Team Roode (with Zema Ion, minus Austin Aries) make their way out, and the Bromans apparently regained the World Tag Team titles at an event in Japan. Bobby Roode says that, in 3 days, you’re looking at the man who will own 10% of TNA. In 3 days at Lockdown, this company will change. It will be run the Roode way. The only thing standing in his way is MVP.
MVP, flanked by the Wolves, make their way out now. MVP says Aries is right. He made a bad decision trusting Aries to call that match down the middle. But, he gives chances because he’s been given them. Fool him once, shame on you. Now, with TNA on the line, he had to do some digging to find a partner, and he’s made his decision. The man who will join him at….
Dixie Carter now comes out. I hate this woman. I hate everything about her. Everything. She steps up to MVP and says his decision won’t matter anyway. She doesn’t care who his fourth man is, because she spent all last week in New York, securing the victory for Team Roode. MVP doesn’t know her very well, and she hopes that part never changes. But, if you were to ask someone who knows and loves her, they’d tell you TNA means more to her than anything, and she’ll stop at nothing to keep complete control of it. MVP understands that, but doesn’t she at least want to know who his fourth man is? Dixie says unless he can part the Red Sea, she doesn’t care. MVP says the man is a former World Champion and a good friend of is. That man is Jeff Hardy. Dixie says Hardy is under a TNA contract, and when he walked out, she suspended that contract. MVP disagrees because, when they win at Lockdown, Hardy’s contract will be unfrozen. Dixie says over her dead body. MVP makes a funeral joke. Roode calls him a sonofabitch and says it doesn’t matter who his partner is, because he’s looking at the guy who will be 10% owner of the company. MVP slugs him, and a brawl between the two teams breaks out.
MATCH 1-6-Man Tag Team Elimination Match; the winners get the man advantage in Lethal Lockdown: World X-Division Champion Austin Aries, World Tag Team Co-Champion Robbie E and Bobby Roode (w/Jesse & Zema Ion) vs. MVP and the Wolves (Eddie Edwards and Davey Richards)
E and Edwards have officially started the match after some commercials. E is hitting some shoulder thrusts in the corner and snaps the arm. Roode tags in and boots Edwards in the corner before hitting a suplex for 1. Aries tags in and hits an elbow off the top for 2 before applying a front chancery. E tags in and nails Edwards across the back, then sends him into the ropes for a back elbow for 2. Edwards comes back with a chop, but then gets caught in a back suplex. He flips out and tags in MVP, who nails some rights before hitting a pancake. MVP nails the Drive-By Kick and gets 3.
Robbie E is eliminated.
Roode comes in and nails MVP in the back with punches and kicks. MVP comes back with a back elbow, then tags in Richards.Richards hits a couple of shots before tagging in Edwards, and the Wolves hit a drop toe-hold/seated dropkick combo for 2. Roode comes back with a kneelift and a back elbow for tagging in Aries, who knocks MVP and Richards off the apron. Edwards gets sent to the corner, and Aries tries to whip Roode into him. Edwards avoids contact, knocks down Aries and runs into a Roode boot. He comes back with a kick and goes for the backpack stunner, but Aries nails him with a running corner dropkick. Aries follows up with the brainbuster and gets 3.
Eddie Edwards is eliminated.
Richards comes in for his team and the two trade forearm shots to the face. They turn the exchange to chops and kicks until Richards hits a version of the Tidal Crush. Aries recovers and nails a rolling elbow. Roode and MVP tag in and shove each other before trading punches. MVP no-sells a clothesline, and Roode does the same. They trade more forearms until MVP knocks him down with a clothesline for 2 as Aries breaks up the pin. MVP goes after him, and Roode hits MVP with a Northern Lariat. He rolls up MVP and gets his feet on the ropes. Aries holds Roode’s feet down, and Roode gets 3.
MVP is eliminated.
Richards is the last man for his team, and he squares off with Roode. Roode hits a kneelift and a forearm to the back before booting him in the face. Roode foot-chokes him in the corner, then locks in a front chanery. Aries tags in and nails Richards with a boot before sending him into the corner for a running back elbow and a running sit-out ace crusher for 2. Roode tags in and hits a backbreaker for another 2. Roode throws Richards to the floor and distracts the referee, allowing Aries to hit a double axe handle from the top to the floor. He rolls Richards in, and Roode gets 2. Aries tags in, and they hit combination catapult/corkscrew splash for 2. Roode tags back in, and Richards sends Aries into Roode, then dropkicks Roode, causing him to DDT Aries in the process. Richards nails a running kick in the corner, then goes up top. He misses the double stomp, but rolls through. Roode turns around and picks him up for the Roode Bomb. Richards escapes and tries to roll Roode up for a pin. Roode hangs onto the ropes, Richards rolls through anyway, then applies a rolling half-crab. Aries comes in and nails Richards with several chair shots, leading to the DQ.
Austin Aries is eliminated.
Aries continues the attack with the chair, targeting Richards’ shoulder. Roode eventually gets him to leave, then continues the match. He signals for the Roode Bomb, but Edwards comes back down to check on Richards, along with a couple of referees to make sure Richards can continue. Roode drops to the floor as MVP also hits the ring. Commercials.
Back from the break, we see the Edwards and MVP helping Richards to the back during the break. So…Roode’s team wins? Who the hell knows?
A trainer is checking on Richards, and MVP walks in with Earl Hebner. Hebner is giving them one hour to finish the match, and if Richards can’t do that, they forfeit the match.
We get a recap for Samuel Shaw’s entire story. Happy, happy, joy, joy. This cuts over to Shaw, who is sitting on some steps, with what looks like a coffee in his hand. He says that, last week, when Christy Hemme slapped him int he face, she created something beautiful. She showed extraordinary passion, and he can’t wait to create something beautiful when he goes to the ring in one minute.
Shaw comes out, and his cup is apparently full of tea. He sees Hemme’s empty chair, then puts his cup down before putting on his gloves for a match. He has a new entrance theme, and it’s just as generic as the last one.
Before his opponent comes out, Mr. Anderson comes out instead. He says he regrets to inform the crowd that Hemme will be nowhere near this match because of Shaw. However, playing the part of Hemme…is Anderson. F*CK. He introduces Shaw as “Creepy Bastard”. That’s so clever of him. And his opponent is Eric Young.
MATCH 2: Samuel Shaw vs. Eric Young
Shaw points at Anderson, allowing EY to roll him up for 1. EY hits a jawbreaker, then mounts the corner for some punches. Shaw smiles while adjusting his jaw and hits EY in the throat. He boots EY in the corner, then chokes him for a 4-count. He chokes EY again in the adjacent corner, then does it again. Shaw points at Anderson once more, then turns around into a series of rights by EY. Shaw reverses a corner whip, and EY does the Flair Flip before hitting a shoulder through the ropes, ducking under Shaw, avoiding a clothesline and hitting one of his own. He nails a belly-to-belly for 2, and Shaw drops to the floor. EY goes after him, and Shaw throws the tea in his face before throwing EY into Anderson. Shaw locks in the kata gatame and the bell rings.
WINNER VIA DISQUALIFICATION: Um…Eric Young? I think? Ah, this is fun. Shaw continues choking Anderson until he apparently knocks him out. Shaw then grabs a mic and tells Anderson he’s now going back to claim what’s rightfully his.
We Hemme watching this from the back, and she immediately runs…off-camera a couple of steps away.
We see MVP with the Wolves in the back. He tells the trainer to take good care of Richards, then says he’s going to go take care of this.
MVP is in the back, looking everywhere for Austin Aries. He finds Aries with the Elite Beat Agents and begins screaming at him. MVP says he sees what time it is now as the Agents hold him back, then tells Aries he has no character before leaving. Well, that was pointless.
We see Dixie talking to AI when EC3 interrupts. He asks if she’s okay, then offers up his help. She tells him to beat up Kurt Angle on Sunday. EC3 says he knows Angle is a liar, and he will take Angle out at Lockdown. He then mentions MVP taking over, and Dixie says that won’t happen. She’s given 12 years to this company, and MVP is going to rue the day he invested one dime in this company (just like everyone else who has ever invested in TNA. Right, Dixie?).
We see Samuel Shaw in the back, looking for Christy Hemme.
The search continues as we see Shaw enter the women’s dressing room. Hemme is nowhere to be found, and when Shaw comes out of the bathroom, we see Velvet Sky cover up herself because she’s wearing a bra, and that’s so much less clothing than what she wears to the ring. Shaw asks where Hemme is, then does it again. Sky says she’s in the makeup room. Shaw thanks her and leaves.
EC3 comes down to the ring, stomping all over the place. He then says last week, Angle suckerpunched him. You don’t suckerpunch a Carter. Ever. Little known fact, he always looked up to Angle growing up. Angle is the reason he became a wrestler. But, the old saying goes never meet your heroes, because they’ll suckerpunch you in the face. In 3 days, they have a cage match, and Angle is excited because he can use it as a weapon since he fears EC3’s submission wrestling. Angle has the ankle lock, but EC3 has something more. Something bigger, He has…a leglock. That’s right, and he’s going to wrap that on there and tear up the ligaments in Angle’s knee. He can tear the whole leg down. He knows Angle has seen what he’s capable of. He’s accepted and defeated every challenge in TNA. He beat Sting and became the new icon of wrestling. This Sunday at Lockdown, he’ll beat Angle and become the new face of American wrestling. After this Sunday, he will officially be dubbed “The American Icon”.
Angle comes out, looking like he’s about to cry. Why does his face always look like that? He asks if EC3 just called himself an American icon. He’s not an American icon; he’s an American asshole. We’re 3 days away from Lockdown, 3 days away from Angle ending EC3’s short, pitiful career. Then again, Angle doesn’t want to wait 3 days. He hobbles into the ring, and EC3 immediately rolls out and heads to the back. Angle then panders to the crowd. Great segment there, let me tell you.
EC3 then comes back out as Angle is celebrating with the fans, nailing Angle in the leg. Angle hobbles off a throw attempt, and EC3 hits a chopblock. Pretty sure that spot got screwed up. EC3 rolls him into the ring and hits a dropkick to the knee, causing Angle to forget which way to fall. EC3 nails a couple of elbows to the leg and applies the spinning legbar. A couple of referees come out pull the two apart as EC3 screams he heard it pop. EC3 sits down and looks at Angle.
MVP is in the back with the Wolves again. He tells them how bad they are, and how high the stakes are tonight. He believes in Richards, and needs Richards to show his strong-style. They need this. Richards recalls a moment they had in Japan where MVP told him to stand out from the crowd. His arm’s hurt, but he’s breathing.
Seriously, does everything have to look/sound awkward tonight? Is that a requirement for this episode?
We see Chris Sabin, Gail Kim, Lei’D Tapa and the Alpha Female heading to the ring. ODB, Madison Rayne and Velvet Sky are doing the same thing from a different part of the backstage area.
We get a video for “The King of the Night”, Kenny King. Apparently, he still works here. Basically, the video is him acting like a player in Las Vegas. That’s pretty much it.
MATCH 3: The Alpha Female, Gail Kim and Lei’D Tapa (w/Chris Sabin) vs. Velvet Sky, ODB and Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne
Rayne attacks Kim from behind, making them the starters of this match. Rayne backs Kim into the corner, then hits a modified northern lights suplex. Tapa grabs Rayne by the hair, allowing Kim to nail her with a dropkick. In the corner, Kim misses a splash. ODB tags in and hits a clothesline, followed by an avalanche and a bronco buster. ODB stacks her up for 2, then nails Tapa and Female. Kim recovers and nails a clothesline. Tapa tags in and hits an over-the-shoulder backbreaker. She pulls ODB up by the hair, then sends her to the corner. Tapa hits a corner clothesline, then steps on ODB’s hair while yanking her up by the arms. ODB nails some forearms to the gut, then hits a couple chops to the chest. She ducks a clothesline and tags in Sky. Female also tags in, no-sells a couple of clotheslines, then gets hit with a boot and a running neckbreaker for 2. Kim breaks up the pin, and Rayne tackles her. Kim rolls to the floor, and Tapa sends Rayne flying as well. ODB jumps on Tapa’s back, then gets dumped to the floor. Tapa heads out as well, and Rayne fights her off. Sabin enters the ring, with a chain wrapped around his fist. He repeatedly calls Sky stupid until she slaps him. Sabin charges at her and gets low-bridged to the floor. Female is back in, and she goes for the full-nelson. Sky escapes, kicks her in the face and hits In Yo Face for 3.
WINNERS: ODB, Madison Rayne and Velvet Sky. Way to stop Female from looking dominant in a matter of weeks, TNA.
Samuel Shaw stops a guy on his phone, asking where the makeup room is. The guy points him in the direction of the room. God, this is so riveting!
We get a video for Willow. So, is he going to work as both this stupid gimmick and as himself now? Is anyone stupid enough to fall for it if that’s what happens?
Shaw finally finds the makeup room and peeks in, where he thinks he sees Hemme. He puts on his gloves and approaches her. The person stands up, and it’s Anderson in a red wig. He slugs Shaw, and they brawl as the door clothes. Anderson reopens it and leans Shaw onto the door before drawing on his face with lipstick. Shaw then gets thrown into a wall. Anderson says if Shaw doesn’t leave her alone, he’s gonna be in a bad way. As Anderson leaves, Shaw rolls onto his stomach, laughs, says he’ll see them both Sunday and smells the wig.
Gunner comes down to the ring. He says the past few weeks have seen a lot of change in his life. He lives by a simple code. He takes each day as it comes and does the best he can. He’s worked for everything he has. When he won Feast or Fired, things changed. James Storm got jealous, and some rage came out he had never seen before. Then, Storm stabbed him in the back. Last week, they started a fight, and Storm ran like the coward he is. At Lockdown, they are in a cage. When you put Gunner in a cage, he gets PTSD and becomes a different man. That cage will be their battlefield.
Axl Storm now comes out. Or is he James Angel? Storm says Gunner takes his Marine Corps code seriously. To him, it sounds like an excuse, like how he could be World Champion if it weren’t for Storm. Then, he’ll tell stories about how he beat up Storm in a London street fight, but we all know how that went. So, come Sunday, Gunner needs to pack a lunch, because it will be an all-day ass-whipping. Gunner says that’s fine. He wants Storm in a cage and wants a fight. He’s got something to prove to everyone, and that’s he’s the toughest man in their former tag team. As for Storm, if he’s so tough, why don’t they make it Last Man Standing as well? Storm screams about his manhood, then says that out of the two of them, he’s the man. He’s been the World Champion, something Gunner will never be. At Lockdown, Gunner needs to pray to his god because Storm will cut him down. Storm then nails a knee to the gut. Storm then hits a Last Call that makes Alberto Del Rio’s telegraphed thrust kick look devastating by comparison.
Bobby Roode is in the back with Brian Hebner, trying to find out what’s going on. It’s been an hour, and he wants an answer.
We see Richards being taped up by MVP.
Roode comes out and says it’s been an hour. Richards has had one hour. It’s obvious he’s too injured to continue the match, so Roode demands Brian Hebner ring the bell and start the 10-count.
MATCH 4 (Continuation from the opening contest): Bobby Roode vs. Davey Richards
Hebner begins the 10-count and gets to 8. Hebner then just stops counting because the Wolves’ music hits. That makes sense. Richards comes out, accompanied by MVP and Edwards, who then stay at the top of the ramp. Pretty sure it took more than 2 seconds for him to get down to the ring. The bell rings again, and Roode immediately attacks Richards in the corner, where he wraps the bad arm around the ring post. Back in the ring, Roode continues the attack, applying an arm wringer. Richards fights back until Roode clubs him in the arm. He follows up with a jumping kneedrop to the shoulder. Roode hotshots the arm across the top rope from the outside, then slides back in. He rips the tape of Richards’ shoulder and stomps him once more. He then misses another jumping knee, this time out of the corner. Richards pulls himself back up and blocks a charge in the corner. He goes up to the outside to climb up, but can’t do it. Roode meets him on the apron for a piledriver, but Richards escapes and snaps Roode’s leg through the ropes. Back in, Richards nails some rights, dodges a clothesline and hits an enziguri. Richards then low-bridges Roode to the floor as Mike Tenay tastelessly segues “Shooter” Billy Robinson’s death into making sure fans know that Bellator MMA is on tomorrow. F*ck you, Tenay. Back to the match, Richards nails a suicide dive, then throws Roode back into the ring. He climbs to the top and hits a seated missile dropkick for 2. Richards tries to be Daniel Bryan by hitting some kicks to the chest and looks for the Buzzsaw. Roode ducks and picks Richards up for the Roode Bomb. Richards escapes and rolls Roode up in a sunset flip for 2, then tries for the half-crab once more, locking it in. I refuse to call it an Achilles Lock, since that’s not what it is. Roode rolls to his back and kicks Richards in the shoulder, breaking the hold. In the corner, Richards charges at Roode, but Roode sidesteps him and sends him shoulder-first into the ring post. Roode hits the Roode Bomb, then locks in the Bowflex for the submission win.
WINNER: Bobby Roode. Team Roode, now has the man advantage in Lethal Lockdown. Roode breaks the hold and applies a fujiwara, but breaks it quickly when MVP and Eddie Edwards hit the ring.
We get another video for Tiger Uno. This is about the laziest name change I’ve seen since Brother Ray and later Bully Ray.
Dixie Carter is in her dressing room. Magnus enters and says he just talked to EC3, who says Lethal Lockdown is all sewn up. She says you bet, because no one is taking control of the company. Magnus says that’s great, but what about the bigger picture? He’s referring to himself, and asks what the strategy for his match is. She says the strategy is that he needs to back up his mouth and beat Samoa Joe on Sunday. Magnus asks if she’s serious. She is. As a heart attack.
Top-to-bottom, this could be one of the worst Lockdown cards in years. The Bromans are in the main event, for Hubbard’s sake.
Samoa Joe comes out, and he immediately screams at Magnus. If Magnus has one shred of courage left, he’ll walk down here and face Joe in front of Magnus’ countrymen and hear what Joe has to say.
The show then cuts to footage of animals. Uh…
End of show?
Dustin Nichols is a freelance writer, and you can keep track of all of his work on his Facebook page, which can be found at www.facebook.com/DustinNicholsWriter. Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out his mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:
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