Welcome back to the WWE Friday Night Smackdown! recap, everyone. For the 8/19/11 edition, e start the show off with a recap of Randy Orton winning the World title from Christian at Summerslam 2011. This leads right into Teddy Long introducing the new champion. Ugh. The show has just started and I’m already tired. Orton takes his sweet-ass time getting to the ring as we listen to Michael Cole and Booker T bicker at each other.
Orton takes the mic from Long. He says everyone’s used to seeing Christian starting the show whining and complaining, but he’s sure as hell no Christian. You’re right; Christian is actually entertaining. He tells us that he beat Christian at the PPV so badly he can’t stand, let alone beg for another match. He said he used to respect Christian, but Christian eventually became annoying and now he despises Christian. He tells Long that he’s ready to start anew. Long says he’s glad to hear that, and the next contender will be determined in a 20-man battle royal tonight. For whatever reason, this leads to IC champ Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase to come out.
Rhodes grabs a mic and I begin to fall into a coma. Rhodes says this is Legacy reunited in the ring. He says times have changed because, like Orton, Rhodes is a champion, too, but unlike Orton, Rhodes didn’t have to resort to common barbarism and pandering to the crowd to win the belt as he despises the people. Rhodes only put on spray tan up to the neck tonight. He looks really stupid. He says that he’s not satisfied with being just IC champ, and will be in the battle royal tonight in order to get a shot at the world title. He hands the microphone to Ted DiBiase.
DiBiase says that they know Orton better than anyone. They know his strengths and his weaknesses. DiBiase says that he hasn’t forgotten all the times Orton used them, which leads to Orton RKO’ing DiBiase and mercifully ending this segment. If caffeine did anything for me, I’d need a truckload of it to wake up right now.
MATCH 1-Intercontinental Championship: Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes vs. Ezekiel Jackson
Zeke shaved his face and looks rather different as a result. They start with Zeke throwing Rhodes into the corner off a lock up, followed by some clubbering. Zeke gets 2 off a spinning sidewalk slam. Rhodes misses an enziguri and gets an elbow to the back for another 2. They trades some forearm shots and Rhodes does the Goldust uppercut off the ropes. Zeke gets another 2 off a back body drop. Rhodes gets a hotshot from the outside and hits a really sloppy-looking bulldog for 2. Rhodes on offense with kicks now. Rhodes tries for something out of the corner, but Zeke clubs out. Rhodes hits a sloppy-looking flying forearm for another 2 as a counter. Rhodes goes for a front facelock, but Zeke throws him off. Zeke gets Rhodes in the corner and clubbers him some more. He goes for a bodyslam, but Rhodes slides out to the floor. He throws Rhodes over the steps, but Rhodes then dropkicks them into Zeke’s knee. Zeke goes for the rack, but can’t get him up due to his knee. Rhodes gets a kick to the leg, followed by the Beautiful Disaster and the Cross Rhodes, and this one’s over.
WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: Cody Rhodes. Ezekiel Jackson has been beat by Rhodes, what, 6 or 7 times now? So much for Vince being a fan of Zeke’s and planning a big push for him.
I see that both Zack Ryder and William Regal will be in the battle royal tonight. Although Ryder is still a RAW wrestler as far as I know, I’m very happy that two of my favorites will get a chance to wrestle tonight. Granted, they’ll both be thrown out in short order.
Back in Long’s office, he’s signing some documents. Zack Ryder shows up and says WWE Champion Alberto Del Rio will be here tonight. Long said that, although he did tell Ryder to invite the new WWE Champion, he said that after Punk won and not ADR. All of a sudden, Aksana and her cheap porn music show up. She asks Teddy why his last name is Long. Probably because that’s what he was born with. Oh, I get it. Another erection joke. Ha. She asks Long if he’d like to watch the main event with her tonight. He says he’d rather watch it alone, which she calls a shame. I hate Aksana. I really hate her. “What is camel?” was her only shining moment in her career.
We see another well-done Justin Gabriel video package from the tour of Cape Town, South Africa a few weeks ago. Not sure why they’re still showing these videos since it did take place a while ago, but it’s helping get Gabriel over, which I’m okay with. He talks about being a 3rd generation wrestler as we get some pics of his dad and grandfather. This leads into the next match.
MATCH 2: Justin Gabriel vs. Tyson Kidd
Gabriel’s got new music again. I guess since he’s a face, he needs something more upbeat. I just hope that Sheamus doesn’t get the same treatment, as I love his theme song. Commercial break before Gabriel’s opponent, Tyson Kidd, makes his way out.
Okay, the WWE has plenty of decent cruiserweights at this point. Reviving the division might not be a bad idea. Anyway, this should be a really solid match, especially since, despite jobbing, Kidd has been on top of his game lately as far as performances go. Kidd starts with a waist lock takedown into a side headlock. Shoulder block off the ropes, and they criss-cross the ropes a few times. Gabriel flips out of a hip toss and catches a sweep for 2. Gabriel with a Japanese arm drag, but Kidd backs him into a corner. Kidd gets a head scissors into the opposite corner, followed by a snapmare and low dropkick for 2. Kidd with an elbow off an Irish whip for another 2, and now he’s going for a modified standing surfboard. Gabriel begins to fight out and gets up to his feet. Kidd tries for a back suplex, but Gabriel back flips out. He misses a roundhouse, but immediately catches a modified enziguri. Gabriel catches a jumping roundhouse followed by a standing roundhouse and a running forearm for 2. Back in the corner now, and Kidd reverses a whip. Gabriel rolls out of the way and hits a top rope cross body, but Kidd rolls through and tries for a submission, but Gabriel again rolls through into a pin for 2. He catches an STO and begins climbing the top rope. Kidd catches him, but Gabriel reverses into a top rope gourdbuster. Kidd’s in nearly the middle of the ring now as a result of the landing. Gabriel manages to catch a long distance 450 splash into a perfect landing, and gets the 3.
WINNER: Justin Gabriel. Excellent match, and the finish was absolutely gorgeous. Gabriel’s definitely a star in the making.
Ken Doll Striker is in the back with The Mediocre Khali and Jinder Mahal. Striker asks Khali about the battle royal tonight, and Khali says he’ll win, according to Mahal. Mahal gets pissed about this and says that Khali has corrected himself and that Mahal will in fact win the battle royal tonight. The day Khali or Mahal becomes number one contender is the day Virgil goes into the Hall of Fame.
Back from the commercial, and Roberto Rodriguez is out to introduce the new WWE Champion, Alberto Del Rio. I’ve heard past rumors that Rodriguez, who is a trained wrestler, will become an active competitor in the WWE at some point. Still wondering when that will happen. For those wondering, Del Rio does now have a nameplate on the belt.
Del Rio gets a microphone and introduces himself to us, but with less flair than usual. He says we all know he’s been talking about destiny for months, and that although most fans thought he was crazy, but that he is now champion, proving destiny is real. He reminds us all of how he became champion at the PPV. He tells us he made his debut in this same city last year, defeating Rey Mysterio. He says everyone used to hate him, but in the past year, everyone now just loves him. He says it’s funny because he beat Mysterio a year ago in his first match, and then beat him again in his first title defense, and that if we don’t believe him, he will show us. This leads to a brief recap video from RAW’s main event, including when ADR wrecked Mysterio’s shoulder. I absolutely love him for that, BTW. Seeing Del Rio trash Mysterio’s arm was a thing of beauty. Anyway, ADR says he’s a real champion, and that’s the reason he’s here. He says a real champion faces anyone, and then asks who wants to face him. Apparently, the one who wants to face him is fellow MITB winner Daniel Bryan.
Bryan comes out to the stage, and ADR thinks it’s a joke. Bryan looks like he’s trying not to laugh. He says ADR thinks he’s so special, but if that’s the case, how come he cashed in his MITB case just like everyone else, after the champ was already down and defeated. He says that is ordinary, predictable and pathetic. Bryan then makes his way down to the ring. Apparently, these two are wrestling after the commercial. Hopefully, they’re given more time this week.
MATCH 3: WWE Champion Alberto Del Rio vs. Daniel Bryan (non-title)
Back from break, and the two start with a tie-up. ADR gets Bryan into the corner, but misses a punch. Bryan answers with some forearms and kicks. ADR catches the ropes off an Irish whip, missing a kick from Bryan. Bryan chases him back into the ring, where he’s met with some kicks and stomps. ADR whips Bryan into the corner, then kicks him in the back for 2. ADR now has an arm bar locked in. Cole is bitching about Daniel Bryan’s ego by announcing when he will cash in. Bryan tries to get some punches in, but ADR takes him down with a headbutt for 2. ADR with a side headlock takedown. Bryan throws him off into the ropes, but ADR knocks him down with a shoulder block. Bryan catches a kitchen sink off the criss-cross, though, followed by more vicious kicks for 2. Byran with some European uppercuts, but ADR reverses a corner whip. Bryan catches him with a foot and starts to go up top, but ADR gets a middle rope double-knee arm breaker for 2. ADR’s working on Bryan’s arm with another arm bar. Bryan punches out and goes for a sunset flip, but ADR reverses out and drops an elbow on the injured arm for 2. Good ring psychology by ADR. ADR gets a 1-count off a top wrist lock and goes back to the arm bar. Bryan once again punches out and gets ADR into the corner. Bryan with more forearm shots, but gets reversed off a corner whip again, leading to yet another arm bar. Bryan once again tries to fight out, but ADR keeps the pressure on and hits Bryan’s arm with some forearms and stomps, driving him back down. Back to the arm bar yet again. Bryan fights out and goes to the corner. He elbows and kicks ADR off a couple charges, and rolls out of the way on the third attempt. Bryan lays some more nasty kicks in, and goes for the whip yet again. This time, he backflips out of the reversal and hits a running clothesline. Bryan goes for a back drop off an Irish whip, but ADR kicks him away. Bryan answers by back dropping him to the floor. He hits the running knee strike to the floor on ADR, nailing him right in the face. I mean he caught him flush. Bryan’s up top now, but ADR sees him coming. He gets out of the way and gets a quick German suplex on Bryan for 2. ADR sets Bryan up top, possibly for a back superplex. He does go for it, but Bryan reverses into a cross body in mid-air. Damn good match thus far as we head to commercial.
Back from the break and they are trading shots. Bryan lays in some heavy forearms and gets a corner dropkick off a whip. He goes up top again and hits the seated dropkick for 2. Bryan begins to kick the hell out of ADR. He misses the third kick and ADR tries for another German, but Bryan reverses out and stumbles back into the corner off an elbow. ADR catches a foot on a corner charge. Bryan goes for a spinning head scissors, but immediately turns it into the guillotine choke. ADR powers out and back Bryan into the corner, followed by a northern lights suplex. He immediately turns that into the jujigatame, and Bryan taps out.
WINNER: Alberto Del Rio. After the match, ADR continues to attack Bryan’s arm, leading to Hunico/Sin Cara to come in. He catches a head scissors and a dropkick, sending ADR to the floor. He follows this up with a top rope plancha onto Del Rio. This match was so damn good. Can’t say enough good things about it. Del Rio worked the arm the entire time, and Bryan sold the hell out of it. Tons of holds and counters in this match. Just excellent stuff.
Striker is in the back with Mark Henry. We get stills of Henry driving Sheamus through the barricade at Summerslam. Striker asks Henry his chances in tonight’s battle royal. Henry says he should already be number one contender, and lists off some of his victims. He says being put in the BR was the wrong thing to do. He looks at it as being in a boat. The seas will get rocky, and 19 of the 20 men are going overboard and are going to sink.
MATCH 4: A.J. and WWE Divas Champion Kelly Kelly vs. Alicia Fox and Natalya
Am I the only one who thinks Kelly Kelly always looks constipated? Who did Natalya piss off to get paired with this broad? I hope Fox gets her ass beat by Natalya after the match, win or lose. Natalya orders Fox to apron. Good sign. Natalya and A.J. start with a tie-up. A.J. breaks out and goes for a school boy, but Nattie just stomps her. She picks A.J. up by the throat and throws her into the corner. A.J. dropkicks out and goes for a cross body, but Nattie catches her. A.J. slides out of a slam attempt and catches Nattie in a head scissors pin for 2. A.J. goes up top again, but Nattie just whips her down. She tags in Fox wh gets a snapmare as Nattie stomps A.J. Fox whips her down and hits a knee to the ribs. Fox with a chinlock now. Have I mentioned she looks like a transvestite? A.J. tries to fight out, but Fox whips her back down. Nattie tagged back in, and they hit a double suplex for 2. Nattie smacks A.J. in the face before tagging Fox back in. She holds A.J. up for Fox to kick her in the gut. A.J. manages to fight out of the corner and tags in Kelly. Kelly hits her yelling headscissors crap and then a weak facebuster. Kelly does the stinkface and gets a hurricanrana for 2 before Nattie breaks it up. A.J. runs in, but Nattie throws her out. Fox misses the axe kick, leading Kelly to hit the Kelly Killer for 3.
WINNERS: A.J. and Kelly Kelly. That was really long for a televised divas tag match. A.J. and Natalya did all the work, too. After the match, Nattie gets in Fox’s face. Fox tries to stand up to her, but Nattie tells her to back off. As Fox leaves the ring, Nattie forearms her right in the face and locks the Sharpshooter on at ringside. Have I mentioned I love Nattie?
The battle royal is up next.
We get highlights of Fan Axxess from this past weekend, as well as Sheamus’ appearance on “Conan”. Randy Orton is out before the match starts. Commercial.
Back from break, and most of the competitors are out as Sin Cara makes his way down, followed by Wade Barrett (complete with snazzy jacket), Mark Henry and Sheamus. Apparently, Orton is just watching the match. At least he’s not on commentary.
MATCH 5: 20-Man battle royal to determine a new #1 contender for the World Championship; Participants: Sheamus, Mark Henry, Jinder Mahal, The Great Khali, Daniel Bryan, Wade Barrett, Jey Uso, Jimmy Uso, Ezekiel Jackson, Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes, Justin Gabriel, Yoshi Tatsu, Heath Slater, Sin Cara, Ted DiBiase, Johnny Curtis, Zack Ryder, William Regal, Trent Barreta and Tyson Kidd
Okay, I’ve never recapped a battle royal before, but I can already tell it’s going to be a major pain. As a result, unless the elimination is done in a really cool way, I will keep it simple and say who gets eliminated by who in what order, at least until the field narrows down to just a few guys. Everyone starts by attacking Mark Henry, who throws everyone off. Barreta eliminated by Henry. Tatsu eliminated by Henry. Khali is protecting Mahal in the corner. Curtis eliminated by Barrett. I do not see Daniel Bryan in the ring anywhere. Ryder gets hip tossed out by Sin Cara. Ryder is gone. Rhodes eliminated by Jackson. Jackson and Khali face off in the corner. Khali throws him out after a brain chop. Jackson is eliminated. Now Henry and Khali are facing off. Henry takes a brain chop and Khali goes for the Punjabi Plunge. Henry fights out and just throws Khali over the top rope. Khali is eliminated. Daniel Bryan is nowhere in this match, so I’m guessing he’s selling the injury. Sheamus Brogue Kicks Heath Slater off the apron. Slater is gone. Henry, who had rolled to the floor under the bottom rope, press slams Slater face-first onto the steps for whatever reason. Commercial.
WINNER AND NEW #1 CONTENDER: Mark Henry. I was honestly very surprised to see Cara as the last man eliminated. I figured for sure it would be Sheamus in that role. Either way, it was pretty easy to predict who would win this one. Henry and Orton exchange words as the show goes off the air.
End of show.
Not a bad show. The battle royal was overall fairly entertaining, despite Bryan’s absence being unexplained and the announcers not recognizing that William Regal and Cody Rhodes had been eliminated. Justin Gabriel/Tyson Kidd was great, and Bryan/Del Rio was even better. Both matches are well worth seeing.
Full August 19 WWE Friday Night SmackDown results…
Cody Rhodes defeated Ezekiel Jackson to retain the Intercontinental Title
Justin Gabriel defeated Tyson Kidd
Alberto Del Rio defeated Daniel Bryan in a non-title match
Kelly Kelly and A.J. defeated Natalya and Alicia Fox
Mark Henry won a battle royal to become the new No. 1 contender to the WWE world heavyweight championship
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