This week’s WWE SmackDown opens up with a shot of the arena, which is filled with tables, ladders and chairs set up all around ringside, up and down the ramp, and on the stage.
Daniel Bryan makes his way out, carrying his “Superstar of the Year” Slammy. Looks like we’re going right into a match.
MATCH 1: Daniel Bryan vs. Erick Rowan (w/Luke Harper and Bray Wyatt)
Rowan immediately clubs Bryan down. He forearms Bryan against the ropes, but Bryan ducks a clothesline and hits a forearm of his own. He nails a few kicks before getting a boot and a shoulder off the ropes. Rowan hits a bodyslam, and a low forearm to the back. He applies a bearhug now, but Bryan eventually elbows his way out before hitting a series of forearms. Rowan catches a cross-body attempt and hits a fall-away slam. He follows up with an avalanche in the corner for 2. Rowan sets him across the top rope and hits him in the chest with forearms and a headbutt. Bryan blocks a second avalanche attempt and hits a seated missile dropkick from the middle rope. He fires up the Yes! Kicks and connects with the Buzzsaw before dropkicking Harper off the apron. He escapes a bodyslam, ducks a clothesline and hits Harper with a suicide dive. Back on the apron, he low-bridges Rowan, sending him outside as well. He goes for another suicide dive, but Wyatt trips him in front of the ref.
The Real Americans come out for their match, but before that happens, we get yet another “wonderful” promo from Zeb Colter. He says that, earlier today, he walked around this god-forsaken town (Portland, OR), and out of nowhere, this big, bearded freak in a Santa Claus costume with his hand out stopped him and told him “Feliz Navidad”. So, Zeb thought to himself he has a person speaking in a foreign language begging for money from an American. That sounds like an illegal immigrant to him. If Zeb could deport this man, he would, but he can’t. He doesn’t like people sneaking across the border, especially from the North Pole.
MATCH 2: The Real Americans (Antonio Cesaro and Jack Swagger, w/Zeb Colter) vs. WWE Tag Team Champions Goldust and Cody Rhodes (non-title)
Goldust and Cesaro start the match. Goldust applies a side headlock and shoulders Cesaro before hitting an armdrag. Rhodes tags in and hits an elbow to the arm from the top rope. Cesaro comes back with a kick to the chest and tags in Swagger, who hits a few rights before tagging Cesaro back in. He hits a European uppercut and tags in Swagger, who throws Rhodes face-first into the buckles, then begins shouldering him in the adjacent corner before sending him chest-first across the ring. Swagger goes for the Swagger Bomb, but misses. Rhodes drop toe-holds him into the middle buckle. Goldust and Swagger tag in. Goldust hits a pair of clotheslines and his signature uppercut before landing an inverted atomic drop. He misses a big boot, ducks a clothesline and hits a spinebuster. Cesaro made the blind tag off the missed clothesline, and he grabs Goldust, throwing him to the floor. Outside, Cesaro hits a short-arm clothesline. Commercials.
Back from the break, Swagger and Goldust are legal, with Swagger holding Goldust in a front chancery. Goldust breaks free and hits a boot, but he gets rammed into the corner before making a tag. Cesaro tags in and hits a European uppercut before foot-choking Goldust against the bottom rope. Swagger is back in, and Cesaro sends Goldust into a belly-to-belly suplex. He applies a sleeper, but Goldust quickly fights out. He nails rights on both Swagger and Cesaro before hitting a springboard shoulderblock from the middle rope. Cesaro and Rhodes tag in. Rhodes ducks a clothesline, hits a high knee and a clothesline. He counters a corner whip with an Oklahoma Roll for 2 before hitting the Goldust Uppercut and the Alabama Slam for 2 as Cesaro grabs the bottom rope. Rhodes misses the Disaster Kick, and Cesaro goes for the Cesaro Swing. Goldust breaks it with an uppercut before getting sent to the floor by Cesaro. Rhodes recovers and hits the Disaster Kick for 2 as Swagger breaks up the pin. Rhodes throws him to the floor, then backdrops Cesaro onto Swagger. Rhodes hits a springboard plancha on both men, then rolls Cesaro back into the ring. He climbs up top for the moonsault, but is cut off by Swagger. Rhodes nails Swagger, but then is yanked off top, right into the Very European Uppercut for 3.
WINNERS: The Real Americans.
After a long video of the histories of John Cena’s and Randy Orton’s mirrored careers, we see the entire match between Sin Cara and Alberto Del Rio from this past Monday on RAW. In case you didn’t see it, Cara defeated ADR cleanly once again, which I think pretty much signals the end of Alberto Del Rio: Main Eventer.
Bad News Barrett is standing by at his podium. He says that, on Monday, fans surpassed themselves by voting in record numbers for the Slammys. In doing so, they breathe fresh hope into a group of otherwise hopeless superstars. However, he’s got some bad news. The bad news is that while fans were voting for a group of winners, it was in fact all of them who were the true losers. Ultimately, they’re opinions are worthless and they are forced to live vicariously through a true winner like himself. Thank you very much.
MATCH 3: Mark Henry vs. Damien Sandow
Big E. Langston is on commentary for this next match. The two lock up, and Henry shoves Sandow to the mat. Sandow applies a side headlock before getting shouldered down. Henry hits a headbutt, then corner-whips Sandow before Sandow blocks an avalanche attempt. He hits a few forearms before Henry comes back with a boot off the ropes. Sandow rolls to the floor in front of the announce desk and starts to get back in the ring, but decides not to.
WINNER VIA COUNT-OUT: Mark Henry. After the match, Langston throws Sandow in the ring, where Henry hits a clothesline. Langston gets on the apron, and Henry accidentally whips Sandow into him. Langston recovers and chases Sandow to the back.
MATCH 4: WWE Divas Champion AJ Lee and Tamina Snuka vs. The Bella Twins (Brie and Nikki)
Natalya is on commentary for this match. Tamina knocks Brie off the apron before getting hit with a spinning headscissors by the Nikki. Nikki tackles AJ, but is then yanked off by Tamina. Tamina hits a snap suplex on Nikki before hitting a Samoan drop. AJ tags in and goes for a pin, getting 2. She applies a scissored sleeper, but Nikki breaks it by backing into the corner. She hits a snapmare and avoids a charge before tagging in Brie. Brie hits a couple dropkicks before knocking Tamina off the apron. She mounts the middle rope and hits a missile dropkick for 2 as Tamina breaks it up. Tamina then misses a splash on Nikki before the Bellas dropkick her out of the ring. AJ shoves Brie into Nikki, knocking her to the floor. AJ then applies the Black Widow on Brie and gets the submission win.
WINNERS: AJ Lee and Tamina Snuka.
John Cena makes his way down to the ring. He looks up at the two belts, which are hanging above the ring. He says things are heating up. They made history on Monday night. For the first time ever, the two champions willingly gave away their title belts. Those two belts are belts men have worked their entire lives for. 99% of all WWE superstars will never hold onto either one. So why did he and Orton give them away? Why is the World title not in Cena’s hands right now? Why does it hang about his head? Because of the moment. This Sunday is monumental, unbelievable, so obvious that even a crybaby simpleton like Randy Orton can see that this needs to happen. The sad thing is Orton doesn’t know what it’s going to take to make that happen. He’s known Orton for 12 years, and even called him a friend at times. He knows exactly what Orton is capable of. Orton inflicts pain, and is indeed the Apex Predator. But in 12 years, you learn strength and weaknesses. Orton has a glass jaw. He doesn’t like to be hit too much. Any time things don’t go Orton’s way, he runs and hides. This Sunday, he can’t run and hide. What happens when he falls off a ladder and his eye swells shut? What happens when a steel chair is wrapped around his back? What happens when he crashes through a table and it feels like he can’t move? Cena knows if it happens to him, he’ll get back up. He was built to take the beating of a lifetime, and this Sunday, he will get back up. Orton is great, but this Sunday, that is where he will fail. There will come a point where Orton is hurt, and he’s going to have to make a choice: does he keep going, or does he make an excuse and take the easy way out? This Sunday, Orton will make that choice, and he’ll show the world that he just doesn’t have the nuts. This Sunday, WWE crowns one champion, and that champ is here.
MATCH 5: Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins (w/WWE United States Champion Dean Ambrose) vs. The Usos (Jey and Jimmy)
Ambrose is on commentary for this match. Jimmy and Rollins start the match, with Jimmy applying a side headlock. He shoulders Rollins off the ropes, the two crisscross, and Rollins runs into a back elbow. Jimmy hits an uppercut and tags in Jey. Jimmy whips Rollins into a Jey clothesline for 2. Jimmy tags back in, and the two hit a modified Demolition Decapitation. Jimmy goes for the pin, getting 2. Jey tags back in and comes off the top with a double axe handle. He applies an armbar, but Rollins backs him into the corner. Reigns makes a blind tag and hits a back elbow. Rollins back in, and he boots Jey in the corner. Rollins hits a couple of chops, but Jey comes back with an uppercut. He ducks a clothesline and hits one of his own after Jimmy makes a blind tag. They hit a double throat thrust on Rollins, then send Reigns to the floor with a double thrust kick. Rollins gets backdropped to the outside, landing on the apron. One of the Usos (I couldn’t see which) knocks him to the floor by the table with a forearm. Commercials.
Back from the break, Rollins and Jimmy are legal, with Rollins trying a backslide. Jimmy counters into one of his own for 2, but Rollins escapes and hits a clothesline. Reigns tag in and they wishbone Jimmy. Reigns comes off the ropes with a flying clothesline for 2, then hits a headbutt. Reigns applies a rear chinlock now, but Jimmy counters with a jawbreaker. Reigns recovers and hits a clothesline. Rollins tags in, but Jimmy counters a double back body drop with a kick. Rollins gets low-bridged, and Reigns gets hit with a DDT. Rollins is back in, and he misses a senton. Jey makes the tag and avoids a splash in the corner. He hits a pair of clotheslines, a mule kick and an uppercut. He comes off the ropes with a flying shoulderblock and a forearm in the corner. Reigns is on the apron, and Jey knocks him off before hitting the Alley-Us on Rollins for 2. Jey signals for a superkick before avoiding a charge from Reigns. Reigns gets sent to the floor, and Rollins comes up behind Jey, looking for an inverted suplex. Jey rolls through and hits a big superkick. He goes up top for the Samoan Splash, but Rollins rolls to the floor. Jey hits him with a plancha on the outside instead. Jimmy shoves Jey out of the way for some reason, only to get blasted with a spear from Reigns. Reigns blocks a superkick from Jey, and Rollins levels Jey with a clothesline before whipping him into the ring post. Rollins is back in the ring, and Jey gets in at 9. Rollins hits his running curb stomp, then mocks CM Punk by calling for the GTS. He goes for it, then tags in Reigns. Rollins throws Jey down (without connecting with the knee), and Reigns cuts through Jey with a spear for 3.
WINNERS: Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins. CM Punk appears on the TitanTron. He’s in the basement, where the Shield is normally at. He says it’s filthy and it stinks. He knows this is their clubhouse, and they like to send messages from here. He likes to send messages, too, like the one Monday night he sent to a certain somebody that put his hands on Punk. Now, onto this Sunday. He believes it’s 3-on-1. He believes he’s walking into a wholesale slaughter. He may be going down, but the question the Shield need to ask themselves is how many of them is he taking with him? He believes the last two times he’s been in the ring with a member of the Shield, he’s exposed their weaknesses. Believe in the Best in the World.
MATCH 6: Ryback (w/Curtis Axel) vs. The Big Show (w/Rey Mysterio)
As Show comes out, Michael Cole announces a Fatal 4-Way for the tag titles this Sunday, pitting the Real Americans, the Rhodes boys, Mysterio/Show and Axel/Ryback against each other. Anyway, the match starts with Show blocking a kick and hitting an open-hand chop to the chest. He throws Ryback face-first into the corner, then hits another big chop. He follows up with a body blow and a headbutt. Ryback tries to fight back, but Show stops him with one punch. He hits another chop in the corner, and Ryback once again comes back with some shots. Show recovers and hits a couple of clotheslines, followed by a running hip bump in the corner. He goes for a spear, but Ryback catches him with a spinebuster for 2. Ryback calls for the Meat Hook, but gets goozled and hit with a chokeslam for 3.
WINNER: The Big Show. Axel nails Show from behind after the match, but Show quickly goozles him and sends him into the ropes for Mysterio’s 619. As Axel stumbles backward, he turns around into a Knockout Punch from Show.
As Michael Cole and JBL are recapping what happened earlier with Daniel Bryan and the Wyatt Family, the lights go out. The Wyatts appear on the TitanTron. Bray Wyatt says she warned him about Bryan. He tried to prove her wrong. She saw something in him. Wyatt put his neck on the line for Bryan. Deceived! There is a place in the meadow, a place you can’t hide. Walk with the Reaper, leave this world behind. That’s his special lullaby. He sings it to all his pets before he puts them down. See you Sunday.
Alberto Del Rio is in the ring for his match with Kofi Kingston. As Kofi comes out, the Miz appears and hits him with a Skull-Crushing Finale on the floor. Yet another way for WWE to put Miz on a PPV that he has no business being on. Well, at least ADR is getting less and less exposure now.
We get video from the latest Michael Cole/Triple H interview. Trips grants Randy Orton time later tonight to apologize for Monday night, and Trips will base his forgiveness on whether or not he believe Orton is sincere.
Randy Orton makes his way down to the ring for his public apology to the Authority. Orton says that, last Monday night, an unspeakable accident took place. It was supposed to be a historic night, but a brawl broke out and, in the melee, Stephanie McMahon was trampled. He thanks God she’s okay, and that’s why he’s out here right now. He wants to apologize to them, but he wants to do it face-to-face.
End of show.
Dustin Nichols is a freelance writer, and you can keep track of all of his work on his Facebook page, which can be found at www.facebook.com/DustinNicholsWriter. Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out his mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:
[amazon_link id=”B00ESZZOBS” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]WWE: Raw 20th Anniversary Collection – The 20 Greatest Episodes Uncut & Unedited[/amazon_link]
[amazon_link id=”B00EHMYKGC” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]WWE: History of the WWE[/amazon_link]