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TNA Impact Wrestling Results & March 27 Recap

This week’s show opens with MVP heading down to the ring. He says he knows Abyss can hear him, and what he needs to know is that MVP’s intention here is to make a level playing field, and wrestlers will rise/fall based on talent alone. A great man once said that the cream always rises to the top. So, after speaking to the board of directors, it’s time to make an executive decision.

Before that can happen, Magnus and Abyss interrupt. Magnus says that, before MVP does anything rash, he needs to remind MVP that Abyss has a legitimate service contract with the World Champion. He doesn’t work for TNA or MVP; he works for Magnus. That means the only time MVP’s authority works on him is through Magnus, and Magnus has to be in the ring. That’s the way it is, and MVP needs to get on-board. MVP is completely on-board, and knowing Magnus the way he does, he’s sure Magnus has legal documentation. Magnus does, so MVP says there shouldn’t be any problems. After being handcuffed to Abyss, MVP saw how violent he could be. Make no mistake, MVP isn’t going to fire him, but he’s also not afraid of him. If Abyss puts his hands on MVP again, MVP will show him a real violent side. But that’s for another day. As he’s watched Magnus manipulate him, he wondered if Abyss wanted something more, something great. He asks if Abyss wants a shot at the title. Since they’d both be in the ring at the same time, MVP can make it happen. When that title is on the line, we’ll find out where Abyss’ loyalties really lie. Before we go, someone has been getting shafted by Magnus repeatedly, so next week, Magnus will defend the title against Abyss and the still-#1 contender, Samoa Joe in a 3-way next week.

Joe comes down and says he’s not hearing things right. If he’s not mistaken, he’s only asked MVP for one thing, and it’s for Joe to have a fair, uninterrupted opportunity to beat Magnus’ ass and take back the title. Instead of that, he’s hearing his rematch is now a handicap match. MVP points out it’s a 3-way, and Magnus can’t control Abyss with the title on the line. Joe tells MVP he’s about to have a problem controlling Joe in a few seconds. Magnus says they have their own problems, so he’s just going to go ahead and do one thing. Before that happens, Joe nails Magnus. Abyss attacks Joe from behind, and MVP starts attacking him. Eric Young hits the ring and attacks both Magnus and Abyss as we go to commercials.

Back from the break, EY, Joe and MVP are still in the ring. EY says he has the solution to MVP’s problem. He brought out the monster in Abyss, so he’s gotta be the one to stop him. MVP put Abyss in a match with Joe and Magnus next week, and now he’s going to put EY in it as well. He’s going to take care of Abyss, and Joe is going to get what he deserves, and that’s Magnus one-on-one. MVP says he respects EY, but EY hasn’t earned this just yet. EY says he’s been here 10 years. Where was MVP when he was in Team Canada or leading World Elite? He lists off the rest of the crap he’s done, then lists off all the titles he’s won in TNA. Lastly, every crazy idea TNA has saddled on him, he’s taken the ball, ran with it and knocked it out of the park. Some say he’s the most entertaining wrestler out there, and that’s important to him. But make no mistake, he’s a world-class wrestler, and he will get what he deserves. Joe steps between them and says no one doubts EY. The problem is there’s a line, and EY isn’t at the head of it. MVP still hasn’t delivered Joe his fair title match, and until he gets that, EY gets nothing. MVP says they all agree on an even playing field. He appreciates EY’s passion, and EY validated his case. He can’t deny someone who is willing to step up to the plate, so if EY wants in the title match, he’s in, making it a 4-way. Joe gets in EY’s face and pie-faces him, so EY tackles him. Now they are brawling, and MVP is just letting it happen. A couple of referees come down and pull them apart, and that’s when MVP steps in. Joe screams at EY and challenges him to a one-on-one match later tonight. MVP makes it official.

Bully Ray is in the back, and he says his “Twitter Machine” is back. Bobby Roode, if you mess with the bull, you get the horns. Tonight, you better get the tables. A lot of them.

The Wolves approach MVP in the back, and they have a favor to ask for MVP. They want a match with Magnus and Abyss tonight. MVP likes the idea, and he can’t be responsible for what happens to the Wolves’ opponents.

We get a video of EC3 and Rockstar Spud hunting for Willow in a forrest. I’m not recapping this garbage. What kind of stupid crap is this?

MATCH 1: The Wolves (Eddie Edwards and Davey Richards) vs. Abyss and World Champion Magnus
Edwards and Magnus start for their teams and Magnus quickly goes to an arm wringer. Richards counters into a hammerlock, and Magnus nails a back elbow, sending Richards to the corner. He stomps Richards down, then nails him in the face with a right. He follows up with a gut shot and a European uppercut, then taunts Edwards. Richard tries to fight back, backflips out of a suplex and tags in Edwards. Edwards hits some chops and the Wolves hit their drop toehold/dropkick combo for 2. Richards back in, and the Wolves hit a double headbutt. Richards throws Magnus into Edwards’ head and tags Edwards in. Abyss makes a blind tag off a double Irish whip and hits a double clothesline to the back. Commercials.

Back from the break, Magnus is back in. Edwards hits a headbutt and a chop, ducks a clothesline and goes for a cross-body. Magnus catches him and hits an elevated northern lights bomb for 2. He drives his knee into Edwards’ back and applies a rear chinlock. Edwards fights out, but gets hit with a back elbow off the ropes. Magnus stomps Edwards, then whips him across the ring. Edwards blocks the charge and hits a hurricanrana from the second rope. Edwards makes the tag, and Richards comes in with a kick on Abyss on the apron. He nails some shots on Magnus before hitting a modified Tidal Crush. Abyss comes in, and Richards sends him into Magnus in the corner. Richards comes off the top with a double dropkick, then hits some kicks to the chest. He escapes a slam, drops down behind Magnus and allows Edwards to come in with a step-up enziguri that sends him right into a Richards German suplex. Richards rolls through into a reverse jackknife for 2 as Abyss breaks up the pin. The Wolves begin double-teaming Abyss until Abyss grabs them in a double goozle. He picks them up for stereo chokeslams, but both Wolves backflip, land on their feet and nail Abyss in the knees with a pair of dropkicks. They hit a pair of kicks to the face, sending Abyss to the floor. Richards hits a suicide dive, and in the ring, Edwards locks Magnus in a half-Boston crab, to which Magnus taps out almost immediately.

WINNERS: The Wolves. Abyss is confused by Magnus’ actions, then grabs the title and stares at it for a moment before bringing it back to Magnus. Instead of giving it to Magnus, however, he walks right by Magnus and carries the title to the back.

Angelina Love and her sh*tty jailhouse tattoos come down to the ring. She says her and Velvet Sky have an issue, because Sky hasn’t answered her calls all week. Before this escalates, she wants Sky to come down and tell her what the hell Sky’s problem is.

Sky comes down, wearing lifting gloves with street clothes for whatever reason. She says she is pissed off. What was that with Madison Rayne last week? Love said she would fix things, but instead mopped the floor with Rayne. Love says she did that for the Beautiful People. Sky didn’t sign up for this, so Love asks what she signed up for, an introduction to being mediocre? Without Love, that’s what Sky is. She’s bland, soft and has lost her edge. She’s on her way to becoming another forgotten face around here. Sky has nothing to say because Love is right. Sky was a somebody in the BP, because she had Love. Sky says things have changed around here, and Love says the only thing that’s changed around here is Sky. She sat at home for 2 years because she’s a headache, but she’d rather do that and be blackballed by wrestling than be someone else’s beyotch. Tonight, she has a match with Rayne, and by the time that’s over, Sky needs to pick a side. And she needs to commit to that side because she wants to, not because Love is telling her. Love then walks off.

We get a video package for the feud between Gunner and James Storm. They are facing each other later tonight.

The “Hunt for Willow” continues. I continue to not care.

And the “hunt” continues some more. They’re in front of a barn. EC3 enters, makes fake screaming noises, then laughs. Willow kidnaps Spud from behind. Just riveting stuff here. Great television.

Another video for Gunner/Storm.

Bully Ray comes down, then motions for someone else to come out. Some random fans (mostly local wrestlers, I’m sure) come down and surround the ring with tables. A couple get set up in the ring as well, and Ray says he bought every table he could find. He does his catchphrase and says he’s the guy who made sure that Dixie Carter is no longer part of TNA. If Bobby Roode would have won at Lockdown, he would have been just like Dixie. The last thing wrestling needs is another owner like Dixie. He put Roode through a table, and Roode did the same to him. The time for talk is over. Ray asks the fans how many tables Roode should be put through, and he comes out after Ray counts to five. Roode says he isn’t intimidated. The guy Ray screwed over doesn’t exist anymore. The opportunity to become an owner did blind him, but then he remembered who he is. He’s the guy who became the longest-reigning World Champion in company history. He’s the guy who smashed a beer bottle over his best friend’s head. And he’s the guy who spit in the face of Dixie before that became cool. He’s also the guy who tricked Ray last week into going to the corporate office just to give him a taste of his own medicine. Now, he asks the fans if they know who he is. Ray tells him to quit running mouth, get in the ring and fight him now. Roode calls him pathetically typical. Ray doesn’t call the shots and doesn’t tell Roode what to do. Roode is the guy who calls the shots around here. He says when and where. Ray says the same thing about himself, then says the fans want it now. Roode tells him it’s not going to happen and begins heading up the ramp. Ray leaves the ring and nails Roode from behind on the ramp, then begins nailing him with punches and elbows. He slams Roode’s face into the steps, then leans him against the guardrail for a chop. Roode falls across a table, and Ray signals for an elbow off the apron. Roode moves before Ray can dive, so Ray puts on the brakes before dropping down and nailing another chop. He leans Roode against a table for another chop, but misses, hurting his hand. Roode grabs the bad hand and slams it against the top of the guardrail before whipping it against the ring post. Roode goes for a suplex through a table, but Ray blocks it and goes for the Bully Cutter. Roode blocks that and shoves Ray face-first into the ring post before nailing a shot to the back. He nails another one to the face before rolling Ray onto the apron for a shot to the back. He pulls a set-up table closer to the apron and looks for a move. Ray boots him in the gut and signals for a powerbomb. Roode backdrops him into the ring over the top rope. In the ring, Roode gets on the middle rope, where he misses a blockbuster. Ray snaps off some jabs and hits the Flip, Flop & Fly. He signals for a big boot as Roode leans against a table in the corner. Ray charges, and Roode moves, causing Ray’s boot to go right through the table. Roode nails a chope to the chest, then goes for the Roode Bomb. Ray escapes, boots Roode and goes for a powerbomb through a table. Roode escapes and nearly goes through a table in the corner. Ray charges in, Roode sidesteps him and sends him head-first through the table. Roode then bails.

Abyss enters Magnus’ dressing room, title in-hand. Magnus says that belongs to him, and Abyss shoves the belt into him. He asks what happened out there when Magnus tapped in less than two seconds. Magnus says that’s right, and he has no problem doing that when the title’s not on the line. Abyss says he doesn’t like losing. Magnus tells him to change his outlook quick. When they started this relationship, it was about him retaining the title, and that’s it. Next week, he has to win, his opponents have to lose, and one of those opponents is Abyss. He asks if Abyss understands that, and Abyss says nothing. Magnus tells him not to let MVP get in his head, or he’ll end up someone’s freak show yet again.

Another video for Knux. He’s in a shop that apparently repairs jukeboxes and arcade machines with some woman. They’re talking about his dad that won’t speak to him.

MATCH 2: Angelina Love vs. Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne (non-title)
Love tries to attack before the bell. Rayne ducks a clothesline and nails one of her own before assaulting Love in the corner. Love rolls to the floor, and Rayne gives chase. Back in the ring, Love misses an elbow. Rayne nails a forearm to the back as Sky comes down to the ring. Rayne throws Love face-first into the buckles, then charges near the ropes. Love pulls the middle rope down and sends Rayne to the floor. Love rolls her back in before telling Sky to go to the corner. Rayne rolls her up from behind for 2, then gets an inside cradle in for another 2. Love comes back with a kick and a jawbreaker before launching Rayne to the floor. Sky checks on Rayne and Love drops to the floor. She tells Sky she’s supposed to be watching Love’s back as she rolls Rayne back in for a 2-count. Love rakes her nails across Rayne’s back, then continues to yell at Sky before foot-choking Rayne across the middle rope. Love yanks on Rayne’s face, then nails a forearm that sends Rayne into the ropes. Rayne ducks a clothesline and the two hit simultaneous hair whips on each other. Rayne blocks a forearm before hitting a few of her own. She hits a clothesline off the ropes, a back elbow and a northern lights suplex for 2. Rayne nails a seated dropkick that sends Love to the floor. Love screams at Sky. Boy, I didn’t miss that voice. As she’s screaming, Rayne hits a baseball slide before rolling Sky back in the ring. As the ref checks on Love, Sky boots Rayne in the gut and hits a DDT on the floor before rolling Rayne back in. Love covers her and gets the 3.

WINNER: Angelina Love. The Beautiful People celebrate after the match.

ODB approaches EY in the back and asks if he’s ready. He is, and he’s not afraid of anything. It’s not about the title, it’s about getting respect and making sure everyone knows what he’s about.

MVP is in his office dealing with a delivery man when Kenny King enters. He asks what MVP has for him tonight, and MVP has nothing for him. However, he has a show fit for a king next week, and he’ll make sure he’s got something for King.

MATCH 3: Samoa Joe vs. Eric Young
Joe talks some trash and shoves EY, so EY hits some rights. Joe throws him to the floor, but EY gets right back in and hits a seated dropkick that sends Joe to the corner. He nails some punches in the corner until Joe hits a kneelift. EY hits a right and a flying forearm for 1. EY throws Joe to the corner for some forearm shots, then tries a corner whip. Joe reverses, so EY does the Flair Flip. As he tries a shoulder thrust from the apron, Joe nails him in the chest with a kick. EY comes back with a few rights until Joe nails a back elbow. Joe slams EY face-first into the buckles, then hits a knife-edge. EY gets whipped across the ring, and Joe nails him with a running hip bump and a jumping spin kick for 2. EY tries to fight back with some more punches, and Joe stops that with a headbutt. Joe hits a snapmare, a chop to the back, a kick to the chest and a jumping kneedrop for 2. Joe corner-whips EY again, but EY avoids contact, leaps over Joe and comes off the ropes as the two simultaneously clothesline each other. EY hits some more rights, ducks a clothesline and hits one of his own. He follows up with a dropkick and a bodyslam, then signals for the flying elbow. Joe rolls out of the way, so EY jumps over him. Joe is in the corner, and he catches EY with a standing uranage for 2. Joe whips him into the corner again, and EY nails a boot. He goes up top and misses a moonsault. Joe locks in the Kokina Clutch. EY tries to fall back onto Joe out of the corner, but this only allows Joe to lock the hold in tighter, causing EY to pass out.

WINNER: Samoa Joe. As Joe is celebrating, Earl Hebner comes out and is discussing what just happened with Brian Hebner, the referee for the match. Brian is insisting EY passed out, but Earl is saying EY fell on top of him, and Brian should have counted the pin because Joe’s shoulders were down.

More Willow hunting. EC3 finds some of Spud’s clothes outside of an abandoned house, then heads in.

We see some footage from last week after the show. It’s Samuel Shaw, and he enters Christy Hemme’s dressing room. Hemme doesn’t want to hear what he has to say and slaps him before telling him to get out. She starts fake-crying as Shaw cuts off a strip of her hair and sniffs it. He then says that’s all he needed. Apparently, this has led to a whole one-week suspension for Shaw (this week). Next week, he’s back in a Straightjacket Match against Mr. Anderson.

Yet another Gunner/Storm video.

MATCH 4-No Disqualification Match: James Storm vs. Gunner
Gunner meets Storm on the ramp and assaults him with rights. Gunner sets up a table. I don’t know if the bell still has even been rung yet as Storm slams Gunner face-first into the steps. Gunner blocks a slam into the apron and nails Storm. He grabs a chair from under the ring and slides it in before nailing Storm with more rights. He goes for a suplex on the floor, which connects. Gunner throws a couple of trashcan lids into the ring, but then gets thrown into the steps again. Storm hits Gunner in the head with a water bottle, then nails a few rights before slamming him face-first into the apron. He pulls the drawstring from his tights for some reason, then nails a kick to the side of Gunner’s head, sending him back to the floor. On the ramp now, Storm hits a suplex. Gunner blocks another slam into the steps, then lands one on Storm himself. He grabs a chair and rams it into Storm’s gut, then tosses a couple more into the ring. The two finally get in the ring, and Storm hits a leaping DDT from the middle rope. Commercials.

Back from the break, Gunner hits a running knee in the corner before hitting a slingshot suplex for 2. Gunner grabs a chair and a trashcan lid, then drops the lid to wedge the chair in the corner. He tries to send Storm in, but Storm blocks it and tries the same thing. Gunner blocks it, and now the two are nailing trashcan lid shots on each other. Gunner gets the best of the exchange, but then takes one to the face. He no-sells it it and hits a spear for 2. Storm thumbs Gunner in the eye and nails an uppercut in the corner. Gunner comes back with a back elbow and goes for a sunset flip. Storm rolls through and catapults him into the chair from earlier. Storm hits a backcracker and follows up with a flying elbow for 2. Storm rolls to the floor and grabs two more chair and sets them in the ring before grabbing a beer bottle from under the ring. He then puts another chair into the ring, then climbs onto the apron with a trashcan lid. Gunner recovers and spears him through the ropes, sending him through the table below. Gunner rolls Storm in and covers him, getting only 2. Gunner grabs a chair, then grabs another one from outside. He sets them up in the middle, only one of them is broken. Storm gets set up on the top rope, and now Gunner is looking for a superplex. Storm fights him off, but Gunner continues the attack before hitting it through the chairs. Gunner goes for the pin, and Storm kicks out at 2 yet again. Gunner goes for the Mr. Pibb, but Storm escapes, hits Closing Time and two Last Calls for 2. An overrated chant breaks out, and I mean the one where they chant, “This is awesome”. Gunner grabs the beer bottle from earlier and smashes it over Storm’s head. He hits the Mr. Pibb, which is apparently called Hangar 18 now, and gets the 3.

WINNER: Gunner. Suddenly, I’m getting the feeling Storm might be done with TNA soon.

Back to Willow hunting in the abandoned house. EC3 threatens to burn the house when he sees Spud tied up. We hear Willow yell. God, I can’t take this. Willow shows up and beats EC3 up while laughing, hitting him with an umbrella and a plastic skeleton hand. Fearsome, I tells ya.

End of show.

Dustin Nichols is a freelance writer, and you can keep track of all of his work on his Facebook page, which can be found at www.facebook.com/DustinNicholsWriter. Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out his mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:

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Dustin Nichols

Dustin Nichols is a freelance writer, and you can keep track of all of his work on his Facebook page, which can be found at www.facebook.com/DustinNicholsWriter. Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out my mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:

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