This week on TNA Impact Wrestling we get a World title rematch from BFG between AJ Styles and Bully Ray.
Dixie Carter makes her way out, with a horrible new remix of her horrible entrance theme. We see a celebration set up for AJ in the ring, including a banner and some t-shirts. Dixie says tonight is not about her, but another important person. She might have made a mistake recently, and we need to clean that up. So, everything you see in the ring is her way of admitting to that mistake. That’s in the past, and she’s all about the future, and the future is a legend. The future is a man who overcame all the odds at BFG. He is a man that she is so proud to call her World Heavyweight Champion. Please help welcome “The Phenomenal One”, AJ Styles.
Bully Ray and Brooke make their way out on this note. Commercials.
Back from the break, Ray and Brooke are in the ring. Ray says he didn’t travel all the way to “Salt Crap City” just to have her take his title shot. AJ tells him to shut up, because he’s going to want to hear what AJ has to say. He’s the champ and Ray is the challenger. Ray will get his turn. He tells Dixie if she thinks he’s going to get on her private jet, she’s dumber than we all thought. As for the title rematch, maybe that applies to guys under contract, which AJ is not. However, he didn’t come to SLC to do nothing; he came to defend the title, because that’s what a champion does, and he’s going to beat Ray in the ring tonight, and there’s nothing she can do about it. Ray says AJ isn’t fighting Dixie; he’s fighting Ray. There’s one word to sum up AJ’s victory at BFG: lucky. AJ got lucky, because there’s no way in hell a kid like him could beat a man like Ray. It was all Earl Hebner’s fault. Ray kicked out after the Spiral Tap, and AJ knows it. He calls Hebner a blind old bastard who didn’t see him kick out, and that’s the only way AJ could beat him. Tonight, Ray is going to beat the piss out of AJ, then he’s going to beat him. He’s going to take the title and send AJ back home to his ugly wife and kids. In the wrestling business, AJ is a boy. Ray is a god, and if God was a bully, he’d be Ray. AJ says Ray shouldn’t be concerned about his family; he should be concerned about his own. Aces and Eights didn’t help him at BFG, and they won’t help him tonight. Tonight, he’s going to beat Ray, take the belt into the crowd, celebrate with his fans, hold the belt and ask Ray if he knows who he is, then tell him he’s the World Champion. Ray hits a sucker punche on Ray, then grabs a framed poster and hits him with it. He follows up with some shots with a folded up easel, then trashes the rest of the stuff in the ring. He clears the table that’s in there and sets up a powerbomb. The lights go out, and we hear Mr. Anderson’s music. He comes out and charges the ring. They start trading punches, and Anderson gets the bets of it. He sets Ray up in the corner for mounted punches and hits about 20 of them before Ray bails to the outside.
After some commercials, we see Anderson still in the ring, mic in-hand. Oh, how I didn’t miss this. He says he missed the fans and asks if they missed him, too. Who he really missed, though, was Bully Ray. Do you think Ray missed him? He twists his neck around a few times to show that he’s fine, then says his neck feels good. He’s been sitting at home for the last couple of months, watching, and he saw what Ray was doing. Everyone is getting sick and tired of Ray’s act. As he continues to ramble, Dixie Carter comes out, flanked by security and Martin Casaus. She orders them to handcuff him and get him out of the building. Anderson says he hasn’t been arrested in a while, then begins assaulting all of the security team before sticking his wrists out and accepting the handcuffs. As I told Martin on FB, his tiny cameo here would be more entertaining than the rest of the show altogether. Thus far, he’s proving me correct. Eventually, Anderson is escorted up the ramp and to the back.
MATCH 1: Knockouts Champion Gail Kim and Brooke (w/Lei’D Tapa) vs. Velvet Sky and ODB
Tapa got her own entrance, despite not actually being a competitor in this match. ODB yanks Brooke into the ring by her hair, then hits a clothesline. She sends Brooke crashing into the buckles and follows up with a bronco buster. Brooke rolls to the floor, and as ODB goes after Kim on the apron, Brooke pulls her to the outside, where she lands face-first on the floor. Brooke slams her head into the floor and rolls her back into the ring before tagging Kim in. ODB hits some elbows from her knees, but gets tackled down. Brooke tags back in and fish-hooks ODB near the ropes. Brooke sits down on ODB’s back a couple of times, then sets her in the corner for a Mug Shot. ODB throws her off, then looks for the tag to Sky. Kim tags in as Sky does the same. Sky hits a couple of clotheslines, a back elbow and a spinning headscissors. She hits a running neckbreaker off the ropes for 2 as Brooke breaks up the pin. ODB spears Brooke and takes her down to the floor. Kim goes outside and grabs a chair. As The referee tries to get it from her, Tapa comes in and nails a boot to Sky’s face. Kim rolls back into the ring and gets the 3.
WINNERS: Brooke and Gail Kim.
Ethan Carter III, who I am now learning is Dixie Carter’s storyline nephew, will make his Impact debut tonight.
We see the Bro-Mans in the locker room area, celebrating becoming the new World Tag Team Champions this past Sunday. After Jesse rambles on for a minute, Robbie E says they’ll have the biggest “cele-bro-tion” in history tonight. The two then begin using a ton of hairspray as E keeps yelling, “Boom!”
MATCH 2: Ethan Carter III vs. Dewey Barnes
For some reason, Christy Hemme had trouble with Carter’s introduction. Apparently, his opponent is some schlub from Tennessee who normally wrestles as “White Tiger” while simultaneously handling merchandise sales at TNA events. Dude appears to weigh about 100 lbs. soaking wet. Carter hits a waistlock takedown right off the bat, then goes for another one. Barnes counters, and the two trade standing switches several times. Carter backs him into the corner, then beats him down before picking him up and throwing him back to the corner. Carter hits a chop to the chest and follows up with a hiptoss before hitting a running boot in the opposite corner. He shoves Barnes to the mat before Barnes comes back with some rights. Barnes ducks a clothesline and hits a couple forearms before going up top, connecting with a missile dropkick. Carter recovers, applies a side headlock and turns it into a headlock driver for 3.
WINNER: Ethan Carter III. Sorry, but Dean Ambrose does it better. After the match, Carter tells us he is EC3, and he’s a Carter. The world needs them.
We see Sting and Magnus sitting in a luxury box from earlier today. Magnus apologizes for not showing the right amount of respect at the end of their BFG match. Sting gave him the opportunity, and he appreciates that. Sting says their good, and he hopes he passed to torch to Magnus. Magnus says it’s Sting’s world, and they’re just living in it.
Kurt Angle makes his way out to the ring and says that, last weekend was a tough one for him to forget. He’s very emotional right now. It was great to hear talent talk to him at the Hall of Fame dinner, but the next night, when he got into the ring, he couldn’t accept his induction. He feels he has so much more left to prove, but when that time comes, he will take his place in the HOF. Now, onto his match at BFG. It was one of the most physical he’s ever had, it took a toll on his body, and he wound up knocking himself out off a top rope Angle Slam…
Bobby Roode makes his way out and gets in Angle’s face. He says it’s pathetic, listening to excuse, after excuse, after excuse. The real reason Angle declined his induction at BFG was he knew deep down he could not beat Roode. It was a good choice, because Roode beat him fair and square in the middle of the ring. For two years, Roode has lived with that feeling of failure. Two years ago at BFG, he had the chance to main event the PPV with Angle for the World title, and Roode failed. Since then, Roode has lived with that failure, but now, it’s Angle’s turn to have that feeling. Last Sunday, the “It Factor” defeated the Olympic gold medalist. Angle says Roode is a bad SOB, but he’s not better than Angle. Angle won’t make any excuses, but instead, he wants a match with Roode right now. Roode takes his jacket off and says he’d love to wrestle right now, but he can’t. Better yet, Angle can’t, and he knows damn well why. Roode says there’s some info that Angle hasn’t shared, and that’s a doctor’s note. In that match, Angle tore the cartilage in his knee and hasn’t been cleared to wrestle. As much as Roode would love to kick his ass again right now, he’s just simply not allowed. Roode hands Angle a doctor’s note. Angle said he doesn’t know where Roode got this, but he’s right. Angle isn’t cleared to wrestle, but that doesn’t mean he can’t fight. Angle sucker-punches Roode and begins wailing on him before security steps in the ring and separates them. Hey, there’s Martin again!
We see Bully Ray with Garett Bischoff and Knux in the back. He says Mr. Anderson is selfish. He didn’t come back to make amends with the club; he came back for revenge on Ray. Anderson has always been selfish, and needs to be taken care of. He orders Knux and Garett to go down to the jail and make sure Anderson doesn’t post bail while he stays here and wins back the World title. Everyone agrees and parts ways.
We see Dixie Carter on her cellphone in her office, apparently talking to a lawyer. She’s asking the lawyer to take care of something right now, and that’s when her assistant notices the door is open and slams it shut.
The Bro-Mans come out, complete with awful new entrance music. Seems to be a running theme tonight. Holy hell, is their new theme generic, too. We see a deejay in the ring, and on another table, we see a pile of protein bars and bottles of champagne. Robbie E asks if this is a party or what, bro. Sunday, at BFG, was the biggest night in “bro-man” history. A “You can’t wrestle” chant breaks out. Back to the interview, E says himself and Jesse did what no one else could…
James Storm and Gunner interrupt the promo, which also seems to be a running theme tonight. Storm orders “DJ Anus” to get out of the ring. He’s so clever. He grabs a bottle of champagne, pops the cork and drinks some as Gunner eats protein bars. He makes fun of E’s pants, and then tells him the Bro-Mans will have the shortest title reign in TNA history, as next week, Storm and Gunner are going to kick…
Bad Influence now interrupt. Kazarian says he’s looking at two bros, one brain, a crying cowboy and a pretend Viking. What those four, on the other hand, are looking at is the best tag team in the business. They are petitioning for a title match in order to become 3-time World Tag Team Champions. Christopher Daniels tells everyone they have the wrong beverages for this party. Beer is for the lower class, and you don’t drink champagne unless you’re a pretentious poser. Instead, you drink a man’s drink, like an appletini. Storm takes Daniels’ drink out of his hand, takes a sip and tells Gunner to get rid of it. Gunner throws it in Daniels’ face, and now the other five men are brawling as Daniels tries to get the booze out of his eyes. Joseph Park and Eric Young hit the ring, and before long, Daniels grabs a beer bottle and smashes it over Park’s head. Park is bleeding, and of course he notices the blood. BI flee from the ring as Jesse is pounding on EY in the corner. Park turns him around and chokeslams him. He then exits the ring and begins charging after BI.
MATCH 3-World Championship: Bully Ray (w/Brooke) vs. AJ Styles (Champion)
As JB is doing the formal introductions, Ray tells him to shut up and get out of here. He does his own introduction, but before he can finish it, AJ nails him with rights before shouldering him in the corner. AJ continues the assault with some chops before throwing Ray into two different corners. He hits another chop in a third corner, then nails a right to the face. AJ hits a snapmare and follows up with a kick to the spine. They go into a crisscross that ends with a dropkick by AJ. Ray hits an elbow out of the corner, then fires off some left jabs. He goes for the Flip, Flop & Fly, but AJ cuts it short with a Ghetto Blaster and rolls Ray up for 2. AJ hits a kick to the chest and an elbow to the back before taking a horrible face-bump off what looked to be a back body drop attempt that turned into a pancake. Commercials.
Back from the break, Ray is mocking Hulk Hogan. AJ begins to fight back with some rights to the gut and face before the two hit simultaneous clotheslines. Ray is up first, and he applies a bearhug.. AJ breaks the hold by boxing the ears before running into a back body drop. Ray circles AJ for a jumping elbow, but AJ rolls out of the way at the last second. Ray gets back to his feet, and the two trade rights. After the exchange, Ray hits a chop to the chest. AJ nails a clothesline and a roundhouse. He gets backdropped to the outside, lands on the apron and hits the Superman for 2. AJ goes for a fireman’s carry, but Ray easily escapes and hits a Samoan drop for 2. He mounts the middle rope, and AJ cuts him off with a right before mounting the top rope and going for a hurricanrana. Ray shoves him off and goes for a senton, but misses. AJ rolls to the apron and goes for the springboard 450 splash, which also misses. Ray covers him, but only gets 2. Ray sets AJ up top, and AJ blocks a right. He goes for a tornado DDT, but Ray throws him off right into referee Earl Hebner, knockinghim down. AJ applies the Calf Killer, but Hebner doesn’t see Ray tap. AJ releases the hold, not realizing Hebner is down. He goes to wake Hebner up, and that’s when Ray comes in from behind and clotheslines AJ with his heavy chain. Ray hits the Bully Cutter and goes for the pin, but AJ kicks out at 2. Ray grabs the chain again and holds it over his head. Mr. Anderson shows up at ringside and hotshots Ray. AJ rolls Ray up in a crucifix and gets 3.
WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: AJ Styles. After the match, Ray and Anderson begin trading punches on the ramp as security and referees come down to try and split them up. Dixie Carter pops up on the big screen and has a contract in her hand. She is on her way to the ring and orders AJ not to leave.
End of show.
Dustin Nichols is a freelance writer, and you can keep track of all of his work on his Facebook page, which can be found at www.facebook.com/DustinNicholsWriter. Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out his mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:
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