This week’s TNA Impact Wrestling opens with Dixie Carter, flanked by two security guards carrying a briefcase. Congratulations, Dixie. Your mere presence has now made me hate TNA more than nearly anything in life. She says she knows how Michelangelo felt when he painted the Sistine Chapel: great works of art take time. F*CK YOU, DIXIE. And guess what? This Sunday at BFG, it will be her finest work ever. Michelangelo didn’t have to work with a redneck AJ Styles splattering paint all over his masterpiece. Speaking of splattering, Bully Ray splattered and destroyed AJ last week. AJ was too dumb to stay down.
Doesn’t AJ want to walk away with a tiny piece of his integrity left? As a leader, Dixie’s job is to motivate, and she does it really well. Her other job is to evaluate, and tonight, she’ll do both. Tonight, she has a contract signing for the BFG main event planned, but then she thought, what if AJ didn’t make it to the contract signing, and another talent stepped up to impress her, solidify his place and walk away $50,000 richer, making tonight AJ’s final night in this company? That sounds so good to her. AJ may have walked away from the money last week, but there is someone who won’t repeat that stupid mistake. When that happens, AJ will not be in the main event at BFG, but what will happen is that spot will go to someone else. Creating opportunities and making people rich is what she does best. She has a security guard open up the briefcase to show the crowd the 50 grand, showing the phoniest-looking money this side of a Monopoly set.
Bully Ray and Brooke make their way out. He says they haven’t always seen eye-to-eye, and he sounds for all the world like he just smoked 6 packs of cigarettes before coming out here. He says 50 grand buys a lot. Last week, he took AJ out for free. Tonight, he’ll do it for the money, and he doesn’t care who he faces at BFG at that point.
We see Kurt Angle enter the building.
Aces and Eights are in the back. Ray says last week was a thing of beauty. It felt old school, the way they destroyed AJ. He said he’d give them the spotlight and all the glory, and they took it. He’s so proud of them. Tonight, Knux gets another chance at the spotlight, plus 50 grand. He’s going to take on one-half of the tag champs, and Garett Bischoff will be in his corner. Just in case, Ray has their backs tonight, just like he knows they have his back.
MATCH 1-4-Way Match: Robbie E vs. Hernandez vs. Christopher Daniels vs. Eric Young
Apparently, this match determines some kind of order for a tag team gauntlet match at BFG that we’re just hearing about for the first time, despite the fact that the PPV is this Sunday. Pretty typical of TNA, really. E and EY start the match, meaning this has tag rules. E clubs EY and sends him into the corner. EY avoids the charge and hits a flying forearm for 1. We learn that the winner of the gauntlet match will face the tag champs at the PPV. Anyway, Hernandez tags himself in off EY and hits a slingshot shoulderblock. Hernandez hits a chop, and that’s when E tags out to Daniels. Hernandez boots Daniels, then goes for an over-the-shoulder backbreaker. Daniels escapes and runs into a standing avalanche. Hernandez hits a double-choke suplex and follows up with a bodyslam. E nails him off the ropes, so Hernandez knocks him to the floor. Daniels knocks Hernandez to the floor from behind, and E gets in some cheap shots before rolling Hernandez back in the ring. Daniels hits a jumping side kick for 1 before E tags himself back in. E hits a snapmare on Hernandez and fires off some rights before hitting a forearm drop from the middle rope for 2. E applies a front chancery as Daniels prevents EY from tagging in. He boots Hernandez, and Hernandez comes back by breaking a double clothesline attempt and hitting one of his own. EY tags , and he hits a double dropkick from the top rope. E attacks both heels and goes for a piledriver on Daniels, but E breaks it and hits a jawbreaker. Daniels hits an STO and goes for the pin, but E breaks it up at 2. The heels argue until Daniels knocks him down with a shove. Hernandez comes flying into the ring with Air Mexico on Daniels. He hits a Pounce on E, sending him to the outside. Daniels avoids an avalanche in the corner, sending Hernandez back to the floor. EY gets sent into the corner, does the Flair Flop, slides back into the ring and hits a belly-to-belly suplex. He goes up top for the flying elbow drop, and E tags himself in without EY knowing. EY hits the elbow, but before he can get the pin, E shoves him to the floor and covers Daniels for 3.
WINNER: Robbie E, who wins his first match in roughly a year.
AI stops AJ Styles in the back and asks who he’s going to be able to trust tonight. AJ says you can’t trust anyone with a bounty on your head, and as he says this, Jesse clobbers him from behind. He hits some rights before AJ throws him into a wall and knocks him out with a right. He turns to AI and says it’ll be a long night.
AJ Styles makes his way out to the ring and tells Dixie she reeks of desperation. You want to put a bounty on his head, then give someone the opportunity to go to BFG if they take him out? He’s flattered by that, as well as the fact that she’s worried he’s going to win at BFG. Dixie is scared to death, and she knows when he wins the title at BFG, he’s going to make her pay. So, all of you that want to cash in on the bounty, he’s not going to run or hide. Come and get paid.
Knux and Garett Bischoff make their way out, and AJ immediately tackles Knux. However, Garett nails him from behind, and AJ is being overwhelmed by the two. James Storm and Gunner make their way out, and they chase Knux and Garett out of the ring. Storm looks at AJ on the outside, nods at him and shakes his hand. AJ heads to the back, and Knux vs. Gunner is next.
MATCH 2: Knux (w/Garett Bischoff) vs. World Tag Team Co-Champion Gunner (w/James Storm)
Garett grabs Gunner’s foot on the outside, which allows Knux to attack Gunner from behind. He elbows Gunner in the corner, then throws him into the adjacent corner before choking him over the middle rope. Gunner blocks a back body drop and hits a clothesline off the ropes. Knux trips him into the middle buckle. Gunner comes back with some forearms and sends Knux into the corner, but Knux blocks him with a big boot and hits a clothesline for 2. Knux headbutts Gunner, then boots him in the face. Gunner fights back before running into an awkward bearhug. Knux backs Gunner into the corner before hitting a bodyslam and a kneedrop. Knux applies a rear chinlock, but Gunner fights out and goes for a sunset flip. Knux stands firm and hits a legdrop. Both men get up and hit simultaneous clotheslines. On the ramp, Garett and Storm are getting into an argument. Storm spits beer in his face. Back in the ring, Gunner and Knux trade rights until Gunner hits a clothesline and a fall-away slam. He calls for the Gun Rack, but can’t get Knux up. Knux hits a running cross-body for 2. He screams for Bully Ray to get out here, and as he turns around, Gunner spears him for 3.
AI is in the back with Chris Sabin and Velvet Sky. He asks Sabin his thoughts on AJ Styles tonight. Sabin has been robbed of the main event with his Ultimate X Match, but he’s going to change that by collecting that 50 grand tonight.
We see Garett and Knux in the back. Garett is wondering where the hell Bully Ray was, and Knux is wondering the same thing. He says the next time Ray needs their help, it’s going to be very interesting.
We see Brooke in the back, taking self-portraits of her ass. Gail Kim walks in and tells her she looks fabulous. BFG is coming up, and it’s the biggest PPV of the year, but tonight she has something more important to worry about, and that’s Lei’D Tapa. She thinks they should watch each others’ backs. Brooke says it’s every knockout for themselves, she only watches out for one person aside from herself, and Kim looks “a little too ratchet” for him.
We see Chris Sabin in the back, looking for AJ. A security guard says he hasn’t seen AJ, and as Sabin leaves, he’s cut off by Samoa Joe. Joe says Sabin must be searching for AJ, and he understands. The funny thing is, Sabin doesn’t have his priorities straight. It’s him and Joe tonight, then Ultimate X at BFG. If he can survive all of that, then maybe he can pursue this bounty afterwards. Unfortunately, Joe is a very big if.
MATCH 3: Chris Sabin (w/Velvet Sky) vs. Samoa Joe
A lock-up starts the match, and Joe backs Sabin into the corner. Sabin thumbs him in the eye and hits a few rights. Joe avoids a corner charge and hits a series of quick jabs, knocking Sabin down to the mat. He hits a running hip bump across the ring off a corner whip and follows up with a spin kick to the head. Joe gives Sabin the Face Wash and goes for the running boot, but Sabin slides to the floor to hug Sky. Joe pulls him back into the ring by the hair and hits a kneelift. Sabin gets sent into the corner, avoids a charge and hits a series of chops and punches. Joe no-sells all of them and knocks Sabin down with one chop. Sabin rolls to the floor and decides he wants to bail. Joe comes after Sabin, so Sabin uses Sky as a shield. He shoves her aside and runs at Joe on the ramp, who catches Sabin in a fireman’s carry. Sabin escapes and hits a DDT on the ramp before running back into the ring. Joe crawls to the ring, making it back in at 9. Sabin immediately stomps him as he jumps back in the ring, then chokes him over the middle rope. Sabin fires off some rights to the gut in the corner, then sends Joe across the ring, hitting a running forearm in the process. Joe gets sent back across the ring, and this time, Sabin runs into a standing uranage. Joe hits an inverted atomic drop, a running boot and a running senton for 2. Joe sets him up for the Muscle Buster, but Sabin breaks free and bites Joe in the face before hitting a springboard tornado DDT for 2. Sabin looks for the Cradle Shock, but Joe escapes and tries to apply a full-nelson. Sabin escapes and rolls Joe up, but Joe pulls him back and locks in the Kokina Clutch for the submission win.
WINNER: Samoa Joe. After the match, Austin Aries runs down to the ring and takes Joe out with a missile dropkick. Jeff Hardy runs down as well, ducks a clothesline by Aries and hits the Twist of Fate. He grabs a ladder from under the ring and throws it in, setting it up near the corner. Hardy climbs, but Sabin gets back in and pulls Hardy down. Hardy hits him with a reverse enziguri, and that’s when Manik comes in, climbs the ladder and hits a cross-body on both Aries and Sabin.
Backstage, we see Bad Influence assaulting AJ. AJ fights them off, grabs a fire extinguisher and temporarily blinds them long enough to escape the area.
We see a video for Ethan Carter III doing a photo shoot. At BFG, he’s doing his aunt real proud. Uh…
MATCH 4: Magnus vs. World Champion Bully Ray (w/Brooke; non-title)
The two lock-up, and eventually, Ray just breaks it. They go back into it, and Ray immediately applies a side headlock. He shoulders Magnus off the ropes, then taunts the crowd. Another lock-up, and Ray hits a bodyslam. They go into yet another lock-up, and Magnus now applies a side headlock. Magnus sends him into the ropes, and they shoulder each other before Ray hits a clothesline. He nails a chop in the corner, but misses a second one. Magnus fires off some rights, some forearms and a European uppercut before hitting a back body drop. Magnus levels Ray with a clothesline before going up top. Ray crotches him as we go to commercials.
Back from the break, Ray sends Magnus hard into the corner. He stomps Magnus’ hand, then kisses Brooke. He dares Magnus to hit him, so Magnus obliges. Ray rakes him in the eyes, then goes for an elbow drop that misses. The two trade punches, and Magnus gets the best of the exchange until Ray hits a kneelift. Magnus comes back with a misdirection clothesline and a back suplex. He hits a running boot to the chest out of the corner, then goes up top once more, hitting the flying elbow for 2. Magnus charges Ray in the corner, but Ray throws referee Earl Hebner in front of him, taking him out. Ray grabs his chain, and that’s when Sting runs down. He grabs Ray’s hand as Hebner is coming to. Hebner tells Sting to leave, and that’s when Ray hits Magnus with a low blow and gets the 3.
WINNER: Bully Ray. After the match, Magnus and Sting exchange a few words, and Sting points out the chain in the ring, saying Ray tried to use that and he was only trying to help. He offers a handshake. Magnus more or less slaps him some skin and walks away.
We see Magnus walking around in the back when he’s stopped by Sting. Magnus says he has nothing to say. He got hit in the balls and got pinned, and the ref didn’t see it because he was looking at Sting. He didn’t ask for Sting’s help, and once again, he winds up on the losing end. He’s sick of this. He’s just trying to prove to everyone he can do this himself. Samoa Joe steps between them to calm them down, and Magnus walks off as Sting tells him he’ll be by himself in San Diego.
Kurt Angle makes his way down to the ring and says it’s great to be back, but let’s get down to business. Bobby Roode, you’re one of the most talented wrestlers he’s ever seen. He reminds Angle of himself five years ago. But when you try to reign on Angle’s parade, one of the most important days of his life and career, you just made it personal. Roode, it’s one thing to think you’re that good; but when you mess with a man’s legacy, in particular, Angle’s legacy, you just dug your own grave. So Roode, you might be one of the best today, but you will never be Kurt Angle.
Bobby Roode makes his way down to the ring. He says Angle is right in that Roode will never be him. He’s not Angle, but he’s okay with that. He doesn’t want to be Angle. Two years ago, maybe. Five years ago, yeah. Ten years ago, absolutely. Angle was the be-all and end-all of professional wrestling, but Angle is now looking at the man who fills that role today. Angle is the one that ruined the night last week, and regardless of which Hall of Fame it was, Angle knows Roode is more worthy of an induction than he is. What has Angle done lately? Angle has done a whole lot of nothing over the last two years. The last thing that comes to Roode’s mind is Angle beating him two years ago at BFG in a World title match. Angle did him a favor and woke him up. Soon after, the It Factor of pro wrestling was born, and Roode went onto become not only the World Champion, but the longest-reigning World Champion in company history, longer than Angle. At BFG this Sunday, he’s not going to be Kurt Angle; he’s going to be Bobby Roode, and Roode is going to beat Angle. Angle asks how Roode will beat him when he’ll be the one tapping. Roode tells him he’s wrong, because he’s not going to tap. He then decks Angle and hits a few more rights to the head. He grabs Angle by the head, but Angle trips him and applies the ankle lock. Bad Influence hit the ring and double-team Angle before throwing him shoulder-first into the ring post. Roode is back up and tells BI to back off, that he’s got this. He applies the Bowflex. Angle is tapping, and Roode eventually breaks the hold and tells Angle that, as he was saying, he’s not going to tap because he’s going to make Angle tap out.
Up next, our main event contract signing…
End of show.
Dustin Nichols is a freelance writer, and you can keep track of all of his work on his Facebook page, which can be found at www.facebook.com/DustinNicholsWriter. Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out his mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:
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