Humor

Great Thinkers on Professional Wrestling Part I

There seems to be quite a lot of division amongst wrestling fans in this day and age, so I thought that it would be helpful to scan the catacombs of history to discover what famous thinkers would have to say if they were asked about professional wrestling. Perhaps these intellectual leviathans will help to lead us into a new age of wrestling prosperity! Or not. Either way I hope you enjoy part one of my new series: Great Thinkers on Professional Wrestling! (For original quotations visit my twitter page @ancapmiller)

If Ric Flair has a match in the forest and no one is around to see it, does he bleed? – Various

What doesn’t kill you makes you Mick Foley. – Friedrich Nietzsche

I think, therefore I am not Vince Russo. – Rene Descartes

TNA Booking: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. – Albert Einstein

A cruiserweight’s a cruiserweight no matter how small. – Dr. Seuss

Give me liberty, or give me the WWE Network for $9.99! – Patrick Henry

It is the mark of an educated mind to entertain a swerve without executing it. – Aristotle

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where Daniel Bryan wins the Royal Rumble. – Martin Luther King Jr.

Professional wrestling is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated. – Confucius

Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them by Vince McMahon. – William Shakespeare

The best argument against John Cena is a five-minute conversation with the average fan. – Winston Churchill

To succeed in WWE, you need two things: muscles and muscles. – Mark Twain

It is easy to boo Vader from a safe distance. – Aesop

Let us always meet each other with the crotch chop, for the crotch chop is the beginning of attitude. – Mother Teresa

Original Quotations:

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? – Various

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. – Friedrich Nietzsche

I think, therefore I am. – Rene Descartes

Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. – Albert Einstein

A person’s a person no matter how small. – Dr. Seuss

Give me liberty, or give me death! – Patrick Henry

It is the mark of an educated mind to entertain a thought without accepting it. – Aristotle

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character. – Martin Luther King Jr.

Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated. – Confucius

Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them. – William Shakespeare

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter. – Winston Churchill

To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence. – Mark Twain

It is easy to be brave from a safe distance. – Aesop

Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love. – Mother Teresa

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