Bobby Roode and EC3 are in the ring. We are going straight into a match for once.
MATCH 1-Tag Team Tables Match: Ethan Carter III and Bobby Roode vs. Bully Ray and Willow
The two teams start brawling as soon as Willow hits the ring. Ray mounts Roode in the corner for some punches as Willow is hitting shoulder thrusts on EC3 in the adjacent corner. The faces hit a Poetry in Motion on Roode, and then one for EC3. Ray hits a bodyslam on EC3 as Willow goes up top for the Whassup. Ray tells Willow to get the tables, and Willow grabs one from outside. EC3 is back in the ring as the faces set the table up, and now Roode is back in as well. He hits a clothesline on Ray, and EC3 nails Willow with a dropkick. The heels go for a double back body drop through the table, but Ray moves it. EC3 nails Ray with a forearm off the ropes, and now the heels set the table up once more. They hit Ray with forearms and boots before going for a double suplex through the table. Willow moves the table, then hits Roode with a reverse enziguri. EC3 drops him with a clothesline, then slams Willow’s face into the mat. Willow laughs and no-sells the slams before hitting a sit-out jawbreaker. He hits a handspring splash in the corner, then a slingshot dropkick. He hits a sit-out Twist of Fate, then a standard version after a stupid dance before going for the table once again. He sets it up near the corner and sets EC3 on it before going up top. Rockstar Spud rolls down to ringside in a wheelchair, and Willow notices him, dropping to the floor, where he dropkicks Spud in the chair before carrying him to the back. Back in the ring, Ray goes up top, but Roode grabs his foot and dumps him over the table. The heels stomp Ray down, but Ray comes back with a pair of low blows. He launches Roode at EC3 from the middle rope, then hits a double clothesline. He nails Roode with the Flip, Flop & Fly, then hits one on EC3 for good measure. The table gets set up near the ropes as Ray looks for a powerbomb. Roode nails Ray from behind and goes for the Roode Bomb. Ray escapes and goes for the Bully Cutter, but Roode shoves him off before hitting a spinebuster through the table.
WINNERS: Ethan Carter III and Bobby Roode.
Kenny King shows up in the arena on the back of a golf cart, then asks the staffer at the door what he’s on for tonight. The staffer says King isn’t booked for tonight, so King storms into the building, asking where MVP is.
AI approaches Magnus outside, asking where Abyss is. Magnus says Abyss is fine, and there’s nothing to worry about.
Elsewhere, AI 2 is with MVP in his office. MVP says he’s stoked for tonight because the card is stacked, then goes over the matches booked for the evening when Kenny King enters his office. MVP tells him he’ll catch up with King later and more or less pushes him to the side.
MATCH 2-Straightjacket Match: Mr. Anderson Samuel Shaw
Oh, yay. Two guys I don’t give a rat’s ass having a 3rd match. Anderson cuts a long, dumb-ass promo before Shaw comes out. It’s pathetic how awful Anderson is at public speaking. Shaw comes out, and he decides to give a promo, too. More yay. He rambles on about creating art, then calls everyone in the building besides him ordinary. As he gets on the apron, Anderson nails him with a forearm, officially starting this match. Anderson nails Shaw on the outside, then goes for the straightjacket. Shaw comes back with rights and a kneelift. Anderson reverses an Irish whip, sending Shaw over the ring steps. He grabs the jacket once again and tries to put it on Shaw. Shaw kicks him away, back-first into the steps. Commercials.
Back from the break, Shaw clotheslines Anderson in the ring with the jacket in his hands. He chokes Anderson, hits a right, then tries to get Anderson in the jacket. He gets Anderson’s arms in the sleeves, then begins to celebrate. Anderson hits him in the face, follows up with a pair of clotheslines, a back elbow and a spinning neckbreaker. He hits Shaw with a rolling fireman’s carry slam, then finally takes the jacket off. He gets one of Shaw’s arms in, then the other. Shaw kicks him in the nuts, then locks in the kata gatame. He chokes Anderson out, takes the jacket off and gets Anderson in it. Anderson starts to fight back, so Shaw chokes him with the kata gatame once again. He continues getting the jacket on Anderson, then turns him over to tie up the straps, something he has no idea how to do. Eventually, the ref decides he’s done a good enough of a job and calls for the bell.
WINNER: Samuel Shaw, who is sporting a bloody nose.
AI is in a dressing room with the Beautiful People, and he asks Angelina Love how long she’s been waiting for this moment. Love says this is years in the making, and tonight, the BP will rewrite history. If we thought they were deadly before, we haven’t seen anything yet. Velvet Sky then goes off on Madison Rayne and says that while Rayne should be at home taking care of her baby, she’s going to get beat down by the “vixens of violence”.
Earlier today, AI was with Eric Young outside, asking about his World title match tonight. He says this isn’t about the title; it’s about responsibility. He brought out the monster, and he has to deal with it. Having said that, he’s been here 10 years, and tonight, he’ll show everyone why he deserves this spot.
MATCH 3: Tigre Uno vs. World X-Division Champion Sanada (non-title)
We are informed this is the first match in a best-of-3 series, and if the series goes to a third match, the title will be on the line. Before it starts, Kenny King comes out and says no disrespect, but the “King of the Night” is in the building right now. He’s not here to own the spotlight; he’s here to lock it down. He’s the “pretty-boy pitbull”, and he IS the X-Division. The division isn’t the same without him. He then rambles that he was born for this. Before it goes on too long, MVP comes out. Are we even going to get this match?
MVP calls King crazy, interrupting his show. This became his show when he sent Dixie Carter home, and he’s held responsible for the show’s content. King says that, even with MVP in the ring, King is still the biggest star in the ring right now. There are no other stars here besides him. MVP says they can talk about this in his office. King says unless there is money and girls back there, he’s not leaving. In fact, it’s time for him to main-event TNA. MVP says that could happen, but the show is booked tonight. Maybe next week. King then asks what MVP is doing tonight. He wants MVP participate tonight against King so he can show his stuff. MVP tells him he’s not on the card, and he needs to go. King asks if he can take a bow for his fands before he leaves, then smacks MVP upside the head. He asks for an exhibition match once more, and MVP finally agrees. Commercials.
Back from the break, this match has finally started. Uno takes Sanada down with a top-wristlock, then applies a side headlock. They crisscross until Uno hits a backflip kick. He blocks another kick in the corner, spins Sanada through the ropes and kicks him in the back. He goes for a dive, but Sanada sees him coming, so Uno puts on the breaks. Back in the ring, Uno locks in a modified surfboard before putting his foot into Sanada’s back. Sanada reverses the move and hits a pair of back elbows. Up top, Sanada hits an overhand chop. He follows up with a deep armdrag and a back suplex. He misses a standing moonsault, lands on his feet and hits a seated dropkick to the back for 2. Uno reverses a corner whip, then misses a splash. Sanada locks in a rolling cradle for 2, and Uno rolls to the floor. Sanada goes for a suicide dive, but Uno comes back in with a spinning heel kick. He hits another kick in the corner and goes for a springboard, but he’s met with a dropkick. Sanada goes up for a moonsault, and Uno crotches him, knocking him back down to the mat. Uno heads up now for a split-legged moonsault, but Sanada gets his knees up. He then hits Uno with a tiger suplex and gets 3.
AI stops Magnus in the back again, asking where Abyss is. Magnus says not to worry. There’s a good reason we haven’t seen Abyss yet, and he’ll reveal that reason shortly.
We see Brittany in the locker room with Madison Rayne. She says she looks up to Rayne, then lists off her credentials before saying Rayne doesn’t have a partner for later tonight and offers her services. Rayne says no, because getting involved with the BP is a never-ending struggle and Brittany doesn’t deserve that. Brittany says Rayne was in her position a few years ago and knows what it was like. Rayne agrees, then tells her to shut the door so they can talk strategy.
Magnus heads out to the ring, and he’s got something to share with everyone. He calls Abyss out to the ring, and after a few seconds of patronizing remarks by the champ, Abyss’ music hits. After a few seconds, he comes out in a 3-piece suit, all the while still wearing his mask. Magnus says this is how the upper echelon dresses. Abyss looks like a winner because he’s associated with a winner. Abyss IS a winner, but the reason he was called out here was so they could discuss strategy for the main event later tonight. MVP, SpikeTV, rumor merchants and the idiot fans will say this is a 4-corners match. They know the hook is the prospect of Abyss facing Magnus, but they both know that won’t happen. The reason that won’t happen is because they’re a team and best buds. He treats Abyss like a human, like a star. He mentions James Mitchell, and Abyss starts to get fired up a bit. Magnus calms him down, then mentions Eric Young’s mind games. He’s different. He’s a Brit, and British people have a hard time showing emotion. It’s hard for him to express himself sometimes, and it’s hard for him to say this, but he’d like to say something Abyss has been longing to hear his whole life. Magnus tells Abyss he loves him, then gives Abyss a hug. Abyss looks confused. The two then leave.
As Abyss is heading up the ramp, EY shows up from out of nowhere and nails Abyss in the back of the head. Magnus comes back and the two roll EY into the ring, where they stomp him down. Samoa Joe hits the ring. Magnus flees, and Abyss remains, receiving a headbutt for his effort. As the heels leave, Joe and EY have a staredown before talking some trash to each other. EY tells Joe he doesn’t need help, and for Joe to stay out of his business.
MVP is in his office with the Wolves. He asks if they’re stoked for their tag title rematch tonight. A moment later, the Robbie E walks in with a trainer and says there will be no match tonight. Apparently, Jesse got hurt at the gym and pulled his quad, making him unable to compete tonight, complete with a doctor’s note. E then threatens a lawsuit if MVP tries to make a match. After he leaves, MVP shakes his head and tells the Wolves he can’t take a chance. The title match for tonight is now canceled.
Another video of Knux returning home. We see him at his dad’s house/outhouse. His dad says he needs Knux’s help because the town was hit with a flood recently. Knux offers to stay for a few days and help get his dad’s business up and running again.
MATCH 4: The Beautiful People (Angelina Love and Velvet Sky) vs. Brittany and Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne
“Beautiful” is definitely not the right word for these two. And these costumes are rigoddamndiculous. Brittany and Love start with a lock-up. Love hits a knee and a forearm to the face. Brittany comes back with a kick and a series of forearms. She shoulders Love off the ropes, then hits a pair of armdrags, followed by a bodyslam. Sky tags in and gets hit with a drop-toehold. Sky fights out of a front chancery with a jawbreaker, then sends Brittany to the corner. Brittany hits an elbow, but then gets yanked down by the hair by Love. Love comes in, and the BP hit a double elbow for 2. Love slams Brittany’s face into the mat a couple times, then taunts Rayne, allowing an illegal double-team in the corner. Love hits a snapmare and a seated dropkick to the back before tagging in Sky, who hits a kick to the gut before throwing Brittany to the corner for some shoulder thrusts. Love chokes Brittany behind the ref’s back, and Sky lays in some boots before stacking Brittany up for 2. Brittany comes back with a side-Russian legsweep. Love and Rayne tag in. Rayne ducks a clothesline and hits a pair of her own. She follows up with an enziguri and a running boot to the head for 2 until Sky breaks up the pin. Brittany tags herself in and hits a dropkick. Sky comes in and the BP hit Brittany with the Makeover (a pair of kicks to the chest and back) for 3.
WINNER: The Beautiful People.
MATCH 5-“Exhibition” Match: Kenny King vs. MVP
The two shake hands before locking up. MVP applies an arm wringer. King tries to roll through, but MVP rolls with him, maintaining the hold. King gets to the ropes and backflips his way out of the hold. They lock up again, and now King applies the arm wringer. MVP reverses, then breaks the hold. They lock up again, and now MVP has a hammerlock on King. King reverses into a Japanese armdrag. He then applies a side headlock before the two crisscross. MVP snags King by the leg and applies a modified STF before just letting go for whatever reason. They lock up yet again, and King goes back to the side headlock, turning it into a hipthrow. He turns MVP onto his stomach, then does a handspring just because. MVP hits a hip throw of his own, keeping the side headlock locked in. King counters into a headscissors. MVP escapes and applies a front chancery. He backs King into the corner, and King nails him with a headbutt. King applies a waistlock, and MVP counters into a pair of takedowns. King breaks the hold with a back elbow, and MVP nails him with a right. MVP ducks a clothesline, and now the two trade punches. MVP takes King down and continues nailing rights, and now the match has been thrown out.
WINNER: Double disqualification. Well, that was pointless. A couple of referees hit the ring to pull these two apart, and once they’re separated, King nails MVP from behind before heading back up the ramp.
Magnus is looking for EC3 in the back, finding him in a hallway. He compliments EC3 on his match, and EC3 wants to know what he wants. Magnus says their business relationship is over, but they’re still friends. He asks if EC3 still has his back. EC3 asks where he was when Willow tried to break his leg. He doesn’t know why Magnus needs him, since he’s got Abyss, a man Magnus claims to love. He’s afraid Abyss will come unleashed and go for the title. Magnus doesn’t want to play therapist, and just wants to know if EC3 has his back. EC3 doesn’t have an answer.
AI catches up with Kenny King in the back. King calls the match a good-spirited exhibition, and MVP was trying to play him, so he had to show him a little bit of something. MVP storms in and begins nailing him with rights, and the fight spills outside. The Wolves just happen to be nearby, and they get between the two, calming MVP down as King leaves the area.
MATCH 6-4-Corners Match for the World Championship: Samoa Joe vs. Eric Young vs. Abyss vs. Magnus (Champion)
Abyss attacks EY, while Magnus squares off with Joe in the adjacent corner. Magnus hits a couple of strikes, but Joe comes back with an inverted atomic drop, a running boot and a running senton. EY begins hitting Abyss with rights as the other two start brawling at ringside. EY hits a shoulder thrust from the apron, slides back into the ring and dropkicks Abyss to the floor. Joe and Abyss trade punches, and Magnus joins in. EY takes them out with a suicide dive, then rolls Magnus back in for a top rope cross-body for 2. Abyss comes in and misses an avalanche on EY, hitting Magnus instead. Joe is back in, and he argues with EY. Abyss and Magnus nail both of them. Commercials.
WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: Magnus.
We get a teaser for next week, ending with a graphic for the hashtag #WrathofDixie.
End of show.
Dustin Nichols is a freelance writer, and you can keep track of all of his work on his Facebook page, which can be found at www.facebook.com/DustinNicholsWriter. Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out his mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:
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