As much as I hate to admit it, the opening theme for Smackdown is catchy.
Now that I’ve embarrassed myself, let’s get onto the recap.
Poor Sandow. He should be in a better place in WWE. Granted, so should Ziggler, but Sandow has become a glorified jobber, and he’s so much better than that. They lock up, and Sandow immediately hits a series of kneelifts, followed by a side-Russian legsweep. He drops an elbow off the ropes, then nails Ziggler with a headbutt. Another headbutt follows, Ziggler ducks a clothesline, leapfrogs over Sandow and hits a dropkick that sends Sandow to the floor. Ziggler heads outside and slams Sandow face-first into the apron. Ziggler goes up top, and Sandow kicks him off the ropes, with Ziggler going head-first into the ring steps on the way down. That looked and sounded pretty nasty. Ziggler pulls himself back up into the ring, and Sandow immediately goes on the attack with rights, stomps and kneedrops. He grinds his boot into Ziggler’s face, then drops a knee for 2. Sandow applies a rear chinlock, and Ziggler elbows his way out. Sandow recovers and hits a quick back elbow before dropping his knee into Ziggler’s ribs. He pulls down the kneepad and drops another to Ziggler’s chest before throwing him to the floor. Sandow heads outside and sends Ziggler into the barricade before rolling Ziggler back into the ring for 2. He pulls Ziggler to his feet and nails another right before hitting a snapmare and driving his knee into Ziggler’s spine. He hits a couple of forearms to the chest before applying a rear chinlock. Ziggler fights out, but then gets hit with a headbutt. He puts on the breaks off an Irish whip and nails a leaping DDT. Both men pull themselves to their feet, Ziggler ducks a clothesline and hits a cross-body into some punches. He follows up with corner mounted punches, then hits a neckbreaker for 2. Ziggler misses the rocker dropper, and Sandow hits an Edge-O-Matic for 2. Sandow misses a flipping neckbreaker, and Ziggler nails the rocker dropper on the second try, which is good enough for 3.
WINNER: Dolph Ziggler. I’m going to go ahead and make Ziggler my dark horse pick in the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal. I’m pretty sure the Big Show will be the winner, though.
Kane makes his way down to the ring and he says this past Monday was a glorious night for WWE. We then see the video of Triple H destroying Daniel Bryan at the end of the night, with Kane calling it the end of the Yes! Movement. Back to Kane after that 4-minute video, Kane says Bryan had this coming. He’s an egomaniac that lives off the adulation the ignorant members of the WWE Universe feed him. If they want to blame anyone for what happened on RAW, they need to look in the mirror. It’s all their fault. Bryan thought he was bigger than WWE and the Authority, but on Monday, everyone learned an important lesson: no one is bigger than the Authority. What Triple H did to Bryan is something that should have happened long ago, and Bryan deserved it. So, let that be a lesson to all the fans. The truth of the matter is that some people are just better than others. The Authority is better than Bryan, and they are also better than all of the fans. What happened to the Yes! Movement was something the fans all deserved. Now then, Bryan has a letter from Trips that he is supposed to read. Basically, it says that Trips regrets that he has taken matters into his own hands in regards to Bryan. It then goes on about how Trips will strike back if he’s pushed too far, and there must be respect for authority in WWE. Thank you, and welcome to Smackdown.
MATCH 2: Fandango (w/Summer Rae) vs. Fernando (w/Diego and El Torito)
After some commercials, we come back to Fandango nailing some short-arm chops, followed by a back body drop and a knee to the left arm for 2. Fandango applies a rear chinlock, and Fernando counters with a jawbreaker. Fandango pops up with a spinning heel kick off the ropes for 2, then mounts the middle rope, missing a kneedrop. Fandango then misses an attack in the corner, and Fernando hits him with a flying headbutt off the ropes. He hits another one, nails a right, slides under Fandango’s legs and snaps off a hurricanrana. He ducks a clothesline and hits a springboard back elbow from the middle. Rae causes a distraction on the apron, allowing Fandango to nail Fernando from behind. Torito sees it and chases after her. She jumps on the apron where Fandango is, and Fandango tries to comfort her. The temporary distraction allows Fernando to roll him up in a schoolboy for 3.
The Wyatt Family appear on the TitanTron, and Luke Harper says it is not safe for John Cena here. Tonight, he is the reaper, and he will carry out HIS will. Bray Wyatt enters frame and says he’s everywhere and everything. It makes sense that Cena is afraid of him. Fear him, for he was born of this world’s hatred and feeds off its sins. He was born the color red in a black and white world. He is your mother’s tears from the love he couldn’t repay her. When the buzzards are circling overhead, he is the sad truth waiting down below. He has Cena’s truth here in the palm of his hand, and Cena’s fear is his power. His power is his control. He is Cena’s king, and he will rule Cena’s entire world. Run.
MATCH 3-Fatal 4-Way to determine new #1 contenders for the WWE Tag Team Championship: WWE United States Champion Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins (w/Roman Reigns) vs. Rybaxel (Curtis Axel and Ryback) vs. Jinder Mahal and Drew McIntyre (w/Heath Slater) vs. The Real Americans (Cesaro and Jack Swagger, w/Zeb Colter)
Axel and Ambrose start with Axel applying a waistlock. Ambrose counters with a side headlock before hitting a shoulder off the ropes. Ambrose blocks a hiptoss and hits a clothesline. He follows up with a bodyslam and a power-drive elbow for 2. Ambrose nails a chop and a series of strikes. Axel comes back with a boot and tags in Mahal, who gets hit with a drop toe-hold. Ambrose nails a crossface out of a leglock, then hits a kitchen sink. Rollins tags in, Ambrose hits a running seated dropkick and Rollins nails a clothesline for 2. Ryback tags in off Mahal before he gets hit with a Rollins dropkick. Ryback nails Rollins, then clubs him across the back. Ryback tries for a vertical suplex, but Rollins breaks it with knees to the head. He goes for a cross-body, but Ryback catches him. Ambrose dropkicks Rollins onto Ryback, then two clothesline him to the floor. Axel gets nailed on the apron, and 2/3 of the Shield hit stereo suicide dives. Commercials.
Back from the break, Mahal and Drew are in control of Ambrose as Mahal gets a 2-count before applying a front chancery. Axel tags in off Mahal, and they double-team Ambrose before arguing. Axel stomps Ambrose down before foot-choking him under the bottom rope. Ryback tags in and hits a forearm across the apron before going back into the ring and stomping Ambrose in the back. He hits a bodyslam and a jumping splash for 2. Ryback boots Ambrose in the head, then knee-chokes him over the middle rope. Ryback nails a shoulder in the corner, then tries to ram Ambrose back-first into the buckles. Ambrose turns it into a sunset flip for 2. Ryback pops up and nails a clothesline, then hits a quick suplex. He signals for the Meat Hook, which connects. Swagger tags himself in off Ryback, then immediately goes for the pin, getting 2 as Ryback breaks it up. Swagger hits the Swagger Bomb and Cesaro tags in to hit the leapfrog double-stomp for 2. Rollins breaks up the pin, and Cesaro boots him away before assaulting Ambrose with a crossface and a rear chinlock. Ambrose elbows it and now the two trade shots. Ambrose nearly goes to the floor off a European uppercut, but recovers and hits a clothesline. Swagger tags in and pulls Ambrose away from a tag, but Ambrose rolls him up for 2 before hitting a quick DDT. Rollins and Mahal tag in. Rollins hits a high knee, then dropkicks Drew off the apron. He hits Mahal with a blockbuster from the middle rope, then knocks Axel off the apron before low-bridging Ryback. He nails Mahal with a corner forearm, ducks a clothesline and hits a somersault plancha on Ryback on the floor. On the apron, Rollins flips over Mahal and mule kicks him. He goes for his jumping curb stomp, but Slater grabs his foot on the outside. A moment later, Reigns cuts through Slater with a spear. In the ring, Rollins hits a jumping spin kick and nails the jumping curb stomp for 2 as Drew breaks up the pin. Ambrose comes in and sends Drew to the floor. A moment later, Kane shows up and begins assaulting Reigns, and the referee rings the bell.
WINNERS: No contest. I think? Anyway, Kane and Reigns go out at it as the Americans begin double-teaming Rollins in the ring. Ryback begins beating up Ambrose, and now the New-Age Outlaws are helping Kane assault Reigns on the stage. In the ring, Cesaro hits the Neutralizer on Rollins, and Ryback takes Ambrose out with Shell Shocked. Reigns is fighting off Kane and the Outlaws on the stage, but eventually they start triple-teaming him and beat him down. The Outlaws hold Reigns up, and Kane nails him with a running boot. The trio then head down to the ring as the other guys all leave. They begin attacking Ambrose and Rollins, and Billy Gunn hits the Fameasser on Rollins. Kane then nails Ambrose with a chokeslam as Reigns is crawling down to the ring. The Road Dogg meets him on the ramp and kicks him in the head. Gunn joins him and they roll Reigns into the ring. Kane picks him up and hits another chokeslam.
So, it took, what? 10 guys to beat up the three members of the Shield. No, that doesn’t make the Shield look weak. It in fact makes them look strong. It paints them as being so dangerous they have to be heavily outnumbered before they go down. THAT is how you build a strong faction without destroying the credibility of the rest of the roster at the same time *cough* nWo *cough*.
Oh, joy and happy day. It’s “MizTV” time. He blathers on about the WM battle royal, reminds us he’s undefeated at WM, then announces he’ll be in the battle royal. He then claims he’ll win, but no one is buying what he’s selling. Anyway, his guest is someone who is the odds-on favorite to win the battle royal, that being the Big Show. Miz asks the fans if Show will win, and they cheer. He thanks the fans and then thanks Miz for having him on the show. He says he’s always been a big fan of Andre the Giant. He’s always been compared to Andre, and he can’t think of a better way to cement his legacy than win the battle royal. Miz reminds him he has one of the worst records in WM history, with 9 losses. Show says he was lacing his boot and selling out arenas when Miz was still popping zits in high school, so he better watch his mouth before Show closes it for him. Miz then says Show isn’t the only guest tonight, then introduces more competitors in the battle royal. Titus O’Neil comes out, followed by Kofi Kingston, Alberto Del Rio, Big E, Cody Rhodes, Mark Henry, Goldust and Sheamus, who comes out with a mic. He tells Miz to shut up. They’ve got a ring of amped-up superstars, so let’s quit the talking and fight. Miz says they all want to prove they’ll win the trophy, and he can’t think of a better to prove it than right now…by taking out the biggest threat. Show then grabs Miz by the throat, and everyone gangs up on Show. Miz drops to the floor. Sheamus dumps Rhodes. Show dumps ADR. Sheamus tosses Big E out onto the apron before clotheslining him to the floor. Goldust is tossed by Show. Kofi hits Henry with Trouble in Paradise, and Sheamus nails him with a Brogue Kick. Titus gets sent, followed by Henry, followed by Kofi. Show and Sheamus are the last two standing. Sheamus ducks a clothesline and begins nailing Show. Show comes back with body blows, misses a clothesline and gets hit with an Irish Hammer. Show blocks a Brogue Kick and puts Sheamus on the apron, trying to dump him out. Miz comes back in and tries to eliminate Show. Show eliminates Sheamus with a headbutt, then tosses Miz backwards. He goes to press Miz over the top, but Miz escapes. Show goozles him and tosses him to the floor with one hand.
MATCH 4: Alberto Del Rio vs. Intercontinental Champion Big E (non-title)
ADR nails a kick to the gut and begins clubbing E in the corner. E reverses things and nails some rights before whipping ADR across the ring and hitting him with a running shoulder thrust for 2. ADR reverses a corner whip, blocks a pair of boots and hits a suspended double stomp on the ropes. ADR nails a kick to the spine for 1, then applies a rear chinlock. E gets to his feet and rams ADR into the corner, but then runs into a pair of boots. ADR applies the jujigatame over the top rope, breaking the hold at 4. He gets back in the ring, gets hit with two clotheslines, misses one of his own and gets caught in a belly-to-belly suplex. E goes for the Big Ending, but ADR escapes and hits a Backstabber for 2. He signals for the rolling jujigatame, but E shoves him off. He then misses a shoulder in the corner, going shoulder-first into the ring post. ADR nails a thrust kick to the face and gets 3.
WINNER: Alberto Del Rio.
Earlier today, we see a makeup lady covering up a shiner on Santino Marella’s face, a result of an accidental fight that broke out in catering. He then talks about his love for Emma as Emma walks in on the conversation. She surprises him, and he falls out of his chair before accidentally headbutting her and running away.
MATCH 5: Natalya and Summer Rae vs. the Bella Twins (Brie and Nikki)
AJ Lee is on commentary, still flanked by Tamina Snuka. Nikki and Nattie start the match, with Nattie getting a quick one count. She blocks a kick, misses a discus clothesline and gets hit with…something for a 2-count. Rae tags herself in and receives a back heel trip for 2. Rae sends Nikki to the outside and whips her to the apron before working on her left leg. Rae gets a 2-count, then gets knocked on her ass. Brie tags in, hits a clothesline and a dropkick. She hits a sloppy knee against the ropes, then another. She mounts the middle rope, and Rae hits a roundhouse, forgetting to bend her knee in the process. Nattie tags herself in and now there is a shoving match. Brie uses the distraction to hit a top rope missile dropkick on both divas, and a sit-out facebuster gets 3.
WINNERS: The Bella Twins. After the match, Nattie screams at Rae before kicking her in the back. The Bellas then taunt AJ from the ring.
All of the wrestlers involved in the 4-way earlier (save for the Shield) are in Kane’s office, talking amongst themselves. Kane walks in and congratulates them on a job well done, then rewards Rybaxel a WWE Tag Team Championship match. Zeb Colter reminds Kane that the Real Americans did more than their share tonight, not to mention they beat the Usos on Monday night. Kane says that’s a good point and awards them a championship match as well. 3MB are still there, and Kane asks what they want. Slater says they were there, too, so Kane gives all three of them slots in the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal. The Outlaws walk in and shake Kane’s hand. The Road Dogg says they left the Shield laying, and it’s great to be back to restore order. Kane says he knew he could count on them, and Dogg says he always can.
Lana and Alexander Rusev come out for their usual routine.
As the Wyatts come out, it cuts to a video of the history of this feud, which is quite good. Back to the arena, Harper has entered the ring. Harper ducks a clothesline and shoves Cena into the corner. He nails a series of strikes before raking the eyes. Cena comes back with rights before sending Harper across the ring. Harper avoids the charge and hits a jumping neckbreaker off the rebound for 2. Harper nails a European uppercut, then a standard one. He rakes at Cena’s face once more, then applies the Gator Roll before turning it into a rear chinlock. Cena counters with a back suplex to break the hold. He then ducks a clothesline and loads the spaceship with the rocket fuel. Harper catches him the second time, hits an inverted atomic drop and nails Cena with a superkick for 2. Harper goes for a bodyslam, but Cena slides out and goes for the STF. Harper kicks him away, Cena recovers, then hits the Proto-Bomb. Rowan comes closer to the ring as Cena drops the Five-Knuckle Shuffle. He goes for the AA on Harper, but Harper escapes and nails a big boot for 2. Harper charges at Cena in the corner, misses a big boot and falls to the floor outside. He quickly recovers and gets back in the ring, and Cena immediately locks him in the STF. Harper escapes by biting Cena’s arm, then picks him up in a back suplex only to whip him down in a facebuster for 2. Harper goes for a powerbomb on Cena, but Cena counters into a hurricanrana. Harper quickly gets up and hits one of his own before landing a Michinoku driver #2 for 2. Harper goes for the discus clothesline, but Cena ducks, hits the Attitude Adjustment and gets the 3.
WINNER: John Cena. The rest of the Wyatts immediately hit the ring, but Cena escapes to the outside. Bray Wyatt laughs as Cena celebrates on the entrance ramp.
End of show.
Dustin Nichols is a freelance writer, and you can keep track of all of his work on his Facebook page, which can be found at www.facebook.com/DustinNicholsWriter. Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out his mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:
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