MATCH 1: WWE United States Champion Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns (w/Seth Rollins) vs. Kofi Kingston and Dolph Ziggler
Rollins is on commentary. Before the match starts, we see what happened on RAW when Ambrose tagged himself in during a 6-man. Kofi and Ambrose start. Ambrose hits a hip throw after a quick exchange. Ambrose applies an arm wringer, but Kofi flips out and counters into a side headlock before tripping Ambrose and hitting a quick splash for 2. Ziggler tags in and the faces hit a double hiptoss for 2. Ambrose boots Ziggler and applies a side headlock before shouldering Ziggler off the ropes. The two crisscross until Ziggler goes for a hiptoss. Ambrose blocks it and misses a clothesline. Ziggler knocks him down with a right, hits a series of elbows and caps it off with the Show-Off Elbow for a total of 10 shots, which gets him a 2-count. Ambrose backs Ziggler into the corner and Reigns tags himself in. He knocks Ziggler down with a big uppercut, then foot-chokes him over the bottom rope. Reigns snaps Ziggler’s arm and tags in Ambrose, who kicks the arm before hitting a power-drive elbow for 2. Ambrose goes for a suplex, but Ziggler escapes and hits a dropkick. Kofi tags in and hits a springboard clothesline. He knocks Reigns off the apron, then drops Ambrose with a pair of double chops and a dropkick. Ambrose blocks a jumping clothesline and hits a Stun Gun. Reigns tags in and, as Kofi is draped across the bottom rope, Reigns hits a jumping dropkick from the floor to the side of Kofi’s head. Back in the ring, Reigns scores 2, then nails Kofi with a right before tagging in Ambrose, who hits a body blow and a modified short-arm clothesline. Ambrose lands a jumping stomp, then boots Kofi in the head before tagging in Reigns. Reigns drops Kofi with a body blow. Kofi fights back from his knees, but gets nailed with a boot and a suplex for 2. Reigns applies a side headlock, but Kofi elbows out before running into a back elbow. Reigns slams Kofi’s face into the mat, then drags Kofi to his corner. Ambrose tags in and stomps Kofi in the back before applying a front chancery. Kofi tries to power himself to his corner, but Ambrose cuts him off with some kneelifts and a butterfly suplex for 2. Ambrose applies a rear chinlock now, driving his knee into Kofi’s back in the process. Kofi gets back to his feet and fights out before getting hit with a kitchen sink. Ambrose hits some shots in the corner and sets him up on the top rope for a butterfly superplex. Kofi breaks free and knocks Ambrose back down before he hits a top-rope cross-body. Ambrose tries to prevent a tag, but Kofi breaks free and lands a big roundhouse. Reigns and Ziggler tag in. Ziggler ducks a clothesline and hits a cross-body off the ropes. He follows up with a dropkick and a jumping splash in the corner. He goes right into some mounted punches and a neckbreaker. He calls for the rocker dropper, but Reigns blocks it and hits him with a blue thunder bomb. He signals for the Superman Punch, but Ambrose tries to tag himself in. Reigns backs off, and the temporary distraction allows Kofi to grab Ambrose and drop him to the floor. In the ring, Ziggler hits a leaping DDT on Reigns for 2. Outside, Rollins tries for a distraction. Kofi sees him coming and goes for TIP, but misses. Ambrose grabs him from behind and throws him head-first into the barricade. In the ring, Ziggler goes for the Zig-Zag, but Reigns shakes him off and levels him with the Superman Punch. Reigns then hits a spear and tags in Ambrose. Ambrose quickly goes for the cover and gets 3.
[adinserter block=”1″]WINNERS: Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns. The two appear to be arguing once more, and Rollins steps in between to calm them down. The lights go out and the Wyatt Family appears on the TitanTron. Luke Harper is whistling as Bray Wyatt is laughing. Wyatt says the Shield are bickering like children, consumed by pride, beating their chests at one another to see who in the Shield has the sharpest teeth. Fools. The Shield thinks Wyatt is a façade, a joke. If they could only see the monster that lives behind his eyes, they’d realize how real he is. Harper says those that deny them…I don’t know what else is said because my feed cuts out here and goes right into the next segment. Sorry everyone.
Daniel Bryan makes his way down to the ring. Last Monday on RAW, the Authority said they might make him the new face of WWE if he could beat Randy Orton. What the Authority doesn’t understand is he doesn’t want to be the face of WWE; he just wants to be him, and that’s great. When he beat Orton, the Authority showed their true colors when the Director of Operations Kane came out, interfered in the match and chokeslammed him. We see the footage in question, then it’s back to Bryan. He says that ever since Kane aligned himself with the Authority, Bryan has stayed out of his way. Not anymore after Monday. So, why doesn’t Kane come down here and explain how he turned into a big, red, corporate sell-out who stabs his friends in the back?
Kane comes out on the stage and starts to talk, but Bryan says he can’t hear Kane from way back there. So, why doesn’t he come down to the ring for a face-to-face? Kane says that won’t be necessary. On behalf of the Authority, he’s here to apologize. As the DOO, he’s not permitted to engage in physical activity with WWE stars without provocation. He acted of his own volition. It was unprofessional and unfitting of someone in an executive office. Bryan doesn’t understand any of this. Kane is the “devil’s favorite demon”. They used to be WWE Tag Team Champions together, and even hugged it out live on TV a few times. What happened to that version of Kane? That Kane made Bryan a better person and became his friend. He gets it. The Authority tried to put him in a $1000 suit, too, but he told them to stick it. He hoped Kane would say the same thing. Unfortunately, Kane embraced it. Bryan speaks for every single person in the WWE Universe when he says this: take that cheap tie off, go get your mask out of that damn office and get rid of the stupid Corporate Kane. Kane says Bryan is right: they do have history, but it’s exactly that-history. He’s traded in the undisclosed location somewhere in the bowels of an arena for a corner office. Frankly, he couldn’t be happier. He’s glad Team Hell No! is over, and he & Bryan are not friends. They never were friends. A wise man once said that, in this business, you can either make friends or make money, and Kane is doing pretty well for himself right now. Bryan says different people have different priorities, because he considers himself to be doing pretty well right now, but that’s because he’s got an entire arena full of friends right here. And since Kane seems to be not caring about friends, why doesn’t he come down to the ring and they can settle this right now like two guys who aren’t friends at all? Kane says that isn’t going to happen. But, since Bryan is in the mood for action, he’ll allow Bryan to compete. In fact, as an act of good faith, he has scheduled Bryan in a match with an opponent who is also in the Elimination Chamber, Antonio Cesaro. Good luck, Daniel.
Oh, man. That match is going to be sweet.
We get another video for Alexander Rusev and Lana.
MATCH 2: Nikki Bella (w/Brie Bella) vs. WWE Divas Champion AJ Lee (w/Tamina Snuka, non-title)
AJ immediately applies a side headlock, but gets thrown off. AJ charges and goes for a sunset flip, but Nikki puts on the breaks and lifts AJ up by her neck and throws her into the corner. Nikki hits a bodyslam, then sends AJ into the corner. AJ avoids a charge and applies a scissored sleeper. Nikki breaks it by ramming AJ into the corner, but AJ recovers and dropkicks Nikki in the back for 2. AJ goes for a neckbreaker, but Nikki counters into a weak ace crusher. She follows up with a clothesline, a dropkick and a sloppy version of an STO. Nikki hits a back body drop off the ropes, then goes for an Argentinean backbreaker. Tamina jumps on the apron, which leads Brie to do the same thing. AJ manages to escape, and Nikki grabs her by the hair. She tries to ram AJ into Tamina, but rams her into Brie instead, knocking Brie into the announce desk. AJ nails Nikki from behind and applies the Black Widow for the submission win.
WINNER: AJ Lee.
Titus O’Neil is in the back, and is apparently going to be interviewing someone. He says this woman has been begging him for an interview, so without further ado, here’s his guest, Renee Young. Renee then takes over the interview, saying Titus attacked Darren Young out of nowhere. Titus takes offense to that, saying he and Darren tagged for 2 years. He calls himself “Mr. No Days Off”, but for 731 days, that brother was off. In that time, he could have won a lot of championships. Darren has a lot of great qualities, such as his nice hair, but he’s not Titus. Titus looks good, smells good and has a beautiful smile. From now on, the only weight he’s carrying is WWE championships. Titus dismisses Renee, and that’s when he’s jumped by Darren. Darren slams him into a wall, throws him over a table, slams him into an equipment box and then tackles him, assaulting him with punches in the process. Eventually, some referees pull Darren off.
Renee Young is standing by with Alberto Del Rio. She shows ADR the footage from RAW when he attacked Batista, then asks why he continues to antagonize Batista. ADR calls Batista an animal, and he’s an animal tamer. He’s going to turn Batista into a little puppy, drinking milk from a saucer. He then says something in Spanish. I didn’t realize puppies drank milk. In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s really bad for them.
MATCH 3: Antonio Cesaro (w/Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger) vs. Daniel Bryan
The two lock up, and Bryan applies a waistlock. Cesaro counters and hits a takedown before backing Bryan into the corner. Cesaro nails a body blow and a knife-edge. Cesaro throws Bryan to the corner for another chop, but Bryan recovers, throws Cesaro to the corner and drops him with a series of kicks. Bryan then turns to some kneelifts before hitting a kitchen sink. Bryan applies an arm wringer, and my feed scrambles a bit here. When it comes back up, Cesaro drops Bryan with a European uppercut for 2. He goes for several more pins, but Bryan continues to kick out. Bryan eventually goes for a monkey flip, but instead pops up even higher and snaps off a hurricanrana. He fires up the Yes! Kicks, but Cesaro blocks the final one and turns it into a powerbomb for 2. Cesaro shoulders Bryan off the ropes, the two crisscross, and Bryan hits a hiptoss before locking in a short-arm scissors. Cesaro counters into a pin for a 1-count, and Bryan rolls him back over into the hold. Eventually, Cesaro powers through and lifts Bryan over his head while still in the hold before dropping him in a modified electric chair. Bryan gets shoved into the corner, where Cesaro nails him with a series of strikes. He follows up with a quick suplex and floats over into a pin for 2 before applying a rear chinlock. Bryan elbows out, but gets nailed in the face with a knee. Bryan flips off a corner whip, ducks a clothesline and nails one of his own. Cesaro pulls himself to his feet in the corner, where Bryan nails him with a running dropkick. He sets Cesaro up top and snaps off a super hurricanrana for 2. Bryan hits more Yes! Kicks and goes for the Buzzsaw. Cesaro ducks and rolls Bryan up in a schoolboy for 2. Bryan gets back to his feet and goes for the Yes! Lock, but Cesaro counters with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Cesaro nails a headbutt, then knee-chokes Bryan over the middle rope. Cesaro slides to the floor and nails a leaping European uppercut. Back in the ring, Cesaro catapults Bryan underneath the bottom rope before rolling him over for 2. Cesaro hits a butterfly suplex for another 2-count, then goes right for a rear chinlock. Bryan fights out and goes for a sunset flip, getting 2. Cesaro rolls through and hits a double stomp for 2. Bryan pulls himself to his feet, where Cesaro hits him with a running European uppercut in the corner for another 2. Cesaro goes back to the chinlock, but drives his knee into the side of Bryan’s head as well. Bryan breaks free and fights Cesaro off, but Cesaro comes back with a running boot. Cesaro charges at Bryan, but Bryan low-bridges him to the floor. Swagger checks on Cesaro, and Bryan wipes him out with a running knee from the apron. Cesaro charges at Bryan once more, and Bryan sidesteps him, sending him into the barricade. Bryan rolls Cesaro back in the ring and goes up top, where he goes for the dropkick. However, Cesaro nails him with a European uppercut on the way down and gets a 2-count. Cesaro goes for the Cesaro Swing, but Bryan gets to the bottom rope. Cesaro pulls him back to the middle, and Bryan rolls him up in a small package for 2. Back up, Cesaro turns Bryan inside-out with a clothesline. He signals for the Neutralizer, but Bryan counters into the Yes! Lock. Cesaro starts to counter that into another tilt-a-whirl, but Bryan escapes and hits a spinning headscissors into an armbar before quickly applying the Yes! Lock for the submission win.
WINNER: Daniel Bryan. After the match, Kane comes out. Bryan challenges him to come down to the ring, which allows Cesaro to nail Bryan from behind before taking him out with the Neutralizer. Kane enters the ring and picks Bryan up by the throat before hitting a chokeslam.
Renee Young is standing by with Randy Orton. She asks him about his “Chamber gauntlet” over the next few weeks. Orton ignores that and instead talks about how Daniel Bryan beating him on RAW was a total fluke. Tonight, he has Christian, and he will beat him. On RAW, he’ll beat John Cena. Antonio Cesaro and Sheamus will follow, and at EC, he will beat all five of them and remain the greatest superstar ever.
MATCH 4: Ryback (w/Curtis Axel) vs. Sheamus
The two lock up, and Sheamus breaks it with a kneelift. He applies a side headlock now, then ducks a clothesline before hitting one of his own. Axel tries to trip Sheamus, but to no avail. Sheamus nails Ryback with a few shots, avoids a bodyslam and hits a rolling fireman’s carry slam. Sheamus drops to the floor and levels Axel with a Brogue Kick. On the apron now, Sheamus shoulders Ryback, then ties him up for the forearm shots. He hits a few before Ryback nails some back elbows, pulls Sheamus in by the neck and hits a standing spinebuster. Ryback connects with a corner clothesline before whipping Sheamus across the ring. Sheamus drops to the mat, and Ryback proceeds to foot-choke him. He follows up with a bodyslam and a Warrior Splash for 2. Ryback applies a cobra clutch, but Sheamus is able to escape by headbutting Ryback. Ryback recovers and hits a backpack stunner. Ryback heads up top and goes for a splash, which misses. Sheamus nails a back elbow, hits a few rights, a pair of Irish Hammers, a running shoulder in the corner. He goes for a running kneelift, but Ryback sidesteps him and presses him over his head. Sheamus escapes and hits a tilt-a-whirl powerslam. Sheamus signals for the Brogue Kick and goes for it, but Ryback catches him with a powerbomb mid-move for 2. Ryback signals for the Meat Hook and charges, but Sheamus meets him with a Brogue Kick for 3.
Goldust is in the ring for a match, but before we get to that, we get a cut-away promo from him and his half-brother, Cody Rhodes. Goldust admits he and Rhodes are now desperate. Rhodes took a risk, a nearly death-defying risk, at winning the titles back. Tonight, Goldust takes that risk. Rhodes says desperate men do desperate things.
MATCH 5: Goldust (w/Cody Rhodes) vs. Bray Wyatt (w/Luke Harper and Erick Rowan)
Goldust takes Wyatt down with an armdrag. Wyatt comes back with right hands, then sends Goldust across the corner. He misses a splash, but then hangs upside down in the corner, taunting Goldust. Goldust hits a few rights, ducks a clothesline and runs into a back elbow. Wyatt rolls to the floor and nails Goldust with an uppercut as he hangs off the apron. He shoves the back of Goldust’s neck into the middle rope, then crawls back in. He stomps Goldust in the chest, then hits a falling headbutt for 2. Wyatt applies a double-trapezius claw, but Goldust fights out with gut shots. Wyatt nails a kick and sends Goldust into the corner, but Goldust counters with a springboard back elbow. Goldust ducks a clothesline and hits one of his own. He follows up with another one and a Goldust Uppercut (sorry, I don’t know what else to call that since both he and his brother use it now, and I’m not that clever). Goldust hits some corner mounted punches, then hits a hurricanrana from the middle rope. He ducks another clothesline and hits a spinebuster. Wyatt rolls to the floor, and Goldust follows, hitting a somersault plancha from the apron. Reminds me of Mini Goldust from WWE’s brief run with AAA back in 1997. Goldust rolls Wyatt back in the ring, and on the outside, Harper and Rowan take out Rhodes. In the ring, Wyatt nails Goldust in the back of the head, then drags him to the middle of the ring before laying him out with Sister Abigail for 3.
[adinserter block=”2″]WINNER: Bray Wyatt. Rhodes covers Goldust after the match to protect him as Wyatt taunts them both. The Shield appear on the TitanTron and Dean Ambrose says it’s cute that Wyatt thinks he can call them bickering children, but watch it, because you’re talking to the hounds. The Wyatts think they are too full of their own pride, and they are. They have a lot of pride because they are the best unit in this industry. When they get the Wyatts in the ring at EC, they own the Wyatts. Seth Rollins says he doesn’t care if they are monsters or men; they are not afraid of the Wyatts. He will scrape their beards off their faces with his boot for one reason: the Wyatts cost them the opportunity to be in the Chamber. Roman Reigns says they don’t understand that one of them would have become the WWE World Champion. Fortunately, the Shield have a few methods for making people understand. Ambrose says it’s time for some justice, boys. Believe in the Shield.
MATCH 6: Christian vs. WWE World Champion Randy Orton (non-title)
The two lock up, then quickly break before going right back to it. Orton applies a side headlock, then shoulders Christian off the ropes. They crisscross until Christian hits a shoulderblock of his own. Orton boots Christian in the gut, then knees him in the head, kicks him in the ribs and nails him in the chest with a series of forearms. Christian tosses Orton to the floor a minute later, then dropkicks him through the ropes. He goes for a slingshot plancha, but Orton sidesteps him, sending Christian face-first into the floor. Christian gets rolled back into the ring, and Orton follows. Christian hits a back elbow out of the corner, then backdrops Orton to the outside. Up top, Christian hits a plancha. Orton manages to roll into the ring first, and Christian is a second behind him. Orton sees Christian back on his feet and immediately rolls back to the floor. Orton grabs a mic and tells Des Moines, IA he’s from a town called St. Louis, about six hours south. It’s snowing outside, it’s miserable. He can’t take a bus home. He can’t take his SUV home. He can’t spend ten grand on a charter because the weather is so bad. His flight tomorrow is canceled, so he’s stuck here, in Des Moines of all places. That’s not a good thing. Des Moines sucks! Shut up! Okay…not sure the point of all that in the middle of a match. Anyway, Orton slides back into the ring and runs right into a series of punches. Christian goes for a clothesline, and Orton drops to the floor once again. Christian follows him, nails an uppercut and rolls Orton back into the ring. He hits a series of strikes in the corner, then begins hitting some shoulder thrusts. God, I hate JBL’s commentary so much. Orton comes back with a kneelift and a headbutt before peppering Christian with rights. He hits a European uppercut, but Christian shakes it off and begins nailing Orton in the corner with more punches. Orton gets corner-whipped, then tries to block a charge. Christian slides under Orton to the floor and grabs him by the legs. Orton pulls his legs towards himself, sending Christian face-first into the ring post. Orton heads outside and hits a back suplex across the top of the barricade. Back in the ring, Orton gets a 2-count.Orton does the Garvin Stomp, then forearms Christian across the back. He hits a European uppercut in the corner, then hits a pair of corner whips. Christian comes back with an uppercut, but runs into a dropkick a moment later. Orton gets another 2-count as a “Randy sucks” chant breaks out. Orton immediately goes for a rear chinlock, because of course he does. Eventually, Christian counters with a back suplex. The two trade punches now, and Christian nails a pair of uppercuts. He hits some corner mounted punches and a corner whip, but Orton comes back with a clothesline. Christian rolls to the apron, where he hits a hotshot. Up top, Christian nails a cross-body for 2. He mounts the middle rope and hits a spinning European uppercut before signaling for the Killswitch. Orton sees him coming and snaps off a powerslam for 2. Orton throws Christian shoulder-first into the ring post, then goes for the suspended DDT. Christian escapes, sends Orton throat-first into the middle rope and hits and inside-out uppercut. Up top, Christian misses the frog splash. Orton throws him to the apron and connects with the DDT on the second try. Orton drops down for the RKO and goes for it, but Christian counters with a backslide for 2. He goes for the Killswitch, but Orton shoves him into the corner. Christian puts on the breaks, jumps to the middle rope and dives off, right into an RKO for 3.
WINNER: Randy Orton, putting him at 1-1 in the “Chamber Gauntlet”.
End of show.
Dustin Nichols is a freelance writer, and you can keep track of all of his work on his Facebook page, which can be found at www.facebook.com/DustinNicholsWriter. Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out his mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:
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