The NFL announced last week that the Black Eyed Peas will be performing at this year’s Super Bowl XLV halftime show. Great, the first chance the NFL has to get back into exciting halftime shows and they pull a total “mom”. What is a “mom”? A “mom” is when someone says something or does something that was either cool years ago or never really cool.
Take this example: My mom and I were riding in the car when I was in 7th grade. Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit” was playing on the radio. My mom goes “I don’t like that, put on that Vanilla Ice.” That was her attempt to be cool and hip with her 13 year old son. By picking the Black Eyed Peas, the NFL tried to be cool and hip and came out looking like a mom.
Love her, hate her, like her, can’t stand her, Lady Gaga would have been the best choice for the NFL. You know millions of people would actually watch the halftime show again just to see what she would wear. Yes, it would be provocative and the six second delay would be completely necessary but it would be memorable. Nobody is going to remember the Black Eyed Peas performance this year.
Lady Gaga would have been the correct choice this year at the height of her popularity. Next year is going to be too late. Who knows what is going to happen to Lady Gaga over the next sixteen months. She could still be a major attraction, but never as powerful as she is now. Her current tour is selling out venues all over the country and critics rave about her theatrical and over the top shows. This is exactly what the NFL needed to bring the excitement back to the halftime show.
I don’t even want to watch the Super Bowl halftime show. I do however want to see the NFL, the most popular sports league in the country, do something bold for a change. They took away our Icky Shuffles, Greatest Show on Turfs, tweets, props and our halftime shows. They had a chance for one night to bring one of those back, and they pulled a “mom.”
Here is some free advice NFL. A list of ten musical acts never to pick for the halftime show…ever. In no particular order.
1. Sheryl Crow. Awful
2. Faith Hill. The NBC Sunday Night Football song is awful.
3. Darius Rucker. Only if Tiger Woods is running the NFL, then still awful.
4. Creed. Awful since the first note of their first song was recorded.
5. Justin Bieber. Kid Awful.
6. Nickleback. Mom rock awful.
7. Carrie Underwood. Country Crossover Awful.
8. Daughtry. Bald with an annoying voice awful.
9. Kid Rock. Trash Awful.
10. Clay Aiken. Awful times a billion.
Join ESPN Insider today for the best sports analysis online, plus ESPN The Magazine!