This week’s WWE Friday Night SmackDown features a big showdown between The Big Show and Kane.
MATCH 1: The Real Americans (Cesaro and Jack Swagger, w/Zeb Colter) vs. Goldust and Cody Rhodes
Goldust and Swagger start the match with a lock-up. Swagger applies a side headlock, then shoulders Goldust off the ropes. Goldust comes back with a hiptoss, a boot and a Goldust Uppercut. Rhodes tags in, and Goldust hits a drop toe-hold while Rhodes drops a knee for 1. Swagger counters an arm wringer by shoving Rhodes into the corner. Cesaro tags in and nails a European uppercut. Rhodes escapes a back suplex, ducks a clothesline and hits a misdirection clothesline, followed by the Goldust uppercut. He nails Swagger on the apron with a missile dropkick, then backdrops Cesaro to the floor. He goes for a suicide dive, but Cesaro catches him mid-air and hits a tilt-a-whirl sidewalk slam on the apron before hitting a slingshot stomp back into the ring. Rhodes gets thrown to the corner, and Swagger tags in. He hits a series of kneelifts as Cesaro nails Rhodes in the back. Cesaro is back in, and the Americans hit a double back elbow for 2. Cesaro applies a rear chinlock, then yanks Rhodes down to the mat by his tights. Cesaro has turned the chinlock into a sleeper, but Rhodes breaks free. Cesaro nails another European uppercut and tags in Swagger. Rhodes tries to fight his way out of the corner, but Swagger stops him with a bearhug. Rhodes breaks the hold by boxing the ears and nails the right, but Swagger quickly comes back with a clothesline for 2. Cesaro tags in, and the Americans stomp Rhodes down. Swagger comes back in, and he stomps Rhodes down in the corner. Rhodes fights back from his knees and trades blows with Swagger. Cesaro manages to tag in, and Rhodes kicks him before backdropping Swagger to the floor. He goes for a tag, but Cesaro catches him and hits the Cesaro Swing for 7 revolutions. Swagger back in, and he fails at the Swagger Bomb as Rhodes gets his feet in Swagger’s face. Rhodes goes for a sunset flip, but Swagger tags out before getting pulled down. Cesaro stomps a mudhole in Rhodes, then picks him up as Swagger makes a blind tag. Cesaro isn’t happy. Swagger snaps off a suplex, and Cesaro tags himself back in, hitting a delayed vertical suplex in front of Swagger. Swagger tags himself back in, and Cesaro’s beginning to lose it. The Americans argue as Rhodes crawls to his corner. Swagger knocks Goldust off the apron, then turns around into a flapjack by Rhodes. Rhodes ducks a clothesline and pins Swagger with a backslide for 3.
Triple H makes his way down to the ring. He says he’s sure Monday night was one of the greatest nights of the fans’ lives. He also knows that was the greatest night of Daniel Bryan’s career. He’s happy everyone had their moment in the sun, but it’s because of the fans that Bryan isn’t here tonight. He’ll deal with Bryan on RAW and end all of this at WM. He’s happy the fans all had their moment. He’s sure, judging by the sound and look of the crowd, if they had all been there on Monday, they would have all loved to have jumped in the ring to participate. He’s happy they’ve had their 15 minutes of happiness, but they’ve traded all their happy tomorrows for RAW, where Trips will end the Yes! Movement. The movement could have continued to grow from Summerslam, where Trips started protecting Bryan. He protected Bryan that night for all of the fans. If Bryan had succeeded, he would have been devoured by the sharks in this industry. He protected Bryan to give the fans hopes and dreams. Bryan and the Yes! Movement give hope to the fans and their pathetic lives. He has been protecting Bryan for the fans, but the at the end of the day, he’s just like the fans. They hope the underdog will succeed and they will do the same. At the end of the day, though, Bryan is just like everyone else, and that’s not good enough to succeed. At WM, Trips crushes the hopes and dreams of everyone. That night, he will put an end to the movement and Bryan. There will be no Triple Threat. There is no pot of gold. There is no fairy tale. There is no happily ever after. At WM, he puts an end to the dreams of the fans and buries Bryan. But hey, the show goes on, right? The next competitor happened to be a part of the Yes! Movement on Monday night, and that will be Damien Sandow.
Sandow comes out and Trips says the boss tells the talent to do his job, and the talent refuses to do his job. It doesn’t take a MENSA member to see where this is going, unless the talent can look Trips in the eye and apologize, and maybe they can put this all behind us. Sandow apologizes and says it won’t happen again. Trips says that’s good enough, and they can move on. BTW, Vickie Guerrero didn’t tell Sandow his opponent tonight, but best of luck. The Shield’s music hits.
MATCH 2: Damien Sandow vs. Seth Rollins (w/Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns)
The match starts during the commercials, and when we come back, Rollins is stomping Sandow again before nailing some rights. Sandow comes back with a back elbow before backdropping Rollins to the outside. Rollins lands on the apron, so Sandow knocks him to the floor with a kick to the knee. As Rollins comes back in, Sandow begins attacking him with punches and kicks. He snaps Rollins out of the corner, but Rollins lands on his feet and hits a complete shot into the middle buckle. He ducks a clothesline and nails a Ghetto Blaster, knocking Sandow into the corner. Rollins nails a forearm and a kick off the ropes before heading up top for the big stomp. Sandow sees it coming and drops to the floor. On the outside, he’s cornered by Ambrose and Reigns, which allow Rollins to wipe him out with a suicide dive. Sandow gets rolled into the ring, and Rollins hits his jumping curb stomp for 3.
WINNER: Seth Rollins. I love Rollins, but I am not buying the curb stomp as a finisher. It just looks really weak overall. After the match, Ambrose hesitates to join in the celebration, then grabs Sandow and rolls him in the ring for a 3-on-1 assault, ending in the triple powerbomb. The three then join fists over Sandow’s body.
MATCH 3: Intercontinental Champion Big E vs. Fandango (w/Summer Rae)
We get a cut-away promo from Fandango, and it’s basically him announcing that he’s entered the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal at WM. Michael Cole announces that E and Curtis Axel will also be a part of it. To the match, Fandango nails some punches and an uppercut, followed by one to the back of the head. He drops a knee, then nails a forearm to the chest. E comes back with a pair of clotheslines, ducks a third and hits a belly-to-belly. He follows up with the Warrior Splash, and Fandango comes back with a kick to the face. He goes for a tornado DDT, but E throws him off and hits an avalanche off the ropes. A Big Ending later, and this one’s over.
WINNER: Big E.
Bad News Barrett’s podium rises up near the stage and he says the Undertaker is 21-0 at WM. He’s sure everyone can agree that’s an incredible achievement. But he’s afraid he’s got some bad news. The Streak will come to an end at WMXXX, and your children will be up all night in tears. As a result, you won’t get any sleep, and you’ll go to work exhausted. You’ll fall asleep during an important meeting, and as a result, you’ll be fired. Thank you very much.
MATCH 4: Bray Wyatt (w/Luke Harper and Erick Rowan) vs. Kofi Kingston
Wyatt shoves Kofi into the corner, then misses a clothesline. Kofi nails a right, and Wyatt laughs. He then runs into a boot before blocking a kick and turning it into a spinebuster. He misses a jumping stomp, Kofi blocks a kick, and knocks Wyatt to the floor with a roundhouse. Kofi meets him back in the ring with kicks before Wyatt knocks him down. He throws Kofi into the ropes, then sets him up in the corner for an uppercut. Kofi gets whipped across the ring, avoids a splash and comes off the top with a springboard clothesline. Kofi goes for a monkey flip, but Wyatt catches him sets him on the top rope and shoves him to the floor. Wyatt drops to the floor and nails Kofi with an uppercut before rolling him back into the ring. Wyatt nails Kofi with a running senton, then applies a rear chinlock. Kofi counters with a jawbreaker, then pops up with a dropkick. He nails a clothesline in the corner, then another, blocks a corner charge and comes off the middle with a clothesline. However, Wyatt blocks it and wipes Kofi out with a standing uranage. He drags Kofi to the corner and nails him with an avalanche. Kofi gets hit with Sister Abigail, and this match is over.
WINNER: Bray Wyatt.
We see the Shield in an office, unsure of why they’re there. The camera pans out to show Kane. He congratulates Reigns and Rollins on their victory on RAW, as well as Ambrose’s win over Mark Henry on Main Event. Ambrose says thank you, but he shouldn’t have expected anything different. Kane instead should be focused on his match with the Big Show tonight, the guy who knocked him out last week. Kane tells him he has a lot to learn about this business, but he’ll teach by example. He’s going to destroy show, and he’s ordering them to be at ringside to get a close-up of how to handle business for themselves. Maybe he’ll even leave a few scraps for them when it’s over. Rollins takes exception to this and says he knows why Kane wants them out there: to protect him when Show tries to knock him out again, which he will. Reigns says they don’t take orders from Kane, but they are looking forward to how he handles Show. Rollins says when push comes to shove, they always do what’s best for business, so he need not worry.
MATCH 5: Nikki Bella (w/Brie Bella) vs. Tamina Snuka (w/AJ Lee)
AJ is on color commentary for this match. Nikki avoids a couple of charges and applies a side headlock. Tamina pushes her off, then gets tripped into the middle rope. Nikki applies an arm wringer, and Tamina nails her with a forearm. Nikki comes back with a hair pull for 2, then slides to the apron. She shoulders Tamina, but then gets dropkicked in the knee, sending her to the floor. Tamina takes off her vest and whips Nikki with it before ramming her into the apron. Nikki is rolled back into the ring, and Tamina hits her with a swinging Samoan drop. She goes up top for the Superfly Splash, but Nikki sees it coming. Tamina lands on her feet and gets hit with a clothesline, a dropsh*t and a sloppy back body drop. Nikki hits a facebreaker for 2, then goes for her finisher. Tamina shrugs her off and hits a savate kick for 2. AJ leaves the desk, and Brie takes her out with a clothesline from the apron. Tamina drops to the outside and throws Brie into the barricade. Back in the ring, she misses another kick, and Nikki picks her up in the Argintinean backbreaker drop for 3.
WINNER: Nikki Bella. Seriously, why the f*ck is Nikki Bella being promoted as a powerhouse? She weighs 105 g*ddamn pounds and is only slightly bigger around than the average person’s wrist.
MATCH 6: Dolph Ziggler vs. Alberto Del Rio
A cut-away promo reveals ADR is in the Andre the Giant Battle Royal as well, along with Ryback. At least they’re trying to make this Battle Royal seem important and desirable to win, unlike ones in the past. The two lock up, and ADR applies a side headlock, grinding it in off the ropes. He then throws Ziggler to the corner for a kick to the stomach. ADR stomps Ziggler down, then sends Ziggler into the ropes. Ziggler puts on the breaks and backdrops him to the outside. ADR lands on the apron, and Ziggler knocks him down with a dropkick. He goes outside and slams ADR face-first into the apron before rolling him back in the ring. Ziggler hits a series of elbow drops and punctuates them with a Show-Off Elbow for 2. ADR reverses a corner whip and charges in. Ziggler blocks it, but ADR catches his feet, spins him through the ropes and hits a jumping stomp to the chest. Commercials.
Back from the break, Ziggler ducks a clothesline and hits a cross-body into some mounted punches. He mounts ADR in the corner for more punches, then hits a neckbreaker for 2. Ziggler goes for the Zig-Zag, but ADR hangs onto the ropes. Ziggler rebounds and runs right into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for 2. ADR signals for the thrust kick and misses. Ziggler comes back with a leaping DDT for 2. ADR pops up with a double-arm kneebreaker and hits the thrust kick for 2. ADR is getting frustrated, and he signals for the rolling jujigatame. Ziggler spins through and goes for a swinging neckbreaker. ADR keeps spinning and shoves Zigger into the corner. He misses a step-up enziguri, and Ziggler hits him with a rocker dropper for 2. Ziggler rolls to the apron and climbs to the top rope. ADR pops up and crotches him. ADR heads up and hits an inverted superplex from the middle rope for 2. ADR picks him up for the jujigatame again, but Ziggler shoves him off, leapfrogs over him and hits the Zig-Zag for 3.
WINNER: Dolph Ziggler.
Renee Young is in the ring, congratulating Ziggler on his back-to-back wins over ADR. Ziggler says we are weeks away from WMXXX, the biggest ‘Mania of all-time, and he’s got an exclusive. Tonight, he’s the man who officially puts his name in as a participant in the Andre the Giant Battle Royal. You’ve seen him steal the show every night, but this is Wrestlemania, and he makes his own destiny. WMXXX, when he wins the Andre trophy, he’ll finally have his WM moment.
Congratulations to Carlos Colon on being inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame, Class of 2014.
Kane applies a side headlock, but then gets shouldered off the ropes. The Shield make their way down to the ring as Kane comes back with an uppercut, followed by a series of rights. Show starts firing off body shots of his own and knocks Kane down with a headbutt. He hits an open-hand chop against the ropes, and Kane drops to the floor right by the Shield. As he turns around, Show pulls him to the apron by the head. Kane counters with a hotshot and comes back in the ring with a chopblock. He begins booting Show in the head and hits a seated dropkick for 2. Kane begins working on Show’s left leg, and Show breaks a legbar with a legdrop. He gets to his feet and nails a body blow, but Kane comes back with a DDT off the ropes. He signals for the chokeslam, but Show goozles Kane at the same time. He breaks Kane’s half of the hold, and Kane kicks him in the knee. Show comes back with a pair of clotheslines and a running hip bump in the corner before hitting a spear. He slides to the floor and spots the Shield, but climbs up the steps and back to the ring instead of going after them. He goes to the top rope, and Kane hits him with a chokeslam from there. However, it’s only good for 2, and now Kane is arguing with the ref. Kane is slumped in the corner by the Shield, and Kane’s trying to give them orders. They jump on the apron, but are just standing there instead of entering the ring. Kane screams at Rollins to get Show, but Rollins instead drops down, telling Reigns and Ambrose to do the same, which they do. Kane continues screaming, and when finally turns around, Show nails him with a chokeslam for 3.
WINNER: The Big Show. After the match, the Shield re-enter the ring, and Kane goes for a chokeslam on Rollins. As he has Rollins in the air, Reigns runs through him with a spear.
End of show.
Dustin Nichols is a freelance writer, and you can keep track of all of his work on his Facebook page, which can be found at www.facebook.com/DustinNicholsWriter. Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out his mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:
[amazon_link id=”B0009E32TI” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]WWE: The Greatest Wrestling Stars of the ’80s[/amazon_link]
[amazon_link id=”B00HRYH7G2″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ] Ultimate Warrior: The Ultimate Collection DVD[/amazon_link]