Roman Reigns wins Fictional Award, Threatens to Bring About Armageddon


Roman Reigns won the Slammy award for WWE Superstar of the year on Monday Night Raw. The big Samoan has been out of action for a while due to injury and his appearance on the program was surely a great moment for fans that have been anxious for his return.

[adinserter block=”1″]And for everyone else the world came to an end; cats and dogs living together, its mass hysteria. According to this little batch of crazies, Roman had no business winning that silly little gold trophy. That recognition belonged to Dean Ambrose, the man that has taken the company by storm while simultaneously trying to make everyone forget about CM Punk.

But that did not happen. And despite the fact that a few days have passed since the Slammys, many fans are still sitting in front of their mirrors smearing on lipstick and brushing their hair with way too much intensity. However, there is cause for optimism. There is a reason to let go of the disappointment and begin to once again live in the here and now.

Why is that? Gather round, kids have I got a shocker for you. The Slammys are a work. Period. Oh, WWE advertised the event everywhere and was begging for votes on every category all across the board. They encouraged the audience to participate and let their voices be heard, to determine just who would walk away with those coveted awards.

But yeah, it’s all a work. Notice I didn’t say the votes were not legit. I’m not suggesting that WWE didn’t see the numbers and God knows I don’t want to be accused of being a smarty pants here. What I am saying is that the votes probably didn’t matter all that much in the end. The company will put guys into spots because it wants them there, not because the fans vote a Slammy into his hands.

By the way, I’m not saying the word Slammy anymore. WWE is already rife with one bit of nonsense after another, there’s no need to call these fictional awards by such a ridiculous name. So, I’m over it. You want to use it, be my guest.

The fact is that the award-that-shall-not-be-named is nothing more than a prop. But the fans love them and if you don’t believe that then just go to Twitter and see for yourself. Be prepared however; hilarity will ensue. Don’t get me wrong here; I have no problem with fans that have allowed themselves to be so completely absorbed into the product that they have totally dismissed reality. In fact, I take no issue with that at all.

After all, isn’t that what a fan is supposed to do? Aren’t fans supposed to suspend their disbelief of the real world long enough to enjoy the manufactured world that’s been created for them by WWE? Aren’t fans supposed to care about the product to the point that it becomes real to them? Isn’t that kind of the point?

Yes, it is. And maybe I should just follow along with them and just have fun with it. Maybe I should forget the fact that people lost their minds and just go crazy with them. Imagine letting go of everything and spending countless hours complaining about the fact that your favorite Superstar did not win the pointless award that you voted 47 times for him to win.

Imagine what it must feel like to abandon all sense of reality and just become one with WWE. Unfortunately for me, I can’t do that. I’m one of those guys that sit back and watch the insanity unfold before him. I marvel at the things that are said, shaking my head at the number of times “Ambrose should have won” was uttered in social media. It’s an amazing sight to behold.

And no, I’m not anti-Ambrose. Not at all. In fact, I think the guy has never looked better. I think that Dean will be the most popular number two guy that WWE has seen since the aforementioned Best in the World. And when it happens, you’ll all sit back and remember that Tom told you so. So there.

But at the end of the day, Roman is the next top guy. That’s it. You can hate that, you can ignore that, you can do everything in your power to forget about him and his award-that-shall-not-be-named and focus all your energy on Dean Ambrose. If that’s what you want, go with God.

That will not change the fact that Roman is the heir apparent to John Cena. It’s his torch to receive and before anyone thinks I have now lost my mind as well, let me assure you I’m well aware of how much money John makes for that company. He equals dollar signs to them and that will not be easy to replace one day.

[adinserter block=”2″]But WWE will have to at some point. Cena is only getting older and one day, his time will be up. For the company to ensure its existence past Cena’s shelf life, it must begin building toward the future. Roman Reigns is the cornerstone of that future and if getting some frivolous award is part of paving the way for him to get there, then so be it.

Dean is still getting it done in the ring and he’s still the one that many fans are paying to see. No lack of trophy will change that. So go on about your day, continue to complain if you want and gosh darn it, have fun with it. As for me, I’ll be sitting back a little saner and a little more reserved than some. Maybe I am a smarty pants after all.

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  1. Roman Reigns: Records
    Most Eliminations in royal rumble-12
    Most Elimination in survivor series-4
    Former tag team champion
    Almost never lost a match on clean sheets
    Defeated Randy Orton at Summer Slam
    Defeated Team Hell No and The Undertaker ( With the shield)
    …..With ONLY 5 MOVES and a poor mic skill !!!!!!!

    And he shouldn’t have won the slammy award? Think…


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