This week’s TNA Impact opens up with Dixie Ray arm-in-arm with Pacman Jones telling him how happy she is to have him “back home”. Mr. Anderson approaches them, and he says all he wants is Bully Ray to agree to a match with him and he swears that’s all. Dixie says she’ll make it happen, but Anderson has to do her a favor, and he needs to bring it to Ray. Anderson agrees, shakes Jones’ hand after they are introduced, then walks away.
Tonight, Chris Sabin takes on Jeff Hardy in Full Metal Mayhem in the first round of the World title tournament. The show is taking place from Cincinnati, OH. Pacman Jones is sitting at ringside with some guy named DeQuin Evans. Apparently, he plays football or some such nonsense.
Before Angle can finish, Bobby Roode comes out and says this is pathetic. He is embarrassed for Angle, making excuse after excuse. Angle, be a man and admit that you lost…twice…back-to-back to the “It Factor”. Be a man and admit you lost and move on, just like Roode is. The World title tournament is upon them, and Roode is in it as well. He’s here to tell Angle that if he gets to the finals, Roode will have no problem kicking his ass for a third time. Angle says he first has Austin Aries next week. Eventually, he does expect to meet Roode in the finals. When that happens, Roode’s ass is his. But maybe he doesn’t want to wait until then. Angle slugs Roode, and now they are brawling. Referees hit the ring, along with security, and they pull the two apart. They break free and charge each other again, with Angle hitting a spear. Commercials.
Back from the break, Angle is in a chair in the middle of the ring. He tells Roode he’s in the ring, and he’ll wait all night. If Roode doesn’t face him like a man right now, he’s nothing but a coward. Roode marches back down to the ring, and they brawl on the ramp. Angle takes Roode down on the floor, and the brawling continues until refs and security once again pull it apart. The two break free and continue the brawl for another moment until the refs and security get Angle back up on the ramp. Pat Kenney and Al Snow hold Roode back in the ring. Angle breaks free and charges the ring, tackling Roode. The brawl is once more gets broken up, and now Bad Influence are in the ring, holding Roode back. Joe and Magnus are holding Angle back on the other side. The brawl breaks out yet again, but gets stopped before it can really get started this time. Eventually, Angle calms down enough to leave the ring as Roode continue to talk trash.
We see Bad Influence talking trash to Pacman Jones and DeQuin Evans at ringside. Christopher Daniels shoves Evans, and the football morons jump the guardrail and get BI in the ring, hitting them with bodyslams. BI head to the floor and back up the ramp. Jones has his own entrance theme, because he’s apparently a rapper as well as a football player and a criminal.
We see Garett Bischoff and Knux enter the building, and they immediately tell AI that club business is none of his business. Mr. Anderson stops them and says he wants a match with Bully Ray, and this has nothing to do with club business. They had to do what they had to do, and he respects that. Stripping the colors off him was the best thing they ever did for him, and he then tells them to get out while they still can.
MATCH 1-3-Way Match to determine a new #1 contender for the Knockouts Championship: Velvet Sky vs. Brooke vs. ODB
Roughly a half-hour into this show, we get our first match. Brooke starts the match by shaking her ass. Sky then humps the middle rope. Brooke does some stupid pose, then ODB chest-bumps her into the corner. Sky gets whipped into Brooke, and they both collapse in the corner. ODB hits a double bronco buster, then pins Sky for 1. She goes for a fall-away slam on Sky, but Brooke rolls her up for 2. Brooke throws Sky into ODB, knocking ODB to the floor. She hits some forearms on Sky, and Sky comes back with a pair of clotheslines and a back elbow. Sky hits a couple of kicks and a running neckbreaker for 2 as ODB breaks up the pin. ODB goes for a running powerslam on Sky, which connects. Brooke hits ODB with a neckbreaker, then goes up top, hitting a flying elbow drop, hurting her own arm in the process. Gail Kim and Lei’D Tapa walk out to ringside as we go to commercials.
Back from the break, the three are trading various shots. Sky gets knocked into the corner by Brooke, and Brooke gets knocked down by an ODB forearm. ODB applies a single-leg Boston crab on Brooke, and Sky does the same thing. The faces break the hold, then begin hitting each other with chops. Sky hits a series of chops, then runs into a shoulderblock. ODB bodyslams Brooke onto Sky, then rolls to the outside when she spots Kim and Tapa. The referee orders ODB back in the ring and tells Tapa to stay right where she is. Brooke dropkicks ODB from behind, knocking her to the floor. Sky comes out and drops Brooke with a clothesline. She rolls both women back into the ring, then climbs in, pinning Brooke for 2. She rolls ODB over for a 2-count before getting a short-arm clothesline from Brooke. Brooke climbs to the top rope and hits a double cross-body after staring Gail Kim down for a moment. Kim gets on the apron, distracting Sky. Brooke clubs her from behind, but Sky comes back with a kick. She goes for In Yo Face, but Kim runs into the ring and attacks Sky from behind.
WINNER: No contest. Yes, there was a DQ in a triple-threat. Brilliant. Kim hits Eat Defeat on Sky, and Tapa hits a Godsmack on Brooke. ODB stands up to Tapa, hits a few forearms, then slaps her in the chest before Tapa catches her by the throat and hits another Godsmack. Kim gets a mic and says she’s been beaten everyone and has no competition left in this division. With Tapa by her side, she is unstoppable, so, out of the kindness of her heart, Kim is issuing an open challenge to any female wrestler outside this company to see if they have what it takes. If they can beat her, she’ll give them a title match, because she doesn’t think anyone can beat the first-ever, longest-reigning, greatest Knockout Champion of all time.
We get a video for AJ Styles, brought to us by “the friends of AJ”. We see him win the World title at BFG, then tell us he’s headed to AAA in Mexico to defend it.
We see Garett Bischoff and Knux in the back talking about someone maybe being right. Bully Ray walks up and wants to know who is right. He reminds them he sees and hears everything going on with this club. He knows about their run-in with Mr. Anderson, then reminds them he brought the club together for them; not for him, for them. Garett says, with all do respect, it hasn’t been “them” in a long time. When was the last time they came together and had a vote? Ray says they always vote, but Knux says it’s always been Ray’s decisions, and their votes don’t ever seem to count. Ray says they’re his decisions, because he’s the president. Garett tries to calm them down, but Knux has had enough. They’re going to have a vote right now, along with Taz, and he doesn’t care what Ray has to say about it. Ray grabs Garett by the vest and tells him to make sure he votes the right way.
We see Dixie Carter in her office, on her phone. She’s asking the person on the other end how the AJ video happened. AJ is trying to humiliate her, and she tells whoever is on the other to fix things now or she will. Ethan Carter III knocks on the door and enters the office as she throws her phone down. They hug, and she tells him she’s so proud of him these past few weeks, but they need to change their game plan. He’s done a great job as she expected because he’s a Carter, but this week, she wants Ethan to pick his opponent. He thought it would be easy, but it hasn’t. She has picked two world-class competitors for him to choose from, and he’s worried his streak could end. She tells him to not think like that, because they’re Carters, and the world needs them.
Garett Bischoff and Knux are in the ring. Garett says they are here for one reason and one reason only: they are here to decide the future of the club with a vote. He asks Taz to join them in the ring, and Taz, looking fatter than ever, obliges. He shakes both of their hands, and Garett then invites Bully Ray to join them as well. Ray heads out, sans Brooke on his arm. Ray takes the mic from Garett and asks the crowd if they know who he is. Garett takes the mic back and says everyone knows who he is-the poison that has torn the club apart. Since day one, it’s been all about him and his ego. It’s never been about the rest, and whether Ray likes it or not, the vote is happening right now.
Mr. Anderson’s music hits, and he comes out, mic in hand. He stops at ringside as Ray begins trash-talking him. Anderson tells Ray to not mind him, as he’s just out here to watch this thing implode. Back to Garett, he says this is happening right now. His vote? He’s finished. Garett then takes his vest off and hangs it on one of the corner posts. Ray looks at Knux and says he can always count on him. Knux has been his rock from day one. Let’s send this punk home. Do the right thing. Knux says he doesn’t need Ray, the club, or these colors. He takes his vest off, hangs it on a corner post and high-fives Garett. Ray says that’s fine, and they’re going to have a tie. These two want out, but the vote will tie, and a tie goes with the president. He votes that they keep A and E where it is. Since Taz is his best friend in the world, we know how he’ll vote. Unlike these two, Taz knows how to do what his president tells him to do. Taz takes the mic and tells Ray to “pump the brakes a little bit”. During their careers, they always did the wrong. Ray knows this has gone wrong. The club has only been rolling with Ray’s agenda. These two guys are right. Anderson is right. Taz says he’s done, then hands his vest over to Ray. Ray begins screaming at him, then orders him to put his vest back on. Taz tells Ray to make him, so Ray turns his hat backwards. Knux and Garett exit the ring, and Ray tells him he needs to fall in line before he falls on his face, then tells him to put his colors back on. Taz once again tells Ray to make him, then threatens to destroy Ray if he tries. Ray blames it all on Anderson, and Anderson there are no more lemmings to do Ray’s bidding. Boss-approved already, on November 21st, live from Orlando, FL, TNA presents Turning Point. Anderson doesn’t want to wrestle Ray that night; he wants to fight him. Anderson then tells him it will be a No-DQ Match. Ray says he’s hated Anderson since day one. He calls him an ungrateful sonofabitch, and says Anderson is nothing without him. There’s one thing Ray has never understood about Anderson: for a guy like Anderson that respects Stone Cold Steve Austin so much, Ray can’t believe he forgot the very first rule. Knux and Garett return to ringside and assault Anderson, and Knux throws him into the ring steps. In the ring, Taz puts his vest back on as Knux climbs into the ring. Garett picks Anderson up by his coat and rolls him into the ring. Ray takes the chain off his neck, and Knux hits a big boot on Anderson. Ray grabs the mic once more and tells Anderson don’t trust anybody as he whips him with his chain. Ray holds Anderson’s head up and says when you ride with the Aces and Eights, you never walk alone. Shouldn’t that be “never ride alone”?
Well, we’re getting close to the 90-minute mark of the show, and we’ve had a grand total of one match, and it ended in a no-contest. This is a fantastic piece of television right here.
We see Chris Sabin warming up for his main event against Jeff Hardy later tonight.
As Taz and Mike Tenay are going over the rest of the show, Bobby Roode shows up at the table, grabs a microphone and tells Kurt Angle this isn’t over. Tonight, he’s going to kick Angle’s ass. He orders Tenay and Taz to get Angle out here and begins screaming until the lights go out for EC3’s entrance, as he’s wrestling in the next match.
MATCH 2: Ethan Carter III vs. Dewey Barnes
This is a rematch from a couple of weeks ago. A lock-up starts the match, and Carter knees Barnes in the gut before assaulting him in the corner. Barnes gets sent into the corner and hit with a clothesline before receiving a back suplex into a facebuster. Carter hits a running boot to the ribs, then another. He misses a third, and Barnes fires off some rights, ducks a clothesline and hits a Dropsh*t. He gets thrown off a mount in the corner, but comes back with a swinging neckbreaker. Up top, he misses a dropkick. Carter points at him and hits the headlock driver for 3.
WINNER: Ethan Carter III. After the match, he pretends to kick dirt in Barnes’ face, takes a mic and does his usual promo.
We see Joseph Park eating Halloween candy in the back when he’s approached by Bad Influence. Kazarian says Park obviously wasn’t here last week, and Christopher Daniels points out he was gone, but Abyss showed up. Park doesn’t know what they’re talking about and doesn’t appreciate the nasty voicemails they left him. Daniels says his brother isn’t around, so he won’t do anything about it, then dumps Park’s candy on him. Eric Young interjects and says they’ve already beaten BI and will do it again, so let’s do it tonight.
MATCH 3: Bad Influence (Christopher Daniels and Kazarian) vs. Joseph Park and Eric Young
Daniels and EY start the match, and Kaz attacks EY from behind. BI then double-team him with strikes. EY ducks a double clothesline, then throws Daniels into Kaz before hitting a dropkick. Kaz receives a clothesline, and now he’s all of a sudden legal. Park tags in, and the faces hit a double back elbow. Park hits a bodyslam, then applies an arm wringer before tagging in EY. EY comes off the top with a double axe handle to the arm, then tries to send Kaz into the corner. Kaz reverses, but then EY ends up sending him to the floor. He follows up with a suicide dive, then rolls Kaz back in the ring before hitting a top rope cross-body for 2. Kaz reverses a corner whip, and EY does the Flair Flip, lands on the apron, struts, then shoulders Kaz through the ropes. Daniels trips EY, and he lands face-first on the floor. Daniels throws EY back in, and Kaz makes the tag. BI apply a double arm wringer, then hit a double kick, followed by a clothesline to the back by Daniels. Kaz follows up with a running senton to the back, and Daniels covers EY for 2. He throws EY to the corner, then knocks him down with a right before knee-choking him. Daniels picks EY up and goes for a back suplex, but EY flips out and hits one of his own. EY goes for the tag, but Kaz distracts the referee, so he doesn’t see it. BI then double-team EY behind the ref’s back as he tries to get Park to leave the ring. EY gets sent into the ropes, but he counters, and Kaz winds up clotheslining Daniels. EY clotheslines Kaz, then tags in Park. He hits both members of BI with back elbows before bodyslamming Daniels. Kaz receives a bodyslam as well, and Daniels then gets hit with an avalanche in the corner. Kaz avoids the next one, sliding out to the apron. He mounts the top rope and goes for a seated dropkick, but Park moves and applies a Boston crab. Daniels breaks it up with a rear clothesline, and EY clubs Daniels, knocking him to the floor. Daniels sends EY knees-first into the ring steps, then grabs the ring bell hammer. After the ref takes it away from him, he grabs his appletini. Kaz hits Park with a back elbow in the ring before running into a fireman’s carry. Daniels throws the drink in Park’s face, and Kaz schoolboys him for 3.
WINNERS: Bad Influence.
Kurt Angle makes his way out, mic in hand. He tells Bobby Roode he’s not a hard man to find. He’ll be out here waiting for Roode. If Roode wants a piece of him, come get it. Roode, get your ass out here right now.
Instead of Roode, we see Austin Aries make his way out. He says that, with all due respect, he’s been sitting in the back, watching what’s going on, and he understands Angle’s focus is on Roode. However, next week, Angle is stepping in the ring with Aries, not Roode. He has nothing but respect for Angle and knows why they call Angle a cyborg. Aries has also been called a wrestling machine. If Angle doesn’t bring 100% focus to their match next week, he has zero chance of beating the greatest man that ever lived. Dixie Carter interrupts things on the big screen, and says they need to determine the stipulation for the match. She spins the “Wheel of Dixie”, and it lands on Submission Match. Aries wishes Angle the best of luck, and that’s when Roode runs out, nails Aries from behind and charges straight at Angle. He rams Angle into the ring steps, then continues the assault until Aries attacks Roode from behind. Angle pulls Aries off Roode, then begins attacking Roode. Aries attacks Angle, and now officials and security are trying to split up all three men. Roode screams that he’s not finished with Angle.
Hardy has yet another awful entrance theme that he sings himself. Sabin offers a handshake at the opening bell, but then tries a kick. Hardy catches it, spins Sabin around and boots him in the stomach. He throws Sabin to the corner, where Sabin yanks him into the middle buckle. Sabin stomps Hardy down, then foot-chokes him on the mat. Sabin sends Hardy across the ring, and Hardy counters with a headscissors out of the corner. Sabin rolls to the floor, and Hardy dropkicks him through the ropes. Hardy connects with a running clothesline off the apron. Hardy throws a couple of trashcans full of weapons into the ring, then folds up a ladder and slides it in as well. Sabin gets in, and they tug-of-war the ladder until Sabin rams Hardy gut-first with it, right into the buckles. He sets the ladder across the bottom rope, then connects with a suspended corkscrew neckbreaker across the ladder for 2. Sabin grabs the ladder, leans it in the corner and goes for a suplex. Hardy blocks it and goes for his own. Sabin escapes and charges in, only to get back body dropped onto the ladder. Hardy grabs a trashcan and slams it across Sabin’s head for 2. Hardy grabs a crutch and smacks Sabin with it, then goes outside for a table. He breaks one of the legs, so he goes for a different table instead. He slides the table into the ring and leans it in the corner, going for a reverse powerbomb. Sabin counters into a hurricanrana. Hardy goes for the Botch in the Wind, but Sabin crotches him and cracks him across the back with a chair. Hardy falls into the tree of woe, and Sabin fishhooks him in the ears. He sets a chair against Hardy’s face and baseball slides it into Hardy. Hardy manages to grab the chair and crack Sabin across the back, then throws it into his face. He sets it up for Poetry in Motion, which connects. Hardy then clotheslines him to the floor. Hardy goes for another table on the floor before slamming Sabin face-first into the ring steps. Sabin is laid out on the table, and Hardy mounts the top rope. He goes for a splash, but Sabin moves out of the way, sending Hardy straight through the table. Sabin throws Hardy back into the ring and goes for the table from earlier, setting it up in the middle. He rolls Hardy onto the table, then mounts the top rope. He goes for a splash, but Hardy gets his knees up, with the table breaking underneath him. Hardy gets to his feet and quickly hits a Twist of Fate, then sets up a ladder in the corner. He climbs to the top rope and hits a slingshot swanton bomb for 3.
WINNER: Jeff Hardy.
End of show.
Dustin Nichols is a freelance writer, and you can keep track of all of his work on his Facebook page, which can be found at www.facebook.com/DustinNicholsWriter. Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out his mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:
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