So, after doing a top ten list for the ten best unsigned female wrestlers (which you can find on my blog at http://nerdslikeme.blogspot.com), I decided that maybe another one was in order.
It was a fun list and relatively easy for me to put together, so why not do another one? From there, I had to think, what could I do that would be relatively easy to put together and could be fun and entertaining at the same time. Surprisingly, it led me to an idea for TNA Wrestling, a company that the words “fun” and “entertaining” rarely ever apply to.
Regardless of what some people might think, I’d love to see TNA succeed as a company, as pro wrestling, at the mainstream level, needs competition. We all know WWE is the top company around, but in regards to competition, TNA is the company that has the best chance of being competition.
However, there are a lot of problems with this company (I won’t dwell on them all here) that are holding them back, one of which is talent. There is plenty of talent in the company, but there are a lot of people in the company who are lacking in the talent department are doing nothing but taking up space and holding the company back.
Now, I won’t go with the obvious of people like Hogan, Jarrett, Russo, Bischoff, etc., as we all know the problems they cause; I’m talking about actual wrestlers who are nothing but dead weight to the company, regardless of what those in TNA would have you believe. These are wrestlers that are simply wastes of money and/or taking up television time and space that could be devoted to far more talented wrestlers. So now, I present to you 10 Pieces of Talent in TNA That Are Dead Weight. (Note: I will be focusing on in-ring competitors here, so total wastes of space like Karen Jarrett will be omitted.)
Starting with number 10 is a name that, unless you’re a lucha libre fan, you may have never heard. Hell, you’re probably thinking I’m making this up and that there’s no one named El Zorro working for TNA. And while I certainly understand why you’d think that, you’re wrong. For those that don’t know, El Zorro is a star in AAA in Mexico, and is fact the man Jeff Jarrett beat to win the Mega Championship. Now, there is really nothing wrong with Zorro, as he’s a fairly decent wrestler. Not the best, but far from the worst. However, in this case, he’s dead weight. Why, do you ask? Because Zorro has been under contract to TNA, yet has never made ONE SINGLE APPEARANCE for the company. When I say that, I’m not talking just television; he has never wrestled on Xplosion or even on a TNA house show. Basically, he’s been paid the last 8 months to do nothing more than continue working in AAA. If TNA wants to hire international wrestlers such as Zorro, that’s fantastic. But why don’t they, you know, use the wrestler so the money’s not wasted? Just a thought. And people in the company wonder why they get compared to WCW during it’s dying years.
Although Okada has made a few appearances on the TNA’s show, they have been few and far between. In fact, his last appearance was being on the receiving end of a total squash courtesy of D’Angelo Dinero. Aside from that, he has done nothing but act as Samoa Joe’s limo driver and pretend to be Kato from “The Green Hornet”, something that Dixie Carter thinks was brand new when the Seth Rogen movie came out. And maybe it’s just because I haven’t seen much out of his in-ring work, but what he has shown me just sucks. He could be better than this, I don’t know, but again, when you’ve got a wrestler under contract that never wrestles, who the hell knows how good or bad he is?
God, I feel like a broken record at this point. Murphy hasn’t been on the show for around 2 or 3 months now, and even when he was on the show, didn’t do jack aside from getting squashed by literally everyone on the roster. And he is just a lumbering oaf in the ring to boot. At least his former partner, Gunner, is slightly competent; Murphy’s friggin’ clown shoes.
7. ROB TERRY
You know, just because you’re big doesn’t mean you’re talented. When even Vince McMahon-who as we all know gets major chubbies for big guys-can’t get past your size because you suck so insanely badly in the ring, it’s time to reconsider your career choice. If you don’t believe me in regards to Terry’s sloppiness, take a look at his match with the aforementioned Murphy from a couple months back.
6. ROBBIE E
I have never been impressed with the former Rob Eckos. He’s a sub-par worker at best, and his pseudo-charisma is completely forced. In all honesty, the only thing that makes him worth watching is the fact that Becky “Cookie” Bayless comes to the ring with him. When your best quality is your valet, it’s time you got the hell off my TV screen.
You know, I used to be somewhat of a Winter fan during her WWE/ECW days. She was good-looking, wore sexy outfits and was paired up with the criminally underrated Paul Birchill, so there was no reason really dislike her. Ever since she has been in TNA, though, everything I liked about her is now hidden behind everything about her that sucks. To start, is it just me, or has does she actually get more and more pale by the week? In a couple months, she’ll be as white as Sheamus. Aside from that, now that she’s gotten all of this exposure, her flaws are shining through. She is atrocious on the microphone, has the acting ability of a gerbil, and is a botch fest in every one of her matches. I didn’t think it was possible to screw up something as basic as a sleeper hold, but she has managed to prove me wrong.
Where in the name of Davey Crockett’s sweat-stained buckskins did they find this guy? Anarquia is one of the worst performers I’ve ever seen on a televised wrestling program in a very long time. He is actually worse than Hernandez on the microphone (and that’s saying something) and his in-ring ability is nil. The best comparison that I can come up with is he’s basically TNA’s version of David Otunga in that the only thing going for him is the fact that he’s got a decent look. Even then, Anarquia’s look is nothing special. Much like Otunga, he does nothing but punches and kicks while his far-more talented teammate does all the real work.
3. SCOTT STEINER
Back in the day, I was a huge fan of Scott. His work with his brother Rick as the Steiner Brothers was incredible, and they are one of wrestling history’s best tag teams for a reason. Hell, I was even a fan of Steiner’s during his first run as a singles star in WCW when he was quite possibly the hottest heel in wrestling, second only to Vince McMahon. But time has not been kind to Steiner, and it’s really starting to show (that, and he hasn’t been kind to his body). Despite how he looks-and even then he’s starting to look bad with the concave chest and distended belly, Steiner is not healthy. He has chronic issues with his back and knees, not to mention permanent drop-foot syndrome (A name that I think would be cool for Gail Kim’s finisher, BTW). It shows in the ring, as watching him try to wrestle is about as exciting as watching a turtle walk at this point. He’s extremely slow and is notorious for botching moves. Aside from that, let’s be honest-the guy is out of his mind. Granted, it makes for some unintentionally hilarious promos, but Steiner is notorious for his short fuse and being a danger to work with as a result. The guy is a former world champion and has held countless titles all over the world. Really, what does he have left to prove? It’s time to hang it up.
Much like with Steiner, I was a huge fan of Sting back in the day. He is, in my opinion, one of the greatest stars of the late ‘80s to early ‘00s. It’s because of this that I want Sting to go away. Sting has absolutely nothing left to prove to anyone. He’s got a resume’ that speaks for itself, including multiple world title reigns and great matches with practically every major star of the last 30+ years. On top of that, Sting has invested his money wisely (unlike a certain “Nature Boy” who almost made the list) and really doesn’t need to work anymore. So, why is he still hanging on? Sting has never been one to go into business for himself and only do right by him, yet he is constantly winning TNA’s world title every couple of months or so, and is almost always the featured character or involved in the feature storyline on the company’s TV broadcasts.
This behavior benefits no one but Sting, a man who doesn’t need the benefit anymore. And again, much like Steiner, Sting is beginning to show his age and is really falling apart. If I’m not mistaken, he’s due for either shoulder or knee surgery yet again, yet he continues to keep wrestling. And for what? A few more title reigns that would be much more beneficial to someone else like A.J. Styles or Christopher Daniels? Sting should have retired at least 4 years ago (if not even longer), yet he keeps coming back. Meanwhile, the exorbitant amount of money that goes to his contracts could be used to bring in some new, hungry talent, or at the very least, give a raise to someone in the company who deserves the extra money (again, like Styles or Daniels). Whether Sting realizes it or not, he’s destroying his own legacy by hanging on, and I lose more and more respect for him with every passing week.
Okay, so I cheated a little bit hear and am giving you a two-fer. It’s my column, shoot me. The main reason here is because where one Hardy goes, the other is surely to follow. I will try to keep this short, as I could be here all day with the problems surrounding the Hardlys. With Matt Hardy, you’ve got a discipline case who thinks he’s much greater than he actually is, who would rather spend time dicking around on Twitter and YouTube than focusing on his career. It’s because of this lack of interest in his career that has caused him to shoot his mouth off at every possible turn and burn every bridge he’s crossed as a result. I’d be willing to bet not even ROH would take him back at this point. And there’s also his weight issues. Now, he may be slightly leaner at this point (although it’s been a while since I’ve seen him), but it’s only a matter of time before he gets lazy again and turns into a tub of goo. He’s done it several times in the past. He will do it again. This brings us to little brother Meth Hardy.
Much like Fatt, the younger Hardy has a major attitude problem and thinks he’s greater than he is, going so far as to spout off random drunken rants directed at current WWE (and much more highly regarded) star CM Punk, not to mention blasting his brother’s girlfriend with a taser and uploading the video to YouTube for all of the world to see. I don’t think I really need to go into his drug problems, but I will at least briefly mention them. TNA, in their infinite wisdom, decided to put their world title on the guy in the middle of major legal issues involving drug trafficking and distribution.
To make matters worse, they actually did this TWICE. And this wasn’t just a one-time thing; Jeff’s had drug problems for years, and refuses to get help for it. In one of the most unprofessional acts I’ve ever seen, he allegedly showed to a TNA PPV completely blitzed out of his mind. Instead of scrapping his scheduled match with Sting or at the very least give Sting a replacement opponent, Dixie Carter and company thought it would be best to send Hardy to the ring to wrestle anyway, and Hardy wasn’t even coherent enough to climb the ring steps like a normal person. He was so out of it that Sting was ordered to squash him, which he did in 82 seconds. You would think that would have been the wake-up call to fire Jeff.
Instead, they keep him on the payroll and are in the process of giving him a brand new biography-style DVD. So, in simplest terms, TNA is giving it’s wrestlers and fans the impression that, if you’re somewhat of a star, you will be protected at all costs, even if you are a danger to yourself and others.
Honorable mentions include: Bully Ray, Crimson, Gunner, Jesse Neal, Mr. Anderson and Ric Flair (who almost made the list, but I kept him off because he doesn’t wrestle regularly anyway. Not that that’s a bad thing at this point).
Well, that does it for this time. Hope you enjoyed my first attempt at a column outside of a recap here on Camel Clutch. As always, feel free to follow me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/XDustinEFLX, and follow my personal blog at http://nerdslikeme.blogspot.com (which includes the aforementioned “Top 10 Unsigned Female Wrestlers” list). Oh, and if you like bodybuilding, check out my mom’s official site by clicking the banner below:
See you next time!