This is the recap for the 5-11-12 edition of WWE Friday Night SmackDown! Before I begin with the recap, I’d like to invite everyone to go over to my blog and check out my column on the worst member of the Four Horsemen of all time. I’m pretty proud of it, and it’s gotten a good response, so check it out. All feedback is welcome.
The show opens with what happened on Monday Night RAW, resulting in the World Championship match at Over the Limit being changed to a 4-way, including Chris Jericho and Randy Orton.
Hey, we’re going right into a match.
MATCH 1: World Champion Sheamus and Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho and Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo Rodriguez)
This is a rematch from Monday night, for those of you that didn’t watch. ADR actually comes out like everyone else, instead of in a car. Jericho and Orton start off, with Jericho punching Orton into the corner. Orton comes back with punches and kicks. Jericho reverses a corner whip, and Orton counters with a clothesline. Sheamus tags in and lands several punches and a back elbow. He aggressively tags Orton back in, who hits Jericho with a European uppercut. Jericho fights Orton off and tags in ADR, who runs right into a hip toss by Orton. Orton misses a knee drop, and ADR hits an armbar takedown for 2. ADR gets in a top wristlock. Orton fights out and tags in Sheamus. Sheamus hits an Irish Hammer, then beats ADR into the corner. ADR gets a back elbow up, but runs right into the rolling fireman’s carry slam for 2. Sheamus goes to the ropes, and Jericho low bridges him, sending him to the floor. Sheamus eventually gets back in the ring, where he’s met with an ADR kick. Jericho tags in and gets Sheamus in a version of the fujiwara, which he turns into a hammerlock/rear chinlock combo. Sheamus elbows his way out and hits an Irish Hammer off the ropes. Orton tags back in, hits Jericho with a pair of clotheslines and a powerslam. Jericho rolls to the apron, which allows Orton to hit the suspended DDT. Orton sets up for the RKO, but Jericho shoves him off. Orton hits a dropkick for 2, and the pin is broken up by ADR. Sheamus comes in to fight off ADR, and now all four men are brawling. The referee signals for the bell, apparently throwing this match out.
WINNERS: No contest. Orton and ADR begin brawling outside. Sheamus eventually clotheslines Jericho to the floor as Orton clotheslines ADR over the barricade.
MATCH 2: AJ vs. Kaitlyn
Kaityln is so awkward-looking. I’m not sure why, but she is. AJ immediately takes Kaitlyn down with a tackle, then does it again. AJ dropkicks the knee and hits a shining wizard to get the 3.
WINNER: AJ. After the match, AJ continues the attack, punching the hell out of Kaitlyn. Daniel Bryan’s music hits, and he comes out, yessing it up. He climbs into the ring, smiling. Bryan says he’s impressed. What passion. What gusto. He had no idea she could be so ruthless, and with her best friend nonetheless. If she wanted to send him a message, he got it. He’s seeing her in an entirely new light. There has been so much angst between them since Wrestlemania, he’s ready to move past it at all. At Over the Limit, after he becomes the new WWE Champion, he’s looking forward to moving on…that is, he’s looking forward to moving on to Kaitlyn. Bryan then laughs at AJ as she is seething. She storms out of the ring, heading to the back as Bryan once again does the “Yes!” chant.
Up next, Bryan takes on the Big Show.
MATCH 3: Daniel Bryan vs. The Big Show
Less than a half-hour into the show, and we’re already on our third match. That’s gotta be some kind of record. Show backs Bryan into a corner and lands a gut shot. Into the next corner, and it’s a chop to the chest. Next corner, another gut shot. Next corner, another open-hand chop. Bryan gets his feet up on a charge and hits a flying knee strike from the second rope. Bryan tries for a kick, and Show blocks it, hitting him with another chop. Hip bump in the corner by Show, but Bryan counters the running shoulder with a dropkick to the knee. Bryan stomps Show down and cinches in the Yes! Lock. The bell immediately rings, as we John Laurinaitis ringing the bell. He announces Bryan as the winner via submission.
WINNER: Daniel Bryan. Johnny Ace climbs into the ring and calls Show out for making fun of him on Monday night. Show says, no, he doesn’t think it’s funny. Ace eventually forces him to say, “No, sir.” Ace heard the apology this past Monday, and Show didn’t mean it. As Eve said, outside of the WWE, there’s not much use for a 7-foot, 440 pound, 40 year-old freak. Show will apologize again this Monday night, and it better be a damn good one. Ace leaves the ring, but stops on the stage. He’s going to shock the world in nine days when he beats John Cena at OTL and shakes the WWE to its very foundation. People power!
Back from the break, Heath Slater is in the ring with a microphone. He wants to tell us about his opponent. Physically, he might be the epitome of evolution, but to Slater, he looks like a caveman with a pea brain. He hasn’t beaten anyone worthwhile, especially someone of Heath Slater’s caliber.
MATCH 4: Heath Slater vs. Ryback
Slater gets in Ryback’s face, so Ryback knocks him on his ass. Slater comes back with a kick and some punches. Ryback blocks a swinging neckbreaker attempt, and backs Slater into the corner with shoulder thrusts. Ryback picks him up and hits a spinning powerslam. Ryback levels Slater with a running clothesline and the running fisherman’s suplex to end it.
WINNER: Ryback. Somewhere, Crimson is crying in a bathtub.
Did You Know? Contrary to popular belief, Elvis Presley did not write a single one of his own songs.
Teddy Long is in the ring, doing ring introductions per orders of the GM. Alex Riley is already in the ring for this next match.
MATCH 5: Alex Riley vs. Antonio Cesaro (w/Aksana)
Cesaro gets a hilariously long ring introduction. Cesaro with a waistlock takedown to start. Headbutt sends Riley into the corner, followed by a running boot for 2. Cesaro locks in a cravat, but Riley fights out. Riley misses a dropkick off the ropes, and Cesaro hits a modified gutwrench suplex, followed by a kick to the shoulder blades. Cesaro locks in a double chicken wing, wearing Riley down. Riley fights back with punches and hits a clothesline off the ropes, followed by another clothesline. Riley looks for a spinebuster off the ropes, but Cesaro blocks it by yanking on Riley’s ear, then follows up with a nasty European uppercut. Cesaro cracks his neck before hitting Gotch-Style Neutralizer, and gets the 3.
WINNER: Antonio Cesaro. After the match, Aksana tells Long no hard feelings, but they’re just friends. They then make out in front of Long. She looked like hell here, BTW. At least Cesaro is awesome in every way.
We get a video package for John Cena’s work with the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Up next, Orton vs. ADR.
MATCH 6: Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo Rodriguez) vs. Randy Orton
ADR backs Orton into the corner, but Orton quickly fights out. ADR hits some headbutts and kicks before Orton gets in some more blows. ADR comes back with his own, stomping Orton down in the opposite corner. Again, it’s short-lived, as Orton comes back with stomps of his own and a slingshot under the bottom rope for 2. ADR slides the apron, and manages to hotshot the arm. ADR kicks the injured arm and gets 2. ADR yanks Orton’s arm over the middle rope, and behind the ref’s back, Rodriguez does the same thing. ADR goes for the pin, but only gets 2. A hammerlock front powerslam gets another 2. ADR goes into a top wristlock. Orton punches his way out, hits a pair of clotheslines and a powerslam. ADR slides to the apron. Orton goes for the DDT, but ADR counters and back drops Orton to the apron. Orton lands on his feet, and is met with a step-up enziguri by ADR for 2. Orton blocks a clothesline and counters with the 3.0 for 2. ADR comes back with the double-knee armbreaker. He sets up for the rolling jujigatame, but Orton shoves him off into the turnbuckle. Orton gets him on the second turnbuckle and connects with the suspended DDT. Orton sets up for the RKO, but Rodriguez is behind him on the turnbuckle. He jumps off, right into an RKO, causing the DQ.
WINNER VIA DISQUALIFICATION: Randy Orton. ADR attacks Orton from behind after the match and locks in the jujigatame. Several referees eventually pull him off.
MATCH 7: WWE Tag Team Co-Champion R-Truth (w/Kofi Kingston) vs. Jack Swagger (w/Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler)
Tie-up to start, with Swagger backing Truth to the corner, where he lands some elbows. Truth counters a corner whip into a hip toss before hitting a jumping legdrop for 2. We see AW and his crew (which now includes Mason Ryan) watching on in the back. Back in the ring, Swagger blocks a bodyscissors into a wheelbarrow suplex for 2. Swagger with a forearm to the back and a double chicken wing, which he turns into an armbar. Truth fights back and lands a DDT. Swagger misses a corner charge, allowing Truth to hit a pair of clotheslines and a bodyscissors into a pin for 2. Truth hits an uppercut, ducks a clothesline and hits the Lie Detector for another 2 as Ziggler pulls at Truth’s foot to get him to break it. Ziggler and Kingston brawl outside as Swagger levels Truth with a clothesline on the floor. Back in the ring, Truth with another uppercut. Behind the ref’s back, Kingston hits Swagger with Trouble in Paradise, which allows Truth to land the What’s Up for 3.
WINNER: R-Truth. The two teams have now traded wins, and it’s been announced they will square off at OTL for the WWE Tag Team titles.
Did You Know? Fortune cookies are not and have never been Chinese. They actually originated from Japan, and it’s unknown how exactly they were adopted as a mainstay in Chinese restaurants. A recent attempt to market them in China was rejected, as they are considered “too American” for authentic Chinese cuisine.
MATCH 8: WWE United States Champion Santino Marella and Zack Ryder vs. Titus O’Neil and Darren Young
We get a cut-away promo from Marella and Ryder, arguing over their team name (either “Co-Bro” or “Mar-Ryder”). Marella gets O’Neil in a headlock, which is quickly counted by a shoulderblock. O’Neil fights out of a waistlock and hits a bodyslam. Young tags in. Marella blocks his punch and hits his own. Young counters the splits with a neckbreaker and a legdrop. Back suplex by Young as he tags in O’Neil. O’Neil picks Young up and drops him in a gourdbuster position on top of Marella. Young tags back in, and he hits a legdrop before going into a rear chinlock. Marella fights out and hits a stunner before tagging in Ryder. Ryder takes Young down with a clothesline and a pair of knees in the corner. Ryder hits the Broski Boot, but only gets 2. Ryder goes off the ropes, but gets tripped up by O’Neil, allowing Young to hit a clothesline. Marella starts to chase O’Neil off with the Cobra outside, but is clotheslined by Young. Ryder then dropkicks O’Neil through the ropes before decking Young. Back in the ring, Ryder goes for some mounted punches, but Young slides out and trips Ryder up. O’Neil tags in, and they hit a pretty weak version of the Demolition Decapitation (f only slightly better than the version David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty used, but only slightly) for 3.
WINNERS: Titus O’Neil and Darren Young. Why is that the go-to move for boring tag teams? Demolition must be so embarrassed. After the match, O’Neil orders Lilian Garcia to announce them as winners once again. O’Neil calls them future WWE Tag Team Champions. Young says the difference between them and all of the other tag teams is millions of dollars. Then they do a stupid “millions of dollars” chant to themselves.
Matt Striker is in the back with Damien Sandow. He asks Sandow about not competing last week. Sandow apologizes to Striker if he was confused last week. And to think, Striker used to be an educator. These people yearn for enlightenment, and who do they turn to? In short, there is no ones. Others attempt, but they are false prophets. Sandow basically says he is our savior before saying “You’re welcome.” Honestly, what I type here can’t do Sandow’s promos justice. They are so damn good.
We get a video for WWE Download one of their numerous YouTube shows.
Hot damn. We’re on our 9th match tonight. This has got to be some kind of record for a televised wrestling show.
MATCH 9: Brodus Clay (w/Cameron and Naomi) vs. Hunico (w/Camacho)
Hunico is cutting a promo on his way out, saying his name means he’s #1 one. The fans don’t understand someone like him, because they’ve been given everything in their lives. The two heels attack Clay from behind before the match even starts, with Camacho eventually exiting the ring. Clay is now laughing and gyrating as the bell rings. Brodus no-sells some shots from Hunico before taking him down with a headbutt, then beating him down in the corner. Hunico gets his feet up on a corner charge, but runs right into a back body drop. Clay headbutts Camacho off the apron, then drops Hunico with an exploder suplex and hits the running splash follows for 3.
WINNER: Brodus Clay.
MATCH 10: Chris Jericho vs. World Champion Sheamus (non-title)
Sheamus starts off clubbing Jericho across the back, then throws him to two different corners. Jericho fights back with kicks and punches. Sheamus reverses things and lays in some more punches. Jericho gets his boot up on a corner charge, then comes at Sheamus with more punches. Jericho misses a corner charge, sending him to the apron, where Sheamus drops the forearms across the chest before shouldering Jericho to the floor. Commercials.
WINNER VIA DISUQUALIFICATION: Chris Jericho. ADR then gets in the ring and locks in the rolling jujigatame on Sheamus. Randy Orton eventually comes down and attacks ADR, and the faces take turns beating him up. Sheamus pulls Orton off and they begin to argue. Jericho sneaks in and hits the Codebreaker on ADR. Orton follows up with an RKO on him, which is then followed by a Brogue Kick by Sheamus. Orton and Sheamus continue to stare each other down.
End of show.
While the match quality on this show was so-so, this is the most (quantity-wise) in-ring action I’ve seen on a wrestling show in years, so kudos for that.
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Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you next week.