This week’s SmackDown is going straight into the matches once again. Hey, it’s a formula that works.
MATCH 1: The Usos (Jey and Jimmy) vs. Luke Harper and Erick Rowan
Harper starts with Jimmy, hitting him with a European uppercut. Jimmy ducks a clothesline and hits a mule kick as Jey makes the blind tag. Jey hits a flying boot to the face, then tags in Jimmy, who comes off the top with a double axe handle. Harper comes back with an uppercut and tags in Rowan. Rowan hits an elbow to the back of the head and goes for a bodyslam. Jimmy escapes and avoids a legdrop before hitting a kick to the face. Rowan recovers and hits a big pancake. Rowan sets Jimmy across the top buckle and tags in Harper, who clubs Jimmy down to the mat. He stomps Jimmy down, then picks him up for a double chop and an uppercut. Rowan comes back in, and he nails Jimmy in the gut with a right hand. Jimmy comes back with strikes to the head and a reverse Dragon Whip. Harper tags in and knocks Jey off the apron before hitting a big boot on Jimmy for 2. Harper hits another uppercut in the corner, then tags in Rowan. Rowan yanks at Jimmy’s nose through the ropes, then drops a big knee on Jimmy’s chest. Jimmy comes back with a pair of uppercuts and goes for a cross-body. Rowan catches him and hits a fall-away slam. Harper tags in and corner-whips Jimmy before running into a back elbow. Harper recovers and hits a European uppercut. Harper drops a pair of knees for 2, then rakes at Jimmy’s face. Harper catapults Jimmy between the bottom and middle ropes, then applies the Gator Roll, right into a side headlock. Jimmy gets back to his feet, and Harper blasts him with a back elbow off the ropes. Rowan tags in and hits a bodyslam before grinding his fists into Jimmy’s temples. Jimmy frees himself with a jawbreaker, then hits a corkscrew moonsault from the top rope. Harper and Jey tag in. Jey hits a clothesline, knocks Rowan off the apron, then hits another clothesline on Harper. He follows up with a back elbow, a mule kick and an uppercut. Jey connects with a forearm in the corner, ducks a clothesline and hits a Samoan drop. Harper slumps in the corner, where Jey nails him with a running hip bump. Rowan receives a superkick on the apron, and when he turns around, Harper hits him with a Michnoku Driver #2. Jimmy breaks up the pin at 2, so Harper sends him to the floor. Jey quickly schoolboys Harper, but only gets 2. Harper hits a big right hand, but then gets backdropped to the floor. Jey levels him with a suicide dive, and both men are down. As Jey gets to his feet, Rowan runs through him on the outside. Jimmy takes Rowan out with a plancha from the apron, and Harper takes Jey down with a discus clothesline. The bell then rings, as apparently this match is a double count-out.
We see Vickie Guerrero in her office when Randy Orton enters. He wants to know where Triple H and Stephanie McMahon are, as he needs to speak to them. Vickie says they’re not here, and he says he thought he made himself clear that they need to run his matches by him before he competes. Vickie starts to say, “It’s what’s best for business”, but Orton tells her not to. He hates that phrase. He knows what needs to be done. This Monday night, he’s going to give the Authority a piece of his mind, because it’s what’s best for Randy Orton.
Oh, yay. MizTV is up next.
Miz is in the ring. His guest for tonight was involved in a “must-see” segment on “Old School RAW”. We go to the video, and it’s Mark Henry getting into a brawl with Brock Lesnar, breaking Henry’s arm in the process. The Big Show then chased Lesnar off before Lesnar returned to the ring, only to get thrown across the ring by Show. Back to the arena, Miz welcomes Show as his guest for the evening. Miz says most people fear Lesnar, as he’s been wreaking havoc all over WWE, including breaking the arm and dislocating the elbow of Henry. But Show went after Lesnar. He stood in front of Lesnar and threw him across the ring like a ragdoll. What’s going through your head? Show says that, honestly, there’s only so much crap a person can take. Between Paul Heyman running his mouth and Lesnar breaking Henry’s arm, that was his limit. The truth is, he doesn’t like Lesnar. He didn’t like him the first time, he was happy when he left, and he likes him even less now that he’s back. Everyone is afraid to confront Lesnar because they end up like Henry. On Monday, Lesnar was standing in the ring with not a man, but a giant. Lesnar doesn’t seem like the baddest man on the planet anymore, and Show is challenging him to a fight.
Paul Heyman makes his way onto the stage. He introduces himself to the crowd, but of course, Show isn’t looking to see him; he’s looking to fight Heyman’s client, that being Lesnar. Since Lesnar isn’t just a fighter and is actually the ULTIMATE fighter in WWE, why wait to fight? How would Show like to fight Lesnar right now, here in Philadelphia? Heyman starts to introduce Lesnar, then says Lesnar doesn’t fight when Show wants to; Show gets to fight Lesnar when Heyman says so. On behalf of his client, Show may fight Lesnar at the Royal Rumble. Just for the record, if Show would like to pick a fight with Lesnar before RR, he assures Show that Lesnar won’t be a hard man to find.
MATCH 2: The Real Americans (Antonio Cesaro & Jack Swagger) and Rybaxel (Curtis Axel & Ryback) (w/Zeb Colter) vs. Los Matadores (Diego & Fernando), Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara (w/El Torito)
Axel starts the match with one of the Matadores, I believe Diego. Diego hits a snapmare, but Axel comes back with a bodyslam. He steps on Diego’s face, then hits a shoulder off the ropes. They crisscross before Diego throws Axel into the corner. He whips Axel across the ring, then gets backdropped. However, he does a headstand in the corner and catches Axel with his feet for a headscissors. Axel throws him off to the outside, where he lands on the apron. Diego shoulders Axel and hits an outside-in spinning headscissors. Fernando tags in and hits a jump kick to the face for 2. Axel backs Fernando to the heel corner and Cesaro tags himself in and hits a European uppercut. Cesaro hits a bodyslam, but then gets caught in a spinning headscissors. Fernando ducks a clothesline and hits a springboard back elbow. Diego and Swagger tag in, with Diego immediately knocking Swagger down. Swagger tags out to Axel as Cara tags in and hits a springboard seated dropkick. Axel tags out to Ryback. Cara ducks a clothesline and hits a couple of dropkicks before tagging in Mysterio. They trip Ryback into the ropes and Mysterio looks for the 619, but Ryback bails to the floor. Commercials.
Back from the break, Swagger goes for a powerslam on Mysterio, but Mysterio slides out. Swagger nails a back elbow and looks for the Swagger Bomb, but Mysterio blocks it with a pair of boots. Mysterio goes for the cover, but only gets 2 as Rybaxel breaks it up. Los Matadores take them to the floor and hit a double suicide dive. Torito comes off the top, hitting Axel with a somersault plancha. In the ring, Swagger counters a bodyscissors into the Patriot Lock. Mysterio rolls through and sends Swagger into the ropes. He goes for the 619, but Swagger blocks it and turns the move into an elevated belly-to-belly suplex for 2 as Cara breaks it up. Cesaro comes in and gets hiptossed to the floor, with Cara going out as well. Swagger goes for the falling Doctor Bomb, but Mysterio counters into a hurricanrana. He follows up with a 619 and hits the Dropping the Dime for 3.
WINNERS: Los Matadores, Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara.
MATCH 3-Champion vs. Champion: WWE World Champion Randy Orton vs. Intercontinental Champion Big E. Langston (non-title)
The two lock up and stay in that position until Langston backs Orton into the corner, giving a clean break. Orton applies a side headlock now, and Langston sends him into the ropes, knocking him down with a shoulderblock. Orton slides to the floor, then slides back in for another lock-up. Langston applies a side headlock this time, then the two crisscross before Langston hits another shoulderblock. Orton rolls to the floor once again for a breather, then climbs back into the ring. He boots Langston in the gut before hitting some forearms to the back. Orton mounts Langston for some punches before stomping him in the face. Orton hits a kneelift and a European uppercut. He applies an arm wringer before hitting a headbutt. Off the ropes, Langston hits another big shoulder for 2, then lands a couple of gut shots. Langston begins working on the left arm, applying a mounted armbar. Langston breaks the hold, hits a gut shot and rams Orton into the corner with some shoulder thrusts. Orton blocks one of the thrusts with a kneelift, then hits Langston with a forearm. He headbutts Langston down, nails a couple more shots to the back and another punch, but Langston shakes it off and hits a big backbreaker. He follows up with another backbreaker for 2. Orton comes back with forearms to the face, but Langston corner-whips him and hits a running shoulder thrust. Langston goes for the Big Ending, but Orton slides out and hits the floor. Orton slides back in for a sneak attack, but Langston sees him coming. Orton slides back to the outside to stall, and that’s when Langston heads out, nailing a gut shot. He rams Orton back-first into the barricade, then does it again. He throws Orton back in the ring, and Orton slides to the apron. Langston hits a couple more shoulder thrusts through the ropes, but Orton sidesteps him on the third attempt, and Langston goes flying through the ropes. Langston rolls back into the ring at 9, and Orton begins stomping him down. Orton goes for the pin, getting 2, then applies a rear chinlock. Langston tries to get back to his feet, but Orton grinds him back down. Langston gets up on the second try, elbows his way out, and runs right into a kitchen sink for 2. Orton goes back to the chinlock, because of course he does. Langston fights out once more, but Orton throws him through the ropes and to the floor. Outside now, Orton slams Langston face-first into the steps a couple of times. Langston gets rolled back in, and Orton covers him for 2. One more time, Orton’s got a rear chinlock applied, but Langston fights out. In the corner, blocks a charge with a back elbow and hits a big clothesline. Back to his feet, Langston hits two more clotheslines, ducks one and hits a belly-to-belly suplex. He follows up with the Warrior Splash for 2. Orton gets back to his feet and hits the 3.0. Orton punts Langston in the ribs, and Langston rolls to the apron. Orton hits the suspended DDT and signals for the RKO. Langston shoves him across the ring and hits an avalanche. Orton slumps in the corner, where he tries to beg off. He then thumbs Langston in the eye and hits the RKO for 3, aka the exact same finish he did with Dolph Ziggler a few weeks ago.
WINNER: Randy Orton.
The camera cuts away to show the Wyatt Family in a dark room. Wyatt says fate is a strange beast. She warms your heart with her eyes before she tears you apart with her teeth. Are her virtues worth this gamble? Usos, if he was to break one of your bones, would the other one feel it? If he cut one, would the other bleed? Aren’t you tired of playing hero? Aren’t you tired of living this giant lie? Daniel Bryan screams and says everything they’ve been told is a lie. It makes him want to ram your head into the wall until you destroy something. Wyatt then reappears and simply says, “Run.”
MATCH 4: Fandango (w/Summer Rae) vs. Xavier Woods (w/the Funkadactyls and R-Truth)
R-Truth is on commentary for this match. They lock up, and Fandango immediately armdrags Woods before dancing. They lock up again, and Woods applies a side headlock. They crisscross, and Woods pops off a spinning headscissors off the ropes. Fandango comes back with a punch to the head, then throws Woods to the floor. Woods shoulders Fandango through the ropes, then rolls through the ropes right into a schoolboy for 3.
WINNER: Xavier Woods. After the match, Summer Rae gets in Woods’ face, so the Funkadactyls take her out. Fandango attacks Woods from behind, so R-Truth hits the ring, with him and Woods sending Fandango to the floor with a double dropkick.
Tom Phillips, who is apparently WWE’s new interviewer, approaches the Usos in the back, who are still beat up from earlier tonight. He tries to ask Jey a question, but Jey just kicks a chair against the wall. He asks Jimmy what went wrong earlier tonight. Jimmy says they understand what the Wyatts do. They play mind games and use their numbers. They put fear into you, but the Usos stand up. When their backs are against the wall, they stand up. They fight back, and that’s what they’re going to do come Monday night against Daniel Bryan and Bray Wyatt. They’re going to bring the pain, and that’s where they’re at right now.
The Shield come out for their match. Before that happens, Roman Reigns grabs a mic and says this past Monday night was “Old School RAW”, a night where they celebrate their history and the legends who own it. Legends like “Nature Boy” Ric Flair, “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, and how can they forget Jake “The Snake” Roberts? But with all those legends in the house, only one thing matter, and that’s when he pinned CM Punk and became the new “best in the world”. Dean Ambrose takes the mic and says he hates snakes. He doesn’t know how it’s legal to own a 10-foot python, but someone will pay for that. If that snake was here right now, he’d choke it out right now and rip its head off. Seth Rollins interrupts and says tonight isn’t about “old school” or the history of WWE. Tonight is about the future of WWE. He’s no Nostradamus, but he does know his future doesn’t involve the New-Age Outlaws. Monday night, the Outlaws stuck their nose in the Shield’s business, so it will be the pleasure of the Shield to put them out of their misery. As for Punk, they’ll break him and prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that they are the future of this company, and no one can stop them. Believe in the Shield.
Punk and Ambrose start the match with a lock-up. He tries to back Punk into the corner, but Punk reverses position. Punk gives a clean break, and they lock up again. Ambrose applies a hammerlock and follows up with a snapmare into a side headlock. Punk counters with a headscissors. Ambrose escapes and gets hit with a hip throw. Dogg tags in and applies a hammerlock, then rams Ambrose in the corner. Gunn tags in and applies an arm wringer. Ambrose breaks it with what looks like a thumb to the throat and tags in Rollins, who gets hit with an armdrag. Gunn applies an armbar, then drops an elbow across the arm before doing the sequence again. Dogg tags in and continues to work on Rollins’ arm. Punk tags in and comes off the top with an elbow to the injured arm. He keeps going with the arm wringer, and Rollins breaks it with a right to the face. Ambrose tags in, and gets hit with a drop toe-hold. Punk snaps back on Ambrose’s right leg, but Ambrose gets back up, rams Punk into the corner and assaults him with rights before grinding his face against the top rope. He nails a right, then sends Punk into the ropes. Punk hits a kick and goes for a roundhouse, but Ambrose sees it coming and bails to the floor. Rollins comes in, and Punk picks him up for the GTS, but Reigns pulls Ambrose down. They go for a double clothesline, but Punk ducks, and the two members of the Shield are met with rights from the Outlaws, who then throw Reigns to the floor. Ambrose eventually re-enters the ring, and he backs Punk into the corner. Rollins tags in, hits a couple of kicks before going for a suplex. Punk counters with a roll-up for 2. Rollins hits an elbow to the back of the head and tags in Reigns, who nails a gut shot. He clubs Punk down, then headbutts him in the back of the head before sitting across his back. Reigns applies an armbar, but Punk fights out, slides under Reigns’ legs and hits a dropkick. Dogg tags in, and the face hit a double hiptoss. Dogg applies an arm wringer, but gets nailed with a headbutt. Ambrose back in, and he rakes Dogg across the face. Dogg ducks a clothesline and nails a right hand before hitting a kneedrop for 2. Rollins makes a blind tag off the ropes and he hits a springboard clothesline for 2 as Gunn breaks up the pin. Reigns back in, and he & Rollins wishbone Dogg’s legs. Reigns stomps Dogg down in the corner and tags in Ambrose, who hits a jumping stomp to the chest. Ambrose snaps a few jabs off and mocks Dogg before hitting a kitchen sink against the ropes. He follows up with a running seated dropkick against the ropes and tags in Rollins, who hits a dropkick of his own for 2. Rollins applies a rear chinlock. Dogg eventually breaks the hold with elbows and backs Rollins into the corner. He hits a couple shots before Rollins hits a complete shot into the second buckle for 2. Rollins stomps Dogg down, then rakes at his face against the ropes. Ambrose tags in and hits some crossface punches. He stomps Dogg’s left hand, then hits a series of shoulder thrusts in the corner. Reigns tags himself in and knocks Dogg down with a right for 2. He applies a rear chinlock now, but Dogg fights out. Reigns cuts him off with a kneelift, but Dogg comes back with a DDT off the ropes. Rollins tags in and knocks Gunn off the apron before getting hit with a back body drop. Punk and Ambrose tag in, and Punk misses a springboard clothesline, lands on his feet, hits a jumping side kick, a clothesline and a neckbreaker. The Pepsi Max connects in the corner, but Ambrose ducks the follow-up short-arm clothesline. Punk mule kicks him and hits a springboard cross-body for 2. He goes for the GTS, but Ambrose escapes and looks for the D-AK47. Punk shoves him off, Ambrose ducks a clothesline, and they collide in the middle of the ring with simultaneous cross-bodies. Gunn and Reigns tag in. Gunn nails a couple of right hands and a big boot. He ducks a clothesline from an incoming Rollins and hits him with a tilt-a-whirl powerslam. Reigns receives a jackhammer for 2 as Ambrose breaks up the pin. Dogg runs in, Ambrose ducks a clothesline and sends Dogg to the floor with one of his own. Punk comes in and goes for the GTS on Ambrose. Ambrose escapes and sends Punk into the ropes, but Punk instead hits a suicide dive to the floor. Back in the ring, Gunn goes for the Fameasser on Ambrose, but Reigns comes in and nails him with a spear in mid-air to get the 3.
WINNERS: The Shield.
Dustin Nichols is a freelance writer, and you can keep track of all of his work on his Facebook page, which can be found at www.facebook.com/DustinNicholsWriter. Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out his mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:
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