WWE Friday Night Smackdown! opens up with stills from the World title match at Summerslam. Tonight, GM Booker T will address the situation.
In the arena, the show opens up with Randy Orton making his way out. Orton defeated Alberto Del Rio on Monday night thanks to Sheamus pointing out that Orton’s foot was on the ropes during ADR’s final pinfall attempt. Orton re-introduces himself to everyone, because we all have severe ADD. He says he’s never been a “glass half-full” kind of guy, and he’d like to smash that glass and beat the hell out of whoever came up with that phrase. There is one thing he likes, and that’s confrontations. ADR says Orton should mind his own business, and that Orton’s win on Monday was tainted. Orton says, “Too bad.” Good one. Orton deserves to face Sheamus for the title. Judging how the internet and social media blew up with personal opinions after Monday, he’s willing to bet some backstage have a problem with what he just said. So, he invites those people to come to the ring right now…and confront him.
Booker T’s music hits, and the General Manager makes his way out. Booker tells them both to hold on. We’re talking about something that will be huge: Randy Orton vs. Sheamus for the World title. The crowd responds positively when he asks if they want to see it. Book wants to see it, too. He says Orton will always be in line for a title shot, but we need to talk about what happened Monday night first. ADR and Ricardo Rodriguez cut things off. ADR says the title is not for Orton because it’s his. He calls Sheamus a criminal and a cheater, and Orton a crazy animal. That’s the kind of people you want for the World title match? He should have been champion by now because everyone knows Sheamus cheated. The referee robbed him at Summerslam, and the next night, the only reason Orton won is because Sheamus cheated again. Book tries to step in, but ADR keeps cutting him off. He says Book knows nothing. He calls Sheamus a cheater and a criminal. He stole ADR’s car, and the title match. He never lost the match, and he’s filed a protest. Unfortunately, he hasn’t gotten an answer yet, though. He calls all of this a conspiracy before calling Book a criminal and a cheater as well. The whole world is against him. Book cuts him off and wants to finish what he originally had to say. He tells Orton he’ll always be in line for title shots, but the next person in line this time is ADR once again. That was until ADR came out and started running his mouth. Book has now changed his mind. Tonight, there will be a rematch from RAW between ADR and Orton, and the winner will officially be the new #1 contender. Now, can you dig that…sucka?
Michael Cole reminds us Josh Mathews is still recovering from an attack by Kane at Summerslam. Josh will be back next week, though.
MATCH 1: Ryback vs. Jinder Mahal
Ryback’s got new music since I’ve been gone. Teddy Long has joined Michael Cole for commentary, and Teddy announces there will be a guest commentator throughout the night, as Cole needs all the help he can get. Back in the ring, before Mahal comes out, Ryback says Mahal will learn his place in the food chain. “Feed me more!” We see what happened between these two on Monday, and I have to say Mahal has the worst camel clutch I’ve ever seen. Tie-up, and Ryback shoves Mahal off. Mahal comes back with a kick and goes into a side headlock. Ryback counters into a version of the blue thunder bomb. He hits some mounted backhands, then backs Mahal into the corner for some straight rights. Ryback corner whips him, but Mahal counters the charge with a shot. Mahal hits an elbow, a knee and a forearm. Mahal counters a powerslam attempt by shoving Ryback into the turnbuckles, and follows up with forearms to the back. He locks in a cravat and hits some kneelifts to the face. I swear 90% of Mahal’s offense involves his knees. Jumping kneedrop by Mahal (see?), and a running knee (told ya) gets 1. A couple knee drops to the back, followed by a couple boots to the face. Ryback catches the third boot, shoves him off and hits a back body drop off the ropes. Some shoulder thrusts in the corner by Ryback, who then picks Mahal up on his shoulders and hits a modified tilt-a-whirl powerslam. Ryback drops Mahal with a running clothesline, nails the Shell Shocked, and gets the 3.
Back from the break, Kaitlyn has joined Cole for commentary.
MATCH 2: Alicia Fox vs. WWE Divas Champion Layla (non-title)
Tie-up to start, and Fox turns it into a schoolgirl for 1. Hip throw into a side headlock follows. Layla reverses into a roll-up, but can’t even get a 1-count. Spinning back kick and a springboard cross-body from Layla gets 2. Criss-cross ends in a dropsh*t by Fox for 2. Layla hits another kick to the gut and goes to the middle rope, but Fox kicks her leg out from under her, sending Layla to the mat. Fox then begins kicking at the bad leg and follows up with a half-Boston crab.Layla manages to reverse it and kick Fox away, before rolling her up with a small package for 2. Fox ducks a clothesline, but takes a roundhouse (CM Punk, she isn’t) to the face, and that’s enough for 3.
WINNER: Layla. Kaitlyn plays the good sport after the match and the two hug, which prompts the Assistant to the GM, Eve Torres, to make her way out and look frumpy in the process. She raises both of their arms with a big fake smile on her face. I just noticed Kaitlyn is wearing one of those stupid hipster mustache necklaces, making me dislike her even more in the process.
RAW Rebound time, focusing on the Punk/Cena feud, which I have read will continue through the remainder of the year. I love Punk’s prohibition era-style facial hair. I used to rock that look myself. Just saying.
We see Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero in the back, talking about how Ziggler got rid of Chris Jericho on Monday night. Vickie says she’ll take care of AJ Lee, who made Ziggler put his MITB briefcase on the line on RAW. Sheamus walks in and says that he’s looking for a fight, and if Ziggler’s as good as he says he is, why doesn’t he cash in his case tonight? Ziggler says he’ll do that on his own terms, and when it does happen, Sheamus will never see it coming. Teddy Long interrupts things and says he’s going to advise Booker T to make a match between the two tonight. The case will not be on the line, but if Ziggler’s as good as he says he is, he may have the chance to cash in. Then again, maybe not. Ziggler likes the idea, as does Sheamus.
MATCH 3: Sin Cara vs. Heath Slater
Cody Rhodes is the guest commentator for this match, and he has a caricature of Sin Cara supposedly unmasked with him. Tie-up starts, with Slater turning it into a hammerlock. Cara fights out and hits a rolling snapmare. Cara nails an elevated dropkick. Slater tries to back drop him to the floor, but Cara lands on his feet on the apron. He misses the step-up kick, and Slater shoulders him to the floor. Slater throws him back in the ring for a 1-count. Slater drops some elbows to the neck before going into a rear chinlock. Rhodes makes fun of Cole calling Slater an accomplished athlete, saying this is probably the only match Slater has a chance of winning this year. Good (and true) line there. Cara fights out, but is cut off by a knee lift. He ducks a clothesline and hits a springboard back elbow. Springboard twisting armdrag by Cara, sending Slater to the floor. Cara nails him with a corkscrew plancha right in front of Rhodes, followed by a kick to the ribs. Slater shoves Cara into the apron before rolling him back in the ring, where he stomps him. He goes for Cara’s leg, but Cara is holding onto the bottom rope. The referee pulls Slater off Cara and argues with him, allowing Rhodes to grab Cara by the mask and twist it around so Cara can’t see. Slater hits Sweetness and gets the 3.
WINNER: Heath Slater. Yes, Heath Slater won a match. After the match, Rhodes attacks Cara and tries to get his mask off, but a couple referees step in before he can finish the job.
Sheamus/Ziggler has been made official, and it’s up next.
MATCH 4: World Champion Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/Vickie Guerrero)
Every time these two wrestle, it’s a good match, so I’m okay with this. Vickie Guerrero will be the guest commentator for this one. Ziggler starts with a waistlock. Sheamus tries to elbow out, but Ziggler ducks and slides to the floor. Back in the ring, Sheamus immediately hip throws Ziggler and holds on for a side headlock. Ziggler back to his feet, but Sheamus repeats the move. Back up, Sheamus hits a shoulder off the ropes, and a criss-cross ends in a Ziggler dropkick for 1. Ziggler with a rear chinlock now before nailing a kick off the ropes. He ducks a Sheamus clothesline, but runs right into a release flapjack for a 1-count. Sheamus throws Ziggler to the corner and lands some punches. Corner whip, but Sheamus runs right into a back elbow from Ziggler. Ziggler charges in and gets caught in a fireman’s carry, but reverses into a sunset flip for 1. Back up, Ziggler kicks Sheamus in the knee and goes for the Rocker Dropper, but Sheamus sidesteps him and nails a clothesline, sending Ziggler to the apron. He tries for the forearms in the ropes, but Ziggler slides down to the floor. Sheamus goes to grab Ziggler’s hair, but Ziggler clips his leg, whipping Sheamus into the apron. Ziggler nails a DDT on the apron. Haven’t seen that in a while. Back in the ring, Ziggler gets 2 before immediately going into a rear chinlock. Sheamus eventually counters into a back suplex. Ziggler is back up first though, and goes for the sleeper. Sheamus easily whips him off, nails a pair of Irish Hammers, shoulders Ziggler into the corner, hits a running knee lift, then throws Ziggler to the apron for the forearms, which connect this time. Back in the ring, Sheamus nails White Noise. Ziggler sees the Brogue Kick coming, though, and dives for the bottom rope. Sheamus tries to pull him off, but the referee backs Sheamus off. Behind his back, Vickie slips Ziggler the MITB briefcase. Ziggler nails Sheamus in the shoulder right in front of the referee, causing the DQ.
WINNER VIA DISQUALIFICATION: Sheamus. Ziggler continues the attack, nailing Sheamus once again with the case. Ziggler tells the referee he’s going to cash in right now and hands the case over, but as the referee goes to make the match official, Sheamus gets back up, looking angry. Before the referee can ring the bell, Ziggler snags the case back out of his hands and heads for the hills.
I gotta say, I like these Fight Club-esque videos for Wade Barrett. I’m thinking he will be World Champion by Summerslam at the latest next year.
Back in the arena, Santino Marella is making his way out. We see video of him losing the US title to Antonio Cesaro (Huzzah!) this past Sunday night. Marella says he was the US Champion for 166 days, 14 hours, 33 minutes and 22 seconds…give or take. But, every moment this last week, he feels like he’s becoming less and less American, and he doesn’t like that. This morning, he woke up and couldn’t remember how apple pie tasted. So, he ate one. But that’s not the point. He feels like he let everyone down when he lost the title to Cesaro. Everyone’s been asking him if he and the Cobra can ever be on the same page. Let’s find out right now. Marella puts the Cobra on his arm and begins talking to it. He says the Cobra is grown up now, and can remember when it was a baby. What happened last Sunday, he knows Aksana is gorgeous, but let’s call a fish a fish-the Cobra cost them the US title. It’s not how many times you fall down, it’s not how many times you get back up. He’d now like to quote Robert De Niro: “I have nipples. Can you milk me?” Sorry, wrong quote, wrong actor. He then quotes Rocky Balboa: “If you can change, and I can change, you know where this is going people! We can all change!” The Cobra then perks back up, and Marella says that’s the Cobra he knows and loves. Together, they can once again become the US Champion.
Antonion Cesaro and Aksana make their way out, and thankfully, Cesaro has new music. Granted, it’s some crappy faux rap, but still an improvement. Aksana says Cesaro will now say a word that best describes him. He says “Winner” in English, Italian, German, Swiss and French before making out with Aksana. He tells Marella that, unlike him, Cesaro personifies being a winner. Marella power walks up the stage and begins assaulting Cesaro. He goes for the Cobra, but it is distracted by Aksana. This allows Cesaro to boot Marella down onto the stage. He then holds the belt over his head as his music starts up again.
We see ADR and Ricardo Rodriguez arguing somewhere in the back.
Back from the break, The Prime-Time Players are the guest commentators for the next match.
MATCH 5: Epico and Primo (w/Rosa Mendes) vs. WWE Tag Team Champions Kofi Kingston and R-Truth (non-title)
Kingston and Epico start, with Kingston locking in an arm wringer. Epico rolls out into a cover for 1. Kingston counters into his own cover for 1. Epico ducks a clothesline and goes for a backslide, but Kingston reverses into a jackknife for 1. Epico bridges out and flips over Kingston’s back. They both go for a dropkick at the same time, hitting nothing but air. Epico fires off some shots before throwing Kingston to his corner, where he gets some boots in before tagging in Primo. Brady Hicks from PWI was telling me that he’s positive Darren Young will be the WWE Champion one day. Surely I can’t be the only one who doesn’t see it happening. Thoughts? Anyway, Primo comes in and stomps away at Kingston before pulling him up with an arm wringer. A kick to the gut and a sweep gets 1 for Primo. Epico tags in, and hits a tope con hilo off a suplex by Primo for 2. Nice move there. Epico with a hard corner whip, sending Kingston to the mat. Kingston manages to snap off a surprise hurricanrana from down on the mat, though, sending Epico head-first into the middle turnbuckle. Truth and Primo both tag in. Truth ducks a clothesline and hits one of his own. Another clothesline connects, followed by an uppercut. Truth ducks another clothesline and connects with the Hat Rack Crack (that’s actually what he calls it; don’t ask me), but Epico breaks up the pinfall. Kingston comes in, and Epico throws him over the top to the floor. Truth clotheslines Epico to the floor as well. From behind, Primo tries the Backstabber, but Truth holds onto the ropes. Truth quickly hits Lil’ Jimmy and gets the 3.
WINNERS: Kofi Kingston and R-Truth. Listening to Cole and the PTP on commentary was excruciating.
We see footage from WWE’s recent tour of the Far East.
Back in the arena, Matt Striker is with the tag champs, wanting to know who they think is next in line for a title match. Kingston says that’s not up to them, but they’re willing to take on all-comers. Truth (according to Lil’ Jimmy) says they don’t worry about competition; competition worries about them. PTP enter the frame and begin insulting Lil’ Jimmy. O’Neil says he isn’t real, and they aren’t the real champions. The Usos then enter and say they deserve the next shot. Epico and Primo come in with the same speech. As do Justin Gabriel and Tyson Kidd. Holy hell! We actually have the start to a real tag team division! All the arguing eventually erupts into a brawl involving all ten guys.
Back in Booker T’s office, Teddy Long says the thing with the tag team division is now under control. Book asks him who he thinks deserves the next tag title match. Eve Torres says she has the win/loss records for all the teams in the WWE right now, and using that data, has determined who is the most deserving team. She has also organized all of his meetings and appointments for him. She takes her job as his assistant very seriously, and if there are no further issues, she’s going to get started on next week’s show. She then tells Teddy she didn’t even notice him there.
More RAW Rebound time. This time, it’s the Kane/Daniel Bryan feud. This segues into the Triple H/Lesnar feud, which was also featured on RAW.
MATCH 6-Winner becomes the new #1 Contender to the World Championship: Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo Rodriguez)
Sheamus is the guest commentator for this one. Tie-up to start, which ADR turns into a side headlock. Orton shoves him off, and ADR comes back with a shoulder for 1. ADR picks Orton up and tries to throw him to the corner, but Orton blocks it with his foot. He sends ADR head-first into the top turnbuckle and schoolboys him for 1. Orton with a kick and a botched slingshot suplex for 1. A Tully Blanchard suplex, that was not. Orton with a stomp to the gut. He goes for ADR’s legs, but ADR quickly gets to the bottom rope. Orton stomps him over the middle rope, then slingshots him underneath the bottom for 2. ADR quickly gets back up, kicks Orton in the left arm and lands a shoulder stunner. Another kick to the arm, and he’s setting up the rolling jujigatame. Orton reverses into a swinging neckbreaker. ADR rolls to the floor by the steps. Sheamus stands up to stare at ADR as we go to commercials.
WINNER AND NEW #1 CONTENDER: Alberto Del Rio. For whatever reason, ADR knocks Ricardo down. He then takes Ricardo’s shoe off and throws it at Sheamus, leading to a brawl. Ricardo manages to grab Sheamus’ leg, which allows ADR to nail him in the head with a kick. ADR grabs the other shoe from Ricardo and smacks Sheamus in the face with it.
As ADR and Ricardo are leaving the area, Dolph Ziggler’s music hits. He says he’s going to cash in, but before he can hand the case over, Orton nails him with an RKO.
End of show.
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Thanks for reading, and as long as Spike TV still fronts the bill, I’ll see you next week.
Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you next week.
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