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TNA Impact Wrestling Results & March 13 Recap

TNA Impact Wrestling starts off with EC3, Rockstar Spud, the Bromans and Zema Ion walking around in the back. EC3 is complaining that “aunt D” has lost everything, then says there’s one man to blame for all of this, that being Bobby Roode. Roode is in the back, and the group all begin yelling at him. He tells them to shut up and that they need to blame EC3’s aunt since her “insurance policy” is the one who screwed up everything. Since Dixie Carter isn’t here anymore, they can place the blame on Bully Ray, and as soon as he gets here tonight, they need to jump him and kick his ass.

MVP makes his way down to the ring as the new boss of wrestling operations in TNA. He says it gives him great pleasure to stand here and tell everyone that “Dixie Land” is officially closed. What a difference a week makes. Just a bit ago, he was a minority owner, and at Lockdown, he was part of the winning team. Now, it’s time to move on to better things. He then turns his attention to Bully Ray and says he won’t speak for Ray, but regardless of his past, he will be given a chance to compete on equal footing just like everyone else. Now, onto business. Now that he’s running things, what happens next? It’s the MVP principle: motivate, validate, participate. He will motivate talent, validate beefs in the ring, and if you’re out of the line, he will participate in disciplinary action. It’s just that simple. See, he’s a firm believer…

Magnus interrupts and makes his way down to the ring, still World Champion after Lockdown. He introduces himself, then says the MVP principle may be the most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard. MVP calls his title run ridiculous in response. Magnus mostly ignores this, then says while Dixie was wasting her time trying to keep control of wrestling operations and fumbling the ball, he was running with that ball, kicking it through the uprights and remaining YOUR World Champion.

The AV cuts out a bit, so I miss a bit, but I’m guessing nothing important was said. Anyway, before Magnus can go on much longer, Abyss comes out, and he appears to have stolen the Great Muta’s mask. Not really, but that’s what the new mask looks like. Magnus agrees with the “You sold out” chants that break out, because what you’re looking at is the monster, Abyss. But unlike the Jim Mitchells and Eric Youngs that have come before him, he doesn’t look at Abyss as a freak or sideshow; he’s only part monster. The rest is a machine, and that machine has received an upgrade courtesy of Magnus. He’s not only motivated by destruction; he’s also motivated by money. The World Champion has a bit of money with plenty to go around. That’s how it’s going to stay, and he & Abyss are a stronger force than MVP has ever dealt with. Money and power are what makes the world go ’round. MVP agrees with that point, but as he sees it, Magnus was having his ass kicked at Lockdown until miraculously Abyss was pulled out of his ass. MVP stops the conversation, saying someone is missing. He’s not concerned about Magnus’ monster. He’s not concerned about Magnus, either. He has to do what’s right, and that’s to make sure everyone gets their opportunities. So, he won’t say another word until the #1 contender comes out here, and that’s Samoa Joe.

Joe comes out, limping a bit and holding his ribs as a result of the attack by Abyss at Lockdown. MVP says Joe is out here, calm and collected because Joe believes in the MVP principle and knows MVP will do what is right going forward. For example, Magnus will defend the title against Joe next week. In addition to that, since Abyss pissed MVP off at Lockdown, he’s going to give Joe the opportunity to participate in a match right now against Abyss.

MATCH 1: Abyss vs. Samoa Joe
Joe immediately tackles Abyss and begins pelting him with right hands. Commercials.

Back from the break, Abyss is in control of Joe in the corner. He nails some shots to the gut, but Joe thumbs him in the eye before hitting some snap jabs. Abyss reverses a corner whip, misses a splash and gets hit with a spin kick to the head, knocking him to the mat. Joe lays in the Face Wash, but then gets caught with a knee to the gut as he comes off the ropes. Abyss chokes Joe over the middle rope, then rams him into the buckles. Abyss nails several more gut shots, knocking Joe down to his knees. Joe gets to his feet, and Abyss nails him with rights to the head. He hits a snapmare, then applies a neck vice. Joe elbows his way out and lays in some forearms until Abyss goozles him. Joe breaks it, nails a back elbow, an inverted atomic drop, a running boot and a running senton. Abyss comes back with a shot to the gut and some forearms to the back. Off the ropes, Joe snaps off a powerslam. Abyss pulls himself up to his feet in the corner, and Joe nails him with a Pepsi Max before calling for the Muscle Buster. He can’t get Abyss up, however. Abyss then misses a clothesline, and Joe comes off the middle rope. Abyss catches him in another goozle and hits a chokeslam. He drops down to the floor outside and pulls out Janice, which just happens to be under the ring. Back in, Abyss goes for a shot, but Eric Young shows up out of nowhere and nails Abyss with a seated missile dropkick, leading to the DQ.

WINNER VIA DISQUALIFICATION: Abyss. EY tries to continue the attack as Joe rolls to the floor, but gets nailed with a back elbow. He manages to come back with a dropkick that sends Abyss to the floor, and the two have a staredown.

JB is in the back, and he informs us he’s awaiting the arrival of Bully Ray. However, instead of Ray, the painted scarecrow herself, Angelina Love shows up.

After some commercials, JB is still standing by in the back. He’s interrupted by Willow, who is rambling in his obnoxious way.

MATCH 2: Brittany vs. Gail Kim (w/Lei’D Tapa)
Brittany is an indy wrestler formerly known as Santana Garrett. We get a quick video package before the match starts, and it’s pretty much a fluff piece. Kim lands a running boot right away, then throws Brittany to the corner for some kicks. Brittany comes back with forearms, but then misses a clothesline. Kim hits a quick backbreaker after ducking, then throws Brittany to the corner. She hits a shoulder thrust, then hits a reverse fireman’s carry front slam. Brittany hits a few more forearms, but then gets kicked in the leg and slammed face-first into the mat. Kim picks her up once again, but Brittany reverses into a side-Russian legsweep. She nails some more shots int he corner, and that’s when Tapa enters the ring. She tries to nail Brittany from behind, but Brittany sees it coming, causing Tapa to avalanche Kim. Brittany shoves Kim into Tapa. Brittany holds on and rolls Kim up for 3.

WINNER: Brittany.

After the match, Kim shoves Tapa, and Tapa reciprocates, knocking Kim on her ass. Kim slaps Tapa, so Tapa grabs her by the throat before slamming her down to the mat. Tapa nails some rights, then knocks down the ref before attacking Kim some more. Two more refs come down as Kim rolls to the floor.

Rockstar Spud runs into Bully Ray in the back, telling him that he’ll pay tonight. Seconds later, Dixie’s entourage attack Ray. Ray gets quadruple-teamed as Spud continues screaming. EC3 tells him he embarrassed the Carter family, then nails him one more time. Spud begins choking him with the chain, and that’s when Bobby Roode comes in. He tells Ray he screwed Roode, and now he’ll find out it pays to be Roode. Roode tells the entourage to hold him, then grabs what looks like a plastic table and hits him over the head.

DJ Z (ugh) does a dumbass introduction for the Bromans.

MATCH 3: World Tag Team Champions the Bromans (Jesse and Robbie E, w/DJ Z) vs. World X-Division Champion Sanada and Tigre Uno (non-title)
We get some video of Sanada and the Great Muta together. Basically, Muta says Sanada will be a star outside of Japan now, and he can bring the quality of puroresu to the US. It will be difficult, but everyone in Japan supports him. Sanada and Jesse start the match with a lock-up. Jesse hits a bodyslam and a dropkick. E tags in, and Sanada applies an arm wringer. Uno tags in, hits a kick and a chop. E comes back with a short-arm clothesline and tags in Jesse. Jesse presses Uno over his head as E tags back in. Jesse drops Uno face-first, and E hits an elbow. Jesse tags back in and sends Uno into the ropes. Sanada makes a blind tag as Uno comes down off a pancake attempt with a dropkick on E. Sanada and Uno hit a serious of double-team moves on E, then hit a double suplex on Jesse onto E. Uno goes for a suicide dive, but the Bromans see it coming. Sanada then wipes them out with a somersault plancha from the apron, gets in the ring and backdrops Uno onto the champs from inside the ring. Sanada rolls the champs back into the ring, and he & Uno hit a pair of missile dropkicks. Uno takes Jesse to the floor, and Sanada hits a moonsault on E for 3.

WINNER: Sanada and Tigre Uno.

We see Bully Ray in the back, recovering.

Madison Rayne and Velvet Sky are in their dressing room, and Sky is complimenting Rayne on her win at Lockdown. Rayne mentions Angelina Love, saying she’s back. Apparently, Sky knows nothing about it.

The Bromans and Z are in their locker room, throwing a fit about losing. Bully Ray enters the room and assaults the champions with a chair. He then gives Z a wedgie before throwing him into some lockers.

Samuel Shaw is thanking someone off-camera for their support. He says he’s an artist, and when this person interjected themselves in the match, he was inspired. Turns out it’s Christy Hemme, and he wants her to come out and watch him end Mr. Anderson once and for all. Then, the world will see the true meaning of their relationship. He then spots the camera man and chases him off.

We see Willow in the rafters somewhere.

Spud and EC3 are together in the back, and they’re apparently going to pay tribute to Dixie Carter. Spud then hands him a sign that he’s apparently prepared for the occasion.

Samoa Joe is in the back somewhere, looking for Eric Young. He finds him in a hallway and says he understands EY has history with Abyss, but his revenge is crossing into Joe’s business. Joe has his own problems, and he understands EY has a good heart, so he’s getting a free pass. If EY does it again, however, Joe will make him sorry. EY says this is his problem, and he needs to fix it no matter what. Joe tells him to have at it. EY says he’s already got it, because he’s going to be chained to Abyss during Joe’s rematch with Magnus.

Spud and EC3 come out, and the big thing I though was a sign is in fact a giant portrait of Dixie. They prop it up on an easel that has been set up in the ring. Spud pets it, then says we are here to mourn the loss of Dixie losing wrestling operations to MVP. Today, himself, EC3, the fans at home and those in the building are collectively in mourning because wrestling operations is now in control by an ex-convict. EC3 gets on the crowd for the “boring” chant. Back to Spud, he says tonight is not about MVP. Tonight is about his queen. It’s about how she made the fans feel, as well as EC3 and himself. That woman picked him up from obscurity. Like Mary and the baby Jesus, she cradled Spud in her arms. She made him into a man, the great big man he is today. He has a tribute prepared for her this evening, and he’d just like to say thank you, Dixie. This cuts over to a video about how wonderful Dixie is, leading up to Lockdown. Back to Spud, he says sometimes a video isn’t enough. He has prepared a reading as well as the camera nonsensically spins to somewhere in the crowd. Back to the ring, Spud recites a poem about Dixie.

Before he can finish, MVP comes out. He says this needs to stop right now. He didn’t approve this, and this ridiculousness is over. Dixie has gone home to Tennessee and she’s not coming back. He says Spud has grown on him like a fungus over these last weeks and has to commend Spud on his loyalty. As a matter of fact, he needs men like Spud on his roster. If Spud could be loyal to her, he could be loyal to MVP and the company. He then says they don’t need a chief-of-staff, and Spud needs to fulfill his contract as a wrestler. Spud says everyone is bigger than him, including some of the knockouts. MVP says the roster doesn’t have his heart. He has the heart of a lion. Spud gets all fired up and says he wants to fight tonight. MVP tells Spud he’ll have a match against someone making his debut tonight, Willow. EC3 begins laughing, and MVP says he shouldn’t be laughing, because next week, EC3 will face Bobby Lashley. Lashley then makes his way out, and EC3 says that won’t be happening because Lashley isn’t on the roster, so MVP cannot motivate him to compete against Lashley. MVP says that’s a valid point and makes a lot of sense. So, as his first act as the new DOO, he signed Lashley to a contract. Spud gets in Lashley’s face and begins screaming at him. Lashley grabs the Dixie portrait and beats Spud across the head with it. Spud cradles it in his arms and pets it. Lashley and EC3 then have a stare-down, but MVP steps in before Lashley can go any further. EC3 bails at the same time and heads to the back.

JB is still in the back and he stops EC3 on his way to the back. EC3 says he’s going to do the same thing to Lashley that he did to Angle. Out of nowhere, Bully Ray runs in and lays him out with a clothesline. Ray then grabs a metal sign and slams it down on EC3 after hitting him a few more times.

MATCH 4-Street Fight: Samuel Shaw vs. Mr. Anderson
Shaw comes out, then heads to the back. He comes out, carrying half a mannequin that dressed up to look like Christy Hemme. Apparently, this is the “Christy” he was talking to off-camera earlier. Shaw kisses the mannequin and begins petting it at Anderson’s music hits. As Anderson is going to do his intro, Shaw appears on the side of the stage and nails Anderson. The bell rings as Shaw throws Anderson down the ramp. He nails Anderson in the gut, then hits a straight right. Anderson begins to fight back with rights. He slams Shaw face-first into the apron, but then gets whipped into the steps. Shaw rolls in to look at “Christy”, then rolls back out to slam Anderson face-first into the apron. He nails a right, slams Anderson once more, then rams him back-first into the apron. Shaw nails more rights, and now Anderson is fighting back with kicks and punches. He goes for a suplex on the floor, but Shaw reverses it and hits one of his own. Anderson blocks another face slam and does it to Shaw before rolling him into the ring. Shaw gets to his feet and nails a kneelift. Anderson comes back with more punches, and now they are trading blows. Shaw goes to the throat, but then gets hit with a clothesline. Anderson hits more rights, a back elbow and a swinging neckbreaker. He hits a rolling fireman’s carry slam, and now Shaw is begging off in the corner. Anderson looks at “Christy” and grabs it by the head as Shaw begs for him to leave it alone. Anderson picks it up and goes for a kiss. He then throws it at Shaw and hits the Mic Check for 3.

WINNER: Mr. Anderson. Was the street fight stipulation really necessary? Anderson announces himself as the winner as I try not to put my fist through my computer monitor.

AI is in the back with Angelina Love. He asks why she’s back, and she says there’s one reason and one person. We’ll find that info out shortly.

I really don’t get why Jeff Hardy has dusted off the Willow gimmick, especially when the commentators are outright admitting that it’s Hardy under a mask.

We get another promo for “The King of the Night” Kenny King.

Angelina Love comes out, looking scrawnier than ever. She says there were times when she never thought she’d hear that music again, but it’s great to be back home in TNA. Since her departure a couple of years ago, her life has changed a lot, and she’s grown wiser. As a young girl in Canada, her dad used to tell her that you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. She never understood that until she left TNA. She never realized how much she missed the fans and standing in the ring. She feels that her dad’s words were deeper, meaning friendships, relationships and sisterhood, so with that being said, Velvet Sky, come down to the ring, please.

Sky heads out, and the two hug. Love says she can’t change the past, and there were so many things she wanted to say to Sky before she left, but she didn’t. She doesn’t know what it was, but being a part from Sky for the last two years, she realized she never would have been as successful without Sky. Angel Williams struggled in wrestling, and it wasn’t until Angelina Love was born and she teamed with Sky that they created a very special union in this industry, and that union of course is the Beautiful People. Every day, everywhere she goes, people ask when the Beautiful People are getting back together. She thinks it’s now time to put the “girl band” back together. Sky says she was caught off-guard by this, and she didn’t expect Love to show up tonight. A lot has changed since Love has been gone. During that time, she was finally able to find herself in wrestling. Most notably, she captured the Knockouts title for the first time. Now that that’s all behind her, she’s ready to move on. What’s she’s saying is there will never be a bond as strong as the BP had, and she’s ready to move on. Love says you have to take a step backward to move forward, and she thinks there’s a lot that the BP can still accomplish. They were good, and now they can be great. Sky hears what Love is saying, but she needs more time to think about this. She hugs Love and walks away.

Bully Ray is stalking around in the back.

MATCH 5: Rockstar Spud vs. Willow
Willow chases Spud into the ring and rams him back-first into the corner. Okay, before I get any further, let me just say that this Willow gimmick is even more pointless when Hardy couldn’t even be bothered to have new gear commissioned for it. Anyway, Willow chokes Spud in the corner, then sends him face-first across the ring into the buckles. Willow boots Spud, whips him across the ring and misses a splash. Spud hits a couple of forearms to the back and applies a side headlock. Willow counters with a back suplex. Spud pulls himself up in the corner, and Willow hits a handspring clothesline. Spud rakes the eyes, then climbs to the top. Willow crotches him and drops him down into the tree of woe. Willow hits a couple of kicks, then foot-chokes Spud while he remains upside-down. Willow drops to the floor and grabs his umbrella, that he smashes into Spud’s nuts, leading to the DQ.

WINNER VIA DISQUALIFICATION: Rockstar Spud. So, that’s the second DQ for the night. And with a g*ddamn umbrella, no less. Willow continues the attack until the ref pulls him off. Willow lays the ref out with a Twist of Fate (can’t bother to come up with a different finisher, either, apparently). Willow goes outside and slides a ladder into the ring before tossing a chair in as well. He sets the ladder up, then drags Spud back into the ring as he tries to escape. Willow hits a sit-out gourdbuster, puts Spud’s ankle in the chair, then Pillmanizes him by stomping on the chair. Willow stomps him in the face, then climbs to the top of the ladder, where he hits a splash to the trapped leg.

As Hardy…err, Willow is headed to the back, Bully Ray makes his way out. They have a brief stare-down before going their separate ways. Ray gets on the mic as the fans chant for him. He says he never thought he’d hear the Impact Zone chanting his name. They say when you die, your life flashes before you. When Ken Anderson Mic Checked him into the casket, his career flashed before his face. He came out here with the full intention of telling everyone why he did what he did. But from the minute he got here tonight, Bobby Roode and Dixie’s entourage made this physical. Ray tried to save Roode from himself. If he had won that match, he would have taken control of the company and turned into another Dixie Carter. Everyone knows the last thing the wrestling business needs is another Dixie Carter. He doesn’t want to talk anymore. He’s taken out all of Roode’s cronies, and now he wants to do what he does best: he wants to fight Roode right now.

Roode comes out and he charges the ring. The two trade punches until Ray hits the Flip, Flop and Fly. He heads outside and grabs a table, sliding it into the ring. Roode is still out, so apparently Ray’s elbow is now made of steel. Ray sets the table up as Roode finally gets to his feet. Ray turns around and gets hit with a spinebuster. Roode now signals that he’s going to put Ray through the table. He picks Ray up for the Roode Bomb, but Ray escapes and hits the Bully Cutter. Ray sets Roode up and powerbombs him through the table.

End of show.

Dustin Nichols is a freelance writer, and you can keep track of all of his work on his Facebook page, which can be found at www.facebook.com/DustinNicholsWriter. Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out his mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:

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Dustin Nichols

Dustin Nichols is a freelance writer, and you can keep track of all of his work on his Facebook page, which can be found at www.facebook.com/DustinNicholsWriter. Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out my mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:

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