the corner and tags in ADR, who hits a jumping stomp for 2. ADR gets him in a rear chinlock with a knee to the back, and Mysterio breaks out with knee strikes to the head. He bounces off the ropes, and ADR catches him with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for 2. Ziggler tags back in and stomps Mysterio before getting in a foot choke. He locks Mysterio in a camel clutch while in the ropes before going into a bow-and-arrow lock. Mysterio manages to kick him off, but Ziggler takes him back down with a quick neckbreaker. ADR tags back in and lands several punches. Mysterio quickly tries to tag in Sheamus, but ADR cuts him off with an elbow drop for 2. ADR whips Mysterio into the corner and hits a kick to the chest. Mysterio back drops him to the floor and crawls to his corner, but ADR tags in Ziggler first, who is able to cut Mysterio off. Ziggler goes for a running powerslam, but Mysterio counters into a spinning DDT. Sheamus and ADR tag in, and ADR is leveled with a pair of Irish Hammers and a clothesline. Sheamus goes for the tilt-a-whirl powerslam, but ADR slides out and kicks him in the shoulder. He goes for the jujigatame, but Sheamus shoves him off into Ziggler before nailing White Noise. He signals for the Brogue Kick, but Rodriguez grabs his foot, causing the DQ.
WINNERS VIA DISQUALIFICATION: Rey Mysterio and Sheamus. ADR kicks Sheamus in the head before locking in the jujigatame. Nearly all the referees in WWE come into the ring to pull ADR off. Ziggler is still at ringside, however, and he looks to be cashing in MITB. He crawls into the ring and hands the briefcase over, but Mysterio nails him from behind before the bell can ring. Ziggler gets nailed with the 619, and Sheamus pops back up to hit the Brogue Kick.
End of show.
Before I end this, I’d like to wish my condolences to those who were killed or injured in the Aurora shooting earlier this morning. Aurora is not that far from where I’m at, and it’s always strange to hear about things like this happening near you. You always think, “That could never happen here”, but it can and does. Fortunately, no one I know was hurt or killed there, but those that did suffer were/are friends or family to someone, and words can’t express how sorry I am for your losses.
As always, feel free to follow me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/xdustineflx, and if you like Married…With Children, you can follow my Al Bundy parody account at http://www.twitter.com/bundyisms. Also follow my personal blog at http://nerdslikeme.blogspot.com (feedback is welcome). Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out my mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:
Thanks for reading, I’ll see you next week.
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