Impact Wrestling this week opens with…Hulk Hogan. Gee, there’s a shock. As usual, he’s swinging the black baseball bat that he never actually uses. He says he’s got a date with Aces and Eights, brother. He then asks the crowd to watch his back, Jack. Tonight is a turning point for this company, because Bound for Glory is just three stinking weeks away, brother. Now, with A and E, he’s been distracted as of late.
So first, business of hand (?). Tonight is “Championship Thursday”, and the championship that hangs in the balance is the TV title. He’s sorry to say that. Devon was a great champion, and he’d like to see Devon here as much as anyone else would. But, with Devon’s negotiations with the upper brass, we’ve gotta move forward. He’s hand-picked four guys that he’s going to meet with in just a little bit: Samoa Joe, Garett Bischoff, Magnus and Mr. Anderson. He guarantees tonight a new TV Champion in the ring. Next up, this James Storm/Bobby Roode debacle. This thing has been spinning out of control for over a year.
It’s so far out of control that the referees have given up. So, to straighten this out, he’s putting them in a street fight at BFG. Not only that, but there will be a special enforcer, and we’ll see him next week, that being King Mo. Great. Now that he’s got these two issues settled, it’s time for A and E. They want him, they got him. Tonight, Hogan’s going to their clubhouse, and we’re going to see what they’re made of. He took one of their members trying to get justice, and in turn, they took Joe Abyss. The group has messed with the wrestlers, as well as his daughter. Tonight, Hogan is going in for a fight.
Mr. Anderson mentions his most memorable BFG moment, that being 10/10/10, otherwise known as “Therre Herre”.
MATCH 1-Triple Threat Match: Kurt Angle (w/AJ Styles) vs. Chavo Guerrero (w/Hernandez) vs. World Tag Team Co-Champion Christopher Daniels (w/Kazarian)
Daniels immediately leaves the ring to let Angle and Chavo fight. The faces double slingshot him back in the ring. Alternating strikes by the faces, and now Angle sends Daniels to the corner for some more punches. Chavo and Angle trade European uppercuts on Daniels before Angle begins stomping away. Chavo with stomps, too. Double corner whip, but Angle misses a shoulder thrust and goes into the post. Chavo takes Daniels down with a clothesline. Kaz trips Chavo behind the ref’s back, and when Chavo looks, he sees AJ standing there, thinking AJ did it. He jumps down to get in AJ’s face, and Hernandez is apparently blind, too, as he starts some yelling. Meanwhile, Kaz climbs in the ring as Angle walks up to the other three outside and tells them all what really happened. Both face teams climb into the ring as the champs jump out to the apron. The referee is trying to restore order as we go to commercials.
We’re back, and Daniels has Angle in a top wristlock. We learn that, during the break, all three tag partners were ejected. Angle hits running forearm, a clothesline and a release German suplex. German for Chavo as well. Angle looks for the Angle Slam, but Chavo counters into an armdrag. Chavo sends Angle to the floor with a clothesline before teeing off on Daniels. Chavo with a spinning headscissors off the ropes and a dropkick. A somersault senton gets 2 as Angle breaks up the pin. Overhead belly-to-belly on Chavo sends him to the floor, and Daniels takes the Angle Slam. Straps are down, and he applies the ankle lock. Chavo comes back in and rolls Angle up in a schoolboy for 2. Angle counters a suplex into a waistlock, but Chavo sidesteps a charging Daniels, sending him into Angle. Chavo hits the 3 Amigos on Daniels and goes up top, but Angle comes in and applies the ankle lock. Daniels rolls through, sending Angle into the corner where Chavo is standing. Chavo falls to the apron and rolls back in to scream at Angle. Daniels shoves Chavo into Angle, then hits an STO on Chavo for the 3.
WINNER: Christopher Daniels.
Hulk is in his office with the four TV title contenders. He says he didn’t want things to go down this way, but since they have, we need a new champion. He needs to know who wants it the most. Garett, why do you think you deserve to be in this room? Garett says from day one, he’s been fighting for a chance like this, and Devon saw something in him. Hogan asks if he can deliver whatever it was Devon saw in him. Garett says he can. Magnus asks how he qualifies, being Devon’s partner? Anderson’s turn to plead his case. He spews some BS that I refuse to recap, and then says that what you see is what you get. Hogan likes that. Of course he does. He then asks Joe if these other guys deserve to be in the ring with him. He says absolutely not. Anderson wants to fight someone. Hogan asks who he wants to fight, and he picks Garett. Magnus says the TV Champion needs to fight on TV, and no one is represented in the media more across the world than him. Joe says no one wants to fight him tonight. Hogan says he needs to separate Joe and Magnus, and he eliminates Magnus.
Elsewhere, Tara is pacing. Brooke Hogan walks up, and Tara says she’s late. Brooke says something about saying there would be consequences last week, but before she can finish, Tara has a phone call. It’s apparently her Hollywood boyfriend. She’s pretending to ramble on about Stacy Keibler and George Clooney before hanging up. Brooke tells her she needs to earn a title match. The boyfriend calls back immediately, and Tara tells him she is annoying. Brooke grabs the phone, takes it away and says Tara’s match is next.
MATCH 2-Winner becomes the new #1 contender to the Knockouts Championship: Tara vs. Knockouts Tag Team Co-Champion ODB (w/Eric Young)
Tenay reminds us how worthless those tag straps are by stating the last time they were defended was March or April. ODB starts the match by throwing Tara in the ring by her hair. They trade punches in the corner, and ODB whips Tara by the hair once more. Another whip, and Tara rolls to the floor. ODB chases her back in the ring and knocks her down with a shoulderblock. ODB hits some shoulder thrusts in the corner, followed by a corner whip, an avalanche and a bronco buster. Tara rolls to the floor, where she argues with Young. She tries to get back in the ring, but receives a baseball slide. ODB climbs to the floor and smacks her on the ass. Back in the ring, Tara offers a handshake. ODB grabs her by the arm and hits a short-arm clothesline. Another clothesline follows, as does a fall-away slam. ODB boots her in the bad knee, sending her to through the ropes to the floor. ODB tackles her and hits some mounted punches before throwing her back in the ring. Tara sits up and begins taking her brace off. Referee Taryn Terrell is checking on her, keeping ODB away. Tara sneaks in a roll-up and gets the pin with her foot on the ropes.
WINNER AND NEW #1 CONTENDER: Tara.
Up next, the Gut Check judges discuss Evan Markopoulos.
Bruce Prichard yells at Al Snow about his issues with Joey Ryan. Snow calls it bullsh*t. Prichard says he’s not a wrestler anymore, and when he put his hands on Ryan, he looked unprofessional and is creating potential legal issues. Snow says he made a mistake, and will fix it. Taz walks in so they can talk about Evan. Taz was pleasantly surprised by him with how young he was. Snow says it takes a lot of balls to start at 13 like he did. Prichard loves that as well, and sees passion there. Snow points out the lack of maturity with his age, and wonders if he can handle the pressure.
Bully Ray is approached by AI, but Ray tells him not to bother him when he’s on Twitter. Ray names off a couple people who aren’t his partner for tonight against Aries and Hardy.
In yet another backstage area, Hogan is with the three remaining contenders. He’s not worried about Joe; he’s worried about the other two. Anderson wants to fight Garett right now. Garett says he can hang with these two, and they laugh at him. Hogan says Garett has been on a role in his short time in the ring, but it’s not his time right now. So, it will be Joe vs. Anderson for the title up next.
As if there hasn’t been enough talking tonight, we’re in Austin Aries’ locker room right now, and Bobby Roode walks in. Roode just wants to talk. They don’t like each other, but they have earned each others’ respect. Roode says he’ll be Ray’s partner tonight against Aries and Hardy. Roode points out that he can’t get another title match as long as Aries is champion, so he’s really pulling for Jeff Hardy at BFG. He’s been in the ring with Hardy many times as champion and was always able to beat him. However, Roode has never been able to beat Aries. So, when he looks at it, Aries is the better wrestler and the better man. Do we want a guy like Hardy walking around with the title, stealing spots of the guys like him and Aries? Aries deserves his spot, and tonight, he’s sure Aries and Hardy will be a great team. Aries tells him luck is for losers.
MATCH 3: World Television Championship: Samoa Joe vs. Mr. Anderson
They trade punches to start. Anderson goes for the Mic Check early, and Joe throws him off. Joe goes for the Kokina Clutch, and Anderson escapes. Joe hits some punches in the corner, and follows up with a running hip bump and a jumping roundhouse to the head for 2. Punches by Anderson, and he’s dropped by a running back elbow from Joe. Joe with a snapmare and a chop to the back, but he misses the kick to the chest, allowing Anderson to snag him in a schoolboy for 2. Swinging neckbreaker by Anderson for 2. Joe hits a back elbow out of the corner and mounts the turnbuckles. Anderson cuts him off and attempts to go for the rolling fireman’s carry slam, but Joe escapes into the Kokina Clutch, which is countered via a jawbreaker from Anderson. Anderson goes for the fireman’s carry again and hits it, but Joe hangs on and counters into a crucifix for 2. Joe hits a headbutt, but misses a clothesline, and Anderson connects with one of his own. Anderson goes for the Mic Check yet again, and Joe elbows out. Anderson gets him in a waistlock into a roll-up, but Joe counters that into the Kokina Clutch. Anderson almost gets a rope break, but Joe traps the arm and rolls him over, keeping the Clutch locked in. Anderson eventually passes out, giving Joe the win.
WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION: Samoa Joe, making him only the second official Grand Slam winner in TNA history (TNA no longer recognizes NWA belts, so Abyss doesn’t count).
Video package for Aces and Eights.
We see Hogan and Sting in the back. Hogan says let him be the peacemaker. Some woman walks up and says Bruce Prichard to sign some documents. Hogan begins to sign them, and the woman maces both of them. Some members of A and E show up and beat both men down before putting hoods on them and throwing them in a rape van. The blonde guy grabs a video camera and says they’ll send plenty of pictures.
It’s time to decide Evan Markopoulos’ fate. Jeremy Borash introduces the judges. For whatever reason, we need to know Taz’s hometown during these introductions. Evan now makes his way out as Borash reminds us for the 812th time that Evan is only 18. Evan comes out, doing the American Males clap. He just lost my vote with that. Borash asks if he put his best effort forward last week. Evan says no, because he lost. He got his ass kicked, but he’s back tonight. Taz is up first, and he says Evan has a huge future in the business, and is ahead of the curve for his age. He’d like to see him learn the rest in TNA, so his vote is yes. Prichard is up next. He says he has a hell of a future, and he has Prichard’s respect. Not enough people want it as bad as him. With that being said, his answer is no, because Evan needs more time. Now, it’s Evan’s turn to convince Snow he deserves a yes. He points out that, when he was born in 1994, Snow was trying to make a name for himself in SMW and ECW, and was not 18. He got his ass kicked last week, and he’ll get his ass handed to him every week if that means a job in TNA. If Snow says yes, he’s going to grab the ball and run to the end zone with it. Snow says Evan is the epitome of what Gut Check is about-finding future stars and kids with heart. He’s seen it all in 30 years, and those who lack passion never become stars. He believes Evan has the talent to be a star, but he’s 18, and doesn’t feel he’s ready, so his answer is no. Evan shakes everyone’s hands and leaves to a nice applause. He seemed like a decent kid with heart, but I agree that he’s not ready. He was not nearly as bad as Kris Lewie, but still needs some fine tuning.
Footage from the A and E clubhouse has just arrived. It starts off with Hogan and Sting sitting a table, with the hoods still over their heads. The Black Scorpion says they need to show respect, because the boss is on his way.
Magnus’ BFG moment was winning his first-ever championship, the tag titles, with Douglas Williams.
More A and E footage. The boss is here, with his back turned to the camera. He calls Sting and Hogan “Batman and Robin”, and “Captain and Tenille”. He’s also using the same Black Scorpion voice changer as the first guy. Hogan asks who he is. He says that’s not important. He apologizes for the transportation, but he couldn’t have them MapQuest the clubhouse. He says the problem is they were having fun until Hogan played chess and locked them out of the building. They want to fix that, so he has a proposition. Hogan says he wants to fight. Leader says that’s all in good time. This is their house and their rules, and this is their deal. They want to come and go in the Impact Zone as they please. They’ve been spending time with Joe Abyss, who we now see is tied to a table, and next to him is a guy with an axe. Leader says he’ll let them all go eventually, but first, here’s the deal. He wants Hogan to pick two guys from his “brotherhood” to face two guys from the A and E group. Hogan says he and Sting will do it themselves. Leader tells him that, for the first time in his adult life, this isn’t about Hogan. This is about seeing what happens when you mess with them, and knowing it’s because of him. If Leader’s guys win, they get full access. If Hogan’s guys win, A and E disappears. Sting calls Leader a piece of crap, and they actually bleep “crap” (despite “assh*le” being censored earlier). Hogan says it’s still going to be them, and Leader says they’re not listening. This isn’t about Hogan and Sting; this is Hulk watching what happens. Hogan says they have a deal, now let Joe go. Leader says Joe will be let go after the match. He’s their insurance. Nothing happens between now and BFG. Hogan says nothing better happen to Joe. Leader says nothing will, and Hogan has his word. We see the guy next to Joe trying to light a blowtorch.
The main event is up next.
We get Storm’s reaction to the street fight. He says it’s about time, because he’s sick of Roode’s games. At BFG, two men walks in, one walks out. With King Mo, it’s great that he wants to make a name for himself here, but all Storm needs is Mo to raise his arm when he kicks Roode’s teeth down his throat. Stupid catchphrase.
MATCH 4: Bobby Roode and Bully Ray vs. Jeff Hardy and World Champion Austin Aries
Aries orders Hardy to start for their team, while Ray starts for his. Ray clubs Hardy down, then fires off some punches in the corner. Hardy counters a corner whip with a spinning headscissors, then lands an armdrag. Aries and Roode tag in now. A pair of deep armdrags for Roode, and a drop toehold for Ray, who tried to come in the ring. Aries taunts them both in the corner. Hardy comes in and does a double clothesline on the heels, then taunts Aries. Commercials.
Back from the break, Hardy hits a middle rope splash on Roode for 2. Commercials.
WINNERS: Austin Aries and Jeff Hardy. After the match, Aries gets in Hardy’s face once more.
We cut to the parking lot, where A and E are apparently dropping off Hogan and Sting. They pull Sting’s hood off, and he turns around to attack them, but the blonde guy pulls a knife on him. Yes, a knife. Didn’t TNA learn anything from the infamous “Skins Match” in WCW? The gang leaves, and Sting yells that he’s coming, and he’s bringing someone with him.
End of show.
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