Once again, this week’s Impact Wrestling opens up with Hulk Hogan. Tonight is the “BFG Series Selection Show”. Hey, remember Open Fight Night and Gut Check? Glad those are still around every month, as promised. Hulk says Hulkamania is once again alive and well in Atlanta, GA, brother. Last week, things could have been a lot worse, brothers. An act of God stopped him from chopping Bully Ray down with the edge of his hand, brothers. Because of all of the drama Bully Ray has caused, he told his daughter to stay home this week. Tonight is the selection show, and all 12 men for the series will be decided. Samoa Joe, Hernandez and Jay Bradley have already earned their spots. There are two other guys who don’t have to do anything to get spots, and that’s the last two BFG winners: Jeff Hardy and Bobby Roode. Jeff Hardy comes out first and he says he’s tired of hammers and Aces & Eights. He’s going to win the series again this year, then win the World title in San Diego…
Bobby Roode’s music cuts him off. Roode tells Hulk to save his breath. “The IT Factor” doesn’t need an introduction. Everyone knows he was the longest-reigning World Champion in TNA history, and if you want to talk about the BFG Series, you’re looking at the first-ever winner. He’s 1-for-1, and this year, he’s making it 2-for-2. Hulk says next week, is OFN (hey, looks like they remembered!), and the fans will decide who gets the first call-out next week, Roode or Hardy. Roode says this is perfect and hopes everyone votes for him, because next week, he’s going to get in the ring and call out Hardy. So…this voting thing doesn’t even matter. Roode says he’s going to kicks Hardy’s ass next week, and Hardy says he should do it now.
This week on TNA Impact Wrestling AJ Styles faces Kurt Angle in a BFG Qualifier, and Bad Influence takes on James Storm & Gunner in a tag team qualifying match.
BI are in the back talking to AI, and Kazarian says Storm has had more partners than Taylor Swift. Gunner frightens people, but not them. Christopher Daniels says the odds are in their favor, and one of them will have the title around their waist.
MATCH 1-Tag Team BFG Series Qualifier: Bad Influence (Christopher Daniels and Kazarian) vs. World Tag Team Champions Gunner and James Storm (non-title)
Storm and Daniels start the match with a lock-up. Storm backs Daniels into the corner and gives a clean break. He blocks a punch, hits one and applies a headlock. Storm shoulders Daniels off the ropes, blocks a hip toss and hits one of his own before hitting a suplex and a jumping kneedrop. Gunner tags in, and the champs hit a double shoulderblock for 2. Daniels kicks Gunner and tags in Kaz, who fires off some forearms. Gunner catches a cross-body and hits a fall-away slam. He goes for a fireman’s carry, but Kaz escapes. Daniels trips Gunner, and Kaz hits a springboard legdrop before tagging in Daniels. Daniels hits some shots to the back of the head and tags in Kaz. They hit a series of strikes that ends in a Kaz elbow drop for 2. Gunner gets corner whipped, but rebounds with a double clothesline. Storm tags in and hits some moves on Kaz before nailing a running neckbreaker. Kaz tries for a headscissors out of the corner, but Storm counters into an Alabama Slam for 2. Daniels breaks up the pin, and Gunner takes him out with a clothesline. Running knee for Kaz, and now Gunner goes for the Gun Rack. Daniels breaks it up and throws Gunner to the floor. BI double-team Storm, but he ducks a double clothesline, shoves Daniels into Kaz, then hits a backcracker. He ducks a shot by Kaz and hits Closing Time. He signals for the Last Call, but Daniels nails him with a title belt from behind the ref’s back. Kaz rolls Storm up in a small package and gets the 3.
WINNERS: Bad Influence. They join Joe, Bradley, Hernandez, Hardy and Roode. Five spots left.
We see Crimson enter the building. AI stops him and asks where he’s been. He says he hasn’t been seen in 12 months, and he’s not going to tell AI why he’s here.
Velvet Sky has a manila envelope in her hand, and says it’s a present for Mickie James that will make everyone happy.
Crimson makes his way out, and it looks like this he’s in a BFG Series Qualifier, according to Mike Tenay. Crimson says 470 and 12. Those are two numbers that have been consuming him. Crimson was undefeated for 470 days, and then his streak was ended almost 12 months ago to the day. One small blemish, and he gets sent home for a year. Tonight, he’s no longer consumed by numbers, and has a chance to qualify for the BFG Series, a series he’s no stranger to. Joseph Park, he’s starting with you.
MATCH 2-BFG Series Qualifier: Crimson vs. Joseph Park
Crimson boots Park and clubs him down. He pie-faces Park, and Park slaps him before hitting a hip toss. Crimson no-sells and nails a clothesline. Park gets sent hard into the corner and collapses face-first on the mat before rolling to the floor. Crimson follows him and slams him face-first into the apron. Back in the ring, Crimson locks in a cravat and hits some kneelifts to the face before hitting a neckbreaker. Park hits some weak shots to the gut and face, but gets hit with a spinebuster. Crimson calls for the spear as Park climbs to his feet in the opposite corner. Park avoids the spear, causing Crimson to hit the corner. Park rolls him up in a schoolboy and gets the 3.
WINNER: Joseph Park. Four spots in the series left to fill.
We see Mickie James in the back, putting on her wh*repaint…err, makeup. She isn’t sure what Sky has for her, but it is so sweet for Sky to give the champ a present.
Velvet Sky makes her way out, envelope in hand. She says she needs to clear the air about a little something that’s been on her mind lately. Ever since losing the KO title, her friendship with Mickie James has been up in the air. So, in the envelope, she has the solution to all of their problems. If James would please come out, Sky has a present for her. James comes out and she says she’s overwhelmed with emotion. Yes, she’s the champ, but Sky is the KO of the Month. If anything, she should give Sky something. Sky takes a piece of paper out of the envelope, and Sky says it’s clearance from her doctor. That means it’s rematch time. James says you can fake documentation like this thanks to the internet, and even if this is real, the paper says she was cleared yesterday. As far as she can see, Sky’s knee is still hurt. James then kicks her in the knee and applies a variation of the STF until the referees come out and break the hold.
Matt Morgan is pacing in the back and says you’re looking at the man Sting could not beat, yet he has to qualify for the BFG Series. These are the hoops he has to jump through. Just like Sting, these chumps in the Series can’t beat him.
MATCH 3-4-Way BFG Series Qualifier: Rob Terry vs. Kenny King vs. Magnus vs. Matt Morgan
This is one-fall to a finish, and will be under tag rules. Morgan and King start the match, but King immediately tags out to Terry. Morgan shoves Terry, and Terry shoves back. Terry tries a shoulder, and it has no results. Morgan does the same thing, and they continue to trash-talk. King kicks Terry in the back, and this allows Morgan to clothesline him to the back of the head. Morgan hits some headbutts and punches in the corner, then foot-chokes him. King tags himself in and stomps Terry down until Terry begins no-selling. King thumbs him in the eye and tags in Morgan, who hits a low running boot. Morgan sits on Terry’s back, then hits a kneelift. King makes a blind tag and hits a springboard double axe handle. Terry fights out of a rear chinlock, but King hits a jawbreaker. Off the ropes, Terry pancakes him, and Magnus makes a blind tag. He hits a couple clotheslines, as well as a misdirection version. He knocks Morgan and Terry off the apron and catches King off the middle rope for the elevated northern lights bomb. Magnus calls for the flying elbow and connects. He goes for the pin, but Morgan breaks it up. Terry rams Morgan into the corner for some shots as King hits a jumping roundhouse on Magnus. Terry hits King with a chokeslam, and Morgan drops Terry with a Carbon Footprint. He charges at Magnus, but Magnus low-bridges Morgan, sending him to the ramp. Magnus hits the Mag-Daddy Driver and gets the 3.
WINNER: Magnus. Definitely the most deserving guy in this match, and I’m glad TNA didn’t go with Morgan, like it seemed they would.
Eric Young is talking to AI, and says he is going to try to get into the BFG Series tonight by trying to reel in Austin Aries. He then realizes this is being taped and he’s blowing his own cover before running to the bathroom.
Video for Quentin Jackson. This segues into TNA showing us that he’s in the building tonight.
Video for Sting losing at Slammiversary. Let me just say that seeing Bully Ray piledrive Sting on the wood under the canvas doesn’t impress me. Honestly, that spot was so beyond irresponsible that I can’t believe Sting was stupid enough to agree to it.
Sting makes his way out to the arena. He says it’s really good to be back in Atlanta, GA. One year ago at Slammiversary, he was the first wrestler to be inducted into the TNA Hall of Fame, and it’s a night he’ll never forget, but a lot has happened since then. Bully Ray’s deception, which led to Slammiversary this year. Sting was given what he wanted, and that was a shot at Ray’s World title. Everyone knows Sting failed, and because of that, he can no longer wrestle for the TNA World title. At Slammiversary, Ray sent wave after wave until Sting was overwhelmed. Ray took over, and the rest is history. And there’s one other fact that Sting won’t ever forget: he was left to fend for himself. Not one wrestler came out to help him when he was in dire straits. But that’s okay. Ray and his group always have each other’s backs. They are just like family. Yeah…family. Just. Like. Family. Family. Oh, just when he thought he was out, they suck him back in. He has to go back to a place he never thought he would, and that’s to create his own family, a family he can trust that knows they can trust him. His own new family. Or, should he say, his own new Main Event Mafia. Very soon, the new Main Event Mafia will rise. Aces and Eights, you’re going to fall.
Great. Just what TNA needs is another faction war storyline. How many more times do we have to relive this? MEM, Frontline, Aces and Eights, the Elite Guard, SEX, Fourtune, Immortal, The Kings of Wrestling…I am convinced TNA has completely run out of ideas.
I love how TNA calls AJ/Angle “PPV-quality”, which basically tells you the rest of the matches they show on free TV are not good enough for your money. Way to market, TNA.
MATCH 4-BFG Qualifier: Eric Young (w/ODB) vs. Austin Aries
We see a video from EY’s new reality show, and in one piece, ODB mentions that they’re still KO Tag Team Champions, but haven’t defended the belts in six months. Meanwhile, back in the arena, they don’t bother to wear the belts. TNA needs to just forget they ever had that championship. Lock-up to start, and Aries turns it into a hammerlock. EY counters into a fireman’s carry and turns it into an armbar. Aries counters into a headscissors for 2. The fans are so into EY in Atlanta that they begin chanting “ODB!” Anyway, another lockup, and Aries turns it into an armbar. EY flips out into his own before Aries counters into a double-leg takedown and slaps EY across the back of the head before taunting in the corner. Aries escapes to the floor, and ODB gets in the ring for no reason. EY takes her down with a waistlock before mocking Aries’ taunt. EY slams him head-first into the buckles, hits a clothesline and a dropkick for 2. EY throws Aries into two of the corner but misses a clothesline. Aries slides to the floor to reprimand ODB. EY grabs him, so Aries thumbs the eyes and hotshots him from the outside. Back in the ring, Aries throws Young to the corner, then chokes him over the top rope. He follows with a choke over the middle rope, then hits a tope con hilo for 2. Aries applies a rear chinlock with a knee to the back, then rakes they eyes. In the corner, Aries hits an open-hand chop, followed by another. EY avoids a corner whip and fires off some rights. He Flair Flops off another whip attempt, avoids a clothesline and hits some rights. Aries does the Flair Flop as well, but gets knocked off the apron into the guardrail. EY follows up with a slingshot cross-body before rolling Aries back into the ring. EY hits a belly-to-belly suplex for 2. Taz called it the “classic high school belly-to-belly suplex”. You know, I wrestled in junior high, and no one ever hit a belly-to-belly suplex on anyone. Ever. In fact, that would be an illegal move. EY goes up for the elbow, but Aries gets back to his feet and crotches EY. He follows up with a running corner dropkick, then kills EY with a brainbuster for 3.
WINNER: Austin Aries. Two spots left.
We see Aces and Eights in the back. Ray is talking about the BFG spot reserved for them. DOC and Ray are apparently arguing about who is going to win the battle royal. Everyone agrees Mr. Anderson should get the spot, except him. He eventually agrees, albeit begrudgingly.
Chris Sabin is talking about his return, and what would have happened if he hadn’t torn up his knees. A year ago when he returned, it was only for seven matches, one of which was then-World X-Division Austin Aries. He might have beaten Aries for the belt, and maybe moved onto Destination X to become World Champion. That’s fine, though. He’s now a 5-time champion. Does he give that up for the World title? Right now, he doesn’t know yet.
MATCH 5-6-Man Battle Royal BFG Series Qualifier; Participants: Devon, Mr. Anderson, Wes Brisco, Knux, Garett Bischoff and DOC
Everyone acts like they’re going to fight, circling each other. At one point, they all stop and surround Anderson. He finger-blasts Wes (that didn’t sound right), and Brisco goes diving over the top rope. He does the Hulk point at Garett, and Garett lets Anderson throw him out. Knux puts his dukes up, and Anderson points to the crowd. Knux looks and Anderson finger-pokes him over the top rope. Anderson tells Devon to get the table, and Devon jumps over the top rope to do so, pretending he got tricked. DOC is the only other guy left in the ring, and Anderson pretends to mind-will him over the top rope. DOC isn’t budging, though. After a moment, he starts to climb over the top rope, but then changes his mind. Devon and Knux jump on the apron and scream at him, and now Anderson is screaming in his face. DOC eventually nails Anderson and beats him down. Anderson comes back with a kneelift and throws him to the floor.
WINNER: Mr. Anderson. The rest of A and E get in DOC’s face as the group leaves through the crowd.
Quentin Jackson stops Kurt Angle in the back and wants to know what Angle meant by what he said last week when he said Jackson could face him when he was ready. Angle says he was talking about training, and that you can’t just step in and expect to be good.
We see DOC trying to leave the building as the rest of A and E continue screaming at him. Bully Ray shows up and tells everyone to shut up. All DOC had to do was stick to the plan. TNA is doing to them what they do to TNA. DOC tries to explain himself. Ray says he likes DOC stepping up and having passion, but they had a plan, and they needed to stick to it. DOC apologizes and then addresses something else. AJ Styles turned his back on A and E, hitting DOC with their hammer. Tonight, he’s stepping up to take AJ out himself. Ray tells him to get the job done.
MATCH 6-BFG Series Qualifier: Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles
This is for the final spot in the series. AJ has a new theme song. Lock-up starts the match, and Angle backs AJ into a corner, giving a clean break. Angle ducks another attempt and goes into a waistlock. AJ counters, and Angle breaks it with an arm wringer. AJ counters into his own and turns it into a side headlock. Shoulder off the ropes by AJ does nothing. Angle goes to the ropes and is met with a dropkick. AJ hits a snapmare and follows up with a kick to the spine and an elbow to the trapezius muscle. Angle gets sent to the corner, where AJ nails him with a flying forearm. Backbreaker connects, and now AJ is assaulting Angle in the corner. Angle fights back with rights before stomping AJ down in the corner and foot-choking him. AJ shakes it off and chops Angle before hitting a suplex. Kick to the gut by AJ, and Angle gets thrown to the corner once more. AJ goes for another suplex, but Angle blocks it and fights AJ off with rights. AJ kicks him and suplexes him into the turnbuckles. We see Quentin Jackson watching from a skybox. Commercials.
WINNER: AJ Styles, who becomes the 12th and final man in the BFG Series. After the match, A and E triple-team Angle in the ring until Quentin Jackson runs down. Knux and Anderson leave the ring as DOC is still in there. Jackson tries to nail him with a chain, but he ducks and jumps to the outside. A and E circle the ring as Jackson swings his chain before backing off.
End of show.
Dustin Nichols is a freelance writer, and you can keep track of all of his work on his Facebook page, which can be found at www.facebook.com/DustinNicholsWriter. Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out his mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:
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