This week’s WWE Friday Night SmackDown is kicking off with a championship match. Not a bad way to start at all.
MATCH 1-WWE Tag Team Championship: Goldust and Cody Rhodes (Champions) vs. The Real Americans (Antonio Cesaro and Jack Swagger, w/Zeb Colter)
I must say that I like how Jim Johnston mixed Rhodes’ old music into Goldust’s theme. Goldust and Swagger start the match. Swagger shoves Goldust, and Goldust comes back with an armdrag before getting a knee to the gut. Swagger sends him in, but Goldust comes back with a Goldust for 1. Rhodes tags in, and he hits a springboard seated dropkick. Cesaro tags in, misses a clothesline and gets hit with a standing gourdbuster for 1. Goldust tags back in, and he hits a right off the middle rope before nailing an uppercut. Rhodes back in, and he comes off the top with a kick to the gut. Rhodes hits a snapmare and a running knee to the face for 2. Rhodes applies an armbar, but Cesaro breaks it with a kneelift. He hits a European uppercut before getting sent into the corner and hit with a back body drop for 2. Rhodes goes back to the arm, but Cesaro backs him into the corner. Rhodes fights out and rolls Cesaro up for 2 before hitting a dropkick. Cesaro backdrops him to the apron, and he fights off Swagger before getting booted to the floor by Cesaro. Commercials.
WINNERS AND STILL CHAMPIONS: Goldust and Cody Rhodes. Good match to open the show. Honestly, I know it sounds cliché, but Goldust really does look better than he has in years.
Ryback is up next, and he has an open challenge for anyone in the locker room.
Back from the break, Ryback is already in the ring. He says being a bully is not a bad thing. He’s been a bully his entire life. He enjoys being a bully. He enjoys pushing people around. Looking around at all of the average “Feed Me Morons”, he could push each and every one of them around, and there’s nothing they could do about it. That’s not a bad thing for him. He doesn’t care who it is, he’s issuing a challenge to anyone who’s man enough. The Great Khali’s music hits. Oh, yay.
MATCH 2: Ryback vs. The Great Khali
Ryback hits a kick and a series of punches to the face before ramming Khali in the corner. He goes up for some punches, and Khali shoves him off before hitting a clothesline. Ryback gets thrown to the corner, and Khali hits an open-hand chop. Ryback tries a chop, but then gets thrown to the adjacent corner before receiving a chop to the back and one to the chest. Khali clotheslines him to the floor, and now Khali is following suit. Ryback is slammed face-first into the steps and rolled back into the ring. Khali climbs back in, and Ryback rolls to the floor on the other side. Khali grabs him, so Ryback hotshots the arm. Back in the ring, Ryback stomps Khali down in the corner before running into a back elbow and a boot. Khali hits a pair of clotheslines, then signals for the brain chop, which connects. Khali covers, but Ryback grabs the bottom rope at 2. Khali signals for the Punjabi Plunge now, but Ryback break free, ducks a clothesline and hits a Meat Hook. He calls for Shell Shocked, hits it and gets 3.
AJ Lee is in the back with Tamina Snuka, talking about how she’s been champion for 159 days. Vickie Guerrero interrupts and apologizes for Monday night, but everyone knows this is all Brad Maddox’s fault. AJ was only doing what the authority told her, and Vickie is pretty easy to beat. She then mentions AJ’s team at Survivor Series, saying she needs to show her team what a fierce leader she is. Vickie is putting her in a 2-on-1 Handicap Match against the Funkadactyls. AJ says her ankle is still hurt, but Vickie says the doctors say there’s nothing wrong with her ankle. AJ accuses Vickie of punishing her for Monday, and Vickie says she’s only doing what’s best for business.
MATCH 3-2-on-1 Handicap Match: The Funkadactyls (Cameron and Naomi) vs. WWE Divas Champion AJ Lee (w/Tamina Snuka)
Both members of the Funkadactyls can be in the ring at all times, apparently. They hit AJ with a double dropkick, then corner her on the outside, smacking her on the ass and rolling her back in the ring. AJ rolls out on the opposite side and puts Tamina between herself and the team. They knock Tamina down, grab AJ by the hair and roll her back in the ring. AJ rolls to the other side, and as Cameron tries to get back in, Tamina locks her in a swinging sleeper. Naomi sees it, and the distraction allows AJ to nail her from behind. AJ hits a neckbreaker for 1, then throws Naomi into the corner. She hits a snapmare and applies a sleeper now. Naomi breaks it by backing AJ into the corner, then hits an enziguri for 2. Tamina jumps on the apron, and Cameron wakes up to yank her back down. AJ knocks her down before getting hit with the Rear View by Naomi for 3.
WINNERS: The Funkadactyls. JBL constantly mentions these two dumping Tons of Funk. Can anyone tell me where exactly they went?
Bray Wyatt is with the Family in the back. He says he sees memories that are not his own, but they made him understand the world needs less revolutionaries and more revolutions. How could you understand how people like CM Punk and Daniel Bryan can walk into a room and people light up like they are seeing a mythical beast for the first time. They are but men who bleed and breathe the same way the fans do, yet the fans revere them like they can lead the world on a mystical revolution that doesn’t exist. His father told him when he was a child that the meek shall inherit the Earth one day. They are the reapers, and they are guided by her hand. Follow the buzzards.
MATCH 4: The Shield (WWE United States Champion Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins) vs. The Usos (Jey & Jimmy) and Rey Mysterio
Ambrose and Jimmy lock up, with Ambrose backing Jimmy into the corner for some elbow strikes. Jimmy comes back with an uppercut and some rights before sending Ambrose across. Ambrose reverses, Jimmy puts on the breaks and hits a clothesline. Jey tags in and hits a palm thrust for 2. Ambrose comes back with an arm wringer and tags in Rollins. Jey hits him with a right as he comes off the top rope, and now Jimmy tags in and hits a legdrop. Rollins comes back with some forearms to the back and tags in Ambrose, who stomps Jimmy down. Rollins back in, and he stomps Jimmy down in the corner. Ambrose in once more. They send Jimmy in, he ducks a clothesline and Jey makes the blind tag. They clothesline Ambrose and Rollins to the floor before intercepting Reigns with double palm thrusts. They hit a pair of suicide dives on Ambrose and Rollins before Jey hits Reigns on the apron with a kick to the gut. He goes for a cross-body from the top on Ambrose, but misses. Rollins tags in and goes for the pin, getting 2. Commercials.
Back from the break, Jey hits an uppercut on Rollins, but Rollins comes back with a spin kick to the head. Ambrose tags in and hits a short-arm clothesline, followed by a power-drive elbow for 2. He drives a knee into Jey’s back, then applies a modified straightjacket. Jey gets up and Ambrose goes for a neckbreaker, but Jey counters into a backslide for 2. Ambrose quickly applies a sleeper, but Jey fights out before getting hit with a kitchen sink. Reigns tags in for the first time and suplex Jey from the apron for 2. Reigns hits a right to the forehead, then tags in Rollins, who stomps Jey down. Jey gets corner-whipped and collapses off the buckles. Rollins does it again before charging in for a splash. Jey moves out of the way and begins crawling to his corner. Reigns tags and knocks Jimmy off the apron before hitting Jey with a spinning back suplex for 2. Jimmy breaks it up, and Ambrose sends Jimmy flying over the top rope. Jey gets backed into the corner, hits Ambrose with an elbow and avoids a charge by Reigns, sending him shoulder-first into the post. Rollins tags in, as does Mysterio. Mysterio hits a forearm from the corner and comes off top with a cannonball. He follows up with a tilt-a-whirl tornado DDT for 2 as Ambrose breaks it up. Jimmy hits him with a superkick, and Reigns hits Jimmy with a spear. Jey misses a dive and gets speared. He picks Mysterio off the mat and goes for a powerbomb, but Mysterio launches him over the top rope with a hurricanrana. He sets Rollins up for the 619, but Ambrose tags in and hits Rey with a clothesline. Rollins hits a somersault plancha on the Usos on the outside as Ambrose goes for a powerslam. Rey escapes, hits the 619 and follows up with a falling splash from the top rope for 3.
WINNER: Rey Mysterio and the Usos.
Later tonight, Luke Harper faces Daniel Bryan in a rematch from a couple weeks ago.
The Big Show is in the ring after the break, and he says that, despite the authority telling people he came back for a paycheck, the reality is he came back to make the authority’s lives a living hell. The best way to do that is rearrange the face of the WWE Champion and become the new champion. It’s been over 10 years since he was last WWE Champion, and this could be his last opportunity. But, when he steps into the ring on Sunday, he’s laying it all on the line…
Randy Orton interrupts him and says Show is finished. Sure, he had a good career, but he’s all washed up. The only reason Show has his job back and facing Orton on Sunday is because he filed a lawsuit like a coward. He thought he got one over on the authority, but the real reason they hired Show back was to punish him. And Orton is going to continue the punishment. Show tells him to come down to the ring and say that to his face, just like he did with the authority this past Monday. We see what happened between Orton, Triple H and Stephanie McMahon from Monday, where they basically put Orton in his place. Back to the arena, Show says it looks like someone went to mommy and daddy one too many times. Orton has all the talent in the world. He should be a locker room leader and the face of WWE. It should have happened years ago. All Orton’s ever done is what’s best for Randy Orton. So Orton waited until someone handed him the WWE title, and now Orton’s all alone. When Show gets his hands on him this Sunday, no one will save him. No one will be his rescue, and the sad truth is Orton isn’t the face of WWE; he’s just a spoiled brat. Orton says he can beat Show all by himself and he will do so. Show figured Orton might say that, so he shows a video of every time Orton’s been alone with Show, which has always resulted in Show wrecking him. Back to the arena again, Show tells Orton to hold onto the title tight. That’s the only thing that defines Orton as a man. This Sunday, Show takes what Orton covets most, that being the WWE Championship.
MATCH 5: Curtis Axel and Damien Sandow vs. Dolph Ziggler and Intercontinental Champion Big E. Langston
We are informed Axel will get his title rematch with Langston at Survivor Series this Sunday. Ziggler and Sandow start the match, and Ziggler immediately hits a dropkick, followed by some mounted corner punches. Sandow comes back with a clothesline off an Axel distraction, and Axel tags in to beat Ziggler down in the corner. Sandow back in, and he hits some kneelifts, followed by a side-Russian legsweep and the Cubito Aequet. Axel back in, and he hits a dropkick off the ropes. He nails Langston in the face, and when he turns around, Ziggler hits him with a leaping DDT. Sandow and Langston tag in, and Langston hits a pair of clotheslines. Axel gets knocked off the apron, and Langston then hits Sandow with a shoulderblock and a Warrior Splash to the back. He signals for the Big Ending, but Axel chopblocks him. Ziggler comes in and hits a rocker dropper on Axel. Langston ducks a clothesline from Sandow and hits the Big Ending for 3.
WINNERS: Big E. Langston and Dolph Ziggler. After the match, Axel tries to nail Langston with the title belt, but Langston sees it coming and ducks. He charges at Axel, but Axel bails to the floor before he can connect.
Renee Young is standing by with Alberto Del Rio. She shows a video of what has happened between ADR and John Cena over the past few weeks. Back to Young, shen then moves onto Cena suckering ADR into the ring this past Monday. Back to ADR, he said he wasn’t ready, but if he wanted to hurt Cena, he could have. He’s done enough to Cena since Cena stole the World title. If Cena wants to claim his arm is fine, good for him. Cena should enjoy his moment from RAW, but hiding behind a sling won’t help him this Sunday. There will be no more games or fun. ADR is going to hurt him, and hurt him bad. Two days from now, Cena is tapping out. ADR will take back the World title.
MATCH 6: Daniel Bryan vs. Luke Harper (w/Bray Wyatt and Erick Rowan)
Harper backs Bryan into the ropes, where he misses a clothesline. Bryan hits some rights, but Harper shoves Bryan into the ropes once more before clubbing him down. He yanks Bryan to the mat by his hair, but Bryan comes back with an early attempt at the Yes! Lock. Harper escapes to the floor as we go to commercials.
WINNER: Daniel Bryan. After the match, Harper levels Bryan with a big boot as Punk makes his way down to the ring. Rowan and Wyatt double-team Punk before throwing him in the ring, where Harper nails a clothesline. Bryan is back on his feet in the corner, and Rowan nails him with an avalanche. Harper and Rowan hold Bryan up for Wyatt, who introduces Bryan to Sister Abigail.
End of show.
Dustin Nichols is a freelance writer, and you can keep track of all of his work on his Facebook page, which can be found at www.facebook.com/DustinNicholsWriter. Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out his mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:
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