Humor

Let’s Build the NFL Hall of Shame

This August, the National Football League will convene in Canton, OH to hold its annual Hall of Fame ceremony.

The event is always a joyous occasion, in which gridiron greats take their place in immortality as the football world looks on. 2010 will be no exception, as Emmitt Smith and Jerry Rice head up a seven player class that is as tremendous as its predecessors.

As great a spectacle and as honored an occasion as this is, here in the internet generation, we also tend to appreciate the darker side of the sport.

Why can’t we have a “Hall of Shame”, so to speak? You know, a not-so-hallowed hall that calls attention to the most disgraceful athletes to ever associate with professional football?

We can do this ourselves.

Recently, I opened a new website dedicated to the surreal absurdity that exists in the NFL, and then I take it one step further. It’s called “The Couch Groove”, and I’ve dedicated it to fans who share my zeal for the twisted side of the sport.

Site is located here, for those who wish to sample the insanity firsthand: http://couchgroove.webs.com/

Thus far, I’ve been content to do news stories a la The Onion, but I feel that it needs its own kick to it. You know, something to be a cornerstone of its existence, and to stand out on its own.

So I’ve decided, with total lucidity, to create the NFL Hall of Shame.

I’ve also decided to leave the voting in the hands of you, the people. Afterall, it should be a group effort to decide who’s most worthy of being inducted, right?

There will be four wings of this NFL Hall of Shame. They are as follows.

THE CRIMINALS. You know the ones. The wife killing, drug dealing, car stealing, illegal gambling, gun carrying, manslaughtering, street dancing (DHANI!!!) icons who give Court TV something to chew on. OJ Simpson is an obvious call, but there are more. Oh yes, there are more.

THE DRAFT BUSTS. Don’t you love these guys? In April, they get national attention as one of the NFL’s top picks, and then they end up bottoming out like an overstuffed potato sack. All the hype, none of the reward. Except watching them go boom, that is.

THE CRAPPY COACHES AND ADMISTRATORS. Their decisions derailed good teams. Or, at the very least, made bad teams even more embarrassingly bad. Matt Millen may have been a damn good player in his day, but his treatment of the Lions gives him consideration here. Consideration? More like a free pass inside. And as for coaches, we can all name one that coached our teams into oblivion. Plenty to go around.

THE BAD TALKING HEADS. Studio hosts, commentators, sideline reporters, and know-it-all prognosticators are more annoying than a living full of mosquitoes and flies. It’s time to put them into their proper place. The Hall of Shame, that is.

And that’s it! Four groups of absolute crap that deserve special recognition.

One rule, however, and that is that to qualify, you have to have been out of the game for at least 2 years. Things have to play out first, and once the body of work is evident, then they’re fair game.

To cast nominees, you can…

-Visit Couch Groove’s Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Couch-Groove-Football/110896825624402?ref=ts and comment.

-Send an e-mail to [email protected] with your picks

And that’s it! More details will follow soon, so check out http://couchgroove.webs.com to stay informed.

So thank you all for your consideration, and we hope to hear from you!

Justin Henry is a freelance writer who enjoys putting his thoughts and opinions into text. His love of professional wrestling, as well as enjoyment of writing, has led to the creation of the Cynical Examination, his personal writing haven. Justin can be found on Facebook, Twitter, his website portfolio, or he can be e-mailed at [email protected].

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Eric G.

Eric is the owner and editor-in-chief of the Camel Clutch Blog. Eric has worked in the pro wrestling industry since 1995 as a ring announcer in ECW and a commentator/host on television, PPV, and home video. Eric also hosted Pro Wrestling Radio on terrestrial radio from 1998-2009. Check out some of Eric's work on his IMDB bio and Wikipedia. Eric has an MBA from Temple University's Fox School of Business.

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