We’re in Green Bay, WI tonight, and the main event for the evening is Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler.
WWE Friday Night SmackDown kicks off with the World Champion, Sheamus, making his way to the ring. Sheamus wants to take the time to acknowledge Triple H before he gets down to business, calling him one of the toughest guys he’s ever faced. His very first WrestleMania match was against Triple H, and he also suffered his first loss at the hands of “The Game”. He doesn’t know Triple H’s future, but Trips has his respect. The conversation then turns to Alberto Del Rio, with Sheamus saying Triple H is everything ADR isn’t.
Before he can continue, Your Intellectual Savior, Damien Sandow, makes his way out. Oh, how I’ve missed this man and his fantastic beard. Sandow wants to beg our indulgence for a moment. He’s here to help all of us, specifically Sheamus. Sheamus needs help because he seems to be as ignorant as he is enormous. He comes out here and lauds Triple H, talking about him with such reverence. Might Sandow remind you that it was Triple H who led DX in an assault against Sandow on RAW 1000. Sheamus says he couldn’t forget it, calling it great. Typical response from an ignorance-spewing hooligan. Each week, this man’s comes out and drags you, the unwashed masses of the WWE Universe, further into the doldrums of your own ignorance, inadequacies and ineptitude. Sheamus calls himself a proud Irishman. Sheamus, you do nothing more than bring disgrace and dishonor, and promote a stereotype…Sheamus cuts him off and says that the reality is he and everyone else here have lives, so please do us all a favor and shut up. If you want to continue to enrich our lives, why don’t you come into the ring right now, and say it to Sheamus’ face? Sandow says that, although there is nothing more than he’d love to do than to walk down there and thrash Sheamus in a debate of philosophies, Sandow has deemed him unworthy of his time. He can’t help that; that’s just the way it is. Therefore, he has now saved Sheamus from the intellectual thrashing he would have received, and will now take his leave. You’re welcome.
MATCH 1: Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes
So, we go from a guy I love in Damien Sandow to a guy I can’t stand in Rey Mysterio. Thanks, Booker T. We get a cut-away promo from Rhodes, who talks about how Mexican stars wear their masks due to honor and heritage. In reality, it’s due to panic, fear and ugliness. Rhodes starts with a trip into a front chancery. Mysterio reverses into a hammerlock. Rhodes gets up and backs Rey into a corner, where he lays in some boots. Punch by Rhodes gets 1. Mysterio reverses a suplex into a waistlock, but Rhodes trips him. He follows up with a boot to the gut off the ropes. Mysterio comes back with a dropkick, setting up the 619. Rhodes sees it coming and slides to the floor. Rey slides to the floor, where he’s met with a boot and a slam into the announce desk. Rhodes back in the ring as we go to commercials.
Back from the break, Rhodes corner whips Rey, who responds with a boot. Rhodes comes back with a boot off the ropes and follows up with a twisting suplex for 2. Modified surfboard stretch now, which Rhodes breaks for a pin attempt, only getting 2. Stomps by Rhodes, followed by a knee lift and a standing gourdbuster and another stomp for 2. Rhodes stomps the midsection before hitting a snapmare and several knees to the back. Rear chinlock is applied, and Rhodes combines it with an armbar. Back up, Rhodes sends Rey into the corner sternum-first, then begins clawing at his mask, trying to get it off. Mysterio manages to roll through and send Rhodes face-first into the middle turnbuckle, following it up with a seated dropkick to the back that sends Rhodes to the apron. Rhodes rolls back in as Rey goes up top. Rey hits a cannonball off the top rope and follows up with a spinning headscissors, landing on his feet. Rhodes tries for a sunset flip, but Rey rolls through and lands a Buzzsaw for 2. Back up, Rhodes lands a jawbreaker and a shining wizard for 2. Rey backflips off a back suplex, dropkicks Rhodes in the knee and sets up the 619. Rhodes catches the legs this time, going back to the mask. Mysterio manages to turn this into a sunset flip and gets the 3.
WINNER: Rey Mysterio. Rhodes attacks from behind after the bell. He manages to get the mask about halfway off before Sin Cara runs down, nailing Rhodes with several kicks. He drops Rhodes into the ropes, allowing Rey to finally land the 619. Sin Cara pulls one of his masks out and places it over Rhodes’ face.
Assistant to the General Manager, Eve Torres, makes her way out. She will be doing color commentary for the next match.
MATCH 2: Natalya vs. Kaitlyn
Tie-up to start. Nattie pushes Kaitlyn into the ropes, breaking it, before kicking her in the gut. Hip throw into a side headlock. Kaitlyn counters with a headscissors, and Nattie kips out. Kaitlyn with a kick and a side headlock. Nattie shoves her off, and Kaitlyn comes back with a flying shoulderblock, sending Nattie to the floor. Nattie sidesteps a baseball slide, whipping Kaitlyn to the floor by the hair. Back in the ring, Nattie slams Kaitlyn face-first into the mat before kicking her in the ribs. Abdominal stretch is applied, with Kaitlyn eventually breaking the hold with some elbows to the thigh before hiptossing out of the hold. A quick schoolgirl gets 1, and Kaitlyn follows up with an armdrag. Dropkick and a kneelift by Kaitlyn, but she telegraphs a back body drop. Nattie nails the discus clothesline, but only gets 2. She grabs Kaitlyn by the hair, and Kaitlyn snags an inside cradle for the 3.
Matt Striker is interviewing Booker T. He says the GM position is under scrutiny as of late, especially considering what happened on RAW. We then go back to RAW, where Vickie Guerrero demands she get the job that AJ Lee currently has, resulting in AJ slapping her. Book says he had high hopes for AJ, but he thinks the pressure is getting to her, and she overstepped her boundaries with the match between Dolph Ziggler and Chris Jericho. To be blunt, AJ is off her rocker. Vickie Guerrero walks in and says that all of AJ’s friends have turned their backs on her. Vickie has received a bunch of memos suggesting she take action against AJ. Her reign of terror will come to an end, because Vickie has spoken to the Board of Directors, and they have assured her they will take action. If they don’t, Vickie will.
Sandow/Sheamus is up next.
MATCH 3: World Champion Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow (non-title)
Tie-up starts, with Sandow getting a rope break. Another tie-up, and the ref forces it to break out of the corner. Sheamus responds by grabbing Sandow by the beard and dragging him to the middle of the ring. Sandow gets in a side headlock. Sheamus sends him into the ropes and signals for a clothesline, but Sandow slides to the floor. Back in the ring, Sandow lands a boot and another side headlock. Pair of shoulders by Sheamus, and he signals for the clothesline again, with Sandow rolling to the floor once more. Sheamus follows, and Sandow sends him knee-first into the steps, before sending over them to the other side. Sandow gets back in the ring, telling the ref to count. Sheamus gets in at 8, where Sandow meets him with stomps and a knee choke. Elbow drop and some crossface shots before locking in a rear chinlock. Sheamus fights out, but is cut off by a headbutt to the kidneys and a side-Russian leg sweep. He signals for the Elbow of Disdain, but Sheamus stops him with a gut shot. Sheamus misses a shoulder in the corner, allowing Sandow to land a neckbreaker for 2. Some knees to the back and another rear chinlock by Sandow. Sheamus fights out with punches before hitting a back body drop. Sheamus hits a pair of Irish Hammers and a running kneelift, but Sandow slides out of the tilt-a-whirl attempt, rolling to the floor. Sheamus throws him back in and ducks a clothesline on the apron, tying Sandow up for the forearm shots. Sheamus hits the slingshot Battering Ram to the back, but it’s only good for 2. Irish Curse is blocked, and Sandow once again rolls to the floor. Sheamus throws him back in and looks for White Noise, but Sandow escapes. Sheamus tries for the Brogue Kick, but Sandow sees it coming and rolls to the floor once more. Sheamus throws him in again, and Sandow rolls all the way across the ring back to the floor. Sheamus tries again, but this time, Sandow shoves him away and heads to the back, giving Sheamus a count-out win.
WINNER: Sheamus. I’m just glad Sandow wasn’t fed to Sheamus. He lost, but it was only by count-out, so neither guy looks bad in the process. That’s fine with me.
MATCH 4: International Airstrike (Justin Gabriel and Tyson Kidd) vs. The Prime-Time Players (Titus O’Neil and Darren Young)
Kidd and O’Neil start off, with O’Neil powering Kidd to the mat. Kidd lands a back elbow and a backflip kick before tagging in Gabriel, and the faces hit a double springboard dropkick. Young tags in and runs into an armdrag. Gabriel trips Young before tagging in Kidd, and they hit a combination inverted rolling neck snap and kick to the chest for 2. Young powers Kidd to his corner and O’Neil tags in. Kidd lands a back kick on O’Neil and fires off some punches on Young, but turns around into a big boot by O’Neil. Mounted punches by O’Neil, and he hits a weird spinning throw before tagging in Young, and the heels hit a double-team gourdbuster. Kidd kicks Young away and ducks a corner charge before tagging in Gabriel. Gabriel comes in and hits a chop, a kick and a jumping roundhouse. Rolling forearm and roundhouse by Gabriel, and he sends an incoming O’Neil to the floor with a boot to the head. STO by Gabriel, and he goes up top. O’Neil causes a momentary distraction, but he’s taken out by Kidd. Young crotches Gabriel and lands Forever Young for the 3.
WINNERS: The Prime-Time Players. International Airstrike kind of reminds me of the Can-Am Connection or Strike Force, and that’s a good thing. Fun little match here, but Young needs to tighten up his finisher something fierce.
I don’t like Kane as a wrestler, but listening to him recite his whole career so casually in this anger management skit is hilarious. Scorpio Sky as “Harold” was pretty funny, too.
Up next, Josh Mathews interviews Alberto Del Rio.
After Mathews gives the introduction, Ricardo Rodriguez does his as well. ADR makes his way out in a 1983 Excalibur Roadster, according to Michael Cole. Sorry, I’m not a car guy. ADR says he not only defeated Randy Orton last week, he made one of the toughest men in WWE history tap out. He’s planning to do the same thing to Sheamus at NoC, to become the new World Champion. Josh asks about Sheamus beating him every time in championship matches. ADR reminds Josh of what Kane did to him at Summerslam, saying that’s nothing compared to what ADR will do to him right now.
Kane’s music hits before anything happens, and Josh runs to the timekeeper’s area as ADR and Ricardo leave. Kane grabs a mic and stays in the ring, introducing himself. As part of his anger management program, his therapist has told him to apologize to Josh. Josh, he’s sorry for throwing him over a barrier at Summerslam. Thank you for playing a role in his recovery program.
Teddy Long now heads out and tells ADR he better hope Kane is getting good grades in his class, because he’s going to be in a match with Kane right now.
Back from the break, the match is already underway.
MATCH 5: Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo Rodriguez) vs. Kane
ADR ducks a clothesline and lands several kicks and punches. Kane throws him to the corner and lands punches before kitchen sinking ADR off the ropes. Low dropkick to the back gets 1. ADR gets in a kick and mounts the middle rope, but Kane lands an uppercut, sending him to the apron. Kane pulls him back up, but ADR headbutts him before whipping his arm into the ring post through the ropes. A kick and several punches to the bad arm connect. Kane catches him by the throat off the ropes, and ADR breaks the hold with a step-up enziguri. Kane shoves off a jujigatame attempt and lands a big boot. Corner whip and clothesline, and a sidewalk slam gets 2. Kane goes up and hits the clothesline. He signals for the clothesline, but Ricardo grabs at Kane’s feet, distracting him. Kane drags him up by the hair and goes for a chokeslam, and the distraction allows ADR to hit the Backstabber for 3.
WINNER: Alberto Del Rio. After the match, Kane snaps and assaults Josh Mathews again, all the while screaming, “I’m sorry, Josh! I’m losing my temper!” He caps the assault off with a chokeslam before leaving.
Tie-up starts, with Orton going into a side headlock. Ziggler shoves him off into the ropes, and Orton comes back with a shoulder. Ziggler pops up and hits a nice dropkick. Another tie-up, and this time, it’s Ziggler with the headlock. Orton reverses, then hits another shoulder. Crisscross ends in an Orton dropkick this time, getting 1. Orton lands the Garvin Stomp before kicking Ziggler in the shoulder and raking the eyelets of his boot across Ziggler’s face. European uppercut drops Ziggler, and Orton follows up with a slingshot suplex that isn’t botched this time, getting 2. Orton telegraphs a back body drop, taking a neckbreaker in the process. Ziggler with some mounted punches and elbow drops. Jumping elbow gets 2. Rear chinlock is applied. Back up, they trade punches, with Orton dominating. Orton hits the 3.0 off the ropes. Kick to the chest and corner whip by Orton, and Ziggler responds with a running clothesline. He misses a second jumping elbow, and a corner splash. Orton goes for the Four Moves of Boredom, but Ziggler lands a hotshot out of the suspended DDT attempt. Orton decides to no-sell, firing off some punches and dragging Ziggler from the apron to the top rope for the superplex for 2. Orton gets back up, where Ziggler surprises him with a leaping DDT for 2. Ziggler goes for the sleeper, but Orton snaps him off by holding onto the ropes, then throws him over for the suspended DDT, which connects for 2. Ziggler slides to the floor, and Orton throws him over the announce desk before throwing him back in the ring. Ziggler misses the Rocker Dropper, and Orton lands the RKO for the 3.
WINNER: Randy Orton. Vickie announces Ziggler as still being the MITB winner for some reason. Okay match, but the ending was really anticlimactic.
End of show.
As always, feel free to follow me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/xdustineflx, and if you like Married…With Children, you can follow my Al Bundy parody account at http://www.twitter.com/bundyisms. Also follow my personal blog at http://nerdslikeme.blogspot.com (feedback is welcome). Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out my mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:
Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you next week.
[amazon_link id=”B008IG0ESG” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]WWE: CM Punk Best in the World DVD[/amazon_link]
[amazon_link id=”B0082SIK9A” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ] WWE: Superstar Collection – Daniel Bryan DVD[/amazon_link]