This week on WWE Friday Night SmackDown former WWE world heavyweight champions Batista and Sheamus square off and Bray Wyatt takes on The Big Show.
MATCH 1: Sin Cara vs. Damien Sandow
The two lock up, and Sandow hits a kneelift before throwing Cara to the corner for a clothesline. He hits a snap suplex for one, then nails some forearms to the chest before applying a rear chinlock. Sandow hits a forearm to the back and sends Cara in for another corner clothesline. Cara gets whipped across again, but avoids the clothesline and quickly rolls Sandow up for 3.
[adinserter block=”1″]WINNER: Sin Cara. I don’t get it. Who did Sandow piss off to become a glorified jobber like this?
Renee Young is standing by with the Big Show. She asks his thoughts about tonight against Bray Wyatt, and Show says what the Wyatts did to John Cena on Monday was twisted. They are intimidating, and they make you question yourself, because some of what Bray Wyatt says makes sense. That’s how they suck you in, so tonight, Show has a giant problem on his hands. Then again, so do the Wyatts.
MATCH 2: WWE United States Champion Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins (w/Roman Reigns) vs. Jinder Mahal and Drew McIntyre (w/Heath Slater)
Rollins and Mahal start the match by circling each other. They trade a few quick holds until Mahal hits a back elbow. Rollins answers with a dropkick, then hits Two Amigos before tagging in Ambrose. He hits another suplex and Ambrose nails a low clothesline for 2. He follows up with a power-drive elbow, then tags in Rollins. Mahal comes back with some punches and throws Rollins to his corner. Drew tags in and hits a suplex before taunting Reigns on the outside. Rollins backflips out of a suplex and ducks a clothesline before tagging in Ambrose. Ambrose knocks Mahal off the apron before going after Drew. He hits a kitchen sink and follows up with a running seated dropkick against the ropes. Mahal comes back in, but gets sent to the floor. Rollins takes him out with a slingshot plancha. In the ring, Drew knocks Ambrose into the ropes with a punch, but Ambrose bounces himself back off the ropes and nails Drew in the face. Ambrose hits the move now called Dirty Deeds (his headlock driver) and gets the 3.
WINNERS: Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins.
Kane and the New-Age Outlaws walk out onto the stage, and Kane says what the Shield just did to 3MB is exactly what they’ll do to the Shield at WM. But they’ll do it like men instead of ambushing them, like the Shield’s next opponents.
MATCH 3: Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins (w/Roman Reigns) vs. Rybaxel (Curtis Axel and Ryback)
After some commercials, Ryback is nailing Ambrose with a clothesline. Axel tags in, but Ambrose trips him and applies a modified Regal Stretch. Kane and the Outlaws are still on the stage, so I’m sure you know where this will go next. Axel comes back with a kneelift and tosses Ambrose outside. Ambrose lands on his feet on the apron and knocks Ryback to the floor. Axel nails him from behind with a clothesline. On the floor, Axel nails some rights before throwing Ambrose back in. Ryback tags in and hits a bodyslam. He goes to the middle rope and hits a splash after tagging in Axel, who then comes in with an elbow from the middle for 2. Ambrose gets thrown to the corner as Ryback tags back in. Rybaxel double-team Ambrose with rights before Ryback gets a 2-count. Ambrose counters a delayed vertical suplex with a DDT. Rollins and Axel tag in. Rollins nails Axel before knocking Ryback off the apron. He hits Axel with a middle rope blockbuster, then nails a forearm in the corner and a dropkick off the ropes. Axel backdrops him to the outside, but he lands on his feet and nails a kick. He kicks Ryback on the outside before Ambrose takes him out with a dive off the steps. Axel is backdropped to the floor, and Rollins wipes both members of Rybaxel out with a somersault plancha. Back in the ring, Rollins goes for a springboard, but Axel blocks him and looks for the Perfect-Plex. Rollins escapes and nails a Ghetto Blaster before hitting the jumping curb stomp for 3.
WINNERS: Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins. As Rollins stares at Kane and the Outlaws, he takes Rybaxel out with a suicide dive on the floor. Ryback gets thrown into the ring, and Reigns nails him with a Superman Punch. The Shield then hit him with a triple powerbomb.
Okay, I figured for sure they’d have to face the Real Americans after that. Guess I was wrong.
Batista comes out, and every time he comes out, he somehow looks more douchetastic than the last time. At least he finally swapped the skinny jeans out for cargo pants. I guess splitting his pants on national TV was the final straw there. He says that, for years, since the day he left, everyone begged him to come back to WWE (nope). So, here he is, and people boo him. You boo him, a 6-time World Champion, winner of the 2014 Royal Rumble (and 2005, BTW), headliner of WMXXX, and you boo him while cheering for a sawed-off, goat-faced wannabe like Daniel Bryan. How does that make sense? He considers that a personal slap in the face, which brings him to this past Monday night on RAW. We see the footage of Stephanie McMahon slapping Batista after he more or less called her a slut. Back to Batista, he calls that pretty funny, but he doesn’t think Randy Orton is laughing, and WM, Bryan and Triple H won’t be laughing. Whether you cheer for him or not, he’s walking out of WM the new WWE World Champion. He doesn’t care who he beats. Of all of his possible opponents, Stephanie hits harder than all of them.
This of course sends Trips out, and he is smiling as he walks down to the ring. He tells Batista to leave his wife out of this. Batista says she’s the reason Trips is in a suit and the COO of WWE, and Trips wouldn’t have anything if he didn’t marry the boss’ daughter. Trips says Batista shouldn’t be concerned about that. This is the “Reality Era”, and in this era, people don’t need to be concerned about that stuff. It doesn’t matter how he got the power; the important thing is he has the power. Why is Batista making this personal? Batista says Trips is doing the same thing, saying he’s living off his past glories. He reminds Trips of some of those, including the fact that Trips has never beaten him in a match. Now Trips wants to implant himself or Bryan into the main event. He came back to win the title, and Trips won’t stop him. Trips agrees he’s never beaten Batista, but that’s ancient history. He takes credit for turning Batista into “The Animal”. But then Batista got success, got soft, got lazy and quit. He went to Hollywood and watched stuntmen do all the hard work. Then, for whatever reason, he came back. Since he’s been back, however, Trips has yet to see “The Animal”. He showed the world what he could still do a couple weeks ago with Bryan, a guy Batista couldn’t finish off. When is Batista gonna show what he can still do? Trips’ help has worked out in the past and is willing to help him again tonight. In this very ring, Batista will compete with a guy that reminds him of the old Batista, that being Sheamus.
MATCH 4: Goldust vs. Fandango (w/Summer Rae)
Goldust applies a side headlock before shouldering Fandango off the ropes. They crisscross until Goldust hits an armdrag. He nails an uppercut in the corner, but then gets sent into the opposite buckles for 2. Fandango hits a kick to the head before knocking Goldust down and applying a rear chinlock. Goldust tries to fight out, but gets whipped down by his head. Fandango nails a forearm to the back of the head and applies a rear chinlock. Goldust counters into a back suplex. He ducks a clothesline and hits a pair of his own before hitting the Goldust Uppercut. He follows up with an inverted atomic drop, a boot to the head and some corner mounted punches. Fandango reverses a corner whip, but then runs right into a powerslam for 2. He heads outside, and Goldust follows, nailing Fandango by the announce desk. Rae tries to step between them, but fails as Goldust rolls Fandango back in. She causes a distraction as Goldust tries to get back in, and Fandango hits him with a boot to the side of the head for 3.
WINNER: Fandango. God, Summer Rae is disgusting. She’s got a stick body, a butt face and a voice that I would rather hear nails across a chalkboard over.
MATCH 5: Batista vs. Sheamus
We Trips watching this on a monitor in his office. Batista immediately goes for a rope-break in the corner before Sheamus can even touch him. Sheamus grabs him in a lock-up, and Batista gets another corner break.They lock up again, and Batista applies a side headock. Sheamus comes back with a shoulder off the ropes, and Batista rolls to the floor. Sheamus heads outside and chases him back into the ring, where Batista nails a kick. He follows up with some shoulder thrusts in the corner before knocking him down with rights and a kick. Sheamus comes back with some rights to the head. Batista reverses a corner whip, sending Sheamus chest-first into the buckles. He hits a short-arm clothesline. Sheamus comes back with a boot and some more rights. Batista boots him in the gut, then hits a kneelift to the face. Sheamus gets corner-whipped, and Batista knocks him down with a corner clothesline. Batista drops to the floor, where he hits an elbow on the apron. Back in the ring, Sheamus boots him out of the corner before running into a spinebuster. Batista flexes his Hogan bitch tits, then turns around into a clothesline by Sheamus. Sheamus hits a pair of Irish Hammer, a running shoulder in the corner and a running kneelift. Batista rolls to the apron, and Sheamus goes for the Ten Beats of the Bodhran, but Batista counters with a hotshot. He picks Sheamus up, but Sheamus nails him and hits the Ten Beats on the second attempt. He then picks Batista up on his shoulder from the apron and drops him in a powerslam. He signals for the Brogue Kick, but Batista sees it coming and bails to the floor. Sheamus goes after him, and Batista nails him in the gut with a chair.
WINNER VIA DISQUALIFICATION: Sheamus. Batista nails two more chair shots to the back, then proceeds to choke Sheamus with the chair. He picks him up and throws him head-first into the ring post, then rolls him back in the ring, where he hits the Batista Bomb. He grabs a mic and asks if Trips is happy. He’s leaving WMXXX the new WWE World Champion. Deal with it.
We get yet another, longer, more awesome video package for the Wyatt Family/Cena feud. This cuts over to the Wyatts on the TitanTron. Bray says give a man a mask, and he will reveal his true face. Nobody’s innocent, John. They’re all guilty. They’ve all worn a mask, whether it was to hide their wrongdoings or fit into a social scene. It makes no difference because there’s a problem. If you hide behind the mask for too long, it becomes you. To remove the mask is to remove your own skin. He has broken you, John. His sword has left a scar on your soul that will never heal. Tonight, this sword will slay a giant. A gift for you, John. Can’t you hear her calling your name? Can’t you hear her sweet song serenading your mind? He’ll never forget what she said the first time he heard it: all secrets will come to light underneath the shade of the cypress tree. He’s got the whole world in his hands.
MATCH 6: WWE Divas Champion AJ Lee and Tamina Snuka vs. The Bella Twins (Brie and Nikki)
Vickie Guerrero is on commentary for this match. AJ and Brie start, with Brie hitting a boot to the gut and a northern lights suplex for 2. Nikki tags in and hits a dropkick, followed by a terrible kick from the middle rope for 2. She applies a side headlock, and Tamina makes a blind tag, hitting a Samoan drop on Nikki. AJ asks to be tagged in, and Tamina obliges. AJ covers Nikki for 2, then applies a guillotine. Nikki counters into a powerslam, but AJ turns that into a sleeper. Nikki breaks it by backing into the buckles, and Tamina tags herself in. She nails Nikki with a clothesline and then misses a splash from the middle rope. Brie tags in, hits a clothesline and a dropkick. She hits a knee against the ropes, then a running knee to the face. Brie comes off the middle rope with a missile dropkick, and Tamina slides to the floor. Brie nails AJ as Tamina hits Brie. Tamina and AJ argue, and Tamina forces the tag before shoving AJ into the ring. AJ turns around and gets hit with a sit-out facebuster for 3.
WINNERS: The Bella Twins.
We get some video from earlier today of Emma and Santino Marella having dinner at a restaurant. Emma calls him a “friend with benefits”, then explains that the meal and wine are benefits as Santino is confused. He wants to look in her eyes, and she thinks he wants a staring contest. Emma stops him and says she knows what he’ll say, and he doesn’t have to worry, because she feels the same way, and that’s that they will always be the best of friends. Santino starts to say what he came here to say, but he’s getting the dry heaves. She gives him some wine, and he accidentally spits it all over her before running tot he bathroom.
MATCH 7: Jack Swagger (w/Cesaro and Zeb Colter) vs. WWE Tag Team Co-Champion Jimmy Uso (w/Jey Uso)
It’s announced the Usos will defend the titles against the Real Americans, Rybaxel and Los Matadores in a Fatal 4-Way at WMXXX. They lock up, and Swagger backs him into the corner before hitting a series of kneelifts. Swagger applies a side headlock, but Jimmy escapes and throws Swagger to the floor. He takes Swagger with an over-the-top suicide dive, then rolls Swagger back in. Up top, Jimmy hits a cross-body for 2. He lands a mule kick to the gut and another kick to the face before hitting a jumping side kick off the ropes. He nails a couple of chops in the corner, then hits a corkscrew moonsault off a corner whip reversal for 2. Swagger is slumped in the corner, and Jimmy looks for the running hip bump. Swagger gets up and nails a chopblock to the front of the knee, then applies the Patriot Lock and cinches it in until Jimmy taps.
WINNER: Jack Swagger.
MATCH 8: Mark Henry vs. The Miz
After RAW, Miz is a heel again this week. That’ll change again within a week or so, because not even WWE’s creative team gives a drizzling sh*t about Miz. Henry points at the WM sign, and Miz boots him in the gut. He hits a few punches and tries to throw Henry out. Henry puts on the breaks and clubs him across the back. Miz gets sent into two sets of buckles, and Henry catches him for the WSS. Miz escapes and begins kicking Henry in the knee. He ducks a clothesline and hits a seated dropkick to the knee before dropping some elbows and a series of knees. He hits a running boot to the face for 1, then applies a modified ankle lock. Henry kicks him off and gets to his feet, where he boots Miz out of the corner. Henry nails a pair of clotheslines and an over-the-shoulder powerslam. Henry hits a Thump, then goes to the corner for a Vader Bomb, which misses. Miz goes back to the knee and signals for the figure-4. Henry kicks him off into the ropes. Miz recovers and dumps Henry over the top rope. Henry drags him outside and throws him into the steps before launching him into the barricade. Henry rolls Miz back into the ring, climbs in and hits the World’s Strongest Slam for 3.
WINNER: Mark Henry.
[adinserter block=”2″]MATCH 9: The Big Show vs. Bray Wyatt (w/Luke Harper and Erick Rowan)
Wyatt gives the rest of the Family some orders before entering the ring, then charges at Show once he does. Show shoves him into the corner, and Wyatt laughs before circling Show. He nails some rights, so Show grabs him by the head and throws him to the floor. Wyatt is still smiling, and he tells Show, “That was nice!” Back in the ring, Wyatt shoves Show and then screams at him. Show throws him to the corner for some body blows before hitting an open-hand chop to the chest. Show knocks him back to the corner with a headbutt. Wyatt recovers and hits a right before kicking Show in the knee. Show comes back with a boot and goes for an elbow, which misses. Wyatt lays the boots to Show, then nails him with an uppercut before stomping him down and hitting an elbow. Wyatt hits a running senton for 2 as Show powers out. Wyatt falls on his back and crab walks before rolling onto his feet. Show comes back with a pair of clotheslines, then misses a running hip bump in the corner. Wyatt capitalizes with an avalanche, then blocks a boot and hits a leg stunner. He hits a running forearm off the ropes, and now Rowan is distracing the ref, which allows Harper to nail Show with a right. Wyatt picks Show up and hits Sister Abigail for 3.
WINNER: Bray Wyatt. Damn! Talk about making Wyatt look strong going into WM.
End of show.
Dustin Nichols is a freelance writer, and you can keep track of all of his work on his Facebook page, which can be found at www.facebook.com/DustinNicholsWriter. Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out his mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:
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