Well, TNA Wrestling Slammiversary is this weekend, and I gotta be honest: for this being TNA’s 11th anniversary show, it’s pretty subpar, not to mention loaded with gimmick matches. Is this supposed to be TNA’s answer to Extreme Rules now? Maybe it’s just a coincidence. Anyway, let’s look at the card and see who the winners will likely be.
KURT ANGLE VS. AJ STYLES
WES BRISCO, GARETT BISCHOFF AND DOC VS. JEFF HARDY, MAGNUS AND SAMOA JOE
This match was thrown together at the last minute, and really won’t mean much in the long run. It’s basically nothing more than a way to bring Hardy back on TV, and because of that alone, the TNA team is walking away the victor here. TNA will never stop shoving Hardy down our throats as long as he’s employed with the company, and I’d be willing to bet he’s back in the title hunt in no time.
WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP: DEVON (CHAMPION) VS. JOSEPH PARK
Does anyone even care about the TV title anymore? Since winning the belt, I can count on one hand the amount of times Devon has defended it. The title has never meant anything, and it’s pretty much a lost cause. Park will likely win it thanks to a distraction by his “brother” (either Abyss’ music playing or someone once again running down in Abyss’ costume), but it won’t mean much thanks to TNA’s total lack of interest for their own championship.
BOUND FOR GLORY SERIES QUALIFIER TOURNAMENT-FINAL ROUND: JAY BRADLEY VS. SAM SHAW
I love how TNA still has such little faith in Alex Silva, they not only removed him from his match with Shaw last week, but just had Shaw advance without wrestling anyone. Anyway, Shaw is a decent enough performer I guess, but he isn’t ready to be featured on TNA regularly. Bradley, on the other hand, is an awesome talent who looks like he belongs in the main event, and he is also undefeated since signing with TNA (including winning his Gut Check match). I fully expect Bradley to completely run through Shaw and move onto the BFG Series while Shaw returns to OVW for another few months before TNA remembers he still works for them and throws him a bone with a televised match against Robbie E.
LAST KNOCKOUT STANDING: GAIL KIM VS. TARYN TERRELL
Why is TNA insistent on shoving Taryn down our throats? She’s not particularly attractive, has an obnoxious voice, and despite several years in the business, is still extremely green in the ring. I do not understand why she is continuously being pushed as a major threat in the Knockouts division. While I give TNA credit for trying someone new for once, this is really the best they could do? Ugh. Anyway, thanks to this booking, Taryn is winning this match. Kim really doesn’t need the win, and a loss here won’t affect her much, but it’s just a shame she has to go through with this. At this point, you can tell Kim is just bored in TNA. She goes through the motions in every match, and only recently did she add a little bit to her gimmick by attacking the knees of her opponents. Even with that, she just doesn’t appear to be into her job and seemingly is kept on-staff just to put everyone else over.
3-WAY ULTIMATE X MATCH FOR THE WORLD X-DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP: KENNY KING (CHAMPION) VS. CHRIS SABIN VS. SUICIDE
While TNA seems to want to keep Suicide around this time, the story in this match is obviously Sabin’s return. Normally, I would say that King would win this match by pinning Suicide, which would allow Sabin to claim he still had the right to a title match, having never been pinned. However, not only is this a match where pins don’t count, but now that every X-Division match is contested in 3-ways, that finish wouldn’t mean much moving forward. I really hate the way the X-Division is set up now. I don’t like 3-ways much to begin with, and now TNA is going completely overkill with them. At least Ultimate X is being dusted off, so we should see some pretty good high spots here. Plus, it’s not a match TNA uses much anymore, so it feels fresh when they use it. All three guys are talented, and we know Sabin knows how to make this kind of match special, so I think you have your match of the night. As for the winner, I’m going with Sabin. He’s the comeback story of the year, and fans just don’t seem that interested in King anymore anyway (his “golden shower” remark certainly didn’t help). I’m thinking Sabin wins and maybe moves onto a feud with Suicide. That’s the other thing: with these 3-ways, we really only get two guys feuding, with the third man being left out, which usually means he has no chance of winning. Like I said, I hate this new format.
4-WAY ELIMINATION MATCH FOR THE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS: CHAVO GUERRERO & HERNANDEZ (CHAMPIONS VS. AUSTIN ARIES & BOBBY ROODE, BAD INFLUENCE (CHRISTOPHER DANIELS & KAZARIAN), AND GUNNER & JAMES STORM
Not sure why TNA decided to pull Gunner out of the mothballs for this match, but whatever. Storm will always be shoved down our throats, no matter what, and the fact that Gunner is once again being pushed as an intense monster isn’t going to change that. Gunner and Storm are your new champions. Aries and Roode don’t need the championships, Bad Influence can move onto a feud with Gunner and Storm, and maybe we can finally forget about Chavo and Hernandez. These are not getting over, no matter what TNA does with them.
NO HOLDS BARRED MATCH FOR THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP-IF STING LOSES, HE CAN NO LONGER COMPETE FOR THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP
Dustin Nichols is a freelance writer, and you can keep track of all of his work on his Facebook page, which can be found at www.facebook.com/DustinNicholsWriter. Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out his mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:
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