The show kicks off with Randy Orton making his way out. Not a good way for me to start the show when I’m already exhausted. Orton is out here to set the record straight. Most everyone thinks he despises Alberto Del Rio for the attack last month. That’s not true; it’s not because he attacked Orton, it was because why. He calls ADR a miserable disappointment. ADR wasn’t honest, and picked the wrong guy to make an example out of. This Sunday, Orton will give him the single most brutal beating of his life.
[adinserter block=”2″]ADR and Ricardo Rodriguez make their way out shortly thereafter. He says Orton isn’t very smart. What part did Orton not understand about doing things on ADR’s terms, not Orton’s? He’s going to show the world Orton is nothing but a garden snake at HIAC, and he’s the new “Apex Predator” in WWE. Orton says ADR has big talk when there’s plenty of space between them, but he’s really a bottom feeder with no cajones. ADR says we’re doing this when he wants, and he’s just decided Orton’s time is up. ADR starts to head to the ring, but changes his mind before telling Orton he’ll see him Sunday. As Orton continues to talk trash to the exiting ADR, Wade Barrett nails him with a forearm to the back of the head and quickly leaves the ring.
In the back, Teddy Long approaches ADR and Ricardo about what just happened. ADR says he has no idea what that was about. Barrett walks up and asks ADR if that’s what he wanted. Teddy tells Barrett that Booker T wants Barrett/Orton one-on-one tonight. Barrett smiles.
MATCH 1: Cody Rhodes vs. WWE Tag Team Co-Champion Kane
Daniel Bryan and Damien Sandow are on commentary, which should be enjoyable. Kane shoves Rhodes before booting him down. A pair of corner clotheslines and a short-arm gets 2 for Kane. Flying clothesline connects, but Cody blocks the chokeslam with a back elbow before running into an uppercut. Rhodes flips off a sidewalk slam attempt, kicks Kane in the knee and hits a shining wizard variation. Beautiful Disaster connects for 1. Missile dropkick gets another 1. He connects with the Goldust Uppercut before Kane starts firing back with punches. Rhodes dropkicks him in the knee and hits a side-Russian for 1. He goes for another uppercut, but Kane blocks him with a goozle, and picks him up from the mat to hit the chokeslam for 3.
Booker T approaches The Big Show in his locker room, telling him that he and Sheamus need to be professional in their face-to-face tonight. Show says he has nothing else to prove until Sunday, and he won’t get any trouble out of Show. Sheamus is scared, so he’ll be no trouble either. Tonight, Book will get his hype, and Sunday, he’ll get a new champion.
MATCH 2: The Miz vs. Yoshi Tatsu
Miz gets in a side headlock before hitting a shoulder off the ropes. Crisscross ends with a shot to the face by Miz. Punt to the ribs immediately follows, and a low dropkick sends Tatsu to the floor. Miz hits a bodyslam on the floor before throwing Tatsu on the apron and forearming him in the back. Back in the ring, Miz applies a rear chinlock before hitting a running boot off the ropes. Miz goes back to the rear chinlock. Tatsu fights out, but Miz stops him with a kneelift and goes for a back suplex. Tatsu reverses it into a cross-body for 1. Tatsu hits several kicks and a running knee in the corner. Miz quickly drops him with a back elbow and lands the snap DDT. Skull-Crushing Finale connects, and this one’s over.
WINNER: The Miz.
Back in Booker T’s office, he’s asking Aksana if Eve did in fact send her the suspicious email. Aksana says no, but Eve DID send her the information in a text message. Kaitlyn and Layla are there as well. Teddy Long walks in and lays it all out. Eve sent a text to Aksana to take out Kaitlyn. The plan worked perfectly for Eve, but the jig is now up. He calls her a bold-face liar. Book says if this is all true, she can’t be a member of his staff anymore. Eve calls herself too trusting, and doesn’t have a password on her iPad, meaning anyone could access it. She then gives Teddy an accusing look. Book makes a Divas title match for HIAC, with Eve defending the title against both Kaitlyn and Layla in a triple threat. He then makes a match for tonight, with Eve and Aksana facing Kaitlyn and Layla.
MATCH 3: Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton
Orton starts by clubbing Barrett across the back and throwing him to the floor. Orton goes to the floor and hits a clothesline before getting the match back in the ring. Orton with the Garvin Stomp, and a European uppercut. Orton hits a back suplex after a rear chinlock for 2. Orton hits a clothesline off a corner whip, and a jumping knee drop gets 2. Suplex gets another 2. Barrett slides to the floor for a breather, and Orton follows. Barrett boots him before throwing him back in the ring. Orton cuts Barrett off as he’s reentering and goes for the suspended DDT. Barrett counters by backdropping Orton to the floor. Orton lands on the apron, so Barrett mule kicks him to the floor. Outside, Barrett rams Orton ribs-first into the announce desk. Commercials.
Back from the break, Barrett has Orton in a rear chinlock. Orton fights out, but runs right into a kitchen sink. Barrett ties him up in the ropes, hits several knee lifts, and lands a running boot for 2. Backbreaker out of the corner gets another 2. Barrett goes into a modified camel clutch. Orton fights out, but runs right into a big boot for 2. Barrett attacks the ribs before hitting a short-arm clothesline for yet another 2. Barrett mounts the middle rope, and Orton cuts him off, nailing several punches. Orton sets him up for the Ace Superplex, which connects for 2. Orton hits three of the Four Moves of Boredom before Barrett reverses a corner whip. Orton charges in, and runs right into the Winds of Change for 2. Barrett sets up the Souvenir, but Orton ducks and hits the 3.0. Barrett rolls the apron, where Orton hits the suspended DDT. As Orton signals for the RKO, ADR and Ricardo march down to the ringside area. Barrett tries to capitalize on the momentary distraction, but Orton drops him with a European uppercut. ADR jumps on the apron, which is enough distraction for Barrett to blast Orton with the Souvenir and get the 3.
WINNER: Wade Barrett. Pleasantly surprised to see Barrett pick up the win there. Good match here, and I still say Barrett’s main eventing within six months. ADR assaults Orton after the match. Orton ducks the step-up enziguri, and the two wind up escaping each other’s finishers before ADR heads for the hills.
MATCH 4: Kaitlyn and Layla vs. Aksana and WWE Divas Champion Eve Torres
Layla and Aksana lock up, and get a quick rope break. Aksana hits a knee to the gut, and Layla counters a throw off the ropes with her roll-up for 2. Jackknife gets 2. Layla tags in Kaitlyn before hitting a springboard cross-body. Kaitlyn comes in and drops Aksana with a shoulder. Schoolgirl get 2. Kaitlyn hits a backbreaker before grabbing Eve by the hair. She turns around into a clothesline from Aksana. Eve tags in, hits a snapmare and a kick to the chest for 1. Eve chokes her over the ropes before going for a flipping legdrop. Kaitlyn counters by getting her knees up. She goes for a tag, but Eve cuts her off with an elbow. Eve goes for a suplex, and Kaitlyn counters into an inside cradle for 2. Kaitlyn drops Eve with a back elbow, a clothesline and a shoulderblock. Aksana tries for a distraction, so Kaitlyn hip tosses her into the ring. A clothesline for each of the heels before Kaitlyn holds Aksana up for a mule kick by Layla. They try a similar spot on Eve, and she ducks, causing Layla to nail Kaitlyn with the Bombshell. Eve knocks Layla out of the ring and gets the quick pin on Kaitlyn.
WINNERS: Aksana and Eve Torres.
Booker T approaches Sheamus in the back. He asks Sheamus to keep a cool head tonight in his face-to-face with Show. Sheamus calls Show a liar. He respects Book, but tonight, he can’t promise anything.
Elsewhere, Daniel Bryan is warming up for his match. Kane approaches him and says he won his match. If he won his, and Bryan loses his, it’s obvious who the real weak link to the team is.
MATCH 5: WWE Tag Team Co-Champion Daniel Bryan vs. Damien Sandow
Kane and Rhodes are on commentary this time. Before the match, Sandow begs our indulgence for a moment. This craze sweeping the nation is a direct reflection of the poor mental state of each and every one of you. Why are you so enamored with such a simple word like “Yes”? There are far more sophisticated ways to respond in the affirmative. Example: “Absolutely, I am more handsome than Daniel Bryan. Undoubtedly, my beard is more sophisticated than Daniel Bryan’s. And indubitably, Team Rhodes Scholars will walk away this Sunday with the WWE Tag Team titles.” And that is a not a yes or no question. You’re welcome! Bryan starts the match with right hands and goes for a roundhouse, but Sandow sees it coming and slides to the floor. Bryan follows and continues the attack. Back in the ring, Sandow turns the tide, hitting a corner whip and a corner clothesline. Bryan blocks a second attempt at the series with a drop toehold into the middle buckle. Bryan hits a seated dropkick from the middle rope for 2. Bryan turns the pin into an armbar. Commercials.
We’re back, and Bryan is still in control until Sandow kicks him in the knee. Sandow hits a jumping knee, followed by the side-Russian legsweep, and the Elbow of Disdain gets 2. Rear chinlock by Sandow. Bryan fights out, but runs into a back elbow. Bryan backflips off a corner whip, ducks a clothesline and hits a running clothesline of his own. Running corner dropkick gets 2. No! Kicks follow, and Sandow gets sent to the floor off a back drop. Bryan levels him with a knee from the apron, then pushes Rhodes out of his chair for good measure. Sandow nails Bryan with a clothesline, which causes Kane to get out of his chair and stalk Sandow around the ring. Rhodes throws Bryan shoulder-first into the post while the ref’s back is turned before throwing him back in the ring. Sandow returns to the ring and hits the straightjacket neckbreaker for the 3.
WINNER: Damien Sandow.
[adinserter block=”1″]Josh Mathews is in the ring for the Sheamus/Show face-off, and he’s flanked by fake security guards. Sheamus is the first to make his way out, followed by Show. As Show comes out, the security guards make a line diagonally across the ring, separating the two. Show rattles on about how the WMD is devasting, calling it stronger than the Rock Bottom, the Stone Cold Stunner, the Attitude Adjustment, and as we’ve recently seen, the Brogue Kick. Sheamus says if Show wants to believe that, fine. Feed your ego. In order for that to be lethal though, you have to hit someone with it, and he guarantees at HIAC…Show cuts him off and says Sheamus will fail, just like he has the last couple times he tried to nail Show with the kick. Sheamus’ boot got to about Show’s chest, which isn’t high enough. For the Brogue Kick to be effective, he has to be able to kick someone in the face. Show is a giant, and Sheamus doesn’t have what it takes to kick Show in the head, nor what it takes to beat him. If he thinks he’s going to kick Show’s head in, he’s either stupid or delusional. Sheamus says there’s two things he loves in life: a cold pint of ale on a hot day, and a great fight. When he saw Show KO Orton to become #1 contender, his mouth started watering. It gave him the chance to face a monster who has dominated wrestling, who won the World title in his first match. He loves a challenge, and there’s no bigger challenge than Show. Sheamus has beaten everyone who has faced him, but Show is different. He’s a mountain, a mountain Sheamus will conquer. He has never been more ready than for this Sunday. Show says he’s scared. Sheamus says if he has to chop him down to Brogue Kick him, he will. If he has to hit 10 kicks, he’ll do it. It won’t be easy, but a challenge this size never is. It’s been over a month since this match was signed. There’s been a lot of talk, but he’s counted every minute up to this point, and the time for talking is over. The time for fighting is now. Sheamus charges through the guards and begins brawling with Show. The guards pull them apart, so Show and Sheamus beat the hell out of all of them. The two clear the ring, and Sheamus goes for the Brogue Kick on Show, but Show rolls to the floor to avoid it.
End of show.
Aside from the somewhat pointless main event talking segment, the show was pretty good this week. I apologize if this recap sucks. I don’t normally get sick, but when I do, it’s bad. Needless to say, I’ve been fighting a stomach virus off and on all week, and it’s been the absolute worst today. The freezing weather certainly isn’t helping, either.
As always, feel free to follow me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/xdustineflx, and if you like Married…With Children, you can follow my Al Bundy parody account at http://www.twitter.com/bundyisms. Also follow my personal blog at http://nerdslikeme.blogspot.com (feedback is welcome). Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out my mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:
Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you next week.
[amazon_link id=”B008WAM2N8″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]WWE Attitude Era DVD[/amazon_link]
[amazon_link id=”B008IG0ESG” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]WWE: CM Punk Best in the World DVD[/amazon_link]
[amazon_link id=”B0082SIK9A” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ] WWE: Superstar Collection – Daniel Bryan DVD[/amazon_link]