This week TNA Impact Wrestling is from Tulsa, OK. Jeff Hardy will face Austin Aries later tonight, but for now, we are “treated” to Dixie Carter making her way down to the ring. She calls Hulk Hogan a self-absorbed, egotistical fringe player who believed his own hype, and that’s why he’s not here anymore, and will never be in TNA ever again. But, she’s the one who provided the opportunity for this nameless person to come into the company. She didn’t need him or anybody to come in here and tell her how to run her own wrestling company. She doesn’t need Vince, Eric Bischoff, Mr. Stephanie Levesque or those “good ol’ Jarretts. She doesn’t need anybody, as she’s the best person this industry is ever seen. As for AJ Styles, she really doesn’t need him. After AJ was ordered to leave, he snuck back in and inserted himself into a match he had nothing to do with. AJ, what are you thinking? You are not needed here. She’s called her security people, and they’re welcoming AJ in. TNA’s hard-working World Champion deserves a break, and she’s giving him carte blanche, which means a blank check in “trailer talk”.
As this inane diatribe continues on, Sting comes down to interrupt. For the first time in over a decade, I am happy to see Sting. Sting asks her what is going on, and she says she’s glad he’s here. She knows how much he cares for her, and she appreciates it. We all hear what AJ is saying, that BFG will be Dixie’s wake-up call. She’s wide awake, and the guys in the back need to wake up and realize they are under review. Sting is included on that list since he was partly responsible for Hulk being the GM. This past week, Sting made a match for himself with Magnus at BFG. Where did he get off doing that? Does Sting want to be like AJ, without a contract and his future here to be over? She doesn’t want that, but she’ll do it. Last week, Sting walked TNA to the edge of the cliff, and now she has to take it the rest of the way. She then makes a match with him and Magnus vs. Bad Influence. Sting tells her to knock it off and wants to know what’s going on. Dixie ignores him and says that the ball needs to keep rolling to BFG. These fans want to see him take it to another level, so if Sting’s team loses tonight, neither he nor Magnus will be featured on the PPV. If that happens, Sting’s future is in the palm of her “little bitty hand”, so just remember that. She then wishes Sting good luck and leaves.
Dixie Carter: Worst heel in the history of professional wrestling. I realize that is a bold claim, but I completely stand by it.
AI stops Austin Aries in the back, asking about Ultimate X. He says Jeff Hardy is once again trying to steal his spot, and he’s the face of the X-Division. He doesn’t like Ultimate X; that’s all Hardy. Hardy needs a spectacle. Aries is a wrestler. Tonight, they face each other, and Hardy will find out why he’s the common denominator of greatness, why he’s undefeated in Ultimate X, and why he will win the X title and cash it in to become a 2-time World Champion.
We see AJ Styles enter the building and go into a locker room. He says it’s nice to be in the building without having to worry about security. AI asks him about Bully Ray’s revenge. AJ isn’t concerned. He doesn’t back down from a fight and everyone knows it. He’s also going to make Dixie Carter pay. She’s all about power and leverage, but after BFG when he wins the title, he’ll have them both.
MATCH 1: Austin Aries vs. Jeff Hardy
A lock-up starts the match, and Hardy goes into an arm wringer, followed by a snapmare and a legdrop to the arm. Taz just used the word “slobberknocker”. He deserves to be castrated with a fishing knife. Another lock-up, and Aries applies a side headlock before tripping Hardy, spinning around near his head and barely landing an elbow. Aries taunts Hardy from the corner, then goes for another lock-up. Hardy backs him into the corner for some shoulder thrusts. Hardy sends him across the ring, and Aries blocks with an elbow. Hardy counters a double axe handle from the second rope with an inverted atomic drop. Hardy goes for the double legdrop, but Aries kicks him off and hits a pair of deep armdrags, right into an armbar. Hardy counters with a headscissors, and Aries escapes before hitting a low dropkick for 2. Aries drives a knee into the back before hitting a jumping back elbow for 2. He picks Hardy up and drops an elbow across the back of the neck before setting Hardy in the corner. He drops another elbow, but Hardy comes back with some kicks. Aries sends him into the corner, hits a clothesline and a bulldog for 2. Aries hits a jumping elbow drop off the ropes, then applies a rear chinlock. Hardy counters with a sit-out jawbreaker. He reverses a corner whip and hits Aries with a headscissors that sends him to the floor. Hardy dropkicks him through the ropes and follows up with a running clothesline from the apron. Commercials.
WINNER: Austin Aries. After the match, Samoa Joe makes his way onto the stage, and Aries is confused. He congratulates Aries on his big win against an impressive opponent. That’s not why he’s out here, though. He’s impressed for another reason. Last week, Aries put himself into an X-Division Championship Match. Not to be outdone, Hardy then made the match Ultimate X. Now, there will be a fifth man in the Ultimate X Match, and that man is Samoa Joe. Aries, Hardy, Sabin, Manik…you’ve been put on noticed. At BFG, Joe is gonna kill you.
So…I guess TNA forgot that whole part where X-Division wrestlers have to weigh 225 lbs. or less?
We see the Bro-Mans warming up in the back, talking about horses. Robbie E asks Jesse about his loss to ODB. Jesse says ODB isn’t technically a woman, then reminds E he lost to both Eric Young and Joseph Park in five seconds each. E mentions him losing to ODB again, and Jesse says that Dixie Carter wants people to step up, which is what he’s going to do right now as he takes care of their biggest problem.
We see some footage from earlier today of EY and Park in a car. Apparently, they’re taking a road trip to San Diego for BFG. They start to drive away, but then EY remembers ODB has a match tonight, and he needs to be here.
The Bro-Mans are in the ring, and Jesse has a microphone. He challenges ODB to come out here right now, and they will have their chance to embarrass ODB. That just happened (his words).
MATCH 2: Jesse (w/Robbie E) vs. Knockouts Champion ODB (w/Eric Young; non-title)
Jesse gets in ODB’s face, and she isn’t impressed. ODB chops him in the chest a couple of times, followed by one to the face. She forces him to motorboat her, then does the same to E on the apron, then again to EY. Jesse misses a charge in the corner, and ODB rolls him up for 2. She hits a drop toehold and goes to the ropes, but E trips her. EY attacks E, and they begin brawling on the ramp and to the back. Back in the ring, ODB has her flask in-hand when Lei’D Tapa’s music hits. TNA is trying WAY too hard to make her into their next Awesome Kong. She enters the ring and runs through ODB with a shoulderblock.
WINNER VIA DISQUALIFICATION: ODB. Tapa throws her into the corner, then lands a big boot to the face. Tapa picks ODB and hits a fireman’s carry into a stunner, which is damn near the same thing as ODB’s finisher. She drags ODB to the middle of the ring and raises the KO title over her head.
AI stops Bully Ray in the back, asking about the “revenge match” tonight. Ray doesn’t explain anything about it, but says he’s going to go take care of it right now.
Cut over to Ray in a room with Garett Bischoff. Garett tells him to take a good look at the club. They’re down to three members. Before Ray can respond, Knux backs Garett up and blames this all on Ray. Ray says this is all Ken Anderson’s fault, not his. Ken put Devon’s career on the line. Ken put his ego on the line and challenged Ray for the World title. Knux and Garett wouldn’t have done that. It’s Ken’s ego that brought them down. Knux agrees, but that doesn’t mean Ray didn’t have to piledrive him on the stage. Ray agrees that might have been too strong, but tonight, they need to stick together. Tonight, he has a chance at revenge, but he’s going to give Garett and Knux the spotlight. He wants them to take out AJ Styles, make sure he doesn’t get to BFG, and he wants them to be the reason the World title stays in the club. They agree and say they’re with him.
We see Sting and Magnus in their office. Sting mentions last week, and Magnus agrees it was the right thing to do. His match with Sting is the biggest of his career and he’s taking it very seriously. Sting says BFG is where careers are made, and it’s always been good to him. He won the World title three separate times at BFG events, and even though he can’t wrestle for the title again, he still wants to prove to the world that it’s still showtime. Magnus agrees, but says that they need to put that on ice right now, because they need to deal with their match tonight first.
AI knocks on a locker room door, and the members of Bad Influence pop out. AI asks them about the Hall of Fame ceremony tonight, and Christopher Daniels rambles on about how hard they party before Kazarian tells AI to amscray.
Bad Influence make their way out, dressed in tuxes similar to those Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels wore in Dumb and Dumber. As they enter the ring, we see a giant throne, a podium and a cloth-covered easel set up. Daniels says the stars have aligned as tonight is not only the inaugural induction into the EGO Hall of Fame, but once again, it’s “Throwback Thursday”. Tonight, they’ve decided to dress like the fans of the Main Event Mafia, the dumb and the dumber. Kaz says there are many fraudulent Halls of Fame out there. The MLB hall has yet to induct Jose Canseco, the Rock ‘n’ Roll hall has yet to induct Judas Priest, and the Impact hall has yet to induct Bad Influence. So, in the spirit of giving credit where credit is due, he’d like to introduce the inaugural inductee into the EGO Hall of Fame, the “It Factor” of professional wrestling, Bobby Roode.
Roode makes his way out and sits on the throne. Kaz says he could have written a novel about all of Roode’s accomplishments in wrestling, but instead made a tribute video, which we then see. The video features his face superimposed on a bunch of pictures, followed by his name being dubbed in over previously recorded interviews with TNA talent. Back to the ring, Daniels calls the video inspirational, then calls Roode a genuine Hall of Famer, unlike Sting, who along with Magnus, will receiving the beating of a lifetime tonight. Roode, on the other hand, is the longest reigning World Champion in TNA history, and the “It Factor” of professional wrestling. Daniels asks the fans to stand for Roode as he officially inducts him. We see that the easel has a portrait of Roode on it as he hugs both members of BI. Roode walks up to the podium and thanks the crowd before calling this an amazing evening and moment. He thanks two amazing individuals, two amazing gentlemen: Frankie Kazarian and Christopher Daniels. Roode pretends to get emotional, then says he promised himself he wouldn’t cry. For as loud as these boos are, the crowd behind Roode looks dead. Anyway, Roode says that, without these two fine gentlemen, none of this would have never taken place. There’s one more individual that needs to be recognized. An individual who, without the heart, passion, desire and the God-given talent…this night, the Hall of Fame, the reason everyone is watching…that individual is none other than himself. He is the man who is deserving of the Hall of Fame induction, not Kurt Angle. The only reason Angle is going into the hall at BFG is because of the fans. What has Angle done lately? What has he done for TNA? What Roode has done is make history as the longest-reigning World Champion in TNA history. He carried this company on his back, main evented all over the world, and what has Angle done for TNA lately? Where is he now?
Angle’s music hits. He comes out, takes his jacket and shirt off, then marches down to the ring, mic in-hand. Angle looks like he might just be juicing again. He says he’s been gone a while, calls BI Roode’s girlfriends, then hits them both with suplexes before going for the ankle lock on Roode. Roode escapes to the floor, and Angle tells him he just made the biggest mistake of his life. Angle says he is back, and challenges Roode at BFG.
Roode is in the back throwing a fit. He tells Angle that he just made the biggest mistake of his life. Angle wants to ruin his night? Angle doesn’t make the challenges; Roode does, then tells Angle he’s gonna get it at BFG.
MATCH 3-Winner becomes the new #1 contender for the Knockouts Championship: Velvet Sky (w/Chris Sabin) vs. Brooke
This is the match that was supposed to happen last week. Sky has her ribs taped, and as she tries to do her standard entrance, Sabin shield her ass from the crowd with his ring jacket, then does the same thing to her chest. Sky applies a side headlock, then hits a shoulder off the ropes. Brooke shoves her into the corner with a lock-up, then misses a clothesline. Sky stomps her down in the corner, then throws her across the ring. She does it again, missing a splash. Brooke targets the ribs with some punches, then starts to rip the bandages off. Sky counters a whip with a side-Russian legsweep. Brooke trips her into the middle rope, then applies a camel clutch through the ropes. Brooke hits a couple shots to the back, followed by a kick to the ribs before throwing Sky to the floor. Outside, Brooke rams Sky into the apron and rolls her back in the ring. She mocks Sky on the way back into the ring, so Sky kicks the middle rope. She hits a pair of jumping clotheslines and a running back elbow. Brooke counters an Irish whip, but Sky kicks her before hitting a running facebuster for 2. Sky hits a couple more kicks and a running neckbreaker off the ropes. She goes for the cover and gets 2 as Sabin jumps on the apron to give her a pep talk. Brooke rolls her up from behind and gets 3 with a handful of tights.
WINNER AND NEW #1 CONTENDER: Brooke, who moves onto BFG in a 3-way match with ODB and Gail Kim.
We see video of Ethan entering a building earlier today. He insults a couple of women, then the interior decorating. This leads to a heavily green-screened video, and we find out his official gimmick name is now Ethan Carter III, or “EC3”.
MATCH 4: Bad Influence (Christopher Daniels and Kazarian) vs. Magnus and Sting
Magnus and Daniels start, with Daniels firing off some forearm shots. Magnus comes back with rights until Daniels applies a side headlock. They go into a crisscross that ends with an elevated northern lights bomb by Magnus. Sting tags in, and the faces hit a double back elbow. Sting hits a kick, but Daniels comes back with a kneelift and a palm thrust. Kaz tags in and runs into a hip toss. Magnus back in, and he accidentally collides with Sting off an Irish whip. Kaz attacks Magnus from behind, and now Sting and Daniels are fighting on the floor. Commercials.
Back from the break, Kaz tags in and hits a shot to the gut. Daniels follows up with one to the back, and now Kaz is choking Magnus with his knee. Kaz hits a jumping side kick for 2, then applies a front chancery. Magnus fights out, but gets clubbed across the back of the head. Daniels tags in, and Kaz whips Magnus into a back elbow. Daniels comes off the middle rope with a stomp to the chest. Daniels gets a 2-count, then applies a rear chinlock. Magnus elbows out, but receives a shoulder thrust to the gut. Daniels hits a snapmare and tags in Kaz, who hits a slingshot legdrop for 2. Kaz mocks Sting, then makes a fake tag to Daniels as Sting tries to come in. Daniels throws Magnus to the corner, then tosses him to the floor. Kaz rams Magnus into the apron before rolling him back in, and Daniels gets 2 with his feet on the ropes. He applies a rear chinlock/half-nelson combo. Magnus fights out, and now the two are trading rights. Magnus gets the best of it until Daniels hits him with a jawbreaker. Magnus comes back with a misdirection clothesline, and now both men are down. Sting and Kaz eventually tag in, and Sting hits a dropkick, followed by a clothesline and a jumping facebuster for 2. Daniels tries to break up the pin with an elbow, but lands on Kaz instead. Magnus tags in and hits a flying elbow drop before going for the Kingsley Clover Leaf. Daniels breaks the hold with a shot to the back, and Sting tags himself in. He hits Kaz with a Stinger Splash and a Scorpion Death Drop for 3.
WINNERS: Magnus and Sting. Magnus is a little irritate that Sting tagged himself in, and the two begin arguing a bit.
We see AJ Styles in the back, and he’s approached by Dixie Carter. She’s glad he made his way into the building with no problem, then tells him he doesn’t need to do tonight’s match or the one at BFG. She hands him a check and tells him he’s never had this much money in his life. He could buy a bunch of trailers in Gainesville, GA, or start up a fund for all of the redneck kids that can’t read. AJ looks at the check and says that it is a lot and can buy a lot, but it can’t buy him. He rips the check up in front of her and walks away. Dixie says she didn’t sign the check anyway.
Before the match, Ray orders Mike Tenay to leave the announce desk, as he’s going to do commentary with Taz for this one. AJ attacks both of them before the bell, knocking Knux to the floor and throwing Garett into the corner. Garett comes back with some punches, then sends AJ into the corner. AJ reverses and follows up with a jumping corner clothesline. He hits a snapmare and a jumping kneedrop, then throws Garett into the corner. He drops an elbow across the back of Garett’s neck, then stomps him down. Garett comes back with a double chop to the throat and ducks a back elbow before getting hit with a clothesline. Knux tags himself in behind AJ’s back and hotshots AJ out of a fireman’s carry. He catapults AJ into the middle rope for 2, then knocks him down with a right. Garett tags in and chokes AJ on the middle rope. AJ fights back from his knees before getting hit with a kneelift. Garett hits a butterfly suplex after being unable to figure out how to hit a standard one for 2. Knux tags in, mounts the middle rope and misses a legdrop. Garett is back in, and AJ ducks a clothesline before hitting Knux with a right. He turns around and drops Garett with another. He follows up with a clothesline and a roundhouse and another right. Garett ends up in the corner, and AJ charges in. He’s backdropped to the outside, but lands on the apron and hits Garett with another right. He goes for Superman, but Garett ducks and AJ instead nails Knux. Garett holds AJ up for a shot by Knux, but AJ ducks and Garett gets nailed. AJ hits the Pele on Knux and rolls Garett up for 3.
WINNER: AJ Styles. Knux attacks AJ after the match, as does Garett. Bully Ray enters the ring and pulls Garett off AJ before telling both him and Knux to back off. Ray unravels his chain and whips AJ with it as he tells Knux and Garett to stay where they are and watch. He throws his hat at Garett as the assault continues, and Knux is just staring at Ray. Ray throws the chain down and holds up the Aces and Eights sign as Knux shakes his head in the background. AJ gets back up, but gets backdropped to the ramp on the outside. Ray mounts him (yep) and begins screaming in his face in a scene that borders on homoerotic.
End of show.
Dustin Nichols is a freelance writer, and you can keep track of all of his work on his Facebook page, which can be found at www.facebook.com/DustinNicholsWriter. Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out his mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:
[amazon_link id=”B00DBPBOYM” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Legends Of The Mid-South Wrestling[/amazon_link]
[amazon_link id=”B00EHMYJWM” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]WWE: Hell In a Cell 2013 DVD[/amazon_link]