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Inside The Wheelhouse: Tim Tebow’s near death experience

 alt=Okay so before I get to the whole Tim Tebow’s mom’s Super Bowl Commercial thing I’ve just have to know. The Olympic figure skater John Weir, the one in trouble because his outfit may have featured real fur, is he the guy that played the homosexual in Wedding Crashers that sodomized Vince Vaughn? If not I’ve got a couple of great Halloween costumes for both of those dudes.

Now back to this whole Super Bowl fiasco. Apparently an ad is going to air in which Tim Tebow’s mom divulges that she was advised to have an abortion while pregnant with Tim because of complications with the pregnancy. Ultimately she chose door number 2 and was rewarded with a Heisman Trophy Winner and 2 time National Champion son. Apparently a pro choice group is protesting, saying the Super Bowl is hardly the forum for such a discussion. After all there will be kids watching!!!!

[adinserter block=”1″]So let me get this straight. The commercial where the kids see people drinking beer is fine. The commercial where a 60 year old man can finally get a hard on is A-OK. The go-daddy commercials where Danica Patrick does everything except go-down on another girl, no sweat. Even the Victoria Secret lingerie bowl is fine for the kids. But the one where they are told it’s ok not to kill babies…that’s the one that has to go??? Really? Okay fine. That sounds perfectly logical!!!

I don’t see how this commercial would bother a person a pro choice person. I mean after all, ISN’T LIFE ONE OF THE CHOICES???? Perhaps, dare I say, there are pro-choice people who AREN’T ACTUALLY PRO-CHOICE UNLESS IT’S THEIR CHOICE, i.e. ABORTION? I’m just asking.

People will protest anything. And if you don’t believe me go ask the fine folks in Punxsatawney, Pennsylvania, home of the world famous groundhog. PETA is calling for the century old groundhog emergence to be done with a robotic groundhog. They’re claiming all of the cameras and noise are cruel to a groundhog, which makes perfect sense because every groundhog I’ve talked to swears by his silent time. How the FUC# would they know??

The lesson here for those of you still reading (the ones who aren’t Democrat friends of mine from San Francisco) is that sometimes specialized groups need to stay relevant so they get together and protest high profile events, knowing they’ll fail but hopefully bring some publicity to their cause in the process. Hence the rally outside of Punxsatawney Phil’s condo next week.

[adinserter block=”2″]And while we’re sort of talking politics here…can we change the phrase wall street to main street to something else?? It’s been two years of the same phrase everyday!!! How about Wall St to Peachtree St? Wall Street to Euclid Ave? I’m just saying. And I know it’s a bad economy but don’t get in my cab with fake poverty stories. You know the ones where people who are fine don’t want to give away the monopoly on miserable so they delude themselves into a hardship state of mind? A woman told me yesterday that the economy is so bad that her and her husband have decided to put off remodeling their kitchen. They had the granite counter top picked out and everything!!!!!!! But alas, they’ve decided to wait. Pray for her! Poor is when you’re using a tube of toothpaste so thoroughly that you now have it in a vice grip to get the last mili-ounce of paste out. That’s the real litmus test. There is a direct correlation between the percentage of a toothpaste tube you use before buying a new one and how well you are doing financially.

If you asked a hundred people who the best NBA player was over the past fifteen years none of them would say Tim Duncan. And you know something? All hundred would be wrong. Tim Duncan is the NBA’s equivalent of the sun rising every day. And he does it all without a peep or a tweet. 4 championships and you never hear a word about the guy. Could you imagine the hysteria if Lebron, the most hyped player ever, actually won one championship?? Forget 4 four titles that Duncan has bagged, just one title for Lebron! Obama would be HIS vice president! They’d make a federal holiday out of his birthday! I mean shucks, if Lebron could do ten percent of what Duncan’s done the NBA would be so popular that PETA would be protesting the fact that the balls are made of leather.

Jimmy Failla can be reached at or the Ann Service Taxi Dispatch on w’ 21st street because he’s making something of his life. Honest.

Jimmy Failla is a guest contributor “Wheelhouse Radio” program that airs every Sunday – Thursday @ 8pm ET/5pm PT at and at @ 2am ET/11pm PT

You can visit The Wheelhouse’s official website where you can download “high quality” shows and see all the latest happenings with the show at

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You can catch out Jimmy Failla at his official website at you can also check out his blog at

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